搞笑中式英语

1．we two who and who？咱俩谁跟谁阿

2．how are you ? how old are you? 怎么是你，怎么老是你？

3．you don’t bird me,I don’t bird you 你不鸟我，我也不鸟你

4．you have seed ，I will give you some color to see see 你有种，我要给你点颜色看看5．Government abuse chicken 宫暴鸡丁

6．At KFC, We do Chichen Right 在肯德基，我们做鸡是对的

7．You Give Me Stop! 你给我站住！

8．Chop the strange fish 生鱼块

9．watch sister 表妹

10．take iron coffee 拿铁咖啡

11．American Chinese not enough 美中不足

12．Where cool where you stay！哪凉快上哪呆着

13．heart flower angry open 心花怒放

14．colour wolf 色狼

15．dry goods 干货

16．want money no; want life one! 要钱没有，要命一条

17．People mountain and people sea. 人山人海

18．you have two down son。你有两下子。

19．let the horse come on 放马过来

20．I give you face you don’t wanna face 给你脸你不要脸

21．red face know me 红颜知己

22．seven up eight down 七上八下

23．no three no four 不三不四

24．do morning *** 做早操；do class between *** 做课间操

25．you try try see！你试试看！

26．love who who 爱谁谁

27．look through autumn water 望穿秋水

28．go you mother's 去你妈

29．May I borrow your light？借光

30．Handsome Year, Morning Die 英年早逝

31．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse’son can make hole!龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子会打洞

32．morning three night four 朝三暮四

33．king eight eggs 王八蛋

34．no care three seven twenty one 不管三七二十一

35．go and look 走着瞧

36．poor light egg 穷光蛋

37．ice snow clever 冰雪聪明

38．first see you，i shit love you 第一次见你，我便爱上了你

39．horse horse tiger tiger 马马虎虎

40．no money no talk 没钱免谈

41．hello everybody! if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!! 有事起奏，无事退朝

42．you me you me 彼此彼此

43．know is know，noknow is noknow 知之为知之，不知为不知...

44．watch sisiter 表妹

45．American Chinese not enough 美中不足

46．one car come one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die 车祸现场描述

47．go past no mistake past 走过路过，不要错过

48．小明：I am sorry! 老外：I am sorry too!

小明：I am sorry three! 老外：What are you sorry for?

小明：I am sorry five!

49．If you want money,I have no; if you want life,I have one!

要钱没有，要命一条

50．I call Li old big. toyear 25. 我叫李老大，今年25。

51．you have two down son。你有两下子

52. dry mother 干妈

no three no four （不三不四）

long time no see (好久不见)

power line （电源线）

morning three night four （朝三暮四）

money or life？（要钱还是要命？）

wang old five 王老五

ten three point 十三点

play a big knife before guangong （关公面前耍大刀）

play an ax before luban （班门弄斧）

we are brothers,who and who ah! （咱们兄弟谁跟谁啊！）

good good study,day day up! （好好学习，天天向上！）

you ask me, i ask who （你问我，我去问谁？）

英语爆笑小笑话带翻译超搞笑

英语爆笑小笑话带翻译超搞笑英语爆笑小笑话：Goethe's ToleranceGoe the was once strolling on a narrow path in a park in Weimar. As luck would have it, he met with a critic who was hostile to him. Both of them stopped, staring at each other. Then the critic said, I'll never make way for a fool. But I will, with that Goethe retreated aside. 一次，歌德正在魏玛一个公园的一条狭窄小道上散步，碰巧他遇见一个对他怀有敌意的评论家。两人都停了下来，彼此相互对视。接着评论家说道：我从来不给傻瓜让路。可我给，说完歌德退到了一边。英语爆笑小笑话：Good Sight Lawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly?Witness: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away. 律师：你说你离事故现场约有35英尺，你能看清多远的东西?证人：这么说吧，早上起床后我看见太阳，别人告诉我这大约有9300万英里远。英语爆笑小笑话：拿破仑病了 Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year."He's a good boy," said Jack's father, "and if you let him pass this time, I'm sure he'll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.""No, no, that's quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn't know!""Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack's father. "You see, I'm afraid we don't take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill." 杰克到一所大学去学历史。第一学期结束时，历史课教授没让他及格，校让他退学。然而，杰克的父亲决定去见教授，强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。“他是个好孩子，”杰克的父亲说，“您要是让他这次及格，我相信他明年会有很大进步，学期结束时，他一定会考好的。”“不，不，那不可能，”教授马上回答，“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破

