课前五分钟智力趣味幽默星沙英语网
课前三分钟关于课前三分钟英语笑话
课前三分钟关于课前三分钟英语笑话关于课前三分钟英语笑话关于课前三分钟英语笑话关于课前三分钟英语笑话：Shoulda Said This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever. “Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you“ "Dogs can"t talk, pal. But if you can prove to me yours does, I"ll give you a drink. If not, I get to kick your ass." "Okay," says the guy. He turns to his dog. "Okay fella. Tell me -- what is on top of your doghouse" "Roof!" The man turns and smiles at the bartender. "THAT ain"t talking! Any dog can bark!" "Okay boy. Tell me -- how does sandpaper feel" "Ruff!" "What the hell are you tryin" to pull, mister" "Okay, okay," says the man. "One more question please. Okay buddy, tell me -- who is the greatest ball player who ever lived" "Ruth." The bartender beats the hell out of the guy and throws onto the sidewalk outside of the bar, then throws the dog out next to him. The dog stands up and looks at the guy. "Geez. D"ya think I shoulda said DiMaggio" 关于课前三分钟英语笑话：A Second Opinion A man runs into the vet"s office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead. The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion. The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog"s body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog"s body and finally looks at the vet and meows. The vet looks at the man and says, "I"m sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead too."The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. The vetbrings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and says, "I"m sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too." The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, "$650." "$650 to tell me my dog is dead" exclaimed the man... "Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests." 关于课前三分钟英语笑话：Shoulda Said This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever. "Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you" "Dogs can"t talk, pal. But if you can prove to me yours does, I"ll give you a drink. If not, I get to kick your ass." "Okay," says the guy. He turns to his dog. "Okay fella. Tell me -- what is on top of your doghouse" "Roof!" The man turns and smiles at the bartender. "THAT ain"t talking! Any dog can bark!" "Okay boy. Tell me -- how does sandpaper feel" "Ruff!" "What the hell are you tryin" to pull, mister" "Okay, okay," says the man. "One more question please. Okay buddy, tell me -- who is the greatest ball player who ever lived" "Ruth." The bartender beats the hell out of the guy and throws onto the sidewalk outside of the bar, then throws the dog out next to him. The dog stands up and looks at the guy. "Geez. D"ya think I shoulda said DiMaggio" 关于课前三分钟英语笑话：The Mime and the LionOne day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. However, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zookeeper explains to the mime that the zoo"s most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly. The keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts. The next morning, before the crowd arrives, the mime puts on thegorilla suit and enters the cage. He discovers that it"s a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he gets bored just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion"s cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it. At the end of the day the zookeeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction as a gorilla. Well, this goes on for some time. The mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion, he slips and falls. The mime is terrified. The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, "Help, Help me!", but the lion is quick andpounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, "Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired"。
有趣的五分钟英语演讲
有趣的五分钟英语演讲有趣的五分钟英语演讲有趣的五分钟英语演讲1Good morning everyone，may I have your attention，please?I am glad to be able to give a lecture on this classroom. This once , I want to talk about English. My topic of conversation is that I love English.As everyone knows,English is very important today.It has been used everywhere in the world.It has become the most common language on Internet and for international trade. If we can speak English.well,we will have more chance to succeed.Because more and more people have taken notice of it,the number of the people who go to learn English has increased at a high speed.But for myself,I learn English not only because of its importance and its usefulness,but also because of my love for it.When I learn English, I can feel a different way of thinking which gives me more room to touch the world.When I read English novels,I can feel the pleasure from the book which is different from reading the translation.When I speak English, I can feel the confident from my words.When I write English,I can see the beauty which is not the same as our Chines.I love English,it gives me a colorful dream.I hope I can travel around the world one day. With my good English, I can make friends with many people from different contries.I can see many places of great intrests.I dream that I can go to London,because it is the birth place of English.I also want to use my good English to introduce our great places to the English spoken people,I hope that they can love ourcountry like us.I know, Rome was not built in a day. I believe that after continuous hard study, one day I can speak English very well.If you want to be loved, you should learn to love and be lovable. So I believe as I love English everyday , it will love me too.I am sure that I will realize my dream one day!Thank you!有趣的五分钟英语演讲2Dear judges:I am very glad to make a speech here ! Today I'd like to talk something about English.I love English. English language is now used everywhere in the world. It has become the most common language on Internet and for international trade. Learning English makes me confident and brings me great pleasure.When I was seven, my mother sent me to an English school. At there, I played games and sang English songs with other kids . Then I discovered the beauty of the language, and began my colorful dream in the English world.Everyday, I read English following the tapes. Sometimes, I watch English cartoons.On the weekend, I often go to the English corner. By talking with different people there, I have made more and more friends as well as improved my oral English.I hope I can travel around the world someday. I want to go to America to visit Washington Monument, because the president Washington is my idol. Of course, I want to go to London too, because England is where English language developed. If I can ride my bike in Cambridge university, I will be very happy.I hope I can speak English with everyone in the world. I'll introduce China to them, such as the Great Wall, the Forbidden City and Anshan.。
少儿英语课前三分钟笑话
