ted演讲之twentysomething20岁的事

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TED演讲稿-20岁光阴不再(中英互译)

TED演讲稿-20岁光阴不再(中英互译)

When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapy client. I was a Ph.D. student in clinical psychology at Berkeley. She was a26-year-old woman named Alex.记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时,我才20多岁。

当时我是Berkeley临床心理学在读博士生。

我的第一位顾客是名叫Alex的女性,26岁。

Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. Now when I heard this, I was so relieved. My classmate got an arsonist for her first client. (Laughter) And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. This I thought I could handle.第一次见面Alex穿着牛仔裤和宽松上衣走进来,她一下子栽进我办公室的沙发上,踢掉脚上的平底鞋,跟我说她想谈谈男生的问题。

当时我听到这个之后松了一口气。

因为我同学的第一个顾客是纵火犯,而我的顾客却是一个20出头想谈谈男生的女孩。

我觉得我可以搞定。

But I didn't handle it. With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road.但是我没有搞定。

TED演讲稿-20岁光阴不再(中英互译)

TED演讲稿-20岁光阴不再(中英互译)

When I was in my20s,I saw my very first psychotherapy client.I w as a Ph.D.student in clinical psychology at Berkeley.She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex.记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时,我才20多岁。

当时我是Berkeley临床心理学在读博士生。

我的第一位顾客是名叫Alex的女性,26岁。

Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slo uchy top,and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked o ff herflats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems.Now wh en I heard this,I was so relieved.My classmate got an arsonist f or herfirst client.(Laughter)And I got a twentysomething who wanted t otalk about boys.This I thought I could handle.第一次见面Alex穿着牛仔裤和宽松上衣走进来,她一下子栽进我办公室的沙发上,踢掉脚上的平底鞋,跟我说她想谈谈男生的问题。

当时我听到这个之后松了一口气。

因为我同学的第一个顾客是纵火犯,而我的顾客却是一个20出头想谈谈男生的女孩。

我觉得我可以搞定。

But I didn't handle it.With the funny stories that Alex would bri ng tosession,it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road.但是我没有搞定。

TED演讲20岁光阴不再来

TED演讲20岁光阴不再来

TED演讲20岁光阴不再来第一篇:TED演讲 20岁光阴不再来When I was in my 20s,I saw my very first psychotherapy(心理诊疗)client.I was a Ph.D.student in clinical psychology(临床心理学)at Berkeley.She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex.Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy(宽松的)top,and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems.Now when I heard this,I was so relieved.My classmate got an arsonist(纵火犯)for her first client.And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys.This I thought I could handle.But I didn't handle it.With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session,it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road.“Thirty's the new 20,”Alex would say,and as far as I could tell,she was right.Work happened later,marriage happened later,kids happened later,even death happened later.Twentysomethings like Alex and I had nothing but time.But before long,my supervisor(导师)pushed me to push Alex about her love life.I pushed back.I said,“Sure,she's dating down,”(她的对象很差劲)she's sleeping with a knucklehead(傻瓜),but it's not like she's going to marry the guy.“And then my supervisor said,”Not yet,but she might marry the next one.Besides,the best time to work on Alex's marriage is before she has one.(结婚之前)“That's what psychologists call an ”Aha!“moment(顿悟时刻).That was the moment I realized,30 is not the new 20.Yes,people settle down later than they used to,but that didn't make Alex's 20s a developmental downtime.(没错,现在人们结婚的年龄比以前大一些,但这并没有使Alex的20岁成为发展的搁浅期。

