TOEFL作文评改(二)
TOEFLiBT 高分作文 思路+范文 完美重排版
TOEFL.iBT 高分作文思路＋范文完美重排版 (3)本部分填补了目前网络iBT 备考资料的空白。
根据李笑来老师提供的作文思路与《iBT 高分作文》原书范文重排。
本部分对iBT 考试的独立写作部分与口语部分均具有重要的参考作用。
范文中加粗部分均依为原书所有。
附录一185 题库按关键词分类 (184)照录原书附录附录二李笑来作文笔记（独立部分） (185)根据本人新东方听课详尽笔记整理而成附录三句法多样性专题 (193)附录四例证表达法 (199)时间匆忙，欢迎指出错误，将在后面的版本中修正。
感谢笑来老师给我们提供了如此之好的备考材料，一切版权归笑来老师所有。
仅供广大iBT 考生备考参考，建议购买原版以更好使用。
Lost Lawyer2006 年11 月10 日Page 2 of 201TOEFL.iBT 高分作文思路＋范文完美重排版1. Why people attend college?People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.『分析』说明人们选择上大学的具体原因(一个或者多个)：增加经验、拓展知识、开阔视野为了实现理想(ideal; idealistic)(如，周恩来就是为中华之崛起而读书)为了保证将来的就业机会父母要求子女上大学别人都上大学了，所以自己也选择读书找不到工作("无知"，总是一部分人做出某个选择的理由。
上大学如是[1]，去博物馆如是[12]，从事危险运动亦如是[43]。
李笑来TOEFL高分英语作文-002
Are parents the best teachers?Obviously, in most cases the earliest teachers people have are their parents, and parents are generally most concerned about the development of their children. However, it is not completely true to say that parents are the best teachers.显而易见，很多时候人们最早的老师是他们的父母，父母通常是最关心孩子的发展的。
然而，说父母是最好的老师并不完全正确。
First of all, not all parents are good teachers. As normal individuals, parents more or less have some bad habits. Even though parents almost instinctively devote themselves to cultivating their offspring, the outcome might turn out to be disappointment, for all children tend to unconsciously or subconsciously copy everything including the bad ones from their parents. Another decificiency of parents as teachers is the fact that most parents are lack of common senses of education. All too often we observe some parents tend to pursue their cherished but failed dream by forcing their children to develop in a prearranged direction. Ironically, when their children do not follow the instruction, the children will be regarded as disobedient or allegedly rebellious. In fact, it is parents rather than their children that virtually disobey common senses.首先，并不是所有的父母都是好老师。
7月托福考试攻略：改革不用慌!写作新题型Discussion Board全解析!
7月托福考试攻略：改革不用慌！写作新题型Discussion Board全解析！7月托福考试攻略：改革不用慌！写作新题型Discussion Board 全解析！7月托福考试攻略：改革不用慌！写作新题型DiscussionBoard 全解析！托福改革不用慌！写作新题型DiscussionBoard全解析近期网传托福将于今年7月迎来重大改革，就目前的消息来看，新版托福考试将会对考试内容进行精简，显著降低考生的体力消耗。
目前网传托福改革的要点如下：据传官方将于4月11日正式官宣，新版托福将于7月26日上线。
最新消息：目前托福考试官方视频号上在4月11日确实有一场直播，主题是2023年托福iBT考试全新升级发布会。
这就直接证明了之前的网传的改革消息是几乎板上定钉的事儿了，只是改革细节是否如网传所说，咱们还要拭目以待当天的直播~就网传内容来看，这次所谓的托福改革除了取消加试和删减一篇托福阅读之外，最大的变化就是写作部分。
所以接下来着重对写作部分的变化做下分析。
当前写作是综合写作+独立写作两个部分组成，共计55mins，据网传的改版方向，之后会保留综合写作的部分，但是独立写作会变成学术性讨论题（discussionboardquestion），这个题型其实来源于TOEFLEssentials。
以下表格主要是展现独立写作和学术性讨论题之间的差异。
写作新题型样题一，先看油管大神给的例题。
1.先分析题干要求Thetest-takermustreadthequestionpostedbytheprofessorandth etwostudentresponses.Finally，theyshouldwritetheirownresponsewhichaddressesthequestionanda ddstotheconversation.教授抛出1个debate，提问大家的立场。
接着两个npc学生作为正反方，给出各自的观点。
托福写作评分标准
托福写作评分标准托福写作评分包括机器评分以及人工评分两部分:机器评分E-rater- 语法是否正确、用词是否得当、以及单词拼写及大小写是否准确等方面, 一篇考生的文章会经过两台机器评分.人工评分通过ETS阅卷人评分,综合写作和独立写作分别有两位阅卷人给出分数.托福写作原始分数为0-5分,考生得分分为三个levelGOOD4.0-5.0,FAIR2.5-3.5,LIMITED1.0-2.0最终成绩通过两个科目的分数取平均分,再换算为30分制的分数.详解托福综合写作的评分细则综合写作是托福写作板块中的其中一项.托福考试的写作部分分为综合Integrated writing和独立Independent writing两块,这两块分别独立评分,取平均值后得到最终的分数.也就是说,这两个部分各占一半权重,因此应给予相同程度的重视.这两部分的了解,强烈建议同学们自己去看看ETS出版的托福考试官方指南OG,OG里面对于考试形式和评分标准有非常详尽的介绍,有些同学在准备输出端考试写作或者口语的时候,居然连评分细则都不看,仅凭自己的主观臆测和对于老师讲解的依稀记忆去打造自己的文章,考不好真的不奇怪.下面,我们就来分析一下托福考试的评分细则.综合写作的满分要求是：A response at this level successfully selects the important information from the lectu5分：文章切题,阐说充分,文章有说服力;段落组织有序,衔接紧密,过渡自然,有很强的逻辑性;段落内句与句连接顺畅,句式使用恰当,灵活,娴熟;用词确切,得体.文章中有个别语法拼写错误,但不影响内容表达.4分：文章切题,阐说基本充分,在某些细节上有缺陷.段落层次组织有序,衔接紧密,过渡自然,逻辑性强;句间连接顺畅,句式使用恰当,灵活;用词基本得体.