少儿英语课前三分钟笑话1.少儿英语课前三分钟笑话篇一Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents' hou se.At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their praye rs, when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs: "I pra y for a bicycle.I pray for a new toy."His older brother leaned over, nudged him and said, "Why are you s houting your prayers? God isn't deaf."To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"孩子的祈祷两个小男孩在祖父母家过夜。
睡觉的时候，两个小男孩跪在床边开始祈祷，这时小一些的孩子扯开嗓子大声喊道：“我祈求得到一辆自行车。
我祈求有一个新玩具。
”他的哥哥靠过来，用肘轻碰他说：“你为什么这么大声喊叫呢？上帝又不是聋子。
”弟弟回答说：“是的，可是奶奶听不到呀！”2.少儿英语课前三分钟笑话篇二A professor was giving a big test one day to his students.He hand ed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in.T he professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."The next class the professor handed the tests back out.This studen t got back his test and $64 change.一天，教授正在给学生们监考。
五分钟儿童英语笑话故事
五分钟儿童英语笑话故事1.五分钟儿童英语笑话故事visual training视力训练the squad(班，小队) were having “visual training”. one smart recruit(新兵，招募) was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field. the party was so faraway(遥远的，恍惚的.) that the men appeared as mere dots, but unhesitatingly(迅速地) the recruit replied：班里正在进行“视力训练”。
一个聪明伶俐的新兵被班长叫出来数远处旷野上采掘队的人数。
采掘队在很远的地方，那些人看起来只是一些小点儿。
但是这个新兵毫不犹豫地回答。
“sixteen men and a sergeant(中士，军士) , sir.”“十六个兵外加一个中士，长官。
”“right, but how do you know there’s a sergeant there?”“正确，可是你怎么知道那儿有一个中士?”“he’s not doing any digging, sir.”“他不干活，长官。
”2.五分钟儿童英语笑话故事这钟准吗?Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city.丹在一个大城市的某个俱乐部当守门人。
Everyday, thousands of people passed his door,每天都有数千人经过他的门口，and a lot of them stopped and asked him, “What’sthe time, please?”而且许多人都会停下来问他:“请问现在几点?”After a few months, Dan said to himself, “I’m not going to answer all those stupid people any more.几个月后，丹想:“我不想再回答这些蠢人提出的问题了，I’m going to buy a big clock我要去买一只大钟，and put it upon the wall here.”把它挂在这儿的墙上。
英语课前三分钟演讲稿幽默（精选15篇）
英语课前三分钟演讲稿幽默（精选15篇）英语课前三分钟幽默篇1Learn How to Say NoWe've all been taught that we should help people. It is the right thing to do and will make us popular with others. It may even win us favors in return. However, we must be realistic. We can't say yes to every request. If we did, we would fail or go crazy for sure. Sometimes we simply don't have the time to help. In this case, we must know how to say no politely.When we need to say no, here is one method we can try. First, we should tell the truth. If we really can't do something, we should just say so. Second, we should remember to refuse requests politely. We must communicate clearly, but must also be sincere and sympathetic. A true friend will understand. Finally, we must not feel guilty about saying no. Sometimes refusing others is the right thing to do. It can save ourselves, and them, a lot of trouble. In short, we cannot please everyone all the time. Refusing favors is a part of life.学习如何说不我们都被教导说，我们应该要帮助别人。
英语幽默笑话5分钟
英语幽默笑话5分钟下面是为您整理的关于“英语幽默笑话5分钟”，希望对您有所帮助。
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英语幽默笑话5分钟1.A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid.'这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。
如果你只有65岁的话，千万别进退休社区。
因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。
每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。
”2.Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.妈妈：弗雷迪，你的脸为什么那么红?弗雷迪：我刚才在大街上跑，为的是阻止一次打架?妈妈：你做的对，谁和谁在打架。
弗雷迪：我和杰克·史密斯。
3.A distinguished clergyman and the elders from his congregation attended an out-of-town meeting that did not finish until rather late. They decided to have something to eat before goint home, but unfortunately the only spot open was a seedy bar-and-grill with a questionable reputation.After being served, one of the elders asked the clergyman to say grace. 'I'd rather not,', the clergyman said, ' I don't want Him to know I'm here.'一位著名牧师和他教区的几位老人出席城外会议直到天黑才开完会，他们打算在回家前吃点东西。
英语课前三分钟笑话[英语幽默短文带翻译]
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英语课前三分钟笑话[英语幽默短文带翻译]英语幽默短文带翻译英语幽默短文带翻译幽默是心灵的微笑。
最深刻的幽默是一颗受了致命伤的心灵发出的微笑。
幽默是心灵的微笑。
最深刻的幽默是一颗受了致命伤的心灵发出的微笑。
小编精心收集了英语幽默短文带翻译，供大家欣赏学习! 英语幽默短文带翻译篇1 Where is the father父亲在哪儿Text(正文): Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. “Look,“ said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." 父亲在哪儿兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀!” “是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。
那爸爸去哪儿了呢” 哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。
” 英语幽默短文带翻译篇2 a teacher said to her class：“who was the first man” 有个老师问班上的学生：“谁是第一个男人” “george washington，”a little boy shouted promptly."乔治·华盛顿，”一个小男孩当即叫道。
一分钟英语小笑话大全
一分钟英语小笑话大全篇一：英语幽默小笑话大全英语幽默小笑话大全1.a kissAt a dinner party, the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word “KISS” scribbl ed on it.The guest seated next to the speaker said, “Your wife must love you very much, I see her send you a ‘KISS’ before you begin your speech.”The speaker smiled and explained, “You don’t know my wife. The ‘KISS’ she give me stands for ‘Keep It Short, Stupid.’”2.A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid, stand up!”Little Johnny then stood up.The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid, Johnny?”“No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”她一开始就说。
英语课前三分钟笑话【英语短篇笑话两到三分钟带翻译】
英语课前三分钟笑话【英语短篇笑话两到三分钟带翻译】人之所以异于禽兽,最明显的一条就是爱看人出笑话,甚至连自己出的笑话也感兴趣,收藏笑话书是大家共同的爱好,特别是相声界和漫画界的人。
下面是小编带来的英语短篇笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!英语短篇笑话带翻译篇一TwobirlsTeacher:Herearetwobirds,oneisaswallow,theotherissparrow .Nowwhocantelluswhichiswhich?Student:IcannotpointoutbutIknowtheanswer.Teacher:Pleasetellus.Student:Theswallowisbesidethesparrowandthesparrowisbesi detheswallow.两只鸟老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。
谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗?学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
英语短篇笑话带翻译篇二TheFishNet"Canyoutellmewhatfishnetismade,Ann?""Alotoflittleholestiedtogetherwithstrings."repliedtheli ttlegirl.鱼网"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?"老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
"小女孩回答道。
英语短篇笑话带翻译篇三TheNewTeacherGeorgecomesfromschoolonthefirstofSeptember. "George,howdidyoulikeyournewteacher?"askedhismother."Ididn\'tlikeher,Mother,becauseshesaidthatthreeandthree weresixandthenshesaidthattwoandfourweresixtoo....."新老师9月1日，乔治放学回到家里。
有趣英文课前五分钟演讲稿
有趣英文课前五分钟演讲稿这是一篇由网络搜集整理的关于有趣英文课前五分钟演讲稿的文档，希望对你能有帮助。
