雅思写作批改 (8)
【雅思写作真题】剑桥8Test3小作文实例批改
【雅思写作真题】剑桥8Test3⼩作⽂实例批改【雅思写作真题】剑桥8 Test3 ⼩作⽂实例批改“真题：剑桥8 Test3 ⼩作⽂”The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.考⽣原⽂Let’s have a look the left diagram which introduces the cement production.In the beginning, the cude materials are Limestone and Clay. Both of them have a shape of beads. We start to put them into a crusher at same time and they become a combinational power. After crushing, place the power into a mixer and pass though a rotating heater which had a heat at bottom. These heated power will go through a Grinder then finally become Cement, and seprate in to different bags.When builders need concrete, the steps show on the right hand side diagram will guide them to get it. Firstly, there should be a concrete mixer which can contain everything. Secondly, add15% of cement, 10% of water, 25% of sand and 50% of Gravel (kind of small stones).Make sure the concentration of each element is correct. Thirdly, keep rotating the mixer. At last the production will be a ultrafine concrete.批改By 晟睿葡萄本次批改严格按照IELTS⼩作⽂评分标准进⾏。
雅思写作修改建议及改进策略
题⽬：It seems that with the increase in use of mobile phones and computers, fewer people prefer to write letters. Will letters disappear completely? 审题：本⽂可以看作是agree or disagree 类⽂章，要求考⽣能在开头段表明⾃⼰的⽴场。
探讨的两个主题是：信件 VS⼿机电脑。
这篇习作的学⽣的写作框架是3773，观点是信不会被取代，中间写两段，第⼀段探讨⼿机电脑的两个好处，第⼆段探讨信的四个好处，最后总结信的优点多，继续推⾏。
为了清楚起见，学⽣⽂章都加粗了。
开头段： Mobile phones and E-mails are increasingly playing 1pivital roles in our daily life in this day and age. Yet at the same time, whether 2letter will disappear has sparked heated debate. As far as I am concerned, 3it is impossible for letters to be replaced。
点评：⾸段格式清楚，略微有模板的印记，但是有拼写错误，语法错误。
会让考官觉得是6分或以下的⽔平。
修改： 1 pivotal 其他重要：essential, indispensable, vital 2 Yet at the same time, whether letters will be replaced by phones and emails has sparked heated debate 3 原⽂impossible太过绝对。
Hardly will letters fade out。
雅思写作口语重要一环：批改
雅思写作口语重要一环：批改由于雅思口语写作是属于语言输出的主观性考试，很难有像阅读听力那样的一个标准答案供你自我诊断自我总结。
偏偏口语写作的特点决定了自我是难以做出准确的评价的。
雅思写作口语批改应运而生。
雅思写作口语重要一环：批改批改的重要性批改的重要性无须多言，以大部分雅思考生写作口语5.5分左右的水平，面对自己的答案/表现，除了能知道自己表现得糟糕，跟平时差不多，或者比平时发挥似乎流畅些之外，大约也讲不出个所以然来。
所以，一个更高水平的人的点评，指出答案的诸多毛病以及些许亮点，并提供一些修改的建议，最重要的是为以后的提高指出方向，就显得弥足珍贵，像我看到的一些优秀的批改，可能你的答案才一页纸，点评写出了三页纸;你的答案才2分钟，别人的点评却有10分钟。
可以说练习一篇+精修一篇+再自我修改+再批改，这种组合产生的效果比你练10篇都要好。
批改的内容有哪些无论是写作还是口语，批改的方向都是按照各自的考试评分标准表来的，雅思官方给了那么详细的评分标准，资深老师可以严格的按照评分标准一条条的捋。
语法，词汇各种细节别想跑，逻辑思路是否清晰，内容上是否言之有物，当然，口语的话，还有一项最麻烦的发音。
我看到的精修版写作，一篇文章被指出30+的错误/不当，如果在考试下，基本就是5.5分下的水平。
所以，不是高人给你批改，你很难知道自己的问题在哪里。
批改就是一面镜子，照出自己的不足。
个人体会：所以，雅思写作和口语，能有几次宝贵的批改，是突破自己的瓶颈的最好方法。
不要省略掉了这个环节，虽然自己对照着范文反复研读，反复写，是可以提升，但一个人永远有自己的文风，别人的范文你不可能学得来，也不应该照搬。
那么，在自己的写作习惯下的文章的问题，只有在自己的文章里才能看得出来。
一个优秀的批改老师，就是帮你看出你的写作习惯下有什么可以改进的地方，而不是让你去模仿他人。
雅思口语Part2物品类题库：电视教育节目Describe an educational TV program.You should say:what the program iswhat type of program it iswhat contents it hasand explain what you learned from the program.I’d like to talk about a program from my childhood called “How 2”, I believe it’s originally a British TV show that was televised in my country with subtitles. The presenters certainly spoke with a British accent.It’s hard to pin down exactly what type of program it was, I guess a mixture of science and history, with some everyday facts thrown in for good measure. The title itself is a play on words, as the series would show you ‘how to’ do certain things.The show is aimed at kids in middle school or high school. The hosts would routinely do experiments to demonstrate science in action, I remember one in particular where the presenters were trying to pour water out of a bottle in the quickest way possible. The winner had a very good technique whereby she would swirl the water, creating a vortex and causing the liquid to fly out of the bottle far quicker than any of the others’.As you would expect, the show got me interested in science and learning, but it also showed that you could do many experiments yourself and have fun at home, with everyday objects and materials that were easy to get hold of. At school we would need equipment and the teacher would have to superviseus, but at home we could be left to our own devices, with just a bottle and some water to keep us amused.雅思口语Part2物品类题库：室内游戏Describe an indoor game that you played when you were a child.You should say:what the game waswhere you played itwho you played it withand explain why you enjoyed this game.I think I’d have to go for puzzles. Jigsaw puzzles to be precise. I have a huge collection, although most of them are hidden in a cupboard somewhere in my parents’ house, these days.I used to have a special table exclusively for doing my puzzles on. Once I got into the groove, I would become immersed in the puzzle and get lost in a world of my own. Occasionally I would try to solve one with my grandmother, but this was more for her benefit as I much prefer doing it by myself. I know it sounds selfis h, but it’s just not as much fun sharing the responsibility with someone else and the pay off isn’t as big at the end.I started when I was just a toddler, putting shapes into pre-cut holes, but slowly I graduated to more complex pictures. These days it’s not unusual to find me tackling a really complex puzzle, like an “Impossipuzzle” which are double-sided and feature a picture of something very small but in large quantities, like a plate of baked beans or loads of Brussels sprouts.In my opinion as well as being an enjoyable pastime, jigsaw puzzles are good for your mind. The brain is basically just a muscle and so it should be given a work out every now and then.Jigsaw puzzles are challenging and although they are time consuming, they provide great satis faction once you’ve finished one.