雅思作文批改---经典版 (9)
雅思大作文批改范例9
Some people think that their children’s liveswill be different from their own. Givereasons and your own experience andexamples. Over the past fifty 50 years, thedevelopment of technology and the economyhas enhanced pe ople’s lives life dramatically.We may find the differences between the lives of our parents and usis obvious.It is an undeniable fact that the living conditions in last century compared to nowadayswas quite harsh. Take myfamily as an example. When I was a little girl, at my home we owned a nine-inch black and white TV set; besides, and only two TV channels were available during that time. Although it seems unimpressive terrible in the eyes now, in Shanghai during th e early 1980’s Shanghai, it was the most fashionable machinein our neighborhood. I still remember onsummer nights, my father was always requiredto move the TV set to our backyard in thesummer nights, and over ten male neighborscrowded there to watch football matches. However, having a TV set having no longer anoddity been in fashion. These days, anincreasing number of people, can watch various shows via multiple media tools. Since the Internet has been becomewidespread applied in around the world, atpresent, netizens may prefer to watch moviesonline rather than sitting in a sofa waiting for the scheduled TV shows. In addition,computersand the Internet also enable theirusers to experience different activities at the same time. People can enjoy their favoritesongs meanwhile, while using MSNmassager to video chat with their friends. Theycan also and beside, download Americansitcoms from a public resource shared website. Definitely, this lifestyle was completely totally out of my parents’ im agination.In conclusion, I would like to say that it is difficult for to us to knowanswer what theworld will be like; however, I am sure that the world for the next generation, however, I amsure it will be far away from ours.总点评：本篇文章得分: 5.5。
雅思作文批改---经典版 (9)
Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?It is admitted that every adult in the world has been allured or misguided, at least once or twice, to spend a lot of money on something that beyond their economical ability or even unneeded. This is a common phenomenon and will not hurt much if everything is still under control. However, there are always some people who cross the limitation and put themselves in a dangers situation such as being involved in debt or credit crisis. In this essay, I will briefly analyze the possible reasons of this severe phenomenon and suggest a few solutions to tackle this problem.The most important reason is obvious to everyone. Influenced by the pictures or videos showing the exaggerated rich life of certain milliniors on social websites, some people may lose their mind due to the jealousness and desire to own same life and same things. These people, who only attracted by the glorious face of the rich and ignore their talent and effort on work, are apt to fulfill their thirst by purchasing expensive things that they cannot afford, instead of working harder to pursue financial power. Besides, lacking confidence and under stress also contribute to the misbehaviour.In order to address this problem, what is needed is education. This phenomenon is the result of improper self-consciousness, while a good education, starting form pregnancy all the way to adulthood and beyond, means raising people to be responsible. Moreover, a proper educated people would acquire sufficient skills to hunt a proper job and a variety of decent habits to better their life. Undoubtedly, people who enjoy a happy life would not tend to be allured by the other people’s lives.To sum up, the either real or fictional rich life stories in the mass media do impact some people in a negative way. However, a proper and promptly education could handle the problem from the root.总点评：本篇文章得分: Good。
雅思写作9分范文
雅思写作9分范文The following is a sample essay written by a student who achieved a band score of 9 on the IELTS Writing task.Topic: The role of advertisements in our modern society.In our modern society, advertisements play a significant role in shaping our choices and influencing our behavior. From billboards on busy streets to pop-up ads on websites, we are constantly bombarded with advertising messages. While some argue that advertisements have a negative impact on society, I believe that when used responsibly, they can be valuable sources of information and entertainment.Firstly, advertisements provide us with valuable information about products and services. In today's competitive market, companies are constantly striving to gain an edge over their competitors. Advertisements serve as a platform for these companies to communicate the features and benefits of their products to potential customers. For example, pharmaceutical companies use advertisements to educate the public about new medications and their potential side effects. Without such advertisements, people would be less informed about their healthcare options. Furthermore, advertisements can be a source of entertainment. Many advertisements these days are designed to be visually appealing and amusing, using creative storytelling techniques and humor to capture the attention of the audience. For instance, Super Bowl commercials have become as eagerly anticipated as the game itself, with companies spending millions of dollars to createentertaining and memorable ads. These ads not only entertain us but also provide a welcome break from the mundane television programming.Moreover, advertisements stimulate economic growth by creating demand and driving consumption. The power of advertisements to influence consumer behavior is well-documented. Advertisements create a desire for products, which in turn stimulates demand and drives consumption. This, in turn, stimulates economic growth by creating jobs, generating tax revenue, and improving the overall standard of living. For example, a successful advertising campaign can lead to increased sales for a company, enabling them to hire more employees and invest in new technologies.Of course, it is important to acknowledge the negative aspects of advertising as well. Advertisements often promote unrealistic beauty standards, leading to body image issues and low self-esteem, especially among young people. Moreover, advertisements can sometimes be misleading or manipulative, making exaggerated claims about the effectiveness or safety of a product. However, it is crucial to remember that these negative aspects are not inherent to advertisements themselves, but rather a result of unethical practices by certain advertisers. Therefore, it is essential to regulate the advertising industry and ensure that advertisements are truthful, fair, and do not exploit vulnerable populations.In conclusion, advertisements play an important role in our modern society. When used responsibly, they provide valuable information about products and services, entertain us, and stimulate economic growth. While it is important to address the negative aspects ofadvertising, it is also crucial to recognize the potential benefits they bring. By striking a balance between freedom of expression and consumer protection, we can harness the power of advertisements to drive positive change in our society.。
雅思写作批改范例
Some people think government should pay for public libraries in every town, while others think it is a waste of money because people can access information from the internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.It is argued that government should invest more money in public libraries; the other people believe that we can search the information from the internet, so government should not cost money in public libraries. I agree with this idea.Surfing on the internet is the fashion way to search information in modern life, there are a lot of people use computer or mobile phone to find some information on the internet. It is because people believe that internet is the most convenient platform to find the key. People can get all the information they want effectively, rather than go to the library cost a large amount of time to read book.On the other hand the books in libraries are though many times of check and reserve, that can ensure the authority of every book. So some people would like to go to library to read the book and find the truth. Especially in medical book, if doctor find some information is wrong, it will affect the patient who was saved by the doctor. Considering the reality some people also go to the library to read book.In my opinion the book in library cannot follow the pace of the times, although the information in book is more authoritative, the new research will replace the old knowledge, but the book in library cannot update like the internet.In sum, government is unnecessary to spend more money into public libraries. Because of the development of the times, an increasing number of people will use internet to get information.———————————————————大作文修改————————————————————小马过河雅思作文批改老师给出的修改意见：Some people think government should pay for public libraries in every town, while others think it is a waste of money because people can access information from the internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.It is argued that government should invest more money in public libraries; the ( 不需要the) other people believe that we can search the information from the internet, so government should not cost （cost主语一般是物，后面经常跟双宾语cost sb money，如this book cost me 5 yuan.你这里应该用spend，与on 搭配，或者是pay 与for搭配） money in public libraries. I agree with this idea.总体评价就是模板痕迹太过严重，这个开头得分是5.5分左右，这个内容虽然有自己的，但是句式太多太多人用了。