【有趣英文课前五分钟演讲稿1】Honorable judges, distinguished guests, ladies and gentlemen:It is a great honor and pleasure to be here on this beautiful Saturday morning to share with you my sentiments about life and passion for the English language.About a year and a half ago, I took part in my very first English Speech Contest. When I stood before the microphone with all eyes starring directly at me, I could hardly speak. I stood there, embarrassed and helpless, struggling in vain for the right thing to say. My fears had paralyzed me.While my passion for English has never changed, I lost my courage to speak in public. When my professor again encouraged me to take part in this Competition, I said “no.” I couldn’t endure yet another painful experience. He looked me straight in the eye and said something that pierced my heart. I will never forget his words. “Look,” he said, “We all have our fears, and you have yours. You could twist your ankle in a basketball game, but then be afraid to ever play again. Running away can never dispel your fears, but action will. A winner is not one who never fails，but one who never quits.”I spent a whole day with his words twisting and turning in my mind. ThenI made the bravest and wisest decision of my life: I would face my fears – and take part in the competition!As it turned out, my dear old professor was right. Now, here I am, once again standing before a microphone. My heart is beating fast, and my mouth is dry, but most importantly, I have faced my fears -- and that makes all the difference!Thank you.【有趣英文课前五分钟演讲稿2】Today I am very glad to be here to share with you my ideas of success. What is success? It is what everyone is longing for.Sometimes success would be rather simple. Winning a game is success; getting a high grade in the exam is success; making a new friend is success; even now I am standing here giving my speech is somehow also success.However, as a person’s whole life is concerned, success be comes very complicated. Is fortune success? Is fame success? Is high social status success? No, I don’t think so. I believe success is the realization of people’ s hopes and ideals.Nowadays, in the modern society there are many people who are regarded as the successful. And the most obvious characteristics of hem are money, high position and luxurious life. So most people believe that s success and all that they do is for this purpose. But the problem is wether it is real success. We all know there are always more money, higher position and better condition in front of us. If we keep chasing them, where is the end? What will satisfy us at last? Therefore,we can see, to get the real Success we must need something inside, which is the realization of people’ h opes and ideals.Different people have different ideas about success; cause people’s hopes and ideas vary from one another. But I am sure every success is dear to everybody, cause it is not easy to come by, cause in the process of our striving for success, we got both our body and soul tempted, meanwhile we are enlightened by the most valuable qualities of human beings: love, patient, courage and sense of responsibility. These are the best treasures. So now I am very proud that I have this opportunity to stand here speaking to all of you. It is my success, cause I raise up to challenge my hope.What is success? Everyone has his own interpretation as I do. But I am sure every success leads to an ever-brighter future. So ladies and gentlemen, believe in our hopes, believe in ourselves, we, every one of us, can make。
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Unit 10 Section A一、写出下列动词的过去式1.help______e______3.stop______4.stay______5.swim______6.have______7.find______8.make______ 9.decide______ 10.fly______ 11.see______ 12.lose______ 13.walk______ 14.eat______二、单词拼写1.How's the weather? It's ________.(雨) 2.We are studying for________.(考试)3.They went to ________(中央) Park last Saturday.4.Where did you go on ________?(假期)5.What did she ________(想) of her shoes?6.How are the people? They are ________.(不友好)7.I_______(参观) the museum yesterday. 8.Today the weather is very cool, so we ______(决定) to play tennis. 9.I don't like going shopping. It's________(拥挤). 10.At night, I listened to the sound of ______(波浪).11.My father likes to take a bus ______(旅行). He thinks it's relaxing.12.The mooncakes with eggs in them are ______(美味的). 13.She had great ______(困难) finding a job.三、单项选择1.We have great fun ___ in the waves(海浪). A. play B. to play C. playing D. playedst night, we ___ to the cinema(电影院). A. go B. goes C. went D. good3.She helped him ___ his father. A. to find B. finding C. look for D. to look for4.I didn't have any money ___ a taxi. A. to B. for C. at D. by5.They played tennis from breakfast ___ lunch. A. to B. till C. at D. for6.The delicious food makes me feel ___. A. hungrily B. hunger C. hungry D. hungrier7.We ususally go to school _______ Monday _______ Friday.A.between, andB. from, tillC.from, and8.Every one _____ an English story book. A. have B. are having C. has9.What did you have _____ breakfast this morning? A. at B. for C. to10.Where did Vera go ______ vacation? A. for B. in C.on四、补全对话:A: Hi, David. I haven’t seen you for a long time. B: I ______ ______ my vacation.A: Really? ______ did you go on vacation. B: I _____ to the beach.A: How was the _______? B: _____ hot and humid.A: ____ you swim? B: Yes, I did. The weather was really warm. What about you?___ was your vacation?A:It’s ______. I went nowhere. I _____ at home.五、完型填空: John worked in an office in a small town. One day his boss 1 him, “John, I want you to go to London, and to 2 Mr Black. Here’s the address. His office is near the station.”Joh went to London 3 train. He left the station and thoug ht, “The office isn’t 4 the station. I’ll find it5 .”But after an hour he was still looking for it, so he stopped and asked an old woman. She said, “Just go along this street, turn left 6 the end, and it’s the 7 building on the right.” John went and found it.8 days later, John went to the same city, 9 again he didn’t find the office , so he asked someone the way. It’ was 10 old woman! She was very surprised and said, “Are you still looking for that place?”1. A. said B. said to C. talked to D. spoke2. A.see B. watch C. look D. found3.A.on B.by C. with D.in4. A. next to B. near C. far from D.in front of5. A. easy B. easily C.slowly D.early6. A. by B. to C. at D. on7. A. five B.twelve C.third D. twenty 8. A.Much B. A few C.A little D. A lot9. A. because B. when C.but D.so 10. A.different B.same C. the different D.the same六、阅读理解:(A) One day an Indian went to see his doctor. The doctor looked over(仔细检查) him and said, “Medicine (药)won’t help you. You must have a good rest. Go to a quiet place in the country for a month, go to bed early, drink milk, walk a lot and smoke(抽烟) only one cigarette(雪茄) a day.” A month later the Indian came to see the doctor again, “How are you?” said the doctor. “I’m glad to see you again. You look much younger.” “Oh, doctor, I feel quite well now,” said the Indian. “I had a good rest, I went to bed early. I drank a lot of milk. I walked a lot. You certainly (当然)helped me. But you told me to smoke one cigarette a day, and that one cigarette a day almost killed(杀死) me at first. It’s not a joke to begin smoking at my age.”1.One day an Indian ________ .A.wasn’t feeling wellB.went to see a friend.C.felt very tiredD. went to his doctor and helped him2.His doctor _______.A.could not help himB. was good to himC. told him what to doD. was glad to see him3. When the Indian came to see the doctor again __________.A.the Indian was youngerB.the doctor was