TED英语演讲稿:二十几岁不可挥霍的光阴

TED英语演讲稿:二十几岁不可挥霍的光阴

TED英语演讲稿:二十几岁不可挥霍的光阴wheniwasinmy20s,isawmyveryfirstpsychotherapyclient.iw asaph.d.studentinclinicalpsychologyatberkeley.shewasa 26-year-oldwomannamedalex.nowalexwalkedintoherfirstsessionwea ringjeansandabigslouchytop,andshedroppedontothecouchi nmyofficeandkickedoffherflatsandtoldmeshewastheretota lkaboutguyproblems.nowwheniheardthis,iwassorelieved.m yclassmategotanarsonistforherfirstclient.(laughter)an digotatwentysomethingwhowantedtotalkaboutboys.thisith oughticouldhandle.butididn’thandleit.withthefunnystoriesthatalexwouldb ringtosession,itwaseasyformejusttonodmyheadwhilewekic kedthecandowntheroad.”thirty’sthenew20,”alexwoulds ay,andasfarasicouldtell,shewasright.workhappenedlater ,marriagehappenedlater,kidshappenedlater,evendeathhap penedlater.twentysomethingslikealexandihadnothingbutt ime.butbeforelong,mysupervisorpushedmetopushalexaboutherl ovelife.ipushedback.isaid,”sure,she’sdatingdown,she’ssleepingwithaknuc klehead,butit’snotlikeshe’sgoingtomarrytheguy.”andthenmysupervisorsaid,”notyet,butshemightmarrythen extone.besides,thebesttimetoworkonalex’smarriageisbe foreshehasone.”that’swhatpsychologistscallan”aha!”moment.thatwast hemomentirealized,30isnotthenew20.yes,peoplesettledow nlaterthantheyusedto,butthatdidn’tmakealex’s20sadev elopmentaldowntime.thatmadealex’s20sadevelopmentalsw eetspot,andweweresittingthereblowingit.thatwaswhenire alizedthatthissortofbenignneglectwasarealproblem,andi thadrealconsequences,notjustforalexandherlovelifebutf orthecareersandthefamiliesandthefuturesoftwentysometh ingseverywhere.thereare50milliontwentysomethingsintheunitedstatesrig htnow.we’retalkingabout15percentofthepopulation,or10 0percentifyouconsiderthatnoone’sgettingthroughadulth oodwithoutgoingthroughtheir20sfirst.raiseyourhandifyou’reinyour20s.ireallywanttoseesomet wentysomethingshere.oh,yay!y’all’sawesome.ifyouwork withtwentysomethings,youloveatwentysomething,you’rel osingsleepovertwentysomethings,iwanttosee—okay.awesome,twentysomethingsreallymatter.soispecializeintwentysomethingsbecauseibelievethateve rysingleoneofthose50milliontwentysomethingsdeservesto knowwhatpsychologists,sociologists,neurologistsandfer tilityspecialistsalreadyknow:thatclaimingyour20sisone ofthesimplest,yetmosttransformative,thingsyoucandofor work,forlove,foryourhappiness,maybeevenfortheworld.thisisnotmyopinion.thesearethefacts.weknowthat80perce ntoflife’smostdefiningmomentstakeplacebyage35.thatmeansthateightoutof10ofthedecisionsandexperiencesand”a ha!”momentsthatmakeyourlifewhatitiswillhavehappenedb yyourmid-30s.peoplewhoareover40,don’tpanic.thiscrowdisgoingto befine,ithink.weknowthatthefirst10yearsofacareerhasan exponentialimpactonhowmuchmoneyyou’regoingtoearn.wek nowthatmorethanhalfofamericansaremarriedorarelivingwi thordatingtheirfuturepartnerby30.weknowthatthebrainca psoffitssecondandlastgrowthspurtinyour20sasitrewiresi tselfforadulthood,whichmeansthatwhateveritisyouwantto changeaboutyourself,nowisthetimetochangeit.weknowthat personalitychangesmoreduringyour20sthanatanyothertime inlife,andweknowthatfemalefertilitypeaksatage28,andth ingsgettrickyafterage35.soyour20sarethetimetoeducatey ourselfaboutyourbodyandyouroptions.sowhenwethinkaboutchilddevelopment,weallknowthatthefi rstfiveyearsareacriticalperiodforlanguageandattachmen tinthebrain.it’satimewhenyourordinary,day-to-daylifehasaninordinateimpactonwhoyouwillbecome.butwha twehearlessaboutisthatthere’ssuchathingasadultdevelo pment,andour20sarethatcriticalperiodofadultdevelopmen t.butthisisn’twhattwentysomethingsarehearing.newspaper stalkaboutthechangingtimetableofadulthood.researchers callthe20sanextendedadolescence.journalistscoinsillyn icknamesfortwentysomethingslike”twixters”and”kidul ts.”it’strue.asaculture,wehavetrivializedwhatisactu allythedefiningdecadeofadulthood.leonardbernsteinsaidthattoachievegreatthings,youneeda planandnotquiteenoughtime.isn’tthattrue?sowhatdoyout hinkhappenswhenyoupatatwentysomethingontheheadandyous ay,”youhave10extrayearstostartyourlife”?nothinghapp ens.youhaverobbedthatpersonofhisurgencyandambition,an dabsolutelynothinghappens.andtheneveryday,smart,interestingtwentysomethingslike youorlikeyoursonsanddaughterscomeintomyofficeandsayth ingslikethis:”iknowmyboyfriend’snogoodforme,butthis relationshipdoesn’tcount.i’mjustkillingtime.”orthe ysay,”everybodysaysaslongasigetstartedonacareerbythe timei’m30,i’llbefine.”butthenitstartstosoundlikethis:”my20sarealmostover,a ndihavenothingtoshowformyself.ihadabetterrésuméthedayafterigraduatedfromcollege.”andthenitstartstosoundlikethis:”datinginmy20swaslike musicalchairs.everybodywasrunningaroundandhavingfun,b utthensometimearound30itwaslikethemusicturnedoffandev erybodystartedsittingdown.ididn’twanttobetheonlyonel eftstandingup,sosometimesithinkimarriedmyhusbandbecau sehewastheclosestchairtomeat30.”wherearethetwentysomethingshere?donotdothat.okay,nowthatsoundsalittleflip,butmakenomistake,thesta kesareveryhigh.whenalothasbeenpushedtoyour30s,thereis enormousthirtysomethingpressuretojump-startacareer,pickacity,partnerup,andhavetwoorthreekidsinamuchshorterperiodoftime.manyofthesethingsareincom patible,andasresearchisjuststartingtoshow,simplyharde randmorestressfultodoallatonceinour30s.thepost-millennialmidlifecrisisisn’tbuyingaredsportscar.it’srealizingyoucan’thavethatcareeryounowwant.it’sreal izingyoucan’thavethatchildyounowwant,oryoucan’tgive yourchildasibling.toomanythirtysomethingsandfortysome thingslookatthemselves,andatme,sittingacrosstheroom,a ndsayabouttheir20s,”whatwasidoing?whatwasithinking?”iwanttochangewhattwentysomethingsaredoingandthinking.here’sastoryabouthowthatcango.it’sastoryaboutawoman namedemma.at25,emmacametomyofficebecauseshewas,inherw ords,havinganidentitycrisis.shesaidshethoughtshemight liketoworkinartorentertainment,butshehadn’tdecidedye t,soshe’dspentthelastfewyearswaitingtablesinstead.be causeitwascheaper,shelivedwithaboyfriendwhodisplayedh istempermorethanhisambition.andashardasher20swere,her earlylifehadbeenevenharder.sheoftencriedinoursessions ,butthenwouldcollectherselfbysaying,”youcan’tpickyo urfamily,butyoucanpickyourfriends.”welloneday,emmacomesinandshehangsherheadinherlap,ands hesobbedformostofthehour.she’djustboughtanewaddressb ook,andshe’dspentthemorningfillinginhermanycontacts, butthenshe’dbeenleftstaringatthatemptyblankthatcomes afterthewords”incaseofemergency,pleasecall....”shew asnearlyhystericalwhenshelookedatmeandsaid,”who’sgoingtobethereformeifigetinacarwreck?who’sgoingtotakec areofmeifihavecancer?”nowinthatmoment,ittookeverythingihadnottosay,”iwill.”butwhatemmaneededwasn’tsometherapistwhoreally,real lycared.emmaneededabetterlife,andiknewthiswasherchanc e.ihadlearnedtoomuchsinceifirstworkedwithalextojustsi ttherewhileemma’sdefiningdecadewentparadingby.sooverthenextweeksandmonths,itoldemmathreethingsthate verytwentysomething,maleorfemale,deservestohear.first,itoldemmatoforgetabouthavinganidentitycrisisand getsomeidentitycapital.bygetidentitycapital,imeandoso methingthataddsvaluetowhoyouare.dosomethingthat’sani nvestmentinwhoyoumightwanttobenext.ididn’tknowthefut ureofemma’scareer,andnooneknowsthefutureofwork,butid oknowthis:identitycapitalbegetsidentitycapital.sonowi sthetimeforthatcross-countryjob,thatinternship,thatstartupyouwanttotry.i’mnotdiscountingtwentysomethingexplorationhere,butiamd iscountingexplorationthat’snotsupposedtocount,which, bytheway,isnotexploration.that’sprocrastination.itol demmatoexploreworkandmakeitcount.second,itoldemmathattheurbantribeisoverrated.bestfrie ndsaregreatforgivingridestotheairport,buttwentysometh ingswhohuddletogetherwithlike-mindedpeerslimitwhotheyknow,whattheyknow,howtheythink ,howtheyspeak,andwheretheywork.thatnewpieceofcapital, thatnewpersontodatealmostalwayscomesfromoutsidetheinnercircle.newthingscomefromwhatarecalledourweakties,ou rfriendsoffriendsoffriends.soyes,halfoftwentysomethin gsareun-orunder-employed.buthalfaren’t,andweaktiesarehowyougetyourse lfintothatgroup.halfofnewjobsareneverposted,soreachin gouttoyourneighbor’sbossishowyougetthatun-postedjob.it’snotcheating.it’sthescienceofhowinform ationspreads.lastbutnotleast,emmabelievedthatyoucan’tpickyourfami ly,butyoucanpickyourfriends.nowthiswastrueforhergrowi ngup,butasatwentysomething,soonemmawouldpickherfamily whenshepartneredwithsomeoneandcreatedafamilyofherown. itoldemmathetimetostartpickingyourfamilyisnow.nowyoum aybethinkingthat30isactuallyabettertimetosettledownth an20,oreven25,andiagreewithyou.butgrabbingwhoeveryou ’relivingwithorsleepingwithwheneveryoneonfacebooksta rtswalkingdowntheaisleisnotprogress.thebesttimetowork onyourmarriageisbeforeyouhaveone,andthatmeansbeingasi ntentionalwithloveasyouarewithwork.pickingyourfamilyi saboutconsciouslychoosingwhoandwhatyouwantratherthanj ustmakingitworkorkillingtimewithwhoeverhappenstobecho osingyou.sowhathappenedtoemma?well,wewentthroughthataddressboo k,andshefoundanoldroommate’scousinwhoworkedatanartmu seuminanotherstate.thatweaktiehelpedhergetajobthere.t hatjoboffergaveherthereasontoleavethatlive-inboyfriend.now,fiveyearslater,she’saspecialeventspl annerformuseums.she’smarriedtoamanshemindfullychose. sheloveshernewcareer,sheloveshernewfamily,andshesentmeacardthatsaid,”nowtheemergencycontactblanksdon’tse embigenough.”nowemma’sstorymadethatsoundeasy,butthat’swhatilovea boutworkingwithtwentysomethings.theyaresoeasytohelp.t wentysomethingsarelikeairplanesjustleavinglax,boundfo rsomewherewest.rightaftertakeoff,aslightchangeincours eisthedifferencebetweenlandinginalaskaorfiji.likewise ,at21or25oreven29,onegoodconversation,onegoodbreak,on egoodtedtalk,canhaveanenormouseffectacrossyearsandeve ngenerationstocome.sohere’sanideaworthspreadingtoeverytwentysomethingyo uknow.it’sassimpleaswhatilearnedtosaytoalex.it’swha tinowhavetheprivilegeofsayingtotwentysomethingslikeem maeverysingleday:thirtyisnotthenew20,soclaimyouradult hood,getsomeidentitycapital,useyourweakties,pickyourf amily.don’tbedefinedbywhatyoudidn’tknowordidn’tdo. you’redecidingyourliferightnow.thankyou.(applause) 译文、记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时,我才20多岁。

