【学英语】老友记第一季第一集中英文台词S01E01

《老友记》第一季第一集（中央咖啡厅）没什么好说的！他只不过是我的同事There's nothing to tell. It's just some guy I work with.少来了，和你交往的男人…Come on. You're going out with a guy.多多少少一定有点问题！There's gotta be something wrong with him.他既驼背又戴假发？So does he have a hump and a hair piece?等一下，他是不是会吃粉笔？Wait. Does he eat chalk?我只是不希望你重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl. Oh.各位放轻松，这不算约会Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date.不过是两个人一起出去吃晚餐而且不上床It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.对我来说这就是约会Sounds like a date to me.做了个梦，在中学时代我站在餐厅中央…I'm back in high school, in the middle of the cafeteria...突然发现自己全身赤裸...and I realize I'm totally naked.对，没错我做过那样的梦Oh, yeah. I've had that dream.我低头一看，看见有一个电话…Then I look down and I realize there is a phone...在那里...there.而不是…没错Instead of... That's right!我没做过那样的梦没有That one, I've never had. No.突然，那个电话响了All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring.结果是我妈妈打来的And it turns out it's my mother.这非常奇怪因为她从来都不会打电话给我！Which is very, very weird because she never calls me.嗨Hi.这家伙说〝嗨〞的时候我却想杀了我自己This guy says "hello," I wanna kill myself.你还好吧，亲爱的？Are you okay, sweetie?我就感觉好像某人伸手进我的喉咙抓住我的小肠，从我的嘴里拉出来I feel like someone grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth...再在我的脖子上打结…要吃饼干吗？...and tied it around my neck. Cookie?卡萝今天搬走了她的东西Carol moved her stuff out today.哦Oh.我给你拿杯咖啡谢谢Let me get you some coffee. Thanks.呃Ew. Unh.不，不要！不要清理我的光环！No. No, don't! Stop cleansing my aura.不要管我的光环，好吗？Just leave my aura alone, okay?我会没事的，好吗？真的我希望她开心I'll be fine. All right? Really. I hope she'll be very happy.不，你并不希望是的，我不希望！No, you don't. No, I don't.叫她去死，是她离开了我！To hell with her. She left me!你从来都不知道她是女同性恋And you never knew she was a lesbian.不知道！行了吧！No! Okay?为什么每个人老是要提出来？Why does everyone keep fixating on that?她都不知道，我又怎么会知道？She didn't know. How should I know?有时候我希望我是女同性恋…Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.我讲得很大声吗？Did I say that out loud?没事的，罗斯你现在感到很痛苦All right, Ross. Look, you're feeling a lot of pain right now.你很生气，很伤心You're angry. You're hurting.我能告诉你解决方法是什么吗？Can I tell you what the answer is?脱衣舞厅！Strip joints!别这样，你单身了！有需求的！Come on, you're single. Have some hormones.我不想单身，好吗？See, but I don't want to be single, okay?我只想…再次结婚！I just wanna be married again.而我只想要一百万美金！And I just want a million dollars!瑞秋！Rachel?噢，老天爷，摩妮卡感谢上帝！Oh, God, Monica! Hi! Thank God!我刚到你那里去，而你不在那个拿着大锤子的家伙说I went to your building and this guy with a hammer said...你可能在这里你真在这里！...that you might be here, and you are.你想喝点咖啡吗？无咖啡因的Can I get you some coffee? Decaf.好了，各位，这位是瑞秋另一个林肯高中的幸存者Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor.这就是各位这是钱德、菲比This is everybody. This is Chandler and Phoebe...乔伊，还有你还记得我哥哥罗斯吗？...and Joey. And remember my brother, Ross?当然，嘿！嘿Sure! Hey.嗨天啊Hi. Oh, God.那你现在可以告诉我们了吗还是说我们在等着四位湿漉的伴娘?So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?好吧，大概在婚礼前半个小时Oh, God! Well, it started about a half-hour before the wedding.我在礼物间里I was in this room with all the presents...看着那个肉汁壶...and I was looking at this gravy boat.那是个非常好看的肉汁壶This really gorgeous Limoges gravy boat.然后，突然…有代糖吗？When all of a sudden... Sweet 'N Low?我发现…I realized...我对这个肉汁壶比对巴瑞更有冲动！...I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry.然后我吓呆了然后这个想法突然出现在脑中：Then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me:巴瑞看起来多像洋芋头先生啊How much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head.