英语幽默小故事
英语幽默小故事(共8篇)
英语幽默小故事〔共8篇〕篇1：英语幽默小故事 Don't Pick Up the Money on the GroundAn economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.Why not?If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already.Everything that can be invented has been invented.别捡地上的钱一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走，这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。
学生走过去准备捡，教授制止了他，告诉他别自寻烦恼。
“为什么不捡?”“假设那是一张真20美元钞票的话，早就有人捡走了。
”“该创造的都已经被创造出来了。
”篇2：英语幽默小故事 The Less You Know, the More Money You MakeTheorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.Postulate 2: Time is Money.As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we haveKnowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.知识越少挣钱越多定理：工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。
英语短篇幽默小故事
英语短篇幽默小故事篇一：英语幽默小故事10篇.英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下：Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。
旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
Very Pleased to Meet YouDuring World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys.""Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said."Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister.""I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。
2023年最新的英语幽默小故事10篇
2023年最新的英语幽默小故事10篇1Mr. Jones had a few days’ holiday, so he said, “I’m going to go to the mountains by train.” He put on his best clothes, took a small bag, went to the station and got on the train. He had a beautiful hat, and he often put his head out of the window during the trip and looked at the mountains. But the wind pulled his hat off.Mr. Jones quickly took his old bag and threw that out of the window too.The other people in the carriage laughed. “Is your bag going to bring your beautiful hat back” they ask ed.“No,” Mr. Jones answered, “but there’s no name and no addressin my hat, and there’s a name and address on the bag. Someone’s going to find both of them near each other, and he’s going to send me the bag and the hat.”琼斯先生有几天的假期，所以他说，“我要去山上的火车。
”他穿上他最好的衣服，拿了一个小袋子，去了火车站，上了火车。
他有一顶漂亮的帽子，他经常把他的头伸出车窗去看山。
英语幽默小故事14篇
Gardening Gloves For months I hinted that I needed a new wedding ring, since I had developed an
allergy to gold. On my birthday, while I was gardening, my husband asked me for gift suggestions. I held my hands up and said, "Well, you‘ll notice that my hands are bare." Later that evening I opened my present with enthusiasm. "Happy birthday," he said, as I unwrapped a new pair of gardening gloves. 园艺手套 几个月以来，我一直在向丈夫暗示我需要一枚新的结婚戒指，因为我对黄金有点过敏。生日那天，我正在 干园艺活时，丈夫问我想要什么礼物。我举起双手说：“嗯，你肯定看到了，我的两手都是光光的。” 那天晚上，我满怀热情地拆开了丈夫送的.礼物。“生日快乐!”他说。我打开一看：里面包着一双园艺手套。
英语幽默小故事 篇8
Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for seve Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wound Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."
英语小故事5分钟幽默
英语小故事5分钟幽默爱听故事、爱看故事书,是现在小学生最明显的特点。
孩子们通过阅读来获取知识。
店铺整理了5分钟幽默英语小故事，欢迎阅读!5分钟幽默英语小故事篇一A foreign visitor touring the great American West came across an Indian with his ear pressed to the ground.一位外国游客到美国大西部游览，碰到一个印第安人把耳朵紧贴在地上。
"What are you listening for?" he asked."你在听什么呢?"他询问道。
"Stagecoach pass about half hour ago.“一辆马车半小时前曾经过这里。
”"How can you tell?"“你怎么知道呢?'’"Broke my neck. "“我的脖子被撞断了。
”5分钟幽默英语小故事篇二A politician was out on the Indian reservation displaying his sympathy for the oppressed Native Americans. He addressed a gathering of the people.一位政客抵达一处印第安人居留地向居住在该区被压迫的原住民表达他的关切之情。
他向一群民众发表演说。
The plight of your tribe has always been close to my heart," said the politician.“我一直切身体会到你们的穷苦困境，”政客说。
"Umgwalagwala , "responded the audience enthusiastically.“安瓜拉瓜拉!”群众热烈欢呼。
一分钟英文幽默小故事(共8篇)