文章中有少量用词不当和语法拼写错误.3分：文章切题,阐说尚可,展开不够.段落层次组织有序,衔接紧密,过渡自然,有逻辑性;句间连接基本顺畅;有部分句法错误;用词一般,有时不得体.词性区分和拼写等有若干错误2分：文章切题,段落组织基本合理,有逻辑性,但只存在于语义层次上,语言表达上未能体现;句子框架结构基本成立,但有许多语法错误,句间联系不顺畅,往往是不善于使用逻辑连词,显得幼稚,生硬.词汇方面拼写错误多,常有用词不得体现象.1分：文章切题.阐说没有展开,只限于三言两语地回答问题;没有段落组织,很乱,长度很短,只有一段;句子排列有一定的逻辑关系,能看出各句基本框架,但结构或语法错误较多;用词不得体,拼写错误多.0分：文章各方面都有严重错误,句子不像句子.总体印象是根本没有写作能力,英语水平太低,达不到一分标准,只能打最低分.托福写作的四大官方评分标准新托福写作独立写作评分标准1：well organized and well developed 逻辑条理清楚,发展充分.每次作者在讲写作时总是把它和阅读相对照.各位考生要想拿到独立写作满分必须真正理解“八股文”的结构,千万不要写中国式的“八股文”,而应写出“美式八股文”.新托福写作独立写作评分标准2：uses specific details and examples to support you view考生的论据一定要具体、明确,且对论点有支持作用,不能空洞和泛泛而谈.新托福考试独立写作评分标准3：effectively addresses the writing topic and task.要求考生有效地阐明主题,考生千万不要跑题.考生全部跑题现象较少,但是局部跑题现象十分严重,这也是考生不能轻取高分的缘故.新托福写作独立写作评分标准4：displays language facility by demonstrating syntactic variety, word choice and idiom.通过谴词造句和习惯表达来展示语言的熟练程度这一点是各位考生经常忽视,迷惘和不清楚的一点.新托福作文占总分120 分的30分.如果想在作文上花的时间既少又要拿高分,尤其是想拿到28分甚至满分以上的同学一定要注意此项评分标准.能用first千万不要用firstly,能用finally千万不要用last but notleast. 不少同学花了很多功夫背这一外国人都不用的词组,考生在能用常用的词的情况下千万不要用偏词.电脑评分主要关注作文的哪些方面呢通过对ETS官方的一些文件进行阅读分析,我们不难发现E-raters对写作的以下几个信息点非常关注：新托福写作批改一：语法得分GrammarETS工作人员可以事前通过电脑程序输入写作中不同难度的语法现象及常犯的语法错误事例,因而对于考生的任何一篇文章电脑可以自动识别该习作是否犯了类似的语法错误及其是否使用了较为高级的语法现象.具体来讲,语法能力考查涵盖以下几点：动词使用是否错误、代词指代是否不明、物主代词是否使用正确、主谓是否一致、是否存在不完整句、是否存在粘连句等.毋庸置疑,电脑对于如上语法的判断要比人为操作更为严谨、准确.因为写作是依赖键盘操作,故需要对句子完整性和粘连现象进行评定.但依据笔者的经验,很多考生在短短30分钟是难以达到“语法完美”的程度的,但是他们的作文得分并不低.由此可见,虽然E-raters关注写作的语法得分,但是其重要性位阶是低于ETS 的评分原则的.新托福写作批改二：内容表达载体得分usage score该考查点主要关注学生能否用“较为正式的文体”来阐述自己的观点以及单词本身是否使用恰当.该评价并不关注内容是否全面、论证是否有效,而仅仅关注表达文章信息的载体语言是否满足以下几点：表达中冠词是否出现错误、是否使用不准确的词汇、单词使用形式错误排除拼写、比较信息表达错误、表达信息偏向口语或者不正式.这些信息点的测试也是通过ETS官方人员事先输入相应程序来实现的.通过电脑评价,这些缺憾更容易被识别,因为个人的主观见解在评分中是容易出现偏差的.但是这里需要提醒一点：我们不能把这些考点的重要性过于夸大,过于苛求我们的学生在托福作文考试中做到正式文体加正式的表达.根据赵质明校长的教学经验,虽然很多学生在托福作文中使用了诸如“let me take an example of myself”, “okay, that’s very amusing”之类非正式的语言,但是其习作依旧有可能获得满分的成绩.新托福写作批改三：文章文体得分mechanic score这个评分主要考查学生是否能够正确的使用英语的标点符号,是否能够满足基本的写作文体要求.具体来讲有如下几点：单词拼写、大写表达是否恰当、标点符号使用是否正确、正确的合成词使用等.一般而言,人为的评价方式对如以上项目的考查和电脑评分无异,差别并不大.由此可见,新的评分方式中加入电脑审查只不过是再次核实人为评价是否可靠、科学.新托福写作批改四：文章语言风格得分style score这是从表达载体的宏观角度全面衡量一篇文章的语言风格,比如：被动语态的使用、某些单词的重复现象、单词或者表达信息使用不恰当、是否频繁使用短句或者长句等.这也就是赵质明校长上课常常给学生讲的“word and sentence variety”.这一点托福考试的关注度要远远重于能力类的考试科目.当然,这也是很多考生最难以胜任的一项.根据笔者的教学经验,很多学生虽然有好的构思和充实的论据,但是由于文章表达方式没有符合托福必备语言风格要求的能力,其独立写作仅仅只有3分.新托福写作批改五：文章组织架构得分organization讲的通俗一点,组织架构重点考查文章某段话内信息是否衔接得当,段落之间是否逻辑清晰,不存在重复论述的现象.也就是说,文章要让读者看起来“顺畅,不产生疑惑”.这一点正是托福考试评价原则中“coherence”的体现.此外,组织结构得分还要求考生的托福作文符合一般的论文结构,即文章有总论点、分论点及分论点展开等等.这就要求我们考生的文章结构要清晰,论点逻辑关系严谨,字数要基本符合考试要求.新托福写作批改六：文章论述观点展开度评价development我相信写作老师一定对development 这个能力不陌生.无论是哪一类国外考试写作部分都涵盖了对文章观点展开详细程度的考查.而这一点恰恰也是汉语文章思维和英语的最大差异之一.汉语的句子之间类似于平行结构,而英语是树状的展开架构.如果套用汉语的思维来完成托福写作,那么文章逻辑是呈跳跃式发展的,故考官读起来会比较费力气.此外,这里还存在一个问题：根据对官方文件的阅读,我们可以看到电脑评分对文章展开的审查力度是有缺憾的.电脑主要是通过对段落内部的逻辑信息表达来判断.也就是说,即使这位考生在观点后附加了评价性语言或者使用了较为充分全面的例子,但是电脑E-raters是不能判断该例证或者因果分析是否符合托福写作之“统一性”原则,即缺乏对文章信息逻辑联系是否合理、严谨的审查能力.比如学生在托福作文中出现如下类似的表达：因为我父亲在家,所以我很爱他,电脑是不能自行进行纠正的.故我们不难看出为什么ETS依旧不愿意完全舍弃主观人为因素在评阅中的积极作用.新托福写作批改七：语言表达难度等级评价lexical complexity一篇好的文章不仅其论述手段过人,而且语言的载体功能完美地符合论文一般性要求.所以对于考生的表达词汇难度进行评价是应有之义.简而言之,如果考生能够在文章中展现自己对词汇较为高级的驾驭能力,那么他就有可能获得较高的作文分数.比如big 和enormous两种表达,后者的难度系数要大于前者.当然,我在这里需要澄清一个误区：单词量越大,作文分数越高.在托福考试的考查原则中有一项叫做“无歧视原则”,即“托福考试中不能因为某类学生对相关学科有所了解而使得他在考试中具备有内容意义上的优势.”或者说托福考试不希望看到学生故意地在炫耀自己的词汇量.所以,我希望在教学一线的老师们不要把语言类的模板直接授予学生,这样学生就不能真正的领略什么是写作,就缺乏用自己已有的语言来写出一篇符合托福评分标准文章的意识.笔者曾经教授过一名高中生,他的单词量并不大,但是由于其文章符合评价体系最后是4分.所以我不建议考生或者是我的同事在写作课上故意炫耀自己的词汇量.当然,应对托福写作,考生应该至少具备大学四级水平的词汇量 .新托福写作批改八：分论点表达能力评价specific-topic vocabulary usage这是从微观角度来衡量考生能否将其分论点阐释清晰、语言得当的标准.可以这么讲,该评价体系是对organization的细化表达,要求考生对某一个分论点进行详细的论述.需要注意一点的是：托福作文电脑评分中仅仅从单词的使用角度来考查,而没有对文章内部展开的逻辑进行验证.其原因主要是文章展开能力评测可以实现,故这里不再赘述.。
