唐伯虎点秋香(英文剧本) 改编版
唐伯虎点秋香改编
改编后的小品剧本。
唐伯虎点秋香人物：唐伯虎——唐——Y 饰小强——强——L 饰秋香——秋——G 饰强盗A —— A——C 饰强盗B —— B——J 饰台词：第一幕：公子出游旁白：一个是风流才子，一个是貌美佳人，唐伯虎点蚊香的美妙爱情……sorry，唐伯虎点秋香的美妙爱情是如何开始的呢？故事就发生在这个秋高气爽的清晨～（唐和强上）唐：桃花坞里桃花庵，桃花庵里桃花仙，桃花仙人种桃树，又摘桃花换酒钱……强：好诗唐：我就是神武英明，盖世无双，人见人爱，花见花开，车见车爆胎的唐伯虎！我不仅谈吐优雅，而且品种优良，（停顿）堪称海洋三所的——强：盒饭唐：嗯～～？（瞪眼）强：模范！如果说俺们少爷有才他得受罚的话，那他可就得千刀万剐呀～唐（瞪眼）：哎～呀你看你这话说得……强：如果说俺们少爷有德那是犯罪的话，那他可就是罪恶滔天啊～（唐捋袖子）如果说俺们少爷帅～唐：我帅故我在强：那是造孽的话唐：嗯～～？？！（作打人状）强：天打雷劈呀！唐：嗯？你小子说啥玩意儿呢，找削啊！强：少爷息怒息怒，你看，八卦上说您今儿个有桃花运唐：啥玩意儿啥玩意儿，说我今天有桃花运，我哪天没桃花运啊（强嘻笑）你小子别瞎说，再瞎说以后不出来带你玩儿了（下场）第二幕：秋香上旁白：那时候，秋香同志正赶在上班的路上～秋：人在职场飘，哪能睡懒觉，哎呀今天要新员工培训的，没想到又起晚了，我得赶紧啊不然得迟到啦。
（A、B上场，斧头舞）A：此树是我开～B：此路是我栽～A：要想过此路～B：留下钞票来！A：打打打打打打劫！秋：哇，好可爱的面具，你们哪里买的啊。
B：严肃点严肃点，我们这里抢劫呢。
A：IC、IP、IQ卡，通通告诉我密码！秋：我刚上班，还没发工资呢。
A：那有现金没？秋：要多少钱啊？A：两块，一人俩包子，别扯别的秋：没两块，只有五块的。
A（抢）：拿来吧，（对B）找她三块钱。
B：大哥，咱们就剩三块了啊A：给她，快点儿。
秋：还能买罐花生牛奶。
钱也给你们了，可以放我走了吧。
英语小话剧搞笑唐伯虎点秋香
（江南四大才子结伴出游）一女子：你们看，你们看，江南四大才子在那边哎.(look,look! here comes the four handsome boys! )（众女子兴奋观看）（四大才子摆ＰＯＳＥ，众女子倾倒逃散）（一女子被四人拦住，被迫跳河）唐伯虎：想跑？你飞不出我的五指山的。
（欲跳下河被拦住） (don’t go ,you can’t fly out of my five fingers! )祝枝山：伯虎兄，有人在看。
(keep calm brother tang, someone watching )祝枝山：今天我们江南四大才子到这里游山玩水，难怪那些女子要疯狂了。
(Today we four handsome boys here, it's no wonder that those women are crazy !)文斌：说得是，(that’s true )文征明：各位各位，既然大家今天兴致这么好，不如来吟首诗如何？（hey,boys ,how about singing poems since we are exicted 祝枝山：哎，征明兄提议的好啊。
文斌兄你先来。
That sounds great !so ,brother wenbing ,you singing first!）文斌：来呀！(OK),山下一群鹅。
文征明：嘘声赶落河。
祝枝山：落河捉鹅一肚饿。
唐伯虎：吃完回家玩老婆。
三人：哎呀，对得妙呀，真是绝句！( Oh my gad ,this poem is really cool!)唐伯虎：啊哈哈~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` (hahahahaha)三人：真的那么好笑？！(oh,what he laughed at? and What’so fanny!)文征明：为什么唐兄每次出游，都那么豪情奔放呢？ (why brother tang can keep happy everytime when we go out?)文斌：乐而忘形，实在令人（三人）羡慕羡慕啊。
英语剧本-三顾茅庐
英语情景剧剧本:三顾茅庐Three visits to the cottageAside: Three visits to the cottage（中文名三顾茅庐）is a story from one of the FourGreat classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms. ZhuGeliang is one of the main characters in the original. Also, he is an outstanding militarist, politician and the symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history. Another main actors——Liubei, who visited ZhuGeliang's thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to be his military adviser. Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity, helped the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom. He devoted his whole life to the cause and died in harness.Our script is revised from this story . In this play, we add many modern and funny elements. For example, there are some spoken lines and actions which were copied from some classical movies like Infernal Affairs(中文名无间道), My Own SWordsman（中文名武林外传）,The Flirting Scholar（中文名唐伯虎点秋香）were combined in our play. Also, we added some interesting pictures and audio to our slide.Maybe there are some mistakes in our dialogue. But this play is the result of painstaking efforts of our group. So we present our script to you and wish you will like it.Three visits to the cottageAside: After their swearing brotherhood to heaven and earth in a peach garden, thethree persons——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei-had to be janitors in Caocao's corporation to make a living for they could not find jobs. Meanwhile the legendary and mysterious character ZhuGeliang who had been forced to attend CET-6 test by his wife was reviewing examination contents.SCENE 1: Liubei's homeActors: Liubei Guanyu ZhangfeiGuanyu: Brother! We three have been hungry for days and when will this tragic life end? It's so terrible! Liubei: Yu, it's impossible that I don't feel painful, isn't it? But as the proverb says it is hard to sit in Rome and strive against the Pope. Now we come down to Caocao's corporation as gatekeeper, anyhow we can fill our stomachs between whiles. It's very hard to get work now. No diplomas and no job offers, what are you dreaming about?Zhangfei: Oh, Brother! ZhuGeliang's wife borrowed us 500yuan to cope with his husband‟s CET-6 fees last month, it seems that it's time for us to be debt collectors now.Guanyu: Yeah, Brother! Or we'll be as poor as church mouseLiubei: Alas! How did I forget this? Let's go! Go~~ go~! Hurry up! Follow me and go to the mountain for dunning!Aside: And then the three brothers climb the mountain to find ZhuGeliang.SCENE 2: ZhuGeliang‟s houseActors: ZhuGeliang Zhu‟s WifeZhuGeliang: Good morning! I am the genius ZhuGeliang. But I feel so morose recently. Because my wife forced me to pass the CET-6. What‟s CET-6? Do you know? You?(Ask the audie nce) I‟ve never heart about that. Andshe obliged me to read so heavy books and do so many texts. It‟s ridiculous. My major is military advice, not English. Why should I read this?Wife: Darling!ZhuGeliang：My wife is coming，she is so long-winded that I can never bear her.Wife：My dear, how about your study?ZhuGeliang：These books make me want to doze. I‟m dizzy.Wife：Darling! Now, competition is so s erious. If you can‟t pass cet6 to get your master‟s degree, it is difficult to find a job. I have stayed here for half of a lifetime. But never visit a bigger place like Tianjin.(cry) ZhuGeliang：Don‟t worry, these books are too easy for your husband and don‟t need to learn.Wife：Are you sure? let me have a test to you. Listen，read and see!ZhuGeliang：A piece of cake!Wife：Listen, can you spell apple? Desk?ZhuGeliang: Sorry I can‟t.Wife：You can‟t? Oh, how unfortunate I am! (crying) I'm wrong, I'm really wrong, I'm wrong from the beginning.I shouldn't marry here. If I didn‟t marry here, I'll never in this heartrending place now,ZhuGeliang：Don‟t cry, don‟t cry, stop! I …m going to study hard at once.Wife (laugh): That's the spirit! Do you know? We are in the red for your Cet6. I even borrowed money from the gate keeper. What can I do when they dun for debts.ZhuGeliang: Are you pointing to that gatekeeper Liubei?Wife: Oh! Yes! Come on quickly! Boy!Keeper: What is the matter? Madam?Wife: Listen carefully! My husband is too busy doing his homework to welcome any people, so you will tell the people who calls on him that boss has went to study in England.Aside: While it is going on, liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have came to the gate of ZhuGeliang‟s house.SCENE3 Outside ZhuGeliang‟s houseActors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei KeeperZhangfei: Let me knock the door! Open! Open!!!Keeper: (Check from the peep hole) Are these men asking for the debt?(Open the door)Liubei: This is liubei! We are calling on ZhuGeliang and his wife.Keeper: Zhu said he is not in.Liubei: En????Keeper: Oh! No!...I mean …I mean my boss is study ing English in England for the exam of CET-6,and he may not be come back this month.Liubei: OK! We will wait for him here!Guanyu: Nobody knows that when he will be come back, so, let‟s go home!Aside: The three men went away with disappointed. After a month, the deeply autumn came! They came here at the second time. Unfortunately, they didn‟t see Zhugeliang as well . Two month passed, the cold winter is coming! It is heavy snow and very cold outsides. ZhuGeliang knows the reason that why they come here three times, and orders the keeper to let them come in whiles his wife is out.SCENE4 Outside ZhuGeliang‟s houseActors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei KeeperZhangfei: Please tell me in time when you would see him next time, let me bind him up for you. It really should not trouble you to come here time and time again.Liubei: These days, the borrower is the god! Let‟s go there again and show our the warmest heart to move them.(Knock the door)Keeper：My boss is at home today, but he is reading books about CET-6. Please wait for a moment! Zhangfei：Xiao Zhu! Come out! Brothers, help me to take care of my seventh uncle and his third niece. Get out, or I will burn your house down!Guanyu: Sunflower press! AI. Litter brother, big brother has said several times, We are intellectuals, understand? Don't be so rude, we are here for debt, not for his life. If you will kill him, where is our money? Liubei: The submortagage crisis is so serious, don‟t you know that simple reason? If you know, please bat your eyes!Zhangfei (Bat eyes)Guanyu: sunflower press!!!!!Zhangfei: Where did you get this KongFu?Guanyu: Hehe! I get it from a TV program called “My Own SWordsman”, which is so popular with lots of people in China!Zhangfei: Why not say it earlier? We three brother could run a company of Chinese KongFu if we had know that before!Guanyu: Oh!! That is a good idea!!!!Keeper: Don‟t interrupt!!!! Boss is reading!!!Liubei: Keep quite!!!Aside: at this time, zhugeliang is exciting, but his wife come back soon.SCENE 5: ZhuGeliang‟s HomeActors: ZhuGeliang wife liubei Zhangfei GuanyuZhuGeliang: Thank goodness, here's Liubei at last. Ha ha ha ………Wife: Wof! Darling! He may come here to ask me to repay his money. We can‟t let him in.ZhuGeliang: My darling, please don‟t worry. I can make liubei go back with nothing by my sliver tongue Liubei: Mr. ZhuGeliang. I have hunted you for a long time!Zhu: Oh! You are Liubei. What can I do for you ?Liu: my brother, you have borrowed me $500, when you repay it for me? I have starved for several days. ZhuGeliang: I owe you $500? who can testify? Please give me a chance, I want to be an honest man. Liubei: How can I give you a chance? Speak it to the judge.Zhu: Please look, although having ambition , you are just a guarder .We can enlarge our power from this base, and then attack Caocao. At last I believe that we can reign the whole country.Liubei: I‟m so surprised! I don‟t know you are so ideal.ZhuGeliang: If I give you a map, could I not repay your money?Liubei: En…….you know so much about affairs, are you willing to create a new country together with us? ZhuGeliang: But I can‟t help you, I have accustom the life at present.Liubei: If you don‟t help me , the citizen will live a harder life , please don‟t refuse.ZhuGeliang: En……sorry, I can‟t. Because my wife forces me to pass the CET-6 recently. If you can help me toresolve the problem, I will help you.Liu: En…..Zhangfei: (Pull) Brother, co me here. Everything is fake now such as the milk. Why can‟t we find somebody help us do the test or buy a key ?Guanyu: Yes! We can overdraft our salary from Caocao to buy the key at first.SCENE 6: ZhuGeliang‟s HomeActors: Wife KeeperAside: Because the salary has been given to zhugeliang to buy the key, Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have been starving for one month.Keeper：（Happy）Sir , you are really a god . CET6 has got 600 scores. Be really to startle the universe and move the gods.Wife：What happened? 