英文最搞笑的笑话20篇(精挑细选)
有关经典英语小笑话爆笑-20个英语笑话爆笑超短
有关经典英语小笑话爆笑|20个英语笑话爆笑超短笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。
笑话带来的幽默感可以让我们交到更多的朋友。
小编分享有关爆笑经典英语小笑话，希望可以帮助大家!有关爆笑经典英语小笑话：Good News and Bad NewsThe soldiers had been marching and fighting, they were dirty, hot andtired. One day, the general announced: “My men, I have some good newsand some bad news for you. Which one would you like first?””The good news!” they all shouted.”OK,” said the General. “The good news is that you will each be receivinga complete change of clothing.””Hurrah!” chorused the soldiers.”And now for the bad news. Jack, you will change with John. John, youwill change with Tom. Tom, you will change with Robert. Robert ....好消息和坏消息士兵们连续的行军，作战，他们又累又热又脏。
一天，将军宣布：“士兵们，我有一些好消息和坏消息要告诉你们。
你们愿意先听哪个呢?”“好消息!”他们嚷道。
“好吧，”将军说，“好消息就是你们每个人都可以彻底的换一身衣服。
”“乌拉!”士兵们高兴地大叫起来。
“现在呢，该是坏消息了。
杰克，你将和约翰换衣服，约翰，你和汤姆换，汤姆，你和罗伯特换，罗伯特……”有关爆笑经典英语小笑话：Help! Doctor!Help! Doctor! Please come quickly!”My ten-year-old son has just swallowed a pen!””Ok , I’ll be right there. I’ll be there in 10 to 20 minutes.””Good,but....what am I supposed to do in the meantime?””Just use another pen!”急诊“唉!医生!你赶快来!我那个十岁的小孩刚刚吞下去一支笔!”“喔!我马上过去，大概十分钟或二十分钟就会到了!””是，不过在.....在这个中间我该怎么办呢?”“用别的笔嘛!”有关爆笑经典英语小笑话：Do What You CanOriginally in EnglishIn a courtroom, the judge sentenced a criminal to thirty years in prison and theprisoner said, “But Sir, I won’t live that long!”So the judge replied, “Don’t worry; just do what you can!”尽力而为就好在法庭上，法官宣判某个罪犯要服三十年徒刑。
让人笑到不行的英文笑话
让人笑到不行的英文笑话让人笑到不行的英文笑话篇一Look at My Socks 瞧瞧我的袜子“Say, that’s an interesting pair of socks you’ve got on, Charlie, one green and one red.”“嘿，查理，你穿的这双袜子真有趣，一只绿色一只红色。
”“Yeah, and I’ve got another pair just like it at home.”“是吗，我家里还有一双同样的袜子呢。
”让人笑到不行的英文笑话篇二Make a Wish 许个愿吧!Every morning on his way to work, a businessman passed a house where he saw a woman beating her boy on the head with a loaf of bread. But on this particular day, he noticed that she was hitting him with a piece of chocolate cake.每天早晨一位商人在上班途中都会经过一户人家，他总是看见一个女人用一条面包打她儿子的头部。
但今天却比较特别，他发现她正用一块巧克力蛋糕打他的头。
Unable to restrain his curiosity, he rang the doorbell and the woman answered.他忍不住好奇，便按了那户人家的门铃。
女人听了铃声，出来开门。
“Madam, I couldn’t help but notice that every day you beat your child with a loaf of bread...”“这位太太，每天经过这里我都忍不住会注意到你用一条面包打你儿子……”“That’s true...”“那倒是不假……”“And yet today I observed t hat you were hitting him with a piece of chocolate cake.”“可是今天我却看见你用一块巧克力蛋糕打他。
英文笑话带翻译爆笑_50个英语笑话爆笑超短
英文笑话带翻译爆笑_50个英语笑话爆笑超短爆笑英文笑话带翻译篇一笨小孩A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer ..., “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.一个小男孩走进一家理发店，理发师低声对他的顾客说，“我再也没见过比这个小子更笨的小孩了，你看着，我证明给你看。
”" The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks,"Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.理发师拿出一张1美元的钞票放在一只手上，另一只手上则拿着两个25美分的硬币，把小孩叫跟前问，“你想要哪只手上的?” 男孩拿走了那两个25美分然后走了。
"What did I tell you?" said the barber."That kid never learns!" Later,“瞧我刚才怎么跟你说的?”when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.理发师说，“那小子就不会学精点!” 过了一会，顾客离开了理发店，他发现刚才那个小男孩从一间雪糕店走出来。
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question?“嘿，小家伙! 我可以问你个问题吗?Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"你为什么不拿那一美元，而拿那两个25 美分呢?”The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!小男孩舔了一口手上的雪糕回答说，“我要是拿了那一美元的钞票，以后那剪头的再也不会给我钱了!”爆笑英文笑话带翻译篇二五百遍In the traffic court of a large mid-western city,在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里，a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through ared light.一位年轻女士被带到法官面前，她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。
笑破肚皮的英语笑话
笑破肚皮的英语笑话
1
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?
妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!
2
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
小男孩问他的父亲：“爸爸，结婚要花多少钱?”
His father replied, "I don't know, son, because I'm
still paying for it now."
他的父亲答复说：“儿子，我不知道，因为我现在还在为它付账呢。
”
3
“闺女，香蕉用英语怎么说? ”“banana!”
“苹果呢?” “iPhone!”
“那大苹果呢?” “iPad!”
4
Student A: When do people talk least?
Student B: In February.
Student A: Why?
Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.
学生甲：人们在什么时候说话最少?学生乙：在二月。
学生甲：为什么呢?学生乙：因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。
英语爆笑小笑话12篇
英语爆笑小笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑小笑话，希望大家会喜欢!英语爆笑小笑话：智力缺陷"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied, "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "Well, what sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' " Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."“医生，你能不能告诉我，”鲍勃问，“对于一个看上去很正常的人，你是怎样判断出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再没有比这容易的了，”医生回答，“问他一个简单的问题，简单到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不干脆，那你就知道是怎么回事了。
英语幽默笑话
英语幽默笑话英语幽默笑话（精选15篇） 在繁忙的学习⼯作中，适时读⼀些幽默笑话，放松⾃⼰，劳逸结合⼗分重要。
下⾯是⼩编为你整理的⼏则英语幽默精彩段⼦，让你笑到停不下来 英语幽默笑话篇1 ⼀、我是单⾝汉 Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt.A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms.Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked."Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor." 杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.⼀位年轻美貌的护⼠拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护⼠问."有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单⾝汉." ⼆、死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭 Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho. Husband:It's okey.To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals. 妻⼦：你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的⼈80%都是喝酒的. 丈夫：那有什么?据我调查,死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭的. 三、位置上的冰激凌 "Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine." "Yours?Can you prove it?" "Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it." "请原谅,你占了我的位置." "你的位置?你能征明这点吗?" "能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌." 四、别⽆选择 One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?" Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?" ⼀天,夏娃问亚当："你当真爱我吗?" 亚当⽆可奈何地回答："我还有的选择吗?" 五、两个男孩 Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says,"Why are you arguing?" One boy answers,"We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher,"When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher. 当⽼师⾛进教室时,两个男孩在争论. ⽼师是说：你们在争论什么? ⼀个男孩回答：‘我们捡到⼀张10块,我们决定把它给⼀个说最⼤的谎的⼈.’ ‘你们应该觉得羞耻’⽼师说,‘当我像你们那么⼤的时候,我连什么是说谎都不知道.’ 两个男孩把钱给了那个⽼师. 六、两只鸟 Teacher:Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which? Student:I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher:Please tell us. Student:The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. ⽼师：这⼉有两只鸟,⼀只是⿇雀.谁能指出哪只是燕⼦,哪只是⿇雀吗? 学⽣：我指不出,但我知道答案. ⽼师：请说说看. 学⽣：燕⼦旁边的`就是⿇雀,⿇雀旁边的就是燕⼦. 七、鱼⽹ "Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. "你能告诉我鱼⽹是什么做的吗," ⽼师发问道. "把许多⼩孔⽤绳⼦栓在⼀起就成了鱼⽹了." ⼩⼥孩回答道. ⼋、他赢了 Tommy:How is your little brother,Johnny?Johnny:He is ill in bed.He hurt himself. Tommy:That's too bad.How did that happen? Johnny:We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won. 汤姆：约翰尼,你⼩弟弟好吗? 约翰尼：他害病卧床了.他受了伤. 汤姆：真糟糕,怎么回事⼉? 约翰尼：我们做游戏,看谁能把⾝⼦探出窗外最远,他赢了. 选我吧 英语幽默笑话篇2 ⼼不在焉的⽼师 An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street withone foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said： “Good evening，professor.How are you? “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.” 有⼀天，⼈们看见⼀个有名的⼼不在焉的⽼师在路上⾛，他的⼀只脚⼀直踏在街沟⾥，另⼀只脚踩在⼈⾏道上。