雅思口语Part2物品类题库：重要的礼物Describe an important gift you had in your childhood.You should say:what it iswho gave it to youwhat it looks likeand explain why it was important to you.The first thing the pops into my head are my cats, Topsy and Turvy. They were my little bundles of joy whilst I was growing up.When I was much younger I had another cat, called William. Sadly he was run over by a bus one day in front of our house. I can remember very vividly, one day I came home from school and my mum told me to look in the kitchen. I saw Topsy and Truvy and it was love at first sight. She told me when she had gone to collect them she only intended to buy one kitten, she put Topsy into the box and Turvy was mewing so loudly and scratching the box. She decided they were soul mates and couldn’t separate them.I have no idea what kind of cats they were, all I can tell you is that they were painfully cute. Topsy was ginger and Turvy was ginger and white. Turvy had little white patches on his paws that made it look like he was wearing mittens. Topsy was a little furrier and made him look fat. One was shy and the other more outgoing. Like all brothers, they would sometimes fight and at other times cuddle up together.Alas, they are no longer with us. Topsy passed away a few years ago and years finally caught up with Turvy finally as she bitthe bullet last year. I knew that they would not live as long as me, but it’s still depressing to lose someone you love.雅思口语Part2物品类题库：好建议Describe A piece of advice you’ve received.You should say:what it iswho gave it to youwhy you took the adviceand explain what the result was.I can remember a time when I sought advice from a wide range of different people. It was a couple of years ago, at a previous job, when I fell for a colleague. From my perspective it was love at first sight, but I was unsure whether the feeling was mutual and I didn’t know my company’s stance on office romances.I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t want to listen to jus t one person, so, as I said, I asked a few of my friends to get a broad set of opinions and points of view. A couple of people had reservations and advised caution, they recommended that I should take things slow, after all, “good things come to those that wait”. However, the general feeling was that I should go for it and ask her out. They said I had nothing to lose and I should strike while the iron’s hot. I had butterflies in my stomach, but despite being a nervous wreck, I eventually plucked up the courage to ask her out.As it happens, I shouldn’t have listened to them. She turned me down in front of all my co-workers and I had to walk back to my desk with my tail between my legs. I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life and I’ll definitely think twice before putting my heart on the line again. As they say, “once bitten,twice shy.。
雅思大作文批改范例8复习课程
雅思大作文批改范例8Some people think that personal happiness s directly related to economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on different factors. Discuss both views and give your own opinionWhat is the key to access to happiness has aroused people's interest. Some people claim that money plays a vital role in gaining happiness, while others think that there are a variety of elements constricting to it. Personally, I agree with the latter opinion. Money provides people with more opportunities to pursue happiness, because economic success can make it possible for people to enhance their quality of life. By purchasing expensive jewels, luxury house, sports car, etc. without worries of monetary pressure, wealthy person can enjoy better living standards than that of ordinary people. When financial pressure and life stress do not exist in one’s life, heor she is likely to have less worry and have rich entertainment, thereby achieving the access to happiness.Although fortune is significant to obtain happiness, there are also many other factors form important parts of eudemonia. An active lifestyle can prompt people's spiritual treasure. This means that people can receive happiness by having a healthy life, warm relatives and intimate friends. These valuable factors enable people have a positive attitude to tackle difficulties and enjoy a happy Iife.As far as I am concerned, happiness cannot always be purchased by money. Rich material life sometimes could cause negative impact on achieving happiness. It is noteworthy that numerous of wealthy people who have affluent possessions, in contrast, have often ended up in a sick lifestyle. This makes them suffer from sickness, lonely and desperation, in the light of fact that money is no guarantee of happiness. To summarize, financial success could give people an ease Iife to enjoy happiness. However, without an active lifestyle and spiritual treasure, happiness will not be sustainably maintained.总点评：本篇文章得分: 6.5。