not freeC.the Indian felt quite wellD.the doctor looked him over again.4. The Indian told the doctor ___________.A. he liked doing all those thingsB. he alomost killed himC. he smoked more than one cigarette a dayD. one cigarette a day was very difficult at the beginning5. From the story we can guess _________.A.the Indian was not a young manB. the doctor was very carefulC.the doctor was a good doctorD. the Indian would go on smoking(B) More than one hundred years ago, there 1 a great French scientist with the name Ampere.One day, Mr Ampere went out for 2 in the street. There were 3 people and much traffic (交通车辆)there. But all this was nothing to him. He was thinking about a maths 4 . He had no paper with him.5 could he work it out?Then he saw a blackboard 6 him. He quickly walked up to it. He 7 a piece of chalk(粉笔) and wrote his problem on the blackboard. Then he started 8 on it. The blackboard moved a little, but he didn’t notice(注意). The blackboard moved on, and Mr Ampere walked after it. Then he started to run. But the blackboard moved faster and faster. At last he stopped 9 .What did he see? Why, the “blackboard” was 10 a blackboard. It was the back of a carriage(四轮马车)! 1. A. is B. was C.are D. were 2. A. shopping B.a lesson C. a walk D.school3. A. a lot of B.much C.a lot D. few4. A.book B.question C. homework D.problem5. A. What B.How C.When D. Why6. A. in front of B.at the foot of C.at the foot of D.next to7. A.made B.took out C.needed D.borrowed 8. A.to answer B. to read C. to work D. to think9. A. to have a rest B. to have a walkC.to have a testD. to have a look 10. A. really B. not C. like D. just( C) Mr Irvine was a very busy lawyer(律师). He always worked all day. Sometimes he could not have a rest on Sundays, so he usually forgot(忘记) the date.Last Saturday, he remembered it was his wife’s birthday. “I often forget her birthday,” he said to hi mself(他自己). “but not this time.” Then he went to a flower shop and bought some beautiful flowers on his way home. When Mr Irvine got home, he gave the flowers to Mrs Irvine and said, “Happy birthday! March 10 is your birthday. I don’t forget it this time.”“But my birthday was yesterday. It’s March 11 today. Anyway(不管怎样)thank you all the same.” Said Mrs Irvine.1.Mr Irvine was a ____man, so he usually forgot something. A. free B. busy C.happy D. young2.Mr Irvine thought that Saturday was ____, but he was wrong.A.March 8B. March 9C. March 10D. March 113.He bought some flowers ______.A.after he went homeB. before he finished his work.C. on SundayD. before he got home4.When Mr Irvine gave the flowers to his wife, she __________.A.was happy because it was her birthdayB. said nothingC.wasn’t happy because he forgot her birthday.D. thanked him for the flowers5.From this passage , we know that Mr Irvine _______.A.remembered his wife’s birthday, but forgot the date.B.Remembered the date, but forgot her birthday.C.Remembered the date and his wife’s birthday.D.Forgot both the date and his wife’s birthday七、句型转换: 1.My vacation was great!(划线提问) ______ was your vacation?2.I went to summer camp during my holiday.(划线提问)_____ _____ you _____ during your holiday?3.The weather was hot and humid.(划线提问)______ was the weather?4.Ann went to the mountain by car.(划线提问)______ ______ Ann ______ to the mountain?5.Tom was in the New York City last year.(一般疑问句) ______ Tom in the New York City last year?Unit 10 Section B一、用所给单词的正确形式填空1.She has fun ________(swim) in a river.2.Rose decided ________(play) football on the ground.3.He wants ________(buy) an expensive car.4.They often help me ________(learn) English.5.This thing makes me ________(feel) happy.6.They ________(not go) to the beach last Sunday.7.A little girl was ________(lose) in the forest(森林). 8._______ you ________(visit) the museum last week?9.I found a girl ________(cry) in the street. 10.I don't want to get on a ________(crowd) bus.二、词组翻译1.拥挤的公共汽车______________________2.故宫博物馆___________________3.在正餐时间____________________4.帮助某人干某事_________________5.长城______________6.参加夏令营____________7.去游泳____________8.走回旅馆____________ 9.去度假______________ 10.汽车旅行______________ 11.有趣，玩得开心____________ 12.呆在家里________________ 13.把某物给某人看___________________ 14.去购物___________________________15.天安门广场___________________ 16.一条北京胡同___________________ 17.帮助他找到父亲________________18.想起，认为____________ 19.中央公园________________ 20.为考试而学习___________________________三、单项选择1.He ___ go home unit he finished(完成) his work. A. didn't B. did C. doesn't D. does2.---Were there many students there yeaterday? --- ________________.A.Yes, there wasB.Yes, there wereC.Yes, there isD. Yes, there are3.He ___ to the zoo yesterday. A. go B. didn't went C. didn't go D. going4.I found a little boy ___ in the street. A. plays B. played C. play D. playing5.The boss(老板) made him ___ 12 hours a day. A. to work B. work C. working D. works6.--Where ___ you go on vcation? --I went to the mountains. A. do B. did C. are D. were7.--Did you go to Center Park? --___. A.Yes, I did B.Yes, you did C.Yes, I didn't D.No, I did8.--___ the weather yesterday? --It was cloudy. A. How's B. What's C.What was D.How was9.We had great fun ___ the water. A. play on B. play in C. playing in D. to play above10.___ Sunday afternoon, we flew kites(放风筝). A. In B. At C. From D. On11.I heard a little boy ___ English this morning. A. reading B. read C. to read D. is reading12.There was ___ rain last year, so some farmers(农民) didn't grow(种植) their crops(庄稼).A. a littleB. littleC. manyD. much13.The story made every person _________. A. to laugh B. laugh C. laughing D. laughed14.Many people like playing ___ football. A. the B. / C. a D. an15.The children played football ___ 6 o'clock in the afternoon. A. until B. at C. to D. from四、完型填空:Jimmy started to paint when he was three years old, and when he was five he was already very 1 at it. He painted many beautiful and interesting 2 , and a lot of people bought 3 pictures. They said, “This boy is going to be 4 when he’s a little older, and then we’re going to 5 these pictures for a lot more money.”Jimmy’s pictures were different 6 other people’s, because he 7 painted on all of the paper. He painted 8 of it, and the other half was always 9 .“That’s very clever,” everybody said, “ 10 painters have ever done(曾经做过) that!”11 day somebody bought one of Jimmy’s pictures and then said to him, “Please 12 me this, Jimmy. Why do you 13 on the bottom(底部) half of the pictures, but not on the 14 half?”