我总是觉得他眼熟，但是…You know, I mean, I always knew he looked familiar, but...总之我必须离开那里，我在想：Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering:〝我为什么这样做，我为谁这样做？〞"Why am I doing this?" And "Who am I doing this for?"我不知道该去哪里而且我知道我和你有点疏远了Anyway, I just didn't know where to go, and I know you and I have drifted apart...但你是我这个城市里唯一认识的人...but you're the only person I know in the city.而且没有受邀参加你的婚礼Who wasn't invited to the wedding.噢，我希望你不会把它当一回事…Oh, I was kind of hoping that wouldn't be an issue.我猜他给她买了个管风琴I'm guessing he bought her the big pipe organ...而她很不喜欢那个...and she's really not happy about it.老爸，我就是无法和他结婚Daddy, I just... I can't marry him.对不起I'm sorry.我只是不爱他了I just don't love him.这对我很有关系！Well, it matters to me.她真不应该穿那条裤子She should not be wearing those pants.我觉得应该把她推下楼I say push her down the stairs.把她推下楼…Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!爸爸，听我说！Come on, Daddy, listen to me!这就好像在我一生中所有人都告诉我：〝你是鞋子！〞It's like all of my life, everyone's always told me, "You're a shoe!〝你是鞋子…〞You're a shoe! You're a shoe! You're a shoe!"然后今天，我停下来对自己说：〝如果我不想成为鞋子呢？Then today I stopped and said, "What if I don't wanna be a shoe?如果我想成为一个包包？What if I wanna be a purse? You know?或一顶帽子？〞Or a hat?"不，我不是要你给我买帽子我是说我是帽子I don't want you to buy me a hat, I am a hat.这是个比喻，爸爸！It's a metaphor, Daddy!你看得出他哪里听不懂You can see where he'd have trouble.爸爸，这是我的生活Look, Daddy, it's my life.也许我可以和摩妮卡住在一起Well, maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.我猜我们已经确定她要和摩妮卡住在一起了…I guess we've established she's staying with Monica.也许那是我的决定Well, maybe that's my decision.也许我不需要你的钱Well, maybe I don't need your money.等等！我说也许！Wait! Wait! I said maybe!呼吸，呼吸好，就这样Okay. Just breathe, that's it.试着想一些让你镇定的事…Just try to think of nice, calm things.玫瑰上的雨滴，还有猫的胡须Raindrops on roses And whiskers on kittens门铃和雪橇铃，还有手套…Doorbells and sleigh bells And something with mittens啦啦啦，还有一些条状物…La la la something With string我现在好多了I'm all better now.我帮上忙啦I helped.瞧，这也许对你来讲是最好的知道吗？Look, this is probably for the best, you know?独立了，把握自己的生活Independence. Taking control of your life.还有，你还需要什么你可以随时来找乔伊And, hey, if you need anything, you can always come to Joey.我和钱德就住在对面而且他经常不在Me and Chandler live right across the hall. And he's away a lot.乔伊，不要再对她放电了今天是她结婚的日子！Joey, stop hitting on her. It's her wedding day.怎么啦，难道这还有什么规定吗？What? Like there's a rule or something?请不要再按了那是很恐怖的声音Please don't do that again. It's a horrible sound.我是保罗让他进来！Uh, it's Paul. Buzz him in.谁是保罗？保罗，红酒达人，保罗？Who's Paul? Paul, the wine guy, Paul?也许Maybe.等等，你今晚的〝不是真正约会〞是和红酒达人保罗？Wait a minute. Your "not a real date" is with Paul, the wine guy?他终于约你出去啦？是的！He finally asked you out? Yes.真是个可以写入日记的时刻Ooh. This is a "Dear Diary" moment.瑞秋，等等，我可以取消…Rach, wait, I can cancel.不用你去吧，我不会有事的！Please, no. Go, I'll be fine.罗斯，你没事吧？你希望我留下来吗？Ross, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?能留下就太好了…That'd be good.真的？不，去吧！那可是红酒达人保罗耶！Really? No, go on! It's Paul, the wine guy.进来，保罗，这是…Hi, come in. Paul, this is...大家各位，这是保罗...everybody. Everybody, this is Paul.保罗！红酒达人！Paul, the wine guy.红酒达人！我没听清楚你的名字，是保罗吗？Wine guy. I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?请坐，两秒钟就好好Okay. Sit down. Two seconds. Okay.我刚拔掉四根睫毛不是个好兆头Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.那么瑞秋，你今晚…打算做什么？So, Rachel, what are you up to tonight?