雅思写作批改范例
Some people think government should pay for public libraries in every town, while others think it is a waste of money because people can access information from the internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.It is argued that government should invest more money in public libraries; the other people believe that we can search the information from the internet, so government should not cost money in public libraries. I agree with this idea.Surfing on the internet is the fashion way to search information in modern life, there are a lot of people use computer or mobile phone to find some information on the internet. It is because people believe that internet is the most convenient platform to find the key. People can get all the information they want effectively, rather than go to the library cost a large amount of time to read book.On the other hand the books in libraries are though many times of check and reserve, that can ensure the authority of every book. So some people would like to go to library to read the book and find the truth. Especially in medical book, if doctor find some information is wrong, it will affect the patient who was saved by the doctor. Considering the reality some people also go to the library to read book.In my opinion the book in library cannot follow the pace of the times, although the information in book is more authoritative, the new research will replace the old knowledge, but the book in library cannot update like the internet.In sum, government is unnecessary to spend more money into public libraries. Because of the development of the times, an increasing number of people will use internet to get information.———————————————————大作文修改————————————————————小马过河雅思作文批改老师给出的修改意见：Some people think government should pay for public libraries in every town, while others think it is a waste of money because people can access information from the internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.It is argued that government should invest more money in public libraries; the ( 不需要the) other people believe that we can search the information from the internet, so government should not cost （cost主语一般是物，后面经常跟双宾语cost sb money，如this book cost me 5 yuan.你这里应该用spend，与on 搭配，或者是pay 与for搭配） money in public libraries. I agree with this idea.总体评价就是模板痕迹太过严重，这个开头得分是5.5分左右，这个内容虽然有自己的，但是句式太多太多人用了。
极智批改网 用户 剑8 Test1小作文真实批改报告
极智批改网用户剑8 Test 1小作文真实批改报告题型：雅思小作文题目：剑8 Test 1 小作文原文字数：183批改时间：2013年08月14日23：26The pie chart illustrates the primary reasons of farmland 1becomes less productive, while the table 2chart compares how these reasons influenced North America, Europe and Oceania during the 1990s.We can see from the pie chart, 3there are four reasons 4cause worldwide farmland degradation. Over-grazing, deforestation and over-cultivationaccounted 5quite similar percentages, at 35%, 30% and 28% respectively. However, other reasons only make up 7% of the total.Different regions show different proportions of reasons 6in land degradation in7table 8chart. 9.8% of 9the land degradation in Europe10,due to 11the deforestation, which is much more higher than Oceania and North America, both at 1.7% and 0.2% only. Europe also 12shown the highest percentage in over-cultivation 13(7.7%14), but agricultural land degradation in Oceania 15represent 0%, in other words, not suffered by over-cultivation 16totally. However, over-grazing is the main reason of degradation in Oceania which represents 11.3%, followed by Europe and North America, at 5.5% and 1.5%.Overall, Europe land degradation is shown to be the most serious 17one compared with 18other two regions 19and it is mainly caused by deforestation and over-cultivation.时态错误：1：批改解释：Verb tense.修改建议：becoming.4: 批改解释：Verb tense error.修改建议：causing.12: 批改解释：Verb tense error.修改建议：showed.15: 批改解释：Verb tense .修改建议：represented.多余文字：2: 批改解释：Not needed. 修改建议：Omit.8: 批改解释：Not needed. 修改建议：Omit.17: 批改解释：Not needed. 修改建议：Omit.单词缺失：3: 批改解释：Missing word.修改建议：that.介词错误：5: 批改解释：Preposition needed. 修改建议：For.6: 批改解释：Poor choice of preposition.修改建议：of.冠词错误：7: 批改解释：Article needed. 修改建议：the.9: 批改解释：Not needed. 修改建议：Omit.11: 批改解释：Not needed. 修改建议：Delete.18: 批改解释：Article needed. 修改建议：the.标点错误：10: 批改解释：Not needed. 修改建议：Omit. Use “was”.13: 批改解释：Do not write in parenthesis. 修改建议：Remove the brackets. 14: 批改解释：Not needed. 修改建议：Remove.19: 批改解释：A comma is needed. 修改建议：,选词错误：16: 批改解释：Poor diction.修改建议：at all.得分7.0分（满分9分）任务完成情况Development and Details满足题目所有要求Covers all requirements of the task.信息和内容组织符合逻辑，分段足够且恰当Sequencing of information and ideas logically, sufficient and appropriate paragraphing.论点扩展和细节运用Development & Details清晰辨别主要特征因素，必要时可适当运用比较Clearly identifies all principle features and makes comparisons where needed. 词汇运用Lexical resources词汇丰富，能流畅使用丰富多样的语言并精准表达意思Uses a range of vocabulary fluently and flexibly to convey precise meanings.语法Grammar能运用标准的书面英语，包括语法及句式结构Command of the elements of Standard Written English, including grammar, and sentence structure.