雪莉桑德伯格演讲

(1)Congratulations everyone, you made it
And I don't mean to the end of college, I mean to class day
because if memory serves
some of your classmates had too many scorpion bowls at the Kong last night
and are with us today
Given the weather
the one thing Harvard hasn't figured out how to control
some of your other classmates are at someplace warm with a hot cocoa
so you have many reasons to feel proud of yourself as you sit here today Congratulations to your parents
You have spent a lot of money
so your child can say she went to a "small school" near Boston
And thank you to the class of 2014 for inviting me to be part of your celebration It means a great deal to me
and looking at the list of past speakers was a little daunting
I can't be as funny as Amy Poehler
but I'm gonna be funnier than Mother Teresa
25 years ago
a man named Dave I did not know at the time but who would one day become my husband was sitting where you are sitting today
23 years ago
I was sitting where you are sitting today
Dave and I are back this weekend
with our amazing son and daughter to celebrate his reunion
and we both share the same sentiment
Harvard has a good basketball team
Standing here in the yard brings memories flooding back for me
I arrived here from Miami in the fall of 1987
with big hopes and even bigger hair
I was assigned to live in one of Harvard's historic monuments to great architecture Canaday
My go-to outfit, and I'm not making this up, was a jean skirt
white leg warmers and sneakers and a Florida sweater
because my parents who were here with me then as they're here with me now
told me everyone would think it was awesome that I was from Florida
At least we didn't have Instagram
For me, Harvard was a series of firsts
My first winter coat, we needn't need those in Miami
My first 10 page paper, they didn't assign those in my high school
My first C
after which my proctor told me that she was on the Admissions Committee
and I got admitted to Harvard for my personality
not my academic potential
The first person I ever met from boarding school
I thought that was our really troubled kids
The first person I ever met who shares the name with a whole building
or so I met when the first classmate I met was Sarah Wigglesworth
who bore no relation at all to the dorm
which would have been nice to know with that very intimidating moment
But then I went on to meet others
Francis Strauss, James Wells
Jessica Science Center B
My first love, my first heartbreak
the first time I realized that I love to learn
and the first and very last time I saw anyone read anything in Latin
When I sat in your seat all those years ago
I knew exactly where I was headed. I had it all planned out
I was going to the World Bank to work on global poverty
Then I would go to law school
And I would spend my life working in a nonprofit or in a government
At Harvard's commencement tomorrow as your dean described
each school is gonna stand up and graduate together
the college, the law school, the med school and so on
At my graduation, my class cheered for the PhD students
and then booed the business school
Business school seemed like such a sellout
18 months later, I applied to business school
It wasn't that I was wrong about what I would do decades after graduating
I had it wrong a year and a half later
And even if I could have predicted I would one day work in the private sector I never could have predicted Facebook
because there was no internet
and Mark Zuckerberg was at elementary school
already wearing his hoody
Not locking into a path too early
gave me an opportunity to go into a new and life changing field
And for those of you who think I owe everything to good luck
after Canaday I got Quaded
What's that? Barron
(2)
There is no straight path from your seat today to where you are going
Don't try to draw that line. You will not just get it wrong
You'll miss big opportunities and I mean big, like the Internet
Careers are not ladders. Those days are long gone
but jungle gyms
Don't just move up and down. Don't just look up
Look backwards, sideways, around corners
Your career and your life will have starts and stops and zigs and zags Don't stress out about the white space, the path you can try
because there in lives both the surprises and the opportunities
As you open yourself up to possibility
the most important thing I can tell you today
is to open yourself up to honesty
to telling the truth to each other
to being honest with yourselves
and to being honest about the world we live in
If you watched children, you will immediately notice how honest they are My friend Betsy was pregnant and her son
for the second child, son Sam was 5
he wanted to know where the baby was in her body
So yes Mommy, are the babies arms in your arms?
And she said, no no Sam, baby's in my tummy
whole baby
Mom, are the baby's legs in your legs?
No, Sam, whole baby's in my tummy
Then Mommy, what's growing in your butt?
