广州一模作文讲评(重要)

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东莞市广州一模标杆作文15篇及评点(课件版)

东莞市广州一模标杆作文15篇及评点(课件版)

东莞市广州一模样卷15篇1号文:为校服正名(58分)在报社记者的采访记录中,中学生的校服可谓是“惨遭横祸”,被画机器猫的,被歌星签了名的,被试笔的种种。

在中学校园中,的确有许多校服因便宜、质量差而不受待见,但我想说,校服本身作为校园精神文化的象征,理应得到同学们的尊重。

多数校服的左胸前,是学校的校徽,而校徽正是学校文化内涵的最好体现。

由鲁迅先生设计的北大校徽,“北大”二字三人合众,体现出北大兼容包并、自由思想的原则。

南大校徽凝炼有神,传唱着南大校歌中“一诚天下动”的宗旨。

历史的厚沉感积沉在每一个校徽中,当我们穿上校服,将校徽置于胸前,心中怎么能不怀有对学校文化的敬佩?培养出几代英国首相的英国伊顿公学,将戴草帽的传统沿袭了几百年,我想,也正是这种对校园精神文化的敬重与传承,才造就了这样一所顶尖学府。

如果我们对校服随随便便,恐怕也只能成为一个随随便便的人了。

有许多人抱怨道:日本校服可爱清新,欧洲校服庄重典雅,可是中国的校服做工极差,相似度高达百分之九十,丝毫不符合中学生的审美标准。

但若让你每天系上领带,踢双皮鞋,身着燕尾服,恐怕你是不乐意的吧。

就实用性而言,夏天白衣飘飘的衬衫,冬天简洁明快的运动衫更得到我的青睐。

我不必与人攀比衣服的好坏,不必每天出门前发愁自己的打扮,我就爱这身简单轻快的校服。

从学校的角度出发,统一的校服便于管理,让学生专注于学业,两全其美的办法有何不可?倒是,如果哪一天没有了校服,闲杂人等随意混入,那学校这座象牙塔岂不成了元曲中说的“密匝匝蚁排兵,乱轰轰蝇叮血”?在信息开放的年代,我们没有办法否定年轻人对自由、个性的追求,但是,在学校内,身着校服,接受校园文化的熏陶与渐染,同样是一门人生的必修课。

许多不同的场合,我们都要接受相应的规范。

晚会上,宾客们要身着晚礼服,出席葬礼的人们胸前需缀百花,如此看来,学生在校园内必须穿着校服也不是什么过分的要求了,当我们透过现象看本质,校服其实是一件简单、却有着特别意义的衣服。