托福TPO2综合写作及写作材料
托福TPO2综合写作及写作材料托福TPO2综合写作范文及写作材料托福综合写作是要求考生根据一段阅读材料和一段听力材料来写的。
下面是店铺整理的托福TOP2综合写作范文及材料，希望能帮到大家!托福TOP2综合写作范文The lecturer talks about research conducted by a firm that used the group system to handle their work. He says that the theory stated in the passage was very different and somewhat inaccurate when compared to what happened in reality.First, some members got free rides. That is, some didn’t work hard but got recognition for the success nonetheless. This also indicates that people who worked hard were not given recognition they should have gotten. In other words, they weren’t given the opportunity to “shine”. This directly contradicts what the passage indicates.Second, groups were slow in progress. The passage says that groups are more responsive than individuals because of the number of people involved and their aggregated resources. However, the speaker talks about how the firm found out that groups were slower than individuals in decision making. Groups needed more time for meetings, which are necessary procedures in decision making. This was another place where experience contradicted theory.Third, influential people might emerge and lead the group towards glory or failure. If the influent people are going in the right direction there would be no problem. But in cases where they go in the wrong direction, there is nobody that has enough influence to counter the decision made. In other words, thegroup might turn into a dictatorship, with the influential party as the leader, and might become less flexible in its thinking. They might become one-sided, and thus fail to succeed.Rating annotation：Once you can read past what seem to be the results of poor typing, this Benchmark 5 does an excellent job of presenting the points about the contribution and recognition of group members as well as about speed of group decisions. The final paragraph contains one noticeable error (“influent”), which is then used correctly two sentences later (“influential”). Overall, this is a successful response and scored within (though perhaps not at the top of) the 5 level.阅读材料：In many organizations, perhaps the best way to approach certain new projects is to assemble a group of people into a team. Having a team of people attack a project offers several advantages.在很多机构里，恰当完成一个新项目的最好方法可能是把一组人组织成一个团队。
托福写作专攻：2分作文样例
Topic: some intensive English Programs in the United States offer a foreign Student the option of living with an American family while he or she is studying abroad. Many students feel that such a home-stay program is a valuable part of their totle learning experience. however, others may feel that such a plan offers little value. in a short essay, discuss one or two advantages of living with an American family and then state one or two diadvantages. Tell whether youare in favor of or opposed to the idea of home-stay. give examples to support your opinion.
My poinion about this subject is that it depends in (on) your level of comprehension regatd(regarding) conversational English. In other words, if you understand a considerable amount of english language(English), your best bet would be to choose living with an American family. But if your comprehension level is so low, in which a (that)basic communication is not possible, then(then it ) would be wise to(r) you to choose living with people of your same country and/or language.