爆笑的英文小笑话大全笑死人
爆笑的英文小笑话大全笑死人笑话一般是短小精悍、句子结构紧凑、运用艺术手段造成巨大的夸张和想象,使矛盾发展到最尖锐的地步,然后突然得到意外的解决,从而生成强烈的喜剧效果。
小编精心收集了爆笑的英文小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!爆笑的英文小笑话篇1骗子，骗子A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband wasmissing.老婆与隔壁邻居到警察局报案说她的老公失踪了。
The policeman asked her for a description.警察要求，她形容一下。
She said,"He is 35 years old,6 feet 4 inches,has dark eyes,dark wavy hair,an athleticbuild,weighs 185 pounds,is soft-spoken ,and is good to the children."她说：“他三十五岁，六尺四寸，黑眼睛，波浪状的深色头发;体格健壮，体重185磅，说话很轻，而且对小孩子很好。
”The next-door neighbor protested,隔壁邻居期提出反驳说："Your husband is 5 feet 4 inches,chubby,bald,has a big mouth,and is mean to your children."“你老公五尺四寸，胖嘟嘟的，秃头，有一个太嘴巴，而且对你的小孩很刻薄。
”The wife replied,"Yes,but who wants"THIS KIND OF STUFF"back?"老婆回答说：“你说对了，可是谁会要这种没用的废物回来呀?”爆笑的英文小笑话篇2怕老婆的老公A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to asserthimself.有一位怕老婆的老公接受心理治疗师的建议要坚持自己的主见。
20篇简短英语笑话
20篇简短英语笑话1. Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!2. Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!3. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!4. Why don't skeletons fight each other?They don't have the guts!5. Why did the tomato turn red?Because it saw the salad dressing!6. What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear!7. Why don't oysters donate to charity?Because they are shellfish!8. What did one wall say to the other wall?I'll meet you at the corner!9. Why don't scientists trust stairs?Because they're always up to something!10. What kind of shoes do thieves wear?Sneakers!11. Why don't skeletons fight each other?They don't have the guts!12. Why did the bicycle fall over?Because it was two-tired!13. What do you call fake spaghetti?An impasta!14. How do you organize a space party?You planet!15. Why did the math book look sad?Because it had too many problems!16. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!17. Why did the stadium get hot after the game?All of the fans left!18. What do you call a fish wearing a crown?King Cod!19. Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!20. How do you catch a squirrel?Climb a tree and act like a nut!总结：以上是20个简短的英语笑话，每个笑话都是一个独立的小故事，通过幽默诙谐的句子展示出逗人发笑的效果。
英语小幽默笑话
英语小幽默笑话一、教室里的笑话一天，小明走进教室，发现黑板上写着一行字：“I'm very good!（我很好！）”于是他皱了皱眉，拿起粉笔在旁边写了一行字：“I'm good too, thank you!（我也很好，谢谢！）”当小明坐下时，他才发现旁边的黑板上写着：“I'm a blackboard!（我是一个黑板！）”二、动物园里的笑话John 去动物园里参观。
他走到狮子旁边，然后用手指挖狮子笼子外面一点点的土。
突然，狮子怒吼一声，跳到笼子外面。
John 吓得立刻跑了起来。
然而，狮子并没有追赶他，反而开始用爪子挖土，好像在等待什么。
John 一边跑一边回头看，这时突然明白过来，原来狮子是在等着他掏出足够多的土，这样狮子就可以把他的手指当早餐了。
三、医院里的笑话将军身体不适，于是他去了医院。
医生给将军把脉后说：“将军，您需要多休息，少工作。
”将军愤怒地说：“我是将军，我必须站在最前线，为国家效力！”医生点点头，继续说道：“我明白了，将军。
那么我们就把床移到最前线吧！”四、旅行的笑话一个美国人，一个英国人和一个中国人一起参加了一个环球旅行团。
当他们来到一个孤岛时，他们被困在那里了。
他们决定每人去找各自国家的救援。
一个月后，美国人挨饿了，但看到了一点希望。
他用信号枪向天空发出了SOS。
几天后，一架直升飞机来把他救走了。
两个月后，英国人饿得快死了，但他坚信救援一定会来。
于是他写了一封希望的信并抛入大海。
几天后，一个军舰把他救了起来。
而中国人一直没有食物，他只好靠椰子充饥。
六个月后，他终于爬到了岛的最高峰，大喊一声：“我是第一批到达这个岛屿的人！”五、餐厅里的笑话一位顾客走进餐厅，服务员领他坐下，然后递给他菜单。