600 scores? Oh! Do not shoulder your several years study ing at a cold window; Do not shoulder my night holding candle accompanying you. After your Master graduates, happy life will approach. Cars, house, money!SCENE 7: Outside ZhuGeliang‟s houseAside: After receiving the master degree, ZhuGeliang will go to work with Liubei to establish a new Kingdom.So the couples apart.Actors: ZhuGeliang Wife Liubei Guanyu ZhangfeiWife：Honey!ZhuGeliang：Darling!Wife：Excellent man have a long-range ambition. You should put cause above everything else , are sure not to miss me.ZhuGeliang：I will have a long journey .Please take care of yourself.(Turn around) Don‟t worried, never miss you!!(Run)ZhuGeliang：(To Liubei)Your Majesty, I will never forget your favour. I should be loyal and devoted to the last. Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei: Let' go!!!!!Aside: The three men go down to the hill. That is the end of the whole story. Thank you for your attention.。
小品剧本《唐伯虎点秋香》
小品剧本唐伯虎点秋香人物：唐伯虎（说话声音温柔），秋香，秋香母（男生反串，学女人腔）劫匪（饰秋香母的人）（唐伯虎入场）伯虎：（右手摇扇/左手拿鸟笼）桃花坞里桃花庵，桃花庵里桃花仙；桃花仙人种桃树，又摘桃花换酒钱。
酒醒只在花前坐，酒醉还来花下眠；半醉半醒日复日，花开花落年复年。
我就是神武英名盖世无双，人见人爱，神见神爱，车见车爆胎，智慧与美貌并重，英雄与侠义的化身，唐伯虎。
我不仅谈吐风雅，而且品质优良，堪称新时代的……伯虎：昨晚做了个梦~~梦到一个算命的老头儿说我今儿个要走桃花运。
[离场] 旁白：伯虎邂逅绝代佳人秋香，上演了一出英雄救美。
秋香：手拿手机背个挎包入场劫匪：紧跟在后嘴里含着婴儿奶嘴儿[贼眉鼠眼]劫匪：站住！此树是我栽，此路是我开，要想从此过，留下买路财！秋香：那小女子把东西给你，你就放我走么？[顺手把手机给劫匪/劫匪把手机放兜里]劫匪：等……等会儿，等会儿，我……我要先劫……劫个色。
（唐伯虎突然从秋香侧跳出）伯虎：葵花点穴手！[加动作]伯虎：混帐东西大白天的也敢抢东西，今天碰到我唐演算你倒霉！最近看新闻不？就是不看新闻，听听广播，看看报纸也能知道呀，党教育我们要以团结互助为荣，以损人利己为耻；以遵纪守法为荣，以违法乱纪为耻。
我最看不起你们这些抢女人东西的人了，一点技术含量都没有，改革开放这么多年了，怎么你连台词都没变，真是悲哀啊。
（扇指劫匪），你看看你，好手好脚的，做点什么不好，学人家打劫，多大了[回过头问劫匪，劫匪痛苦的恩~恩~两声]问你呢！多大了！还叼个奶嘴儿，靠~~！托儿所阿姨没交你学好吗[不耐烦的用扇敲了下劫匪/依然没有应答] 秋香：大哥~~你好像点了他的穴呀伯虎：呀~我差点望了，葵花解穴手[加动作]劫匪：哎呀，大哥，你可别说了，敢情你们姓唐的都这么能说啊。
您跟唐僧是一个妈生的吧，小弟再也不敢了，真是磨及死人不偿命哈。
伯虎：说啥呢，排山倒海！[加动作]（劫匪下）秋香：刚才若不是公子搭救，恐怕我就……伯虎：姑娘你太客气了。
【英文剧本】7人搞笑英语版话剧剧本-三顾茅庐
Three visits to the cottage————By FRIENDSThree visits to the cottage（中文名三顾茅庐）is a story from one of the Four Great classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms. ZhuGeliang is one of the main characters in the original. Also, he is an outstanding militarist, politician and the symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history. Another main actors——Liubei, who visited ZhuGeliang's thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to be his military adviser1. Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity2, helped the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom. He devoted3 his whole life to the cause and died in harness.Our script is revised from this story and writed by my classmates of group FRIENDS. In this play, we add many modern and funny elements. For example, there are some spoken lines and actions which were copied from some classical movies like Infernal Affairs(中文名无间道), My Own Swordsman（中文名武林外传）,The Flirting4 Scholar（中文名唐伯虎点秋香）were combined in our play. Also, we added some interesting pictures and audio to our slide.Maybe there are some mistakes in our dialogue. But thisplay is the result of painstaking5 efforts of our group. So we present our script to you and wish you will like it.Three visits to the cottageAside: After their swearing brotherhood6 to heaven and earth in a peach garden, the three persons——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei-had to be janitors7 in Caocao's corporation to make a living for they could not find jobs. Meanwhile the legendary8 and mysterious character ZhuGeliang who had been forced to attend CET-6 test by his wife was reviewing examination contents.SCENE 1: Liubei's homeActors: Liubei Guanyu ZhangfeiGuanyu: Brother! We three have been hungry for days and when will this tragic9 life end? It's so terrible!Liubei: Yu, it's impossible that I don't feel painful, isn't it? But as the proverb says it is hard to sit in Rome and strive against the Pope. Now we come down to Caocao's corporation as gatekeeper, anyhow we can fill our stomachs between whiles. It's very hard to get work now. No diplomas and no job offers, what are you dreaming about?Zhangfei: Oh, Brother! ZhuGeliang's wife borrowed us 500yuan to cope with his husband’s CET-6 fees last month, itseems that it's time for us to be debt collectors now.Guanyu: Yeah, Brother! Or we'll be as poor as church mouse.Liubei: Alas10! How did I forget this? Let's go! Go~~ go~! Hurry up! Follow me and go to the mountain for dunning!Aside: And then the three brothers climb the mountain to find ZhuGeliang.SCENE 2: ZhuGeliang’s houseActors: ZhuGeliang WifeZhuGeliang: Good morning! I am the genius ZhuGeliang. But I feel so morose11 recently. Because my wife forced me to pass the CET-6. What’s CET-6? Do you know? You?(Ask the audience) I’ve never heart about that. And she obliged me to read so heavy books and do so many texts. It’s ridiculous. My major is military advice, not English. Why should I read this?Wife: Darling!ZhuGeliang：My wife is coming，she is so long-winded that I can never bear her.Wife：My dear, how about your study?ZhuGeliang：These books make me want to doze12. I’m dizzy.Wife：Darling! Now, competition is so serious. If you can’t pass cet6 to get your master’s degree, it is difficult to find a job. I have stayed here for half of a lifetime. But never visit a bigger place like Yangling.ZhuGeliang：Don’t worry, these books are too easy for your husband and don’t need to learn.Wife：Are you sure? let me have a test to you. Listen，read and see!ZhuGeliang：A piece of cake!Wife：Listen, can you spell apple? Desk?ZhuGeliang: Sorry I can’t.Wife：You can’t? Oh, how unfortunate I am! (crying) I'm wrong, I'm really wrong, I'm wrong from the beginning. I shouldn't marry here. If I didn’t marry here, I'll never in this heartrending place now,ZhuGeliang：Don’t cry, don’t cry, stop! I ‘m going to study hard at once.Wife (laugh): That's the spirit! Do you know? We are in the red for your Cet6. I even borrowed money from the gate keeper. What can I do when they dun for debts.ZhuGeliang: Are you pointing to that gatekeeper Liubei?Wife: Oh! Yes! Come on quickly! Boy!Keeper: What is the matter? Madam?Wife: Listen carefully! My husband is too busy doing his homework to welcome any people, so you will tell the people who calls on him that boss has went to study in England. .Keeper: Yes! Madam!Aside: While it is going on, liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have came to the gate of ZhuGeliang’s house.SCENE3 Outside ZhuGeliang’s houseActors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei KeeperZhangfei: Let me strike the door! Open! Open!!!Keeper: (Check from the peep hole) Are these men asking for the debt? (Open the door)Liubei: This is liubei! We are calling on ZhuGeliang and his wife.Keeper: Zhu said he is not in.Liubei: En????Keeper: Oh! No!...I mean …I mean my boss is studying English in England for the exam of CET-6,and he may not be come back this month.Liubei: OK! We are waiting for him here!Guanyu: Nobody knows that when he will come back, thus, let’s go home!Aside: The three men went away with disappointed. After a month, the deeply autumn came! They came here at the second time. Unfortunately, they didn’t see Zhugeliang again. Two month passed, the cold winter is coming! It is heavy snow and very cold outsides. ZhuGeliang knows the reason that why they come here three times, and orders the keeper to let them come in whiles his wife is outside.SCENE4 Outside ZhuGeliang’s houseActors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei KeeperZhangfei: Please tell me in time when you would see him next time, let me bind13 him up for you. It really should not trouble you to come here time and time again.Liubei: These days, the borrower is the god! Let’s go there again and show our the warmest heart to move them.