TOEFL作文模板(课堂笔记)
作文语法（一）开篇1.写作多用大词,35个A large/ great/ huge/ certain peopleTremendous/ consideration/ infinite/ incomputable/ inestimable2.用who引导定语从句增长句子3.实词多变Believe/ hold/ insist/ maintain/ argue/ assert/ propose1)同意转换2）意念转移3）语法结构转换Good/ splendid/ outstanding/ excellent/ A-levelNew comer/ green hand/ novicesHigh-achieve student/ student with high abilities/student at top of the class4.结构多变This view/ idea/ viewpoint/ standpoint/ that claim…1)some who…定语从句hold the idea that…同位语claim2)some, holding this idea that…,claim…插入语3)Holding this idea that…状语开头some claim that….（二）主题思想不同意70%agree+30%disagree 题目观点的写在背景70%中同意70%disagree+30%agree 题目反义写成70%背景中使用实副词（三）名词化处理1.If you carefully compare these two teaching methods, you will find the former one issuperior.→the carefully comparison will discover…2.Because children can’t distinguish the right from the wrong, they can’t make sound decision.→the inability to distinguish the right from the wrong prevents children from making sound…Can not→inabilityMay→possibilityNeed→necessityShould→responsibility/ obligation3.when the old worker sees that he is going to retire, he begin to worried about his future→theprospect of the retirement stimulates the old worker’s anxiety of his future.（四）使动动词的改写En~ enrich enlarge enable ensure encourage endanger enslave entitle empower~en widen broaden darken deepen cheapen weaken lengthen heighten strengthen frighten Make me admire him→heighten my admiration~ize industrialize commercialize capitalize modernize democratize sensitize realize~fy purify simplify beautifyDive force render stimulate prevent allow permitmake you have few opportunities →prejudge you opportunities to do…（五）独立主格absolutely phrase谓语动词→非谓语动词Do/ does/did/will/be→doingHave/has done→having doneBe doing→doingBe to do→to doAm/is/are/was/were→beingHave/has been→having being（1）主语开头句：写10个非主语开头句（2）同位语开头句：写一个N. be n. and do n.=N. who be n. do n.(建议不写)N. , n. , do n.N. , n. do n.（3）补语开头句：写2个Other professionals like doctors and teachers, different from pop stars, create the true value of society。
托福作文批改：你是否同意政府应该更多支持艺术家-
托福作文批改：你是否同意政府应该更多支持艺术家?托福写作批改前：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The government should support artists rather than allow them to support themselves.Nowadays, some people claim that the governmentshould support artists instead of themselves. However, I think this statementcannot be beneficial to both artists and the whole society due to the pointsbelow.First of all, the assistance from theadministrators may restrict the freedom of artists. The reason is that whenartists get financial help from the government, they become the governmentemployees to some extent, which means they have to work for the government. Ifthe government needs to advocate its policies, it will try to exploit artists.Meanwhile, in order to continue getting funding from the government, artistshave to obey the instructions from the government and abandon the freedom ofcreating the works they want to create.In addition, support for artists is notfair to the society, since the artist is just a kind of occupation no otherthan the architecture, the entrepreneur or the worker in factories. If one kindof vocation can get help from the government, as far as fairness concerned, allkinds of careers should get assistance, too. However, if the truth is that theentrepreneur is striving for managing his or her enterprise but the artist caneasily get money without hard work, this phenomenon would certainly have apessimistic influence on the society and students who are determining theirfuture careers.Last but not least, permitting artists tosupport themselves can propel the competition in the art field. In order tosurvive, artists have to think hard about how to appeal audiences or theirpotential consumers so that they may struggle to show their skills and featuresto defeat other artists. In consequence, more unique works will be created andart will thrive over years.All in all, admitting artists to supportthemselves has many benefits that government support does not have and that isthe reason why I strongly believe artists should make a living on their owninstead of depending on the government.点课台写作批改后：Nowadays, some people claim that the government should support artists instead of themselves. However, I think this statement【主语不应该是statement，只是一种言论不会引起好或坏的影响】 cannot be beneficial to both artists and the whole societydue to the points below.First of all, the assistance from the administrators【government更合适】 may restrict the freedom of artists. The reason is that when artists get financial help from the government, they become the government employees to some extent, which means they have to work for the government. If the government needs to advocate its policies, it will try to exploit artists.Meanwhile, in order to continue getting funding from the government, artists have to obey the instructions from the government and abandon the freedom of creating the works they want to create【去掉。
托福作文复议成功率
托福作文复议成功率提到托福作文复议，那可真是让人又爱又恨的事儿。
就拿我自己的经历来说吧，我之前考托福的时候，自我感觉作文写得还不错。
出成绩那天，看到作文分数的那一刻，我整个人都懵了。
那分数低得让我怀疑人生，我心里那个不服气呀！当时我就想着要不要复议，可这复议到底能不能成功呢？心里真是一点底都没有。
我到处去打听，上网查资料，发现大家对于托福作文复议成功率的说法那叫一个五花八门。
有的人说复议成功的几率跟中彩票差不多，纯粹看运气；有的人又说只要你有充分的理由，成功率还是挺高的。
我就这么纠结着，一边想着那可怜的分数，一边想着复议要花的钱，心里跟猫抓似的。
我仔细回忆了我考试那天写作文的情况。
我记得当时的题目是关于科技对教育的影响。
我那是洋洋洒洒，写了好几百字。
论点清晰，论据也充分。
我先举例说现在线上课程让很多偏远地区的孩子也能享受到优质的教育资源，然后又提到了各种教育类的 APP 帮助学生更高效地学习。
为了让论述更有说服力，我还引用了一些具体的数据，比如说某个地区在引入线上课程后学生的成绩提升了多少等等。
在论证的过程中，我自认为逻辑严密，从不同的角度进行了分析。
语言表达上，我也用了不少平时积累的高级词汇和复杂的句式。
我觉得我把能做的都做了，怎么就给了这么个低分呢？后来我又去看了托福的评分标准，一条一条对照着我的作文，还是觉得不应该是这个分数。
于是，我心一横，决定复议。