专业外教批改雅思作文范例
TA/TR 5 ♦ addresses the task only partially; the format may be inappropriate in places♦ expresses a position but the development is not always clear and there may be no conclusions drawn♦ presents some main ideas but these are limited and not sufficiently developed; there may be irrelevant detailCC 5 ♦ presents information with some organization but there may be a lack of overall progression ♦ makes inadequate, inaccurate or over-use of cohesive devices♦may be repetitive because of lack of referencing and substitution♦ may not write in paragraphs, or paragraphing may be inadequateLR 6 ♦ uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task♦ attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy♦makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but they do not impede communicationGRA 6 ♦ uses a variety of complex structures♦ produces frequent error-free sentences♦ has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errorsScore 22/5.5Other Items Affecting ScoreUnder length √No. of words 249 Penalty .5 Off-topic x Memorized ——Illegible ——Overall BandScore5.5-.5=5band range band range9 [35-36] 4 [15-17)8.5 [33-35) 3.5 [13-15)8 [31-33) 3 [11-13)7.5 [29-31) 2.5 [9-11)7 [27-29) 2 [7-9)6.5 [25-27) 1.5 [5-7)6 [23-25) 1 [3-5)5.5 [21-23) 0.5 [1-3) 5 [19-21) 0 [0-1) 4.5 [17-19) ————Hello dear student, it’s time to check your writing. You may notice some minimal or maximal changes in your essay which will help you improve your writing abilities, to meet the standards of IELTS writing.First we will review the questionThis is an argument type of questionViewpoint Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school Task Discuss if the advantages outweigh the disadvantagesMy article:Now, let us review your introductionNowadays, the problem whether children should accept foreign language courses at primary school or secondary school is under debate. People’s point varies from person to person. Personally, I prefer to the former view that children should begin learning foreign language at primary school. Structure You were able to present a social background, aviewpoint and your opinionCoherence and Cohesion Coherence and correlation is evidentV ocabulary Adequate vocabulary collocations were utilized Grammar Adequate range of structure was utilizedNotes and Suggestions Modify your introduction with the providedmodifications to make it more profound and clearMoving forward, let us review your body paragraphsNo one can deny that starting learning foreign language at secondary school has plenty of merits. The main reason of that is junior students’studying ability is much better than of primary schools’students. As age increases, their advanced comprehension makes a difference to grasp keys of other languages.Additionally, the possibility of cultural discrepancy is evident. Children may get confused on what their real culture is; they might even neglect their native culture and entirely adapt the foreign culture. Finally, native language speakers are the most effective teachers to help primary students learn a new language; however there are few native speakers or most of them are also just taught. Thus, they may struggle with helping children learn to speak the language comfortably.This paragraph discuss the side you do not slantStructure You were able to present the generalization, and you alsoprovided one necessary contention and supportingdetails, but still needs to provide two more contentionswith their supporting detailsCoherence and Cohesion Coherence and correlation is evident, despite the errorswith the structureV ocabulary Adequate vocabulary collocations were utilized Grammar Adequate range of structure was utilizedNotes and Suggestions Modify your paragraph with the provided two morenecessary contention along with their supporting detailsto complete your paragraph and also make it profound.However, benefits of learning early outweigh that of learning late. First of all, it is widely accepted that children whose age are under 10 is at their best stage of language study according to countless surveys. Children who access to foreign language at the informative stage of their age are fast learners. Secondly, the earlier we start learning, the longer time can be spent on foreign language’s study. Those who accept language at primary school would have more years to get better commandof foreign language. Last but not least is about their interest. Children exposed toforeign language at primary school tend to cultivate more enthusiasm which isbeneficial for their following study.This paragraph discuss that learning foreign language at early age brings more advantagesStructure You were able to present the generalization, and you alsoprovided enough contentions and supporting ideas, Coherence and Cohesion Coherence and correlation is evidentV ocabulary Adequate vocabulary collocations were utilized Grammar Adequate range of structure was utilizedNotes and Suggestions Modify your paragraph with the provided modificationsand alterations to make it more profoundLastly, let us review your conclusionIn summary, the positive sides of learning foreign language from primary school outweigh its negative sides. I personally believe that training from primary school is a better choice. It is high time that we should create a foreign language learning atmosphere for children as early as possible.Structure You were able to ingeminate your stand, and put forwarda suggestionCoherence and Cohesion Coherence and correlation is evidentV ocabulary Adequate vocabulary collocations were utilized Grammar Adequate range of structure was utilizedNotes and Suggestions Conclusion is okayTo teacher:Could you please tell me my mistakes as detailed as possible?I have almost no idea about the whole structure of the article,the length of every paragraph,the vocabulary’s diversity and whether my bullet points are appropriate and clear or not.Thank you so much.Yours sincerely,SerenaDear Serena,You got the topic, although your ideas are not enough. Basically, your essay should have 250 words or more but you had less, you typically lack idea on the other point of the topic, so that is where I really needed to add two more necessary contention to make your essay and paragraph complete. A friendly reminder advice dear, every time you make your essay, you should research on former essay having the same topic to gather information and details. Or do what I do sometimes, I search for the basics, like for example, in this topic I search for the disadvantages/advantages of learning foreig n language at early age… there I will read and form my ideas… ☺practice more dear, and reading is really essential… the more you read the more ideas you will have… ☺Keep Learning,Larigen。
批改雅思英文作文
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雅思大作文解析-习作修改
studying abroad大作文学生习作原文--- 感谢暑假班的某位同学First Draft & First Proof Read第一段：Nowday, as much people know how important study abroad by increased availability, expecially in language. In China, every school open the English course, start at infant school. As part of student choice go abroad study, they can broaden their horizons, knowledge of culture and learn survival skills.请找出其中的错误，并提出修改建议。
第一段词句修改及翻译：Nowday, as much people know how important study abroad by increased availability, expecially in language. 当今由于出国留学越来越普及, 很多人意识到出国留学的重要性，特别是外语学习。
Nowadays, many people know the importance of overseas study due to its increasing availability, especially language education. In China, every school open the English course, start at infant school. 在中国从幼儿园开始每个学校都开设英语课。
In China, every school has English course, starting from infant school. As part of student choice go abroad study, they can broaden their horizons, knowledge of culture and learn survival skills. 另外，出国留学还可以拓宽学生的眼界，学习文化知识和生存能力。
雅思写作批改 (9)
Some people think that elderly people should live with their children, while others think that they should live in nursing homes. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.