2024广州一模英语作文解析

2024广州一模英语作文解析

2024广州一模英语作文解析全文共12篇示例,供读者参考篇12024 Guangzhou No. 1 Mock English Exam Essay AnalysisHi everyone! My name is Xiao Ming and I'm a 5th grader. I just took the big 2024 Guangzhou No. 1 Mock English Exam and boy was the essay section tough! The prompt asked us to write about an experience that taught us an important lesson. I really had to think hard about what to write.At first, I was totally stuck. I couldn't think of any good experiences to share. But then I remembered the time last summer when I went camping with my family in the mountains. That trip was super fun but it also taught me a big lesson that I could write my essay about.On the first day of our camping trip, we went on a long hike up the mountain trails. My dad kept telling me and my little brother to stay close and not wander off. But I got distracted looking at all the cool plants and rocks and fell behind the rest of my family without even realizing it.After a while, I looked up and couldn't see my mom, dad or brother anywhere! I was all alone on the hiking trail in the middle of the mountain forest. I started panicking and crying because I was really scared. What if I couldn't find my way back to our campsite? What if I got attacked by a bear or mountain lion?Just when I was imagining all the terrible things that could happen to me, I heard my dad's voice calling my name in the distance. I yelled back at the top of my lungs and eventually they found me and gave me a huge hug. I was so relieved but also really embarrassed that I had disobeyed them and wandered off by myself.From that experience, I learned a very important lesson about listening to my parents and following rules, especially when we're in an unfamiliar outdoor environment. Getting lost in the mountains could be really dangerous for a kid like me. My parents give me rules to keep me safe, so I need to respect that and obey them instead of just doing whatever I want.In my essay, I wrote all about that camping trip and how scary it was to get separated from my family on the hiking trail. I described the panicky feelings I had and how worried I was that something bad could happen to me out there alone. Then I explained the lesson I learned, which is that kids need to listen totheir parents' instructions, especially when it's about safety rules. Following the rules isn't just about being obedient - it's about keeping ourselves out of danger and harm.I tried to use lots of descriptive details and emotions in my essay to make it more interesting to read. I also attempted to vary my vocabulary by using fancier words and phrases that I've learned in English class like "unfamiliar environment," "out of harm's way," and "obey their instructions to the letter." Hopefully that impressed the graders!Overall, while the essay prompt was kind of tricky, I think I did a decent job. It's hard to write a whole essay in English when it's not my first language. But I used that real-life experience as an example, explained the lesson I learned, included lots of details, and tried to use more advanced vocabulary. Finger's crossed I get a good score!Writing the English essay was definitely the hardest part of the mock exam for me. The reading and listening sections went okay, but speaking and writing in another language is just so much more challenging. I really have to practice my English writing more so I can clearly express my thoughts and ideas. But I'm proud of myself for doing my best and not just giving up when I felt stuck on the essay prompt.Well, those are my thoughts on the 2024 Guangzhou No. 1 Mock English Exam essay section! It was pretty difficult but also good practice to get me ready for the real exams later this year. As long as I stay focused, listen to my teachers, and keep working hard, I know my English skills will continue improving.Thanks for reading my analysis! Let me know if you have any other questions. Study hard, but also don't forget to go outside and play once in a while too! Bye!篇22024 Guangzhou English Exam Essay Breakdown by Me!Hi everyone! My name is Xiao Ming and I'm a 5th grader here in Guangzhou. Today I'm going to take a close look at the essay question from this year's big Guangzhou mock English exam. I hope breaking it down can help you understand what the test wants us to write about. Let's get started!The essay prompt says: "Advances in technology like artificial intelligence, robotics and automation are changing the types of jobs people have. What positives and negatives might these changes bring to your community? Discuss both the potential benefits and drawbacks."Whew, that's definitely a long and complicated prompt with some big words in there! Don't worry though, I'm going to explain it all.First up, what are "artificial intelligence, robotics and automation"? Those are all kinds of new computer technologies that can do work and make decisions without humans. Artificial intelligence is when computers can think and learn like humans. Robotics is about building robots that can move around and do physical jobs. And automation is having machines do repetitive tasks without people.So the essay wants us to talk about how these new technologies that can replace human workers might impact our city篇32024 Guangzhou Mock Exam English Essay AnalysisHey guys! It's me again, your friendly neighborhood English expert. I just took the 2024 Guangzhou mock exam for English, and boy was the essay section a doozy! But don't worry, I'm here to break it all down for you in a way even we elementary school kids can understand.The prompt asked us to write a story about a time we helped someone in need. At first I was like "Oh no, I don't really remember doing anything that heroic!" But then I took a step back and realized that helping doesn't have to mean saving someone from a burning building or anything crazy like that. Even small acts of kindness can make a huge difference.So I decided to write about the time I helped my best friend Tommy when he was having a really bad day. You see, Tommy's dog Rufus had run away from home. Tommy was absolutely heartbroken. He came to school with red rimmed eyes from crying so much. During recess, instead of playing like we normally do, he just sat on the bench looking all sad and gloomy.I could've just left him alone or played with other friends. But Tommy's my bestie, and I can't stand seeing him so upset. So I plopped myself down right next to him and said "What's eating you, pal?" At first he didn't want to talk about it, but eventually he spilled the whole story about Rufus going missing.Well, I wasn't going to just leave it at that! I told Tommy we were going to find Rufus, no matter what it took. We made some "Lost Dog" flyers with Rufus's picture and spent the whole afternoon hanging them up all over the neighborhood. Wechecked the animal shelter every day, just in case. We even tried leaving a trail of Rufus's favorite treats to lure him back home.After a whole week of searching high and low, there was still no sign of the little rascal. I could see Tommy losing hope with each passing day. But I refused to give up. I've always been pretty good at thinking outside the box, so I got this totally genius idea - what if we held a contest, and offered a free ice cream party to whoever found Rufus?Using my amazing art skills, I whipped up some cool contest flyers. Tommy and I spent our allowance money to buy a bunch of icecream vouchers from the shop downtown as prizes. Then we blanketed the neighborhood with our flyers. Before you knew it, it seemed like every kid within a 5-mile radius was scouring the streets hoping to collect that sweet frozen treat reward!Lo and behold, two days later one of our classmates named Sammy came running up to the school gate, holding a very muddy but very alive Rufus! Apparently the little guy had accidentally wandered into the storm drain by the park and got himself stuck down there. Sammy's keen ears had heard his pitiful puppy whines echoing from the drain and she pulled him out.Oh man, I wish you could have seen the smile on Tommy's face when Rufus came bounding over and started licking him like crazy! We threw Sammy the biggest ice cream party ever to celebrate. Tommy got his best friend back, and I got to be the hero who never gave up - all because I decided to be a pal and help someone in need.And that's exactly the kind of story the essay graders want to see - a nice, heartwarming tale about how even kids can lend a hand and make the world a little bit brighter. The key is to really paint that picture with a lot of little descriptive details. Don't just say "My friend's dog ran away and I helped find it." Set the entire scene! Describe how sad your friend looked, the steps you took to look for the dog, the creative solution you came up with, the joy when the dog was found safe and sound. Use those sensory details and emotions to really draw the reader into your story.You also want to have a nice moral or lesson at the end to bring it all together. Mine was something like "Helping others doesn't have to be some huge grand gesture. Just taking the time to lend an ear and lend a hand to those you care about is what really matters." Fold that takeaway message into your concluding paragraph and bam - you've got yourself one heckuva inspiring essay!So there you have it, my completely elementary-level breakdown of how to slay the Guangzhou mock exam essay prompt. I really hope these tips help take some of the stress and confusion out of this whole writing thing for you guys. Don't worry, you've got this! Just remember to put on your "kid thinking cap", tell a nice descriptive story, add that little moral at the end, and you'll be acing that essay section in no time! Let me know if any of you need any other advice. Your pal Jimmy is always here to help!篇4The 2024 Guangzhou First Mock Exam English Composition Was Awesome!Hi everyone! My name is Xiao Ming and I'm a fifth-grader at Guangzhou Elementary School. I just took the English composition part of the 2024 Guangzhou First Mock Exam and I wanted to share my thoughts with you all!First of all, the prompt for the composition was really cool. We had to write a letter to our future selves ten years from now, telling ourselves about our lives right now and what our hopes and dreams are for the future. I thoug篇52024 Guangzhou Mock Exam English Composition AnalysisHi friends! It's me again, your pal Little Danny. I just took the big English composition test for the 2024 Guangzhou mock exam. Whew, it was really hard this year! But I'll do my best to break it down for you.The prompt asked us to write a story about a special gift we received. I thought about the awesome new bike my parents got me last year for my birthday. That thing is so sweet - it has 18 speeds, a water bottle holder, and even a bell that plays songs! I was gonna write all about how excited I was to get that bike.But then I remembered my teacher always says the best stories have a bigger meaning behind them. They teach an important lesson about life. So I decided to write about a different kind of gift instead.My story was about the time my grandpa gave me his old baseball glove. Now you might be thinking "A smelly old glove? What kind of lame gift is that?" But this glove was really something special.You see, my grandpa was a pro baseball player when he was young. He played in the big leagues and everything! This glove is from way back in those days. He gave it to me a couple years ago and told me the amazing story behind it.Back in 1973, Grandpa's team made it all the way to the World Series. In the biggest game of the whole season, he made an incredible diving catch that saved the game. Everyone went crazy! His team ended up winning the championship because of that play.After the game, the head coach called Grandpa into his office. He said "Son, that was the greatest catch I've ever seen in my entire life. You deserve a really special reward." And then the coach took off his own glove - the glove he had used his whole career - and gave it to my grandpa. Can you believe that?So this glove wasn't just any old thing. It was a glove worn by a famous coach, and it was awarded to Grandpa for his superhuman baseball skills. How cool is that?When Grandpa gave it to me, he said "Danny, I want you to have this glove. It brought me more luck and glory than anything else in my career. And now it's your turn to fill it with your own baseball memories and achievements." Can you imagine getting an incredible gift like that from your hero? I was stunned.From that day on, I've used Grandpa's glove for every single baseball game and every backyard catch with my dad. It's a little too big and clunky for me, but I don't care. Wearing that glove makes me feel like a total superstar, just like my grandpa was.And you know what? Using that glove has brought me loads of luck too! Just a few months after Grandpa gave it to me, I made the game-winning catch for my Little League team's championship game. Just like Grandpa did all those years ago!When I held up that glove in victory, I felt like I was connecting to my grandpa across all the decades. Like his spirit, his raw talent, and his fearless love for the game had been passed down to me through that glove. It gave me strength I didn't even know I had.That's why this glove is the greatest, most meaningful gift I've ever received. Way better than any dumb old