我本来应该到阿鲁巴度蜜月Well, I was supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon...所以，没事做！...so, nothing.对呀，你连蜜月都无法去Right. You're not even getting your honeymoon.不过，阿鲁巴，这个时候？God. No, no. Although, Aruba. Heh. This time of year? Eh.你可以谈论一下…Talk about your...大蜥蜴...big lizards.总之如果今晚你不想自己一个人的话Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight...乔伊和钱德要过来帮我组装我的新家具...Joey and Chandler are helping me with my furniture.对，而且我们为此感到兴奋Yes, and we're very excited about it.谢谢了，不过我想今晚还是留在这里吧Actually, thanks, but I'm just gonna hang out here tonight.今天真是漫长的一天是呀，好吧It's been a long day. Oh, sure. Okay. Sure.菲比，你要来帮忙吗？Hey, Pheebs, you wanna help?噢，我希望我能，但是我不想Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to.我应该把支架固定在侧面I'm supposed to attach a bracket-y thing to the side things...用螺纹蜗轮ing a bunch of these little worm guys.我没有支架，没有看到螺纹蜗轮I have no bracket-y thing, I see no worm guys whatsoever...而且我的腿麻了...and I cannot feel my legs.这是什么？What's this?我不知道I have no idea.搞定书架了！完工了！Done with the bookcase. All finished.这是卡萝最喜欢的啤酒This was Carol's favorite beer.她总是直接从罐子喝，我该知道的She always drank it out of the can. I should have known.罗斯，我来问你一个问题Hey. Ross, let me ask you a question.她得到家具、音响、超赞的电视…She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV.那你得到了什么？What did you get?你们啊You guys.天呀你被耍了Oh, God. Oh, my God. You got screwed.我的老天！我知道，我真是个笨蛋Oh, my God. I know, I know. I'm such an idiot.当她一个礼拜见四、五次牙医我就该知道了I should've caught on when she went to the dentist four and five times a week.谁的牙齿需要这么干净？I mean, how clean can teeth get?我哥哥正在克服这种事呢他真是一团糟My brother's going through that. He's such a mess.你是怎么克服的？How did you get through it?他可以试着砸烂她的一些贵重的东西He might try accidentally breaking something valuable of hers.比如她的…腿？Say her... Leg?那样也可以！Heh. That's one way of going through it, yeah.我则是砸了她的手表Me, I went for the watch.你真的砸了她的手表？You actually broke her watch? Mm.巴瑞，对不起，对不起Barry, I'm sorry. I am so sorry.我知道你可能认为和那天我对你说跟你穿袜子做爱有关，但不是的You probably think it's about making love with your socks on, but it isn't.这和我有关，我只是…It isn't, it's about me. And I...嘿，机器又把电话挂断了不管怎样…Hi. Machine cut me off again. Anyway...知道什么最吓人的吗？如果每个人只有一个女人适合他呢？You know what's scary? What if there's only one woman for everybody?我是说如果你得到一个女人，就这样I mean, what if you get one woman, and that's it?不幸的是，以我的例子来讲是她…得到一个女人Unfortunately, in my case, there was only one woman for her.你在说什么？〝一个女人〞？What are you talking about? One woman.那就好像你只吃一种口味的冰淇淋That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you.让我告诉你，罗斯还有很多种口味Let me tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there.有碎糖口味、饼干口味然后还有香草口味There's rocky road and cookie dough and bing cherry vanilla.还可以加糖条、果仁或者鲜奶油一起吃！You can get them with jimmies or nuts or whipped cream.这是你一生中最棒的时刻了！This is the best thing that ever happened to you.你难道是八岁结婚的？You got married. You were like, what, 8?欢迎回到现实里！拿起汤匙！Welcome back to the world. Grab a spoon.我真不知道我是饿了还是饥渴I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.离我的冰箱远点！Then stay out of my freezer.从她离开我之后，我…Ever since she walked out on me, I...怎么啦？What? What?你想边吃面条边讲出来？You wanna spell it out with noodles?不，这本该在和你第五次约会时才能说出来的No, it's more of a fifth date kind of revelation.噢，所以会有第五次约会罗？Oh, so there's gonna be a fifth date?会有吗？Isn't there?我觉得会有Yeah, yeah. I think there is.你要说什么？What were you gonna say?好吧Well... Er, uh...自从她离开我之后…Ever since she left me, um...