1.当分析青少年犯罪的根本原因的时候，我们应该考虑社会和经济环境。
2.基因工程使人们能培育出抗旱的农作物品种，因此可以提高土地利用率。
3.密集种植对天然植物有严重的负面影响，这可能对农业的可持续发展有威胁。
4.我们应该认识到体育课的重要性，因为它可以促进学生的身心健康，增强他
们的自信心。
5.学校活动的设置要能让孩子体会到成就感和提升他们的幸福。
雅思作文批改
雅思作文批改雅思作文批改【篇1】雅思作文批改在现代社会，父母因繁忙的工作而无法亲自照顾孩子，这一现象已成为普遍问题。
对于这些孩子的照顾，社会上存在两种主要观点：一是将孩子送至托儿所，二是由祖父母来照顾。
本文将探讨这两种观点，并提出个人看法。
首先，托儿所作为一种专业的儿童照顾机构，具备一定的优势。
托儿所通常配备专业的教育和护理人员，能够为孩子提供系统的早期教育和社交机会。
在这里，孩子们可以与同龄人互动，培养社交技能，同时接受科学的启蒙教育。
这种环境不仅有助于孩子的智力发展，还能培养他们的团队合作精神和解决问题的能力。
然而，托儿所的缺点在于其缺乏家庭的温暖和个性化的关注。
孩子在托儿所中可能会感到孤独，尤其是在需要情感支持的时候，无法得到及时的安慰和关怀。
另一方面，由祖父母照顾孩子则有其独特的优势。
祖父母通常拥有丰富的生活经验和无私的爱，他们能够给予孩子更多的情感支持和家庭温暖。
祖父母与孩子之间的亲密关系有助于孩子的心理健康发展，孩子在这样的环境中成长，往往会感到更加安全和被爱。
然而，祖父母可能因年事已高而缺乏足够的精力和专业知识来应对现代教育的需求。
他们可能无法跟上教育理念的变化，或者在体力上难以应对活泼好动的孩子。
综上所述，托儿所和祖父母各有其优缺点。
个人认为，最佳的解决方案是结合两者的优势。
在工作日，孩子可以在托儿所接受专业教育，而在周末或假期，则由祖父母提供家庭关怀。
这样，孩子既能获得全面的教育，又能享受家庭的温暖。
这种安排不仅能让孩子在智力和情感上得到全面的发展，还能让父母在工作和家庭之间找到平衡。
此外，社会和政府也可以考虑提供更多的支持，如灵活的工作时间和家庭友好的政策，以帮助父母更好地照顾孩子。
通过多方的共同努力，我们可以为孩子创造一个更加健康和幸福的成长环境。
【篇2】雅思作文批改在雅思作文的批改过程中，学生常常会提出各种问题，这次有两个问题引起了我的注意。
第一个问题是关于如何有效地组织文章结构。
英语考试作文-9类雅思写作常见错误解读 以错为鉴可涨分数
英语考试作文9类雅思写作常见错误解读以错为鉴可涨分数雅思写作要提分难点很多，思路观点表达是一种(无话可说)，语法错误是另一种(满屏小错误，亮瞎考官眼)，要绕过你出口成章言之有物也许需要日积月累，可减少甚至杜绝语法错误则可在短时间内强化实现。
本文分析了雅思写作中常见的9中错误，大家可以对照学习与总结。
雅思写作常见错误一：句子连接 - 错误范例：1. Modern communication technology is progressing ata rapid pace, the volume and extent of cultural transmissions in the contemporary period have far exceeded those of earlier eras.2. Modern communication technology is progressing ata rapid pace, therefore the volume and extent of cultural transmissions in the contemporary period have far exceeded those of earlier eras.- 错误原因分析：1、逗号不能连接具有完整主谓宾的句子;2、有大量同学认为此时加上一个表因果的词”therefore”就可以连接两个句子了，但therefore是副词，同样不能连接两个完整的句子- 改正后：1. Modern communication technology is progressing ata rapid pace, so the volume and extent of cultural transmissions in the contemporary period have far exceeded those of earlier eras.2. Modern communication technology is progressing ata rapid pace; therefore, the volume and extent of cultural transmissions in the contemporary period have far exceeded those of earlier eras.雅思写作常见错误二：句式杂糅 (run-on sentence) - 概念解释：A run-on is a sentence in which two or more independent clauses (i.e., complete sentences) are joined without appropriate punctuation or conjunction.- 错误范例：There are many students go abroad.- 错误原因分析：大量考生忽视了中英文写作表达的区别，常常按照中文句子的分割方式，从意义出发，只要意思没表达完，便可以一句连一句地写下去，直至内容结束，即出现“一逗到底”的断句方式;而英文句子是按照结构分割的，只要句子含有完整的主谓结构，就可以独立成句。
雅思官方范文(考官亲自修改)
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages？(剑9-1)Traditionally, children began to study foreign languages at secondary school, but now this course has been introduced to many primary schools. This can help children master the foreign language earlier, but there are some problems that should not be ignored.To begin with, primary school students can pick up languages much more easily than high school students. Their learning is less likely to be affected by the mother tongue. When they grow up into adolescents, they may feel shy and reluctant to communicate with others in a foreign language.Another benefit is that primary school students have more time to learn foreign languages. As the primary timetable is flexible, the class can be designed to be shorter and more frequent. Meanwhile, the teacher can add more entertainment elements to the course and maintain learners’enthusiasm and progress.There are , however, some disadvantages. Primary school teachers are generalists, and may not have the necessary language skills themselves. The learning process in primary school is not continuous and systematic. If the course is not standardised, students would be at different levels when they enter the high school. Moreover, learning foreign languages too early may affect the acquisition of a person’s mother tongue. A good example is that many young children in China start to learn English at a very young age, but their ability to speak and write Chinese declines.Overall, early exposure to foreign languages would benefit children in terms of learning other languages and understanding foreign cultures. But when and how primary school students should learn foreign languages should also be considered. (265 words)Official- revised by examiner.Traditionally, children have begun studying foreign languages at secondary school, but introducing them earlier is recommended by some educationalists. This policy has been adopted by some educational authorities or individual schools, with both positive and negative outcomes.The obvious argument in its favour is that young children pick up languages much more easily than teenagers. Their brains are still programmed to acquire their mother tongue, which facilitates learning another language, and unlike adolescents, they are not inhibited by self-consciousness.The greater flexibility of the primary timetable allows for more frequent, shorter sessions and for a play-centered approach, thus maintaining learners’ enthusiasm and progress. Their command of the language in later life will benefit from this early exposure, while learning other languages subsquently will be easier for them. They may also gain understanding of the other cultures.There are, however, some disadvantages. Primary school teachers are generalists, and may not have the necessary language skills themselves. If specialists have to be brought in to deliver these sessions, the flexibility referred to above is diminished. If primary language teaching is not standardised, secondary schools could be faced with a great variety of levels in different languages within their intake（招生人数）, resulting in a classroom experience which undoes（消除）the earlier gains. There is no advantage if enthusiastic primary pupils become demotivated（失去动力的）as soon as they change schools. However, these issues can be addressed strategically within the policy adopted.Anything which encourages language learning benefits society culturally and economically, and early exposure to language learning contributes to this. Young children’s innate（天生的）abilities should be harnessed to make these benefits more achievable. (269 words)。
雅思作文9分范文