一会儿，服务员走过来问：“先生，您想点什么？”顾客犹豫了一下，然后说道：“给我请一个有人性的厨师。
”服务员笑笑，离开了。
等了一会儿，服务员回来了，手上端着一个镜子。
他把镜子递给顾客说：“先生，这是我们厨师的倒影。
笑到停不下来的英语笑话大全
笑到停不下来的英语笑话大全笑到停不下来的英语笑话篇一Okay, Who Cut the Cheesee?谁在放屁?A young man was visiting his girlfriend's parents for the first time.有位年轻人第一次去拜访女朋友的父母亲。
He had been quite nervous about it, and his nervousness was manifesting itself as gastricdistress.他好紧张，紧张到肠胃不舒服。
Agonizingly, he felt the urgent need to release some intestinal gas.令人苦恼的是，他急着要排除肠内的空气。
Surreptitiously, he emitted a "silent but deadly. "于是他放了个臭得要命的闷屁。
"Rover! " the girlfriend's mother admonished.“路宝!”女朋友的妈妈警告家里的狗。
The young man realized that the family dog was sitting under his chair, and saw a way out ofhis difficultieis.那个老兄知道他女朋友家的狗就坐在他椅子下，想出了一个解决难题的方法来。
Desperately seeking relief, he let out a Larger hooter.他急于舒解，便放了一个更大的响屁。
"Rover!" shouted the mother.“路宝!”妈妈又一次叫着她家的狗。
Thinking his problems were over for sure, the young guy emitted a real window rattler.年轻人以为他的问题已经结束了，于是他放了一个连窗户都为之振动的大响屁。
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全（带翻译）
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全（带翻译）下面是编辑整理的英语小笑话，希望能让您捧腹大笑!英语小笑话【一】1、The Fish NetCan you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.翻译：鱼网你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。
把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
小女孩回答道。
2、律师和胳膊、宝马A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer", he whined."You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off"翻译：一个律师打开他的宝马车门，突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了，警察赶到现场，律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。
“警察同志，看看他们把我的车弄的”律师哀怨地说。
笑死人英文小笑话大全
笑死人英文小笑话大全冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象，越来越受到大家的关注，尤其在网络、杂志、微博、电影上十分盛行。
店铺整理了笑死人的英文小笑话，欢迎阅读!笑死人的英文小笑话篇一My 15一year一old son came bounding in from school and found me in bed. "Don' t you feel well，Mom?” he asked with concern. "No, I don't,” I said.我十五岁的儿子连跑带颠地跑回家里发现我躺在床上。
“妈妈，您觉得不舒服吗?”他关心地问。
“是的，我有点不舒服:”我说。
"Well, don't you worry about dinner," he reassured me "I'll carry you down to the stoves”“那么，您别担心晚饭了:”他安慰我说:“我可以把你背到楼下的炉灶前去。
”笑死人的英文小笑话篇二Teacher: Johnny .why are you late for school every morning?老师:约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到?Johnny; Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says，’School一Go Slow.’约翰尼:每当我经过学校附近的拐角处，就见路牌上写着“学校—缓行”。
笑死人的英文小笑话篇三Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?老师:马修，新西兰的气候怎么样?Matthew: Very Cold, sir.马修:先生，那里的天气很冷。
Teacher: Wrong.老师:错了。
Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrivesfrozen!马修:可是，先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。
英语幽默笑话汇总
英语幽默笑话汇总下面是店铺整理的英语幽默笑话大全，欢迎大家阅读!英语幽默笑话一：可怜的男人A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month."Bartender: "That should make you happy."The man: "No, the month is up today!"一个男人坐在酒吧里，伤心至极。
酒吧招待：“你怎么了?跟老婆闹矛盾了?”男人：“我们吵了一架，她说一个月都不跟我说话。
”酒吧招待：“那你应该高兴才是啊!”男人：“不，今天是这个月的最后一天。
”英语幽默笑话二：太黑了，看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
好笑的英文英语笑话大全
好笑的英文英语笑话大全笑话,是供人们消遣或交际的一种创造性的语言形式,其主要功能是调侃、娱乐或讽刺。
小编精心收集了好笑的英文英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!好笑的英文英语笑话篇1Free advice? 免费的建议?A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?""I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.医生和律师正在一个宴会上交谈。