交了复议的钱之后，就是漫长的等待。
那段时间，真是煎熬啊！每天都盼着能有个好消息，又害怕等来的是失望。
终于，等到了复议的结果。
当我打开邮件的那一刻，手都在抖。
看到分数提高了的时候，我简直高兴得要跳起来！通过我自己的这次经历，我觉得托福作文复议的成功率并不是一个固定的数字。
它取决于很多因素。
首先，你得真的觉得自己的作文被低估了。
这可不是盲目自信，而是要实实在在地有依据。
像我，能清楚地记得自己写了什么，怎么写的，为什么觉得分数不对。
其次，你的作文本身要有一定的质量。
改革后托福写作新题型(academic discussion)的例题与答题模版
改革后的托福写作新题型Academic Discussion 模拟线上课堂讨论，要求考生针对指定话题阐述观点并提供论据。
以下是一个例题及答题模板：例题：Professor: In the past 200 years, besides computers and mobile phones, what else has significantly changed the way we live and work?Student A: I think the Internet has had the most significant impact. It has changed the way we communicate and access information.Student B: While the Internet is important, I would argue that transportation has had a greater impact. It has made travel faster and more accessible, which has changed the way we do business and explore the world.Discussion Prompt:Based on the conversation you have just heard, write an essay in which you discuss the arguments presented by Student A and Student B, and then state your own opinion.答题模板：Introduction:In recent years, the way we live and work has been significantly influenced by various technological advancements. In a conversation about this topic, Student A and Student B presented different arguments, with Student A emphasizing the impact of the Internet and Student B highlighting the importance of transportation. In my opinion, while both arguments have their merits, I agree more with Student A's perspective.Body Paragraph 1:Student A's argument about the Internet's influence is compelling. The advent of the Internet has indeed revolutionized the way we communicate and access information. Social media platforms, online messaging apps, and email have replaced traditional forms of communication, making it faster and more efficient to connect with others across the globe. Additionally, the Internet has provided us with a vast amount of information at our fingertips, enabling us to learn and acquire knowledge on a wide range of topics.Body Paragraph 2:However, Student B's argument about the impact of transportation cannot be overlooked. The development of faster and more convenient transportation methods, such as airplanes and high-speed trains, has significantly transformed the way we travel and conduct business. These advancements have made it possible to reach distant destinations within a matter of hours, facilitating global trade and cultural exchange. Furthermore, transportation improvements have made travel more accessible to a wider population, allowing people from different backgrounds to explore the world and gain new experiences.Conclusion:While both the Internet and transportation have played crucial roles in shaping our lives and work, I believe that the Internet's influence is more profound. Its ability to connect people and provide access to a vast amount of information has had a transformative effect on society. Nonetheless, it is important to acknowledge the significance of transportation in facilitating global connectivity and accessibility. Both factors have contributed to the rapidly changing landscape of our modern world.。
2024年3月2号份托福考试作文
2024年3月2号份托福考试作文作文一：我想象中的托福考试作文。
我觉得托福考试作文肯定特别有趣。
就像我们平时写故事一样。
我要是写托福作文呀，我可能会写关于我的好朋友的事儿。
我的好朋友叫小明，他特别勇敢。
有一次，我们在公园里玩，看到一只特别大的虫子。
我当时害怕极了，都不敢动。
可是小明呢，他一点都不怕，还轻轻地把虫子放到了草丛里。
我就可以把这个事儿写进托福作文里。
我会说，勇敢是一种特别好的品质。
像小明这样勇敢的人，大家都会喜欢他。
而且他的勇敢还能帮助到别人，就像帮助那只虫子回到草丛里一样。
在托福作文里，我还想写我们的学校。
我们的学校可漂亮啦。
有好多好多的树，一到春天，树上就开满了花。
我会写在这样美丽的学校里学习是多么开心的事儿。
我们每天在教室里听老师讲课，课间的时候就在树下玩耍。
我觉得托福作文就是把我们生活里的这些美好和有趣的事儿写出来，让别人也能感受到。
这样的作文，不管是谁看了，都会觉得很有意思的。
作文二：托福考试作文的小秘密。
托福考试作文听起来好神秘哦。
不过我觉得它就像我们给远方的朋友写信一样。
比如说，我想写关于我的宠物小狗。
我的小狗叫汪汪，它超级可爱。
每天我放学回家，它就会摇着尾巴跑过来迎接我。
它的眼睛圆溜溜的，像两颗黑宝石。
它还会做很多有趣的动作，像握手呀，打滚儿呀。
我要是写托福作文，我就把汪汪的这些事儿写进去。
我会说，有一个宠物是多么幸福的事情。
它就像我们的家人一样，总是给我们带来欢乐。
我会详细地描写汪汪迎接我时的样子，它那欢快的叫声，还有它在我脚边蹭来蹭去的感觉。
再比如说，我们出去旅行的事儿也能写。
上次我们全家去海边旅行，那是我第一次看到大海。
大海好大好大呀，海水蓝得像天空一样。
沙滩上有好多贝壳，五颜六色的。
我在沙滩上跑来跑去，还堆了一个大大的沙堡。
把这些旅行中的感受和看到的美景写进托福作文里，就好像带着看作文的人一起去旅行了一样。
托福作文就是把我们生活中的点滴快乐分享给别人呀。
作文三：我对2024年3月2日托福考试作文的期待。
作文二次批改评语
作文二次批改评语I'm impressed by the improvement you have made in the second draft of your essay. Your ideas are more organized and your arguments are clearer. The overall structure of your essay is much stronger than the first draft.我对你在作文的第二稿中所做的进步印象深刻。
你的想法更有条理，论点更加清晰。
整篇文章的结构比第一稿要强大得多。
One thing that stands out to me in this second draft is the depth of your analysis. You have gone beyond surface-level observations and delved into the intricacies of the topic. This shows a high level of critical thinking and intellectual curiosity.在这篇第二稿中，一个让我印象深刻的地方是你分析的深度。
你不仅停留在表面观察，还深入探讨了这个话题的复杂性。
这显示出你高水平的批判性思维和求知欲。
Furthermore, I appreciate the way you have incorporated relevant evidence to support your arguments. Your use of examples andquotations adds credibility to your essay and demonstrates a thorough understanding of the subject matter.此外，我欣赏你如何融入相关证据来支持你的论点。
新TOEFL写作(2)
考前准备阶段
一、作文题目的主要题型 现在考试只有一种文体：议论文。20世纪80年代曾经有过的图表说明题 不再出现。根据提问形式的不同我们可以看到三种主要题型： 1 比较选择类（简称A or B类型） 给出做一件事的两种方法或对某一件事的两种意见，问考生选择其中哪一 种。这是最常见的提问方式，常用提问方式为： Compare A and B, which do you prefer? Do you prefer A or B? A and B, which do you think is better? 例如： Some people prefer to spend most of their time alone. Others like to be with friends most of the time. Do you prefer to spend your time alone or with friends? Some high schools require all students to wear school uniforms. Other high schools permit students to decide what to wear to school. Which of these two school policies do you think is better? Some people like to use computers to type letters, others like to write letters with a pen. Which do you prefer and why?