雅思作文9分范文9分考官级雅思大作文范文之幸福如何定义It is no doubt true that the majority of people would like to be happy in their lives. While the personalnature of happiness makes it difficult to describe, there do seem to be some common needs that we all share with regard to experiencing or achieving happiness.Happiness is difficult to define because it means something different to each individual person. Nobody can fully understand or experience another person's feelings, and we all have our own particular passions from which we take pleasure. Some people, for example, derive a sense of satisfaction from earning money or achieving success, whereas for others, health and family are much more important. At the same time, a range of other feelings, from excitement to peacefulness, may be associated with the idea of happiness, and the same person may therefore feel happy in a variety of different ways.Although it seems almost impossible to give a precise definition of happiness, most people would agree that there are some basic preconditions to achieving it. Firstly, it is hard for a person to be happy if he or she does not have a safe place to live and enough food to eat. Our basic survival needs must surely be met before we can lead a pleasant life.Secondly, the greatest joy in life is usually found in shared experiences with family and friends, and it is rare to find a person who is content to live in completeisolation. Other key factors could be individual freedom and a sense of purpose in life.In conclusion, happiness is difficult to define because it is particular to each individual, but I believe that our basic needs for shelter, food and company need to be fulfilled before we can experience it.(292 words, band 9)。
雅思作文批改英语
雅思作文批改英语批改雅思作文范文：原文：Nowadays, the issue of whether to give homework to students has sparked a heated debate. Some people believe that homework is an essential part of the learning process, while others argue that it is an unnecessary burden on students. In my opinion, I believe that homework can be beneficial if it is given in moderation and is used as a tool to reinforce learning.Firstly, homework can provide students with the opportunity to review and practice what they have learned in class. This can help to reinforce the concepts andskills that have been taught, and can lead to a deeper understanding of the material. Additionally, homework can also help to develop important study habits and time management skills, which are essential for success inschool and in life.However, it is important to recognize that too much homework can have negative effects on students. Excessive amounts of homework can lead to stress, anxiety, and a lack of sleep, which can have a detrimental impact on students' mental and physical health. Furthermore, if homework is not carefully planned and thoughtfully assigned, it can become a mindless and repetitive task that does not contribute to meaningful learning.In conclusion, while homework can be a valuable toolfor reinforcing learning and developing important skills, it is important that it is given in moderation and is carefully planned. Teachers should consider the individual needs and abilities of their students when assigning homework, and should strive to create assignments that are meaningful and engaging. By doing so, homework can be a beneficial and valuable part of the learning process.批改：Nowadays, the issue of whether to assign homework to students has sparked a heated debate. Some people believe that homework is an essential part of the learning process, while others argue that it is an unnecessary burden on students. In my opinion, I believe that homework can be beneficial if it is given in moderation and is used as a tool to reinforce learning.Firstly, homework can provide students with the opportunity to review and practice what they have learnedin class. This can help to reinforce the concepts andskills that have been taught, and can lead to a deeper understanding of the material. Additionally, homework can also help to develop important study habits and time management skills, which are essential for success in school and in life.However, it is important to recognize that too much homework can have negative effects on students. Excessive amounts of homework can lead to stress, anxiety, and a lack of sleep, which can have a detrimental impact on students' mental and physical health. Furthermore, if homework is notcarefully planned and thoughtfully assigned, it can become a mindless and repetitive task that does not contribute to meaningful learning.In conclusion, while homework can be a valuable toolfor reinforcing learning and developing important skills, it is important that it is given in moderation and is carefully planned. Teachers should consider the individual needs and abilities of their students when assigning homework, and should strive to create assignments that are meaningful and engaging. By doing so, homework can be a beneficial and valuable part of the learning process.改进版：In today's educational landscape, the debate over whether to assign homework to students has become increasingly contentious. While some argue that homework is an essential component of the learning process, others contend that it places an unnecessary burden on students. In my view, I believe that homework can be advantageous if it is assigned in moderation and serves as a tool toreinforce learning.To begin with, homework offers students the opportunity to review and practice the material covered in class. This can help to solidify their understanding of key concepts and skills, leading to a deeper comprehension of the subject matter. Additionally, homework can also foster the development of crucial study habits and time management skills, which are vital for academic success and personal growth.However, it is crucial to acknowledge that an excessive amount of homework can have adverse effects on students. The overwhelming workload can lead to heightened stress, anxiety, and sleep deprivation, all of which can significantly impact students' mental and physical well-being. Moreover, if homework assignments are not thoughtfully planned and tailored to students' needs, they can become mindless and repetitive tasks that do not contribute meaningfully to their learning.In conclusion, while homework can be a valuable toolfor reinforcing learning and cultivating essential skills, it is imperative that it is assigned judiciously and with careful consideration. Educators should take into account the individual needs and abilities of their students when assigning homework, and should strive to create assignments that are meaningful and engaging. By doing so, homework can serve as a beneficial and integral part of the learning process.总结：以上是对原文的改进版本，通过对原文进行修饰和扩展，使得文章更加丰富和生动。
雅思作文07--09真题全
最近出现了这样一个现象 。 。 。 （题目改写 ） 在本文中我将证明这个现象 最近出现了这样一个现象。 题目改写） 是好的，从旅游者（A）,旅游地的经济(B), 环境保护（C）来讲 Recent days witness the advent of the phenomenon that …(题 目改写). In this essay, I will prove this trend positive in terms of A, B, and C. l 中段 1
� Argumentative Essay 好坏论 19 1. u (2007.6.2)Today, more and more developing countries are expanding tourist industry. Why is it the case? Do you regard it as positive or negative? (半新题/社会现象类) 一个现象，好吗？ 越来越多的人在旅游/追求时尚/享受国外的产品，好吗？ l 首段：
2. (2007.6.16) In many countries traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. Some people think that there are negative effects on both families and the society.