(Knock the door)Keeper：My boss is at home today, but he is reading books about CET-6. Please wait for a moment!Zhangfei：Xiao Zhu! Come out! Brothers, help me to take care of my seventh uncle and his third niece. Get out, or I will burn your house down!Guanyu: Sunflower press! AI. Litter brother, big brother has said several times, We are intellectuals, understand?Don't be so rude, we are here for debt, not for his life. If you will kill him, where is our money?Liubei: The submortagage crisis is so serious, don’t you know that simple reason? If you know, please bat your eyes!Zhangfei (Bat eyes)Guanyu: sunflower press!!!!!Zhangfei: Where did you get this KongFu?Guanyu: Hehe! I get it from a TV program called “My Own Swordsman”, which is so popular with lots of people in China!Zhangfei: Why not say it earlier? We three brother could run a company of Chinese KongFu if we had know that before!Guanyu: Oh!! That is a good idea!!!!Keeper: Don’t interrupt!!!! Boss is reading!!!Liubei: Keep quite!!!Aside: at this time, zhugeliang is exciting, but his wife come back soon.SCENE 5: ZhuGeliang’s HomeActors: ZhuGeliang wife liubei Zhangfei GuanyuZhuGeliang: Thank goodness, here's Liubei at last. Ha ha ha ……….Wife: Wof! Darling! He may come here to ask me to repay his money. We can’t let him in.ZhuGeliang: My darling, please don’t worry. I can make liubei go back with nothing by my sliver14 tongue.Liubei: Mr. ZhuGeliang. I have hunted you for a long time!Zhu: Oh! You are Liubei. What can I do for you ?Liu: my brother, you have borrowed me $500, when you repay it for me? I have starved for several days.ZhuGeliang: I owe you $500? who can testify? Please give me a chance, I want to be an honest man.Liubei: How can I give you a chance? Speak it to the judge.Zhu: Please look, although having ambition , you are just a guarder .We can enlarge our power from this base, and then attack Caocao. At last I believe that we can reign15 the whole country.Liubei: I’m so surprised! I don’t know you are so ideal.ZhuGeliang: If I give you a map, could I not repay your money?Liubei: En…….you know so much about affairs, are you willing to create a new country together with us?ZhuGeliang: But I can’t help you, I have accustom16 the life at present.Liubei: If you don’t help me , the citizen will live a harder life , please don’t refuse.ZhuGeliang: En……sorry, I can’t. Because my wife forces me to pass the CET-6 recently. If you can help me to resolve the problem, I will help you.Liu: En…..Zhangfei: (Pull) Brother, come here. Everything is fake now such as the milk. Why can’t we find somebody help us do the test or buy a key ?Guanyu: Yes! We can overdraft17 our salary from Caocao to buy the key at first.SCENE 6: ZhuGeliang’s HomeActors: Wife KeeperAside: Because the salary has been given to zhugeliang to buy the key, Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have been starving for one month.Keeper：（Happy）Sir , you are really a god . CET6 has got 600 scores. Be really to startle the universe and move the gods.Wife：What happened? 600 scores? Oh! Do not shoulder your several years studying at a cold window; Do not shoulder my night holding candle accompanying you. After your Mastergraduates, happy life will approach. Cars, house, money!SCENE 7: Outside ZhuGeliang’s houseAside: After receiving the master degree, ZhuGeliang will go to work with Liubei to establish a new Kingdom.So the couples apart.Actors: ZhuGeliang Wife Liubei Guanyu ZhangfeiWife：Honey!ZhuGeliang：Darling!Wife：Excellent man have a long-range ambition. You should put cause above everything else , are sure not to miss me.ZhuGeliang：I will have a long journey .Please take care of yourself.(Turn around) Don’t worried, never miss you!!(Run) ZhuGeliang：(To Liubei)Your Majesty18, I will never forget your favour. I should be loyal and devoted to the last.Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei: Let' go!!!!!Aside: The three men go down to the hill. That is the end of the whole story. Thank you for your attention.1 advisern.劝告者，顾问参考例句：They employed me as an adviser.他们聘请我当顾问。
唐伯虎点秋香,搞笑版英文台词
旁白：one day , four scholars go o 了ut for sightseeing舞蹈开始（开场舞音乐）祝枝山: we are four scholars in the southern part china . Today we are waiting here for your sightseeing with the beautiful scenery . How about recite verses ?祝之山：good idea . Mr Tang comes first . 唐伯虎: ok , I think it's a good idea .众人感叹: oh so many beautiful girl秋香走过，与唐伯虎四目相对，深情对望直至离去。
祝枝山: hey come on ,what’s wrong with you文征明: come on唐伯虎: ok ，with water and hills , every plants look bright and beautiful rain and shine , every moment appears pleasant and wonderful .祝枝山: good ,you deserve the title of scholar 唐伯虎: thank you thank you ,I’m the best二：周文宾: oh ,look ，a sexy girl文征明: so beautiful周文宾: she looks so longly ,Mr Tang , show us how to seduce her唐伯虎: en......en......祝枝山: we believe you will not let us down周文兵&文征明: yes唐伯虎: ok周文宾&文征明&祝枝山: go go go如花出场唐伯虎: Hello ( 看到如山真面目)唐伯虎: may I learn on your scholar如花: what ? no way I’m a girl I’m a decent girl唐伯虎: ok I see do you know tangbohu ?如花: tangbohu? Who is he? I don’t know唐伯虎: ok ok how about this ? ten yuan and them let me learn on your shoulder .It’s a deal如花: 10 yuan ? just yuan? At least 100 yuan唐伯虎: oh my lady gaga . you are ugly monster如花: ugly!!! Monster!!! (走人)三周文宾: what't that ? So many people .祝枝山: let's have a look .文征明: get away !(动作：推人)唐伯虎: it's her . I want to go to the party.祝枝山: good idea ! I am sure you can do it .四主持人：oh ladies and gentlemen . I'm at Hua'villa . Today here will hold the Blind Date Party . Oh my god ,look at the crazy the secne .so many people , let's guess who will be the lucky dog . Now , let's welcome Mrs Hua and QiuXiang .主持人：oh Mrs Hua , you are also so young . Of course , QiuXiang you are so beautiful .QiuXiang : thank you !主持人：do you have anything to say ? (对华夫人说)Mrs Hua : i hope everyone can enjoy the night . Thank you !下人：this way , please !QiuXiang : mum, give him some tips . （华夫人开始掏钱，先掏出100，马上收起来，再掏出1块就给了下人，下人鄙视了一下，甩甩毛巾走人，华夫人：切。
唐伯虎点秋香多人英语喜剧剧本
三花痴在街上游走。
花痴1：it is so boring !花痴2：yes, it is !花痴3：we have nothing to do !花痴4：look, the four are there!四大才子出场花痴2：it is them !it is them! it isreally them!花痴3：how handsome they are ! how charming they are !I am dizzying!尖叫！四大才子秀舞。
祝枝山：I am the most handsome man in the world,and I have as much money as mouation!文征明：I am so attractive thateach girl will fall in love with me atthe first sight!(抛媚眼) 尖叫声不断徐峥卿：I am so charming that no one can compare with me !唐伯虎：Do you love me ? haveyou heard my name before? Tangbohu is me !（尖叫。
）文征明：Hi ,guy !today all of us are in a good mood!how about trying some English tounge twist! 祝枝山：Good idea ! brother wen ,you first please!绕口令Peter pepper picked upa peck of pickled peppersDid peter pepper pick up a peck of pickled peppersIf peter picked up a peck of pickled peppers Where is the peck of pickledpeppers peter pepper picked up!（乱成一团）唐伯虎：haha （突然大笑）三人：Is that so funny ?文征明：Why do you so happy today ,bohu !唐伯虎：Because madam hua have promised me to marry qiu xiang .(做可爱状) Ha Ha.However ,I will try my best to get her .祝枝山：since you have made up you mind, we will use our wisdom to help you !四人信心满满一起去了华府。
《唐伯虎点秋香》英文搞笑版剧本
《唐伯虎点秋⾹》英⽂搞笑版剧本唐伯虎与秋⾹Scene one（⾳乐：Happy day）唐伯虎的五位妻⼦正在家中玩牌…唐：（⼿摇⽤钞票攒成的扇⼦，摆pose）I’m back, honeys .Wives:（⼀⼈⼀叫）honey, sweetie, dear, darling, candy.Wife 1: Today is payday, isn’t it?2: How much have you got?3: You’ve promised to treat us a big meal.4: We want to go to KFC.5: Yeah, let’s go!Scene two(They enter KFC.)Wife 1: I want a hamburger.2: I want a fried chicken.3: I want potato chips.4: I want Pepsi.唐：Ok, ok, find a table first, and sit there quietly. I know what your favorite is.(唐伯虎取完⾷物回来)唐：（按顺序发）Your hamburger. You fried chicken…(看见秋⾹)Ur…what a beauty!(⽯榴忙梳妆)⽯：Would you want to treat us?唐：Ok, of course! Join us!⽯：Oh, a free big meal!秋：That’s not so good. We have to go.⽯：Why? Let’s have a meal, a free meal, and a handsome guy.唐：According to your temperament, you two mustn’t come from ordinary family. ⽯：Yes, we are from 华府. My name is ⽯榴. I like cooking, swimming, …(Cell phone ringing)秋：Hello, oh, I’ll be back soon!对⽯：We have to go. Madam Hua called us.对唐：We are so sorry. Thank you all the same.⽯：See you. This is my card.唐：（看秋⾹，看⽼婆）唉!Now I really know what a beauty is!(唐伯虎和祝枝⼭闲逛，在街上，见告⽰，⼀脸惊愕，转⾼兴)唐：God bless me!祝：You’re so crazy about money?唐：Money? No! It’s a secret!祝：（鄙视状）Ur…I see. It must be some women.唐：My parents give birth to me, but you are the only person who knows me. I must be quick!Scene three(华府门前——⼀⼤堆⼈在府门前，唐跪在旁)（⾳乐起：⼆泉映⽉）唐：Everybody! Attention, please! A dutiful son will sell himself for the dead father. Please show some mercy on me!⽯：You, guy, why come here so early just do this kind of business? Don’t you know it will bring bad luck?唐：Good lady, I have no other choice.秋：You look so familiar. We have met before somewhere?唐：Come across each other with no care of acquaintance or not.⽯：What a pity! But we only need one servant.惨⼈：How miserable I am! I want to sell myself for my whole family.唐：It can’t be true.惨⼈：Show some mercy on me. Last night, my whole family except me all went to heaven. And I have heart attack, blood cancer…Please, hire me as your servant. 秋：This one deserves more sympathy. Let’s hire him.⽯：（哭）Ok.唐：Madam, I came first.秋：It’s not a matter of order.⽯：Yes, this guy’s family almost all went to heaven. You just lost your father. We really want to help you, but…唐：But, I’m also miserable.⽯：But the fact is he is more miserable. Do you have something more miserable? 唐：I…Ur…You see, I haven’t clean my nails for days. They are dirty with mud.Doesn’t it seem miserable?(惨⼈的⼩狗突然死去)惨⼈：（痛苦）旺财…旺财…How can you die? You have been with me for so many years! Since you came to my family, you have never had a full meal. I’m so sorry for you.唐：（看见⼀只蟑螂，⼤叫) Be careful!(⽯榴⼀退，踩死蟑螂)唐：Baby！What’s wrong with you? How can you go first?! I have been with you for so many years. I treat you as my brother.I teach you, raise you. How can I imagine you go before me?⽯：秋⾹，They are both miserable, what shall we do?秋：Let’s wait and see.惨⼈：That’s good.(⾛到唐伯虎前)Big brother, don’t play tricks. You guy, please, do some make-ups first. You see, my body is full of wound.How can you look more miserable than me?唐：Please don’t compete with me. The most thing I ca n’t tolerate is that someone competes with me!惨⼈：Can you be more miserable than me?(唐捡起⼀棍，⾃断⼀臂)唐：Now you see, my arm is broken! Ha Ha!惨⼈：I won’t give up. I will contribute my life.（拿起棍⼦砸脑门，⾎流不⽌）Who can be more miserable than me? （倒下）唐：Good guy, you win! We’ll meet next time if there is chance.⽯：This one is dead. We decide to hire you.唐：Really?⽯：Yes.秋：You can go home for some preparations. Come tomorrow.唐：Miss 秋⾹, thank you!(秋⾹回眸⼀笑。