整体评分Holistic Assessment有效地对事实进行识别、分析及评价，表达准确流畅Effectively identify, analyze, and evaluate the facts, and conveyed clearly in a fluent manner.总评Your summary is well developed save for the grammar errors that ought to be addressed. The introduction to the summary is well developed. It gives a good brief of the data in the chart and table. The analysis that you have presented in the main body is logically well structured. There is good comparison of the data given. It is commendable that you started with the distinct features of the chart and table. The conclusion is well developed too. There is need to be coherent by avoiding these grammar errors. Most important is that in a formal essay like this, do not write in parenthesis. It is better to write everything in open sentences. There are some poor diction and verb tense errors too. Most of the errors in your essay are simple errors that could have been rectified had you carefully read through the essay.The logical and general structures are standard. Use some more vocabulary where possible.【雅思写作，只上课是无法拿高分的，一定要多写和多改。
雅思作文批改英语
雅思作文批改英语Certainly! Here is a sample of an IELTS essay correction:Original Essay:In the modern world, technology plays a crucial role in our daily lives. It has made our lives more convenient and comfortable. For instance, we can now do our shopping online without leaving our homes. Additionally, technology has also helped us to communicate with people from different parts of the world. However, there are also some negative aspects of technology. For example, it can lead to privacy issues and cybercrimes.Corrected Essay:In the contemporary era, technology is an integral component of our daily existence. It has significantly enhanced our convenience and comfort. For example, online shopping allows us to purchase goods without the need to leave our homes. Furthermore, technology has facilitated communication with individuals from various regions across the globe. Nonetheless, there are also certain adverse effects associated with technology. For instance, it can result in privacy concerns and the escalation of cybercrime.Corrections and Justifications:1. "modern world" → "contemporary era": The term "contemporary era" is more formal and academic, which is suitable for IELTS essays.2. "plays a crucial role" → "is an integral component": Th is phrase is more precise and academic.3. "it has made" → "it has significantly enhanced": "Enhanced" is a stronger verb that conveys a more positive impact.4. "do our shopping online" → "online shopping allows us to purchase goods": This rephrasing is more formal and avoids contractions.5. "without leaving our homes" → "without the need to leave our homes": Adding "the need to" makes the sentence more formal.6. "Additionally" → "Furthermore": "Furthermore" is a more formal conjunction that adds information.7. "different parts of the world" → "various regions across the globe": This is a more varied and specific way to describe global reach.8. "However" → "Nonetheless": "Nonetheless" is a more formal and appropriate conjunction for an essay.9. "also s ome negative aspects" → "certain adverse effects": This phrase is more formal and precise.10. "can lead to" → "can result in": "Result in" is a more formal way to express causation.11. "cybercrimes" → "the escalation of cybercrime": This rephrasing emphasizes the increase in cybercrime, which is a more serious concern.Remember, in IELTS writing, it's essential to use a variety of vocabulary, complex sentence structures, and maintain a formal tone throughout the essay.。
雅思作文批改
雅思作文批改雅思作文批改【篇1】雅思作文批改在现代社会，父母因繁忙的工作而无法亲自照顾孩子，这一现象已成为普遍问题。
对于这些孩子的照顾，社会上存在两种主要观点：一是将孩子送至托儿所，二是由祖父母来照顾。
本文将探讨这两种观点，并提出个人看法。
首先，托儿所作为一种专业的儿童照顾机构，具备一定的优势。
托儿所通常配备专业的教育和护理人员，能够为孩子提供系统的早期教育和社交机会。
在这里，孩子们可以与同龄人互动，培养社交技能，同时接受科学的启蒙教育。
这种环境不仅有助于孩子的智力发展，还能培养他们的团队合作精神和解决问题的能力。
然而，托儿所的缺点在于其缺乏家庭的温暖和个性化的关注。
孩子在托儿所中可能会感到孤独，尤其是在需要情感支持的时候，无法得到及时的安慰和关怀。
另一方面，由祖父母照顾孩子则有其独特的优势。
祖父母通常拥有丰富的生活经验和无私的爱，他们能够给予孩子更多的情感支持和家庭温暖。
祖父母与孩子之间的亲密关系有助于孩子的心理健康发展，孩子在这样的环境中成长，往往会感到更加安全和被爱。
然而，祖父母可能因年事已高而缺乏足够的精力和专业知识来应对现代教育的需求。
他们可能无法跟上教育理念的变化，或者在体力上难以应对活泼好动的孩子。
综上所述，托儿所和祖父母各有其优缺点。
个人认为，最佳的解决方案是结合两者的优势。
在工作日，孩子可以在托儿所接受专业教育，而在周末或假期，则由祖父母提供家庭关怀。
这样，孩子既能获得全面的教育，又能享受家庭的温暖。
这种安排不仅能让孩子在智力和情感上得到全面的发展，还能让父母在工作和家庭之间找到平衡。
此外，社会和政府也可以考虑提供更多的支持，如灵活的工作时间和家庭友好的政策，以帮助父母更好地照顾孩子。
通过多方的共同努力，我们可以为孩子创造一个更加健康和幸福的成长环境。
【篇2】雅思作文批改在雅思作文的批改过程中，学生常常会提出各种问题，这次有两个问题引起了我的注意。
第一个问题是关于如何有效地组织文章结构。
雅思写作句子改错(参考答案)
雅思写作常用语法错误分析1．We are frequently confronted with statement about the alarming rate of loss of language diversity.错因：statement是可数名词，在这里要么加冠词，要么变复数。
改正：We are frequently confronted with statements about the alarming rate of loss of language diversity．大意：我们经常听到关于语言多元性快速丧失的言论。
2．Globalization will always have supporters who are blind on the destruction it can cause．错因：惯用法。
介词使用错误，blind后面常加to.改正：Globalization will always have supporters who are blind to the destruction it can cause.大意：全球化总有一些支持者，他们对由全球化造成的破坏视而不见。
3．One problem that has not yet been addressed is the existing infrastructure and facilities fail to meet the demand posed by increased arrivals of tourists．错因：句子结构。
有两个谓语动词，分别是is和fail，需要将其中一个改成从句。