development positive or negative? (社会现象类)
5. u (2007.10.20) Some experts believe that it is better for students to learn a foreign language in primary schools rather than in secondary schools. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? (青少年教育类)
9 Band Essays 考官范文 雅思9分作文 Simon
1.Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducingtraffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.People have differing views with regard to the question of how to make our roads safer. In my view, both punishments and a range of other measures can be used together to promote better driving habits.On the one hand, strict punishments can certainly help to encourage people to drive more safely. Penalties for dangerous drivers can act as a deterrent, meaning that people avoid repeating the same offence. There are various types of driving penalty, such as small fines, licence suspension, driver awareness courses, and even prison sentences. The aim of these punishments is to show dangerous drivers that their actions have negative consequences. As a result, we would hope that drivers become more disciplined and alert, and that they follow the rules more carefully.On the other hand, I believe that safe driving can be promoted in several different ways that do not punish drivers. Firstly, it is vitally important to educate people properly before they start to drive, and this could be done in schools or even as part of an extended or more difficult driving test. Secondly, more attention could be paid to safe road design. For example, signs can be used to warn people, speed bumps and road bends can be added to calm traffic, and speed cameras can help to deter people from driving too quickly. Finally, governments or local councils could reduce road accidents by investing in better public transport, which would mean that fewer people would need to travel by car.In conclusion, while punishments can help to prevent bad driving, I believe that other road safety measures should also be introduced.(269 words, band 9)2.These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers goout to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or anegative development?It is true that men are increasingly likely to take on the role of househusband, while more women than ever are the breadwinners in their families. There could be several reasons for this, and I consider it to be a very positive trend.In recent years, parents have had to adapt to various changes in our societies. Equal rights movements have made great progress, and it has become normal for women to gain qualifications and pursue a career. It has also become socially acceptable for men to stay at home and look after their children. At the same time, the rising cost of living has meant that both marriage partners usually need to work and save money before starting a family. Therefore, when couples have children, they may decide who works and who stays at home depending on the personal preference of each partner, or based on which partner earns the most money.In my view, the changes described above should be seen as progress. We should be happy to live in a society in which men and women have equal opportunities, and in which women are not put under pressure to sacrifice their careers. Equally, it seems only fair that men should be free to leave their jobs in order to assume childcare responsibilities if this is what they wish to do.Couples should be left to make their own decisions about which parental role each partner takes, according to their particular circumstances and needs.In conclusion, the changing roles of men and women in the family are a result of wider changes in society, and I believe that these developments are desirable.(274 words, band 9)3.Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste ofresources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?Some people argue that it is pointless to spend money on the protection of wild animals because we humans have no need for them. I completely disagree with this point of view.In my opinion, it is absurd to argue that wild animals have no place in the 21st century. I do not believe that planet Earth exists only for the benefit of humans, and there is nothing special about this particular century that means that we suddenly have the right to allow or encourage the extinction of any species. Furthermore, there is no compelling reason why we should let animals die out. We do not need to exploit or destroy every last square metre of land in order to feed or accommodate the world’s population. There is plenty of room for us to exist side by side with wild animals, and this should be our aim.I also disagree with the idea that protecting animals is a waste of resources. It is usually the protection of natural habitats that ensures the survival of wild animals, and most scientists agree that these habitats are also crucial for human survival. For example, rainforests produce oxygen, absorb carbon dioxide and stabilise the Earth’s climate. If we destroyed these areas, the costs of managing the resulting changes to our planet would far outweigh the costs of conservation. By protecting wild animals and their habitats, we maintain the natural balance of all life on Earth. In conclusion, we have no right to decide whether or not wild animals should exist, and I believe that we should do everything we can to protect them.(269 words, band 9)4.Happiness is considered very important in life.Why is it difficult to define?What factors are important in achieving happiness?It is no doubt true that the majority of people would like to be happy in their lives. While the personal nature of happiness makes it difficult to describe, there do seem to be some common needs that we all share with regard to experiencing or achieving happiness.Happiness is difficult to define because it means something different to each individual person. Nobody can fully understand or experience another person’s feelings, and we all have our own particular passions from which we take pleasure. Some people, for example, derive a sense of satisfaction from earning money or achieving success, whereas for others, health and family are much more important. At the same time, a range of other feelings, from excitement to peacefulness, may be associated with the idea of happiness, and the same person may therefore feel happy in a variety of different ways.Although it seems almost impossible to give a precise definition of happiness, most people would agree that there are some basic preconditions to achieving it. Firstly, it is hard for a person to be happy if he or she does not have a safe place to live and enough food to eat. Our basic survival needs must surely be met before we can lead a pleasant life. Secondly, the greatest joy in life is usually found in shared experiences with family and friends, and it is rare to find a person who is content to live in complete isolation. Other key factors could be individual freedom and a sense of purpose in life.In conclusion, happiness is difficult to define because it is particular to each individual, but I believe that our basic needs for shelter, food and company need to be fulfilled before we can experience it.(292 words, band 9)5.Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxesthat support the state education system.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?Some people believe that parents of children who attend private schools should not need to contribute to state schools through taxes. Personally, I completely disagree with this view.For a variety of reasons, it would be wrong to reduce taxes for families who pay for private education. Firstly, it would be difficult to calculate the correct amount of tax reduction for these families, and staff would be required to manage this complex process. Secondly, we all pay a certain amount of tax for public services that we may not use. For example, most people are fortunate enough not to have to call the police or fire brigade at any time in their lives, but they would not expect a tax reduction for this. Finally, if wealthy families were given a tax discount for sending their children to private schools, we might have a situation where poorer people pay higher taxes than the rich.In my opinion, we should all be happy to pay our share of the money that supports public schools. It is beneficial for all members of society to have a high quality education system with equal opportunities for all young people. This will result in a well-educated workforce, and in turn a more productive and prosperous nation. Parents of children in private schools may also see the advantages of this in their own lives. For example, a company owner will need well qualified and competent staff, and a well-funded education system can provide such employees.In conclusion, I do not believe that any financial concessions should be made for people who choose private education.