As adults
we are almost never dishonest
and that can be a very good thing
When I was pregnant with our first child
I asked my husband Dave if my butt was getting big
At first, he didn't answer but I pressed
So he said, yeah, a little
For years my sister-in-law said about him what people
will now say about you for the rest of your life when you do something done
and that guy went to Harvard
Hearing the truth at different times along the way would have helped me
I would not have admitted it easily when I sat where you sit
But when I graduated, I was much more worried about my love life than my career I thought I only had a few years very limited time to find one of the good guys before he was to, or before they were all taken
or I got too old
So I moved to DC, and met with guy
and I got married at the nearly decrepit age of 24
I married a wonderful man but I had no business making that kind of commitment I didn't know who I was or who I wanted to be
My marriage fell apart within a year
something that was really embarrassing and painful at the time
and it did not help that so many friends came up to me and said
I never knew that, never thought that was going to work or
I knew you weren't right for each other
No one had managed to say anything like that to me
before I marched down an aisle when it would have been far more useful
And as I lived through these painful months of separation and divorce
boy, did I wish they had?
And boy, did I wish I had asked them?
At the same time in my professional life, someone did speak up
My first boss out of college was Lant Pritchett
an economist who teaches at the Kennedy School who is here with us today
After I deferred to law school for the second time
Lant sat me down and said
I don't think you should go to law school at all
I don't think you want to go to law school
I think you think you should because you told your parents you would many years ago He noted that he had never once heard me talk about the law with any interest
I know how hard it can be to be honest with each other
even your closest friends, even when they're about to make serious mistakes
but I bet sitting here today, you know your closest friends' strength, weaknesses what cliff they might drive off
and I bet for the most part you've never told them
and they've never asked
Ask them
Ask them for the truth because it will help you
and when they answer honestly
you know that that's what makes them real friends
Asking for feedback is a really important habit to get into
as you leave the structure of the school calendar and exams and grades behind
On many jobs if you want to know how you're doing
if you're going to have to ask and
then you're gonna have to listen without getting defensive
Take it from me, listening to criticism is never fun
(3)
but it's the only way we can improve
A few years ago, Mark Zuckerberg decided he wanted to learn Chinese
and in order to practice
he started trying to have work meetings with some of
our Facebook colleagues who are native speakers
Now you would think his very limited language skills
would keep these conversations from being useful
One day he asked a woman who was there
how it was going, how did you choose the Facebook
She answered with a long and pretty complicated sentence
So he said, simpler please
She spoke again
Simpler please
This went back and forth a couple of times
So she is blurted out in frustration, my manager is bad
That he understood
So often the truth is sacrificed to conflict avoidance
or by the time we speak the truth, we've used so many caveats
and preambles that the message totally gets lost
So I ask you to ask each other for the truth and other people
can you list it in simple and clear language?
And when you speak your truth
can you use simple and clear language?
As hard as it is to be honest with other people
it can be even more difficult to be honest with ourselves
For years after I had children
I would say pretty often I don't feel guilty working even when no one asked Someone might say, Sheryl, how's your day today?
And I would say, great I don't feel guilty working
Or do I need a sweater?
Yes, it's unpredictably freezing and I don't feel guilty working
I was kinda like a parrot with issues
Then one day on the treadmill, I was reading this article on Sociology Journal about how people don't start out lying to other people
they start out lying to themselves
and the things we repeat most frequently
are often those lies
So the sweat was pouring down my face
I started wondering what do I repeat pretty frequently
and I realized I feel guilty working
I then did a lot of research
and I spent an entire year with my dear friend Nell Scovell
writing a book talking about how I was thinking and feeling
and I'm so grateful that so many women around the world connected to it
My book of course was called Fifty Shades of Grey
I can see a lot of you connected to it as well
We have even more work to do in being honest about the world we live in
We don't always see the hard truths
and once we see them, we don't always have the courage to speak out
When my classmates and I were in college
we thought that fight for gender equality was one that was over
Sure, most of the leaders in every industry were men
but we thought changing that was just a matter of time
Lamont Library right over there
one generation before us didn't let women through its doors
But by the time we sat in your seat, everything was equal
Harvard and Radcliffe was fully integrated
We didn't need feminism because we were already equals
We were wrong
I was wrong
The world was not equal then
and it is not equal now
I think nowadays
we don't just hide ourselves from the hard truth
and shut our eyes to the inequities
but we suffer from the tyranny of low expectations
In the last election cycle in the United States
women won 20% of the Senate seats
and all the headlines started screaming out
women take over the Senate
I felt like screaming back, wait a minute everyone
50% of the population getting 20% of the seats
That's not a takeover. That's an embarrassment
Just a few months ago this year
a very well respected and well-known business executives in Silicon Valley invited me to give a speech to his clu
b on social media
I've been to this club a few months before when I
have been invited for a friend's birthday
It was a beautiful building and I was wandering around
looking at it, looking for the women's room
(4)
when a staff member informed me very firmly
that the ladies' room was over there
and I should be sure not to go up stairs
because women are never allowed in this building
I didn't realize I was in an all-male club until that minute
I spent the rest of the night wondering what I was doing there
wondering what everyone else was doing there
wondering if any of my friends in San Francisco would invite me to
a party at a clu
b that didn't allow Blacks or Jews or Asians or gays
Being invited to give a business speech at this club
hit me even more egregious
because you couldn't claim that it was only social business that was done there My first thought was, "Really?"