TED演讲之Twentysomething20岁的事

TED演讲之Twentysomething20岁的事

Twentysomethings----Meg Jay When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapy client. I was a Ph.D.student in clinical psychology at Berkeley. She was a 26-year-old-woman named Alex. Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. Now when I heard this, I was so relieved. My classmate got an arsonist for her first client. And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. This I thought I could handle. But I didn’t handle it. With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road. “Thirty’s the new 20,”Alex would say, and as far as I could tell, she was right. Work happened later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later. Twentysomethings like Alex and I had nothing buttime. But before long, my supervisor pushed me to push Alex about her love life. I pushed back. I said, “Sure, she’s dating down, she’s sleeping with a knucklehead, but it’s not like she’s going to marry the guy.”And then my supervisor said, “Not yet, but she might marry the next one.”Besides, the best time to work on Alex’s marriage is before she has one.”That’s what psychologists call an “Aha!”moment. That was the moment I realized, 30 is not the new 20. Yes, people settle down later than they used to, but that didn’t make Alex’s 20s a developmental downtime. That made Alex’s 20s a developmental sweet spot, and we were sitting there blowing it. That was when I realized that this sort of benign neglect was a real problem, and it had real consequences, not just for Alex and her love life but for the careers and the families and the futures of twentysomethings everywhere. There are 50 million twentysomethings in the United States right now. we’re talking about 15 percent of the population, or 100 percent if you consider that no one’s getting through adulthood without going through their 20s first. Raise your handif you’re in your 20s. I really want to see some twentysomething here. Oh, yay! Y’all’s awesome. If you work with twentysomethings, you love a twentysomething, you’re losing sleep over twentysomethings, I want to see-Okay. Awesome, twentysomethings really matter. So I specialize in twentysomethings because I believe that every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists, sociologists neurologists and fertility specialists already know: that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest, yet most transformative, things you can do for work, for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the world. This is not my opinion. These are the facts. We know that 80 percent of life’s most defining moments take place by age 35. That means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and experiences and “Aha!”moments that make your life what it is will have happened by your mid-30s. people who are over 40, don’t panic. This crowd is going to be fine, I think. We know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money you’re going to earn. We know thatmore than half of Americans are marries or are living with or dating their future partner by 30. We know that the brain caps off its second and last growth spurt in your 20s as it rewires itself for adulthood, which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the time to change it. We know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life, and we know that female fertility peaks at age 28, and things get tricky after age 35. So your 20s are the time to educate yourself about your body and your options. So when we think about child development, we all know that the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment in the brain. It’s a time when your ordinary, day-to-day life has an inordinate impact on who you will become. But what we hear less about is that there’s such a thing as adult development, and our 20s are that critical period of adult development. But this isn’t what twentysomethings are hearing. Newspapers talk about the changing timetable of adulthood. Researchers call the 20s an extended adolescence. Journalists coin silly nicknames for twentysomethings like “twixters”and“kidults”. It’s true. As a culture, we have trivialized what is actually the defining decade of adulthood. Leonard Bernstein said that to achieve great things, you need a plan and not quite enough time. Isn’t that true? So what do you think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say, “You have 10 extra years to start your life”? Nothing happens. You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens. And then every day, smart, interesting twentysomethings like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this: “I know my boyfriend’s no good for me, but this relationship doesn’t count. I’m just killing time.”Or they say, “Everybody says as long as I get started on a career by the time I’m 30, I’ll be fine.”But then it starts to sound like this: “My 20s are almost over, and I have nothing to show for myself. I had a better resume the day after I graduated from college.”And then it starts to sound like this: “Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs. Everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned offand everybody started sitting down. I didn’t want to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes I think I married my husband because he was the closest chair to me at 30.”Where are the twentysomethings here? Do not do that. Okay, now that sounds a little flip, but make no mistake, the stakes are very high. When a lot has been pushed to your 30s, there is enormous thirtysomething pressure to junp-start a career, pick a city, partner up, and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time. Many of these things are incompatible, and as research is just starting to show, simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s. The post-millennial midlife crisis isn’t buying a red sports car. It’s realizing you can’t have that career you now want. It’s realizing you can’t have that child you now want, or you can’t give your child a sibling. Too many thirtysomethings and fortysomethings look at themselves, and at me, sitting across the room, and say about their 20s, “What was I doing? What was I thinking?”I want to change what twentysomethings are doing and thinking. Here’s a story about how that can go. It’s a story about awoman named Emma. At 25, Emma came to my office because she was, in her words, having an identity crisis. She said she thought she might like to work I art or entertainment, but she hadn’t decided yet, so she’d spent the last few years waiting tables instead. Because it was cheaper, she lived with a boyfriend who displayed his temper more than his ambition. And as hard as her 20s were, her early life had been even harder. She often cried in our sessions, but then would collect herself by saying, “You can’t pick your family, but you can pick your friends.”Well one day, Emma comes in and she hangs her head in her lap, and she sobbed for most of the hour. She’d just bought a new address book, and she’d spent the morning filling in her many contacts, but then she’d been left staring at that empty blank that comes after the words “In case of emergency, please call….”She was nearly hysterical when she looked at me and said, “Who’s going to be there for me if I get in a car wreck? Who’s going to take care of me if I have cancer?”Now in that moment, it took everything I had not to say, “I will.”But what Emma needed wasn’t some therapistwho really, really cared. Emma needed a better life, and I knew this was her chance. I had learned too much since I first worked with Alex to just sit there while Emma’s defining decade went parading by. So over the next weeks and months, I told Emma there things that every twentysomething, male or female, deserves to hear. First, I told Emma to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital. By get identity capital, I mean do something that adds value to who you are. Do something that’s an investment in who you might want to be next. I didn’t know the future of Emma’s career, and no one knows the future of work, but I do know this: Identity capital begets identity capital. So now is the time for that cross-country job, that internship, that startup you want to try. I’m not discounting twentysomething exploration here, but I am discounting exploration that’s not supposed to count, which, by the way, is not exploration. That’s procrastination. I told Emma to explore work and make it count. Second, I told Emma that the urban tribe is overrated. Best friends are great for giving rides to the airport, but twentysomethingswho huddle together with like-minded peers limit who they know, what they know, how they think, how they speak, and where they work. That new piece of capital, that new person to date almost always comes from outside the inner circle. New things come from what are called our weak ties, our friends of friends of friends. So yes, half of twentysomethings are un- or under-employed. But half aren’t, and weak ties are how you get yourself into that group. Half of new jobs are never posted, so reaching out to your neighbor’s boss is how you get that un-posted job. It’s not cheating. It’s the science of how information spreads. Last but not least, Emma believed that you can’t pick your family, but you can pick your friends. Now this was true for her growing up, but as a twentysomething, soon Emma would pick her family when she partnered with someone and created a family of her own. I told Emma the time to start picking your family is now. now you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle down than 20, or even 25,and I agree with you. But grabbing whoever you’re living with or sleeping with when everyone onFacebook starts walking down the aisle is not progress. The best time to work on your marriage is before you have one, and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work. Picking your family is about consciously choosing who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you. So what happened to Emma? Well, we went through that address book, and she found an old roommate’s cousin who worked at an art museum in another state. That weak tie helped her get a job there. That job offer gave her the reason to leave that live-in boyfriend. Now, five years later, she’s special events planner for museums. She’s married to a man she mindfully chose. She loves her new career, she loves her new family, and she sent me a card that said, “Now the emergency contact blanks don’t seem big enough.”Now Emma’s story made that sound easy, but that’s what I love about working with twentysomethings. They are so easy to help. Twentysomethings are like airplanes just leaving LAX, bound for somewhere west. Right after takeoff, a slight change in course is the difference between landing in,.Alaska or Fiji. Likewise, at 21 or 25 or even 29, one good conversation, one good break, one good TED Talk, can have an enormous effect across years and even generations to come. So here’s an idea worth spreading to every twentysomething you know. It’s as simple as what I learned to say to Alex. It’s what I now have the privilege of saying to twentysomethings like Emma every single day: Thirty is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties, pick your family. Don’t be defined by what you didn’t know or didn’t do. You’re deciding your life right now.Thank you!。

TED英语演讲稿 二十岁是不可以挥霍的光阴3

TED英语演讲稿 二十岁是不可以挥霍的光阴3

TED英语演讲稿二十岁是不可以挥霍的光阴(4)TED英语演讲稿:二十岁是不可以挥霍的光阴So over the next weeks and months, I told Emma three things that every twentysomething, male or female, deserves to hear.所以接下去的几个星期几个月,我告诉Emma三件事,所有20多岁的男生女生都值得听一听。

First, I told Emma to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital. By get identity capital, I mean do something that adds value to who you are. Do something that's an investment in who you might want to be next.首先,我告诉Emma忘掉她的自我认识危机,去获得一些身份认定的资本。

身份资本是指做增加自我价值的事。

为自己下一步想成为的样子做一些事一些投资。

I didn't know the future of Emma's career, and no one knows the future of work, but I do know this: Identity capital begets identity capital. So now is the time forthat cross-country job, that internship, that startup you want to try.我不知道Emma的工作将来是什么样的,也没人知道将来的工作是什么样的,但是我知道:身份资本会创造出更多身份资本。