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搞笑的英文句子

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英语口语三人情景对话

英语口语 Jack: Good morning .sir .what can I do for you?琳达:早上好。先生。我能为你做什么呢? Robbie: Good morning .My name is Robbie Stewart. And this is Alex Pappas. 罗比:早上好。我的名字是罗比·斯图尔特。这是亚历克斯·帕帕斯。 Alex: Hi .Good morning. Yesterday we found dog named Gemma. 亚历克斯:你好。早上好。昨天我们发现这只名叫Gemma的狗。Robbie: We have thought many ways to find it is host, but we don't succeed ultimately. 罗比:我们认为许多方法来发现它的主人,但我们不能成功最终。 Jack: Oh, wait a while. You know I must make a record in terms of rule. 琳达:噢,等一会儿。你知道我必须做一个记录。 Robbie: No problem. 罗比:没问题。 Jack: OK .Your name will do Mr. Stewart. Then, please tell me your address? 琳达:好的。你的名字将会做什么,Stewart先生。那么,请告诉我你的地址吗? Robbie: 46 Linden Street, Riverdale. 罗比:林登街46,Riverdale。 Jack: Where did you find the dog? 琳达:你在什么地方找到这条狗的? Alex: Speak exactly , not we found her . It's she found us in Robbie `s house. 亚历克斯:讲到底,不是我们发现她。这是她发现我们在罗比是房子。Jack: Have you tried calling the number on the collar? 琳达:你试着打领子上的号码吗? Robbie: Yes, but the number is no longer in service . So we only call for you. 罗比:是的,但是号码也不再服务。所以我们只有你的电话。 Jack: And there is no address on the dog tag? 琳达:并没有地址在狗身上的标签? Alex: There is no other information. 亚历克斯:没有其他信息。

英语幽默小故事

1、New Discovery A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator. Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I shouldhave brought my wife!" 新发现一个乡下人第一次到大城市游逛。他走进一座大楼，看见一个岁数很大的矮胖女人迈进一个小房间。房间的门随后关上，有几个灯在闪亮。一会儿，门开了，电梯里走出一位年青漂亮的女模特。乡下人惊奇地眨着眼睛，慢吞吞地说：“我应该把我的老婆带来!” hillbilly n. 乡下人，乡巴佬. pudgy adj.矮胖的，矮而粗的 drawl vt, vi慢吞吞地说；拉长语调地说 2、Always Thirsty "I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me." "That's terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?" "No, but I am always thirsty!" 总感到口渴一个男人对他的朋友说：“我动了一次手术，手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。” “真是太糟糕了！”朋友说道：“你觉得疼吗？”

英语三人对话

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英语短篇幽默小故事

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经典幽默英语故事(30个)-(1)

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英语幽默小故事20字

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立刻说：英语口语学习的几点建议

英语口语学习的几点建议不少人认为发音好就代表口语好，口语好就代表英语好。实际上，如果只是工作需要，发音真的有那么重要吗?所谓的英语的口语，其实包含四方面的内容，其中重要性排行：流利度>表达准确度>发音>腔调。流利度方法建议就是自己和自己说英语，每天头脑里总会要想些问题，你试着把自己想的东西一句一句翻译成英语，你和别人说话的时候，说完那些话之后，你心里默默的想一想这些话我用英语应该怎么说，遇到不会的马上可以用手机查字典。不出三个月你心里想的每一句话或者日常的沟通，都可以熟练的用英语说出来。还有一个办法，就是每天用英语写几百字。每天人的英文写作其实是代表他的英语口语的最高水平，不要说自己英语口语不好，归根到底，其实是写作不行。你能够说出来的东西，你一定能够立马知道怎么写，但是你写的东西你不一定立马能够说出来，但是为什么还要练习写作呢？因为大部分时候你说不出来是因为你写都不知道怎么写。写作实际上能够根本改善你遣词造句的能力，当你写作都很熟练了，你脱口而出自然不会是问题。表达准确度只要是两个人面对面沟通，只要你不结巴、保持流利，始终能够把话说清楚的，老外如果听不懂他会继续问你，直到听懂为止。所以刚练习英语口语的朋友，可以把这部分顾虑暂时先打消，等你流利了再来改也没问题的。所有表达的准确度问题，都不是口语问题，都是