英语剧本：三顾茅庐
Three visits to the cottage————By FRIENDSThree visits to the cottage（中文名三顾茅庐）is a story from one of the Four Great classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms. ZhuGeliang is one of the main characters in the original. Also, he is an outstanding militarist, politician and the symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history. Another main actors——Liubei, who visited ZhuGeliang's thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to be his military adviser. Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity, helped the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom. He devoted his whole life to the cause and died in harness.Our script is revised from this story and writed by my classmates of group FRIENDS. In this play, we add many modern and funny elements. For example, there are some spoken lines and actions which were copied from some classical movies like Infernal Affairs(中文名无间道), My Own Swordsman（中文名武林外传）,The Flirting Scholar（中文名唐伯虎点秋香）were combined in our play. Also, we added some interesting pictures and audio to our slide.Maybe there are some mistakes in our dialogue. But this play is the result of painstaking efforts of our group. So we present our script to you and wish you will like it.Three visits to the cottageAside: After their swearing brotherhood to heaven and earth in a peach garden, the three persons——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei-had to be janitors in Caocao's corporation to make a living for they could not find jobs. Meanwhile the legendary and mysterious character ZhuGeliang who had been forced to attend CET-6 test by his wife was reviewing examination contents. SCENE 1: Liubei's homeActors: Liubei Guanyu ZhangfeiGuanyu: Brother! We three have been hungry for days and when will this tragic life end? It's so terrible!Liubei: Yu, it's impossible that I don't feel painful, isn't it? But as the proverb says it is hard to sit in Rome and strive against the Pope. Now we come down to Caocao's corporation as gatekeeper, anyhow we can fill our stomachs between whiles. It's very hard to get work now. No diplomas and no job offers, what are you dreaming about?Zhangfei: Oh, Brother! ZhuGeliang's wife borrowed us 500yuan to cope with his husband’s CET-6 fees last month, it seems that it's time for us to be debt collectors now.Guanyu: Yeah, Brother! Or we'll be as poor as church mouse.Liubei: Alas! How did I forget this? Let's go! Go~~ go~! Hurry up! Follow me and go to the mountain for dunning!Aside: And then the three brothers climb the mountain to find ZhuGeliang.SCENE 2: ZhuGeliang’s houseActors: ZhuGeliang WifeZhuGeliang: Good morning! I am the genius ZhuGeliang. But I feel so morose recently. Because my wife forced me to pass the CET-6. What’s CET-6? Do you know? You?(Ask the audience) I’ve never heart about that. And she obliged me to read so heavy books and do so many texts. It’s ridiculous. My major is military advice, not English. Why should I read this?Wife: Darling!ZhuGeliang：My wife is coming，she is so long-winded that I can never bear her.Wife：My dear, how about your study?ZhuGeliang：These books make me want to doze. I’m dizzy.Wife：Darling! Now, competition is so serious. If you can’t pass cet6 to get your master’s degree, it is difficult to find a job. I have stayed here for half of a lifetime. But never visit a bigger place like Yangling.ZhuGeliang：Don’t worry, these books are too easy for your husband and don’t need to learn. Wife：Are you sure? let me have a test to you. Listen，read and see!ZhuGeliang：A piece of cake!Wife：Listen, can you spell apple? Desk?ZhuGeliang: Sorry I can’t.Wife：You can’t? Oh, how unfortunate I am! (crying) I'm wrong, I'm really wrong, I'm wrong from the beginning. I shouldn't marry here. If I didn’t marry here, I'll never in this heartrending place now,ZhuGeliang：Don’t cry, don’t cry, stop! I ‘m going to study hard at once.Wife (laugh): That's the spirit! Do you know? We are in the red for your Cet6. I even borrowed money from the gate keeper. What can I do when they dun for debts.ZhuGeliang: Are you pointing to that gatekeeper Liubei?Wife: Oh! Yes! Come on quickly! Boy!Keeper: What is the matter? Madam?Wife: Listen carefully! My husband is too busy doing his homework to welcome any people, so you will tell the people who calls on him that boss has went to study in England. .Keeper: Yes! Madam!Aside: While it is going on, liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have came to the gate of ZhuGeliang’s house.SCENE3 Outside ZhuGeliang’s houseActors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei KeeperZhangfei: Let me strike the door! Open! Open!!!Keeper: (Check from the peep hole) Are these men asking for the debt? (Open the door) Liubei: This is liubei! We are calling on ZhuGeliang and his wife.Keeper: Zhu said he is not in.Liubei: En????Keeper: Oh! No!...I mean …I mean my boss is studying English in England for the exam of CET-6,and he may not be come back this month.Liubei: OK! We are waiting for him here!Guanyu: Nobody knows that when he will come back, thus, let’s go home!Aside: The three men went away with disappointed. After a month, the deeply autumn came! They came here at the second time. Unfortunately, they didn’t see Zhugeliang again. Two month passed, the cold winter is coming! It is heavy snow and very cold outsides. ZhuGeliang knows the reason that why they come here three times, and orders the keeper to let them come in whiles his wife is outside.SCENE4 Outside ZhuGeliang’s houseActors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei KeeperZhangfei: Please tell me in time when you would see him next time, let me bind him up for you. It really should not trouble you to come here time and time again.Liubei: These days, the borrower is the god! Let’s go there again and show our the warmest heart to move them.(Knock the door)Keeper：My boss is at home today, but he is reading books about CET-6. Please wait for a moment!Zhangfei：Xiao Zhu! Come out! Brothers, help me to take care of my seventh uncle and his third niece. Get out, or I will burn your house down!Guanyu: Sunflower press! AI. Litter brother, big brother has said several times, We are intellectuals, understand? Don't be so rude, we are here for debt, not for his life. If you will kill him, where is our money?Liubei: The submortagage crisis is so serious, don’t y ou know that simple reason? If you know, please bat your eyes!Zhangfei (Bat eyes)Guanyu: sunflower press!!!!!Zhangfei: Where did you get this KongFu?Guanyu: Hehe! I get it from a TV program called “My Own Swordsman”, which is so popular with lots of people in China!Zhangfei: Why not say it earlier? We three brother could run a company of Chinese KongFu if we had know that before!Guanyu: Oh!! That is a good idea!!!!Keeper: Don’t interrupt!!!! Boss is reading!!!Liubei: Keep quite!!!Aside: at this time, zhugeliang is exciting, but his wife come back soon.SCENE 5: ZhuGeliang’s HomeActors: ZhuGeliang wife liubei Zhangfei GuanyuZhuGeliang: Thank goodness, here's Liubei at last. Ha ha ha ……….Wife: Wof! Darling! He may come here to ask me to rep ay his money. We can’t let him in. ZhuGeliang: My darling, please don’t worry. I can make liubei go back with nothing by my sliver tongue.Liubei: Mr. ZhuGeliang. I have hunted you for a long time!Zhu: Oh! You are Liubei. What can I do for you ?Liu: my brother, you have borrowed me $500, when you repay it for me? I have starved for several days.ZhuGeliang: I owe you $500? who can testify? Please give me a chance, I want to be an honest man.Liubei: How can I give you a chance? Speak it to the judge.Zhu: Please look, although having ambition , you are just a guarder .We can enlarge our power from this base, and then attack Caocao. At last I believe that we can reign the whole country. Liubei: I’m so surprised! I don’t know you are so ideal.ZhuGeliang: If I give you a map, could I not repay your money?Liubei: En…….you know so much about affairs, are you willing to create a new country together with us?ZhuGeliang: But I can’t help you, I have accustom the life at present.Liubei: If you don’t help me , the citizen will live a harder life , please don’t refuse. ZhuGeliang: En……sorry, I can’t. Because my wife forces me to pass the CET-6 recently. If you can help me to resolve the problem, I will help you.Liu: En…..Zhangfei: (Pull) Brother, come here. Everything is fake now such as the milk. Why can’t we find somebody help us do the test or buy a key ?Guanyu: Yes! We can overdraft our salary from Caocao to buy the key at first.SCENE 6: ZhuGeliang’s HomeActors: Wife KeeperAside: Because the salary has been given to zhugeliang to buy the key, Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have been starving for one month.Keeper：（Happy）Sir , you are really a god . CET6 has got 600 scores. Be really to startle the universe and move the gods.Wife：What happened? 