英汉对照-黄西(Joe-Wong)脱口秀演讲--看美式幽默和美国人的包容

从黄西（Joe Wong）脱口秀演讲，看美式幽默和美国人的包容

黄西（Joe Wong），曾在中国科学院攻读硕士，后获得德克萨斯州莱斯大学博士学位，全职工作从事科学研究。美国深夜节目收视率冠军的“大卫赖特曼秀”，2009年4月17日晚上破天荒邀请中国口音极重的黄西(Joe Wong)亮相，以英语讲美式笑话，近六分钟的演出，观众反应热烈。黄西一炮而红。

美式幽默强调的是是双关语的巧用，前后文包袱的对接，还有对现在问题的嘲讽，joe wang的幽默在于每个段子简短但是需要观众思考并且前后的段子对接起来就了不起了，很连贯。

黄西脱口秀视频精选全集2011-12-08

一个来自中国的生化博士，居然能在美国破天荒靠讲笑话脱口秀成为一名笑星，不得不令人佩服！用黄西自己的话说就是“他在美国比中国唯一的好处就是浑身散发着异域的光芒。”你是笑星黄西的粉丝吗？

黄西（Joe Wong）在2010年美国记者年会上的脱口秀视频

黄西Joe Wong on the Late Show视频(字幕版

黄西“人生大不同”复旦公益演讲视频

黄西Joe Wong在美国Ellen Show讲笑话视频

2011ZhenPitch-特别嘉宾黄西即兴脱口秀视频

黄西Joe Wong 再度登上“Late Show”视频(双语字幕

美国的著名脱口秀节目主持人Ellen Degeneres 毕业演讲

Joe Wong(黄西)在美国记者年会上的脱口秀(very funny)

2010-03-31

Good evening everyone, my name is Joe Wong. But to most people, I am known as "Who?" which is actually my mother's maiden name and the answer to my credit card security question.

各位晚上好，我是Joe Wong（黄西）。但是对你们中的很多人来说，听到我的名字，你们会问“谁啊？”（注意看他说这句话时侯的表情），who（同音“胡”）恰恰是我妈妈出嫁前的姓，这也是我信用卡密码问题的答案。（和很多网站注册一样，美国的信用卡也会设置密码问题，比如“你妈妈姓什么”，“你家小狗叫什么”）

But joking aside I just want to reassure everybody that I AM invited here tonight.

但是玩笑归玩笑，我想要提醒大家我的确是受到邀请而来的（他重读了I am的am）（这里是讽刺Salah的夫妇闯入白宫晚宴的新闻，大家可以搜索Michaele and Tareq Salahi）

I grew up in China. Who didn't? And my childhood memories are totally ruined by my childhood. When I was in elementary school, as part of the curriculum, I had to work in a rice paddy right next to a quarry where they use explosives to break rocks. And that was when I learned light travels faster than sound, which is almost as slow as a flying rock. My dad was a grumpy guy, but occasionally he would cheer me up with jokes. But he doesn't do it right. When I was seven one day he said to me, "Hey, son, why is tofu better than centralized socialist economy?" So five minutes later I said

"why?" He said because I said so!

我从小在中国长大。谁不是呢？（这是讽刺美国人的自大，以为世界只有一个美国）而我童年的所有记忆都被我的童年给毁了。（这句话可能是和后面的炸药玩笑有关）读小学的时侯，作为课程的一部分，我不得不去一个稻田里劳动，这稻田的旁边就是一个采石场，在那里他们用炸药来炸开石头。也就是在那个时侯，我知道了光的传播速度要比声音快，声音的速度就和石头飞的速度差不多慢。我爸爸是的脾气很暴躁，但是有些时侯他会用笑话来鼓励我。可是他的表达方式有问题。当我还是七岁的时侯，有一天他对我说，“嘿，儿子，为什么豆腐比社会主义计划经济要好？”我想了五分钟，然后问他“为什么呢？”，他说“因为我说好就是好！”（这段笑点在：豆腐，计划经济，极端的父权。豆腐和经济放在一起本来就没有可比性，就好像这种“我说了算”的父权也很不可理喻，让人又好气又好笑）

I came to the United States in, when I was twenty four to study at Rice University in Texas. That wasn't a joke, until now.

我24岁的时侯来到美国，在Texas的Rice University求学。（下面的观众在笑。）我不是在讲笑话，不过现在是了。

And I was driving this used car that had a lot of bump stickers that were impossible to peel off. One of them said "If you don't speak English, go home". And I didn't know this for two years.

我当时开了辆二手车，保险杠上贴了好多贴纸（就类似于我们贴的“注意有熊出没”那种），那些贴纸贴的很牢，根本没可能撕下来。其中一张写着“如果你不会说英文，那就回家去”。而我连着两年都没看懂这句话。

And like many other immigrants, we all want our son to the become the president of this country and we are trying to make him bilingual, you know, Chinese at home, English in the public, which is really tough to do because many times I have to say to him in public, "hey, listen, if you don't speak English, go home." And he would say to me, "hey dad, why do I have to learn two languages?" I said，"son, once you become the president of the United State, you are gonna have to sign the legislative bills in English, and talk to debt collectors in Chinese."

和很多其他的移民一样，我们都希望自己的儿子能成为这个国家的总统，于是我们努力让他们说两种语言，在家说中文，在外说英文，真的操作起来其实挺困难，很多时侯我不得不对他说“嘿，听着，如果你不说英文，就给我回家去。”（这段对应了他上文说的汽车贴纸的笑话）我儿子总是会问我“爸爸，为什么我一定要说两种语言呢？”我告诉他：“儿子，一旦有一天你成为了美国总统，你就必须要用英文来签署立法议案，然后用中文跟债主们讨论债务问题。”

（这段经地主大人提醒：讲到用中文讨论债务时，你看底下美国人反应并不剧烈，只有部分人狂笑，因为美国人压根儿不知道，中国是他们的大债主。）

When I graduated from Rice, I decided to stay in the United States because in China, I can't do the thing I do best here, being ethnic. And in order for me to become a US citizen, I had to take these American history lessons, where they ask us questions like "Who is Benjamin Franklin?" I was like "Ah, the reason our convenience store gets robbed?" "What is the second amendment?" I was like "Ah, the reason our convenience store gets robbed?" "What is Roe versus Wade?" I was like "Ah, two ways of coming to the United States?" Later on, I read so much about American