“Because I’m 15 ,” Jimmy said, “ and my brushes(画笔) don’t reach (够得上)very high.”1. A. good B. bad C. poor D. rich2. A. maps B. stamps C. pictures D. cards3.A. his B. her C. its D. their4. A. ill B. nothingC. unknown(不被知道的)D. famous(著名的)5. A. buy B. sell C. get D. have6. A. to B. in C. from D. at7. A. always B.never C. often ually 8. A. whole(整个的) B.half (一半)C. quarter(四分之一)D. back(背)9.A.beautiful B. dirty C. empty D.full 10. A. No B. Other C. The other D. No other11. A.A B. One C. Some D. The 12. A. speak B. say C. tell D. talk13. A. write B. read C. paint D. watch 14. A. top(顶) B. big C. left D. right15. A. tall B. big C. thin D. young五、补全对话:A: Hi, Vera. How _______ your vacation? B: It was great.A: _____ did you go? B: I went to Tronto______ my family.A: Really? Wow! _____ did you do there? B: We went to a lot of museums.A: How ____ they? B: They were really interesting. But they were also very crowed. A: _____ you go shopping? B: Yes, I did.A: How were the stores? B: Oh, they were _____ expensive.A: And how were the people? B: Yes. The people were really friendly. My parents ____ someDid you meet _____ Canadian people? Canadian friends, and we had dinner at their house.A: How was the food? B: _____ was delicious. I love Canadian food!六、连词成句1.did,where,you,go,on vacation __________________________________________2.went,the mountains,I,to __________________________________________3.New York City,they,went to __________________________________________4.Vera,like,vacation,her,did __________________________________________5.playing,we,great,had,fun,in the waves ________________________________________七、阅读理解(A) The seahorse is a very strange(奇怪的) fish. Do you know what its head looks like? It looks like a horse. Of course it is not as big as a horse. You can pick it up with one hand. It swims with its head up and tail(尾巴) down.This strange looking fish often remains(保持) still(安静). It will hang(挂) on to a bit of weed(海草)with its tail. Then when a small fish swims by, the seahorse will suddenly jump(跳) and eat it up.Mother seahorse lays eggs(产卵). These eggs are kept in father's pouch(育儿袋). when the eggs hatch(孵出), the babies pop out of(突然跳出) the pouch into the sea.1.The seahorse is ___. A.a small horse B.a fish C.an egg D.a sea2.The seahorse swims with ___. A.its tail up high B.its head down C.its tail down D.its nose down3.Baby seahorse are ___.A.hatched(被孵化) from eggsB.born(出生) in mother's pouchC.born in father's pouchD.hatched from horse4.A seahorse eats ___. A. sea weed B. small fish C. water D. nothing5.A seahorse is ___.A.bigger than a horseB.the same size as a horseC.as big as a horseD.much smaller than a horse( B ) We each(每个人) have a memory(记忆). That's why we can still remember things after a long time. Some people have very good memories and they can easily remember many things, but some people can only remember things when they say or do them again and again. Many of the great men of the world have got surprising memories.A good memory is a great help in learning languages. Everybody learns his mother language when he is a small child. He hears the sounds(声音),remembers them and then he learns to speak. Some children are living with their parents in foreign countries. They can learn two languages as easily as one because they hear, remember and speak two languages every day. In school it is not so easy to learn a foreign language because the students have so little time for it, and they are busy with other subjects, too.But your memory will become better when you do more and more exercise.1.Some people can easily remember many things because ______. A. they always sleep wellB. they often eat good foodC. they read a lot of booksD. they have very good memories2.E verybody learns his mother language _____.A.at the age of sixB.when he is a small childC.after he goes to schoolD.when he can read and write3.B efore a child can speak, he must _______.A.read and writeB.make sentencesC.hear and remember the soundsD.think hard4.I n school the students can't learn a foreign language easily because ___.A.they have no good memoriesB.they have no good teachersC.they don't like itD.they are busy with other subjects5.What's the best title(标题) of the text? A. Exercise B. Memory C. Language D. Great Man八、用所给单词的正确形式填空1.She ________(go) to Longshan Park last week.2.Look! Two girls ________(sing) in the room.3.Buses are always ________.(crowd)4.Some clothes are expensive, some are ________.(not expensive)5.How were the people? They were ________.(friend)6.How is the weather today? It is ________.(rain)7.Homework is ________ for children. (bore) 8.How are the ________? They are beautiful.(beach)9.In the afternoon, we went ________.(shop) 10.It was ________(sun) and hot all day.九、书面表达:以My vacation 为题目，写一篇短文，描写你的假期，介绍一下你去过的地方，不少于60词。
课前三分钟英文短笑话
课前三分钟英文短笑话笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。
学习啦我整理了课前三分钟英文短笑话，欢迎阅读!课前三分钟英文短笑话：救出哪幅画?A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?一份报纸组织了一场竞赛，为下面的问题征集最正确答案："假如卢浮宫起了火，而你只能救出一幅画，你将救出哪一幅?'The winning reply was: The one nearest the exit.获奖的答案是："最接近门口的那一幅。
'课前三分钟英文短笑话：你爸爸帮你了吗?One day, Tims mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and said to him, You got all your homework right this time, Tim.What happened? Did your father help you?一天，蒂姆的数学老师看了他的作业，觉察他全做对了。
老师很高兴，同时也十分惊异。
他把蒂姆叫到桌前说：蒂姆，你这次的作业全都做对了，怎么回事?你爸爸帮你做了吗?No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it allmyself, said Tim.不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做了。
三四分钟的英语笑话英语课前三分钟笑话
三四分钟的英语笑话英语课前三分钟笑话:四分钟英语演讲稿Good morning:Dear teachers ,I'm very glad to stand here my speech with you. My name is ZHAO __N, I'm from class1002 and my major subject is Logistic Management. I'm an easygoing girl and get along well with my classmates. I like blue, as I love the sky, because it can make me feel happy from the bottom of my heart.I also like traveling in summer. As the saying goes"Travel is restored to the fountain of youth","A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner" is my motto. My dream is to e a doctor. I hope when my family get injured ,I know what to do.Today I'm going to talk about choice Everyone has a choice when he wakes up in the early morning.You can choose to be happy or sad all the day. But for me , I think I have responsibilities to fulfill all the day. So every morning my first job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have. Today I can plain because it is rainy or I can be grateful thatthe grass is watered for free. Today I can feel sad because I don‟t have more money or I can be glad that it will prevent me from wasting.Today I can feel very down because of a bad cold or I can rejoice that I am still alive.Today I can lament over all that my parents didn‟t give me when I was growing up or I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.Today I can be disappionted for my lack of friends or I can be excited to discover new relationships.Today I can be exhausted because I have too much homework to do or I can feel honored because I‟m getting closer to my dream in this way. What today will be like is just up to ourselves.We can get to choose what kind of day we will have! As teenagers,we stilll have much time to achieve our dreams, but the way to success is not so easy.If we choose toface it in a good mood and carry on trying,I believe we can enjoy the whole process and get to the destination of success much more easily and happily.In fact,everything depends on your own attitude.If you choose to be happy and positive,you will enjoy your work andhave a good time.If you choose to be sad and negative,nothing good will e to you and your life will be colourless.The world around us is so beautiful.There is no reason why we don‟t enjoy it.So,everybody,let‟s choose to be happy everyday！Ok,that‟s all.Thanks for listening!Ladies and Gentlemen , Good afternoon! I‟m very glad to stand here and give you a short speech. today my topic is “youth”.I hope you will like it , and found the importance in your youth so that more cherish it.First I want to ask you some questions:1、Do you know what is youth?2、How do you master your youth?_三四分钟的英语笑话。