600 scores? Oh! Do not shoulder your several years studying at a cold window; Do not shoulder my night holding candle accompanying you. After your Master graduates, happy life will approach. Cars, house, money!SCENE 7: Outside ZhuGeliang’s houseAside: After receiving the master degree, ZhuGeliang will go to work with Liubei to establish a new Kingdom.So the couples apart.Actors: ZhuGeliang Wife Liubei Guanyu ZhangfeiWife：Honey!ZhuGeliang：Darling!Wife：Excellent man have a long-range ambition. You should put cause above everything else , are sure not to miss me.ZhuGeliang：I will have a long journey .Please take care of yourself.(Turn around) Don’t worried, never miss you!!(Run)ZhuGeliang：(To Liubei)Your Majesty, I will never forget your favour. I should be loyal and devoted to the last.Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei: Let' go!!!!!Aside: The three men go down to the hill. That is the end of the whole story. Thank you for your attention.本文来自: 教客网剧本大全(/xiaopin/index.html) 详细出处参考：/xiaopin/xiaopin_269965.html。
多人剧英语剧本 10人左右英语话剧
Flirting Scholar （唐伯虎点秋香）Act 1地点：A river side, on the street人物：江南四大才子，如花，一女子，石榴，华夫人，道具：4扇子，丝巾，伞，小刀，2凳子，背景音乐旁白：江南四大才子结伴出游，众女子兴奋观看。
一女子：Look, the 'Four Scholars' are over there.（四大才子摆pose，众女子倾倒）一女子：Go and have a look,祝枝山：We come here for a tour.That’s why the girls are that crazy.文征明：Pals, why not has a poem competition?祝：Very good idea! Why don't you start first? Brother Wen bin.周文斌：l am the best in this field.'There are many geese under the mountain.'文征明：'They rushed down to the river.'祝：'Let's roast a goose.'唐：'After roasting, you'd better go home for a screw.'三人：Good, very good. Very good!（三人笑，唐伯虎逛笑）祝：There is something attractive.See, there is a beauty on the bridge. She seems to be lonely.Why not show us your talent about how to court a girl.To let us learn from you!唐：Well...周文斌：lt's the welfare for your friends, so?唐：l am glad to demonstrate it.三人：Go.唐：Miss.如花：What's the matter? （一回头，竟是如花！）三人：Go, go...唐：May l put my head on your shoulder?如花：ls it OK? No, l am a girl, a decent girl.唐：l know, l want to make my friends happy, that's all.ln fact, l am Tong Pak-Fu.如花：So what?l don't know you.l will shout for help if you don't leave me alone.唐：How about paying you 1 tael?如花：1 tael? Who do you think l a.m.?Make it ten.唐：That's too expensive, why don't you rob?如花：Right, l am robber.Give me all your money.（两人乱打，最后如花被唐伯虎打落河中）三人：What's wrong? （赶到桥上）What’s the matter?文征明：No need to punch her like that?唐：Robber! lt's a ladyboy!三人：Ladyboy?祝：l love it. Hold it. （祝枝山将折扇递给文斌，跳入河中）文征明：Damn it. He is being the first to!（华夫人带众人去拜神）秋香：Look, so many people!石榴：Yes, it's crowded.华夫人：Chun-xiang, Xia-xiang, shut up,四大才子：Heave yourselves.What's going on?某人：Madam Hua and her 4 pretty maids have come for worshipping.周文斌：The maids are all pretty, especially Qiu-xiang.唐：Who is she? Who is Qiu-xiang?文斌,征明：Look! That way.三人：Qiu-xiang.（秋香回首一笑）唐：Damn, she is not pretty at all.周文斌：You know, pretty woman is like flowers.You'll be all eyes for its beauty if some leaves are around.Look once more.三人：Pretty woman!（一整排回首，旁人皆成丑女衬托）唐：er…she may not my type.Act 2地点：West Gate of Hua’s house人物：唐伯虎，秋香，石榴，祝枝山道具：“旺财”，1手帕，“小强”，2卖身牌，1棍子，4凳子，银两旁白：第三幕，华府西门口。
唐伯虎点秋香小品剧本
唐伯虎点秋香小品旁白：故事发生在五百年前,有一位由全班同学选举产生的药学四大才子之一的唐伯虎同学隆重登场;唐：桃花坞里桃花庵,桃花庵里桃花仙,桃花仙人种桃树,又摘桃花换酒钱强：好诗啊,好诗唐：我就是神武英明,盖世无双,神见神爱,人见人high,车见爆胎的唐伯虎,我不仅谈吐优雅,而且品质优良,堪称我们药学系的...强：米饭唐：恩强：哦,不不,是模范,如果说我们少爷帅唐：我帅故我在强：那可是造孽的话呢,那可得天打雷劈啊唐：你说什么你,你反了你拉强：少爷,少爷,别生气,别生气;我看黄历上说你今天你有桃花运啊唐：啥,啥,啥,今天有桃花运强：是啊唐：我哪天没有桃花运,你别瞎说,你再瞎说下次不带你出来玩,听见没旁白：一天,伯虎邂逅了绝代佳人秋香同学,那时秋香同学刚从校复印社复印卷纸回来,途中路遇两劫匪;土匪左右上,配音乐秋：人在考场飘,哪能不考焦,我校复印社为提供历年考试习题,祝你一臂之力匪头：呔此路是我栽,此树是我开,要想过此路,留下卷子来秋：你们要干什么匪：打,打劫秋：Yameidai,这是我刚复印的,不能给你们,我要用的匪头：你要用,我们还要用呢,拿来吧你秋：卷子给你们了,我可以走了吗匪：大哥,我们还没吃法了匪头：饿啊匪：恩跺头：有钱没秋：要多少跺头：两块,一人两包子,别扯了秋：可是我只有五块的头：五块,拿过来头：有三块没弟：大哥,就剩三块钱了头：三块,找他,别废话,抓紧弟：给你秋：钱都给你们了,我可以走了吗头：哎~兄弟,过来弟：大哥,什么事头：你没发现这小妞挺漂亮的弟：真的啊头：真的弟：我看去头：去,快去弟：大哥说这妞长的好看,我看看去弟：哎呀,这姑娘长的真不错,大哥的眼光就是好啊头：肯定呢弟：那我今天不但劫钱,还得劫个色头：要西~弟：嘿嘿...看你往哪跑唐：葵花点穴手头：你等着,我去找人收拾你你等着唐：跑,让你先跑一百米头：等着唐：让你跑你就跑,你这瘸子咋这么实惠呢,难道你们两个没听过社会主义,和谐社会,和谐校园吗;就算你们不看news,不听广播;你总该知道,党教育我们,以遵纪守法为荣, 以违法乱纪为耻,以团结互助为荣,以损人利己为耻,我最讨厌你们这些抢女人卷子的人啦,啥卷子哦,让我看看;中医药概论,悲哀,你两真是悲哀,连这么没有技术含量的课都过不了;等会,你这腿咋瘸了呢强：估计是给彪哥忽悠瘸了唐：我说你吧,腿瘸了就在家待着呗,学人家出来走什么江湖啊;万一哪天一条警犬跳出来,扑哧一口,把你另一条腿咬了,你咋整,你说咋整;我替你愁,还有你还有你今天挺冷的啊,你就穿这么点衣服,挂着似的,长的磕碜就别学人家讲风度,难道你就是传说中的爱斯基摩人,就算你不替你自己考虑一下,总得替你一大家子企鹅考虑考虑,听到没,听到就翻一下白眼吗,你不翻白眼我怎么知道你明白呢;哦,你明白了,我的神呐,原谅这两个败家的孩子吧,葵花解穴手头：感情你们这些姓唐的都这么能白霍弟：你跟唐僧一个妈生的吧唐：子曾经曰过强：少爷,少爷,别曰了,人都走光了唐：都跑了幸亏他们跑的快,姑娘,你受惊了秋：刚才若不是公子搭救,恐怕我就,恩~扭唐：没什么,见义勇为嘛秋：公子仪表堂堂,敢问公子如何称呼唐：在下,姓唐名伯虎,敢问姑娘如何称呼秋：叫我秋香好了啦唐：哎呀,好香的名字,那就允许在下送姑娘回家吧秋：那就,有劳公子了强：我家公子见了秋香小姐,那可是豁然开朗啊,腰不酸了,背不痛了,腿脚也灵便了,这情歌也就说唱就唱了唐：你入学的新书包,有人给你拿秋：表白不唱这首歌嘛唐：对,再唱差辈了,再换一首,我送你离开,千里之外,你无声黑白,沉默年代,或许不该,太遥远的未来,我送秋：公子不用送了,我家到了唐：咋这么不巧,这样吧,以后经常手机联系秋：你这啥破手机啊唐：啥破手机;我这手机还能玩电脑游戏秋：什么游戏强：贪吃蛇唐：谁叫你说实话的秋：公子就此告别了强：秋香姐姐一回头唐：科比改打乒乓球强：秋香姐姐二回头唐：杨过爱上李莫愁强：秋香姐姐三回头唐：和尚开始用飘柔一天,秋府要为秋香选婿,至于去的人嘛,那还是很多滴母：那怎么能叫很多呢,那是相当多的秋：妈咪,你打算出什么题,来为难一下我的未来夫婿啊母：香啊,这你就不要担心啦,害怕你妈我考不死他还考不焦他强：少爷,少爷,我到海选现场看了一下唐：什么情况强：那家伙,那家伙是人山人海啊唐：这么多人啊强：是啊,我光看见头发,连头都不见了,这秋香的铁丝还真不少啊唐：啥叫铁丝啊强：铁丝,铁丝,铁杆粉丝嘛,没文化真可怕;我还听说秋香她妈可厉害了,去的人不是掉胳臂就是掉腿的,还有连命都搭上的呢唐：嘿嘿,看来要使点小手段,来对付秋香and her mother了你过来,你先去表现的卡点,然后我再去,这叫差称好,方显我伯虎本色强：it's unfair唐：what强：这不公平唐：有什么不公平,我是你老板,你的听我的,对吧;事成之后,红山动物园一日游,带你看大马猴去强：大马猴唐：喜欢吧,去吧母：138号,你有ID吗强：I...D啥玩意母：这怎么残疾人还是,会八荣八耻吗你就来强：啥叫八荣八耻,我还瞎八母：三个带便知道不啊强：三个代表啊,是不是一个胳臂上带仨表啊母：香,挺有钱,妈看看去,没事的;swatch snoopy staday;走;你蒙我呢你,就你这素质也来,下一个强：夫人,夫人,别生气,我刚刚给你开玩笑的嘛,你看我给你整一段拿出竹板东方红,太阳升,祖国腾飞似巨龙,城乡经济大发展,和谐社会乐融融,爱祖国爱人民为人服务要热情,多为祖国献爱心母：哎小伙看不出来啊,身残志不残啊,去,老夫人做主了,就要你了强：要我了,真要我了;少爷,少爷,你家丈母娘说要我啦,嘿嘿唐：嘿,嘿个P;你想怎么你,你想抢我媳妇是吧;秋老婆子,怎么回事,我唐寅还没来..秋母咳唐：妈,妈什么事母：唐寅唐朝的人,唐寅什么东西唐：唐伯虎秋：妈,唐伯虎母：唐白话是吧唐：雅号,雅号母：才高八斗是吧唐：兄弟们封的母：学富五车ju是吧秋：妈,是学富五车母：泡妞无数是吧唐：那不行,我对爱情那是相当专一的与秋传目母：往哪看,那行,我今天考考你;十口心思,思君,思国,思社稷唐：八目共赏,赏花,赏月,赏秋香母：看不出来你还挺有才得啊,上辈子裁缝吧唐：不能怪我啊,要怪就怪上帝他老人家,没给我一张可以征服女生的脸啊,只能好好学习了母：中国哪位古人跑的最快唐：曹操强：少爷,少爷什么事啊唐：说曹操曹操就到,小强,你看你跑的多快啊秋：妈,好聪明啊母：小聪明,药学系哪个专业美女最多唐：药学专业母：一看就知道是泡妞无数的典型,走秋：妈,还没问八荣八耻呢母：这样的会八荣八耻么唐：前后扭会会,会啊母：别蹦跶啦,说八荣八耻唐：哈哈哈哈母：笑什么唐：当我笑声结束的时候母：结束怎么了唐：哈哈哈,当我笑声结束的时候,就是我不笑的时候母：神经病说八荣八耻唐：哪个谁过来,跟哥配合一下啊;以饭后洗碗为荣,以抽烟喝酒为耻;以家庭第一为荣,以指挥媳妇为耻,以锻炼身体为荣,以乱砍美女为耻母：幼稚,大伙瞅瞅看,长的这磕碜样配我们家如花都不够格,走;唐：香...香...秋母把秋香软禁了起来,秋香整日是涕泪涟涟啊唐：风萧萧兮易水寒强：少爷,少爷少爷唐：别拦我,我得去救秋香,我仿佛听到她嗷嗷的哭声强：秋香姐姐声音又那么大吗唐：你不懂,女人哭声似老虎嘛强：香香姐她妈可厉害了,去了要是失败了怎么办啊唐：失败只是一种心态,其余什么都不是,心若在梦就在,大不了再也不来、、强：哭少爷你都快成烈士啦唐：糟了强：怎么了唐：掐指这次恐怕凶多吉少强：为什么啊唐：原因有二,第一,我不信春哥,第二,我爸不是李刚抱头痛苦强：节哀吧,没了秋香姐,还有小月月、、唐：拼了;香香,伯虎来到你门前,清你把门开,我看在发呆,今天的你我还能重复昨天的爱恋,我这破手机还能捕捉到你的遗言,香香,咋没声音了呢,你不会挂了吧秋：哎,门外有声音,出个暗号考考他,唱哎~门外是谁把门敲嘞,黑呀咯黑唐：伯虎哥哥来解救嘞,黑呀咯黑秋：你来解救什么人嘞唐：当然是秋香小妹妹嘞秋：厚德博学唐：济世日新秋：你虎啊唐：我虎啊秋：是你啊唐：你等着,我把你给整出来,唉呀妈呀,你咋自己出来了,香香、欲拥抱,秋退哎呀还害羞,没关系,古代女人嘛,自打学习了勾股定理我知道什么叫麻烦,自打学了高等数学,我才知道什么叫超级麻烦,自打认识了你,哦,香香,我才知道这个世界是多么美好啊,YO YO音乐,今天你要嫁给我;跳舞,单手扶,一手打转晕,晕了母：伯虎啊,一直没看出来,原来你还是我们中医药高专的纯爷们嚎~唐：一直被模仿,从未被超越母：行,老夫人我答应你们俩在一起了唐：啊,这是真的嘛,您真的真的答应我们在一起了吗,我爱死你嘞~哎呀,夫妻双双把家还飘下台圆满结束。
《唐伯虎点秋香》中英文台词(88页完整版)
《唐伯虎点秋香》中英文台词（88页完整版）What's going on?究竟什么事呀？I've waited for 6 hours, why hasn't he come out yet?我等了三个时辰呀，都未出来啊！Usually, he will come out not more than 4 hours.是呀！平常两个时辰左右就出来！Put the rubbish in front of the door.把垃圾放在门口Yes.哦！Let's fight for it...一齐去抢，抢呀！I have gotten the calligraphy of Tong Pak-Fu.我终于抢到唐伯虎的墨宝了Give it to me...我抢到先的…给回我It's mine...是我抢到先的嘛！Master. Isn't one dish of soy enough?一碟豉油够不够用呀，少爷？Slowly, please.慢慢来Many people come for your paintings,少爷，外头好多人来求画why don't you bother?真的不理他们吗？I have no mood to draw.今日我没有心情画画Give them two more baskets of rubbish, that's it.帮我拿几箩垃圾给他们算了Yes.是！少爷Mr. Chuck.祝公子Brother Tong.唐兄Mr. Chuck.祝兄Help, Brother Tong.唐兄，救M呀I think you must have lost all you money again.看来祝兄一定是输得干干净净了You understand me so well.生我者父母，知我者唐兄呀Among the "Four Scholars",江南四大才子之中Everyone knows you love gambling.就以祝兄你为人最为洒脱，众人皆知"Having no money, to live comfortably",所谓风吹J蛋壳，财去人安乐it is your motto, right?此乃祝兄你的座右铭呀You are flattering me!过奖，过奖You're born to be a free-liver.但是比起唐兄的风流不羁In fact, you are much more luckier than me.小弟真的有如天渊之别呀But...只不过…you lose so much money per every two days祝兄你隔几天就一百几十两地输and you come to seek help from me after losing money, 输光了又走来叫救MI don't think I can help you forever.长此以往…也不是办法喔Sure!有见地！Because of that, I tried to risk for the last time.小弟就是有见及此，所以破斧沉舟But I lost the money which I could earn till my death.一次过输清我一生可以输的钱That's 300,000 taels.整整三十万两So, I have to beg you to draw 30 paintings...所以要麻烦唐兄替我画三十幅画in order to save my life.用来还债救M呀I understand pretty well.明白明白Shui, go out first.阿水，你先出一出去Yes, master.是，少爷Damn you, don't you think I owe you that?王八蛋，你把这里当是善堂呀？You need 30 paintings?还要我画三十幅画？！No way!免谈！Please!不要这样啦It's my fault,系我唔好，系我唔好呀！I am now begging you to forgive me.我现在叩头认错You should remember that I lent you the blue magazine when you were a child! 你唔念在当年后生时，我借YPT给你看Also, I always help you to sell your paintings which make you get rich!