高中作文公开课讲评
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• When his mother wants to talk with him, what he says is that “Can’t talk now, I’m chatting.”
好句好段欣赏
• 1. As children, we ought to pay attention to increasing the awareness of communicating with our parents.
…
• share theirs opinion
share their opinion
• It is not benefit to our studyIt is not beneficial to our study
句式错误千奇百怪
• The boy is playing the computer doesn’t want to talk with his mother. • The boy who is playing/playing the computer … • Many students are addicted to chatting online ignore the significance
• we can chatting
• we can chat
• As the time going by
• With the time going by
• As the time goes by
•
ignore the communicate their parents
wi•th
…the
communication
• (三四---- 蒋凤仙)
• 2. I am opposed to such an attitude towards life. Personally , I strongly believe that a child addicted to communicating online will become less outgoing, thus causing the inner life terrible. Besides, chatting online too much, to a great extent, will lead to “the generation gap”. (三七---胡土清)
of communicating with their parents. • Many students who are addicted/addicted to chatting online… • Lots of teenagers would rather playing computer games than talking
with each other better. • Talking with our parents is important, which can help us
communicate with each other better • Be faced with these problems, I think we teenagers should talk with
your parents… • There is generation gap exists in most families. • Compared with computer, parents are more
important.
句子拖沓
• We should communicate with our parents more and more. It can help us know our parents more and more. It also can help our parents know us more and more.
作文讲评
作文较好的同学（18分以上）
• 谢勤 • 杨乐 • 韩笑 • 汪文慧
• 张怡 • 童玲 • 蒋凤仙 • 黄霞
阅读下面两篇作文
ቤተ መጻሕፍቲ ባይዱ
请思考
• 为什么第二篇语言不比第一篇差，但分数 却低得多呢？
• 第一篇字迹清楚，卷面整洁。
• 第一篇由于用了较多的连接词每段内的条 理更清楚，一目了然。
• 第一篇段落分得很清楚，而第二篇最后一
our parents as much as possible. • Faced with these problems, I think we teenagers should talk with our
parents as much as possible.
中式英语笑话百出
• We can’t ignore our parents’ good. • Our parents eat more salt than we. • Let them know our mind has what thought. • If you don’t want to face to face communicate with
段……
一目了然，一清二白
很重要。
避免常用单词拼写错误
• communicat • oppinion • truely • mordern • enjoies • massage • monther • paly • a children • childrens • slove • lifes
• communicate • opinion • truly • modern • enjoys • message • mother • play • A child • children • solve • lives
忽视词性,错误严重
• wide our horizon
• widen our horizon
with their parents. • Lots of teenagers would rather play computer games than talk with
their parents. • Talking with our parents is important, it can help us communicate
好句好段欣赏
• 1. As children, we ought to pay attention to increasing the awareness of communicating with our parents.
…
• share theirs opinion
share their opinion
• It is not benefit to our studyIt is not beneficial to our study
句式错误千奇百怪
• The boy is playing the computer doesn’t want to talk with his mother. • The boy who is playing/playing the computer … • Many students are addicted to chatting online ignore the significance
• we can chatting
• we can chat
• As the time going by
• With the time going by
• As the time goes by
•
ignore the communicate their parents
wi•th
…the
communication
• (三四---- 蒋凤仙)
• 2. I am opposed to such an attitude towards life. Personally , I strongly believe that a child addicted to communicating online will become less outgoing, thus causing the inner life terrible. Besides, chatting online too much, to a great extent, will lead to “the generation gap”. (三七---胡土清)
of communicating with their parents. • Many students who are addicted/addicted to chatting online… • Lots of teenagers would rather playing computer games than talking
with each other better. • Talking with our parents is important, which can help us
communicate with each other better • Be faced with these problems, I think we teenagers should talk with
your parents… • There is generation gap exists in most families. • Compared with computer, parents are more
important.
句子拖沓
• We should communicate with our parents more and more. It can help us know our parents more and more. It also can help our parents know us more and more.
作文讲评
作文较好的同学（18分以上）
• 谢勤 • 杨乐 • 韩笑 • 汪文慧
• 张怡 • 童玲 • 蒋凤仙 • 黄霞
阅读下面两篇作文
ቤተ መጻሕፍቲ ባይዱ
请思考
• 为什么第二篇语言不比第一篇差，但分数 却低得多呢？
• 第一篇字迹清楚，卷面整洁。
• 第一篇由于用了较多的连接词每段内的条 理更清楚，一目了然。
• 第一篇段落分得很清楚，而第二篇最后一
our parents as much as possible. • Faced with these problems, I think we teenagers should talk with our
parents as much as possible.
中式英语笑话百出
• We can’t ignore our parents’ good. • Our parents eat more salt than we. • Let them know our mind has what thought. • If you don’t want to face to face communicate with
段……
一目了然，一清二白
很重要。
避免常用单词拼写错误
• communicat • oppinion • truely • mordern • enjoies • massage • monther • paly • a children • childrens • slove • lifes
• communicate • opinion • truly • modern • enjoys • message • mother • play • A child • children • solve • lives
忽视词性,错误严重
• wide our horizon
• widen our horizon
with their parents. • Lots of teenagers would rather play computer games than talk with
their parents. • Talking with our parents is important, it can help us communicate