五人英语话剧——叶孤城与西门吹雪
英语搞笑话剧
M: Are you married? Y: What? Is there any connection between marriage and fight? M: Yes. It leads to the fight between you and me. Y: Oh , my god ? I don’t know why. I am puzzled M: My dear brother ,to tell the truth ,my wife order me to do all the housework .I can’t bear that. Y: Are you sure you are the real hero 西门吹雪? M: Certainly. Hero is not as perfect as common people think. Y: What’s your purpose? M: I don’t want to do the house work anymore .So I must win . Please help me ,my dear brother. Y : No, we are both heroes. Don’t injure our personality. But 、、、 M: I know I know. Here you are. Y: That’s a deal. I know how to do it. J:西门吹雪wins!
F：Hero , we have already reached my home .we have to go. Q: Ha! I got five billion RMB .I can buy the new LV now ! F: I am happy now .Thank goodness G: boss, you’re so wise. J：Thanks to this cover. I’ll get a letter A
2018-四人英语短剧word版本 (10页)
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第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow .Birds are dancing in the cold .A man is walking along the street ,step by step .Wind is coming in silence.Another mysterious man approaches .Y与X相遇．X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you !Y:Haha, Never mind baybay.X:Excuse me， who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name?Y:ha ha ,I won’t change my name! no matter what happens. I’m the most famous-------YeGucheng. Who are you?X:I am ximenchuixue.Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue?X:Yes,what is wrong?Y:I heard that you are the best MartialArts?X:Great, you know me !Y抱腿：Please, please?? Don’t kill me! Let me you go!X:No, I must kill you !Y:I don'''t want to be killed. There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!X:No way! Because we are fighting now!you know?Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don''''''''''''''''t force me!X:Pardon!(Y拿出一袋牛奶)X抢过牛奶:milk, verygood! I likedrinking it. How do you know that?Y:please drink it!X喝完牛奶:Thanks, ha,haY:Do you still want to kill me?X:Sure, must! Milk ismilk.Y(恼怒+冷酷):Verygood! verygood! I hope you will not forget what you said!?X:I’m sure Iwon’t!Y:I must give you a lesson!If I don''''''''''''''''t beat your this time, you’llneverbehaveproperly!3-2-1-0!X捂着肚子，蹲下：Oach,Oach !Y大笑：HaHa??X可怜状: help! help! Whereisthewashroom?Y:What ?X:Toliet?Y:What ?X:The “WC”?Y:Oh,Isee ,goalongthisstreetandturightwhenyouseeacorssingroad!X:Thanks,byeb ye.Y掏出纸屑吹:Thisisgenuirnesnow!H:Stop!Protectingtheenvironmentisabasicobligation!Y:Whoareyou?H:Hua---man----lou! Haveyouseenximenchuixue?Y:Yes, hewasbeatenbymeandisin“WC” now,ha??H惊讶:Nowyouarethebestintheworld!Y:Youareright!H:Teriffic!youaretheonemykinglookingfor!doyouwantjoininus?Y:Yes,It’sverygood.H:Ok, followme, Let’sgotoseemyking!Y:Ok,Let’s go!第二幕：无间道H:Mydearest ! letmeintroduce yeguchengtoyou! （指Y） thisisyegucheng.K:sitdownplese, yegucheng.H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Doyouwanttofollowmykingnomatterwhathappenssuchascold headache,sairand aids?Y: Yes,Ido.K: Huamanlou, come . puttheringonhisfinger!（音乐停）X唱着上:Onlyyou??(看到戒子) thisringshouldbemine!K:Butwhoareyou? whyshoulditbelongyou?Y急切: king! dearking!Imustgonow,mybrotherislookingforme!huoxi(维语再见)K:huoxi? Whatdoesthatmean? ItisnotEnglish, isn’t it ?Y:How clever??X冷酷:yegucheng! comehere!Iwanttotellyousometh(来自:WwW. : 四人英语短剧 )ing!Y抱X的腿:oldbrother ! Forgiveme!X:Forgiveme? Why?。
5人搞笑英语话剧剧本(英语学习).doc
5人搞笑英语话剧剧本（英语学习）5人搞笑英语话剧剧本Today’s Yang bailao and Huang Shiren ———编剧：方彦龙Character:：杨白劳Y, 喜儿X，王大春（喜儿男朋友）D，王大婶（王大春的母亲）W, 穆仁智（黄的管家）M，黄世仁HPart 1:In 杨白劳’home旁白：(“喜洋洋”背景音乐起)---New Year’s Eve,Xi’er is talking with her boyfriend on the phone, suddenly ,doorbell sounded.（叮咚！叮咚……）喜: Oh! ok! Someone is knock at the door! So I have to hung up!Bye!（开门）杨: 喜儿! 喜儿! What’s this喜: Oh! computer!(高兴地看笔记本)That’s a Laptop!杨: Ha ha! Today I’m able to buy a computer! Next year, I will plan to buy a car!喜: Really Buys a carGreat!杨: Ok, now we will go out ,are you ready喜: Ha ha,I’m ready ok and waiting for you to come back!（门铃再次响起）Oh,I think there must be Aunt Wang and Dacun coming.(开门,)王婶, 大春, 杨, 喜(四人齐声贺道)Happy New Year!hah(喜儿和大春去一边嘻嘻哈哈，窃窃私语不知所言)王婶:（走到杨白劳跟前）Mr Yang,I heard Dachun said, going to jump the disco dancing after dinner.Right杨:Right,What do you think王婶:I’m gald to,oh,are you prepared to go out杨: Sure!.王婶: Ok,go(问杨白劳)杨: Let’s go,(朝喜儿他俩那边喊)Xi’er,Dachun,go!(四人出门下)Part 2: In Huang Shiren’home黄: (黄世仁上台，气势汹汹地说)Hello,everyone!Do you know Huang ShirenTt’s me! Ha ha……But today is not yestady!You see Mu Renzhi coming!穆:（穆仁智走上来）Mr Huang , give me a litte,ok黄: Not! I wouldn’t give you,because I haven’t money!(不耐烦的样子)穆: New Year coming,My wages, a year--（哀求着）黄: Really does not have!穆:（拉着黄的手说）You are so kind in my eyes,can you give me litte money,ok黄: No way,what’s moreYang Bailao has not return the money to me, what can I do for you(无奈的样子)穆: You might ask for him!黄:Asking himI think he couldn’t give me!穆:Why He has contracted the farm, and made many money!黄:I know! But,he——穆:(打断黄的话)Tries!Ok黄: (想了想)Ok! You go together with me!穆: Let’s go! (两人出门下)Part 3: In enlightens the hall旁白: Yang Bailao, Xi’er, Dachun and Aunt Wang finished eating dinner and tojump the disco dancing.(迪斯科音乐起，四人在舞台上狂欢着)（一会儿，杨的电话响了,他走到前台接电话）杨:This is Yang Bailao, please speaking! ... oh... oh!--王婶:（王大婶看见，向杨走过来）Who’s that杨:Huang Shiren, he said he coming here immediately.喜：(停止跳舞，朝这边问)Huang Shiren Is all right（杨白老点头示对）大春: Nothing! We would take them away if they appeared!杨, 喜, D, W: Ha ha (四人继续跳舞)（黄世仁和穆仁智一前一后的东张西望地从下面走上台前）黄: Oh! Everyone，Happy New Year!（大家看了看，没人理睬）杨:（杨朝黄走了过去）The same to you!(音乐停，其他人也走了过来)黄: (和杨握手)Recently alright杨: Fina, but if you ask the money that’s wrong!（自己先坐下，示意让黄世仁坐，这时大春用脚把凳子往后一勾了下，黄坐到地上了，尴尬的看看大家）大春:Oh, I resemble see to have the dirty thing, but not,sits down!黄: (朝杨白老问)Who is this（穆仁智扶黄起来）杨:He is Wang Dachun,Xi’er’s boyfriend.黄:(打量大春说)Are you Xi’er’s boyfriend大春:Yes! (喊道)Is not my that is you黄:No,no!you!(胆怯的坐下)杨:What’s the mater黄:I’m sorry, but, today is the last of the year!en—Debt is--- 杨:(打断黄的话) Does not have!黄: I know you are good man, give a litte,ok(乞求的样子) 杨: No matter what you said to,nothing!黄（抱住杨白老的腿哀求到）Mr Yang ,a litte,just a litte…… 杨: No money,only a life have!黄: just a litte……杨:(很无情地说) No money,only a life have!黄: （无助地向四处环顾）En----大春: (不耐烦地说)You have not heard Does not have!黄:（朝喜儿望去）Miss, you help us!help us !ok(哀求着)王婶:（和喜儿站一块的王大婶说）What you want to do大春:Boils!Go out!（语气非常强烈）( 杨白劳推开黄,喜儿，王大春，王大婶赶黄世仁和穆仁智走)穆:（拉着杨白老的手求到）Do not expel me go, I want to leave,from now, I do for you ,I cound drive---杨: (排了排穆仁智)Ha ha, nice!ok! (穆仁智和所有的人都赶黄世仁出门)黄:（冲穆仁智喊道)Mu Renzhi! Mu Renzhi!Do you know you is my housekeep穆:No!Go out!(全部下)5人搞笑英语话剧剧本。