TED演讲稿-20岁光阴不再(中英互译)

TED演讲稿-20岁光阴不再(中英互译)

When I was in my20s,I saw my very first psychotherapy client.I was a Ph.D.student in clinical psychology at Berkeley.She was a26-year-old woman named Alex.记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时,我才20多岁。

当时我是Berkeley临床心理学在读博士生。

我的第一位顾客是名叫Alex的女性,26岁。

Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top,and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems.Now when I heard this,I was so relieved.My classmate got an arsonist for her first client.(Laughter)And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys.This I thought I could handle.第一次见面Alex穿着牛仔裤和宽松上衣走进来,她一下子栽进我办公室的沙发上,踢掉脚上的平底鞋,跟我说她想谈谈男生的问题。

当时我听到这个之后松了一口气。

因为我同学的第一个顾客是纵火犯,而我的顾客却是一个20出头想谈谈男生的女孩。

我觉得我可以搞定。

But I didn't handle it.With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session,it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road.但是我没有搞定。

TED演讲的英文范文

TED演讲的英文范文

TED演讲的英文范文TED演讲的英文范文20岁光阴不再来When I was in my 20s,I saw my very first psychotherapy(心理诊疗) client.I was a Ph.D. student in clinical psychology(临床心理学) at Berkeley.She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex.Now Alex walked into her first sessionwearing jeans and a big slouchy(宽松的) top,and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems.Now when I heard this,I was so relieved.My classmate got anarsonist(纵火犯) for her first client.And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. This I thought I could handle.But I didn't handle it.With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session,it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road."Thirty's the new 20,"Alex would say,and as far as I could tell,she was right.Work happened later,marriage happened later,kids happened later,even death happenedlater.Twentysomethings like Alex and I had nothing but time.But beforelong,my supervisor(导师) pushed me to push Alex about her love life.I pushed back.I said,"Sure,she's dating down,"(她的对象很差劲) she's sleeping with a knucklehead(傻瓜),but it's not like she's going to marry the guy."And then my supervisor said,"Not yet,but she might marry the next one.Besides,the best time to work on Alex's marriage is before she has one.(结婚之前)"That's what psychologists call an "Aha!"moment(顿悟时刻).That was the moment I realized,30 is not the new 20.Yes,people settle downlater than they used to,but that didn't make Alex's 20s a developmental downtime.(没错,现在人们结婚的年龄比以前大一些,但这并没有使Alex的20岁成为发展的搁浅期。

TED英语演讲稿:二十几岁不可挥霍的光阴(附翻译)演讲稿.doc

TED英语演讲稿:二十几岁不可挥霍的光阴(附翻译)演讲稿.doc

TED英语演讲稿:二十几岁不可挥霍的光阴(附翻译)_演讲稿when i was in my 20s, i saw my very first psychotherapy client. i was a ph.d. student in clinical psychology at berkeley. she was a 26-year-old woman named alex. now alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. now when i heard this, i was so relieved. my classmate got an arsonist for her first client. (laughter) and i got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. this i thought i could handle.but i didn’t handle it. with the funny stories that alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road. “thirty’s the new20,” alex would say, and as far as i could tell, she was right. work happened later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later. twentysomethings like alex and i had nothing but time.but before long, my supervisor pushed me to push alex about her love life. i pushed back.i said, “sure, she’s dating down, she’s sleeping with a knucklehead, but it’s not like she’s going to marry the guy.”and then my supervisor said, “not yet, but she might marry the next one. besides, the best time to work on alex’s marriage is before she has one.”that’s what psychologists call an “aha!” moment. that was the moment i realized, 30 is not the new 20. yes, people settle down later than they used to, but that didn’t make alex’s 20s a d evelopmental downtime. that made alex’s 20s a developmental sweet spot, and we were sitting there blowing it. that was when i realized that this sort of benign neglect was a real problem, and it had real consequences, not just for alex and her love life but for the careers and the families and the futures of twentysomethings everywhere.there are 50 million twentysomethings in the united states right now. we’re talking about 15 percent of the population, or 100 percent if you consider that no one’s getti ng through adulthood without going through their 20s first.raise your hand if you’re in your 20s. i really want to see some twentysomethings here. oh, yay! y’all’s awesome. if you work with twentysomethings, you love a twentysomething, you’re losing sleep over twentysomethings, i want to see —okay. awesome, twentysomethings really matter.so i specialize in twentysomethings because i believe that every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists, sociologists, neurologists and fertilityspecialists already know: that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest, yet most transformative, things you can do for work, for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the world.this is not my opinion. these are the facts. we know that 80 percent of life’s most defining moments take place by age 35. that means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and experiences and “aha!” moments that make your life what it is will have happened by your mid-30s. people who are over 40, d on’t panic. this crowd is going to be fine, i think. we know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money you’re going to earn. we know that more than half of americans are married or are living with or dating their future partner by 30. we know that the brain caps off its second and last growth spurt in your 20s as it rewires itself for adulthood, which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the time to change it. we know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life, and we know that female fertility peaks at age 28, and things get tricky after age 35. so your 20s are the time to educate yourself about your body and your options.so when we think about child development, we all know that the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment in the brain. it’s a time when your ordinary, day-to-day life has an inordinate impact on who you will become. but what we hear less about is that there’s s uch a thing as adult development, and our 20s are that critical period of adult development.but this isn’t what twentysomethings are hearing. newspapers talk about the changing timetable of adulthood. researchers call the 20s an extended adolescence. journalists coin silly nicknames for twentysomethings like “twixters” and “kidults.” it’s true. as a culture, we have trivialized what is actually the defining decade of adulthood.leonard bernstein said that to achieve great things, you need a plan and not quite enough time. isn’t that true? so what do you think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say, “you have 10 extra years to start your life”? nothing happens. you have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens.and then every day, smart, interesting twentysomethings like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this: “i know my boyfriend’s no good for me, but this relationship doesn’t count. i’m just killing time.” or they say, “everybody says as long as i get started on a career by the time i’m 30, i’ll be fine.”but then it starts to sound like this: “my 20s are almost over, and i have nothing to show for myself. i had a better résuméthe day after i graduated from college.”and then it starts to sound like this: “dating in my 20s was like musical chairs. everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off andeverybody started sitting down. i di dn’t want to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes i think i married my husband because he was the closest chair to me at 30.”where are the twentysomethings here? do not do that.okay, now that sounds a little flip, but make no mistake, the stakes are very high. when a lot has been pushed to your 30s, there is enormous thirtysomething pressure to jump-start a career, pick a city, partner up, and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time. many of these things are incompatible, and as research is just starting to show, simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s.the post-millennial midlife crisis isn’t buying a red sports car. it’s realizing you can’t have that career you now want. it’s realizing you can’t have that child you now want, or you can’t give your child a sibling. too many thirtysomethings and fortysomethings look at themselves, and at me, sitting across the room, and say about their 20s, “what was i doing? what was i thinking?”i want to change what twentysomethings are doing and thinking.here’s a story about how that can go. it’s a story about a woman named emma. at 25, emma came to my office because she was, in her words, having an identity crisis. she said she thought she might like to wor k in art or entertainment, but she hadn’t decided yet, so she’d spent the last few years waiting tables instead. because itwas cheaper, she lived with a boyfriend who displayed his temper more than his ambition. and as hard as her 20s were, her early life had been even harder. she often cried in our sessions, but then would collect herself by saying, “you can’t pick your family, but you can pick your friends.”well one day, emma comes in and she hangs her head in her lap, and she sobbed for most of the hour. she’d just bought a new address book, and she’d spent the morning filling in her many contacts, but then she’d been left staring at that empty blank that comes after the words “in case of emergency, please call ... .” she was nearly hysterical when s he looked at me and said, “who’s going to be there for me if i get in a car wreck? who’s going to take care of me if i have cancer?”now in that moment, it took everything i had not to say, “i will.” but what emma needed wasn’t some therapist who really, really cared. emma needed a better life, and i knew this was her chance. i had learned too much since i first worked with alex to just sit there while emma’s defining decade went parading by.so over the next weeks and months, i told emma three things that every twentysomething, male or female, deserves to hear.first, i told emma to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital. by get identity capital, i mean do something that adds value to who you are. do something that’s a n investment in who you might want to be next. i didn’t know thefuture of emma’s career, and no one knows the future of work, but i do know this: identity capital begets identity capital. so now is the time for that cross-country job, that internship, that startup you want to try. i’m not discounting twentysomething exploration here, but i am discounting exploration that’s not supposed to count, which, by the way, is not exploration. that’s procrastination. i told emma to explore work and make it count.second, i told emma that the urban tribe is overrated. best friends are great for giving rides to the airport, but twentysomethings who huddle together with like-minded peers limit who they know, what they know, how they think, how they speak, and where they work. that new piece of capital, that new person to date almost always comes from outside the inner circle. new things come from what are called our weak ties, our friends of friends of friends. so yes, half of twentysomethings are un- or under-employe d. but half aren’t, and weak ties are how you get yourself into that group. half of new jobs are never posted, so reaching out to your neighbor’s boss is how you get that un-posted job. it’s not cheating. it’s the science of how information spreads.las t but not least, emma believed that you can’t pick your family, but you can pick your friends. now this was true for her growing up, but as a twentysomething, soon emma would pick her family when she partnered with someone and created a family of her own. i told emma the time to start picking your family is now. now you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle downthan 20, or even 25, and i agree with you. but grabbing whoever you’re living with or sleeping with when everyone on facebook starts walking down the aisle is not progress. the best time to work on your marriage is before you have one, and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work. picking your family is about consciously choosing who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you.so what happened to emma? well, we went through that address book, and she found an old roommate’s cousin who worked at an art museum in another state. that weak tie helped her get a job there. that job offer gave her the reason to leave that live-in boyfriend. now, five years later, she’s a special events planner for museums. she’s married to a man she mindfully chose. she loves her new career, she loves her new family, and she sent me a card that said, “now the emergency contact blanks don’t seem big enough.”now emma’s story made that sound easy, but that’s what i love about working with twentysomethings. they are so easy to help. twentysomethings are like airplanes just leaving lax, bound for somewhere west. right after takeoff, a slight change in course is the difference between landing in alaska or fiji. likewise, at 21 or 25 or even 29, one good conversation, one good break, one good ted talk, can have an enormous effect across years and even generations to come.so here’s an idea worth spreading to everytwentysomething you know. it’s as simple as what i learned to say to alex. it’s what i now have the privilege of saying to twentysomethings like emma every single day: thirty is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties, pick your family. don’t be defined by what you didn’t know or didn’t do. you’re deciding your life right now. thank you. (applause)译文:记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时,我才20多岁。