我就一直…...I haven't been able to perform...无法行房...sexually.天啊，对不起Oh, God! Oh, God! I am so...对不起…没关系I'm so sorry. It's okay.被人吐水应该不是你现在需要的Being spit on is probably not what you need right now.唔…Um...多久了？How long?两年Two years.哇！Wow!我真高兴你砸了她的手表！I'm glad you smashed her watch.那你还希望有第五次约会吗？So you still think you might want that fifth date?是的Yeah.是的，我希望Yeah, I do.我乔安妮接受查理斯为我的合法丈夫I, Joanie, take you, Charles, as my lawful husband.你是否接受乔安妮…看吧Do you take Joanie...? Oh! See.可是乔安妮爱佳奇！就是这里不同！But Joanie loved Chachi. That's the difference.〝拿起汤匙〞"Grab a spoon."你知道我多久没拿汤匙了吗？Do you know long it's been since I grabbed a spoon?〝比利，别逞英雄〞这句话对你有没有意义？Do the words, "Billy, don't be a hero," mean anything to you?是这样的，就算我想…You know, here's the thing. Even if I could get it together enough...约一个女人出来...to ask a woman out...我该约谁？...who am I gonna ask?是不是很不可思议？Isn't this amazing?我以前从来没泡过咖啡I mean, I have never made coffee before in my life.是很不可思议恭喜你That is amazing. Congratulations.你现在刚好有心情有没有想做个蛋饼之类的东西…While you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make a Western omelet or something...不过我还不太饿…Although, actually I'm really not that hungry this morning.早安早安Good morning. Good morning.早安早安Morning. Morning.早安早安，保罗Morning. Morning, Paul.你好，保罗嘿，是保罗，对吗？Hello, Paul. Hi. Paul, is it?我昨晚很开心I had a really great time last night.谢谢你!太感谢你了!Thank you. Thank you so much.再聊好的We'll talk later, okay? Yeah.谢谢 Thank you.那不是真正的约会！That wasn't a real date.那你真正的约会都在干什么？What the hell do you do on a real date?闭嘴，把我的桌子搬回去好的！Shut up and put my table back. Okay.好啦，孩子们，我要去工作啦All right, kids, I gotta get to work.不过如果我不把那些数字输入也不会有什么差别If I don't input those numbers, it doesn't make much of a difference.你们都有工作吗？So, like, you guys all have jobs?对，我们都有Yeah, we all have jobs.这样我们才有钱买东西See, that's how we buy stuff.对，我是演员Yeah, I'm an actor.哇，我有见过你的作品吗？Wow. Would I have seen you in anything?哦，应该没有，大部分是地方性节目Oh, I doubt it. Mostly regional work.等等，除非你看过翻拍的《木偶奇遇记》Unless you happened to catch the Wee One's production of Pinocchio.〝瞧，老木匠，我是个真正的小男孩〞"Look, Geppeto. I'm a real live boy."别这样羞辱我I will not take this abuse.没错，对不起You're right. I'm sorry.我曾经是个小木偶…Once I was a wooden boy A little wooden boy你今天怎么样？睡得好吗？So how are you doing today? Did you sleep okay?和巴瑞谈过吗?我无法停止微笑Did you talk to Barry? I can't stop smiling.看得出来，就好像你睡觉时有个衣架在你嘴里I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.我知道，他只是太…I know. He's just so...你还记得你和托尼多马哥吗？Remember you and Tony De Marco?是的，记得就好像那样，但有感觉Oh, yeah. Well, it's like that. With feelings.哇，你有麻烦了Oh, wow, are you in trouble!好，我要醒过来，去工作Okay, okay. I am just going to get up, go to work...而且不要整天想着他...and not think about him all day.或者只是站起来去工作Or else I'm just gonna get up and go to work.喔，祝我好运！为什么？Oh, wish me luck! What for?我要去找工作之类的事I'm gonna go get one of those job things.嘿，摩妮卡！嘿，弗兰妮，欢迎回来！Hey, Monica. Hey, Franny. Welcome back.佛罗里达怎么样？How was Florida?你跟人上床了，对吧？You had sex, didn't you?你怎么知道的How do you do that?那么，是和谁？你认识保罗吗？So, who? You know Paul?保罗，红酒达人？Paul, the wine guy?是的，我认识保罗Oh, yeah, I know Paul.你认识他就好像我认识他一样？You mean, you know Paul like I know Paul?你开玩笑吧？保罗还欠我人情呢Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul.在我之前，他两年都无法行房Before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years.那当然是谎言！Of course it was a line.为什么？为什么有人会做这样的事情？Why? Why would anybody do something like that?