一分钟英文幽默小故事〔共8篇〕篇1：一分钟英文幽默小故事 A hungry Fox found in a hollow tree a quantity of bread and meat, which some shepherds had placed there against their return.Delighted with his find he slipped in through the narrow aperture and greedily devoured it all.But when he tried to get out again he foundhimself so swollen after his big meal that he could not squeeze through the hole, and fell to whining and groaning over his misfortune.一分钟英文幽默小故事2:The Beauty of a ShabbyLittle DandelionSpring has e for the flowers and trees, in the forest and fields. Spring has also e on the wild flowers under the fence and on a small apple tree. There were red bursting flower buds hanging on the fresh apple tree branches.The apple Tree Branch held up his head and looked at many kinds of people who came in and out. They allshowed different reactions to the Apple Tree Branch.All the people reacted differently when they saw the Apple Tree branch. Some were expressionless without a word, some overpraised the beauty of the Apple Tree Branch, and others gazed at him with a satisfied look.Seeing these various reactions from people, the Apple Tree Branch realized that people have as diverse personalities as plants and flowers do and that they are all different. The Apple Tree branch looked at the fields and a garden through the open window. There were shabby flowers and plants as well as beautiful ones in the garden.'Those grasses are so pathetic. It's not theirfault they have such ugly and squalid names. However, everything is different in this world.' The apple Tree Branch sympathized and looked at the little flowers blooming next to the fields and streams.At that time, the Sun kissed the Apple Tree Branch, a dandelion in the field, the abundant beautiful flowers, and the shabby fl owers and said, “Yes, there is difference among everything, but throw away yourprejudice and look ahead with a broad point of view. What do you think the poorest plant is?” “A Dandelion. People do not use it even for a bouquet, and it is so mon that people trle it down carelessly. It is not different from a weed at all.”At that time, children ran across the field,rolled about on the lawn, and picked and kissed the dandelions. They made necklaces and garlands of them. They looked wonderful with the golden flowers and green stems.The seeds stuck to the stalks of the dandelions, and they were as beautiful as white feathers. When the children blew out with a puff, the seeds of the dandelions fluttered away as if they had wings.“Look at that! Now, do you und erstand how beautiful those flowers are, and how much pleasure they can give us?” The Sun said to the Apple Tree Branch. “They are only for children.” The Apple Tree Branch answered.At that time, an old lady dug in the ground of the field and picked the roots of the dandelions. She willmake tea, take it to the doctor who makes medicine,and earn money with the roots of the dandelions.“But, beauty is more valuable than those things. Only elected ones can join the Kingdom of Beauty. Not every plant can be the same, just as people can't be the same.” The Apple Tree Branch said.Later some people came into the room. The Countess who brought the Apple Tree Branch to the castle wasone of them. She brought a stalk of dandelion seeds much more carefully than when she brought the Apple Tree Branch.“Look at this. Isn't this beautiful? I will drawa picture of this dandelion with the apple tree branch. Everyone says that the apple tree branch is more beautiful, but this humble dandelion has a different kind of beauty. Even though the apple tree branch and the dandelion look different from each other, they are all beautiful.” The Countess said filled with admiration.The Sun smiled and kissed the shabby dandelion and the Apple Tree Branch. The Apple Tree Branch blushed his own petals with shame.篇2：一分钟英文幽默小故事 A long time ago, there lived a terrible king. The terrible king's wish was that all the people would shake in fear at the sound of his name. The terrible king made the lives of the people in the neighbor land ho rrible. “Here! Take everything!”The terrible king viciously took away all the belongings of the neighbor land. He even scared the poor women and children. The king was not even sorry to the children and women. The terrible king bothered the people of the neighbor land worse and worse everyday. The palace became more and more magnificent.