最新ted演讲稿20岁光阴不再(中英互译)资料

最新ted演讲稿20岁光阴不再(中英互译)资料

When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapy client. I was a Ph.D. student in clinical psychology at Berkeley. She was a26-year-old woman named Alex.记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时,我才20多岁。

当时我是Berkeley临床心理学在读博士生。

我的第一位顾客是名叫Alex的女性,26岁。

Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. Now when I heard this, I was so relieved. My classmate got an arsonist for her first client. (Laughter) And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. This I thought I could handle.第一次见面Alex穿着牛仔裤和宽松上衣走进来,她一下子栽进我办公室的沙发上,踢掉脚上的平底鞋,跟我说她想谈谈男生的问题。

当时我听到这个之后松了一口气。

因为我同学的第一个顾客是纵火犯,而我的顾客却是一个20出头想谈谈男生的女孩。

我觉得我可以搞定。

But I didn't handle it. With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked thecan down the road.但是我没有搞定。

TED演讲稿-20岁光阴不再(中英互译)

TED演讲稿-20岁光阴不再(中英互译)

When I was in my20s,I saw my very first psychotherapy client.I w as a Ph.D.student in clinical psychology at Berkeley.She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex.记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时,我才20多岁。

当时我是Berkeley临床心理学在读博士生。

我的第一位顾客是名叫Alex的女性,26岁。

Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slo uchy top,and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked o ff herflats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems.Now wh en I heard this,I was so relieved.My classmate got an arsonist f or herfirst client.(Laughter)And I got a twentysomething who wanted t otalk about boys.This I thought I could handle.第一次见面Alex穿着牛仔裤和宽松上衣走进来,她一下子栽进我办公室的沙发上,踢掉脚上的平底鞋,跟我说她想谈谈男生的问题。

当时我听到这个之后松了一口气。

因为我同学的第一个顾客是纵火犯,而我的顾客却是一个20出头想谈谈男生的女孩。

我觉得我可以搞定。

But I didn't handle it.With the funny stories that Alex would bri ng tosession,it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road.但是我没有搞定。

(完整版)TED演讲稿-20岁光阴不再(中英互译)

(完整版)TED演讲稿-20岁光阴不再(中英互译)

When I was in my20s,I saw my very first psychotherapy client.I was a Ph.D.student in clinical psychology at Berkeley.She was a26-year-old woman named Alex.记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时,我才20多岁。

当时我是Berkeley临床心理学在读博士生。

我的第一位顾客是名叫Alex的女性,26岁。

Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top,and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems.Now when I heard this,I was so relieved.My classmate got an arsonist for her first client.(Laughter)And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys.This I thought I could handle.第一次见面Alex穿着牛仔裤和宽松上衣走进来,她一下子栽进我办公室的沙发上,踢掉脚上的平底鞋,跟我说她想谈谈男生的问题。

当时我听到这个之后松了一口气。

因为我同学的第一个顾客是纵火犯,而我的顾客却是一个20出头想谈谈男生的女孩。

我觉得我可以搞定。

But I didn't handle it.With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session,it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road.但是我没有搞定。

感动人心的TED英语演讲稿:二十岁,这些话对你很重要

感动人心的TED英语演讲稿:二十岁,这些话对你很重要

感动人心的TED英语演讲稿:二十岁,这些话对你很重要Dear all,Today, I want to talk about something that is very close to our hearts- being twenty years old. For most of us, it is a phase in our lives where we undergo a lot of changes, challenges, and experiences that shape us for the rest of our lives. It is a time when we start making decisions thataffect our future, and the choices we make can impact therest of our lives. So, what are the things that are important to know when we are twenty?Firstly, it is important to understand that success is not an overnight phenomenon. We live in a world where social media platforms showcase success stories that make us believe that success is easy to achieve. However, every successful person has put in a lot of hard work and dedication towards their goals. It is essential to set realistic and achievable goals for ourselves and work towards them with determination and perseverance.Secondly, it is important to acknowledge that failure is a part of life. Most of us are afraid of failing, but it isinevitable. We learn from our failures, and it helps us become better, and stronger individuals. Failing does not make us weak; in fact, it makes us more resilient and determined towards our goals.Thirdly, it is important to cherish our relationships, family, and friends. They are our support system, and they will be there for us when we need them the most. Be grateful for the people in your life, and take out time for them. Nurture your relationships and give them the love and care that they deserve.Fourthly, it is important to find your passion and pursue it with all your heart. It is not easy to decide what you want to do with your life, but it is important to listen to your heart and follow your dreams. Do not let societal norms or family pressure dictate your choices. Pursue what makes you happy and fulfilled.Lastly, it is important to take care of your physical and mental well-being. Our bodies and minds are interconnected.It is essential to eat healthy, exercise regularly, and take out time for self-care. Mental health is equally important, and we should not hesitate to seek help when needed.In conclusion, being twenty can be overwhelming, but itis also a time to discover ourselves, learn, and grow. Lifeis a journey, and it is up to us to make it a memorable one. Remember, success is not the key to happiness, but happinessis the key to success. So, live life with a positive attitude, be kind, and never stop learning.Thank you.。

TED英语演讲稿:二十几岁不可挥霍的光阴(附翻译)

TED英语演讲稿:二十几岁不可挥霍的光阴(附翻译)