【5人英语短剧】The Frog Prince
The Frog PrinceSummary:The popular fairy tale that is well knowTransformed into a skit of our very ownThe frog, the prince, the golden ballWe are presenting to you allBy a witch, put under a spellAndre searches, a way out of hellAfter hopping a long, long wayUnkown dangers, ahead they layAt last, with Lily by his sideHis hope for the princess has all diedWhen he stopped and turned aroundHis true love was finally foundAnd so we finish in everyone's laughterThe story that ended happily ever afterScene oneNarrator:Once upon a time, in a faraway land, Princess Tatiana was promisedto Prince Andre, son of the great and mighty king, Deconis. Thefestive mood of the engagement arouses in the kingdom. Faraway,beyond all the celebrating, alone in her tower, Poinsetta, the witch,was watching, her eyes brewing with anger and hatred.Poinsetta:Mine, mine, mine! Andre should be mine! How could he marryTatiana? How can I let him marry Tatiana?(Poinsetta flounces around in rage.)(Andre is standing before a mirror made of aluminum foil.) Andre:Magic mirror, I will marry Tatiana in a week, how beautiful she is!The brightness of her eyes shine like candles in the dark night! mesoftness of her skin feels of the finest silk! She leaves even thegoddesses in bitter envy. Magic mirror, show me my dear princess!(Poinsetta bursts out from the other side of the mirror, screeching) Poinsetta:I'm he-ere!(Leaps into Andre's lap)Poinsetta:Tell me honey, tell me that you will not marry that wretched princess!Tell me that you love me and me only! I have waited and waited foryour love! Now give me a big kiss!(Poinsettia leans over to Andre, puckering her lips.)Narrator:Scared to death Andre stands frozen in terror, his legs trembling, andfalls to the ground.(Actions follow narrator)Poinsetta:Ungrateful creature! I have offered my love, look upon you as my man, yet, you despise me as if I have asked for your life, look at me asif you have just seen a dead frog! Well well well, we'll see who is thefrog around here! Abracadabra!(She waves her hands around, and in a poof of smoke, Andre turns in to a green frog.After the smoke clears,)Andre:RibbitPoinsetta:You can turn yourself back to a prince when your princess Tatiana kisses you! Now my dear prince, we'll see how you find your belovedprincess, you frog prince! Hee hee hee!(She cackles in a witch-like manner and flounces oft)Andre:Nobody knows the trouble I've seen, nobody knows my sorrow.Nobody knows the trouble I've seen, glory hallelujah! I better gosearch for Tatiana, to break this evil spell! I must stop pitying myself!(Andre scrambles away)Scene twoNarrator:Several weeks later; after traveling high and low, through barren deserts, though endless seas, Andre came upon a big rock in a darkforest. Exhausted and dehydrated, Andre fell upon the big rock,unconscious.(The she frog, Lily, pokes her head out, looks at Andre, and quickly pulls her head in. She pokes her head out from the other side, and slowly hops toward Andre, circles him twice, and pokes him.Andre lets out a tremble as Lily leaps back in surprise.) Lily:Its alive!(Lily gets a bucket of water and dumps it over Andre. Andre coughs and sputters.)Andre:How dare anyone pour water on me!(He Sits up and looks around.)Andre:Where... where am I? And who are you?Lily:Why you are in the land of princess Tatiana, and I live here! I am Lily.And you are....?(Andre stands up, tall and proud, slaps his chest)Andre:I am prince Andre, son of the great and mighty king, Deconis.(Lily looks at him in disbelief.)Lily:I can see, you're not a prince, you're only a frog!Andre:Oh yes I am, I am a prince, I am prince Andre!Lily:No, you're not.Andre:Yes, I am.Lily:No, you're not.Andre:Yes, I am.Lily:No, you're not.Andre:Yes, I am. Yes, I am!Both:Hmph!(They stamp their feet at the same time and turn their backs to each other. After a while,Lily turns back)Lily:So tell me prince, what are you doing here?Andre:I am here to find my bride, princess Tatiana.Lily:..... you're traveling to the castle. Allow me to go ;with you.(Lily hops beside Andre, and he pushes her away.)Andre:No, please get out of my way, you are very annoying!(Lily Sits down and looks sad and lost)Lily:Nobody likes me, everybody hates me; guess I'll go eat worms...(Lily pauses and glances hopefully at Andre, who turns back, impatiently)Andre:Oh, fine! Follow me if you must!(They hop on)Scene threeNarrator:Andre continues his journey to find Princess Tatiana, this time with Lily the frog beside him. Several days later, with the help of Lily.Andre passes through the dark forest, unhurt, and come upon a lake.The cool, clear water looked so inviting, that Andre and Lily decidedto take a rest beside the lake. A vague shape of the castle is in thedistance.Andre:Is that the castle?Lily:Yes.Andre:Yes! I'm saved! (Turns and faces direction of castle) Tatiana! Free me from this spell!(Golden ball flies in, and hits Andre, knocking him unconscious.)Lily:ANDRE!(Lily tries to wake Andre, but fails. Tatiana walks in.)(Lily tries to pull Andre away when she sees Tatiana, but can not. She then runs behindthe book)Tatiana:Ah! My golden ball is here. (Sees Andre lying on floor.) EWWW!What is this? (Pokes at Andre) A frog? Well, I could use someamusements.(Tatiana walks off)(Lily comes out from hiding place)Lily:That must be Princess Tatiana, the reason for this adventure and cause for all this trouble. However, I do not think that the princess willbelieve his story. I must go save him before she turns him into frogsoup!(Lily walks (leaps?) off stage.)Scene fourNarrator:Prince Andre has finally found his princess, or rather, she has found him. Princess Tatiana, having caught a frog, leads him back to herchambers.(Andre comes back onto stage with a rope tied around his neck, Tatiana holds the otherend of the rope.)