“Put up a statue in the church!” Now theterrible king was ordering the church to place a statue of himself there. However, the ministers could not do that.“ Your majesty may be great, but God is even greater.”The terrible king was being angry. It was because he thought that he was the greatest in the whole world. Then the king was angry. “What! He is greater? Then I will defeat God.”In a loud voice, the terrible king said that he would win against God. That's why he ordered that a magnificent ship be built in order to go to the heaven. He said he would ride the ship to go and defeat God. The terrible king rode the ship up to heaven.From the sky, an angel was sent. However, the terrible king shot over a thousand bullets at the angel. “Ahhhhhh” Being shot, the angel was bleeding. The blood dropped unto the terrible king's ship. The angel's blood was so heavy that the king's ship sank.The terrible king became angry, again. “Build a more stronger ship.” The terrible king wanted abetter ship, so he ordered all the workers in his kingdom to build it. “I will defeat God for sure!”The terrible king went up to heaven, once more. God sent mosquitoes to the terrible king. The terribleking just laughed at the mosquitoes. “Go and bring me the best carpet.”The king made another mand. He thought that if he wrapped the carpet around his body the mosquitoes would not be able to bite him. But one mosquito went inside of the carpet. Because of that one mosquito, the terrible king was rolling around screaming. The terrible king that couldn't even catch one mosquito was a laughingstock for his troops.The Terrible King篇3：一分钟英语幽默小故事 Many ages had now passed away since the Phoenix had been seen in the world. At last he again appeared. Immediately al the different kinds of animals, both birds and beasts, flocked around him.篇4：一分钟英语幽默小故事 Christmas was ing .Mr Smith had no money to buy any presents for hischildren .His wife was ill and he spent a lot of money on her medicine .And the harvest was bad and all his family were going go be hungry the next spring .He was quite worried about it .“We had only a cock ,”said Mrs Smith oneday .“You’d better take it to the town .Sell it there and buy some cakes and sweets for ourchildren .”“It’s a good idea !”the man said and caught the cock the next morning and put it into a box .It was difficult to walk on the road covered with thicksnow .Two hours later he was very tied and wanted to have a rest .He put the box to the ground and sat down .“The air in the box must be close ,”the man said to himself .“I’d better let the cock walk outside for a while ,or it’ll die .”So he put the cock to the ground .When he started again ,he couldn’t catch it any lo nger .“How foolish you are !”Mr Smith called out angrily .“You can herald the break of day at night but you cann’t find the way to the town in the daytime !”篇6：英文短篇幽默小故事精选 Once there were lots of toys in a room. There was a saving box on thedresser, and it was a small piggy bank. The piggy bank was full of bronze, gold and silver coins.One night, the beautiful moonlight poured into the room through a window. The toys in the room were so happy. “Ladies and gentlemen, let's play together on this beautifu l night.” A baby doll with a red velvet ribbon said. “Okay. Let's play a game.” “After that, let's have a tea party.” “Wow, it will beexciting!” All the toys shouted for joy.