高考英语作文公开课
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((2010·湖北高考)结合生活中的一个事例，用 英语写一篇短文，谈谈微笑的作用。 内容包括： (1)你是如何看待微笑的作用的； (2)谈谈你所经历的让你最感动或给你印象最 深刻的一次微笑； (3)你对微笑的感悟。
Which composition feels more attractive, why?
Once I failed in my history exam. I was very sad. Later, I told my grandma this thing and said even though I studied hard, I couldn't achieve high grades . I didn't know what I could do. I couldn’t have passed the exam but for her encouragement. " Don't give up becuase failure is the mother of success." my grandma said .
I know the kind smile can make us feel warm like the sun.
修改前的作文
People often say,"A smile can make you ten years younger." Not only smile can help us forget the unhappy things, but also it help us keep good mood. Once I failed in my history exam. I are very sad. Later, I tell my grandma this thing say I hard-working history every day,but history still not good. I didn't know what I could do. Finally, I passed the exam becuase of her smile and encouragement."You don't give up becuase failure is the mother of success." my grandma said . I know the kindness smile is likes the sun, can warmed our heart.
IIccoouuldldnn’t’thhaavveeppaassseseddththeepphhyysiscicsseexxaammbbuut tfoforryyoouurrhheelplp. .
小试牛刀 1.When they got to the station, they met the young man.
高级句式：As the saying goes,"A smile can make you ten years younger."
2. 一般句式：
I passed the exam becuase of her smile and
encouragement.
(用虚拟语气）
高级句式：
I couldn’t have passed the exam but for her smile and encouragement.
wenku.baidu.com
Discussion-- 找出这篇作文的错误并改正
2
1 People often say,"A smile can make you ten years younger." Not
helps
only scmanilsemcailen help us forget the unhappy things, but also it help us
6
ecvoeurldyn'dt aacyh,bieuvte hhiigshtogrryadsetsil.l not good. I didn't know what I could do.
7Fi nally, I passe d t he exam bec uase of her s mile a nd
3
4
keep good mood. Once I failed in my history exam. I waraes very sad.
中式中文
5 Later, II toteldllmmy gyragnrdamnadtmhisathtihnigsanthdisnagid seaveyn IthohuagrhdI-wstuodrikeidnhgarhd,isI tory
8
encouragement."You don't give up becuase failure is the mother of
9
success." my grandma said . I kknnoowwththeekiknidndsmneilsescsamnimleaikseluiksefseethl e
hardly...when... 一。。。就。。 Hardly had they got to the station
when they met the young man.
2. He is a very good boy.(改为感叹句)
What a good boy he is !
修改后的作文
As the saying goes,"A smile can make you ten years younger." Not only can smile help us forget the unhappy things, but also it helps us keep good mood.
wsuanr,mcalnikweatrhmeesduonu.r heart. 中式中文
Conclusion
书面表达有方法 三段结构把架搭 十句中文心中划 主谓时态要一致 每句短语，句型化 特殊句型锦添花
如何句型锦添花？
看看同学们的作文中哪些句子可以锦添花？
1.一般句式：People often say,"A smile can make you ten years younger."
英语书面表达
English Composition Writing
淮阳中学高三英语组： 胡丹
Teaching goals 1.引导学生认识写作中常出现的错误
并改正。 2.引导学生掌握基本的写作步骤和要领。 3. 鼓励学生通过当堂写作训练，提高 记叙文（夹叙夹议）写作能力和兴趣。
check your classwork
Which composition feels more attractive, why?
Once I failed in my history exam. I was very sad. Later, I told my grandma this thing and said even though I studied hard, I couldn't achieve high grades . I didn't know what I could do. I couldn’t have passed the exam but for her encouragement. " Don't give up becuase failure is the mother of success." my grandma said .
I know the kind smile can make us feel warm like the sun.
修改前的作文
People often say,"A smile can make you ten years younger." Not only smile can help us forget the unhappy things, but also it help us keep good mood. Once I failed in my history exam. I are very sad. Later, I tell my grandma this thing say I hard-working history every day,but history still not good. I didn't know what I could do. Finally, I passed the exam becuase of her smile and encouragement."You don't give up becuase failure is the mother of success." my grandma said . I know the kindness smile is likes the sun, can warmed our heart.
IIccoouuldldnn’t’thhaavveeppaassseseddththeepphhyysiscicsseexxaammbbuut tfoforryyoouurrhheelplp. .
小试牛刀 1.When they got to the station, they met the young man.
高级句式：As the saying goes,"A smile can make you ten years younger."
2. 一般句式：
I passed the exam becuase of her smile and
encouragement.
(用虚拟语气）
高级句式：
I couldn’t have passed the exam but for her smile and encouragement.
wenku.baidu.com
Discussion-- 找出这篇作文的错误并改正
2
1 People often say,"A smile can make you ten years younger." Not
helps
only scmanilsemcailen help us forget the unhappy things, but also it help us
6
ecvoeurldyn'dt aacyh,bieuvte hhiigshtogrryadsetsil.l not good. I didn't know what I could do.
7Fi nally, I passe d t he exam bec uase of her s mile a nd
3
4
keep good mood. Once I failed in my history exam. I waraes very sad.
中式中文
5 Later, II toteldllmmy gyragnrdamnadtmhisathtihnigsanthdisnagid seaveyn IthohuagrhdI-wstuodrikeidnhgarhd,isI tory
8
encouragement."You don't give up becuase failure is the mother of
9
success." my grandma said . I kknnoowwththeekiknidndsmneilsescsamnimleaikseluiksefseethl e
hardly...when... 一。。。就。。 Hardly had they got to the station
when they met the young man.
2. He is a very good boy.(改为感叹句)
What a good boy he is !
修改后的作文
As the saying goes,"A smile can make you ten years younger." Not only can smile help us forget the unhappy things, but also it helps us keep good mood.
wsuanr,mcalnikweatrhmeesduonu.r heart. 中式中文
Conclusion
书面表达有方法 三段结构把架搭 十句中文心中划 主谓时态要一致 每句短语，句型化 特殊句型锦添花
如何句型锦添花？
看看同学们的作文中哪些句子可以锦添花？
1.一般句式：People often say,"A smile can make you ten years younger."
英语书面表达
English Composition Writing
淮阳中学高三英语组： 胡丹
Teaching goals 1.引导学生认识写作中常出现的错误
并改正。 2.引导学生掌握基本的写作步骤和要领。 3. 鼓励学生通过当堂写作训练，提高 记叙文（夹叙夹议）写作能力和兴趣。
check your classwork