bike or video game. This glove is packed with decades of baseball history and human spirit. It connects me to my family's legacy, and it fills me with the drive to work harder and dream bigger than ever before.Grandpa always says "Champions are made long before they ever step onto the field. They're made by their spirit, their drive, and their determination to be the best." Well, thanks to thisglove, I've got all three of those qualities. Anytime I look at those stained old leathers, I feel like a total champion in the making.So that's the super meaningful story I wrote about for my English composition. What did you think, friends? Did you feel the powerful human spirit radiating from my essay? I sure hope so! Because that spirit, that incredible drive for greatness, is the greatest gift any of us could ever receive.Thanks for reading my analysis! I'll let you know how I did on the exam. For now, I'm going outside to make some more legendary catches with Grandpa's glove. I've got big dreams to achieve!Your pal,Little Danny篇62024 Guangzhou Mock Exam English Comp Analysis by Little TimmyHi everyone! My name is Timmy and I'm 10 years old. I just took the big 2024 Guangzhou mock English exam and boy was the writing part hard! The prompt asked us to write about what we want to be when we grow up. I thought that would be easypeasy since I've known forever that I want to be a firefighter when I'm a grown up! But trying to write a whole essay about it was really tricky.First up, we had to plan篇72024 Guangzhou Mock English Exam Essay AnalysisHi everyone! My name is Li Ming and I'm a 5th grade student at Haizhu Elementary School in Guangzhou. Today I want to share my thoughts on the essay portion of our recent mock English exam.The prompt asked us to write a story about a time we helped someone in need. I really enjoyed this topic because helping others is something I try to do whenever I can. In my essay, I wrote about the time I helped my grandma set up her new smartphone.My grandma is in her 70s and isn't very tech-savvy. She had been using an old flip phone for years. But then my parents got her a new smartphone for her birthday so she could video chat with us and take pictures. The only problem was, she had no idea how to use it!That's where I came in. I'm pretty good with technology, or at least I am compared to my grandma! So I went over to her place one Saturday morning to give her a tutorial on using her new phone.I started by showing her how to turn it on and unlock it. Then I taught her how to make calls, send texts, take pictures and videos, and download apps. Grandma was a little overwhelmed at first. She kept saying "This tiny thing can do all that?" But I was patient and went step-by-step.The funniest part was when I showed her how to video chat. I called my mom's phone from grandma's new one. When Mom's face popped up on the screen, grandma gasped and said "You shrank her head! How did you do that?" I had to explain about video calling and showed her the camera. She thought it was just the craziest thing!After a few hours of practice, grandma started getting the hang of it. She could make calls, text, take pictures, and even video chatted with my uncle. I was so proud of her for learning all those new skills at her age. Grandma was thrilled too. She gave me the biggest hug and said I was a great teacher.Helping grandma with her new technology made me feel really good inside. I was glad I could take something thatseemed so complicated to her and break it down in a way she could understand. She's always doing nice things for me, so it felt good to return the favor.Not only that, but now grandma and I have a new way to stay connected. Sometimes she'll video call me just to show off her cat or something silly she saw that day. I'll have to teach her about memes next! Having this technology brings us closer together despite the distance.Ultimately, I chose this story because it's a simple example of how helping others can be rewarding for both people. For grandma, she gained useful new skills and can stay in touch more easily. For me, I got to spend quality time with her while teaching her something meaningful. Providing that act of service brought us a lot of joy.I tried to organize my essay in a clear way, with an introduction explaining the situation, supporting details in the body paragraphs, and a conclusion revisiting the main idea. I used descriptive language to make the story come alive, like calling the phone "tiny" from grandma's perspective. And I included dialogue to show our personalities.In the end, I really hoped my essay conveyed how helping others can create special bonding moments and make usappreciate our loved ones even more. Acts of service don't have to be huge grand gestures - sometimes it's the simple things that mean the most. I know doing this favor brought me closer to my sweet grandma.What did you all think of the essay prompt? How did you approach it in your own writing? I'd love to hear your take and whether you had a similar experience helping a relative with technology. Don't be afraid to share – that's what build's a community of learners! Thanks for reading, and here's to rocking the real exam.篇82024 Guangzhou Mock Exam English Writing AnalysisHey guys! It's me again, your friendly neighborhood essay expert. I just took the 2024 Guangzhou mock exam for English writing and boy was it a doozy! But don't worry, I'm here to break it all down for you in a way even us kids can understand.The prompt this year was: "Describe a time when you had to make a difficult choice. What were the options you had to consider and what ultimately led you to your final decision? What lessons did you learn from this experience?"Whew, that's a lot to unpack! Making tough choices is just part of growing up though. When I first read the prompt, I immediately thought back to a really hard decision I had to make last summer.My parents had promised to take me and my best friend Tony on a trip to the beach for a week if we both got good grades that year. Well, sure enough, Tony and I totally aced our classes! The beach trip was a go.But then, just a couple weeks before we were supposed to leave, my grandparents called. They said my beloved grandpa wasn't doing so well after his surgery and really wanted to see me. The dates they wanted me to visit overlapped exactly with our beach plans!On one hand, I was really looking forward to that beach vacation. The thought of building sandcastles, splashing in the waves, and staying up late making s'mores over the campfire made me so excited. Plus, I felt like Tony and I had worked really hard all year to earn that trip. It didn't seem fair for it to be taken away.But on the other hand, my grandpa's health was declining rapidly. This might be one of the last chances I had to spend quality time with him and make some final memories. He hadalways been like a second father to me, coming to all my events and supporting me unconditionally. I knew how much it would mean to him for me to be there.Ultimately, after talking it over with my parents, I decided that family had to come first. As painful as it was to miss that beach trip, I knew in my heart that being with my grandpa was the right thing to do. I still remember the huge smile on his face when I arrived, and all the great conversations we had during that visit. He passed away just a few months later, but I'm so grateful I had that special time with him at the end.Looking back, while it was an incredibly difficult choice, I know I made the right decision. Material things and fun experiences will come and go, but family is forever. That trip with grandpa is a memory I'll cherish for the rest of my life.So what lessons can we learn from this experience? First off, making tough choices is just part of growing up, but reaching inside ourselves and doing what we feel is right will lead us down the best path. It's also important to keep our priorities straight - appreciating loved ones and being there for family has to take precedence, even over fun activities we're looking forward to.Finally, whenever we're faced with a difficult decision, listening to those we trust and value, like our parents or rolemodels, can provide much-needed perspective and clarity. Sometimes we get so caught up in what we want in that moment that we can't see the bigger picture. Getting an outside view can shock us back to our senses.Well, that's my analysis of this writing prompt, folks! I tried to show some examples of how I would structure the essay, develop the narrative, incorporate lesson/observations, all while keeping things light and conversational like a kid would. Let me know if any part needs clarification or expansion. I'm happy to provide more details to ensure this is a solid example response. Thanks for reading!篇92024 Guangzhou Mock Exam English Comp AnalysisHi everyone! My name is Xiaoming and I'm a 5th grader at Guangzhou No. 1 Primary School. Our class just took the annual mock English exam and I wanted to share my thoughts on the writing section.The prompt this year was: "Describe your favorite family tradition and explain why it is important to you." I thought this was a really fun topic because every family has their own special traditions that make them unique.For my essay, I wrote about how my family always goes camping together during the autumn holiday. We pack up our tent, sleeping bags, and lots of snacks then drive out to a campground in the mountains. My favorite part is building the campfire and roasting marshmallows! The sticky, gooey marshmallows taste so yummy. We also go on hikes, play games, and tell ghost stories at night. Camping brings my whole family together to spend quality time without any distractions from work, school, or technology.I explained that this tradition is important because it allows us to escape the busyness of city life and appreciate nature. The fresh mountain air and beautiful scenery refreshes our minds and bodies. We create wonderful memories that we can look back on for years to come. Camping strengthens the bond between my parents, little sister, and me. It's a chance for us to unwind, have fun, and reconnect as a family.Some other students wrote about traditions like:Celebrating Chinese New Year by cleaning the house, decorating with red lanterns, eating dumplings, and giving out red envelopes with moneyFamily reunions where all the extended relatives gather for a huge feast and catch upYearly trips to their grandparents' hometown village to pay respects at ancestor gravesWeekly family game nights playing cards, board games, or video games togetherSpecial birthday traditions like getting to pick your favorite restaurant and being showered with presentsNo matter what tradition people wrote about, the main points were describing:What the tradition involves - the activities, foods, customs, etc.Who participates - just the immediate family or the whole extended familyWhen it happens - annually, monthly, weekly, or just occasionallyWhere it takes place - at home, a special location, rotating locationsWhy it's meaningful and important to the familyThe best essays had lots of vivid details to paint a picture in the reader's mind. They didn't just say "We eat dumplings" but described the shapes, colors, flavors, and process of makingthem. They set the scene with descriptions of sights, smells, sounds, and the family members' emotions and interactions.The top essays also clearly explained the tradition's significance using specific examples and personal reflections. Rather than just saying "It brings us closer," they elaborated on how the shared experience creates lasting memories, reinforces cultural or family values, provides quality bonding time, etc.Overall, teachers seemed to value essays that struck a nice balance between descriptive details to illustrate the tradition and insightful analysis of its deeper meaning and importance. Excellent word choice, varied sentences, and great organization were also key.Those are my thoughts on this year's English comp! I worked really hard and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a good score. Writing about my favorite family memory was actually a lot of fun. I can't wait to continue camping with my loved ones and making more special traditions together. Let me know if you have any other questions!篇102024 Guangzhou Mock Exam English Essay AnalysisHey guys! It's me again, your friend who loves analyzing English essays. Today I'm going to take a look at the essay question from the 2024 Guangzhou mock exam for English. Let's dive right in!The essay prompt was: "Many scientists believe that travel to other planets will be possible in the future. Would you like to travel to another planet? Why or why not? Use reasons and examples to support your response."This was a pretty cool prompt if you ask me. It really lets you use your imagination and creativity. When I read it, my mind immediately started dreaming about what it would be like to visit another planet. Would there be aliens? Crazy landscapes? The possibilities are endless篇112024 Guangzhou Mock English Exam Essay AnalysisHi everyone! My name is Xiaoming and I'm a 5th grader. Today I'm going to share my thoughts on the essay question from the 2024 Guangzhou mock English exam. The question was: "If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why? How would you use your superpower to help others?"。