你也念在这几年我帮你卖画赚到一大笔吧Some loan-sharks are waiting for me outside,而且外面有好多人在等候they want me to get 30 paintings of yours within one hour.如果三炷香之后，我拿不到三十幅画出去Otherwise, they'll kill me! Will you help me or not?就将我劈开几份！你帮不帮我？One hour? Well, since you are my brother,三炷香？！不要说做兄弟不照顾你I will write your lament for your funeral.我即管在你灵堂上替你写副挽联Say, "A bastard" or "A scumbag", which one do you like?一写「S有余辜」，一写「S不足惜」Choose between these two.你随便选一句啦！Pak Fu, don't be that mean to me.伯虎，你不要这么绝好吗？I swear if I gamble again,最多我发个DU誓，如果我以后再DU钱的话I will be terribly raped by an ugly woman until death.我就让天下最丑样的女人日夜LJOr until my dick to be rotten.直到体无完肤，摇摇欲坠为止！Is it OK?这样可以了吧？You made such worst oath!这么悲壮的DU誓你都发得出？OK, I will save you for the last time.好！我今次即管再救你啦Man, give me the stationery.人来呀！文房四宝侍候You are such a heroic friend, so righteous! 唐兄不愧忠肝义胆，侠骨丹心…Cut the crap, undress.废话少讲，脱衣Undress?脱衣？What are you doing?搞什么呀？What?这样玩？Fantastic!认真神乎奇技It's worth of being tortured like this!真的是被你打S都值得呀！What is it called?叫什么名堂呀？It's great!利害啦！It's called "Great Eagle".是叫做「雄鹰展翅气吞天下图」It is worth over 300,000 taels.这一幅画已经抵偿到你三十万两Don't bother me again.请你以后不要再来烦我Sure!一定一定！But you really amazed me.不过我更佩服唐兄之处…You used my nipples as flowers.是可以将我胸前的双点作花You used my palms as trees.双掌作树My ass is painted as stone.屁股画石Cloud and mountains are drawn on my feet. 前足作云，后足作山About the eagle,那只鹰which part of my body is used?是用我身体的哪个部份勾画出来的？It's your penis.是用阁下的子孙根I guessed it correctly.果然不出我所料It's great! How wonderful!雄浑激情，勾画出它的神韵呀！I only used your penis to draw the little worm hung in the eagle's mouth. 只不过是鹰嘴上面含着的那条小虫吧！How come you think it's great and wonderful?何来雄浑激情之有呀？！That's good!都好！It's useful anyway.可以转弯的Tong Pak-Fu was born in Ming Dynasty,唐伯虎，于明宪宗成化六年in the year of Tiger.庚寅年，寅月寅日寅时出世He was named Tong Yan.故名唐寅Yan was born in the year of Tiger, so he was also named as Pak Fu.因寅属虎，故又名唐伯虎He was very clever and was good in writing poems and paintings.唐寅聪明绝顶，诗画双绝He was the leading scholar of the "Four Scholars" in Ming Dynasty.位列江南四大才子之首So Tong Yan was the idol of many people.为当时男女老少所崇拜的偶像He was envied by many men而最为人津津乐道的because he had 8 pretty wives.就是他拥有八位天姿国SE的娇妻He seemed to be the most lucky guy in the world!恍如神仙美眷，羡煞旁人！Hands up, do you have money?举手！身上有没有一百几十两啊？Please lend it to me first.给我用一用吧！Kidding! So poor are you!有没有搞错啊？得那么少！Pay me now.赔钱啦！You have got money, we can keep on playing now.你有钱，我们就可以继续玩了You always win,每一局都是你赢的I wonder, are you a swindler?不知是不是出术的？I'm lucky indeed!当然啦，我旺吖嘛！Honeys, come and eat the chicken wings!几位娘子，有J翼吃啦Why are you that late?挑完J骨才来呀？这么久Hey, are you ready?好了，你们摆好了吗？We're ready...可以打了！像催M符Oh, my painting of "Hundred Flowers"!我的「百花争艳图」…Please lend it to me to be a mat for the table.现在用来垫一垫桌子Don't be so mean!不是太过份嘛？！You are not dying, you may draw another one any time you like. 你还没S，有空再画另一幅吧But...但是…Cut the crap, play with me.不要再说，我们来猜拳先吧Choi Choi, make it three, four thirty.财财！三叉仔！四块半Drink it!饮！Hurry up!快点啦"Chinese Poems - Tong Yan"「唐寅诗集」What are you doing?你在做什么？Oh, my poetry!我那本诗集呀！Look at it, the table is not well balanced,你看看吧，这张桌常常移动的one book is not enough,垫了一本还不足够bring me two more please.你帮我去多拿两本来吧You lost.头门四九，SHA！You lost again.川门六五，SHA！I lost again?又再SHA吗？Why a bird is missing from my painting?我的「百鸟朝凰图」，何故没了个雀头？Cut the crap!做什么这般劳气啊I have lost a bird from my mahjong.人家遗失了那只一索So I cut the head to represent the lost one 于是剪了那雀头来用着先啰！No big deal!有什么出奇呢？You...你…Mom, what are you doing?娘亲，你在做什么呀？Mom wants to suicide!哎呀，奶奶吊颈呀！Go and take a look of her now...还不快点去看看她吧…Hold it, let's finish this game first.先开牌看一看！Watch mine, I am the winner.双天至尊通S！You jinx!这么邪呀！Money, please.赔钱呀！Mom, are you crazy?娘亲，你傻了吗？I am useless,娘亲没用I've married you to 8 wives,给你娶足八个老婆来服侍你but you aren't satisfied,你都不满足You always have a long face.整天愁眉苦面I think I have to kill myself我S了算了吧Why did you say so?娘亲何必这样讲呢？I didn't blame you!我何时有怨过你半句呢？Pak Fu, you are young and successful.伯虎，你正所谓年少有为，事业有成You are rich and you have so many wives,家财千万，妻妾成群You should be the happiest guy in the world. Right?你应该是世界上最开心的人啦嘛！I haven't said I am unhappy.我没说过我不开心喔So, why do you always have a long face?那为什么你整日黑口黑面？Don't you think your wives match you?是不是嫌几位家嫂配你不上啊？It's easy to get a wife but not easy to get the right one who understands me well. 娘亲你不明啦，千金易得，知己难求Although they are my wives,我和几位娘子虽有夫妻之名they don't really understand my mind.只可惜同床异梦！Don't you think we can't match you?那你即是嫌弃我们吗？We'd better suicide!我们不如S了算吧！What? 8 of you will be hanging together?哗！八个一起上吊How amazing!何其壮观呀！Help!救人呀…Daughters-in-law, are you alright?家嫂…你没事吧？Pak Fu, do you want them all to have suicide?伯虎，你是否要搞到SI横遍野Will you feel happy about that?XUE流成河才安乐呀？I don't mean...我都没说…Let me go, I want to die...放开我啦…我要S啦！Don't do that!你们不要这样啦！Mother-in-law, let us die.奶奶，你让我们去S啦！Pak Fu, can you say something?伯虎，你说句话好吗？Shut up! Listen to me!不要吵啦！It's my fault,是我的错！all of you are very nice.几位娘子贤良淑德，持家有道Cultured and civilized.知书识礼But I should have appreciated, it's my fault.是我不懂得欣赏Sorry, please forgive me.我对各位不起，请大家原谅我！I am so happy about that!你明白就最好啦Hubby, smile, come on.相公，笑一笑吧！Come on, smile.笑一笑嘛！Be happy.我要开心点的！Come on, smile.是啦，笑一笑嘛！Why don't you laugh happily?你看他笑得这么勉强的？You should Iaugh happily!是否不满意？！Come on, be happy.笑得开心一点嘛！笑啦笑啦Show us a happy look.是啦！Let's play...财财，两家好，八皮马，四同四，饮！Pak Fu, see, they always want you to be happy.伯虎，你看看她们多为你呀Don't misunderstand them again,以后你就不要辜负这几位家嫂got me?对你的一片苦心喇Madam, King Ning sends someone here to visit Young Master. 夫人，宁皇派人来要见少爷呀King Ning?宁皇？King Ning is planning a rebellion.宁皇现在正在图谋造反Doesn't he want to recruit you?他派人来…难道想招揽你？Anyway,管他的just ask them to leave. I don't want to see them.你随便的帮我打发他走就算了Madam, they...夫人，他们…Where is Tong Pak-Fu?唐伯虎呢？Our Majesty wants him to be his military consultant. 我们王爷想请他回去做参谋Ask him to come out now.快点叫他出来I am sorry,几位，真是不好意思my son is very sick, he can't receive you.小儿刚患重病，不能见客Please express our sincere thanks to His Majesty.宁皇的好意，心领了Please go back!几位请回吧What a coincidence!又会这么巧啊？！Those we want to recruit always get sick.为什么王爷要请的人都说生病了！But, it's been predicted by Our Majesty already.不过王爷早料有此一着He asked us to bring the doctor here叫我们带同御医来to check his sickness!让我们帮唐伯虎看病！Madam...夫人…Tong Pak-Fu.唐伯虎Isn't he sick?你刚说他病了的？He...he has been seriously sick!他…他是病的很厉害呀！But, how come a patient...病得厉害to have a good appetite to eat chicken wings?又怎么会有好胃口吃J翼呢？Yes, it's strange...Why?就是，为什么呀？It's simple, because...这很简单，因为…I love chicken wings.烧J翼，我钟意食But your mom says you are going to die.但是你老母说你就快要SThat's why he has to eat more before he dies.愈快要S就愈应该要吃多一只If he don't eat now, he will have no chance to eat. 如果现在不吃，以后没机会再吃Are you going to die?你真的就快要S？I am going to die.我真的就快要SIf I don't eat now, I will have no chance to eat.如果现在不吃，以后没机会再吃！But, he doesn't seem to be seriously sick.病得好像唐解元这么好面SE，都很少有喔Doctor, go to feel the pulse of Mr. Tong.御医，帮唐解元把把脉To see how serious is his sickness.看看他有几严重His pulse is normal.唐解元的脉象四平八稳I don't think he is sick!很正常呀，没有什么问题呀！How is he?他怎样呀？Can I be saved?还有得救吗？Let me try.试试啦What's wrong with him?他怎样呀？I haven't experienced such a messy pulse.我从来未听过这么乱的脉象What did you feel?你听到些什么呀？Music!将军令呀！What?什么？I think, you should have to prepare for your funeral. 我看你都是早点准备身后事吧See you, Mr. Tong.唐解元，我们告辞啦！We shouldn't have wasted our time...早知你是这样to recruit a dying man, let's go.就不要浪费我们的时间，我们走！Doctor, please save my...御医，你救救我…Bastard, kneeI down.衰仔，跪低Do you remember?你记不记得You took an oath in front of your dad's grave,你曾经在你S鬼老爸灵前发过誓you never show others to know your Kung-fu!说不会泄漏你识武功这个秘密Why have you shown Kung-fu just then?为什么今天又要破戒呢？I remember, but it was an emergency.我记得，但是刚才情势危急I just used my Kung-fu况且我只是用内功to change my pulse only, no big deal.改变了自己的脉象吧But, in case...不怕一万，只怕万一if our enemies discover that...一旦被唐家的仇人发现you are the successor of Tong's Family...你是霸王枪的传人you will be in danger.你即时有S身之祸的！Mom, who are our enemies?娘亲，我们唐家的仇人究竟是谁？Why don't you tell me?为什么你一直都不肯告诉我？I was afraid you'd look for trouble我以前不告诉你是因为你年少气盛since you were young.怕你自找麻烦But, you've grown up,但是现在你都已经长大I should tell you anyway.我亦不怕告诉你知We have 2 enemies.我们唐家是有两大仇人One is called "Evil Scholar".其中一个是夺M书生He fought with your dad当年他们二人for the ranking championship of weapon.为了争夺兵器谱上的排名，决定比武I was afraid he would play tricks,我恐防夺M书生会使出诡计暗算你爹So I stayed and watched over their duel.所以一直在场监视着他Let me trap you instead.让我来暗算你这个贱种夺M书生Brother Tinho, you will be the winner, don't worry. 相公，你赢定了，放心吧Higher than you.高过你！Go to hell.去S吧！What is it?什么来呀？Chussy.朱茜！Watch out.小心呀！Go to hell.S啦！Chussy, you...朱茜，你…Be careful!小心呀！No way! I have to use the last stance!不行啦，唯有用绝招啦！Go to hell.去S吧！Chussy,朱茜what the hell are you doing here?你究竟在这里来搅什么家伙啊？I...我…Be careful!小心呀！Don't go, you should tell me what you are doing here. 不要走呀！你说清楚在搞什么鬼呀！I love you, so I want to help you.我爱你，所以想帮你呀！Don't you think the red beans can help me?帮我什么？撒这些没有用的红豆It's not red beans,这些不是红豆！it's my new invention: Tiny Bombs!这是我新发明的暗器霹雳雷珠What? Tiny... what?霹什么雳什么雷什么呀？Don't look down on it,你不要小看它呀！it's really powerful when it blow.它爆炸起来威力无穷What? Powerful... what? It will blow?威什么力什么？会爆？Damn you, Chussy, do you want to play tricks?小喇叭，朱茜你是不是要玩S我呀？The Killing Sword Stance of the "Evil Scholar"?书生夺M剑？！In the most critical moment,就在这最危急的关头your dad attacked him...你阿爹突然使出世间上with the most horrible weapon in the world,最恐怖最吓人的独门暗器he changed the whole situation.将整个局面扭转了！Watch out.看暗器My Wonder Spear!霸王回马枪Where is the spearhead?没枪头的？Why?怎么会这样？That's why dad died in great sorrow.