你英语基础问题。发音准确度这方面的重要程度远远没有流利度那么高，但练习要花费相当的苦工。如果仅仅只是为了应付工作，建议不要花费太多时间在发音上面，因为中国人的发音哪怕再烂其实外国人还是能理解的。外企HR似乎更加看重流利程度一点。大部分在外企工作的中国人发音简直是弱爆，但是丝毫不影响工作沟通。所以英语基础不好的人，拼命去练发音，无异于舍本逐末。如果你一定要知道发音怎么练习，可以简单说一两点。中国人被拼音误导很深，认为和拼音长得差不多就是和拼音一样的发音，结果才导致了浓浓的中国风发音。不要把音标当拼音。你把所有的长元音全部拆开成两个元音来发音，比如like 的i(ai), 坚决不要发成中文的"爱“，要先发a 后发i, 中间过渡平滑，听起来像"拉一可”。经常有人说这个单词明明按照音标读了，但是怎么读都有一股浓浓的中国风，就是找不出原因，原因就在这里。如果你对这些区别只是停留在了解的阶段，那是帮助不了你改善发音的，必须要重复练习（一个发音反复练习几百次就有效了）。

英语口语私家车三人英语对话

Private cars A: Hello.Today, let’stalk something about private cars. B: OK .Private cars are a hot topic now. More and more families own private cars. It has been playing a significant role in people's daily activities. Private cars are a convenient means of transportation .If I have private car, I can go everywhere I like. A: Nowadays more and more private cars have entered thousan ds of ordinary families. Private cars are used every day to carry i n people to and from work. At weekends, private cars take famil ies on joyful outings. C:Yes,there is no doubt that private cars will have a great devel opment on the economic growth. The rapid car industry growth will contribute much to keeping the country's economy growin g at a higher rate in the near future. B:Yeah,you are right. But, private cars have a series of problems . In the first place, as more and more cars are produced and run in the street, a large volume of poisonous gas will be given off, causing actual harm to the health of people and a great deal of energy will be wasted. C: But I believe we can solve all of the problems in the near fut ure. Many countries research green cars, purification the exhau st, and they research new energy. I believe that this day will co

在线学基础英语口语

在线学基础英语口语、常用英语口语这些都是比较基础的英语口语，都非常常用，感兴趣的可以在线学一下：一、 Greetings 问候语 1. Hello! / Hi! 你好！ 2. Good morning / afternoon / evening! 早晨（下午/晚上）好！ 3. I'm Kelly. 我是凯莉。 4. Are you Tom? 你是汤姆吗？ 5. Yes, I am. / No, I'm not. 是，我是。/ 不，我不是。 6. How are you? 你好吗？ 7. Fine, thanks. And you? 很好，谢谢，你呢？ 8. I'm fine, too. 我也很好。 9. How is Lily / your wife / your husband? 莉莉好吗？/你妻子好吗？/你丈夫好吗？ 10. She is very well, thank you. 她很好，谢谢。 11. Good night,Sunny. 晚安，珊妮。 12. Good-bye, Mike. 再见，迈克。

13. See you tomorrow. 明天见。 14. See you later. 待会儿见。 15. I have to go now. 我必须走了。二、Expression In Class 课堂用语 16. May I come in? 我能进来吗？ 17. Come in, please. 请进。 18. Sit down, please. 请坐。 19. It's time for class. 上课时间到了。 20. Open your books and turn to page 20. 打开书，翻到第20页。 21. I'll call the roll before class. 课前我要点名。 22. Here! 到！ 23. Has everybody got a sheet? 每个人都拿到材料了吗？ 24. Any different opinion? 有不同意见吗？ 25. Are you with me? 你们跟上我讲的了吗？ 26. Have I made myself clear? 我讲明白了吗？

经典搞笑英语翻译

经典搞笑英语翻译 1．we two who and who？咱俩谁跟谁阿2．how are you ? how old are you? 怎么是你，怎么老是你？3．you don't bird me,I don't bird you 你不鸟我，我也不鸟你4．you have seed I will give you some color to see see, brothers！together up ！你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！5．hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!! 有事起奏，无事退朝6．you me you me 彼此彼此7．You Give Me Stop!! 你给我站住！8．know is know noknow is noknow 知之为知之，不知为不知… 9．W ATCH SISTER 表妹10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse''son can make hole!! 龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子会打洞！11．American Chinese not enough 美中不足12．one car come one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die 车祸现场描述13．heart flower angry open 心花怒放14．go past no mistake past 走过路过，不要错过15．小明：I am sorry! 老外：I am sorry too! 小明：I am sorry three! 老外：What are you sorry for? 小明：I am sorry five! 16．If you want money,I have no;if you want life,I have one! 要钱没有，要命一条17．I call Li old big. toyear 25. 我叫李老大，今年25。18．you have two down son。你有两下子。19．as far as you go to die 有多远，死多远！！！！20．I give you face you don''t wanna face,you lose you face , I turn my face 给你脸你不要脸，你丢脸，我翻脸