toefl 写作改革
托福考试（TOEFL）的写作部分自2023年7月26日起进行了一次较大规模的改革。
主要的改变有两点：
取消了独立写作部分：原来考生需要写一篇独立观点型的文章，现在这部分被取消。
增加了学术讨论写作：考生需要在类似综合口语中的课堂讨论板块，在10分钟内完成至少100字的观点表达。
此外，考试的总时长也从原来的1小时35分钟缩短为1小时15分钟左右，写作部分的测试占比从原来的约25%提高到了30%左右。
这样的改革对考生的写作能力提出了更高的要求，也使考试更加贴近实际生活中的应用场景。
考生需要适应新的考试模式，并做好充分的准备，以获得理想的成绩。
托福口语task2范文
托福口语task2范文英文回答:In my opinion, learning a foreign language isdefinitely beneficial. First of all, it broadens our horizons and allows us to connect with people fromdifferent cultures. For example, when I traveled to China last year, I was able to communicate with the locals in Mandarin. This not only made my trip more enjoyable, but also helped me understand their customs and traditions on a deeper level. Additionally, learning a foreign language can enhance our career prospects. Many companies today operate on a global scale and value employees who can speakmultiple languages. Being bilingual or multilingual can open doors to new job opportunities and increase our chances of success in the competitive job market.中文回答:在我看来，学习外语绝对是有益的。
首先，它拓宽了我们的视野，使我们能够与来自不同文化背景的人联系起来。
例如，去年我去中国旅行时，我能够用普通话与当地人交流。
这不仅让我的旅行更加愉快，还帮助我更深入地了解他们的风俗和传统。
TOFEL作文评分标准
TOFEL作文考试意在衡量考生对书面英语的历届、组织和运用各种英语句型、词汇来阐明自己的观点及理由的能力。
TOEFL作文的评分采取全面评判的形式，即重点考核总体的表达效果，而不过分用语法上的标准来细究结构、拼写、边点和词汇用法之类的错误。
考生会因文章整体表达效果而得分。
一、六分标准：文章切题；阐述充分，即能展开讨论，论据或说明比较充分，文章具有说服力；段落组织有序，衔接紧密、过度自然，有很强的逻辑性；段落内句与句连接顺畅，句式使用恰当、灵活、成熟；用词准确、得体。
文章中可有个别语法和拼写错误，但不影响内容表达。
通篇文章给人的印象是作者有较强的写作能力，在修辞、句法、词汇等方面的英语水平达到了一定的高度。
二、五分标准：文章切题；阐述基本充分，在某些细节上有缺陷；段落层次组织有序，衔接紧密、过度自然、逻辑性强；句子间联系顺畅，句式使用恰当、灵活，有少量语法错误；用词基本得体，有少量用词不当和拼写错误。
文章给人的总体印象是作者有较强的写作能力，英语水平不错，但与六分作文相比，文章的错误略多，作者的语言功底略欠缺。
三、四分标准：文章切题；阐述尚可，展开不够；段落组织有序，衔接紧密，有逻辑性；句子间连接基本顺畅，有部分语法错误；用词一般，有时不得体（如"大词"与"小词"随便使用，缺少文体意识），词性区分和拼写有若干错误。
总体印象是文章框架结构与连贯较好，各方面的错误有一些，英语水平一般化。
四、三分标准：文章切题；段落组织基本合理，有逻辑性，但只存在于语义层次上，语言表层上未能体现；句子框架结构基本成立，但有许多语法错误，句间联系不顺畅，由于不善于使用逻辑连接词显得语言幼稚、生硬；词汇方面拼写错误多，常有词不达意的现象。
总体印象是英语水平不够、写作能力较差，基本的词、词法、句法等功底有限，修辞与文体知识尚未入门，能勉强表达自己，但表达能力收到语言水平的限制。
五、二分标准：文章切题；阐述没有展开，只是局限于三言两语地回答问题；没有段落组织，很乱，文章很短，只有一段；句子排列有一定的逻辑关系，能看出各句的基本框架，但结构或语法错误较多；用词不得体，拼写错误多。
托福综合写作能力：归纳及改写
托福综合写作能力：归纳及改写托福综合写作必备能力：归纳及改写托福考试中，托福写作是最考核考生英语水平及能力的部分。
在托福写作部分拿下高分已然不易，写一篇托福满分作文着实不易。
以下是yjbys网店铺整理的关于托福综合写作必备能力：归纳及改写，供大家备考。
托福综合写作“归纳”，就是考生能够把握托福综合写作阅读材料和听力材料中论证的重点，也即观点和论点。
对于阅读材料，如何归纳呢?以TPO29托福综合写作阅读其中一段材料为例：First, the edmontosaur's diet supports the migration hypothesis. Edmontosaurs fed exclusively on plants. Since there would have been no plants growing during the cold and dark North Slope winter, it appears that the edmontosaur must have left for at least part of the year and migrated to more temperate zones to find food.概括内容为：Edmontosaurs fed exclusively on plants----- have to leave the cold and dark North Slope winter to more temperate zones to find food .对应的托福听力材料：First, the edmontosaur did not have to migrate to find food. One hundred million years ago the summer temperatures in the North Slope area were warmer than they are today. And remember in arctic regions like the North Slope the sun shines 24 hours a day at the peak of the summer, the warm temperatures and the extensive daylight created incredibly good growing conditions for plants, so much vegetation was produced during the summer that when the vegetation died as the winter came, there was a lot of nutritious dead vegetation around in the winter. The edmontosaur could have easily lived on the dead plant matter during in the winter.概括为：Edmontosaurs did not have to migrate to find food---the summer temperatures in the North Slope area were warmer than they are today,there was a lot of nutritious dead vegetation around in the winter.这里需要注意的是：由于听力材料只听一遍，在发挥托福综合写作概括能力之前，考生需要根据阅读材料的内容预测听力内容的重点并带着预测来听。
托福写作22分复议到27的技巧
托福写作22分复议到27的技巧托福考试结束后，对于写作部分，如果同学们对于成绩有所疑义，可以选择进行复议。
但是复议也存在着一定的风险，那么如何能够让写作复议成功呢?下面小编就整理了相关的技巧。
让我们一起来看看吧!托福写作22分复议到27的技巧关于托福复议的规则：首先我们要了解托福考试成绩复议的规则。
考生在考试结束后三个月内，可对托福的写作和口语考试成绩提出复议。
可申请写作或口语单项复议，也可同时对两项提出申请。
关于我的考试情况：我2013年12月7日考的，总成绩为98分，写作的原始成绩得了22分，当时我就觉得有点问题。
之后在评分细节中我看到，我的独立写作得分是在最高一档“good：4-5”，而最容易的综合写作却是“2.5-3.5”。
在在备考的时候，我对托福写作上所花的时间是最多的，而且考试的时候我自己做题的感觉也很好，综合考虑之下，我就果断决定申请托福写作成绩的复议。
我的托福写作复议流程：我在网上查到成绩的第二天，就开始了我复议的过程。
首先我登陆报名网站首页，网上支付480元复议费。
然后通过“查看已注册信息”下载复议申请表，之后要填写复议申请表、签字(手写、机填均可)，然后把申请表发邮件至****************。