难怪阿爹最后都郁郁而终He couldn't imagine你阿爹想不到夺M书生Evil Scholar could break the steel-made spearhead.连精钢制造的枪头都可以打断Before his death,所以他在临S的时候he made an invincible spearhead!就特别制造了这个坚硬无比的寒铁枪头It was because he worried that "Evil Scholar" would kill our whole family. 以防夺M书生赶尽S绝How about another enemy?但是你说我们有两大仇家Who is the next one?另一个是谁呢？She was your dad's girlfriend, she fought with me for your dad.另外一个就是当年跟我争你阿爹的情敌But she married later.不过她已经嫁人了I don't think you will meet her again.看来都没什么机会再撞到的啦Get lost, don't bother me to have gambling.让开啦，不要阻着我们发达呀！Mom, I want to leave home for few days.娘亲，这几日我想离家出外几日I will seek shelter.暂避风头I am afraid the people from King Ning will come to bother us again.因为我怕宁皇会再派人来找我麻烦You should bring along the invincible spearhead with you最紧要带着这支寒铁枪头for your safety.以防万一呀Bear in mind!记着呀！Let's e on.开局呀…开大细呀！来呀！Since your dad lost in the duel,由于当年你阿爹打输了Now, on the rank of weapon,所以当今兵器谱上面the Killing Sword of Evil Scholar is the 1st runner-up.书生夺M剑排行第二Our Tong's Spear is the 2nd runner-up.我们霸王枪排行第三Siu Lee's Dagger is the 3rd runner-up.小李飞刀紧随第四Move!把脚缩开啦Who is the champion?那排名第一的是谁呢？The mom of Dagger Siu lee,那就是小李飞刀的娘亲but she passed away.可惜已经过身了Oh, what a pity!原来就是小李老母飞刀，真可惜！Cut the crap, why not play with me?聊那么多干嘛？来猜两拳先啦！Choi Choi, bingo, make it six.财财呀，一定中，你的帽Drink it.喝呀！You are too poor to compete with me.你真没用！走开啦- Get lost! - I wanna play with mother-in-law. 走…我跟奶奶猜Choi Choi, make it three, why not nine...财财，三叉仔…You lost, drink it.奶奶，你输了呀，喝啦I won't scare.喝就喝I am so miserable.我的心又悲，我的心又痛My wives are abnormal housewives.八个老婆都恶搞一通But others envy me so much.人家当我享尽齐人福In fact, I am lonely.其实空虚寂寞兼且冻，兼且冻Look, the "Four Scholars" are over there.你们看！江南四大才子在那边呀！Go and have a look, hurry up...快点过去看看，快点啦…You can never escape.想走？！飞不出我的五指山！Brother Pak Fu, there is a crowd of people. 伯虎兄，很多人呀！We come here for a tour,今天我们江南四大才子来到游山玩水that's why the girls are that crazy.难怪那些女子如此疯狂了！That's why!难怪难怪Pals,各位各位why not have a poem competition?今天大家如此高兴，不如吟首诗哩！Very good idea!征明兄提议的好Why don't you start first? Brother Man-bun.文斌兄你先来哩？I am the best in this field.强项啦"There are many geese under the mountain."「山下一群鹅」"They rushed down to the river."「嘘声赶落河」"Let's roast a goose."「落河捉鹅医肚饿」"After roasting, you'd better go home for a screw."「食完回家玩老婆」Good, very good.好句好句Very good!绝句绝句Isn't it that funny?真的那么好笑？I wonder, why is he always so enjoy when he is in a trip? 点解唐兄每次出游都那么豪情奔放呢？！I envy him so much.乐极忘形，实在令人羡慕羡慕Be frank,讲开又讲啦！he is the best in writing poems among the "Four Scholars". 在江南论文章，唐兄才高八斗And he is an excellent artist.论丹青，妙笔生花He is really a great genius!这是真真正正的驾势堂呀！Right! I envy him his talent for music.没错，更令人羡慕的就是He is very good in playing musical instruments.他在音律方面都有很高造诣That's right, I know playing...那倒是，古今中外各种乐器all kinds of musical instruments.我那样不玩得出神入化呀？！Recently I have studied a new kind of western music, 最近我还研究了一种西洋敲击乐器it's great!很得的Let's play it together if we've a chance.有机会可以跟大家一齐研究一吓Sure.一定一定But I envy you...依我说唐兄最令人羡慕之处because of your wives.莫过于艳福啦Everybody knows your eight wives...人人都知唐兄家中are so pretty.有八位夫人个个貌美如花，国SE天香I don't think you will have any regrets in your life.做人能像你这样，夫复何求呢？！I envy you so much.羡煞旁人呀Bravo...利害，利害There is something attractive.似乎有好囡看See, there is a beauty on the bridge.唐兄你看一看桥头上She seems to be lonely.有个婀娜多姿的美女，只影形单Why not show us your talent about how to court a girl. 不如这样，你即场示范一下你的泡妞大法To let us learn from you!给兄弟学习学习哩？Well...这个嘛？It's the welfare for your friends, so?事关大家的福利，没问题吧？I am glad to demonstrate it.义不容辞啦Go.去啦！Miss.小姐What's the matter?什么事呀？公子？Go, go...上！上！May I put my head on your shoulder?没什么！我想借小姐的肩膊搭一下Is it OK?不知有没有问题呢？No,这怎可以呀？I am a girl, a decent girl.我是一个黄花闺女来嘛！I know, I want to make my friends happy, that's all. 我知！我只是想应酬一下朋友罢了In fact, I am Tong Pak-Fu.其实在下正是唐伯虎So what?唐什么伯什么虎什么呀？I don't know you.我都不认识你I will shout for help if you don't leave me alone.你再不走我可要叫啦How about paying you I tael?这样吧，我给你一两银做做样哩？！Who do you think I am?一两银子？你当我是什么？Make it ten.起码都十两啦！That's too expensive, why don't you rob?你都要十两？不如去抢？！Right, I am robber.不错，就是抢Give me all your money.后生仔，拿钱来！Go to hell.S啦！Punch you!打你！What's wrong?搞什么鬼？No need to punch her like that?不用这么重手呀？Robber! It's a ladyboy!抢钱呀，这个S人妖！Ladyboy?人妖？I love it. Hold it.我喜欢喔！拿着！Damn it. He is being the first to!真可惜！被他抢先一步呀！Look, so many people!你看，好多人呀！Yes, it's crowded.是呀，好热闹呀！Chung-heung, Ha-heung, shut up,春香，夏香，吵什么呀？behave yourselves.不要失礼呀！What's going on?什么事咁多人呀？Madam Wah and her 4 pretty maids have come for worshipping. 今天华太夫人带同婢女四香入庙进香呀！The maids are all pretty,听说个个都如天仙下凡especially Chou-heung.尤其是秋香最靓女喔！Who is she? Who is Chou-heung?哪个呀？哪个是呀？Look! That way.呢…那边呀！Chou-heung.秋香！Damn, she is not pretty at all.车！这很普通喔！You know,又不是嘛伯虎兄pretty woman is like flowers.要知道美女这东西跟鲜花一样You'll be all eyes for its beauty if some leaves are around.需要有绿叶的衬托才会显出娇美喔Look once more.多看一次吧！Pretty woman!美女Woo, she is really pretty!这么再看她真是美得利害喔！Let's go in the temple together.我们一起入庙To look for fun!找着数啦吧！You will be our leader!看你啦！Follow me.强项啦！Give me...给我，给我吃…Make way... go that way!走开点呀…走过去！Let's use of any chance to take their advantage. 稍后一有机会，就涌过去大肆搜掠一番啦Sure.一定啦！Give the beggars some bread.施舍一点给乞儿吃啦Yes, Madam.是，夫人Yes, Madam.是，夫人Give it to me.有吃的了…给我…Go.上Go!涌呀！Be merciful!施舍一下啦I want any kind of bread. Come on.什么包都要呀！来…拿来It's yours, everyone will get his share.你的…大家都有份…Don't fight for it. It's yours.不要争啦I haven't eaten for a long time,我很久都没吃过东西please give me some bread.求你给我个包啦Auntie, this is for you.大婶，这个你的Help! I am damn hungry!救M呀，很肚饿呀Are you hungry? Eat this.你肚饿呀？那你先吃啦！What? One is not enough?怎么了？一个不够呀？One more for you.多给你一个吧！Come over, here are some bread!你们过来吧，这边还有呀！Be good, come on, eat this.乖，来，吃吧I've got it,原来当今世上最美丽的笑容the most pretty smile is the smile with love.就是充满爱心的笑容I have found my dream lover.天啊，我已经找到我的理想She is Chou-heung.她就是秋香Miss, are you coming to worship God?咦，小姐，拜神呀？It's good to worship God, so you will be blessed. 好的，拜得神多自有神庇佑呀Let me do it for you.让我来To worship God...求神…"It's prohibited to speak loudly in the temple." 「寺内严禁喧哗」Pal, chase the ship of Madam Wah.兄弟，立即帮我追一下华府的官船Fine!好的Be careful...小心…小心…Sir, you are wise公子，你真是识货啦to choose my ship.那么多船不选就选中了我这艘船My ship is the most speedy one.我是出了名的快Really?是吗？Hey, your ship is sinking.喂，你的船在下沉呀Yes! It's speedy to sink as I said before.是呀！沉得快嘛What's wrong?你搞什么呀？！I am in a hurry!我在赶时间呀，大哥！I think you are chasing Chou-heung.看你那个样子，一定是追秋香姐哩？！How do you know that?你又知道？I have seen many rich guys of your kind before. 你这种富家公子年中见不少啦But it's useless不过只是在华府门口to court her outside Wah's house.转来转去沾不到便宜的！What good idea will you suggest?那你有什么好招呢？You should go and work inside Wah's house. 要想办法混进华府才行嘛！Suggest some idea to me please.那你就教我一两招吧！No problem. It depends on your offer.招不是没有，看你懂不懂啦Alright. I will follow your advice.一切都听大哥的话啦Listen to me...那你听住啦！You can't move no matter what happens! OK? 我稍后便开档，等一下打S你都不能动！You said you would pay me!你说将卖得的钱都全给我Don't cheat me!你不要赖皮呀！How can I cheat a wise guy like you?以你的智慧，那里有人骗到你呀？That's right.那也是Cheap man!明益街坊呀A brand new cheap man for sale.全新第一手好靓的孝子大平卖呀！Come and have a look!不买也来看看啦！I'm so poor!我很惨呀…Are you selling yourself to bury your dad?哥仔你大清早在这MAI身ZANG父But it's not lucky to see a dead body early in the morning. 太不吉利了吧？I don't want too.我都不想呀！You look familiar,点解你看来好面善嘅？where did I see you before?我们在哪儿见过呀！Really?是吗？It doesn't matter, let's make friends now.所谓相逢何必曾相识呢？Why don't you be merciful, buy me please.不如两位姐姐，可怜一下我吧…What a pity?真是惨啰We need a workman indeed, why not...横竖我们正缺个下人，不如就…I am poor, I want to sell myself to bury my whole family! 我好惨呀，MAI身ZANG全家！Kidding?!不是吧？Be merciful,两位姑娘你们可怜一下我吧my family died last night.我全家六口一晚S光I am sick with tuberculosis too, why not buy me?我身染十级肺痨May be, I'll cut half price!半卖半送，你买我啦！He is miserable,石榴，看他真是惨很多呀why not buy him to be our workman?不如都是买他返华府吧啦！So, buy him.那就买他吧！Lady, first come first serve, I come first.姐姐，我先来的喔！It's not a matter of priority.这不是先后的问题嘛！He has to bury his whole family对呀，人家家里S了六个and you have to bury your dad only.你家才S了一个I do want to help you, but it's difficult for me to buy two. 我都很想帮你，但是我很难做嘛But, I am miserable too.但是我都很惨的喔Then show me how miserable you are.那你有什么惨事，你说出来呀Well, I...我…See how dirty are my fingernails?你看我几天没有剪指甲It's miserable, right?难道这还不够惨吗？Wong Choi, don't die! Don't die.旺财…旺财，你不要S呀！旺财…You have followed me for a long time,你跟了我这么久you're so good to me.对我有情有义肝胆相照But I have never given you sufficient food.可是大哥我连餐饱饭都没让你吃过I am damn sorry.我对不起你呀！Watch out!小心呀！Siu Keung, how are you?小强！小强你怎么呀？小强？Don't die, Siu Keung, don't die.小强，你不要S呀，小强We have suffered for such a long time,我跟你相依为M，同甘共苦了这么多年I treated you as my relative.已经当你是我亲生骨肉般供书教学How can you leave me like this...想不到今天白发人送黑发人呀…Sister Chou-heung, they are both miserable,秋香姐，他们两个都这么惨what'll we do?怎么办？Let's wait and see.看定先再说啦。
唐伯虎点秋香_英语短剧_搞笑8人表演
文征明：I heard the Qiuxiang is very beautiful. Height 165 cm. look at me ,this is the picture I draw for her. 徐祯卿：I also give her a picture! 祝枝山：Really ,here is mine. 唐伯虎：Maybe ….. 唐伯虎：Why don’t we have a competition! Who can find Qiuxiang first! 祝枝山：Ok ,let’s go!
文征明：Qiuxiang is too horrible (可怕)! 祝枝山：You are right !let’s go home! Home is safe! 徐祯卿：Bohu brother will have a hard time !
如花：I am not Qiuxiang ----the girl you find! 唐伯虎：Thanks to tell me the turth! 如花：Now I’ll take you to Qiuxiang! (坏 笑) 唐伯虎;Thank you! Thank you very much!
唐伯虎：This is our new school, how wonderful it is.