广东一模作文讲评

广东一模作文讲评
• 1、写作对象要明确:通过称呼来体现,无称呼或称呼错误,扣 2 分; • 2、写作身份明确:行文中要有体现,无体现,扣 2 分; • 3、写作任务:能够在模拟联合国大会上展示出中国的良好形象; • 4、符合演讲稿格式,以书信体形式结尾(有落款、日期),扣 2 分。
讲话稿(演讲稿)的写作格式
• 1.标题(必须有标题,可以是单标题——作文标题,也可以正副双标题)
• 思桥,西泠桥是苏小小与阮郎一见倾心的同心桥。桥有长度,风景会消 失,惟有爱情永远美好。是的,也许每一个国家的每一座桥都属于她的 浪漫,欢迎大家来中国领略神秘的东方之美。 • 中国的“桥”是促进世界和平的桥。2013年开始,中国为欧亚大陆 建了两座桥,就是被世界各国称为“一带一路”的“丝绸之路经济带” 和“21世纪海上丝绸之路”。 共建“一带一路”, 它不仅给参与各方 带来了实实在在的合作红利,也为推动构建人类命运共同体,促进全球 治理体系变革,为世界和平与发展不断贡献着中国智慧、中国方案、中 国力量。 • 最后,我把一副关于桥的对联送给大家: • 缩九万里为咫尺,联五大洲成一家。横批:欢迎光临! • 我的演讲完毕,谢谢大家!
感谢、展望、鼓舞等语句作结,使演讲能自然收束,给人留下深刻印象。
最后收束:我的讲话完毕,谢谢大家!)
演讲稿的写作注意事项
• 演讲稿的结构通常包括开场白、正文、结尾三部分。 • 1、开场白:演讲稿中很重要的部分。好的开场白能够紧紧地抓住听众的 注意力,为整场演讲的成功打下基础。常用的开场白有点明主题、交代背 景、提出问题等。不论哪种开场白,目的都是使听众立即了解演讲主题、 引入正文、引起思考等。 • 2、正文:整篇演讲的主体。主体必须有重点、有层次、有中心语句。演 讲主体的层次安排可按时间或空间顺序排列,也可以平行并列、正反对比、 逐层深入。 • 3、结尾:演讲内容的收束。它起着深化主题的作用。结尾的方法有归纳 法、引文法、反问法等。归纳法是概括一篇演讲的中心思想,总结强调主 要观点;引文法则是引用名言警句,升华主题、留下思考;反问法是以问句 引发听众思考和对演讲者观点的认同。此外,演讲稿的结尾也可以用感谢、 展望、鼓舞等语句作结,使演讲能自然收束,给人留下深刻印象。

广州第一次模拟考试作文分析

广州第一次模拟考试作文分析

广州第一次模拟考试作文分析作文题目阅读下面的文字,根据要求作文。

(60分)我们常常听到“为你好”的声音。

父母对孩子说“为你好”,朋友对朋友说“为你好”,单位对员工说“为你好”,政府对民众说“为你好”……一句“为你好”,可以引发我们许许多多的思考。

请写一篇文章,谈谈你对“为你好”的看法,或叙述生活中与这句话有关的故事。

自拟标题,自选文体,不少于800字。

题目分析及写作建议这次作文是由导语引出话题的作文类型。

虽然作文题目没有明确“以‘为你好’为话题”这样的字眼,但“谈谈你对‘为你好’的看法,或叙述生活中与这句话有关的故事”的作文要求,就标明了“为你好”是作文的话题。

“为你好”这句话关涉到说话的主客体双方,导语例举了生活中常见的以这句话为媒介的种种主客体关系,并明确指出“一句‘为你好’,可以引发我们许许多多的思考”。

这个导语既提示了作文的内容和范围是生活中常常听到的“为你好”这句话,又明确了重点是这句话引发的思考。

通过这个导语,我们可以感受到这道作文题的命题思想,这就是引导学生关注生活,思考生活,重视自己的真切感受,学会辩证地看问题。

高考作文是为国家选拔人才服务的,通过作文可以看出一个人的思维能力、思想认识水平、文字运用能力等。

这道贴近生活、贴近学生实际的作文题,是每一个学生都有感受、都有话可写的,又不是能宿构和套作的,它保证了考试的公平性,又有很好的区分度:关注生活、思想水平高、注重个体感受、善于表达的同学能得高分,一般的同学也能写出比较像样的文章,缺乏思想、不善于调动生活体验、文字驾驭能力差的同学就写不出像样的文章来。

它有利于引导学生关注生活、思考生活、学会思想,有利于学生改变作文观念,推动学生去写具有真生活、真思想、真感情的高考作文。

这道作文题,具有很强的思辨色彩,突出了广东高考作文注重思维多元化考查的特色,有利于促进中学教学注重中学生思辨能力的培养。

这是一道很适合考试的作文题。

体会作文的命题立意,调动具体的生活感受(包括阅读中获得的间接感受),针对具体的生活情境进行思考,是写好作文的关键。

【精品】最新广州高考语文“一模”优秀作文选评

【精品】最新广州高考语文“一模”优秀作文选评

【精品】最新广州高考语文“一模”优秀作文选评优秀范文1 古文化遇上新时尚一边是古老神秘的甲骨文,一边是时尚新潮的表情包,甲骨文表情包甫一推出便引轰动。

这是古文化遇上新时尚后的蓬勃生机与无限可能,这也带给我们文化延续与传承的思考。

甲骨文表情包,本质上是一老一新的奇妙文化组合。

甲骨文作为中国最古老的文字,是原始社会里记载山川日月、触摸世间万物的表达方式,代表着一种古老而遥远、深邃而神秘的文化。

而表情包则是近年随社交媒体发展才兴起一种表达方式,它代表的是一种时尚的、流行的文化。

当甲骨文与表情包组合在一起,我们不仅看到了俏皮的图案,还看到了形象的文字;不仅感受到了表情包的新潮和生活气息,还感受到了甲骨文的灵动与活力。

这是一次值得称赞的古今融合,也是古文化与新时尚的一次顺利“会面”,还是一次对古老与时尚的重新解读。

甲骨文表情包之所以引起轰动、收获大量“点赞”,不仅在于内容上的融合,更是因为其背后在传播方式上的“时尚化”创新。

正如泰戈尔所言,“古老的种子,生命的胚芽蕴藏于内部,只需要在新时代的土壤里播种。

甲骨文等千百年前的文化、文物便是那种子,只要我们在时尚传播的土壤里悉心耕种,便可收获古文化的新生机,因此,不少“种子”纷纷穿上时尚外衣,在新时代生根发芽:古诗借助时尚流行歌,《经典咏流传》让《苔》《明日歌》重回人们视野,文物经由网购助力,故宫里的字画不再寂寞。