他们的谈话常被一些人打断，那些人向医生描述自己的病症，期望获得免费的治疗建议。
如此这般一个钟头后，医生有点恼火，于是他问律师：“如果不在办公时间，你是怎么阻止人们向你咨询法律问题的?”“我会给他们建议，”律师回答，“然后我会给他们寄去帐单”。
英语笑话带翻译_20个英语笑话爆笑超短
英语笑话带翻译_20个英语笑话爆笑超短英语笑话带翻译篇1A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital ER.有一名男子患有心赃病，被送往医院急诊室。
The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away.医生告诉他，除非他立刻接受心脏移植，否则他就活不成。
Another doctor runs into the room and says,另外一名，医生跑进急诊室说：“you are in luck,two hearts just became avaible ,so you will get to choose which one youwant.One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker."“你真幸运，刚好有两个心脏可移植，所以你要选择你要哪一个心脏。
一个是属于律师，另一个是属于社会工作者。
”The man quickly responds,"the attorney's ."这名男子很快响应说：“律师的。
”The doctor says,"Wait!Don't you want to know a little about them before you make yourdecision?"医生说：“等等!你不想在你做决定之前了解一下他们吗?”The man says,"I already know enough.We all know that social workers are bleeding hearts andthe attorney's probably never used his .So I will take attorney's!"这名男子说：“我已经知道够了。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏
20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏一些幽默的英语笑话，能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣，从而提高英语的阅读能力，今天店铺在这里为大家分享20个英语笑话爆笑超短，希望大家喜欢这些英语笑话!20个英语笑话爆笑超短篇一1.Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。
”“不要相信梦，亲爱的。
据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。
”妈妈答道。
“那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。
”汤姆说。
2.On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。
超好笑英语笑话
超好笑英语笑话精选超好笑英语笑话⼤全 ⽣活需要笑话，笑话能愉悦我们的⼼情，今天我们就⼀起来看看精选超好笑英语笑话⼤全吧! 精选超好笑英语笑话⼤全(⼀) Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?" Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him. Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one. Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?" Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door. George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped. "What do you want now?" Bill said to him. George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?" 幽默故事翻译： 军营⾥有⼆名⼠兵，⼀个叫乔治，⼀个叫⽐尔。
爆笑到不行的英语笑话大全
爆笑到不行的英语笑话大全笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。
笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。
下面是店铺带来的爆笑到不行的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!爆笑到不行的英语笑话篇一病人和他的大夫A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house，doing or saying nothing. T o please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we'll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not，maybe next time.”一位妇女总是抱怨其丈夫在家里转来转去，无所事是，为了使老婆高兴，他找到了精神病学专家。
“你就躺在沙发上，我们来谈谈。
”精神病医生告诉他:“如呆你想起什么就说，没有的话，下次再讲也行。
”The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour，the doctor woke hirn up and said，"That will be all for today—$100，please. "The patient paid and left.这位男士舒适地躺在沙发上，很快就入睡了。
到了一小时，大夫唤醒了他说:“今天就到这儿吧，请交100元。
”病人付了钱之后就走了，从此，那个人每周三、四来就诊。
每次，他总是一句话也不说，光是睡觉，而且每次都付钱。
第三周，病人来后坐下，然后又跳了起来。
The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time，he fell asleep without saying a word，but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in，sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,"， marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"“啊哈!”大夫惊喜道，“你想出要说的话了吗?”"Yes，do you need a partner ?"“是的，你需要一个助手吗?”爆笑到不行的英语笑话篇二执行指令My friend Gilbert and some other truck drivers were to deliver loads of gravel out in the country. The directions they were given said to go down a certain road and, when they came to a cow tied to a fence post, to turn right.我朋友吉尔波特和一些卡车司机到农村去送沙石。