英语课前三分钟演讲稿幽默
英语课前三分钟演讲稿幽默英语课前三分钟演讲稿幽默1英语课前三分钟演讲稿3英语课前三分钟演讲稿4英语课前三分钟演讲稿6英语课前三分钟演讲稿3英语课前三分钟演讲稿12Tell everyone a good news, our school will be held in the cover letter middle school art festival!20 year January 12 (Thursday), my left hand holding a pink festival invitation, right hand holding to show our classmates come on drum strength son, set foot in the cover letter with aflame mood high school gate.When I walked into the cover letter middle school auditorium along with the crowd, I saw the familiar faces --my classmates. They each person's face is permeated with the sense of excitement, may be because the long-expected festival had finally arrived!After long prologue in school, we began our festival finally!First is in grade one students into the ceremony of the young pioneers. Such as the three senior classmates after the red flag up, began to swear. In the oath, the classmates all looked attentive, very serious. And then, under the leadership of the brigade of counselors, we sang young pioneers team song.The festival programmes have varied, with singing, dancing,recitation, singing, wind... We have too many things to see. Show a than a fascinating, the audience's applause and cheering. Among them, my favorite, is the wind.Band's classmates play is jay Chou's "chrysanthemum Chinese " and "cowboy busy". The classmates in focus at the play, blow the two songs very good to listen. Their usual practice ability show incisively and vividly.You missed such a wonderful festival, have you?英语课前三分钟演讲稿13you know, you know, we started this great effort on a sunny july morning in pinders corner on pat and liz moynihan's beautiful farm and 62 counties, 16 months, 3 debates, 2 opponents, and 6 black pantsuits later, because of you, here we are.you came out and said that issues and ideals matter, jobs matter, downstate and upstate, health care , education , the environment , social security , a woman's right to choose . it all and i just want to say from the bottom of my heart, thank you, new york!thank you for opening up your minds and your hearts, for seeing the possibility of what we could do together for our children and for our future here in this state and in our nation. i am profoundly grateful to all of you for giving me the chance to serve you.i will - i will do everything i can to be worthy of your faith and trust and to honor the powerful example of senator daniel patrick moynihan. iwould like all of you and the countless new yorkers and americans watching to join me in honoring him for his incredible half century of service to new york and our nation. senator moynihan, on behalf of new york and america, thank you.i promise you tonight that i will reach across party lines to bring progress for all of new york's families. today we voted as democrats and republicans. tomorrow we begin again as new yorkers.and how fortunate we are indeed to live in the most diverse, dynamic and beautiful state in the entire union. you know, from the south bronx to the southern tier, from brooklyn to buffalo, from montauk to massena, from the world's tallest skyscrapers to breathtaking mountain ranges, i've met people whose faces and stories i will never forget. thousands of new yorkers from all 62 counties welcomed to me into your schools, your local diners, your factory floors, your living rooms and front porches. you taught me, you tested me and you shared with me your challenges and concerns -about overcrowded or crumbling schools, about the struggle to care for growing children and aging parents, about the continuing challenge of providing equal opportunity for all and about children moving away from their home towns because good jobs are so hard to find in upstate new york. now i've worked on issues like these for a long time, some of them for 30 years, and i am determined to make a difference for all of you.you see, i believe our nation owes every responsible citizen and every responsible family the tools that they need to make the most of their own lives. that's the basic bargain. i'll do my best to honor in the united states senate.and to those of you who did not support me, i want you to know that i will work in the senate for you and for all new yorkers. and to those of you who worked so hard and never lost faith even in the toughest times, i offer you my undying gratitude.英语课前三分钟演讲稿14Honorable judges, distinguished guests, ladies and gentlemen:It is a great honor and pleasure to be here on this beautiful Saturday morning to share with you my sentiments about life and passion for the English language.About a year and a half ago, I took part in my very first English Speech Contest. When I stood before the microphone with all eyes starring directly at me, I could hardly speak. I stood there, embarrassed and helpless, struggling in vain for the right thing to say. My fears had paralyzed me.While my passion for English has never changed, I lost my courage to speak in public. When my professor again encouraged me to take part in this Competition, I said “no.” I couldn’t endure yet another painful experience. He looked me straight in the eye and said something thatpierced my heart. I will never forget his words. “Look,” he said, “We all have our fears, and you have yours. You could twist your ankle in a basketball game, but then be afraid to ever play again. Running away can never dispel your fears, but action will. A winner is not one who never fails，but one who never quits.”I spent a whole day with his words twisting and turning in my mind. Then I made the bravest and wisest decision of my life: I would face my fears – and take part in the competition!As it turned out, my dear old professor was right. Now, here I am, once again standing before a microphone. My heart is beating fast, and my mouth is dry, but most importantly, I have faced my fears -- and that makes all the difference!Thank you.英语课前三分钟演讲稿15Good morning/afternoon!First thing first, I gotta say,wow,it's funny thing to be given a chance like that.Trurh be told,I really got a little bit nervous before I stand right here ,so called 'stage fright'.If you look specifically on me .You may find my hands shaking,pretty assembles the guy who suffered from Pakinson's disease,and legs wobbling ,like I caught so-called ball leg. Okay,let's stop going around the bush and get back to my topic today.I really like to talk a funny story I have just heard.A lady called Lucy emigrated to United States several years ago.Her spoken English is not that fluent .And one day,she is just sitting on the couch with his U.S friends Mandy watching Sit-Com.A noise of bump had the attention of Mandy,which led her to go out of the house trying to figure out what had happened.Can you imagine that Mandy go straight out with merely a sweater.So Lucy shouted at her,"Lucy ,turn your clothes on." What suprised her most,beyond her wildest imagination, is that almost all the male in this country took their head out of the window.Admittedly,Lucy made a mistake here .The word spitted means Mandy is totally naked to the reason that male looked out of the window.The right sentence shall be,"put your clothing on."The story inspires you to take a careful look on the vast difference between eastern and western culture.That's full of it,thank you for your time!。