“Hey, piggy bank! e on and join us. Let's enjoy the party.” “e on.” Everyone inv ited him to the party, but the piggy bank ignored their invitation. Therefore, the other toys enjoyed their party without the piggy bank.A rocking horse put on a knitting ball tail and danced. A rubber ball rolled over, and a toy car drove round everywhere in the room. Everyone seemed so happy.The piggy bank looked down at them playing and watched with an askance look. Then, the playing was over and the tea party began. The piggy bank couldn'tstand not eating when he saw the food, and he came closer step by step to the edge of the dresser.He smelled delicious cookies. He suddenly stuckhis head towards the toys gathered.“Clink!” The piggy bank fell down to the floor. When the piggy bank broke into pieces, the bronze, gold and silver coins inside of him scattered noisily.The other toys were surprised at the piggy bank's fall while they were enjoying the tea party. Everybody looked at the piggy bank with surprise. “Look at that poor piggy bank. He was always proud of himself.”“It's so sad. He could not even enjoy the party.”All the other toys felt sorry about the piggy bank.篇7：英文幽默哲理小故事英文幽默哲理小故事1、如今我要表现得像一位女士One day womens dresses were on sale at a department store. A dignified middle-aged man decided to pick a dress for his wife, but soon he found himself being battered by frantic women.一天，一家百货公司的女装大减价，一位高贵的中年男士想给他的太太挑选一件女装。
幽默英语小故事16篇笑死人的
幽默英语小故事16篇笑死人的在小学英语教学期间,英语小故事能够为学生的学习提供良好的背景。
幽默英语小故事有哪些呢?本文是店铺整理的幽默英语小故事16篇，欢迎阅读。
幽默英语小故事1.Be Careful What You Wish ForA couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.慎重许愿一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。
他们恰好在同一天出生。
庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。
她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。
妻子想周游世界。
仙女招了招手。
“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。
接下来该丈夫许愿了。
英语幽默小故事
英语幽默小故事英语幽默小故事（Humorous English Stories）英语幽默小故事是指那些融入了幽默元素的，令人发笑的、趣味横生的故事。
这些故事往往可以轻松地让人们放松心情，以轻鬆愉快的方式学习英语，增强学习兴趣，提高英语水平。
以下是一些英语幽默小故事，欢迎各位读者阅读。
故事一：The Blind Man and the Fish一条盲鱼夹在一群鱼中间游，在它身旁的一位失明男子问：“鱼啊，你好吗？”“我很好，谢谢您，”鱼回答道：“你想知道其他鱼怎么样吗？”故事二：The Clever Chef旅馆的厨师在晚饭时，上了一盘煮熟的翅膀，但是所有的客人都觉得味道不对。
客人们投诉后，厨师想要一试，品尝后失声惊叫，原来厨师把旅馆老板的卡特车修理的机油加到翅膀里面煮，虽然味道奇特，但确实是高效率的“润滑油”。
故事三：The Secret to Happiness一个医生告诉一个病人，如果他想保持健康和幸福，就应该每天早晨起床时，抱住自己，唱一首赞美之歌，“我就是我，我很棒！”病人试着练习后，很快恢复了健康，找到了幸福。
故事四：The Wise Monkey一个猴子在树上看着一个两个人争吵，最终分不清谁对谁错。
于是这只猴子提议：“为什么不让我来当调解人呢？我将一半的苹果给你，另一半给你，以此来解决这个问题。
”一个人高兴地把自己那半苹果递给了猴子，而另一个人也高兴地接下了自己的那半苹果。
于是猴子便坐下来自己吃了整个苹果。
故事五：The Onions有个瞎眼老人走进了一家餐馆，要了一碗洋葱汤，一口一口地喝着，接下来餐馆里的每个人都一个一个传染性地开了哭泣。
老人停下来，问：“这是怎么回事？”餐馆老板笑着回答：“你切的洋葱让大家哭了出来。
”以上是一些英语幽默小故事，希望这些故事为大家带来欢乐和帮助。
通过这些小故事，人们可以轻松愉快地掌握和学习英语，从而更快地提高英语水平。
英语幽默小故事10篇
英语幽默小故事10篇【引言】学习英语的过程中，阅读幽默小故事不仅能够提高我们的语言能力，还能让我们在轻松愉快的氛围中领略到英语文化的魅力。
下面，就让我们一起来欣赏10篇英语幽默小故事，并在快乐中学习吧！【故事1】Once upon a time, there was a man named Jack who had a peculiar habit of always forgetting his keys.One day, he locked himself out of his house again.Instead of calling a locksmith, he decided to break into his own house through the window.As he was climbing in, he suddenly realized that he had left his keys inside the house!幽默点：Jack忘记带钥匙的习惯以及他试图通过窗户进入自己家的荒谬行为让人捧腹大笑。
【故事2】Mike was a terrible cook.One day, he decided to make dinner for his girlfriend.He spent hours in the kitchen, and when he finally served the meal, it was completely inedible.His girlfriend asked him, "What did you make?" Mike replied, "Well, it"s not quite soup, and it"s not quite stew, but you can call it "soupstew"!"幽默点：Mike的创新菜名“soupstew”让人忍俊不禁，体现了他的幽默感。
英语幽默小故事带翻译
安妮：亲爱的，一点也不，不管是谁留给你钱，我都会爱你。
故事三：The Blind Man（盲人）
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing-eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head.
经理跑过去问那个男人，“你在干什么？！”
盲人回答，“我只是想看看周围。”
故事四：The Art of Conversation（交谈的艺术）
Teacher: “Can anyone give me three points of similarity between a giraffe and a refrigerator?”
英语幽默小故事带翻译
故事一：The Interview（面试）
John went for an interview at a big company. After the interview, the HR manager said, “You are very suitable for the job. But I'm afraid you won't be able to start until Monday.”
The manager runs up to the man and asks, “What are you doing?!”
The blind man responds, “Just looking around.”