改正：One problem that has not yet been addressed is that the existing infrastructure and facilities fail to meet the demand posed by increased arrivals of tourists．大意：一个仍然还没有被解决的问题是现有的基础设施和设备不能够满足越来越多的游客的需要.4．Children，if grown up in a multicultural society，are more likely to embrace different cultures and values．错因：从句部分不能用过去分词，小孩与grow up之间是主动关系。
剑桥8 Test1 Task2 学生4分大作文批改及范文
1.作文题目剑桥8 Test1 Task2Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society。
Others，however，believe that school is the place to learn this。
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion2.学生原文Every people need to enter into the society when they graduate from the school, and it is the result that many parents want to cultivate their children to come over this difficult. On the other hand, some parents believed that every school have already help their children mater the skills of keep life in the society. And I want to talk about both two viewpoints about this fresh argument.Being an outstanding people in the society is that a dream of everyone, and there are lots of parents also want to make their children can do every well when they get into the society.I believed that it is the truth and it is absolute very essential character for a person. Someone who can have this kinds of character always be success in the society. Parents are their children one of most close people, they have personality to make their children know how to resolve the different problems of society. The famous mother which we called her tiger mother in china would be a good example. She moved to the USA when she was a little girl, and married with an American, after several years ago she had a cute girl. However, she used the Chinese way to teach her child. Her child need to learn lots of extra class such as piano and paint, and it is made her husband very angry, but his daughter be the most popular lady now in their friend cycle when he grow up. Everyone like her because her literacy and artistic, and this she can very easy to keep a good life in the society.But in the other hand, some schools also very focus on the quality of a student, so they can always use some special lessons to teach their students about that. And in deed, school is a good area to help children master this skill because every school like a little society. There are lots of good exist example like my middle school which is a very good and beauty school, and I learn lots of skills about how to communication and how to keep my own living way when parents did not stay with you. And my middle school caused me to get easy when I going to the subsequent life road. So I believed that school can cultivate a person be a good people very well and efficiently.Hence, school and parents both can teach children how to be a good person, and have a very good effect on them. Parents can teach their children and make them do some special things to train them, but school is a place to test them and make them master this skills in the society.3.老师批改文中标识：用词不当逻辑错误语法错误修改添加Every people need to enter into the society when they graduate from the school, and it is the result that many parentswant to cultivate their children to come over this difficult（什么意思？这是什么的结果？父母想要培养孩子克服什么困难，difficult是形容词，表示困难的。
最新雅思作文批改范例
Some people believe that charity organizations should give the aid to 援助those who are in great needs, while the others think that charity organizations should concentrate on helping people who live in their own country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.Charity organization has never lost its unique power to confuse people and transport them to troubles(?). It is argued that whether the charity organizations should support to people who are in great needs or (to) those who live in their own countries. Personally I believe that charity organizations focus (focusing)on helping their own countries’ people should be considered as the option of last, instead of the first resort.Evidences show that charity organizations to aid people who are in great needs can bring a host of benefits to individuals as well as the whole international society. The charity help(helping) those who need great help can alleviate the increasing social gap between rich and poor, countries’ strong and weak (? ,)which will probably reduce the rate of crimes and build a harmonious world. A case in point is that since the outbreak of the Iraq war the international Red Cross federation is aiming to help nearly one million of the most socially vulnerable people inside (in)Iraq. Specifically, it supports Iraq food, water and medical facilities to help the vulnerable people rebuild their hometown. As far as I am concerned, worldwide charity organizations, which can help people all over the world, will (help to) construct a harmonious wold and reduce the war.However, charities just concentrate (concentrating )on aiding people who live in their own countries seems not work effectively. The radical reason for which(which 改为that, 或是去掉for which) is that it has a limitation on supporting vulnerable people from other countries who suffer from the disasters, which will lead to a complex and dangerous social environment other than in their own country. This will eventually build an inhumane image in the world. A case in point is that in 2011 （after）the Japanese earthquake, Chinese charity organizations sent rescue team s and basic facilities to Japan to save people’s lives. If China did not do like(去掉）this, Chinese reputation would certainly destroyed and our country would be condemned by the international society. In this case, this way should be considered as the option of last.