TED英语演讲稿:二十几岁不可挥霍的光阴(附翻译)when i was in my 20s, i saw my very first psychotherapy client. i was a ph.d. student in clinical psychology at berkeley. she was a 26-year-old woman named alex. now alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. now when i heard this, i was so relieved. my classmate got an arsonist for her first client. (laughter) and i got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. this i thought i could handle.but i didn't handle it. with the funny stories that alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road. "thirty's the new 20," alex would say, and as far as i could tell, she was right. work happened later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later. twentysomethings like alex and i had nothing but time.but before long, my supervisor pushed me to push alex about her love life. i pushed back.i said, "sure, she's dating down, she's sleeping with a knucklehead,but it's not like she's going to marry the guy."and then my supervisor said, "not yet, but she might marry the next one. besides, the best time to work on alex's marriage is before she has one."that's what psychologists call an "aha!" moment. that was the moment i realized, 30 is not the new 20. yes, people settle down later than they used to, but that didn't make alex's 20s a developmental downtime. that made alex's 20s a developmental sweet spot, and we were sitting there blowing it. that was when i realized that this sort of benign neglect was a real problem, and it had real consequences, not just for alex and her love life but for the careers and the families and the futures of twentysomethings everywhere.there are 50 million twentysomethings in the united states right now. we're talking about 15 percent of the population, or 100 percent if you consider that no one's getting through adulthood without going through their 20s first.raise your hand if you're in your 20s. i really want to see some twentysomethings here. oh, yay! y'all's awesome. if you work withtwentysomethings, you love a twentysomething, you're losing sleep over twentysomethings, i want to see —okay. awesome, twentysomethings really matter.so i specialize in twentysomethings because i believe that every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists, sociologists, neurologists and fertility specialists already know: that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest, yet most transformative, things you can do for work, for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the world.this is not my opinion. these are the facts. we know that 80 percent of life's most defining moments take place by age 35. that means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and experiences and "aha!" moments that make your life what it is will have happened by your mid-30s. people who are over 40, don't panic. this crowd is going to be fine, i think. we know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money you're going to earn. we know that more than half of americans are married or are living with or dating their future partner by 30. we know that the brain caps off its second and lastgrowth spurt in your 20s as it rewires itself for adulthood, which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the time to change it. we know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life, and we know that female fertility peaks at age 28, and things get tricky after age 35. so your 20s are the time to educate yourself about your body and your options.so when we think about child development, we all know that the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment in the brain. it's a time when your ordinary, day-to-day life has an inordinate impact on who you will become. but what we hear less about is that there's such a thing as adult development, and our 20s are that critical period of adult development.but this isn't what twentysomethings are hearing. newspapers talk about the changing timetable of adulthood. researchers call the 20s an extended adolescence. journalists coin silly nicknames for twentysomethings like "twixters" and "kidults." it's true. as a culture, we have trivialized what is actually the defining decade of adulthood.leonard bernstein said that to achieve great things, you need a planand not quite enough time. isn't that true? so what do you think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say, "you have 10 extra years to start your life"? nothing happens. you have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens.and then every day, smart, interesting twentysomethings like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this: "i know my boyfriend's no good for me, but this relationship doesn't count. i'm just killing time." or they say, "everybody says as long as i get started on a career by the time i'm 30, i'll be fine."but then it starts to sound like this: "my 20s are almost over, and i have nothing to show for myself. i had a better résuméthe day after i graduated from college."and then it starts to sound like this: "dating in my 20s was like musical chairs. everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down. i didn't want to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes i think i married my husband because he was the closestchair to me at 30."where are the twentysomethings here? do not do that.okay, now that sounds a little flip, but make no mistake, the stakes are very high. when a lot has been pushed to your 30s, there is enormous thirtysomething pressure to jump-start a career, pick a city, partner up, and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time. many of these things are incompatible, and as research is just starting to show, simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s.the post-millennial midlife crisis isn't buying a red sports car. it's realizing you can't have that career you now want. it's realizing you can't have that child you now want, or you can't give your child a sibling. too many thirtysomethings and fortysomethings look at themselves, and at me, sitting across the room, and say about their 20s, "what was i doing? what was i thinking?"i want to change what twentysomethings are doing and thinking.here's a story about how that can go. it's a story about a woman named emma. at 25, emma came to my office because she was, in her words, having an identity crisis. she said she thought she might like towork in art or entertainment, but she hadn't decided yet, so she'd spent the last few years waiting tables instead. because it was cheaper, she lived with a boyfriend who displayed his temper more than his ambition. and as hard as her 20s were, her early life had been even harder. she often cried in our sessions, but then would collect herself by saying, "you can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends."well one day, emma comes in and she hangs her head in her lap, and she sobbed for most of the hour. she'd just bought a new address book, and she'd spent the morning filling in her many contacts, but then she'd been left staring at that empty blank that comes after the words "in case of emergency, please call ... ." she was nearly hysterical when she looked at me and said, "who's going to be there for me if i get in a car wreck? who's going to take care of me if i have cancer?"now in that moment, it took everything i had not to say, "i will." but what emma needed wasn't some therapist who really, really cared. emma needed a better life, and i knew this was her chance. i had learned too much since i first worked with alex to just sit there while emma's defining decade went parading by.so over the next weeks and months, i told emma three things that every twentysomething, male or female, deserves to hear.first, i told emma to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital. by get identity capital, i mean do something that adds value to who you are. do something that's an investment in who you might want to be next. i didn't know the future of emma's career, and no one knows the future of work, but i do know this: identity capital begets identity capital. so now is the time for that cross-country job, that internship, that startup you want to try. i'm not discounting twentysomething exploration here, but i am discounting exploration that's not supposed to count, which, by the way, is not exploration. that's procrastination. i told emma to explore work and make it count.second, i told emma that the urban tribe is overrated. best friends are great for giving rides to the airport, but twentysomethings who huddle together with like-minded peers limit who they know, what they know, how they think, how they speak, and where they work. that new piece of capital, that new person to date almost always comes from outside the inner circle. new things come from what are called our weakties, our friends of friends of friends. so yes, half of twentysomethings are un- or under-employed. but half aren't, and weak ties are how you get yourself into that group. half of new jobs are never posted, so reaching out to your neighbor's boss is how you get that un-posted job. it's not cheating. it's the science of how information spreads.last but not least, emma believed that you can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends. now this was true for her growing up, but as a twentysomething, soon emma would pick her family when she partnered with someone and created a family of her own. i told emma the time to start picking your family is now. now you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle down than 20, or even 25, and i agree with you. but grabbing whoever you're living with or sleeping with when everyone on facebook starts walking down the aisle is not progress. the best time to work on your marriage is before you have one, and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work. picking your family is about consciously choosing who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you.so what happened to emma? well, we went through that address book, and she found an old roommate's cousin who worked at an art museum in another state. that weak tie helped her get a job there. that job offer gave her the reason to leave that live-in boyfriend. now, five years later, she's a special events planner for museums. she's married to a man she mindfully chose. she loves her new career, she loves her new family, and she sent me a card that said, "now the emergency contact blanks don't seem big enough."now emma's story made that sound easy, but that's what i love about working with twentysomethings. they are so easy to help. twentysomethings are like airplanes just leaving lax, bound for somewhere west. right after takeoff, a slight change in course is the difference between landing in alaska or fiji. likewise, at 21 or 25 or even 29, one good conversation, one good break, one good ted talk, can have an enormous effect across years and even generations to come.so here's an idea worth spreading to every twentysomething you know. it's as simple as what i learned to say to alex. it's what i now have the privilege of saying to twentysomethings like emma every single day:thirty is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties, pick your family. don't be defined by what you didn't know or didn't do. you're deciding your life right now. thank you. (applause)译文:记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时,我才20多岁。

2021年TED英语演讲稿 二十岁是不可以挥霍的光阴(3)

2021年TED英语演讲稿 二十岁是不可以挥霍的光阴(3)

TED英语演讲稿二十岁是不可以挥霍的光阴(3) TED英语演讲稿: ___岁是不可以挥霍的光阴But then it starts to sound like this: "My 20s are almost over, and I have nothing to show for myself. I had a better résumé the day after I graduated from college." And then it starts to sound like this: "Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs. Everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down.但是实际听上去却是:“我马上就要三十了,却根本就没有东西展示。

我只是在大学毕业时有过一份最漂亮的。

”或是这样:“我20多岁时的约会就像找凳子。

每个人都绕着凳子跑,随便玩一玩,但是快30的时候就像音乐停止了,所有人开始坐下。

I didn't want to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes I think I ___rried my hu ___and because he was the closest chair to me at 30." Where are the twentysomethings here? Do not do that. Okay, now that sounds a little flip, but ___ke no mistake, the stakes are very high.我不想成为那唯一站着的人,所以有时候我会想我和我丈夫之所以会结婚,是因为在我30岁的时候,他是当时离我最近的那张凳子。

TED演讲稿-20岁光阴不再(中英互译)

TED演讲稿-20岁光阴不再(中英互译)