(Tatiana ties the rope around a peg. Andre sits up.)Andre:(Covering head with hand.) 0, that hurts. (Looks around and spots Tatiana.) Tatiana? Is that you?Tatiana:Ah, so the frog knows my name.Andre:Tatiana? Do you not recognize me? I am Andre!Tatiana:Andre? I may have not seen him for a long time, but I know he does not look like this.Andre:Really, Tatiana! I am really Andre! That witch Poinsettia turned me into a frog.Tatiana:Poinsettia?Andre:Yes! Only your kiss could turn me back human.Tatiana:Kiss YOU? Over my dead body.Andre:Please! Tatiana! Only your kiss could turn me back!Tatiana:(Semi-turns and talks to audience) Ha! I brought this frog back forsome amusements, but look what IT has said. First, he tells me he isAndre, and then he tells me to KISS him. Am I so foolish to believe insuch a lie? No, I will never touch such a filthy creature. (Turns back toAndre) I have planned to keep you as a pet, but your insulting wordswill now cost you your life.(Tatiana walks off)Andre:Why? Why does she not believe in me?(Lily hops in)Lily:I did not think she will.Andre:How could she be so...Lily:Leave that later! Come on, we better go! Andre: But I can't, I'm tied up.Lily:Ok, let me see.(Lily starts untieing the rope. Tatiana walks in, knife in hand.)(Andre and Lily freezes.)Tatiana:Found yourself a friend, haven't you? Now I can have a BIG bowl of soup!(Tatiana raises knife and advances toward Lily. Lily jumps away just in time.) Andre:Lily! Run before she catches you!Lily:Then what about you?Andre:You must not sacrifice your life for someone as worthless as me! Now GO! Lily: No, Andre! I will not leave without you!Tatiana:Neither of you are leaving!(Lily picks up rope when Tatiana strikes. Lily holds the rope up so Tatiana hits the rope.)(The rope snaps.)Lily:Andre! GO!(Andre runs off one direction, Lily runs off the other.)Tatiana:NO!(Tatiana looks around, as if deciding which one to chase. Then she runs offstage,tripping in the process.)Tatiana:AUGH!Scene fiveNarrator:Unable to catch the frogs alone, Princess Tatiana calls her servants tolook for them. The whole castle lights up (?) with activity as peopletry to find the two frogs. However, thanks to Lily's intelligence andloyalty, the two frogs manage to escape from the castle, unseen.(Andre and Lily run on stage, panting.)(Lily starts walking. Andre stays motionless)Lily:Andre?Andre:Lily.. .I have not yet expressed my gratitude for which I am eternally grateful.Lily:Huh?Andre:I mean thank you for saving my life.(Lily blushes.)Lily:(Suddenly Stops) Hey, Andre. Are you REALL Y a prince?Andre:Only to my princess.Lily:Have... you found her?(Andre putt's his arms around Lily.)Andre:It took me several weeks and a long journey, to realize that the princess I was looking for was beside me all the time.(Andre and Lily walk oft)Narrator:And so, they lived happily ever after.------------------。
最新 搞笑英语剧《叶花K西》-精品
搞笑英语剧《叶花K西》《叶花k西》人物介绍：西门吹雪（ｘ），叶孤城（ｙ），ｋing(k).花满楼（ｈ）道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠旁白：aquietvillageiscoveredwithwhitesnow.birdsaredancinginthecold.amaniswalkingalongthestreet,stepbystep.windiscominginsilence.anothermysteriousmanapproaches.y与x相遇．x：oh,iamsorrytoknockyou!y:haha,nevermindbaybay.x:excuseme，whoareyouonearth? couldyoutellmeyourname?y:haha,iwon’tchangemyname! nomatterwhathappens.i’mthemostfamous-------yegucheng. whoareyou?x:iamximenchuixue.y惊讶:ar,ximenchuixue?x:yes,whatiswrong?y:iheardthatyouarethebestingmartialarts? x:great,youknowme!y抱腿：please,please……don’tkillme!letmeyougo!x:no,imustkillyou!y:idon''''''''''''''''twanttobekilled.thereare aeighty-year-oldmotheandathree-yearold sontobelookedafterbyme!x:noway!becausewearefightingnow!youknow?y突然站起冷冷的说：don''''''''''''''''t forceme!x:pardon!(y拿出一袋牛奶)x抢过牛奶:milk,verygood!ilikedrinkingit.howdoyouknowthat?y:pleasedrinkit!x喝完牛奶:thanks,ha,hay:doyoustillwanttokillme?x:sure,must!milkismilk.y(恼怒+冷酷):verygood!verygood!ihopeyouwillnotforgetwhatyousaid!?x:i’msureiwon’t!y:imustgiveyoualesson!ifidon''''''''''''''''tbeatyourthistime, you’llneverbehaveproperly!3-2-1-0!x捂着肚子，蹲下：oach,oach!y大笑：haha……x可怜状:help!help!whereisthewashroom?y:what?x:toliet?y:what?x:the“wc”?y:oh,isee,goalongthisstreetandturnrightwhenyouseeacorssingroad!x:thanks,byebye.y掏出纸屑吹:thisisgenuirnesnow!h:stop!protectingtheenvironmentisabasicobligation!y:whoareyou?h:hua---man----lou! haveyouseenximenchuixue?y:yes,hewasbeatenbymeandisin“wc”now,ha……h惊讶:nowyouarethebestintheworld!y:youareright!h:teriffic!youaretheonemykinglookingfor! doyouwantjoininus?y:yes,it’sverygood.h:ok,followme,let’sgotoseemyking!y:ok,let’sgo!第二幕：无间道h:mydearest!letmeintroduceyeguchengtoyou!（指y）thisisyegucheng.k:sitdownplese,。
搞笑5人英语剧本之西门吹雪
搞笑5人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》演员表: 西门吹雪叶孤城花满楼 king 旁白道具: 牛奶两袋, 匕首一把, 戒子一枚, 纸屑若干。
第一幕: 决战紫荆城之颠旁白: A quiet village is covered with white snow .Birds are dancing in the cold .A man is walking along the street ,step by step .Wind is coming in silence.Another mysterious man approaches .Y与X相遇.X: Oh ,I am sorry to knock you !Y.H.ha.Neve.min.baybay.?Y.H.ha..won’.n.matte.wha.happens.I’.th.mos.f amous-------YeGucheng.Wh.ar.you?X:.a.Ximenchuixue.Y惊讶:Ar.ximenchuixue?X:Yes.wha.i.wrong?Y:.hear.tha.yo.ar.th.bestin.MartialArts?X:Great.yo.kno.m.!Y抱腿: Please.please….Don’.kil.me.le.m.yo.go!X.No..mus.kil.yo.!Y..don'.wan.t.b.killed.Ther.ar.a.eighty-year-ol.mothe.an..t hree-yea.ol.so.t.b.looke.afte.b.me!X.Noway.Becaus.w.ar.fightin.now.yo.know?Y突然站起冷冷的说: Don'.forc.me!X.Pardon!(Y拿出一袋牛奶)X抢过牛奶:milk.ver.good..lik.drinkin.it.ho.d.yo.kno.that? Y.Pleas.drin.it!X喝完牛奶:Thanks.ha,haY.D.yo.stil.wan.t.kil.me?k.Y(恼怒+冷酷):Ver.good.Ver.good..hop.yo.wil.no.forge.wha.yo.said!? X.I’.sur..won’t!Y:.mus.giv.yo..lesson.I..don'.bea.yo.thi.time.you’l.neve.b.hav.properly.3-2-1-0!..X捂着肚子, 蹲下: Oach,Oac.! Y大笑: HaHa……X可怜状.help.help.Wher.i.th.washroom?Y:Wha.?X:Toliet?Y:Wha.?X:Th.“WC”?Y:Oh,.se.,g.alon.thi.stree.an.tur.righ.whe.yo.se..corssin.r oad!X:Thanks,byebye.Y掏出纸屑吹:Thi.i.genuin.snow!H:Stop!Protectin.th.environmen.i..basi.obligation!Y:Wh.areyou?H:Hua---man----lou.Hav.yo.see.ximenchuixue?Y:Yes.h.wa.beate.b.mean.i.in“WC.now,ha……H惊讶:No.yo.ar.th.bes.i.th.world!Y:Yo.ar.right!H:Teriffic!? Y:Yes,It’.ver.good.H:Ok.follo.me.Let’.g.t.se.m.king!Y:Ok,Let’.go!第二幕: 无间道H:M.deares..le.m.introduc.Yeguchen.t.you.（指Y.thi.i.Yegucheng.K:si.dow.plese.yegucheng.H走到Y前, 《婚礼进行曲》起, H神甫状:Yegucheng.D.yo.wan.t.follo.m.kin.n.matte.wha.happen.suc.a.col.headache,sai.an.aids?Y.Yes,Ido...pu.th.rin.o.hi.finger!