(?) A nation should help other nations regardless of its strength.(结尾的总结是否应该回归到慈善组织呢？）Therefore, I believe that charity organizations should （give)aid to people no matter where they come from, which(since they)are regarded as (the)better solutions to reduce wars and help vulnerable people rebuild their homeland when they went through disasters. According to these ways( Thus), a harmonious international society will be set up. Besides, it will make a progress in ( make great contributions to ) the whole world’s sustainable development.By and large, we can expect that at least the problem about what kinds of peoplecharities should aid can be largely solved by supporting people from all over the world who faces the desperate situation. The more effort put in and the wider (engagements)the whole society involvement( involved in), the more substantial results likely to be. The increase of aiding people who are in great needs and the consequent improvement in people’s happiness is surely a worthwhile objective.总评：首先字数太多，看起来累赘，会导致扣分。
雅思写作8分基本功之名词化
雅思写作8分基本功之名词化首先，我们要明白什么是名词化?名词化即把非名词变成名词的过程。
适用于这种过程的非名词有名词和形容词。
比如discuss变为discussion，difficult变为difficulty，分别就是名词和形容词的名词化。
为什么要在写作中多去使用名词呢?这是由雅思的评分标准决定的。
在官方评分指南上对达到7分的作文有这样一项描述"...with some awareness of style"即对文体有一定认识。
一般英语文体有三个层次：informal writing, formal writing, and academic writing。
雅思写作对文体的要求大致介于formal writing和academic writing之间，这两类文体都表达严谨、单据信息量大，使用较多的抽象名词。
所以，学生在考试中如何可以有意识的选择一些名词化的表达，就可以帮助我们尽可能的达到上述要求。
那么我们该如何将句子做名词化改写呢?V. + sth.到N. of sth.Sb. + V.到sb's VN.Sth is Adj. 到AdjN. of Sth.如以下例句：1.I want to realize my dreams and this comes first.1realize my dreams是典型的动宾结构，这里可以做名词化处理，变为the realization of my dreams. 整个句子因此变成：The realization of my dreams comes first.符合上面提到的单句信息量更大这一特点，同时以动名词做主语，也给人更加客观的感觉。
2.He contributes to the company. This impresses the manager.主语加谓语部分He contributes经名词化变为his contribution，因而整个句子升级成为：His contribution to the company impresses the manager.3.The policy is fully justified. Some people agree with that.同样利用前面的公式，the policy is justified这样的sb. + is + adj. 被变为一个名词性短语：the justification of the policy。
(完整版)雅思作文批改--经典版(2)
TASK 1The charts below show the number of Japanese Tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.The data shows the number of Japanese traveling abroad from 1985 to 1995, as well as its proportion in Australia during this period.It can be seen from the first graph that the period saw a generally increasing number of tourist traveling outside Japan. It increased gradually from about 5 million in 1985 to 11 million in 1990. From then on, it experienced a 3 years’ fluctuation between approximately 10.5 million and 12 million. After that, the number backed to its speed of rising and reached the highest point in 1995 at about 15.5 million.The second graph illustrates that the 2% Japanese tourists visited Australia in 1985 and this number climbed to about 4.8% in 1988. Then it experienced a drop in the next year and dipped to 4.2%. After this point, the proportion increased again and countinious until 1993, reaching the peak at 6.2%. From 1994 to 1995, it slightly declined to 6%.To recap, the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad experiences an increased trend from 1985 to 1995. It was the same for the share of Australia except a year’s drop from 1988 to 1989.总点评：本篇文章得分: Good。
雅思作文批改英语
雅思作文批改英语I believe that technology has greatly impacted ourlives in both positive and negative ways. On the one hand, it has made communication easier and more convenient. We can now connect with people from all over the world at the click of a button. On the other hand, it has also led to a decrease in face-to-face interactions and has made us more reliant on screens for entertainment and information.In terms of education, technology has revolutionized the way we learn. We now have access to a wealth of information at our fingertips, allowing us to explore new topics and ideas with ease. However, this easy access to information has also led to an increase in plagiarism and a lack of critical thinking skills among students.In the workplace, technology has increased efficiency and productivity. Tasks that used to take hours can now be completed in a fraction of the time thanks to automation and digital tools. However, this has also led to jobdisplacement and a growing concern about the future of work in an increasingly automated world.In conclusion, while technology has undoubtedly brought about many positive changes in our lives, it has also come with its fair share of challenges. It is important for us to find a balance and use technology in a way that enhances our lives without overshadowing the importance of human connection and critical thinking skills.。