我想更精确的答案是We're looking for an answer more sophisticated than:〝为了和你上床〞"To get you into bed."是因为我吗？Is it me?是因为我会散发某种信号吗？Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs...只有狗和有感情问题的男人才会成应到？...and men with severe emotional problems can hear?好啦，过来这里，把你的脚给我All right, come here. Give me your feet.我只是以为他是个好人I just thought he was nice, you know?我真不敢相信你不知道那是谎言！I can't believe you didn't know it was a line.猜猜怎么样？Guess what.你找到工作啦？开玩笑吗？You got a job? Are you kidding?我一点经验都没有！I'm trained for nothing.我今天被十二个面试员嘲笑I was laughed out of 12 interviews today.而且你还这么高兴Yet you're surprisingly upbeat.你也会高兴的如果你发现名牌皮靴特价…Well, you would be too if you found Joan and David boots on sale...打五折！...50 percent off.是呀，你真了解我…Oh, how well you know me.这双是〝我不需要工作，我不需要父母They're my new "I don't need a job or my parents.我买了新皮靴〞的皮靴！I've got great boots" boots.你用什么付帐的？信用卡How'd you pay for them? Uh, credit card.那谁付帐单呢？And who pays for that?我爸爸Um, my father.你不能靠你爸爸过一辈子You can't live off your parents your whole life.我知道，这就是为什么我要结婚I know that. That's why I was getting married.别逼她，第一次独立生活是很困难的Give her a break. It's hard being on your own for the first time.谢谢你别客气Thank you. You're welcome.记得我第一次来这个城市我才十四岁I remember when I first came to this city, I was 14.我妈妈刚自杀我的继父又进了监狱My mom had killed herself and my stepdad was back in prison.然后在这里我不认识任何人And I got here, and I didn't know anybody.然后我和一个在港务局给人擦车窗的…I ended up living with this albino guy who was cleaning windshields...白化病人住在一起最后他也自杀了...outside Port Authority. And then he killed himself.然后我找到按摩这份工作所以相信我，我完全了解你的感受And then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel.你想说的话是：The word you're looking for is:〝总之…〞"Anyway..."好了，准备好了吗？All right. You ready?还没有来吧I don't think so. Oh, come on.剪掉，剪掉Cut. Cut.剪掉，剪掉，剪掉Cut, cut, cut.嘿好耶Hey. All right.欢迎来到真实世界！Welcome to the real world.它很糟糕，但是你会喜欢的！It sucks. You're gonna love it.好啦，够啦你要在沙发上睡？Well, that's it. You gonna crash on the couch?不，我总要回家啊你还好吗？No. No, I gotta go home sometime. Are you gonna be okay?是的Yeah.看我刚才在地板上发现什么Look what I just found on the floor.什么？What?那是保罗的手表That's Paul's watch.你就把它放回原处吧You can just put it back where you found it.好吧，晚安，各位Oh, boy. All right. Good night, everybody.晚安Good night.唔唔Hmm. Hmm.喔，抱歉不，你来Oh, sorry. No. Oh, no. Go.不，你吃吧平分？No, have it, really. Split it?好吧好吧Okay. Okay.谢谢Thanks.你可能不知道，在高中…You probably didn't know this, but back in high school I had...我曾暗恋过你...a major crush on you.我知道I knew.你知道？You did? Oh.我还以为你一直认为我是摩妮卡的书呆子哥哥呢I figured you thought I was Monica's geeky older brother.我是这么认为的I did. Oh.听着，你是不是认为…Listen, do you think...你不要太在意我的脆弱这已经成为习惯And try not to let my vulnerability become any kind of a factor here.但是你认为我可以约你出去吗？Do you think it would be okay if I ask you out sometime, maybe?可以啊Yeah.也许Maybe.好Okay.好吧，我可能会约你…Okay, maybe I will.晚安晚安Good night. Good night.再见See you.嗯哼Mm-hm.等等，你怎么啦？Wait, wait. Hey, what's with you?我刚刚拿起汤匙I just grabbed a spoon.我真不敢相信我听到的Can't believe what I'm hearing.我真不敢相信我听到的I can't believe What I'm hearing here怎么啦，我说你有个我说你有个…What? I said you had... What? I said you had...有完没完我的老毛病又犯了？Would you stop? Oh, was I doing it again?没错Yes.有人要咖啡吗？Would anybody like more coffee?你泡的，还是你只是端过来？Did you make it or are you just serving it?只是端过来好吧，我要杯咖啡I'm just serving it. I'll have a cup of coffee.孩子们，新的梦…Kids, new dream.我在拉斯维加斯我是丽莎·明妮莉…I'm in Las Vegas. I'm Liza Minnelli.。