古文化经过时尚的传播渠道,中华上下五千年的文明也焕发了新光华。

在新时代重现芳华。

在古文化园遇上新时代而恢复容光之时,我们更应深入思考:怎样让以“慢”为特色的古文化与以“快”为标签的新时尚更好地包容和合,从而激发持久的文化活力?不让《在舌尖上的中国》里的挂面、章丘铁锅仅成为短时间的现象级追捧;不让文物保护只停留在瞬时激增的志愿者报名数目;不让悠久的文化只是我们脑海中一闪而过的片断记忆。

我们要以更坚守的态度,更坚定的毅力呵护着古文化的过去、现在,甚至未来,让新时尚陪在古文化的身边慢下来,走远去。

2022届广东省广州一模语文作文题评析

2022届广东省广州一模语文作文题评析

2022届⼴东省⼴州⼀模语⽂作⽂题评析阅读下⾯的材料根据要求写作。

(60分)棋虽⼩,⽅⼨之间,却蕴含⽆穷智慧。

围棋,弈者持⿊⽩⼆⾊圆形棋⼦在⽅形棋盘上对弈,棋⼦地位平等,双⽅以围地更多为⽬标,棋盘上往往出现中有我、我中有你的局⾯。

象棋,开局⽅隔阵对垒,棋⼦分为不同⾓⾊,⾏棋时有各⾃的规则,棋⼿排兵布阵展开攻防。

跳棋,棋盘为六⾓型,可多⼈共同参与,棋⼦功能相同,⾏棋时棋⼦可彼此借⼒,相互搭桥铺路,⼒求⼰⽅棋⼦率先全部到达终点。

以上材料具有启⽰意义,请结合材料内容写⼀篇⽂章,体现你作为新时代青年的感悟与思考。

要求:选准⾓度,确定⽴意,明确问题,⾃拟标题:不要套作,不得抄袭,不得泄露个⼈信息,不少于800字。

题⽬类似于去年新⾼考Ⅱ卷,去年新⾼考Ⅱ卷作⽂题是以书法的道理来写⼈⽣的道理,今年这道模拟题,是以下棋的智慧写⼈⽣的智慧。

⼀、作⽂题⽬分析我们还是先来给作⽂题⽬做⼀个简单的分析。

这是⼀道新材料作⽂题。

题⽬由题⼲、材料、写作指令、写作要求四个部分组成。

我们重点看看这道作⽂题的材料和写作指令两个部分。

(⼀)材料分析材料分为两个层次,第⼀层次是⼀句话“棋虽⼩,⽅⼨之间,却蕴含⽆穷智慧。

”讲的是⼀对相对的信息,棋⼦很⼩,游戏的棋盘也很⼩,但是蕴含的智慧却是⽆穷的。

这句话最主要的⽬的是要让考⽣关注、思考棋中的“智慧”。

材料的第⼆个层次由三段话组成,每⼀段话讲⼀中棋,三段话之间是并列的关系。

这个层次的内容,跟第⼀个层次的关系是解释性的关系,作为“棋虽⼩,⽅⼨之间,却蕴含⽆穷智慧。

”这句话的⽀撑性材料。

我们从中就可以读出各种不同的棋有什么样的智慧蕴含在其中。

为了更清晰,我们可以⽤表格的形式来把这三个并列的段落进⾏⽐较分析。

不管你懂不懂下棋,但是对材料做这样基础的分析,作为⼀位⾼三学⽣,还是应该会做的。

(⼆)写作指令分析写作指令部分,“以上材料具有启⽰意义,请结合材料内容写⼀篇⽂章,体现你作为新时代青年的感悟与思考。

高三广东省广州一模作文评讲课件

高三广东省广州一模作文评讲课件

令人伤感 的结局
令人喜悦 的结局
①从主题上看,更好深化主题;②从表现人物性情上看,能更好地塑造人 物性情,引起对人物命运的同情;③这种结局,令人回味,引人思考.
①从表达效果上看,喜剧结局给读者留下了广阔的想象空间,耐人寻味; ②从阅读者的情感体验上看,符合人们阅读的心理预期,给人以愉悦之感; ③从主题上看,这样的结局凸显出的美好人性,符合大众对审美的追求。
作用
①制造悬念,激发读者的阅读兴趣; ②引出下文的情节;③突出人物形象; ④揭示小说的主题。
①交代故事产生的环境,为人物活动提
写景 法
对景物或者环境进行描写。 (《祝福》的杀鸡宰鸭的 情节)
供背景;②渲染气氛;③烘托人物心情; ④为情节的发展作铺垫; ⑤暗示故事的结局。
请你思考下列小说结尾方式是什么?
202X全国1《天嚣》
2.小说以“渴”为中心谋篇布局,这有什么好处?请简要说明。
①省去许多不必要的叙述交代,使情节更简洁; ②集中描写人物在特定环境下的状态与感受,使主题更突出。
3.小说以一个没有谜底的“美好的谜”结尾,这样处理有怎样的艺术效 果?请结合作品进行分析。
①小说人物“他”所知有限,这样写很真实;②故事戛然而止,强化了小 说的神秘氛围;③打破了读者的心理预期,留下了更多想象回味的空间。
作业评讲(《步步高》65练——《糖醋张》)
小说后半部分以“糖醋张”烧菜为关键连接人物,安排情节,这样 处理有什么作用?请简要分析。
走入情节作用的探究
情节作用
嘿,写你何用?
如何问?
提问方式:
(1)作者在结局上的这种处理是否合理? 谈谈你的看法和理由。
(2)有人认为小说的XX情节是多余的, 请谈谈你的看法,并简要说明理由。