雅思写作如何自我修改和评分
雅思写作如何自我修改和评分自我批改雅思作文一般适用于基础比较好，至少是中等水平的同学。
假如语法一窍不通的同学，先提高自己语法再来商议自我修改的问题。
下面我就和大家共享雅思写作如何自我修改和评分,希望能够关怀到大家，来欣赏一下吧。
雅思写作如何自我修改和评分?在语法方面，大家主要是关注这些问题· 句子成分(譬如说主谓宾等)不懂，句子缺成分(譬如说单句缺谓语，状语和从句缺主语等)，句子成分多余(譬如说双谓语)等，5.5分· 多动词没有连词或者从句，5.5分· 出现谓语动词的错误(包括主谓不一致等错误)、名词单复数和冠词的错误(特别是不行数名词加了复数或者冠词)，5.5分· 单词词性不懂(譬如说形容词和副词混淆、连词和介词混淆)等，5.5分假如上面的语法问题都没有(并且没有跑题)，恭喜你，你至少是6分的同学了假如整篇文章只有1-2个上述错误，也不影响你拿6分假如每段话都有2-3个上述错误，确定拿不到6分然后，你自我修改还可以在拓展、还有规律上面看看。
拓展· 主体段假如出现两句话表达的意思类似，就是重复· 论述过程中有没有多留意解释缘由、解释名词和给例子，多阐述结果· 比较简洁的句子能否加入一些例子，或者从句· 句子有没有跳动，可否将结果不要说的太大规律l 主体段落句子是不是有因果关系l 举例是不是和中心句有联系前面两个部分基础中等的同学是可以做到的，假如特殊努力。
下面两个评分标准就真的要靠老师了，一个是扣题，一个是用词。
因为很多同学是不知道一个题目的重点是哪里，也没有足够的背景学问想出比较好的观点。
至于用词是否地道，那真是需要很大的阅读量，足够的语感才可以推断。
扣题· 中心句没有题目关键词或者关键词的替换表达· 举例有没有扣题· 观点是不是有力，和题目有直接关系，而不是跑题，或者是观点不够有劝告力连接· 代词使用是否精确· 连接词使用是否有必要，有没有避开滥用连接词用词l 是否使用比较地道的表达?是否生硬地翻译中文?l 表达替换的时候是不是恰当合理雅思大作文：怎样用一边倒的写法轻取高分很多同学在做雅思写作时候，对于argumentation类文章的整体框架和论述方式感觉困惑，经常是写了上百个词之后照旧模糊不清，最终导致考官认为文章规律有缺陷，进而得不到理想的分数。
剑桥雅思8写作解析test3
小作文题目：The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.范文：The diagram on the left illustrates the process by which cement is made whilst the diagram on the right shows us how concrete is made.We can clearly see that the first stage in cement production is to put two substances –limestone and clay – through a crusher to create a powder. This powder then goes through a mixer and is then heated in a rotating heater. Once the powder has gone through the mixer and heater, it is ground and the cement is packed into bags.The diagram on the right hand side tells us that concrete is a mixture of four ingredients in differing proportions. Cement makes up 15% of the mixture, water constitutes 10%, sand 25%, and gravel (i.e. small stones) 50%. These ingredients are mixed in a rotating concrete mixer to make concrete.In summary, the production of cement and the production of concrete appear to be fairly simple processes大作文题目：Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?范文1——提高汽油价格不是解决日益增长的交通和污染问题的最佳方法I disagree with the idea that increasing petrol prices is the best way to deal with traffic and pollution.First of all, if petrol prices are increased, this will most likely lead to less petrol being used. This will make environmentalists happy, but it will also increase the cost of anything that uses petrol in its production or in transport – in other words, everything from plastic bags to computers. This is likely to lead to slower economic growth as less is bought and produced. Of course, there will be less traffic and there will be less pollution, but I do not think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.I think that traffic problems can be dealt with by making drivers pay more to use certain roads at certain times. This has been very effective in London, where there is a charge for cars to use roads in the centre of London during working hours. As a result, traffic and pollution have decreased without harming the local economy.Pollution could also be reduced by encouraging people to use energy more efficiently. The government could use and advertise campaign to show people that wasting energy by, for example, leaving electrical items on when they are not being used results in more pollution from electricity generation. In a similar way, the government could inform people about the financial benefits of insulating their homes.To conclude, I believe that a rise in petrol prices would reduce pollution, but cause economic problems. Therefore, I think there are better alternative solutions available.范文 2——提高汽油价格是解决日益增长的交通和污染问题的最佳方法In this essay, I shall say why I believe that increasing petrol prices is the best way to reduce traffic and pollution problems and suggest other measures that might be effective.If the price of petrol is increased, it is likely that people will try to use less of it. This should see a reduction in car use and therefore less pollution. Some people claim that this will have negative effects on the economy, but I disagree. People will almost certainly use less petrol in cases where using it is not very economic. For example, most drivers use their vehicles for short journeys which they could easily make on foot. It is these journeys that they are likely to stop making by car, not essential ones for their private lives or for work.Another way of reducing traffic problems is to only allow certain cars to use the roads on given days. This method was used effectively in Beijing during the Olympic Games, reducing both traffic problems and pollution without any significant negative effects on the local economy. However, for a scheme like this to be successful, there needs to be a good public transport system.Pollution can also be reduced by using other forms of energy generation. If we use these, we can make our economy better in the long term by investing in the technologies of the future. We will also improve the health of the population through having less pollution.To summarise, I think that increasing petrol prices is the best way of reducing traffic and pollution problems and that there are other good ways of achieving this.。
雅思作文批改英语