关于超短的爆笑英语笑话大全
关于超短的爆笑英语笑话大全关于超短的爆笑英语笑话篇1guest:What is the fly doing in my soup?waiter:He is swimming,sir.客人：这只苍蝇在我汤里干嘛?招待：他在游泳,先生.关于超短的爆笑英语笑话篇2As you get older three things happen.The first is your memory goes,and I can't remember the other two...当你慢慢变老,会发生三件事.第一件是你会丧失记忆.而我已经记不起来其它两件了……关于超短的爆笑英语笑话篇3Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".汤姆的借口老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到?汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。
"关于超短的爆笑英语笑话篇4Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.关于超短的爆笑英语笑话篇5A mother and son were washing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the room. Suddenly, there was a crash of breaking dishes, then complete silence. The girl looked at her fatherand said, “It was Mom”。
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Joke 1
One day after school the teacher said to his students， “Tomorrow morning，if any one of you can answer my first question．I'll allow him or her to go home earlier．” The next day， when the teacher came into the classroom，he found the blackboard daubed．He was very angry and asked， “Who did it？Please stand up! ” “It' s me，”said Bob， “Now，I can go home，
Neighbor: Your overcoat? But how could it make such a noise?
Husband: I... I happened to be inside the coat.
Joke 4
The next morning at school, the teacher asked Peter if he had learned the three words by heart. Yes, he said proudly, I, I am your father; (then pointing to a girl) She, She is your mother; You, You are my son.
Joke 3
Neighbor: I heard a big noise in front of your house last night. What happened to you?
Husband: It was nothing. My wife was a bit angry, and threw my overcoat out of the window.
The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?" The defendant looked up and said, "Give me yday, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
Peter was a clever boy. On his first day at school, he learned three words: I, You and She. The teacher taught him how to make sentences with those words. The teacher said, I, I am your teacher; (then pointing to a girl) She, She is your classmate; You, You are my student. When Peter went home, his father asked him what he had learned at school. Peter said at once, I, I am your teacher; (then pointing to his mother) She, She is your classmate; You, You are my student. His father got angry and said, I, I am your father; (then pointing to his wife) She, She is your mother; You, You are my son. Joke 5
"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."
Joke six
Three men, a doctor, an accountant and a lawyer are dead and they appear in front of God. God tells them that they have to answer one question in order to get to Heaven. He looks at the doctor and asks, 'There was a movie that was made about a ship that sank after hitting an iceberg, what was its name?' The doctor answers, 'The Titanic' and he is sent through. He then looks at the accountant and says, 'How many people died in that ship?' Fortunately the accountant had just watched the movie and he answers, '1 500!'. God sends him through and then finally turns to the lawyer and commands, in a very heavy voice,