（音乐停）X唱着上:Onlyyou……(看到戒子.thi.rin.shoul.b.mine!K:Bu.wh.ar.you.Wh.shoul.i.belon.you?Y急切.king.Dea.king!.mus.g.now,m.brothe.i.lookin.fo.me.huoxi(维语再见)K:huoxi.Wha.doe.tha.mean.I.i.no.English.isn’.i.?Y:Ho.clever……X冷酷:.here!Iwan.t.tel.yo.something!Y抱X的腿:oldbrothe..Forgiv.me!X:Forgiveme.Why?Y.Onc.ther.wa..chanc.befor.me..los.it.I.th.go.giv.m.a.othe. chance.I’l.tel.you,.lov.you,I.ther.mus.b..limite.period,.hop.i.i.tho usan.year!X:Yo.shal.chea.me!al.yo.di.ar.wrong!dy’s “WC”!Y:dy’.W..I.I...thin.tha.yo.lik.wha..like.(Ｙ又拿出一袋牛奶)X.m-i-l-k?haha.ayixidailu!(我爱你的意思)K.ayixidailu?What’.th.meaning.Wh..als.can’.understan.you? X:Yo.ar.stupid.I.means“.lov.you”.K:Don’.sa.tha.yo.lov.me.I’l.kil.yo.fo.yo.sayin.dirt.wor.t.me!X:What.(侧耳装着听不到.You---kill----me?e…(Ｘ抓住K)K:Fuc.you..mus.kil.you!X:Ho.ca.yo.kil.me.haha……Y:Le.m.hav..try.3-2-1-0(X捂着肚子，蹲下)K:than.yo.ver.much,yo.sav.me.Now.I’l.giv.yo.th.ticke.fo.America.t.le.yo.hav..vacation.Y:That’.good.Bu.ther.i.on.mor.thing.Ca.yo.giv.m..M.?.wan.t .g.America.wit.her.K:o.couse.Yo.ar.th.on.wh.ha.th.simila.tast.wit.me.Hahaha……Y:Hahaha-----H:Where’.som.where?K:What?Y:dy’s“WC”?X:Yes,I……I….do.H顶着摇头：X,no.no.yo.can’dy’.“WC”.Tha.i.no.th.plac.wher.yo.ca.g.int..becaus.yo.ar...yo .ar.th.bes.ma.o.Chines.kongfu!X.wha.i.I’.th.bes.i.th.word.Wh..tr.m.bes.t.liv.bu.I’.stil...s.miserabl..whe.ca..ge.m.freedom.Mus.b.th.dea.da..!K.yo.ar.right.On.wil.no.b.cleve.unti.th.da.h.die.I.tha.cas. ,wh.wil.yo.di.i.suc..ba.sorro.wa.!dy’.W..the.di fortabll..g.ahea.!H.yo..stupi..ba.behavio..g.awa.!K.wh..wh.d.yo.hel.hi..wh.acturall.ar.yo.?H.m.rea.nam.i.LuXiaofeng------th.wif.o...I’..spy.K惊讶.!you---you---Yo.ar.LuXiaofen..X’wif.?Y..hav.alread.recognize.yo...tricke..d.yo.know.yo.ar.th.fir s.perso.wh.cheate.m..becaus.o.yo.,.deeid.neve.believ.anyon. els.,includin.mysel..yo.hav.destroye.m.lookin.fo.yo.fo.man. year.,jus.fo.toda..(轻声说)Ｘwil.di.,g.an.se.hi.,pleas..H扑倒在Ｘ的身边：Ｘ,do’.di.,yo.shoul.b.aliv.,ther.ar.muc.hop.i.th.fatur.an. tomorro.i..goo.beginnin.!K:wha..movin.stor.!.wa.impresse.!Y:lif.i..progres.,bu.i.i.depresse.tha.i.ca.no.resum.!H.lif.i..progres.,an.i.i.deligh.tha.i.needn’.resum.!(H忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，Ｋ吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起) Y痛苦状:don’.leav.m.her..yo.kno..lov.yo.an..hav.nothin.excep.yo .no.,pleas.no.abando.m...realiz.tha.I’.wron..hel.me,.inten.t.b.bac.,hel.m.,.ke.yo.,be.you------hel.m..I’l.neve.d.tha.agai.!(Y死，音乐停)（X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起）H...o..n.,yo.can’.di.,w.wil.g.hom.togethe..X:g.hom..?H:s.secon.t.live,yo.sh oul.b.aliv.,no.onl.fo.m..bu.fo.ou.lov.!X:D.yo.wan.m.liv..lif.i.suc..sorro.wa..o..o...promis..wil.b ealiv.fo.yo..bu.!yo.know..hav.no.tim.lef.,bu.yo.hav.,promis .tha.yo.wil.b.happ.everyda.!Yo.mus.d.m.thi.honor...promis.m .yo.wil.survive...tha.yo.wil.neve.giv.up...n.matte.wha.happ ens...n.matte.ho.hopeless...promis.m.no.,an.neve.le.g.o.tha .promise.H..promis..X:Neve.le.g..H:.promis...wil.neve.le.g.,X.I'l.neve.le.go.(X死)H:b.alive.yea..b.aliv..b.aliv.withou..hendanc.!lif.ca.b.cha nc.lik.tim.ca.g.t.bac..ther.i.beautifu.sno.bu.i.sprin..s.li .fro.th.beginnin..（H自刎，艰难的爬到X身边死.音乐停。
5人搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》搞笑5人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》演员表：西门吹雪叶孤城花满楼king旁白道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow .Birds are dancing in the cold .A man is walking along the street ,step by step .Wind is coming in silence.Another mysterious man approaches .Y与X相遇．X：Oh ,I am sorry to knock you !Y: Ha-ha, Never mind bay-bay.X: Excuse me， who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name?Y: Ha-Ha ,I won’t change my name! no matter what happens. I’m the most famous-------Ye Gu cheng. Who are you?X: I am Ximenchuixue.Y惊讶: Ar, ximenchui xue?X: Yes, what is wrong?Y: I heard that you are the besting Martial Arts?X: Great, you know me !Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me you go!X: No, I must kill you !Y: I don't want to be killed. There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!X: No way! Because we are fighting now! you know?Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don ''''''''''''''''t force me!X: Pardon!(Y拿出一袋牛奶)X抢过牛奶:milk, very good! I like drinking it. How do you know that?Y: please drink it!X喝完牛奶:Thanks, ha-haY: Do you still want to kill me?X: Sure, must! Milk is milk.Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good! Very good! I hope you will not forget what you said!?X: I’m sure I won’t!Y: I must give you a lesson! If I don''''''''''''''''t beat your this time, you’llneverbehaveproperly!3-2-1-0!X捂着肚子，蹲下： Oach -Oach !Y大笑：Ha-Ha……X可怜状: help! Help! Where is the wash room?Y: What ?X: Toilet?Y: What ?X: The “WC”?Y: Oh, I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a crossing road!X: Thanks, bye-bye.Y掏出纸屑吹:This is genuine snow!H: Stop! Protecting the environment is a basic obligation!Y: Who are you?H: Hua---man----lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?Y: Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC” now,ha……H惊讶:Now you are the best in the world !Y: You are right !H : Teriffic !you are the one my king looking for ! do you want join in us ?Y: Yes ,It’s very good .H: Ok , follow me , Let’s go to see my king !Y: Ok ,Let’s go!第二幕：无间道H: My dearest ! let me introduce yegucheng to you ! （指Y） this is yegucheng .K: sit down please , yegucheng.H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache , sear and aids?Y: Yes , I do .K: Huamanlou, come . put the ring on his finger!（音乐停）X唱着上:Only you……(看到戒子) this ring should be mine!K: But who are you ? Why should it belong you?Y急切: king! Debarking !I must go now ,my brother is looking for me ! huo xi(维语再见)K: huo xi? What does that mean? It is not English, isn’t it ?Y: How clever……X冷酷:yegucheng! Come here !I want to tell you something!Y抱X的腿:old brother ! Forgive me!X: Forgive me? Why?Y: Once there was a change before me ,I lost it. If the god give me another chance, I’ll tell you “I love you”,If there must be a limited period ,I hope it is a thousand years!X: You shall cheat me !all you did are wrong ! how can you tell the lady’s“WC”!Y:I like going lady’s WC .I……I……I think that you like what I like.(Ｙ又拿出一袋牛奶)X: m-i-l-k ? haha , a yi xi da lu!