When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapy client. I wa s a Ph.D。

student in clinical psychology at Berkeley。

She was a26-year-old woman named Alex。

记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时,我才20多岁。

当时我是Berkeley临床心理学在读博士生.我的第一位顾客是名叫Alex的女性,26岁。

Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems。

Now whe n I heard this, I was so relieved. My classmate got an arsonist for her first client. (Laughter) And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. This I thought I could handle。

第一次见面Alex穿着牛仔裤和宽松上衣走进来,她一下子栽进我办公室的沙发上,踢掉脚上的平底鞋,跟我说她想谈谈男生的问题.当时我听到这个之后松了一口气。

因为我同学的第一个顾客是纵火犯,而我的顾客却是一个20出头想谈谈男生的女孩。

我觉得我可以搞定。

But I didn't handle it。

With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road。

TED演讲:20岁,不可挥霍的光阴双语

TED演讲:20岁,不可挥霍的光阴双语

TED演讲:20岁,不可挥霍的光阴双语这是一篇由网络搜集整理的关于TED演讲:20岁,不可挥霍的光阴(双语)的文档,希望对你能有帮助。

Meg Jay:二十几岁,不可挥霍的光阴:When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapy client. I was a Ph.D. student in clinical psychology at Berkeley. She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex. Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. Now when I heard this, I was so relieved. My classmate got an arsonist for her first client. (Laughter) And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. This I thought I could handle.But I didn't handle it. With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road. "Thirty's the new 20," Alex would say, and as far as I could tell, she was right. Work happened later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later. Twentysomethings like Alex and I had nothing but time.But before long, my supervisor pushed me to push Alex about her love life.I pushed back.I said, "Sure, she's dating down, she's sleeping with a knucklehead, but it's not like she's going to marry the guy."And then my supervisor said, "Not yet, but she might marry the next one.Besides, the best time to work on Alex's marriage is before she has one."That's what psychologists call an "Aha!" moment. That was the moment I realized, 30 is not the new 20. Yes, people settle down later than they used to, but that didn't make Alex's 20s a developmental downtime. That made Alex's 20s a developmental sweet spot, and we were sitting there blowing it. That was when I realized that this sort of benign neglect was a real problem, and it had real consequences, not just for Alex and her love life but for the careers and the families and the futures of twentysomethings everywhere.There are 50 million twentysomethings in the United States right now. We're talking about 15 percent of the population, or 100 percent if you consider that no one's getting through adulthood without going through their 20s first.Raise your hand if you're in your 20s. I really want to see some twentysomethings here. Oh, yay! Y'all's awesome. If you work with twentysomethings, you love a twentysomething, you're losing sleep over twentysomethings, I want to see —Okay. Awesome, twentysomethings really matter.So I specialize in twentysomethings because I believe that every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists, sociologists, neurologists and fertility specialists already know: that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest, yet most transformative, things you can do for work, for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the world.This is not my opinion. These are the facts. We know that 80 percent oflife's most defining moments take place by age 35. That means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and experiences and "Aha!" moments that make your life what it is will have happened by your mid-30s. People who are over 40, don't panic. This crowd is going to be fine, I think. We know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money you're going to earn. We know that more than half of Americans are married or are living with or dating their future partner by 30. We know that the brain caps off its second and last growth spurt in your 20s as it rewires itself for adulthood, which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the time to change it. We know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life, and we know that female fertility peaks at age 28, and things get tricky after age 35. So your 20s are the time to educate yourself about your body and your options.So when we think about child development, we all know that the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment in the brain. It's a time when your ordinary, day-to-day life has an inordinate impact on who you will become. But what we hear less about is that there's such a thing as adult development, and our 20s are that critical period of adult development.But this isn't what twentysomethings are hearing. Newspapers talk about the changing timetable of adulthood. Researchers call the 20s an extended adolescence. Journalists coin silly nicknames for twentysomethings like "twixters" and "kidults." It's true. As a culture, we have trivialized what is actually the defining decade of adulthood.Leonard Bernstein said that to achieve great things, you need a plan and not quite enough time. Isn't that true So what do you think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say, "You have 10 extra years to start your life" Nothing happens. You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens.And then every day, smart, interesting twentysomethings like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this: "I know my boyfriend's no good for me, but this relationship doesn't count. I'm just killing time." Or they say, "Everybody says as long as I get started on a career by the time I'm 30, I'll be fine."But then it starts to sound like this: "My 20s are almost over, and I have nothing to show for myself. I had a better résumé the day after I graduated from college."And then it starts to sound like this: "Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs. Everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down. I didn't want to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes I think I married my husband because he was the closest chair to me at 30."Where are the twentysomethings hereDo not do that.Okay, now that sounds a little flip, but make no mistake, the stakes are very high. When a lot has been pushed to your 30s, there is enormous thirtysomethingpressure to jump-start a career, pick a city, partner up, and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time. Many of these things are incompatible, and as research is just starting to show, simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s.The post-millennial midlife crisis isn't buying a red sports car. It's realizing you can't have that career you now want. It's realizing you can't have that child you now want, or you can't give your child a sibling. Too many thirtysomethings and fortysomethings look at themselves, and at me, sitting across the room, and say about their 20s, "What was I doing What was I thinking"I want to change what twentysomethings are doing and thinking.Here's a story about how that can go. It's a story about a woman named Emma. At 25, Emma came to my office because she was, in her words, having an identity crisis. She said she thought she might like to work in art or entertainment, but she hadn't decided yet, so she'd spent the last few years waiting tables instead. Because it was cheaper, she lived with a boyfriend who displayed his temper more than his ambition. And as hard as her 20s were, her early life had been even harder. She often cried in our sessions, but then would collect herself by saying, "You can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends."Well one day, Emma comes in and she hangs her head in her lap, and she sobbed for most of the hour. She'd just bought a new address book, and she'd spent the morning filling in her many contacts, but then she'd been left staring at that empty blank that comes after the words "In case of emergency, please call ... ."She was nearly hysterical when she looked at me and said, "Who's going to be there for me if I get in a car wreck Who's going to take care of me if I have cancer"Now in that moment, it took everything I had not to say, "I will." But what Emma needed wasn't some therapist who really, really cared. Emma needed a better life, and I knew this was her chance. I had learned too much since I first worked with Alex to just sit there while Emma's defining decade went parading by.So over the next weeks and months, I told Emma three things that every twentysomething, male or female, deserves to hear.First, I told Emma to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital. By get identity capital, I mean do something that adds value to who you are. Do something that's an investment in who you might want to be next. I didn't know the future of Emma's career, and no one knows the future of work, but I do know this: Identity capital begets identity capital. So now is the time for that cross-country job, that internship, that startup you want to try. I'm not discounting twentysomething exploration here, but I am discounting exploration that's not supposed to count, which, by the way, is not exploration. That's procrastination. I told Emma to explore work and make it count.Second, I told Emma that the urban tribe is overrated. Best friends are great for giving rides to the airport, but twentysomethings who huddle together with like-minded peers limit who they know, what they know, how they think, how they speak, and where they work. That new piece of capital, that new person to datealmost always comes from outside the inner circle. New things come from what are called our weak ties, our friends of friends of friends. So yes, half of twentysomethings are un- or under-employed. But half aren't, and weak ties are how you get yourself into that group. Half of new jobs are never posted, so reaching out to your neighbor's boss is how you get that un-posted job. It's not cheating. It's the science of how information spreads.Last but not least, Emma believed that you can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends. Now this was true for her growing up, but as a twentysomething, soon Emma would pick her family when she partnered with someone and created a family of her own. I told Emma the time to start picking your family is now. Now you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle down than 20, or even 25, and I agree with you. But grabbing whoever you're living with or sleeping with when everyone on Facebook starts walking down the aisle is not progress. The best time to work on your marriage is before you have one, and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work. Picking your family is about consciously choosing who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you.So what happened to EmmaWell, we went through that address book, and she found an old roommate's cousin who worked at an art museum in another state. That weak tie helped her get a job there. That job offer gave her the reason to leave that live-in boyfriend. Now, five years later, she's a special events planner for museums. She's marriedto a man she mindfully chose. She loves her new career, she loves her new family, and she sent me a card that said, "Now the emergency contact blanks don't seem big enough."Now Emma's story made that sound easy, but that's what I love about working with twentysomethings. They are so easy to help. Twentysomethings are like airplanes just leaving LAX, bound for somewhere west. Right after takeoff, a slight change in course is the difference between landing in Alaska or Fiji. Likewise, at 21 or 25 or even 29, one good conversation, one good break, one good TED Talk, can have an enormous effect across years and even generations to come.So here's an idea worth spreading to every twentysomething you know. It's as simple as what I learned to say to Alex. It's what I now have the privilege of saying to twentysomethings like Emma every single day: Thirty is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties, pick your family. Don't be defined by what you didn't know or didn't do. You're deciding your life right now. Thank you. (Applause)中文:记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时,我才20多岁。