(269 words, band 9)6.When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent doyou agree or disagree?Many people choose their jobs based on the size of the salary offered. Personally, I disagree with the idea that money is the key consideration when deciding on a career, because I believe that other factors are equally important.On the one hand, I agree that money is necessary in order for people to meet their basic needs. For example, we all need money to pay for housing, food, bills, health care, and education. Most people consider it a priority to at least earn a salary that allows them to cover these needs and have a reasonable quality of life. If people chose their jobs based on enjoyment or other non-financial factors, they might find it difficult to support themselves. Artists and musicians, for instance, are known for choosing a career path that they love, but that does not always provide them with enough money to live comfortably and raise a family.Nevertheless, I believe that other considerations are just as important as what we earn in our jobs. Firstly, personal relationships and the atmosphere in a workplace are extremely important when choosing a job. Having a good manager or friendly colleagues, for example, can make a huge difference to workers’ levels of happiness and general quality of life. Secondly, many people’s feelings of job satisfaction come from their professional achievements, the skills they learn, and the position they reach, rather than the money they earn. Finally, some people choose a career because they want to help others and contribute something positive to society.In conclusion, while salaries certainly affect people’s choice of profession, I do not believe that money outweighs all other motivators.(275 words, band 9)7.Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other,while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.People have different views about whether we are more or less dependent on others nowadays. In my view, modern life forces us to be more independent than people were in the past.There are two main reasons why it could be argued that we are more dependent on each other now. Firstly, life is more complex and difficult, especially because the cost of living has increased so dramatically. For example, young adults tend to rely on their parents for help when buying a house. Property prices are higher than ever, and without help it would be impossible for many people to pay a deposit and a mortgage. Secondly, people seem to be more ambitious nowadays, and they want a better quality of life for their families. This means that both parents usually need to work full-time, and they depend on support from grandparents and babysitters for child care.However, I would agree with those who believe that people are more independent these days. In most countries, families are becoming smaller and more dispersed, which means that people cannot count on relatives as much as they used to. We also have more freedom to travel and live far away from our home towns. For example, many students choose to study abroad instead of going to their local university, and this experience makes them more independent as they learn to live alone. Another factor in this growing independence is technology, which allows us to work alone and from any part of the world.In conclusion, while there are some reasons to believe that people now depend on each other more, my own view is that we are more independent than ever.(279 words, band 7- 9)8.Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historicalattractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?It is sometimes argued that tourists from overseas should be charged more than local residents to visit important sites and monuments. I completely disagree with this idea.The argument in favour of higher prices for foreign tourists would be that cultural or historical attractions often depend on state subsidies to keep them going, which means that the resident population already pays money to these sites through the tax system. However, I believe this to be a very shortsighted view. Foreign tourists contribute to the economy of the host country with the money they spend on a wide range of goods and services, including food, souvenirs, accommodation and travel. The governments and inhabitants of every country should be happy to subsidise important tourist sites and encourage people from the rest of the world to visit them. If travellers realised that they would have to pay more to visit historical and cultural attractions in a particular nation, they would perhaps decide not to go to that country on holiday. To take the UK as an example, the tourism industry and many related jobs rely on visitors coming to the country to see places like Windsor Castle or Saint Paul’s Cathedral. These two sites charge the same price regardless of nationality, and this helps to promote the nation’s cultural heritage. I f overseas tourists stopped coming due to higher prices, there would be a risk of insufficient funding for the maintenance of these important buildings.In conclusion, I believe that every effort should be made to attract tourists from overseas, and it would be counterproductive to make them pay more than local residents.(269 words, band 9)9.Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test thesafety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favour ofthem because of their benefits to humanity.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.It is true that medicines and other products are routinely tested on animals before they are cleared for human use. While I tend towards the viewpoint that animal testing is morally wrong, I would have to support a limited amount of animal experimentation for the development of medicines.On the one hand, there are clear ethical arguments against animal experimentation. To use a common example of this practice, laboratory mice may be given an illness so that the effectiveness of a new drug can be measured. Opponents of such research argue that humans have no right to subject animals to this kind of trauma, and that the lives of all creatures should be respected. They believe that the benefits to humans do not justify the suffering caused, and that scientists should use alternative methods of research.On the other hand, reliable alternatives to animal experimentation may not always be available. Supporters of the use of animals in medical research believe that a certain amount of suffering onthe part of mice or rats can be justified if human lives are saved. They argue that opponents of such research might feel differently if a member of their own families needed a medical treatment that had been developed through the use of animal experimentation. Personally, I agree with the banning of animal testing for non-medical products, but I feel that it may be a necessary evil where new drugs and medical procedures are concerned.In conclusion, it seems to me that it would be wrong to ban testing on animals for vital medical research until equally effective alternatives have been developed.