(我爱你的意思)K: a yi xi da lu? What’s the meaning? Why I also can’t understand you?X: You are stupid! It means “I love you”.K: Don’t say that “you love me”. I’ll kill you for you saying dirty words to me!X: What? (侧耳装着听不到) You---kill----me ?come, come…(Ｘ上去抓住K)K: Fuck you. I must kill you!X: How can you kill me? haha……Y: Let me have a try! 3-2-1-0(X捂着肚子，蹲下)K: thank you very much, you save me . Now, I’ll give you the ticket for American to let youhave a vacation.Y: That’s good. But there is one more thing. Can you give me a MM ?I want to go American with her.K: of course .You are the one who has the similar taste with me! Hahaha…Y: Hahaha-----H: Where’s somewhere?K: What?Y: Do you want to go to the lady’s“WC”?X: Yes, I……I…… do.H顶着摇头：X, no , no， you can’t go to Lady’s “WC”. That is not the place where you can go into because you are X ! you are the best man of Chinese Kongfu !X: what if I’m the best in the world? !why I try my best to live but I’m still so miserable ? when can I get my freedom? Must be the dead day ? !K: you are right. One will not be clever until the day he die. In that case ,why will you die in such a bad sorrow way !go into the Lady’s WC , then die , comfortably ! go ahead !H: you , stupid , bad behavior ! go away !K; why ? why do you help him ! who actually are you ?H: my real name is LuXiaofeng------the wife of X .I’m a spy.K惊讶: !you---you---You are LuXiaofeng ? X’s wife ?Y: I have already recognized you . do you know, you are the first person who cheated me ! because of you ,I decide not to believe anyoneelse ,including myself .you have destroyed my looking for you for many years ,just for today ! (轻声说)Ｘ will die ,go and see him ,please .H扑倒在Ｘ的身边：Ｘ, do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future and tomorrow is a good beginning !K: what a moving story !I was impressed !Y: life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !H: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it needn’t resume !(H忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，Ｋ吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起)Y痛苦状: don’t leave me here , you know I love you and I have nothing except you now ,please not abandon me !realize that I’m wrong .help me,I intend to be back ,help me ,beg you------help me . I’ll never do that again !(Y死，音乐停)（X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起）H: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together .X: go home ! ?H: Tomorrow is another day ! even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our love !X: do you want me live a life in such a sorrow way ? ok , ok , I promise I will believe for you .but !you know, I don’t have time left ,but you have ,promise that you will be happy everyday !You must do me this favor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now ,and never let go of that promise.H: I promise .X: Never let go .H: I promise . I will never let go ,X.I ''''''''ll never let go.(X死)H: believe !yeah , believe ! believe without hesitation !（H自刎，艰难的爬到X身边死.音乐停。
SNOWWHITE少儿英语话剧剧本
SNOWWHITE少儿英语话剧剧本篇一：小学英语童话剧剧本snow white(旁白版)Snow White角色：ActorsSW——白雪公主（1个）Q——王后（1个）M——魔镜（1个） D——小矮人（7个）（一）旁白：（伴着音乐）In a beautiful country, there lived a king and a queen. They had a life princess. The family lived a happy life. But before long, the queen died. The king married another woman. She was beautiful, but proud and arrogant. She couldn’t bear anyone being more beautiful than her. She had a magic mirror.（王后出场）Q：Magic Mirror on the wall. Who is the fairest one of all?M：Lips red as the rose. Hair black as ebony. Skin white as snow.Q：Snow White! Alas for her!旁白：The queen ordered her guard to kill Snow White secretly. The guard couldn’t hear to kill her, So heasked Snow White to run away as far as she can, and never let the queen find her. Snow White ran into the forest, she wandered aimlessly. Will she e to a small house.SW：Oh, it’s adorable! I like it here.（敲门，然后推开）Hello! May I e in?（回头让跟在身后的小动物们安静）Shh??（在小房子里到处看看）Oh, and from the look of this table, seven untidy little children! Why, they’ve never swept this room. I know! We’ll clean the house and surprise them. Then maybe they’ll let me stay.SW（指着小松鼠）：Now, you wash the dishes.（指着小兔子）：You tidy up the room.（指着小鸟）：You clean the fireplace.（开始扫除，配“嘻嘻唰唰”音乐）（打扫完毕，大家都累了，打着哈欠）SW：Oh, I’m a little sleepy myself. Oh, Oh??（公主打着哈欠，睡在了小矮人们的床上）（三）（伴着音乐，小矮人们唱着歌回家了）Dwarf5：“Heigh-ho, heigh-ho. It’s home from work we go??”Dwarf1：（走到床边，突然停下）Oh, No!（大家举起手中劳动工具准备打床上熟睡的公主）Dwarf2：（揭开铺盖）Oh, she’s mighty“purdy”.Dwarf3：She’s beautiful, just like a angle!（当大家都惊讶于公主的美丽时，公主醒来）SW：Oh, dear??（发现小矮人们）How do you do！I’m Snow White. Dwarf5：Snow White? The Princess!SW：Yes.旁白：Snow White told the seven dwarfs her story. The seven dwarfs invitedher to stay will them. In the daytime. They went out to work while Snow White did the homework at home. They lived happily.（四）Q：Magic Mirror on the wall. Who now is the fairest.M：Well, Snow White, fairest one of all.Q：snow White lies dead in the forest.M：Snow White still live, the fairest in the bed.Q：The blundering fool!（王后大发雷霆）旁白：The queen decided to get rid of the Snow White by herself. She made an red apple that was poisoned. Then she came to the seven dwarfs’ house.（五）（第二天，小矮人们要出去工作了）D1：Now, don’t forget, my dear, the, the old Queen’s a sly one full of witch craff. So beware of strangers.SW：Don’t worry. I’ll be all right. （拥抱小矮人）See you tonight.D1（非常开心）：Uh, uh, yes, we-well, uh, e on, men!（小矮人们愉快地工作去了公主站在家门口目送他们）（六）（白雪公主边唱歌边做草莓派，王后来到）Q：Mm-mm. Making pies? Pies made from apples like these.（王后拿出苹果递给公主）Like to try one? Hmm? Go on. Go on, have a bite.（动物们怕公主受到伤害，一起进攻王后，令王后摔倒在地，公主立刻出门赶走小动物）。
专英 决战紫禁之巅
The Duel between two Swordsmen SCENE 1 ：西门吹雪与叶孤城 SCENE 1 ：西门吹雪与叶孤城
The Duel between two Swordsmen SCENE 1 ：西门吹雪与叶孤城
决战紫禁之巅
The Duel between two Swordsmen
SCENE 1 ：西门吹雪与叶孤城
西门吹雪*
花满楼*静
叶孤城*代 PPT、旁白* 金
King* 影
Haha……SB！
SCENE 2 ：无间道
The Duel between two Swordsmenห้องสมุดไป่ตู้SCENE 1 ：西门吹雪与叶孤城 SCENE 1 ：西门吹雪与叶孤城
The Duel between two Swordsmen SCENE 1 ：西门吹雪与叶孤城
The Duel between two Swordsmen SCENE 1 ：西门吹雪与叶孤城 SCENE 1 ：西门吹雪与叶孤城
The Duel between two Swordsmen
The Duel between two Swordsmen
The Duel between two Swordsmen
The Duel between two Swordsmen
The Duel between two Swordsmen
The Duel between two Swordsmen SCENE 1 ：西门吹雪与叶孤城
Gay?
VS
THE END
西门吹雪与叶孤城
Y(恼怒+冷酷):Ok, very good! I hope you will not forget what you said!? X:I’m sure I won’t! Y: I must give you a lesson, you will be conceited and selfsatisfied! 3-2-1! X捂着肚子，蹲下：Oach,Oach ! Y大笑：HaHa…… X可怜状: Help! Help! Where is the washroom? Y: What? X: Toliet! Y: What? X: The “WC”? Y: Oh, I see, go along this street and turn right when you see a crossroad! X: Thanks, bye bye. Y掏出纸屑吹: This is genuine snow! H: Stop! Protecting the environment is a basic obligation!
旁白： Ximenchuixue finally completed his mission and became the NO.1 in the world.
Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me go! X: No, I must kill you! Y: I don't want to be killed. There are an eighty years old mother and a three years old son to be looked after by me! X: No way! If I kill you today, I could go back home and play the computer games all day long. (仰头憧憬状) What a wonderful life ! So, come on, let's fight! Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don't force me! Y拿出一袋牛奶 X抢过牛奶:Milk, very good! I liked drinking it. How do you know that? Y: Please drink it! X喝完牛奶: Thanks, haha……… Y: Do you still want to kill me? X: Of course!
四人英语短剧1
第一场:丑小鸭出世场景：夏天，绿树，青草，白栅栏。
丑小鸭躲在模拟的蛋壳内，鸭妈妈在蛋壳前面做孵蛋的样子，另外4只鸭蛋围住鸭妈妈，趴在地上成圆弧状。
音乐：（有鸟叫，知了叫等）及舞台布景组合出一幅恬静、温暖的乡村夏日风光图。
画外音：It is warm, A mother duck lies in the stook, waiting for the birth of her children.（太阳暖烘烘的，鸭妈妈卧在稻草堆里，等她的孩子们出世。
）鸭妈妈：Well, my babies, come out quickly please. I’m tired.（伸懒腰）哎，我的孩子们，你们怎么还不出世呀，可把妈妈累坏了！鸭妈妈抚摸着鸭蛋，突然，一只鸭蛋动了一下。
小鸭1站了起来，看了一下周围的世界说：小鸭1：Oh, what a beautiful world!“哦，多么美丽的世界啊！”接着，另外3只小鸭从蛋壳里逐渐在妈妈的抚摸中钻出来，东张西望，看到妈妈后，惊喜地跑过去，一起喊：Hi, mum! / Hi, Mummy!妈妈！妈妈！………小鸭4：（指着大蛋）Mum, what’s this ? Why not crack? 咦，妈妈，这是谁？还不出来呀？鸭妈妈：Don’t mention it, I spent too much time on it, but it still has no change.别提了，妈妈在他身上花的功夫最多，可他硬是不见一点动静。
（突然，发出一声特别刺耳的破裂声，蛋裂开，丑小鸭慢慢伸伸懒腰钻出来，大家蹲在地上抬头仔细看着那只小鸭，先是非常惊奇，然后惊叫，4只小鸭倒地，鸭妈妈也非常失望地看着丑小鸭。
）丑小鸭：Hi, friends! Nice to meet you!众小鸭惊异、交头接耳。
小鸭2：Wow, his feather is gray, it’s too rube!呀！他的毛是灰灰的，太土了。
西门吹雪与叶孤城解析
Y: Who are you? H:Huamanlou! Have you seen Ximenchuixue? Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in“WC” now, ha…… H惊讶:Now you are the best killer in the world! Y: Rright! H: Teriffic! You are the one my king looking for! Do you want join in us? Y: Yes, It’s very good! H: Ok, follow me, Let’s go to see my king! Y: Ok, Let’s go!
Y: Please drink it! X喝完牛奶: Thanks, haha……… Y: Do you still want to kill me?
X: Of course!
Y(恼怒+冷酷):Ok, very good! I hope you will not forget what you said!? X:I’m sure I won’t! Y: I must give you a lesson, you will be conceited and self-
英语搞笑话剧剧本
英语搞笑话剧剧本篇一：搞笑英语话剧剧本.1doc搞笑英语话剧剧本《荆珂刺秦王》旁白(Aside )/介绍（Introduction）：Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous sword搞笑英语话剧剧本《荆珂刺秦王》旁白(Aside )/介绍（Introduction）：Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman剑客and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众）I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状）Good idea! But who is the right candidate?阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me?荆轲Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意莫愁Come on!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。
心碎之叶孤城大战西门吹雪---6-7人英语剧本
心碎之叶孤城大战西门吹雪Billing（演员表）：XiMenchuixue，YeGucheng，HuaManlou，KingPanJinlian，Narratage，soldierNarratage：A quiet village is covered with white snow. Birds are dancing in the cold. A man is standing in the street. The wind is coming in silence. Another mysterious（神秘的）man approaches .Y与X相遇．YeGucheng：Oh , I am sorry to knock into（撞上）you !XiMenchuixue：Ha ha , Never mind, boy. What’s your name?YeGucheng：Ha ha , I won’t change my name, no matter what happens. I’m the most famous-------YeGucheng.Who are you?XiMenchuixue：I am XiMenchuixue.YeGucheng：Ah??? XiMenchuixue?XiMenchuixue：Yes, what’s wrong?YeGucheng：I heard that you are the best one in Chinese Kongfu.XiMenchuixue：Great, you know me !YeGucheng：But your wife is my first lover.XiMenchuixue：What???Y抱腿: Oh, Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me go!XiMenchuixue：No, I must kill you !YeGucheng：I don't want to be killed. There is an eighty-year-old mother and a three-year-old son to be looked after by me!XiMenchuixue：Noway! Because we are enemies now! You know?Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don't force me!XiMenchuixue：拔刀砍向Y(Y拿出一袋牛奶迎上去)X抢过牛奶: Milk, very good! I like drinking it. How do you know that?YeGucheng：Just drink it!X喝完牛奶: Thanks, ha ha.YeGucheng：Do you still want to kill me?XiMenchuixue：Sure! Milk is milk.Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very nice! I hope you w on’t forget what you said!?XiMenchuixue：I’m sure I won’t!YeGucheng：I must give you a lesson! If I don't beat you th is time, you’ll never behave properly!3-2-1-0!X捂着肚子，蹲下：Oach, Oach !Y大笑：HaHa……X可怜状: Help!Help! Where is the washroom?YeGucheng：What ?XiMenchuixue：Toliet?YeGucheng：What ?XiMenchuixue：The “WC”?YeGucheng：Oh, I see. go along this street to the end and turn left when you see a high building! You can’t miss it. XiMenchuixue：Thanks, bye bye.X与J相遇X跑过来J举牌：Ladies roomPanJinlian：You saw me!? You animal, monster, bullshit! (一边拉拉锁一边说)I kill you!XiMenchuixue：Oh, No! I am sorry honey, but you are so beautiful! What’s your name?PanJinlian：My first name is Jinlian, and my family name is Pan.XiMenchuixue：Oh, PanJinlian!??? So nice name. I love you. You have the most beautiful face, nose and little lips. Would you like to marry me?PanJinlian：Yes, I’d like to. But do you get married?XiMenchuixue：Of course, ah…not! What about you?PanJinlian：Um…neither am I. But do you have a ring to give me？XiMenchuixue：I will get one for you.PanJinlian：I love you. I will be right here waiting for you.Narratage：Then XiMenchuixue go to find a ring. Let us see what happens to YeGucheng at the same time. YeGucheng：You see?? It is really terrible for a person not being good at English.Y掏出纸屑吹:This is XiMenchuixue now!HuaManlou Stop!Protecting the environment is a basic obligation!YeGucheng：Who are you?HuaManlou：HuaManlou! Have you seen XiMenchuixue?YeGucheng：Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC” now,ha……HuaManlou惊讶: So, now, you are the best in the world!YeGucheng：Clever girl.HuaManlou You are the one my king looking for! Do you want to join us?YeGucheng：Yes, my pleasure.HuaManlou Ok, follow me. Let’s go to see my king!YeGucheng：Ok, Let’s go! My first lover in dreams.HuaManlou What?YeGucheng：Nothing.HuaManlou：My dear king ! Let me introduce YeGucheng to you! （指Y）This is YeGucheng.King：Sit down please, YeGucheng.H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，HuaManlou YeGucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache , rainstorm or Aids?YeGucheng：Yes, I do.King：Gucheng , come closely. 给叶孤城戴上戒指（音乐停）X唱着上: Only you……(看到戒指) this ring will be mine!King：But who are you? Why should it belong to you?Y急切: King! Dear king! I must go now, my mother asks me to go back home to have dinner. XiMenchuixue：I am XiMenchuixue. YeGucheng, come here! Give me the ring!!!YeGucheng：Here you are.(灰溜溜的过去)X转身准备离开King：Arrest him!XiMenchuixue：I will kill anyone who is in my way, no matter he is a human being or a Buddha（佛陀）. Soldier：I am the most handsome soldier in the world. My favorite is looking myself in the mirror. I am here. I am here! I am here! You can’t go, boy!???X拔刀捅个不停，S动作配合但不死X擦汗：I am too tired to kill you, but I will cut down your head.Soldier：Oh, God! Where is my head? Without a head, I will be very, very ugly. World without being handsome, I would rather die. Ah…King：Ah, XiMenchuixue is really rude. You see??? The handsome soldier’s brain was broken into pieces. Tell Youlai building not to cook tofu brain as breakfast any more.Narratage：Then, XiMenchuixue go to ladies room to meet his lover with the ring. But actually HuaManlou is XiMenchuixue’s wife. So… what will happen next?HuaManlou My dear husband, where are you going?XiMenchuixue：Something important! Don’t follow me.HuaManlou But the ring should be mine.