翻译：一个盲人带着导盲犬走进一家商店。突然间，他抓起狗的牵引绳开始把狗甩到头顶上。
英语小故事3分钟幽默故事带翻译
英语小故事3分钟幽默故事带翻译一些幽默的英语故事，能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣，从而提高英语的阅读能力，今天店铺在这里为大家分享一些幽默英语小故事3分钟，希望大家喜欢这些英语故事!3分钟幽默英语小故事篇1Golfing with cowsA man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.一个男人摇摇晃晃地走进了急诊室，两个眼睛是青的，脖子上有明显的五指印。
Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.医生问他发生了什么。
“额，是这样的，”这个人说。
“我和我老婆来了几局高尔夫，她把球打到一个牛群里。
”"We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.“我们去找这个球，我四下搜索，发现一头牛的屁股后面有个白色的东西。
”"I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball -- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."“我走过去，举起了它的尾巴想看清楚，我老婆的球就卡在牛的屁股中间。
英语小笑话带翻译
英语小笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译（精选12篇）笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
下面是店铺为大家整理的关于英语的小笑话带翻译，欢迎大家的阅读。
英语小笑话带翻译篇1He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。
干什么的？-- 墓地守墓人。
英语小笑话带翻译篇2Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。
在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
幽默爆笑英语小故事五则
幽默爆笑英语小故事五则幽默爆笑英语小故事：帮倒忙"I'll need to see your license and registration,"says the highway patrolman after stopping a middle-aged couple."You were speeding.”高速公路上的警察拦住了一对中年夫妇，说:“我要看看你的驾驶证和车证，你超速了.”"But，officer,"says the husband, "I was way under the speed limit.”“可是，长官，我一直在限制以下的速度开车。
”大夫说。
"Sir, you were doing 63 in a 55 Zone.”“先生，你在限速55英里的地区开到了63英里。
”"I was not speeding!"insists the man. 'Your radar gun must be broken. "“我没有超速，”那个人坚特说:“你的雷达扫瞄一定有问题了。
”At this point, the wife leans over. "It''s no use arguing with him, officer,"she says apologetically."He always gets this stubborn when he's been drinking."这时，他的老婆凑了上来:“警察先生，你不用跟他争论了，”她带着抱歉的口气说:“每一次喝酒，他就变得这么固执。
”幽默爆笑英语小故事：判断失误The owner visits his factory and is shocked to see a man leaning against a wall，drinking coffee, "How much do you make?" he demands.“Eighty dollars a day,“is the reply.The owner hands him $80 and says，“Get out,and don't come back!"工厂的老板下厂来检查，他看见一个人倚着喝咖啡，这使他感到很吃惊。
有关英语小故事3分钟幽默
有关英语小故事3分钟幽默英语作为一门语言和思维统一的学科,其内在本质是语言与思维的辨证统一。
英语故事教学不仅能有效地学习英语知识,亦能有效地培养学生的思维能力。
店铺整理了有关3分钟幽默英语小故事，欢迎阅读! 有关3分钟幽默英语小故事篇一狗也知道这个谚语吗The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。
”"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗?”有关3分钟幽默英语小故事篇二智慧乐观的父亲I had iust learned to drive and, like most teen-agers，begged at every opportunity to take over the wheel. During a family vacation my father finally allowed me drive on a long，straight stretch on highway.I was in my glory until there was a sudden turn in the road.Caught unaware, I swung too wide and ran into a service station's advertising sign. I stopped the cat and waited for a lecture.像大多数的青少年一样，我刚学会开车时，总想利用一切开车的机会。