有趣英文课前五分钟演讲稿
有趣英文课前五分钟演讲稿导语：课前可以帮助我们充分利用时间学好英语，和面对多人的演讲技能。
以下是有趣英文课前五分钟演讲稿的资料，欢送阅读参考。
Honorable judges, distinguished guests, ladies and gentlemen:It is a great honor and pleasure to be here on this beautiful Saturday morning to share with you my sentiments about life and passion for the English language.About a year and a half ago, I took part in my veryfirst English Speech Contest. When I stood before the microphone with all eyes starring directly at me, I could hardly speak. I stood there, embarrassed and helpless, struggling in vain for the right thing to say. My fears had paralyzed me.While my passion for English has never changed, I lost my courage to speak in public. When my professor again encouraged me to take part in this Competition, I said “no.” I couldn’t endure yet another painful experience. He looked me straight in the eye and said something that pierced my heart. I will never forget his words. “Look,” he said, “We all have our fears, and you have yours. You could twist your ankle in a basketball game, but then be afraid to ever play again. Running away can never dispelyour fears, but action will. A winner is not one who never fails，but one who never quits.”I spent a whole day with his words twisting and turning in my mind. Then I made the bravest and wisest decision of my life: I would face my fears – and take part in the petition!As it turned out, my dear old professor was right. Now, here I am, once again standing before a microphone. My heart is beating fast, and my mouth is dry, but most importantly, I have faced my fears -- and that makes all the difference!Thank you.Today I am very glad to be here to share with you my ideas of suess. What is suess? It is what everyone is longing for.Sometimes suess would be rather simple. Winning a game is suess; getting a high grade in the exam is suess; making a new friend is suess; even now I am standing here giving my speech is somehow also suess.However, as a person’s whole life is concerned, suess bees very plicated. Is fortune suess? Is fame suess? Is high social status suess? No, I don’t think so. I believe suess is the realization of people’ s hopes andideals.Nowadays, in the modern society there are many people who are regarded as the suessful. And the most obvious characteristics of hem are money, high position andluxurious life. So most people believe that s suess and all that they do is for this purpose. But the problem is wether it is real suess. We all know there are always more money, higher position and better condition in front of us. If we keep chasing them, where is the end? What will satisfy us at last? Therefore, we can see, to get the real Suess we must need something inside, which is the realization of people’ hopes and ideals.Different people have different ideas about suess; cause people’s hopes and ideas vary from one another. But I am sure every suess is dear to everybody, cause it is not easy to e by, cause in the process of our striving for suess, we got both our body and soul tempted, meanwhile we are enlightened by the most valuable qualities of human beings: love, patient, courage and sense of responsibility. These are the best treasures. So now I am very proud that I have this opportunity to stand here speaking to all of you. It is my suess, cause I raise up to challenge my hope.What is suess? Everyone has his own interpretation as I do. But I am sure every suess leads to an ever-brighter future. So ladies and gentlemen, believe in our hopes, believe in ourselves, we, every one of us, can make。
五分钟幽默英语演讲稿
五分钟幽默英语演讲稿Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed judges, and fellow competitors,Good afternoon. Today, I stand before you to share a few moments of laughter and bring some cheer to your day. They say laughter is the best medicine, and I couldn't agree more. So, let's sit back, relax, and embark on a journey of humor through the English language.Growing up, I had a habit of mixing up my words, which often led to hilarious situations. One incident that still brings a smile to my face happened during a family dinner. My parents had invited some guests over, and I wanted to show off my knowledge of English idioms. When the desserts were served, I proudly exclaimed, "This pie looks delicious! It's a piece of cake!" Little did I know that this expression doesn't refer to an actual cake!Sometimes, even the simplest conversations can lead to amusing misunderstandings. Just the other day, I was at a coffee shop, and the barista asked for my name to write on the cup. Without thinking twice, I blurted out, "Captain America!" The confused barista could barely contain her laughter as she handed me my coffee with the superhero's name written on it. Needless to say, it was quite a conversation starter as I walked through the busy streets that day!Puns, plays on words, and double entendres are also a great source of humor in the English language. For instance, I once saw a sign outside a dry cleaner's that read, "We do precision guesswork." I couldn't help but wonder if they take guesses on how clean our clothes will be!Language differences between English-speaking countries also add to the comic element. For example, in America, "biscuits" refer to a type of bread roll, while in the United Kingdom, they are similar to what Americans call "cookies." Imagine my sheer confusion when I asked for biscuits during a trip to London and was handed a plate of what I consider breakfast items! Language can truly be an amusing barrier sometimes.On a lighter note, let me share a funny story I came across recently. It's about a man who decided to take up jogging. After his first run, he didn't feel too good and decided to consult his doctor. The doctor asked, "Do you drink regularly?" The man replied, "Well, I'll drink anything if I'm thirsty." The doctor clarified, "No, I mean, do you indulge in alcoholic beverages?" The man replied, "Only when someone else is buying!" It's all about perspective, isn't it?While humor is universal, it becomes even more entertaining when it transcends borders and cultures. Take, for example, the popular British sitcom "Mr. Bean." Rowan Atkinson's slapstick comedy and facial expressions are enough to make anyone burst into laughter, regardless of their native language. Comedy truly has the power to unite us all.In conclusion, humor is a wonderful way to bridge gaps, bring smiles to our faces, and make our lives a little brighter. By embracing the quirks and idiosyncrasies of the English language, we can find amusement in the simplest of words, phrases, and situations.As we go about our day, let us not forget to find humor in the mundane, cheerfulness in the ordinary, and laughter in unexpected places. Remember, a good laugh can make even the gloomiest of days seem brighter.Thank you for your time, and may your days be filled with laughter and joy.。