广州一模作文点评最好的相处之道

广州一模作文点评最好的相处之道

广州一模作文点评最好的相处之道全文共6篇示例,供读者参考篇1【广州一模作文点评最好的相处之道】大家好啊!我是小明,今天我要跟大家分享一下我学到的相处之道。

我觉得相处可是一门很重要的学问哦,因为我们每天都要和爸爸妈妈、老师、同学还有其他人相处。

如果相处得好,生活就会happy;如果相处不好,生活就会很难过。

所以掌握好相处之道,对我们以后的人生道路可是大有帮助的!首先,最重要的就是要有一颗善良的心。

善良的心就像一盏明亮的灯,可以照亮我们和别人之间的路。

我们要学会关心别人、体谅别人,用爱心对待每一个人。

就算是小动物,我们也要好好爱护它们。

因为这个世界越有爱,它就会变成越美好的地方。

其次,我们要学会尊重别人。

每个人都是独立的个体,都有自己的想法和主张。

我们虽然可以友善地交流自己的观点,但决不能对别人的观点嗤之以鼻或百般挑剔。

更不能对别人的种族、肤色、宗教信仰等产生歧视。

大家都是地球村的村民,我们应该友爱相处,和睦相处。

再次,我们要学会宽容。

宽容就是包容别人的缺点和错误,用仁慈善良去对待别人。

因为没有一个人是完美无缺的,每个人都会or有过错,所以我们要学会原谅。

不过,这并不意味着纵容有错误行为。

如果是严重的错误,我们要善意地指出来,让对方改正过来。

此外,诚实守信也是很重要的品质。

我们要说到做到,不能说一套做一套。

因为"人无信不立"啊,如果别人都不相信你说的话,你就会很孤单,没有朋友了。

所以我们要诚实正直,对自己对别人都要有诚信。

当然,我们还要学会互帮互助。

因为我们生活在这个地球村里,每个人都是这个大家庭中的一员。

如果有人遇到困难,我们应该伸出援手,尽自己所能地帮助他人。

这样,当我们自己遇到困难的时候,别人也会来帮助我们。

这就是"有福同享,有难同当"的道理啊。

总之啊,相处之道可以说是包罗万象。

善良、尊重、宽容、诚信、互助,这些都是非常重要的。

我们从小就应该好好学习和实践,把这些美德内化于心,外化于行。

广东省广州一模作文评讲课件

广东省广州一模作文评讲课件

• 以“探索从未停步,超越永无止境”为主题,从下列任务中任选一 个完成写作。
• ①“东方红一号”卫星发射成功后,以当时中学生的身份给学校广 播站写一篇广播稿。
• ②在电视台“开学第一课”节目中向全国中学生演讲,以学生代表 身份写一份演讲稿。
• ③“天问一号”成功着陆火星后,以学校团委名义给“天问一号” 团队写一封慰问信。
重点部分
4、表达美好的期望(设想未来中国航天事业的发展)
材料和情境任务,超越永无止境
1、表达对我国航天事业所取得的成就的喜悦、感慨
2、歌颂航天人的精神(探索、接力奋进……)
接力奋进,勇于探索的航天精神,带来了我国航天事业的伟大胜利! 接力奋进,勇于探索的中国精神,必将了带来社会主义的伟大胜利!
分1:中国航天精神,是从不止步的探索。(还可以加入意义:探索, 带来中国不止步的发展。)
分2:中国航天精神,是精益求精的超越。
分3:我辈当学航天之精神……(具体情境)
…… // 一代又一代航天人接力奋进,协同攻坚,不断超越,铸 就了中国航天精神。
以“探索从未停步,超越永无止境”为主题,从下列任务中任选 一个完成写作。 ③“天问一号”成功着陆火星后,以学校团委名义给“天问一号”团 队写一封慰问信。
总结句(关键句)
…… // 一代又一代航天人接力奋进,协同攻坚,不断超越,铸 就了中国航天精神。
以“探索从未停步,超越永无止境”为主题,从下列任务中任选 一个完成写作。
中国航天人的探索和超越 (中国航天精神)
问题一:抛离材料,泛谈“探索”和“超越”!
审材料 明确核心内容
• 找关键词句(提示语里的问题、反复出现、关联词连接、总结、回 答……)
• ②在电视台“开学第一课”节目中向全国中学生演讲,以学生代表 身份写一份演讲稿。

2023年广州一模大小作文评讲---应用文-投稿类写作学案+-读后续写逐句翻译练习-[解析版]

2023年广州一模大小作文评讲---应用文-投稿类写作学案+-读后续写逐句翻译练习-[解析版]

2023年广州一模大小作文评讲小作文·【投稿类】【2023广州一模】你校英文报“Teenage Life”专栏本期的主题为“Sports and Health”。

请你用英语写一篇短文投稿,内容包括:1.运动的重要性;2.你的运动建议。

注意:1.写作词数应为80左右;2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

Sports and Health【2023全国甲卷】你校将以六月八日世界海洋日为主题,举办英语征文比赛,请你写一篇短文投稿。

内容包括:1.海洋的重要性;2.保护海洋的倡议。

注意:1.词数100左右;2.短文的题目和首句已为你写好。

【2022全国乙卷】学校英文报正在开展以Learning English Beyond the Classroom 为题的讨论。

请使用图表中的调查结果写一篇短文投稿,内容包括:1.学习活动状况描述:2.简单评论;3.你的建议。

高考小作类型:投稿分析:文章为投稿类型,在2022年全国高考的甲卷和乙卷分别都考察了投稿的文章类型。

有别于信件类,文章开头不能再写“Hi,I'm Lihua...”。

所以,学生首先要了解投稿的文章结构,才能下笔如有神。

★“投稿”结构:第一段:交代背景第二段:运动的重要性第三段:运动建议第四段:总结/呼吁1.第一段:交代背景A.备用句型:①众所周知As we all know,/ As is known to all,② 人们普遍认为... It is commonly acknowledged that ...③ 现今,随着XXX的发展Nowadays, with the development of ...随着XXX的日益流行Nowadays, with the growing popularity of ...④当谈及到XXX,XXX变得越来越...When it comes to XXX, XXX is becoming more and more ...B.内容---直接点题【广州一模】Sports and Health (重要)1)It is commonly acknowledged that sports are significant to our health.(运动于健康很重要).2)保持良好的身心健康是非常重要的。

2023年高考广州一模语文一测12篇标杆作文评分与点评,附作文题解析评分与点评,附作文题解析

2023年高考广州一模语文一测12篇标杆作文评分与点评,附作文题解析评分与点评,附作文题解析
发展等级打在“丰富”。
16+16+16=48
7 号文
本文属论述类二等文。
本文开篇第一段,引入一个“航海把握舵的方向”作为喻体,从而提出要正确认识“势”,乍看似乎合理,但在本作文题材料指向逻辑上来看,将“势”完全解读为“方向”并不准确。
作为材料中并未出现的“舵”,贸然引入第一段,有另起炉灶之嫌。
第二段提出“势”既是机遇,也是挑战, 尝试进行核心概念的界定,但表述不严谨。让人“举步维艰”的并不是 “挑战”本身,而是人的主观能动性没有做到 “顺势而为”。
不足之处在于个别词语表达稍显生硬,如“深挖具体”“抗击日军谋势”等;第四段“吾辈青年”的论述稍显简略而“回首过去”又略微冗长了点。
发展等级打在“深刻”“有文采”。
18+19+19=56
3 号文
本文属议论类一等文。
文章开篇总括材料, 由水石而至人生,准确鲜明地提出中心论点。
第二段阐释势的作用。此段从正反两方面分析顺势和逆势的影响, 详写顺势,用“钱学森、颜宁”等较为丰富的例证阐明了“顺时势则可以施展抱负, 书写溢彩华章”的道理。略写逆势,承前文点到即止,进而提出应如何顺势乘势的问题。
第三、四两段论说乘势而上的两个必要条件:“蓄势待发、韬光养晦”、“审察时局、谋势而动”。
两个段落都以“提出论点——简要阐释——举例分析——得出结论”的路径展开。观点表述准确, 例证与观点之间较为贴合,语言简练, 结构清晰。
第五段富有现实意义,指明当下的各种可乘之势, 鼓励青少年蓄势、谋势、乘势而上。
文章论证方法多样, 句式整散结合, 情感充沛,气势高蹈。故语言判为一类上。
文章的第三个层次论证稍弱,或因考场时间紧迫, 结尾略显乏力。
发展等级打在“深刻”。