当然你也选择传真或者邮寄。
托福考试ETS中国办公室的传真号码，邮寄寄的地址是中国北京市海淀区清华科技园立业大厦教育部考试中心托福iBT考试服务中心。
好了，做完以上的步骤，就只需关注钱是否已经被扣，如已扣，表明已进入审核队列，等待即可。
我可能比较幸运，我的确认邮件3天就收到了，再过了5个工作日，我居然奇迹的在网上看到，我的成绩已经被提高到了25，这样我的总分从98变成了101，成功破100分。
所以我非常庆幸我选择了写作成绩的复议。
我对托福写作复议的建议：虽然我比较相信自己，但是复议是有风险的，其实复议之后分数降低的不占少数，所以如果你的写作分数已经比较高，或者你对这成绩没有太多的疑问，那我建议你还是三思而行。
托福综合写作评分标准
托福综合写作评分标准
托福综合写作的评分标准主要包括四个方面，分别是任务完成度、内容发展、语言表达和语言控制。
1. 任务完成度（Task fulfillment）
评分标准：文章是否完整、准确、准确地回答了题目所要求的问题，并且是否符合写作任务的要求。
2. 内容发展（Development）
评分标准：文章中是否有系统的内容发展；是否有清晰的主题陈述、适当的支持示例，内容是否连贯、有条理。
3. 语言表达（Language use）
评分标准：文章是否使用了适当的语言表达方式，使用了正确的语法、拼写和标点符号。
是否使用了恰当的词汇以及语言表达是否清晰、准确、得体。
4. 语言控制（Language control）
评分标准：文章中是否使用了恰当的文化背景和语言风格。
是否使用了恰当的语态和语气，以及是否使用了准确而连贯的句子结构，是否使用了恰当的单复数形式。
每个方面的评分都是从0到5分，总分是20分，所以要想获得高分，需要在每个方面都表现出色。
托福写作高分满分范文点评和思路解析汇总
托福写作高分满分范文点评和思路解析汇总为了让大家更好的预备托福考试，我给大家整理了托福考试满分范文,下面我就和大家共享，来观赏一下吧。
托福写作高分满分范文点评和思路解析：读写力量在现代社会的重要性托福写作难点话题一览Is literacy more important today than in the past?Is the ability to read and write more important today than in the past? Why or why not? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.写作思路绽开结构分析肯定程度上，同意这个说法。
(In a sense, it is true that…)阅读并理解(Comprehend)的力量，在信息过度丰富的今日，更加重要。
现代人的阅读量要比过去高出很多倍(过去高校生就是很高的学历，现在博士后[postdoctoral]才算是高学历)。
需要更多的力量去辨别真伪。
写作的力量更是如此，比如在工作中，写报告是一项重要内容，公司的规模越大，越是如此。
没有写作力量，就等于没有升迁机会。
本话题高分范文赏析As the world becomes smaller and smaller due to the process of globalization, it becomes more and more important that everyone learnshow to read and write. If one is to keep up with the fast pace of the world, literacy skills are of utmost importance.Technology is expanding at an ever-increasing rate. Computers, and the Internet, have become common terms in almost all nations in the world. If one wants to be able to communicate with others using this efficient method, one must learn the basics of reading and writing. The objects we have in our home are also becoming increasingly more complicated. For example, if one wants to use a DVD player with their television, one must be able to read the manual to learn how to work it. Even the most basic technologies come with an instruction guide: if one is unable to read, they will constantly be struggling to figure out how to work these technologies.As mentioned above, the world is becoming much smaller. More people are finding it necessary to leave their homes in small towns and villages, moving to the big cities where there is more opportunity. Some of these people find it quite difficult to navigate around the city, as one must know how to read in order to understand the street signs. If one cannot find the place where one has to report for work, it would be very difficult to make a living.Finally and perhaps most importantly, being able to read and write gives us the opportunity to think for ourselves. Wherever we are, people in authority positions tell us what we should believe. However, in manycases, it is not in our own best interest to follow the leaders ideas. People must learn to read and then examine the information for themselves. This is the only way that culture can evolve. Therefore, I think the skills of reading and writing are of vast importance, no matter where one lives in the world. The world population will continue to grow, and the only way to keep ahead is to learn to read and write.托福写作高分满分范文点评和思路解析：介绍代表国家的象征托福写作难点话题一览The thing representing your countryIf you were asked to send one thing representing your country to an international exhibition, what would you choose? Why? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.写作思路绽开结构分析这道题目自由度很高，对中国考生来说应当也很简单想到各种代表性的事物，比如中国特产的吉利物大熊猫，或者中国瓷器，这些都是对老外来说也特别具有中国特色，耳熟能详的事物。
