论中美婚俗(marriage custom：China vs USA)

Marriage Customs: China vs. USA

[Abstract] There exist many differences between American and Chinese Wedding customs. Meanwhile there are some things in common between them and they are integrating continually in contemporary society.

[Key Words] marriage custom; differences; common; integration

For a person, Marriage is the combination of two persons. But for the whole society, it reflects the social thoughts, ethics and cultures of a certain period. Marriage is not only the important content of contemporaries, but also our rich cultural heritage and another clue of our modern life. After the reform and opening up of china, American and Chinese culture are integrated increasingly though their constant impact. And they are drawing with each other. Analyzing and discussing the life event will help us better understand the similarities and differences between Chinese and American cultures and make cross-cultural communication more smoothly.

There exist many differences between American and Chinese wedding customs. Meanwhile there are some things in common between them and they are integrating continually in contemporary society. Because of that, the most direct and effective way to understand the cultural similarities and differences between the two countries is to focus on their traditional marriage customs.

China and USA belong to different cultures and ideologies, so the difference is obvious.

Americans emphasize the feelings about their marriage: unrestrained contact, choosing a spouse freely and free love. Generally, love between men and women do not need matchmakers, and their parents rarely intervened. Emphasis on sexual love is their concept of love. They believe that they don’t need to know too much about each other. Because beautiful appearance, strong body, sexy temptation are sufficient to constitute the basis of feelings.

But Chinese are relatively conservative and old-fashioned. This is because of the feudal ethics of two thousand years. In ancient China, people have to comply with feudal patriarchate and the feudal ethics. In ancient china "men and women are not

allowed to get close to each other” is very popular. The feudal ruling class and vigorously promote "women shall never step out of the house". They emphasize the virgin character strongly. So many girls are always "kept in boudoirs and not known by anyone else". The marriage between men and women should abide by "no matchmaking no marriage". Naturally, “to get married in compliance with the ideas of the parents and the matchmak ers” is the main symbol of legal marriages. Marriage without matchmakers will be consider illegal and not be recognized by society. In the ancient times, it is general that the man requests a matchmaker to propose to the woman’s family. Under the same cond itions, it is not appropriate that the woman propose to the man’s family.

However, on the traditional marriage ceremony, marriage customs in the United States is not simple than that in China. There is some complicated etiquette in Chinese traditional marriage customs, such as the "three books and six rites". The so-called “three books “refers to Letters of appointment, Gift books and The bridal books. The “six rites " refers to Offering presents ,Asking names, Divining an auspicious wedding day, Sending trousseau, Suggestion of a date for the wedding and Welcoming the bride. In Chinese, they are called Na Cai, Wen Ming, Na Ji, Na Zheng, Qing Qi, Ying Qin.

When everything is ready, the wedding will go to the climax of the wedding - to welcome the bride. The most typical tool is sedan. In Chinese, it is called “ba tai da jiao”. It will be carried by four people or eight people. At that time, the sedan will follow a band, which beats drums and blows trumpets all the way. It makes the scene lively very much. The purpose of this behavior is to make the people of the neighboring villages aware of the marriage. Only in this way, the wedding can be considered as formal marriage.

After the bride get home, there is a very important ceremony. In Chinese, it is called “Bai Tang”. Only after that, the newly-wed can be recognized as a husband and wife and the marriage can be established. “Bai Tang” is also called “Bai Tian Di”. This is a Chinese ethics which reflects the great significance of etiquette system at that time.