英语双语幽默小故事33篇
1. A secondA man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says: "In a second"一秒钟一男子进入教堂和上帝对话。
他问："主啊,一百万美元对你意味着多少？""一便士"上帝回答,男子又问："那一百万年呢？"上帝说："一秒钟"。
最后男子请求道："上帝,我能得到一便士吗？"上帝回答："过一秒钟"2.Cat and MiceMrs. Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top." What's in your box?" asked the friend."A cat," answered Mrs. Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them.""But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend."So is the cat," whispered Mrs. Brown.猫和老鼠布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友,她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。
10个幽默小故事英语作文
10个幽默小故事英语作文Humorous Stories。
Humor is an essential part of our lives. It brings joy and laughter, and it helps us to cope with difficult situations. Here are ten humorous stories that are sure to put a smile on your face.1. The Mischievous Monkey。
A man had a pet monkey that loved to play pranks. One day, the monkey stole the man's hat and ran up a tree. The man tried to coax the monkey down, but it refused. Finally, the man had an idea. He took off his own hat and threw it on the ground. The monkey, thinking it was the man's hat, dropped the stolen hat and ran down the tree to get the new one. The man quickly grabbed his hat and laughed as the monkey looked confused.2. The Clever Cat。
A cat was watching a mouse hole, waiting for a mouse to come out. Suddenly, the mouse appeared, and the cat pounced. But the mouse was too quick and ran back into the hole. The cat tried again and again, but the mouse always escaped. Finally, the cat had an idea. It sat down next to the mouse hole and meowed loudly. The mouse, thinking it was safe, came out to investigate. The cat quickly caught it and enjoyed a delicious meal.3. The Forgetful Fisherman。
英语幽默小故事10篇
英语幽默小故事10篇摘要：1.英语幽默小故事概述2.故事1：聪明的狗3.故事2：迟到的理由4.故事3：误解的笑话5.故事4：幸运的数字6.故事5：咖啡店的对决7.故事6：调皮的孙子8.故事7：语言障碍9.故事8：购物趣事10.故事9：意外的礼物11.故事10：简单的幸福12.总结：英语幽默小故事的启示正文：【英语幽默小故事概述】在这个世界上，幽默无处不在，英语幽默小故事更是让人忍俊不禁。
这里，我们为您精心准备了10篇英语幽默小故事，它们涵盖了日常生活、工作和人际交往等多个方面，不仅让您在轻松愉快的氛围中学习英语，还能领悟到人生哲理。
接下来，让我们一一领略这些故事的魅力吧！【故事1：聪明的狗】一天，一位主人带着他的狗去散步。
突然，狗发现了一个美味的骨头，于是它决定偷偷拿走。
主人发现了狗的意图，于是对它说：“如果你能用英语告诉我这个骨头的价值，我就让你拿走。
”狗想了想，用英语回答：“This bone is worth a lot.”主人听后笑了笑，把骨头给了狗。
这个故事告诉我们，学习英语是有好处的。
