新成长的烦恼第一季08

JO: Honey, don't let that cloth get too close to that burner.

LIZZIE: I know, Mother.

JO: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know you're not a small child. ( phone ringing ) JO: Hello? Oh, hey, Debbie. Well, if you can't baby-sit tomorrow night you can't baby-sit. No, I'm not angry at you for calling me last minute. Okay. Bye-bye. ( sighs )

MA TT: Why is Mom mad at the meat?

JO: Oh, hi, honey. How was practice?

MA TT: Zachary Greenwald accidentally fell on a sprinkler head and had to get stitches. It was really cool.

SAM: And Matt came very close to actually kicking the ball. Didn't you, champ? MA TT: Oh, yeah.

SAM: (mouthing) "No way."

JO: Oh, Debbie Gotchalk called. She can't baby-sit tomorrow night.

SAM: Well, is there someone else we can get?

JO: Oh, oh, don't get that Olivia Skivin. She makes us listen to county-western non-stop. ( country music plays )

MA TT: Not Mrs. Harvey. She smells dead. ( organ plays )

JO: We're not going for Tammy up the street 'cause she makes more an hour than I do.

SAM: No way we're going with Mrs. Jaffey. Who lets a ten-year-old boy drink an entire quart of maple syrup?

MA TT: I liked her.

JO: Well, we've got to find somebody.

LIZZIE: Well, I was thinking... I was thinking, maybe I could...

JO/SAM: Baby-sit?

JO: Honey, we've talked about this. Y ou know, we just think...

SAM: Y ou're too young. No.

LIZZIE: When will I be old enough to trust? When I'm 50?

SAM: Maybe. We'll see. Where's Mrs. Doubtfire when you need her?

LIZZIE: Dad, no...

SAM Hmm... this isn't cheese, is it?

LIZZIE: It's candle wax.

MA TT: ( laughing )

----------- THEME SONG -----------

* If you believe * * We've got a picture-perfect plan * * We've got you fooled * * 'Cause we only do the best we can * * And sometimes we make it * * And sometimes we fake it * * But we get one step closer each and every day * * We'll figure it out on the way. * ( school bell rings )

MIRANDA: I think the perfect town would be 500 Hot Topic stores and a ten-story shopping mall.

LIZZIE: "Design a model community, including housing hospitals, schools, and police and fire department."

MIRANDA: "Police and fire department."

LIZZIE: "Housing, hospitals and schools."

MIRANDA: We'll call it Boringville, U.S.A. Where do they come up with these moronic assignments?

LIZZIE: The Moronic Assignment Study Guide. It's, like, this thick.

GORDO: Let me guess. That's how tall Tom Cruise is. Oh, Tom Cruise isn't short. He just has small bones. Okay, Gordo-- imagine you live in a boring suburb where all the houses look alike and everybody's predictable.

GORDO: I do live in a boring suburb where all the houses look alike and everyone is predictable. Thank you.

LIZZIE: Okay, but if you could pick any business you wanted on Main Street, what would it be?

GORDO: A bookstore containing the works of Navajo and Greek philosophers a coffeehouse where people only discussed music and politics a thousand-foot water slide ending in a swim-up counter where they serve free deep-fried pizza and Tyra Banks would be the Mayor. I've given this a lot of thought.

KA TE: Hey, Gordo, do you know where the nearest Software Shack is?

GORDO: Y eah. It's over on Collins Street.

KA TE: Would they have that software that designs cities and towns and stuff? GORDO: Y ou mean CyberTown Maker? They should.

LIZZIE: Okay. Kate, we're supposed to do this assignment ourselves.

KA TE: Whatever.

LIZZIE: Y ou're supposed to use your imagination not have some computer do it for