(X找到了金莲, but H 也跟来了.)HuaManlou Oh, shit(捂眼). What are you doing? You little bitch, I will kill you. Nine Yin bones claw? PanJinlian：HaHaHa…! My son is Li Gang, I fear nothing(自信).Who the hell are you?HuaManlou I’m his wife !!!?!PanJinlian：You have a wife? You cheated me!XiMenchuixue：But you have a son, named Li Gang. My heart is broken(扭头退场，留下背影) PanJinlian：My heart is also broken(冲背影，也下场)HuaManlou（大喊）My heart is broken into pieces!!!(冲背影)Fuck your sisters.Narratage：At the same time, Ye Gucheng and the king are playing another legend story.YeGucheng：转身准备离开King：Gucheng!? Are you going to abandon me?YeGucheng：I will!King：Why ?YeGucheng：Because I’m not a gay.Once, there was a sincere love available for me , but I didn’t cherish. Now I regret to die! If the god would give me another chance, I would have said to that girl “I love you” .If there must be a limit for it , I hope it was one night. But now ,my heart is broken(退场)King：Oh ,no. My heart is broken too. (退场)Narratage：Every one is a fraud. Love is not a thing that you can buy whenever you want. At last, These people with broken heart go back to Tang dynasty, and they all become monks. Then……(放西游记的歌，白龙马最后出场，背后贴字“White Dragon Horse”End.。
英语幽默短剧剧本
英语幽默短剧剧本搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》搞笑7人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》演员表：西门吹雪、叶孤城、花满楼、king、路人、上官雪儿旁白道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow . Birds are dancing in the cold .A man is walking along the street ,step by step .Wind is ing in silence.Another mysterious man approaches .Y与X相遇．X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you !Y:, Never mind baby.X:Excuse me， who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name?Y:,I won’t change my name! no matter what happens. I’m the most famous——-YeGucheng. Who are you?X:Iamximenchuixue.Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue?the best MartialArts?X:Great, you know me !Today is your dead date!Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me go!X:No, I must kill you !Y:I don’t want to be killed. There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!X:No way! Because we are fighting now ! you know ?Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don’t force me!X:Pardon!(Y拿出一袋牛奶)X抢过牛奶:milk, very good ! I like drinking it. How do you know that?Y:please drink it!X喝完牛奶:Thanks,Y:Do you still want to kill me ?X:Sure, must! Milk is milk.Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good ! very good ! I hope you will not forget what you said!?X:I’m sure I won’t!Y:I must give you a lesson ! If I don’t beat you this time, you’ll never behave properly ! 3-2-1!X捂着肚子，蹲下（做痛苦状）：Oach,Oach !Y大笑：HaHa……the milk is exceed the time limit（一人路过，x起身跑过去）X可怜状: excuse me! Help , help , Where is the washroom?please ,tell me .Y:Oh,I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a corssing road!X:Thanks,byebye.Y:byebye (以胜利者的语气，转头,看见花满楼)Y:Who are you?H:Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC” .H惊讶:Now you are the best in the world !Y:You are right !H:Teriffic ! you are the one my king looking for ! do you want join in us? If you follow myking,he will give what you want.Y:Yes,It’s very good.H:Ok, follow me, Let’s go to see my king!第二幕：无间道H:My dearest ! let me introduce yegucheng to you! （指Y）this is yegucheng.K:sit down plese, yegucheng.Y:excuse me,I have a question.will you give me what I want just if I follow you?King:yes,I will.Y:That’s good. Can you give me a MM ?K:of couse.You are the one who has the similar taste with me! Hahaha……Y:of course.美女出场M:hello，帅锅..K: this is shangguanxueer.ok,now let’s have a ritual.H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matterwhat happens such as cold headache , poor ,rich?Y: Yes,I do.K: Huamanlou, e . put the ring on his finger!（音乐停）X唱着上:(看到戒指) this ring should be mine!K:But who are you ? why should it belong to you?Y急切: king! Dear king ! I must go now , my brother is looking for me.X冷酷:yegucheng! Come here ! I want to tell you something!Y抱X的腿:old brother ! Forgive me!X:Forgive you? Why ?Y: Once there was a chance before me , I lost it . If the god give me another chance, I’ll tellyou “ I love you ” , If the remustbea limited period,I hope it is thousand year!X:You shall cheat me ! all you did are wrong ! how can you tell me the lady’s “WC”! Y:I like going lady’s WC .I……I……I think that you like what I like.(Ｙ又拿出一袋牛奶)X:milk?I love you.K:Don’t say that “you love me”. I’ll kill you for you saying dirty word to me !X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You—kill—-me?e, e…(Ｘ上去抓住K)K:Fuck you. I must kill you!X:How can you kill me? haha……Y:Let me have a try! 3-2-1(X捂着肚子，蹲下)M: oh,what happened?（看着X，做惊吓状）are you ok?（跑到西门吹雪身边）Y :do you want to go to wc?X:Yes,I……I…… do.Y:haha, the milk was added 三聚氰胺 beyond standards.M: you , stupid , bad behavior ! go away !K; why ? why do you help him ! who actually are you ?M: actually,I’m a spy sended by LuXiaofeng,and I fell in love with ximenchuixue. K惊讶: !you—you—You are X’lover?Y: do you know, you are the first person who cheated me !I hate you .(轻声说)let me tell you,Ｘwill die.M扑倒在Ｘ的身边：Ｘ,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future andtomorrow is a good beginning !K:what a moving story ! I was impressed ! Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !M: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it needn’t resume !(M忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，Ｋ吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起)Y痛苦状:I never anticipate you treat me by this ,why?tell me why?(Y死，音乐停)（X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起）M: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together .X:go home ! ?M:Tomorrow is another day ! even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our love.X: promise me,you’ll get on well,and you’ll never let go.M I promise . I will never let go（X死） ,M: be alive !yeah , be alive ! be alive without ahendance !搞笑小学英语小品剧本《新守株待兔》人物：农夫，兔子A，兔子B，大树。
【推荐下载】叶倾城,西门吹雪-范文模板 (9页)
本文部分内容来自网络整理，本司不为其真实性负责，如有异议或侵权请及时联系，本司将立即删除！== 本文为word格式，下载后可方便编辑和修改！ ==叶倾城,西门吹雪篇一：西门吹雪与叶孤城2Good morning, everyone. My name is Wang Kangkang.At the beginning of the start, I introduce the drama of our group by me. Ourdrama is called battle on the top of the Forbidden City.Secondly, Introduce our actors and roles.Ye Gucheng ：acted by Xie Yichen;Ximen Chuixue ：acted by Wang Yahui;Hua Manlou ：acted by Wang KangkangOK,Begin our performance now.<<西门吹雪与叶孤城>>-武侠英文话剧剧本演员表：西门吹雪X叶孤城Y花满楼H旁白道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠旁白：A quiet village is covered with whitesnow.Birds are dancing in the cold.A man is walking along the street,step by step.Wind is coming in silence.Another mysterious man approaches.Y与X相遇．X：OH,I am sorry to knock you!Y:Haha, Nevermind baby.X:Excuse me, who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name?Y:ha ha ,I won’t change my name! No matter what happens. I’m the most famous-------Ye Gucheng. Who are you?X:I am xi men chuixue, have you ever heard me?Y惊讶:Ar, xi men chui xue?X:Yes,what is wrong?Y:I heard that you are the best Martial Arts?X:Great, you know me !旁白：What will happen next? A fierce war or The beginning of a love. We expect…Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me go!X:No, I must kill you !Y:Idon't want to be killed.There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!X:No way! 10 years ago, you borrowed 1000kg gold, I seek you for 10 year s. Now, I don’t want money, but your live.Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don't force me!X:Pardon!(Y拿出一袋牛奶)X:抢过牛奶:Milk, very good! I like drinking it. How do you know that?Y:please drink it!said!?you…X喝完牛奶:Thanks, ha, ha Y:Do you still want to kill me? X:Sure,Milk is milk, gold is gold. Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good! Very good! I hope you will not forget what you X:I’m sure Iwon’t! Y:I must give you a lesson!3-2-1! X捂着肚子，蹲下:Oh, Ihave a stomachache, the milk is poisonous, you, Y大笑：HaHa…… X可怜状: help! help! Where is the washroom? H:W hat? What’s wrong with you? X:I have a stomachache now.I want to go to the washroom H:What?X:toilet!H:What?X:The “WC”.H:Oh,I see ,go along the street and turn right when you see a crossing road!X:Thanks,bye bye.H:Wait for a moment. The toilet is only for women.Y掏出纸屑吹: I am a genius now!H:Stop!Protecting the environment is a basicobligation!Y:Who are you?H:Hua---man----lou! Have you seen Ximen Chuixue?Y:Yes, he was beaten by me now,ha……H:惊讶:Now you are the best in the world!Y:You are right!H:Teriffic!you are the one my king looking for! Do you wantto join us?Y:Yes,It’s very good.。
最新-英语搞笑话剧剧本 精品
英语搞笑话剧剧本篇一：搞笑英语话剧剧本1搞笑英语话剧剧本《荆珂刺秦王》旁白()介绍（）：,,搞笑英语话剧剧本《荆珂刺秦王》旁白()介绍（）：,,剑客,“”?,太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：,,,?(画外音：’,!太子丹高兴状)!（面对观众）’,,?(向幕里大叫)?阿三(毕恭毕敬),太子丹：’“、、、、、”!阿三：,!~~~（作杀状）太子：~~~?!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状）!?阿三：,1太子：,,?阿三：（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲?李莫愁荆轲’,,’李莫愁?荆轲!耸耸肩表示同意莫愁!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。
”李莫愁倒地荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状：?’?荆轲''??（赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）李莫愁：",'",轲再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：?荆柯：,,?太子丹：!“”?荆柯：!太子丹：?荆柯：,,?太子丹晕倒荆柯：,,’!太子丹：,’!（毕恭毕敬）,?荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：,'阿三：，荆柯：!太子丹：荆柯：!阿三：,,?荆柯：!阿三(手指上场的美女，激动状)!,荆柯（流口水）：,!阿三：?’?荆柯;,!’?阿三：?’?观众甲：-太子丹：,荆柯（激动）：减食疗法!’阿三：?!??,’,!??你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗??荆柯(诚恳状)?太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）!Ш（《大话西游》主题曲响起）荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后阿三：,荆珂：,,太子丹：,（太子丹，阿三下。
停顿。
《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做和在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。
荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。
）荆珂（急忙收敛）：,妻子：!!（《肖申克的救赎》）荆珂(流泪)：,(哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》)妻子：,!荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：!,（泰坦尼克号沉船时，对的倾诉）妻子""荆轲"“妻子",'"（荆轲的发音和很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。
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The mission第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow .Birds are dancing in the cold .A man is walking along the street ,step by step .His name is ximenchuixue, a mysterious killer who is the most famous in the world. Every year he will kill 3 persons, now it is the time. Yegucheng is the owner of a castle, and he is widely known for his Chinese Kongfu. The wind is roaring and the two men meet at the corner.Y与X相遇．X: Oh ,I am sorry !Y: Haha, Never mind !X:Excuse me, who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name?Y:Haha, I never change my name n o matter what happens. I’m the owner of the castle——Ye Gu Cheng. By the way ,who are you?X:I am xi men chuixue.Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue?X:Yes,what is wrong?Y:I heard that you are the most famous killer in the world?X:Great, you know me ! And the reason why I come here is to kill you !Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me go!X:No, I must kill you !Y:You should not do that.There are an eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!X:No way! If I kill you today, I could go back home and play the computer games all day long.(仰头憧憬状) What a wonderful life ! So, come on, let’s fight !Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don't force me!(Y拿出一袋牛奶)X抢过牛奶:milk, very good! I like drinking it. How do you know that?Y:Please enjoy it!X喝完牛奶:Thanks, ha,ha~~~Y:Do you still want to kill me?X:Of course! I’ve made up my mind!Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good! Very good! I hope you will not forget what you said!?X:I’m sure I won’t!Y:I must give you a lesson or you will be conceited and self-satisfied! 3-2-1-0!X捂着肚子，蹲下：Oach,Oach !Y大笑：HaHa……X可怜状: help! help! Where is the washroom?Y:What ?X:Toliet?Y:What ?X:The “WC”?Y:Oh,I see ,(指着教室的一角)just over there!X:Thanks,bye bye.Y掏出纸屑吹:You are a loser !H:Stop!Don’t you kow protecting the environment is a basic obligation!Y:Who are you?H:Hua—man—lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in“WC” now,ha……H惊讶:Now you are the NO.1 in the world!Y:You are right!H:Terrific! You are the one my king looking for! Do you want to join in us?Y:Yes,I’d like to.H:Ok, follow me, Let’s go to see my king!Y:Ok,Let’s go!第二幕：无间道Huamanlou and Yegucheng are on the way to the Palace. The king is waiting for them. H:My Lord! Let me introduce Yegucheng to you! （指Y）this is Yegucheng.K:Sit down please, yegucheng.H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache and aids?Y: Yes,I do.K: Huamanlou. Put the ring on his finger!（音乐停）X唱着上:Only you……(看到戒指)Stop! This ring should be mine!K:But who are you? Why should it belong to you?X:Because I’m X !Y急切: My Lord!I must go now,my mother is looking for me! 再见！K:再见? What does that mean? It is not English, isn’t it ?Y:How clever, it’s Chinese !X冷酷:yegucheng! Come here!I must kill you !Y抱X的腿:My dear friend! Forgive me!X:Forgive you ? Why?Y: Because I helped you . I told you the WC !X:No,You cheated me! How can you tell me the lady’s“WC”!Y:I like going to lady’s WC .I……I……I thought you will like what I like.(Ｙ又拿出一袋牛奶)X: m-i-l-k?haha,我喜欢!K: 我喜欢?What’s the meaning? Why don’t you say English?X:You are stupid! It means“I like it”.K:Stupid? I’ll kill you for saying bad language to me!X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You—kill—me? Come on…(Ｘ上去抓住K)K:Go away ! I must kill you!X:How can you kill me? haha……Y:Let me have a try! 3-2-1-0(X捂着肚子，蹲下)K: (走过去踢X一脚，然后大笑，对Y说)Thank you very much, you saved my life.Y: (恭敬的说) It’s my duty to protect you .X:Let me go !Y:Do you want to go into lady’s“WC”?X:Yes,I……I…… do.H顶着摇头：no, no，you can’t go to Lady’s “WC”. That is not the place where you should go! Because you are X , the most famous killer in the world !X: I’m the best, so what? Why I try m y best to live but I’m still so miserable ? When can I get my freedom? Must be the day when I’m going to die? !K: You are right. One will not be clever until the day he die. In that case ,why will you die in such a bad sorrow way !Get up and go into the L ady’s WC , then die , comfortablly ! Go ahead !H: you , stupid ! Get out!K; What ? Why do you help him ! Who actually are you ?H:Haha, you’re all treated by me. I’m the bother of X.(走向X，给他一包牛奶) Here is the milk. Drink it and you’ll recover soon.X:接过牛奶，一饮而尽.H(扶起X)How do you feel?X:en,I feel the power is coming back,haha!(走向国王)I remembered that you wanted to kill me, a-ha ?K:(惊恐状,看向Y) Please help me !Y: (向前一步，对着X)X, I’m your opponent. Come on !H:X,leave the king to me,and go ahead to kill the Y.X:OK,good brother !(双方进行激烈的交火，最后X和H赢了。