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TOEFL作文评改（二）To Build a Community Shopping Center– NOI. EssayTopic:It has recently been announced that a large shopping center may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.This problem is a much-debated one that it affects everyone in their daily lives. (This issue is a controversial one that affects the daily lives of everyone.)(“daily lives”)(A)People may prefer one to another, although some have no idea about it. (People usually take one sides over the other, despite not having any idea about the subject.)(“take one side over the other”) (B) But if I am concerned, I can only disagree with the title statement and the reasons are given below. (But in my case, I cannot take any one side and only disagree with the title statement for my reasons below.)With reference to environment and pollution, the reason why I disagree to build a shopping center near the community is that it may bring much noise. (With regard to the environment and pollution, the reason why I disagree with building a shopping center near my community is that it would be very noisy.) (1) They may disturb people’s daily life.(Shopping centers can disrupt the daily lives of people.) If there is a shopping mall, it must attract thousands of people to visit and, of course, a lot of noise and rubbish are produced. (If a shopping mall were built, it would attract thousands of people and consequently, a lot of noise and trash as well.) (2) (“thousands of people”) (C)Second, because shopping center must be occupy many spaces. (Secondly, shopping centers occupy a lot of space.) (3) As a result the community will get more and more crowded, and also lose some grassland. We can’t see the green trees behind the shopping mall. (We will not be able to see the green trees behind the shopping mall.)We can’t appreciate the night sky clearly.(We will not be able to appreciate the night sky clearly.) What we may see is a mess.Finally, if all this happens, what direct result is that it seriously affects people’shealth.(Finally, if a shopping center were built, the overall result would have an adverse affect on people’s health.)Living in a crowded and noisy community, you can’t find green grass to rest on. Only you can breathe is polluted air. (You can only breathe polluted air.)How can human beings live healthy in such unpleasant surroundings?Again, I would state my objection to this issue after analyzing the three reasons. Building a shopping center near the community is the wrong choice. It will harmful both the environment and human beings. (It would harm both the environment and human beings.)II. Editorial Comments1. Original:With reference to environment and pollution, the reason why I disagree tobuild a shopping center near the community is that it may bring muchnoise. Revised: With regard to the environment and pollution, the reason why Idisagree with building a shopping center near my community is that it would be very noisy.Disagree with something表示不同意某事，Disagree to do表示不同意做某事。
这里用disagree with表示有人提议建一个购物中心，但我不同意这个建议。
不是不同意去做。
it may bring much noise是中式英语表达法，不地道。
2. Original:If there is a shopping mall, it must attract thousands of people to visit and,of course, a lot of noise and rubbish are produced. Revised: If a shopping mall were built, it would attract thousands of people and consequently, a lot of noise and trash as well.首先在if从句中，动词要用虚拟语态，这一点我们在第一章中已经提到。
其次，为求简洁，多个客体都可以用一个动词表达，只要不会造成歧义。
如此句中的people, noise和trash都可以用attract修饰。
3. Original:Second, because shopping center must be occupy manyspaces. Revised: Secondly, shopping centers occupy much space.副词Secondly放在局首，引导整个句子。
Space是不可数名词，用much，而不是many。
III. Alternative ExpressionsA. The expression ―daily lives‖ re fers to ordinary lives of people in their dailyexistence.Example: People tend to get involved in their daily lives and often don’t time for themselv es.Other ways to express:(i) ―day to day‖ –Example: As the weather changes, one’s day to day activiti es alsochange.(ii) ―daily rut‖ –Example: Most people fall into the daily rut of working and don’t find time to relax.B. To ―take one side over the other‖ refers to take a position or favor something/personor another thing or person. Example: He took one side over the other although he wasn’t clear on the argument. Other similar expressions include:(i) ―side with‖ –Example: He sided with his brother’s opinion.(ii) ―in favor of‖ –Example: He is in favor of taking the train instead of the plane toShanghai.C. The expression ―thousands of people‖ is an overly used expression signifying a massquantity of people. Alternative ways to express a mass quantity of people in a rush for an event include: (i) ―hordes of people‖, (ii) ―herds of people‖, (iii) ―swarm of people‖.——选自《手把手教你TOEFL作文》。