Really
A year after "Lean In"
this dude thought it was a good idea
to invite me to give a speech to his literal all-boys club
And he wasn't alone
there is an entire committee of well respected businessman
who joined him in issuing this kind invitation
To paraphrase Groucho Marx
and don't worry, I won't try to do the voice
I don't want to speak in any club that won't have me as a member
So I said no
and I did it in a way I probably wouldn't have even 5 years before
I wrote a long and passionate email
arguing that they should change their policies
They thanked me for my prompt response and wrote that
perhaps things will eventually change
Our expectations are too low
Eventually needs to become immediately
We need to see the truth and speak the truth
We tolerate discrimination and we pretend that opportunity is equal
Yes we elected an African-American president
but racism is pervasive still
Yes, there are women who run Fortune 500 companies
5 percent to be precise
but our road there is still paved with words like pussy and bossy
while our male peers are leaders and results focused
African-American women have to prove that they're not angry
Latinos risk being branded fiery hot head
A group of Asian-American women and men in Facebook
wore pins one day that said I may or may not be good enough
Yes, Harvard has a woman president
and in two years, the United States may have a woman president
(5)
But in order to get there
Hillary Clinton is gonna have to overcome 2 very real obstacles
unknown and often ununderstood gender bias
and even worse, a degree from Yale
You can challenge stereotypes that's subtle and obvious
At Facebook, we have posters around the wall to inspire us
Done is better than perfect
Fortune favors the bold. What would you do if you weren't afraid?
My new favorite
nothing at Facebook is someone else's problem
I hope you feel that way about the problems you see in the world
because they are not someone else's problem
Gender inequality harms men along with women
Racism hurts Whites along with Minorities
And the lack of equal opportunity keeps all of us
from failing our true potential
So as you graduate today
I want to put some pressure on you
I want to put some pressure on you to acknowledge the hard truths
not shy away from them
and when you see them to address them
The first time I spoke out about what it was like to be a woman in the workforce was less than five years ago
That means that for 18 years from where you sit to where I stand
my silence implied that everything was okay
You can do better than I did
And I mean that so sincerely
At the same time
I want to take some pressure off you
Sitting here today you don't have to
know what career you want or how to get the career you might want
Leaning in does not mean your path will be straight or smooth
and most people who make great contribution start way later than Mark Zuckerberg
Find a jungle gym you want to play and start climbing
not only will you figure out what you want to do eventually
but once you do, you'll crush it
Looking at you all here today
I'm filled with hope
All of you who were admitted to a "small school" near Boston either for your academic potential or your personality or both you've had your first, whether it's a winter coat, a love or a C you've learned more about who you are and who you want to be And most importantly
you've experienced the power of community
you know that while you are extraordinary on your own
we are all stronger and can be louder together
I know that you will never forget Harvard
and Harvard will never forget you
especially during the next fundraising drive
Tomorrow
you all become part of a lifelong community
which offers truly great opportunity
and therefore comes with real obligation
You can make the world fair for everyone
expect honesty from yourself and each other
demand and create truly equal opportunity
not eventually, but now
And tomorrow by the way
you get something Mark Zuckerberg does not have
a Harvard degree
Congratulations, everyone。