【故事2：迟到的理由】一个人因为迟到被同事嘲笑，他解释说：“我今天起床后发现家里的钟停了，所以我以为是早上7点。
结果，我以最快的速度赶到公司，结果还是迟到了。
”这个故事告诉我们，有时候，迟到的理由也能带来幽默。
【故事3：误解的笑话】一位外国游客在中国餐馆点了一份“狗不理包子”，结果服务员端上来一盘狗肉。
游客大怒，喊道：“我点的不是狗肉，是狗不理包子！”这个故事告诉我们，语言误解会导致笑话。
【故事4：幸运的数字】一位迷信的同事对公司里的每个人都说：“我的车牌号是168，意味着一路发，所以今天我一定会走运。
”结果，当天他出了车祸。
有人问他：“你的车牌号不是意味着一路发吗？怎么还会出车祸？”他回答：“是啊，可是我忘了，168还意味着一路傻瓜。
”【故事5：咖啡店的对决】一位顾客在咖啡店点了一杯咖啡，服务员问他：“您要加糖吗？”顾客回答：“不用，我已经够甜了。
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英语学习专家提醒：英语学习重在运用，要动起来, be active in your study！对于下面的这些资料，请不要仅仅是看闹热，或一时兴起，而是要重在坚持！英语学习没有捷径，只有一步一个脚印！这是关于英语文化陷阱的学习，重点在于运用于真实语境中来领悟其用法！1. You have matches最近我有一次机会登上一艘豪华游轮观光。
一次, 我在酒吧台拿了两杯鸡尾酒回房间享受，途中遇到一位女士，她看看我后笑着说：“You have matches？”我一愣，回答说：“很抱歉，我十五年前就戒烟了，所以没有火柴。
”她立刻会意到我误解了她的意思，好像是有点抱歉的说：“It’s a joke.” 然后，我们就相互尴尬的笑了笑，走开了。
事后和朋友在吃晚饭的时候聊天，我趁机向一个美国朋友请教白天的那句话，他解释说：“因为她看你两手都占着，就故意开玩笑跟你要火柴，这是个非常普通的笑话，非但没有恶意，反而是想问你需不需要帮忙。
”2. Turn the table一位亲戚和妻子失和到了要离婚的地步。
几天前接到亲戚电话，说他们在走进律师楼之前，先去求助于心理和婚姻问题专家。
夫妇俩心平气和地坐下来谈了好多次，互相之间多了一份理解，少了一份猜疑、埋怨，结果化干戈为玉帛。
说简单也简单，就这么拯救了这场婚姻。
我打心眼里为他们高兴，把这一消息告诉了同样也认识他们的一位美国朋友。
这位朋友挺激动的，连连说着“感谢上帝，感谢上帝”，她还补充了一句“He turned the table”。
这话让我心里很不舒服，她是指我亲戚动粗吗？我打抱不平说：“不会，不会，他很斯文，很有绅士风度，不会以粗鲁的举动压制对方，不会以高压让对方屈从。
” 结果，越说谁也听不懂谁。
看着我那一脸不快的表情，朋友突然茅塞頓开了，以另一种方法向我解释。
终于让我明白，她是说我亲戚“扭转了局面”，那“table”和我想到的“桌子”根本无关。
再说远一点, turn the tables (on someone)这个短语也和“桌子”没什么关系, 它的意思是to suddenly take a position of strength or advantage that was formerly held by someone else (反败为胜,转弱为强), 例如: “She played badly in the first set, but then she turned the tables on her opponent and won the match. ”3. Wearing two hats同事朋友聚会，少不了相互介绍。
先生在向我介绍他的同事Larry 时，说他可是个大忙人: “He is wearing two hats.” 我说，你开什么玩笑，他根本就没戴帽子。
Larry 一直以笑作答，倒是先生察言观色，知道我不懂，便帮我找台阶下。
原来，先生是指Larry 在医院某一部门担任要职，除此之外，还有自己的生意，就是说Larry 身兼两职，而不是真的戴了两顶帽子。
4. With a grain of salt一天吃饭的时候，好友Allen 和他的中国籍太太坐在餐桌旁大谈最近流行的一种草药，说它能包治百病。
Allen 说了一句：“I’d like to take it with a grain of salt”。
他太太笑道：“你以为它是蔬菜啊，还要加点盐再吃。
健康专家可没有说过要加盐。
”Allen 愣了一下，然后大笑不已，解释道“ Take something with a grain of salt” 是“对某事有保留、持怀疑态度”的意思。
原来刚才Allen 是说他对这种草药的神奇疗效表示怀疑，而不是说要“放些盐再吃”。
5.You are in for a treat！这天，同事们正在讨论为我和Rhonda 开生日party的事情，为了尊重寿星，大家让Rhonda 和我选择一家中意的餐厅。
Rhonda建议去镇上一家叫做BBQ 的美国餐厅。
我从来没有去过那里，于是就问她那里有什么特色。
Rhonda便开始滔滔不绝的介绍他们的招牌菜，听得我十指大动，直咽口水，Rhonda便笑着说: “You are in for a treat !” 我愣了一下，以为Rhonda要请我去那里吃饭，心里十分不好意思，试探着问过她之后，Rhonda 笑着解释说: “You are in for a treat means you'll like it !”6. Knife and fork朋友D说日前在某大酒楼饮茶，见邻桌有青年夫妇和大概是他们在外国结识的老太太一起饮茶。
老太太对操作筷子很感兴趣，在那里学用chopsticks夹虾饺。
D说他有个美国朋友，曾花了一些时间学习正确使用筷子的方法，每有机会就要表演一下，还说用筷子是一种艺术，是古老的中国文化的表现。
中国人吃饭用筷子，洋人进餐用刀叉。