广州一模作文审题指导及范文点评(精华本)

广州一模作文审题指导及范文点评(精华本)

2021年广州一模作文审题指导及范文点评(精华)一、原题再现:24.阅读下面的材料,依照要求写一篇很多于800字的文章。

(60分)某报社记者发觉中学生校服上的涂画现象较为突出,下面是他的采访记录。

学校门口。

记者:同窗,你校服上画了机械猫,什么缘故又用涂改液涂掉?学生:班主任让我全数洗掉,洗不掉就得用白色涂改液盖住。

商场。

记者:同窗,你校服上有歌星张颖靓的签名,是真迹吗?学生:百分百真迹。

文具店。

记者:哇,你怎么直接在校服上试笔?洗不干净的!学生:校服很廉价呀。

要求:①自选角度,确信立意,不要离开材料内容及含义的范围。

②自选文体,自拟题目。

③不得套作,不得剽窃。

二、审题指导:【题目解读】题目与2021年语文高考(广东)作文一样,属“材料作文”,或用广东高考阅卷场的说法,属“材料引……”题型。

题目中的材料是作文选取角度、确信立意的起点,作文不能“离开材料内容及做文章的范围”,作文是不是在材料的“内容”和“含义”范围内写作,是判定作文是不是属于“符合题意”的关键。

因此,审题的重点应该弄清材料的“内容”和材料的“含义”。

咱们以为,对“内容”的明白得,偏重于文字的表层信息;对“含义”的把握,偏向于材料的隐含信息。

(一)材料的“内容”(文字的表层信息)材料的要紧内容是说“学生在校服涂画”的现象,具体有:1.记者以为学生在校服上涂画的现象较为突出(在学校门口、商场、文具店都看到)。

2.班主任要求学生洗掉机械猫,以为若是洗不掉就得用涂改液涂掉。

3.班主任要求学生洗掉机械猫,而他又洗不掉,从而想出了应付的方法。

4.学生让歌星(偶像)直接在校服上签名,穿着歌星签名的校服逛商场。

(二)材料的“含义”(材料的隐含信息)从“校服涂画”内容上挖掘,隐含在材料中的信息要紧涉及三个方面:1.青春物质、个性特点⑴在校服上涂画,以独树一帜、彰显个性,这是青春的物质。