课前五分钟智力趣味幽默
课前五分钟智力趣味幽默Are you going to treat me?An American actress came to China for the first time. One day when she was looking for her n ew Chinese friend after a performance, she came across an anxious Chinese who had always wan ted to practice his English with native speakers, but had never found the chance. When he sa w the actress, he went up and exchanged greetings, then started his practice.“How old are you?”“I’m sorry. Please don’t ask a lady about her age,” the actress said uneasily.“How much do you earn each month?” the Chinese tried hard to recall this sentence from h is textbook.“Sorry again. We don’t feel like telling others about that either, “ she again refused to answer.“Have you had lunch?” the Chinese tried again to show his traditional way of greeting.“No, are you planning to treat me to a meal?’ she asked in surprise.你要请客吗？有位美国女演员首次来中国演出，有一天演出结束后在找她的中国朋友时，碰见一位总想与老外练讲英语的中国人，可惜他一直没有这样的机会。
5分钟英文幽默故事_演讲与口才_
5分钟英文幽默故事幽默能让更多人喜欢你，因为，幽默是你进行社交，进行沟通的桥梁。
那么英文幽默故事是你见过没?下面小编为你收集了一些5分钟英文幽默故事，一起来看看吧。
5分钟英文幽默故事精选1)Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。
旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
2)Very Pleased to Meet YouDuring World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys.""Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said."Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister.""I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。
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课前五分钟智力趣味幽默星沙英语网.txt如果我能够看到自己的影子，我想它一定很忧伤，因为我把快乐都留在了前面。
容易伤害别人和自己的人，总是对距离的边缘模糊不清的人。
课前五分钟智力趣味幽默Are you going to treat me?An American actress came to China for the first time. One day when she was looking for her new Chinese friend after a performance, she came across an anxious Chinese who had always wanted to practice his English with native speakers, but had never found the chance. When he saw the actress, he went up and exchanged greetings, then started his practice.“How old are you?”“I’m sorry. Please don’t ask a lady about her age,” the actress said uneasily.“How much do you earn each month?” the Chinese tried hard to recall this sentence from his textbook.“Sorry again. We don’t feel like telling others about that either, “ she again refused to answer.“Have you had lunch?” the Chinese tried again to show his traditional way of greeting.“No, are you planning to treat me to a meal?’ she asked in surprise.你要请客吗？有位美国女演员首次来中国演出，有一天演出结束后在找她的中国朋友时，碰见一位总想与老外练讲英语的中国人，可惜他一直没有这样的机会。
当看到这位女演员时，他走上前去互相问候，接着便练起英语来。
“你多大啦？”“对不起，请不要问女士的年龄，”演员感到很不自在。
“你每月挣多少钱？”中国人极力回忆着教科书上的句子。
“对不起，我们也不愿意把这事告诉给人家。
”她再次拒绝了对方。
“你吃过饭了吗？”中国人再次用本民族的传方式询问对方。
“没有，你要请我吃饭吗？”她惊喜地问。
Busy with appointmentsTwo friends meet in the street when the following conversation takes place.Jane: “Well, you know, I have so many appointments with my doctor these days.”Mary: “nothing wrong with me physically. The doctor is my fiancée.”忙于约会两个朋友在街上见面后说了下面这段话。
珍妮：“最近没有见到您，忙什么呢？”玛丽：“哦，您知道，我最近一直在忙着看医生。
”珍妮：“您患了什么病？”玛丽：“我的身体没患任何病，医生是我未婚夫。
”More intelligent in DreamsWhen a student failed to solve a math problem in class, he expressed his regret to his teacher.“I remember solving the problem in my dream last night, but for the time being I’ve forgotten it. What can that mean?”“It means that you are more intelligent in dreams than when you areawake.” The teacher explained.梦中更聪明一名没学生在班上没有做出老师的数学题，他感到很遗憾，对老师解释说；“我记得昨天夜里做梦时这道题解对了，但现在一时想不起了。
这说明什么？”“这说明你做梦的时候比你醒着的时候更聪明。
”Alone and LonelyWilliam Henry is a young American professor who has been teaching in aChinese college for three years. He is popular among his students for his student for his intelligence and patience. He also has several favoritestudents. Among them is a beautiful girl, the monitor of the class, whohas left a deep impression on him with her active class performance. After the last class before graduation, the girl asked the young professor aquestion as she had done before.“Mr Henry, would you tell me the difference between ‘alone’ and ‘lonely’?”“Well, …let me explain this with my own example,” the young teacher started. “I live alone. That means that I live by myself, without thecompany of others. But I don’t feel lonely because I have so many students around me, especially you. You’re special to me. So after your graduation please don’t leave me alone, or I’ll feel lonely. Catch the meaning now?”孤独和孤单威廉•亨利是一位年轻的美国教授，他在中国一所大学任教已有三年了，他知识渊博，又耐心，深受学生欢迎。
他还有几位得意门生呢。
有一位漂亮的女班长课堂积极活跃而讨教师欢心。
在毕业前的最后一节课上，这位女生又像往常一样提问题。
“先生，请您讲解一下‘alone’和‘lonely ’这两个英语单词的区分好吗？”“噢，…让我用自身举例吧。
我独自住，那就是说，我没跟其他人一起住。
但我并不感到孤单，因为我周围有这么多学生，特别是有你在。
你是那么与众不同。
因此，毕业后，请不要让我独自一人，否则我会感到孤单的，现在你能明白了吧”Be a Little PatientA man suddenly found that he was shrinking. Each day he was gettingsmaller and smaller. Very worried, he went to the doctor’s office. “I’ve got to see the doctor!” the man demanded, frantically.“He’s very busy,” the nurse calmly replied.“Just take a seat and be a little patient.”小病人一位男子突然发现自己越来越矮，他担忧地走进一家诊疗所。
“我要见大夫！”他着急地喊叫。
“他正忙着呢。
”护士镇定地说。
“你就坐着当个小病人吧。
（耐心地等吧）。
”（英文单词patient作名词时有“病人”的意思，而用形容词时有“耐心的”意思。
）星沙英语网Even Better?The other day I met my Chinese friend Mr. Deng. He dad been studyingEnglish in night school for aboutTwo years.“How are you getting on with your English, Deng?” I asked him.“Oh, quite well. Sometimes I feel my English is better than my Chinese,” he articulated with pride.“Really?” I could not hold back my disbelief. “How do you know?”“Well, often when I speak English, I don’t know its Chinese meaning.”更好?几天前，我碰见我的中国朋友邓先生，他在夜校学习英语两年多了。
“你的英语学得怎么样了，邓？”我问他。
“哦，不错，有时觉得我的英语比汉语还好，”他很自豪地说。
“真的？”我无法控制自己的怀疑态度，“你怎么知道？”“噢，我讲英语时，经常不知道汉语是什么意思。
”Pay Special Attention to the Waythe Chinese speak EnglishAn American student studying in Chinese found it difficult to speakidiomatic Chinese. One day he asked his roommate who was also learningChinese.“Sometimes I have the same problem. But from my personal experience, I have noticed that you would sound more Chinese the way the Chinese speak Engllish. For example, ‘I next year will from Beijing languages Institute graduate.’”注意中国人讲英语的方式一位美国留学生在中国学汉语。