其实洋人从前没有knife and fork，用的是木片削成的叉。
这种木叉从意大利经伊斯坦堡传到英国，是两刺的肉叉(two-pronged fork)。
在此之前，人们吃肉用手，因此对于改用肉叉有人说是“对赐人五指之神的侮辱。
”筷子又叫作“箸”，据说由于箸与住同音。
住有停止之意。
航船忌停，江苏一带行船的人们改称箸为“筷儿”。
筷音同快，不住而快，一帆风顺矣。
日语中筷作箸，但读作hashi，和作桥解的hashi相同，似乎和行船有点关系。
日谚有“只会拿着筷子吃”指“茶来伸手，饭来张口。
”中餐桌上每人有一份箸匙(zhuchi)，一双筷子一把汤匙，也许就没有knife and fork那么杀气腾腾了吧？7. Skeleton in the closet一天朋友谈及一则大爆“名人”家丑的八卦新闻，说那些家族中人以搬弄“skeleton in the closet”为乐事，难道这些名人家的壁橱中真的有骷髅？他说的“skeleton in the closet”(英国人则习惯说成skeleton in the cupboard)现在的意义并没有那么可怕。
不过据说当年这个习语产生的时候的确指那些有钱人家谋杀了一个人，把骸骨暗藏在壁橱中，不让外人知道，从此skeleton in the closet 就成了那家人的秘密，后来这个短语用来指不可或不愿外扬的家丑，简称作family skeleton。
例如：Many old families have a number of skeletons in their closets which they are loath to discuss(许多古老的家族中有很多秘密，他们不愿谈及这些话题。
)8. Skin off one's noseJoe很热心公益，每周固定有一天去做义工。
在他的影响下，我也参加了几次。
有一次跟他提起如果能到附近的剧院做义工的话，也许会比较有趣。
有一天他拿了一份报纸，上面就有剧院要找义工的消息，我打算下班后过去看看，可是不巧碰上那天身体不舒服，下了班躺在床上就不想动了。
第二天碰到Joe，问我有没有去，我把实情跟他解释。
他听完后说：“No skin off my nose.”我不懂，只好怔怔地望着他，心想，他大概以为我是“叶公好龙”吧。
回家查了俚语词典，才知道skin off one's nose是与某人有关的意思。
Joe是在说我去不去其实"不关他的事"，他只是顺便问一下罢了。
注：no skin off sb.’s nose 也可说成no skin off sb.’s teeth9. Small beerSmall beer是“小啤酒”的意思吗？难道啤酒还分大小？其实，在英国small beer 指的是口味比较淡啤酒，但是在美语中则是“少量啤酒”的意思。
比如说夏天有客人来访，问他要喝些什么：Anything to drink？客人就可能回答说：“I'll have a small beer(给我一点儿啤酒。
)”比喻用法中说的small beer，指规模或者格局不大的事物。
自以为了不起，不是小人物的人：He thinks no small beer of himself. Be small beer常用作与人比较的表现。
口语中常用small beer作形容词，因此开快餐店的朋友可以说：Ours is a small-beer fast-food joint beside McDonald.10. Spaghetti朋友S说，意大利面食pasta，除实心粉spaghetti外，还有通心粉macaroni，宽面条lasagna，有肉馅做小方块形的意大利馄饨(云吞)ravioli，细长面条tagliatelle以及细线状的细面vermicelli(我们将“粉丝”译作vermicelli，原是意大利细面借之名)。
意大利是欧洲第一个吃面食的国家。
十三世纪时马可波罗从中国传去制面食方法后，大受欢迎，特别是实心意粉spaghetti，以其容易烹调，可以配上各种佐料，很快就风行全国。
不过那时没有刀叉可用，因此吃的都是无汤汁的实心意粉，便于用手抓送入口。
现在的肉汁意粉(spaghetti with meat sauce)，是后来才出现的吃法。
当然，马可波罗当年在中国也吃过我们的牛肉汤面或者排骨汤面。
但是有汤的spaghetti乃至以之作汤的spaghetti soup，全是后来出现的意粉吃法。
Spaghetti一词源于意大利语spago，意思是一条线。
一条意粉是spaghetto，通常用复数的spaghetti。
意粉一碟，面条杂乱，因此车辆往来多，交通混乱的街口称为spaghetti junction。
11. Speaking of the devil几个同学聚到一起聊天，大家都到齐了，唯独不见Wayne。
其中一个说“今天好像没见到Wayne”，另一个接着说“他的女儿放暑假，东西要从宿舍里搬出来，他大概帮忙去了”。
正说着，只见Wayne从外面走过来。
Joe于是说“speaking of the devil”。
几个人乐了起来。
我心想Wayne 这个人平常挺老实的，为什么说他是devil呢？于是我悄悄地去问Joe。
原来“speaking of the devil”是一条成语，相当于中文的“说曹操，曹操到”。
也就是刚说Wayne 不在，结果他就来了。
我不禁惊诧于语言的共通性，因为曹操不是也有“奸雄”的称号吗？中英文在这一成语上有着这样惊人的异曲同工之处。
12.Stolen from ... dealer高速公路上人车奔驰，朋友突然指着前方一部小轿车，说：“哇！这人好嚣张，贼车还敢挂上招牌！”我顺着他的目光看过去，不禁哑然失笑，我说：“先生呀！人家车牌上写着‘stolen from … Dealer’,是指他这部从… Dealer那儿买来的车，价格低廉，便宜得像偷来得一样。