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Twentysomethings----Meg Jay When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapy client. I was a in clinical psychology at Berkeley. She was a 26-year-old-woman named Alex. Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. Now when I heard this, I was so relieved. My classmate got an arsonist for her first client. And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. This I thought I could handle. But I didn’t handle it. With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road. “Thirty’s the new 20,” Alex would say, and as far as I could tell, she was right. Work happened later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later. Twentysomethings like Alex and I had nothing but time. But before long, my supervisor pushed me to push Alex about her love life. I pushed back. I said, “Sure, she’s dating down, she’s sleeping with a knucklehead, but it’s not like she’s going to marry the guy.” And then my supervisor said, “Not yet, but shemight marry the next one.” Besides, the best time to work on Alex’s marriage is before she has one.” That’s what psychologists call an “Aha!” moment. That was the moment I realized, 30 is not the new 20. Yes, people settle down later than they used to, but that didn’t make Alex’s 20s a developmental downtime. That made Alex’s 20s a developmental sweet spot, and we were sitting there blowing it. That was when I realized that this sort of benign neglect was a real problem, and it had real consequences, not just for Alex and her love life but for the careers and the families and the futures of twentysomethings everywhere. There are 50 million twentysomethings in the United States right now. we’re talking about 15 percent of the population, or 100 percent if you consider that no one’s getting through adulthood without going through the ir 20s first. Raise your hand if you’re in your 20s. I really want to see some twentysomething here. Oh, yay! Y’all’s awesome. If you work with twentysomethings, you love a twentysomething, you’re losing sleep over twentysomethings, I want to see-Okay. Awesome, twentysomethings really matter. So I specialize in twentysomethings because I believe that every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists, sociologists neurologists and fertilityspecialists already know: that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest, yet most transformative, things you can do for work, for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the world. This is not my opinion. These are the facts. We know that 80 percent of life’s most defining moments t ake place by age 35. That means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and experiences and “Aha!” moments that make your life what it is will have happened by your mid-30s. people who are over 40, don’t panic. This crowd is going to be fine, I think. We know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money you’re going to earn. We know that more than half of Americans are marries or are living with or dating their future partner by 30. We know that the brain caps off its second and last growth spurt in your 20s as it rewires itself for adulthood, which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the time to change it. We know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life, and we know that female fertility peaks at age 28, and things get tricky after age 35. So your 20s are the time to educate yourself about your body and your options. So when we think about child development, we all know that the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment inthe brain. It’s a time when your ordinary, day-to-day life has an inordinate impact on who you will become. But what we hear less about is that there’s such a thing as adult development, and our 20s are that critical period of adult development. But this isn’t what twentysomethings are hearing. Newspapers talk about the changing timetable of adulthood. Researchers call the 20s an extended adolescence. Journalists coin silly nicknames for twentysomethings like “twixters” and “kidults”. It’s true. As a culture, we have trivialized what is actually the defining decade of adulthood. Leonard Bernstein said that to achieve great things, you need a plan and not quite enough time. Isn’t that true So what do you think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say, “You have 10 extra years to start your life” Nothing happens. You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens. And then every day, smart, interesting twentysomethings like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this: “I know my boyfriend’s no good for me, but this relationship doesn’t count. I’m just killing time.” Or they say, “Everybody says as long as I get started on a ca reer by the time I’m 30, I’ll be fine.” But then it starts to sound like this: “My 20s are almost over, and I havenothing to show for myself. I had a better resume the day after I graduated from college.” And then it starts to sound like this: “Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs. Everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down. I didn’t want to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes I think I married my husband because he was the closest chair to me at 30.” Where are the twentysomethings here Do not do that. Okay, now that sounds a little flip, but make no mistake, the stakes are very high. When a lot has been pushed to your 30s, there is enormous thirtysomething pressure to junp-start a career, pick a city, partner up, and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time. Many of these things are incompatible, and as research is just starting to show, simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s. The post-millennial midlife crisis isn’t buying a red sports car. It’s realizing you can’t have that career you now want. It’s realizing you can’t have that child you now want, or you can’t give your child a sibling. Too many thirtysomethings and fortysomethings look at themselves, and at me, sitting across the room, and say about their 20s, “What was I doing What was I thinking” I want to change what twentysomethings are doingand thinking. Here’s a story about how that can go. It’s a st ory about a woman named Emma. At 25, Emma came to my office because she was, in her words, having an identity crisis. She said she thought she might like to work I art or entertainment, but she hadn’t decided yet, so she’d spent the last few years waiting tables instead. Because it was cheaper, she lived with a boyfriend who displayed his temper more than his ambition. And as hard as her 20s were, her early life had been even harder. She often cried in our sessions, but then would collect herself by saying, “You can’t pick your family, but you can pick your friends.” Well one day, Emma comes in and she hangs her head in her lap, and she sobbed for most of the hour. She’d just bought a new address book, and she’d spent the morning filling in her many contacts, but then she’d been left staring at that empty blank that comes after the words “In case of emergency, please call… .” She was nearly hysterical when she looked at me and said, “Who’s going to be there for me if I get in a car wreck Who’s going to take c are of me if I have cancer”Now in that moment, it took everything I had not to say, “I will.” But what Emma needed wasn’t some therapist who really, really cared. Emma needed a better life, and I knew this was her chance. I had learned too much since I first worked with Alex to just sitthere while Emma’s defining decade went parading by. So over the next weeks and months, I told Emma there things that every twentysomething, male or female, deserves to hear. First, I told Emma to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital. By get identity capital, I mean do something that adds value to who you are. Do something that’s an investment in who you might want to be next. I didn’t know the future of Emma’s career, and no one knows the fut ure of work, but I do know this: Identity capital begets identity capital. So now is the time for that cross-country job, that internship, that startup you want to try. I’m not discounting twentysomething exploration here, but I am discounting exploration that’s not supposed to count, which, by the way, is not exploration. That’s procrastination. I told Emma to explore work and make it count. Second, I told Emma that the urban tribe is overrated. Best friends are great for giving rides to the airport, but twentysomethings who huddle together with like-minded peers limit who they know, what they know, how they think, how they speak, and where they work. That new piece of capital, that new person to date almost always comes from outside the inner circle. New things come from what are called our weak ties, our friends of friends of friends. So yes,half of twentysomethings are un- or under-employed. But half aren’t, and weak ties are how you get yourself into that group. Half of new jobs are never posted, so reaching out to your neighbor’s boss is how you get that un-posted job. It’s not cheating. It’s the science of how information spreads. Last but not least, Emma believed that you can’t pick your family, but you can pick your friends. Now this was true for her growing up, but as a twentysomething, soon Emma would pick her family when she partnered with someone and created a family of her own. I told Emma the time to start picking your family is now. now you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle down than 20, or even 25,and I agree with you. But grabbing whoever you’re living with or sleeping with when everyone on Facebook starts walking down the aisle is not progress. The best time to work on your marriage is before you have one, and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work. Picking your family is about consciously choosing who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you. So what happened to Emma Well, we went through that address book, and she found an old roommate’s cousin who worked at an art museum in another state. That weak tie helped her get a jobthere. That job offer gave her the reason to leave that live-in boyfriend. Now, five years later, she’s sp ecial events planner for museums. She’s married to a man she mindfully chose. She loves her new career, she loves her new family, and she sent me a card that said, “Now the emergency contact blanks don’t seem big enough.” Now Emma’s story made that sound e asy, but that’s what I love about working with twentysomethings. They are so easy to help. Twentysomethings are like airplanes just leaving LAX, bound for somewhere west. Right after takeoff, a slight change in course is the difference between landing in Alaska or Fiji. Likewise, at 21 or 25 or even 29, one good conversation, one good break, one good TED Talk, can have an enormous effect across years and even generations to come. So here’s an idea worth spreading to every twentysomething you know. It’s as simple as what I learned to say to Alex. It’s what I now have the privilege of saying to twentysomethings like Emma every single day: Thirty is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties, pick your family. Don’t be defined by what you didn’t know or didn’t do. You’re deciding your life right now.Thank you!。

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