雅思作文批改英语I believe that technology has greatly impacted ourlives in both positive and negative ways. On one hand, it has made communication faster and easier, allowing us to connect with people from all over the world instantly. On the other hand, it has also led to increased screen timeand a decrease in face-to-face interactions.Moreover, technology has revolutionized the way we work and learn. With the internet, we have access to a wealth of information at our fingertips, making research and studying more convenient. However, this reliance on technology has also made us more dependent on devices and less able tothink critically or problem-solve without them.In addition, social media has changed the way we socialize and interact with others. It has provided a platform for people to share their thoughts and experiences, but it has also led to issues such as cyberbullying and the spread of misinformation. It is important for us to bemindful of how we use social media and its impact on our mental health.In conclusion, while technology has brought many benefits to our lives, it is important to be aware of its drawbacks and use it responsibly. We must find a balance between utilizing technology for its advantages and not letting it consume our lives.。
雅思写作改错练习（附答案）
雅思写作改错练习(附答案)为了帮助大家备考雅思作文，提高写作水平，下面小编给大家带来雅思写作改错练习(附答案)，希望大家喜欢!雅思写作改错练习(附答案)1Futurism, an early twentieth-century movement in art, rejected all traditions and attempts to glorify contemporary life by emphasizing the machine and motion.2 But, for a small group of students, professional training might be the way to go since well-developing skills, all other factors being equal, can be the difference between having a job or not.3 For a group of remaining in existence, a profit-making organization must, in the long run, produces something consumers consider useful or desirable.4 For a result of two or three centuries of scientific investigation we have come to believe that Nature is understandable in the sense that when we ask her questions by way of appropriate observations and experiments，she will answer truly and reward us with discoveries that endure.5 At the same time, young people should be encourage to communicate with their peers and develop their interpersonal skills, which may help them greatly to reduce dependence in their parents.6 When a new movement in art attains a certain fashion, it is advisable to find out what their advocates are aiming at, for, however farfetched and unreasonable their principles may seem today, it is possible that in years to come they may be regarded as normal.7 Numerous other commercial enterprises, from theaters tomagazine publishers, from gas and electric utilities to milk processors, bring better and more efficiently services to consumers through the use of computers.8 The American economic system is, organizing around a basically private-enterprise, market-oriented economy in that consumers largely determine what shall be produced by spending their money in the marketplace for those goods and services that they want most.9 Thus, in the American economic system it is the demand of individual consumers, coupled with the desire of businessmen to maximize profits and the desire of individuals to maximize their incomes, which together determine what shall be produced and how resources are used to produce it.10 The individual now has more information available than any generation, and the task of finding that one information relevant to his or her specific problem is complicated, time--consuming, and sometimes even overwhelming.参考答案1Futurism, an early twentieth-century movement in art, rejected all traditions and attempts to glorify contemporary life by emphasizing the machine and motion.错误: and并列连接两个谓语，应该是平行结构。
通过作文批改看雅思写作高分和低分范文对比
通过作文批改看雅思写作高分和低分范文对比今天我们给大家演示一翻，老师如何对一篇Band 4.5的学生习作进行修改的过程，让大家能够深刻领会如何按照雅思写作评分标准，来进行雅思写作备考和训练。
接下来请看店铺雅思内容：通过作文批改看雅思写作高分和低分范文对比通过作文批改看雅思写作高分和低分范文对比以下是一篇Band 4.5的学生习作，及其修改过程，我们借以深刻理解并学会根据以上的评分标准来约束并提高自己的写作实力。
题目：2015年06月13日(题目本身信息难度不大)The charts show the information about the water consumption and water residential use in Australia in 2004.The charts include the information which represent the Australian water consumption and residential use in 2004.The residential cost +of water is divided into two parts,》: one is +for house and another one》the other is +for apartment. The house one》The former accounted for the most part which is》was 57 percent. As for the apartment, one》itis much less than +the water use inside the house, which is only 13 percent. There are also several other fields, including industry, business, government and others. but compare with the residential use , their total cost is only a small section. others take 3 percent which is the smallest one. government is the second smallest which only occupied 6 percent. the business and industry are respectively 10 percent and 11 percent.》》将以上句子进行合并：Compared with the residential water usage, several other fields consumed only a small section of water, including industry, business, government and others, the amount of which are 11[[[%]]], 10[[[%]]], 6[[[%]]] and 3[[[%]]] respectively.(提高句子表达效率和效果)讲解：通过本段可以看出，该生信息描述不够准确，语言比较重复，而且标点符号错误率很高。