⑵在校服上涂画以表达个性,是不适当、不睬智的表现。

⑶在校服上涂画喜爱之物,是转达思想、寄托情感的方式。

广州一模作文讲评

广州一模作文讲评

广州一模作文讲评近日,广州市教育局公布了2021年高中一模考试成绩。

作为高考的“预演”,一模考试成绩对于广大高中生和家长十分关注。

其中,作文成绩更是考生们最为关心的一项。

据了解,今年广州市高中一模作文题目为《“道德经”中的智慧》。

下面,我们就来一起看看这道作文题目,并分享一些作文讲评。

作文题目:《“道德经”中的智慧》近年来,传统文化成为人们关注的热点话题之一。

而道家思想作为中国传统文化的重要组成部分,尤其是《道德经》的影响更是深远。

在当今社会,我们需要借助“道德经”的智慧,以指导我们的生活和行为。

请以此为题,写一篇文章探讨如何将“道德经”的智慧融入现代生活。

作文讲评题目解读这篇作文的题目要求考生探讨如何将《道德经》中的智慧融入现代生活。

此题既考察了考生对于传统文化的理解,也考察了考生对于当代生活问题的认识。

需要注意的是,这篇作文并不要求考生深入阐述《道德经》的内容和思想,而是要求考生从当代生活的角度出发,思考如何将这些智慧应用到自己的实际生活当中。

策略建议1.明确立意:作为高考作文,立意十分重要。

考生需要明确自己的表达意图,让读者从开头就了解文章的主题和思路。

针对此题目,考生可以立意探讨如何应用“道德经”的智慧解决当代生活问题。

2.突出重点:考生需要在文中明确突出探讨对象,即“道德经”中的智慧。

要想将这些智慧融入自己生活中,考生需要对于这些智慧进行深入的思考和分析,并结合实际问题,进行具体的应用。

3.善用例子:例子是高考作文的重要组成部分。

通过合理的例子,能够更好地阐述自己的观点,并增强读者对于文章的理解力。

在此题中,考生可以选取与生活密切相关的例子,比如“仁者爱人”、“守拙”、“无为而治”等,从不同的角度来阐述“道德经”中的智慧如何应用到现代生活中。

作文范例“道德经”中的智慧是中华文化千年积淀的精髓,对于当代人们的生活和行为也有着深刻的启示。

在面对现代社会种种生活问题的时候,我们可以从“道德经”的智慧中寻找到一些答案。

广州一模作文讲评

广州一模作文讲评
暖力量)
❖ 熊培云有言:“心地温暖者,亦身体力行, 脚踏实地。”温暖与善意从不会凭空而生,这 位守望着良知底线的油条哥,便是身体力行地 为我们空荡的心房铺上肥沃的土壤。保住岌岌 可危的底线,以一点光明烛照破土的希望,方 终有生长出善意温暖的可能,方终能重拾内心 温暖,亦以温暖待人待世。(影响)
❖ 德不孤,必有邻。其人之守望,终相信并 不孤单,而是美好的先曲,温暖滋生之土壤, 睁开我们另一只充满温暖的眼,看见一个更美 好的世界。
“任务驱动型”材料作文的谋篇布局
❖ 开头段:(1)简单回顾材料,作出你的选择。 ❖ 第二段:(2)就事论事,说明你选择“该项”和
不选另外“两项”的理由,得出中心论点。 ❖ 中间段:(3)围绕中心论点,从主题或题材两个
方面选与材料相近或相反的例子进行深入的论证, 选材参考:古—今、正---反、自然---社会等。 ❖ 特别强调:不要脱离材料内容,即每段论据论述分 析完成后要再扣回材料分析。 ❖ 倒数第二段:(4)结合自身实际和身边现象,表 明决心(可选)。 ❖ 结尾段:(5)再次回顾材料,点题结尾,升华主 题。
守望良知 方为温暖之壤
❖ 喧嚣世事,匆匆疾行的人群于淡漠的面容背后 的一颗柔软之心,似乎渐变冰冷,这不是我们所期 望的社会,亦不是社会原有的模样;所以一则温暖 的新闻对融化心中冷冷的防备,催生爱与善的花蕾, 是何等重要。
❖ 一个因儿子太忙而挂号等候的老人,一次画展 上贴心而关怀的对孩童无心之过的处理方式,都如 一缕春风动人;但,总觉得无法再撼动内心深处的 冰层。只有“油条哥”的新闻放在面前时,才觉不 但温暖,而且有一丝辛辣令我们心中一跳,以“反 思”为名的力量正凿开坚硬的心房。
存在问题
❖ (基本符合题意)
❖ 1.由材料引出概念,然后论证这个概念的。 例如从第一条新闻,引出“诚信”,然后论 证“诚信”的。从第二条新闻,引出“敬业” 然后论证“敬业”的,或者引出“互相理 解”“父子情”然后论述的。从第三条新闻 引出“友善”,然后论证“友善”的。 2.没有作出选择,写作泛泛而谈的。 3.就某一条新闻扩写成记叙文或者散文的。
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整理ppt
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二、立意
三则“暖闻”社会新闻,选择一则刊登 在《暖闻》专栏中,你认为哪一则更合适? 体现你的思考、权衡与选择。
①油条哥: Why(体现你的思考、权衡与选择) ②老父亲: Why(体现你的思考、权衡与选择) ③主办方: Why(体现你的思考、权衡与选择)
整理ppt
7
根据材料的内容,紧扣体现社会的“温度和人情味”的 《暖闻》专栏的特点,三则新闻的含意可以如下理解。“暖”
抬不起头,根本说不上话。老人家等了两个多小时后,只好挂了个 号,和儿子见了一面。
某地举办珍品画展,一位男孩在探身观赏时不慎跌倒,损害一 副珍贵名画,主办方认为男孩只有12岁,又不是故意的,因此仅备 案而未报案,希望男孩的心理不要受到影响。
从以上新闻中选择一则刊登在《暖闻》专栏中,你认为哪一则 更合适?请综合材料内容及含意作文,体现你的思考、权衡与选择。
注意:不要脱离材料的内容和含义作文(不能抛开材料)
整理ppt
4
• 温馨提示1:三则新闻都包含了社会的“温度和人情味”,考生 要理解分析三则新闻,加以权衡,从中选择一则刊登在《暖闻》 专栏上,而选择的标准就是《暖闻》专栏开设的目的,发掘“有 温度和人情味的新闻”,要“引导读者以温暖的视角看待社会”。
写作要求:选好角度,确定立意,明确文体,自拟标题;不要套作,
不得抄袭。
整理;1>范围关键词(核心关键词):
三则“暖闻”社会新闻,选择一则刊登在《暖闻》 专栏中,你认为哪一则更合适? 体现你的思考、权衡 与选择。
<2>角度关键词:
①油条哥: Why(体现你的思考、权衡与选择) ②老父亲: Why(体现你的思考、权衡与选择) ③主办方: Why(体现你的思考、权衡与选择)
A:“油条哥”坚持不用“复炸油”,多年坚持给顾客提供新
鲜健康的油条。
B:老父亲因儿子忙于诊病无睱说话,等候挂号排队看望儿子。
C:主办方为了男孩的心理不要受到影响,没有因他无意中损
坏了一幅珍贵名画报案。
写作任务:选择一则刊登在《暖闻》专栏中,你认为哪一则更合 适?综合材料内容及含意,体现你的思考、权衡与选择。
第一则新闻——油条哥:油条哥不用“复炸油”做油条, 给顾客提供新鲜健康的油条,体现的是真诚与善良;言其 “最帅”,有“良心”,是从其道德品质的层面进行判断的, 比较社会上某些不良商人以假乱真、以劣充优的行为,油条 哥遵从了最基本的道德良心,表现出洁身自好、“泛爱 众”“己所不欲勿施于人”的思想;从油条哥的职业出发, 他不作假,不谋取不义之财,而是诚信不欺,守住道德底线, 这种行为表现出来的是良好的职业操守;油条哥的行为标准 也是一个法治社会公民的应有之义,不存害人之心,不行害 人之事,其所作为遵守的是《食品安全法》《消费者权益保 护法》,不损害他人,也保护了自己,乃做人本分。
要求选好角度,确定立意,明确文体,自拟标题;不要套作, 不得抄袭。
整理ppt
2
一、审题
【材料内容】由三部分组成,材料内容,写作任务,写作要求
第一层:为了发掘有温度和人情味的新闻,引导读者以温暖的视 角看待社会,开设了《暖闻》专栏。
第二层:这三则社会新闻,从不同角度反映社会生活的某一个侧 面,都是“暖闻”,又具有不同的“温暖点”。
刊登在《暖闻》专栏上,你认为哪一则更合适?请综合材料内容
及含意作文,体现你的思考、权衡与选择”这句话,创设了某报
开设《暖闻》专栏的情境,要求从三则新闻中选择你认为“更合
适”的一则刊登在《暖闻》专栏上,包含着具体问题的任务型指
令,要求考生在作文中予以解答、完成。因此,考生必须在三则
新闻中做出选择判断,并阐明理由,在比较中思辨说理;不宜对
三则新闻泛泛而论,也不能认整为理pp三t 则新闻“都合适”。
5
• 温馨提示4:作文要“综合内容及含意”,内容是指 材料的三则新闻故事,考生可以任选一则写;含意包 括符合三则故事的内涵、同样具有这样的温暖和人情 味的各类事件。【事例最好同类迁移】
• 温馨提示5:考生决定“更适合”的选择,要有理据 ,这样才能体现“你的思考、选择和权衡”;主要笔 墨放在“更适合”的论述上,如果大量篇幅放在否定 论述上,中心难以得到突出。
素材同类迁移: 素材反向迁移:
整理ppt
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第三则新闻——主办方:主办方并没有追究损坏名画 的孩子,担心孩子心理受到影响。首先我们可以认为是主办 方仁慈、宽厚、大度的胸怀所致;其次也可以比较珍贵名 画和孩子心理或孩子成长孰重孰轻,由此可以看出主办方 对孩子心灵的爱护、对人性的尊重。
素材同类迁移: 素材反向迁移:
素材同类迁移:
素材反向迁移:
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第二则新闻——老父亲:父亲探望做医生的儿子。一方 面是父亲去看儿子,儿子忙得没空抬头看自己,只好挂号与 儿子见了一面,可见其爱子心切、爱子情深,体现亲情的可 贵而暖心;另一方面是儿子坐诊忙碌,无暇旁顾,所体现的 是儿子的敬业精神,以病人为重。这则故事也反映了自己与 他人、个人与社会的关系,医生表现出来的是舍己为人、公 而忘己的品性;医生的行为对自己或许严格了点,但与当下 利己主义盛行的现象相比,是值得充分肯定的,也可以说体 现的是儒家“爱人”、墨家“兼爱”的思想的。
• 温馨提示2:值得注意的是,材料中对三则新闻都只是客观陈述, 而没有直接点明“温度和人情味”各体现在哪里,需要考生对 “暖点”进行分析、提炼与概括,也就是要在理解材料内容的基 础上,把握材料的含意才能更好地阐述其更适合刊登在《暖闻》 专栏上的理由。
• 温馨提示3:注意完成写作任务,“从以上三则新闻中选择一则
2016广州一模作文讲评
整理ppt
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18.阅读下面的材料,根据要求写一篇不少于800字的文章。(60分) 某报为了发掘有温度和人情味的新闻,引导读者以温暖的视
角看待社会,开设了《暖闻》专栏。编辑部收到三则新闻: 一位卖油条的青年多年坚持不用有害的“复炸油”炸油条,给
顾客提供新鲜健康的油条,被网友称赞为最帅的良心“油条哥”。 一位老父亲从外地来医院看望儿子,看到儿子正在坐诊,忙得
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二、立意
【立意方向】 1.选择油条哥
①油条哥真诚、善良,体现人性情怀,让人心暖。 ②油条哥遵从本心,这种本心是孟子所说的“是非之
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