(270 words, band 9)10.In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will thiscause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken toreduce the impact of ageing populations.It is true that people in industrialised nations can expect to live longer than ever before. Although there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences of this trend, societies can take steps to mitigate these potential problems.As people live longer and the populations of developed countries grow older, several related problems can be anticipated. The main issue is that there will obviously be more people of retirement age who will be eligible to receive a pension. The proportion of younger, working adults will be smaller, and governments will therefore receive less money in taxes in relation to the size of the population. In other words, an ageing population will mean a greater tax burden for working adults. Further pressures will include a rise in the demand for healthcare, and the fact young adults will increasingly have to look after their elderly relatives.There are several actions that governments could take to solve the problems described above. Firstly, a simple solution would be to increase the retirement age for working adults, perhaps from 65 to 70. Nowadays, people of this age tend to be healthy enough to continue a productive working life. A second measure would be for governments to encourage immigration in order to increase the number of working adults who pay taxes. Finally, money from national budgets will need to be taken from other areas and spent on vital healthcare, accommodation and transport facilities for the rising numbers of older citizens.In conclusion, various measures can be taken to tackle the problems that are certain to arise as the populations of countries grow older.(265 words, band 9)11.Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool.Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh thebenefits?Many people, and children in particular, enjoy playing computer games. While I accept that these games can sometimes have a positive effect on the user, I believe that they are more likely to have a harmful impact.On the one hand, video games can be both entertaining and educational. Users, or gamers, are transported into virtual worlds which are often more exciting and engaging than real-lifepastimes. From an educational perspective, these games encourage imagination and creativity, as well as concentration, logical thinking and problem solving, all of which are useful skills outside the gaming context. Furthermore, it has been shown that computer simulation games can improve users’ motor skills and help to prepare them for real-world tasks, such as flying a plane. However, I would argue that these benefits are outweighed by the drawbacks. Gaming can be highly addictive because users are constantly given scores, new targets and frequent rewards to keep them playing. Many children now spend hours each day trying to progress through the levels of a game or to get a higher score than their friends. This type of addiction can have effects ranging from lack of sleep to problems at school, when homework is sacrificed for a few more hours on the computer or console. The rise in obesity in recent years has also been linked in part to the sedentary lifestyle and lack of exercise that often accompany gaming addiction.In conclusion, it seems to me that the potential dangers of video games are more significant than the possible benefits.(258 words, band 9)12.There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Isthe traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?It is true that a rich variety of musical styles can be found around the world. Music is a vital part of all human cultures for a range of reasons, and I would argue that traditional music is more important than modern, international music.Music is something that accompanies all of us throughout our lives. As children, we are taught songs by our parents and teachers as a means of learning language, or simply as a form of enjoyment. Children delight in singing with others, and it would appear that the act of singing in a group creates a connection between participants, regardless of their age. Later in life, people’s musical preferences develop, and we come to see our favourite songs as part of our life stories. Music both expresses and arouses emotions in a way that words alone cannot. In short, it is difficult to imagine life without it.In my opinion, traditional music should be valued over the international music that has become so popular. International pop music is often catchy and fun, but it is essentially a commercial product that is marketed and sold by business people. Traditional music, by contrast, expresses the culture, customs and history of a country. Traditional styles, such as ...(example)..., connect us to the past and form part of our cultural identity. It would be a real pity if pop music became so predominant that these national styles disappeared.In conclusion, music is a necessary part of human existence, and I believe that traditional music should be given more importance than international music.(261 words, band 9)13.Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their freetime to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individualteenager and society as a whole.Do you agree or disagree?Many young people work on a volunteer basis, and this can only be beneficial for both the individual and society as a whole. However, I do not agree that we should therefore force all teenagers to do unpaid work.Most young people are already under enough pressure with their studies, without being given the added responsibility of working in their spare time. School is just as demanding as a full-time job, and teachers expect their students to do homework and exam revision on top of attending lessons every day. When young people do have some free time, we should encourage them to enjoy it with their friends or to spend it doing sports and other leisure activities. They have many years of work ahead of them when they finish their studies.At the same time, I do not believe that society has anything to gain from obliging young people to do unpaid work. In fact, I would argue that it goes against the values of a free and fair society to force a group of people to do something against their will. Doing this can only lead to resentment amongst young people, who would feel that they were being used, and parents, who would not want to be told how to raise their children. Currently, nobody is forced to volunteer, and this is surely the best system.In conclusion, teenagers may choose to work for free and help others, but in my opinion we should not make this compulsory.(250 words, band 9)14.Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable.To what extent do you agree or disagree?Some hobbies are relatively easy, while others present more of a challenge. Personally, I believe that both types of hobby can be fun, and I therefore disagree with the statement that hobbies need to be difficult in order to be enjoyable.On the one hand, many people enjoy easy hobbies. One example of an activity that is easy for most people is swimming. This hobby requires very little equipment, it is simple to learn, and it is inexpensive. I remember learning to swim at my local swimming pool when I was a child, and it never felt like a demanding or challenging experience. Another hobby that I find easy and fun is photography. In my opinion, anyone can take interesting pictures without knowing too much about the technicalities of operating a camera. Despite being straightforward, taking photos is a satisfying activity.On the other hand, difficult hobbies can sometimes be more exciting. If an activity is more challenging, we might feel a greater sense of satisfaction when we manage to do it successfully. For example, film editing is a hobby that requires a high level of knowledge and expertise. In my case, it took me around two years before I became competent at this activity, but now I enjoy it much more than I did when I started. I believe that many hobbies give us more pleasure when we reach a higher level of performance because the results are better and the feeling of achievement is greater.In conclusion, simple hobbies can be fun and relaxing, but difficult hobbies can be equally pleasurable for different reasons.(266 words, band 9)Note:Notice that we used examples as the basis of both main paragraphs.15.Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because oftechnology.In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?It is true that new technologies have had an influence on communication between people. Technology has affected relationships in various ways, and in my opinion there are both positive and negative effects.Technology has had an impact on relationships in business, education and social life. Firstly, telephones and the Internet allow business people in different countries to interact without ever meeting each other. Secondly, services like Skype create new possibilities for relationships between students and teachers. For example, a student can now take video lessons with a teacher in a different city or country. Finally, many people use social networks, like Facebook, to make new friends and find people who share common interests, and they interact through their computers rather than face to face.On the one hand, these developments can be extremely positive. Cooperation between people in different countries was much more difficult when communication was limited to written letters or telegrams. Nowadays, interactions by email, phone or video are almost as good as face-to-face meetings, and many of us benefit from these interactions, either in work or social contexts. On the other hand, the availability of new communication technologies can also have the result of isolating people and discouraging real interaction. For example, many young people choose to make friends online rather than mixing with their peers in the real world, and these ‘virtual’ relationships are a poor substitute for real friendships.In conclusion, technology has certainly revolutionised communication between people, but not all of the outcomes of this revolution have been positive.(257 words, band 9)16.We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concernedwith our own communities and countries.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?Some people believe that we should not help people in other countries as long as there are problems in our own society. I disagree with this view because I believe that we should try to help as many people as possible.On the one hand, I accept that it is important to help our neighbours and fellow citizens. In most communities there are people who are impoverished or disadvantaged in some way. It is possible to find homeless people, for example, in even the wealthiest of cities, and for those who are。
IELTS writing 9
IELTS writingFlora SunT o show or to show off？文章优秀原则：•The best words.•The best sentences.•The best structures.雅思写作高分攻略Frequent errors in word choice•富国是否有义务帮助穷国？•It is a confirmed phenomenon that the diversities between the poor and rich countries are getting more obvious.•The whole world is shifting the angle of view to the improvements in health, education and trade in poor nations, which is doomed to accelerate the development of them.•In this case, some experts proclaim that the richer countries should take more responsibility for helping the poor nations.•As to me, I think it is a nice kind of charity but not a necessity to help those poor.More examples•Combine/ collaborate/ confer/ cooperate/ join/ link/ merge together•Repeat it again•Interact/ Compete with each other•Mutual respect for each other•Continue/ precede on•Report/ return back•Audible to the ear•Visible to the eye•Real fact•Individual person•Past history•Future plans•New innovation•Old antique•Final conclusion•Completely unanimous词汇选择的“五原则”•1. 选用formal words。
雅思写作改错练习（附答案）
雅思写作改错练习(附答案)为了帮助大家备考雅思作文，提高写作水平，下面小编给大家带来雅思写作改错练习(附答案)，希望大家喜欢!雅思写作改错练习(附答案)1Futurism, an early twentieth-century movement in art, rejected all traditions and attempts to glorify contemporary life by emphasizing the machine and motion.2 But, for a small group of students, professional training might be the way to go since well-developing skills, all other factors being equal, can be the difference between having a job or not.3 For a group of remaining in existence, a profit-making organization must, in the long run, produces something consumers consider useful or desirable.4 For a result of two or three centuries of scientific investigation we have come to believe that Nature is understandable in the sense that when we ask her questions by way of appropriate observations and experiments，she will answer truly and reward us with discoveries that endure.5 At the same time, young people should be encourage to communicate with their peers and develop their interpersonal skills, which may help them greatly to reduce dependence in their parents.6 When a new movement in art attains a certain fashion, it is advisable to find out what their advocates are aiming at, for, however farfetched and unreasonable their principles may seem today, it is possible that in years to come they may be regarded as normal.7 Numerous other commercial enterprises, from theaters tomagazine publishers, from gas and electric utilities to milk processors, bring better and more efficiently services to consumers through the use of computers.8 The American economic system is, organizing around a basically private-enterprise, market-oriented economy in that consumers largely determine what shall be produced by spending their money in the marketplace for those goods and services that they want most.9 Thus, in the American economic system it is the demand of individual consumers, coupled with the desire of businessmen to maximize profits and the desire of individuals to maximize their incomes, which together determine what shall be produced and how resources are used to produce it.10 The individual now has more information available than any generation, and the task of finding that one information relevant to his or her specific problem is complicated, time--consuming, and sometimes even overwhelming.参考答案1Futurism, an early twentieth-century movement in art, rejected all traditions and attempts to glorify contemporary life by emphasizing the machine and motion.错误: and并列连接两个谓语，应该是平行结构。
【推荐下载】雅思大写作9分范文点评整理-word范文 (2页)
【推荐下载】雅思大写作9分范文点评整理-word范文本文部分内容来自网络整理，本司不为其真实性负责，如有异议或侵权请及时联系，本司将立即删除！== 本文为word格式，下载后可方便编辑和修改！ ==雅思大写作9分范文点评整理对于雅思写作的复习，一些雅思大作文范文，例文还是很有必要自己观摩的，为此小编特收集整理了这篇雅思大作文九分例文点评，分享给大家，希望对大家有所帮助，文中观点仅供参考。
下面和小编一起来看看吧：雅思大作文九分例文第一段：Children who grow up in families which are short of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents . To what extent do you agree or disagree ? Some feel that the children of low income families are better equipped to deal with difficulties posed by the real world when they grow up and they also believe the privileged children of wealthy families are less fit to deal with these difficulties . The implications and veracity of this argument seem self - evident , but in fact require closer examination .雅思大作文九分例文点评：1+ 1 模式，最后 1 句为主题句。
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Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?
It is admitted that every adult in the world has been allured or misguided, at least once or twice, to spend a lot of money on something that beyond their economical ability or even unneeded. This is a common phenomenon and will not hurt much if everything is still under control. However, there are always some people who cross the limitation and put themselves in a dangers situation such as being involved in debt or credit crisis. In this essay, I will briefly analyze the possible reasons of this severe phenomenon and suggest a few solutions to tackle this problem.
The most important reason is obvious to everyone. Influenced by the pictures or videos showing the exaggerated rich life of certain milliniors on social websites, some people may lose their mind due to the jealousness and desire to own same life and same things. These people, who only attracted by the glorious face of the rich and ignore their talent and effort on work, are apt to fulfill their thirst by purchasing expensive things that they cannot afford, instead of working harder to pursue financial power. Besides, lacking confidence and under stress also contribute to the misbehaviour.
In order to address this problem, what is needed is education. This phenomenon is the result of improper self-consciousness, while a good education, starting form pregnancy all the way to adulthood and beyond, means raising people to be responsible. Moreover, a proper educated people would acquire sufficient skills to hunt a proper job and a variety of decent habits to better their life. Undoubtedly, people who enjoy a happy life would not tend to be allured by the other people’s lives.
To sum up, the either real or fictional rich life stories in the mass media do impact some people in a negative way. However, a proper and promptly education could handle the problem from the root.
总点评：
本篇文章得分: Good。