祝枝山：How can see? 唐伯虎：There are so many beautiful girls, especially of engineering‘s department of biology(生物工程)。 文征明：My spring is coming. 徐帧卿：Xinxiang’ bad weather, saying a year two wind, a half a year. 祝枝山：Right, like summer hot day, the day before yesterday I went to Internet cafes in t-shirts, unexpectedly hail the next day. 唐伯虎：It’s nothing. Tomorrow is holiday for the May Day .we should go out for sightseeing. 祝枝山：ok，good idea。
小品剧本——唐伯虎点秋香[1]
![小品剧本——唐伯虎点秋香[1]](https://img.taocdn.com/s3/m/885d1ce1856a561252d36f86.png)
唐伯虎点秋香第一幕唐：桃花坞里桃花庵，桃花庵里桃花仙，桃花仙人种桃树，又摘桃花换酒钱……强：好诗唐：我就是神武英明，盖世无双，神见神爱，人见人happy，花见花开，车见车爆胎的唐…伯虎！我…不仅谈吐优雅，而且品种优良，（停顿）堪称海安的——强：盒饭唐：嗯～～？（瞪眼）强：模范！唐：嗯～～？强：如果说俺们少爷有才他得受罚的话，那他可就得千刀万剐呀～唐（瞪眼）：哎～呀你看你这话说得……强：如果说俺们少爷帅～唐：我帅故我在（姿势）强：那是造孽的话唐：嗯～～（作打人状）强：天打雷劈呀！唐：嗯？你小子说啥玩意儿呢，找削啊！强：少爷息怒息怒，你看，八卦上说您今儿个有桃花运唐：我哪天没桃花运啊（强嘻笑）你小子别瞎说，再瞎说以后不出来带你玩儿了（下场）第二幕旁白：一天，唐伯虎邂逅了绝代佳人——秋香同志。
那时候，秋香同志正赶在上班的路上～途中遇到两个劫匪秋：人在职场飘，哪能睡懒觉，哎呀，没想到又起晚了，我得赶紧啊不然得迟到啦。
（A、B上场）A：此树是我开～B：此路是我栽～A：要想过此路～B：留下money来！A：打……B：……劫！A：有钱没？秋：要多少钱啊？A：两块，一人俩包子。
秋：没两块，只有五块的。
A：（抢）拿来吧，（对B）找她三块钱。
B：大哥，咱们就剩三块了啊A：给她，别废话。
秋：钱也给你们了可以放我走了吧。
A：诶呀，姑娘长得挺漂亮啊！我先劫个色唐：菊花点穴手！！（B停住）A：你等着，我去喊人唐：跑啊，跑啊。
你有刘翔跑的快吗？（动作，A停住），就是你们不听NEWS,不听广播，也该知道，党教育我们：以团结互助为荣，以损人利己为耻，以遵纪守法为荣，以违法乱纪为耻。
我最瞧不起你这种抢女生钱的人了，抢了多少？B：两……两块唐：真是悲哀呀，连女生的东西也抢，不怕天打五雷轰啊（作打B状，B害怕的眼神，躲）哎，等会儿，等会儿，你这褪咋瘸的，被谁忽悠瘸的？强：看这样是被本山忽悠瘸的。
唐：那你说你瘸了就老实在家待着呗，是不是，还出来走什么江湖啊，你万一被哪个警犬哭次一下(动作)，把那条腿也咬瘸了，你说你可咋整啊！我都替你愁~~~还有你，你瞅你大冷天穿这么点！跟衣服挂似的，我跟你说啊，难道你就是传说中的爱斯基摩人？？就算你不考虑考虑你自己，是不是也得考虑考虑你那一大家子企鹅呢。
英语话剧--唐伯虎点秋香
Act 2地点：A river side, on the street人物：江南四大才子，如花，一女子，围观者，四香，石榴，华夫人，丑婢女道具：4扇子，丝巾，伞，小刀，2凳子，背景音乐旁白：第二幕，江南四大才子结伴出游，众女子兴奋观看。
一女子：Look, the 'Four Scholars' are over there.（四大才子摆pose，众女子倾倒）一女子：Go and have a look,祝枝山：We come here for a tour.That’s why t he girls are that crazy.文征明：Pals, why not has a poem competition?祝：Very good idea!Why don't you start first? Brother Wen bin.周文斌：l am the best in this field.'There are many geese under the mountain.'文征明：'They rushed down to the river.'祝：'Let's roast a goose.'唐：'After roasting, you'd better go home for a screw.'三人：Good, very good. Very good!（三人笑，唐伯虎逛笑）祝：There is something attractive.See, there is a beauty on the bridge. She seems to be lonely.Why not show us your talent about how to court a girl.To let us learn from you!唐：Well...周文斌：lt's the welfare for your friends, so?唐：l am glad to demonstrate it.三人：Go.唐：Miss.如花：What's the matter? （一回头，竟是如花！）三人：Go, go...唐：May l put my head on your shoulder?如花：ls it OK? No, l am a girl, a decent girl.唐：l know, l want to make my friends happy, that's all.ln fact, l am Tong Pak-Fu.如花：So what?l don't know you.l will shout for help if you don't leave me alone.唐：How about paying you 1 tael?如花：1 tael? Who do you think l a.m.?Make it ten.唐：That's too expensive, why don't you rob?如花：Right, l am robber.Give me all your money.（两人乱打，最后如花被唐伯虎打落河中）三人：What's wrong? （赶到桥上）What’s the matter?文征明：No need to punch her like that?唐：Robber! lt's a ladyboy!三人：Ladyboy?祝：l love it. Hold it. （祝枝山将折扇递给文斌，跳入河中）文征明：Damn it. He is being the first to!（华夫人带众人去拜神）春香：Look, so many people!夏香：Yes, it's crowded.华夫人：Chun-xiang, Xia-xiang, shut up,四大才子：Heave yourselves.What's going on?某人：Madam Hua and her 4 pretty maids have come for worshipping.周文斌：The maids are all pretty, especially Qiu-xiang.唐：Who is she? Who is Qiu-xiang?文斌,征明：Look! That way.三人：Qiu-xiang.（秋香回首一笑）唐：Damn, she is not pretty at all.周文斌：You know, pretty woman is like flowers.You'll be all eyes for its beauty if some leaves are around.Look once more.三人：Pretty woman!（一整排回首，旁人皆成丑女衬托）唐：Woo, she is really pretty!Let's go in the temple together.To look for fun!Act 3地点：West Gate of Hua’s house人物：唐伯虎，秋香，石榴，惨人，假死人道具：“旺财”，1手帕，“小强”，2卖身牌，1棍子，4凳子，银两旁白：第三幕，华府西门口。
元旦晚会小品唐伯虎点秋香剧本
元旦晚会小品唐伯虎点秋香剧本第一篇：元旦晚会小品唐伯虎点秋香剧本元旦晚会小品剧本《唐伯虎点秋香》人物：唐伯虎（说话声音温柔），秋香，秋香母（高大的男生反串，学女人腔），旁白，配乐（自己会吹笛子，最好还会弹吉他），一个观众托儿，儿童甲，儿童乙，唐伯虎跟班（男生，东北口音））（配乐先上场，用笛子吹奏《myheartwillgoon》，吹完前奏后，旁白上场，边吹，旁白边说）旁白：亲爱的观众－朋友们，你可曾听过那凄美感人，浪漫柔情，令人心旷神怡，怎么听都听不够的唐伯虎点秋香的故事？什么，你们听过？（面向观众，带吃惊的表情，音乐停，接着按原来平和语调说，音乐起）那就对了，你们以前听的都是经过人工修饰的，我这回给你们讲一个原汁原味的不经过任何雕琢的唐伯虎点秋香的故事。
故事发生在距今好几百年以前，有个通过全村人民举手表决产生的江南四大才子之首，唐伯虎同志。
（下，用手引上唐伯虎）（唐和跟班上）唐：（摇扇而上）桃花坞里桃花庵，桃花庵里桃花仙；桃花仙人种桃树，又摘桃花换酒钱。
酒醒只在花前坐，酒醉还来花下眠；半醉半醒日复日，花开花落年复年。
我就是神武英名盖世无双，人见人爱，花见花开，车见车爆胎，智慧与美貌并重，英雄与侠义的化身，唐伯虎。
我不仅谈吐风雅，而且品质优良，堪称新时代的……跟班：米饭。
唐：嗯？跟班：哦，不，模范。
嘿嘿，（一下唐伯虎听到前半句的时候都很高兴，听到后半句的时候都很气愤）如果说俺们少爷有才那得受罚的话呢，那他可就得千刀万刮啊；如果说俺们少爷有德那是犯罪的话呢，那他可就是罪恶滔天啊；如果说俺们少爷帅那是造孽的话呢，那他可就是得天打雷劈啊。
唐：你小子还敢说，我揍你。
跟班：嘿嘿，爷，皇历上说你今天有桃花运？唐：你小子扯啥玩意儿，怎么能说我今天有桃花运呢？你说我哪天没桃花运啊？（下）旁白：一天，唐伯虎邂逅了绝代佳人秋香同志，那时候，秋香刚替老夫人从超市发买东西回来，途中路遇一甲一乙两个儿童拦路抢劫。
（秋香手拿一大包卷纸上，儿童甲乙从另一侧上，甲戴着向后的帽子，乙手里拄单拐）甲，乙：呔，此树是我栽，此路是我开，要想从此过，留下买路财！秋香：那小女子把东西给你们，你们就放我走么？（秋香把东西给甲、乙）（乙刚欲走，甲拉住乙）甲：等……等会儿，我……我要先劫……劫个色。
英语剧本：三顾茅庐
Three visits to the cottage————By FRIENDSThree visits to the cottage（中文名三顾茅庐）is a story from one of the Four Great classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms. ZhuGeliang is one of the main characters in the original. Also, he is an outstanding militarist, politician and the symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history. Another main actors——Liubei, who visited ZhuGeliang's thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to be his military adviser. Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity, helped the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom. He devoted his whole life to the cause and died in harness.Our script is revised from this story and writed by my classmates of group FRIENDS. In this play, we add many modern and funny elements. For example, there are some spoken lines and actions which were copied from some classical movies like Infernal Affairs(中文名无间道), My Own Swordsman（中文名武林外传）,The Flirting Scholar（中文名唐伯虎点秋香）were combined in our play. Also, we added some interesting pictures and audio to our slide.Maybe there are some mistakes in our dialogue. But this play is the result of painstaking efforts of our group. So we present our script to you and wish you will like it.Three visits to the cottageAside: After their swearing brotherhood to heaven and earth in a peach garden, the three persons——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei-had to be janitors in Caocao's corporation to make a living for they could not find jobs. Meanwhile the legendary and mysterious character ZhuGeliang who had been forced to attend CET-6 test by his wife was reviewing examination contents. SCENE 1: Liubei's homeActors: Liubei Guanyu ZhangfeiGuanyu: Brother! We three have been hungry for days and when will this tragic life end? It's so terrible!Liubei: Yu, it's impossible that I don't feel painful, isn't it? But as the proverb says it is hard to sit in Rome and strive against the Pope. Now we come down to Caocao's corporation as gatekeeper, anyhow we can fill our stomachs between whiles. It's very hard to get work now. No diplomas and no job offers, what are you dreaming about?Zhangfei: Oh, Brother! ZhuGeliang's wife borrowed us 500yuan to cope with his husband’s CET-6 fees last month, it seems that it's time for us to be debt collectors now.Guanyu: Yeah, Brother! Or we'll be as poor as church mouse.Liubei: Alas! How did I forget this? Let's go! Go~~ go~! Hurry up! Follow me and go to the mountain for dunning!Aside: And then the three brothers climb the mountain to find ZhuGeliang.SCENE 2: ZhuGeliang’s houseActors: ZhuGeliang WifeZhuGeliang: Good morning! I am the genius ZhuGeliang. But I feel so morose recently. Because my wife forced me to pass the CET-6. What’s CET-6? Do you know? You?(Ask the audience) I’ve never heart about that. And she obliged me to read so heavy books and do so many texts. It’s ridiculous. My major is military advice, not English. Why should I read this?Wife: Darling!ZhuGeliang：My wife is coming，she is so long-winded that I can never bear her.Wife：My dear, how about your study?ZhuGeliang：These books make me want to doze. I’m dizzy.Wife：Darling! Now, competition is so serious. If you can’t pass cet6 to get your master’s degree, it is difficult to find a job. I have stayed here for half of a lifetime. But never visit a bigger place like Yangling.ZhuGeliang：Don’t worry, these books are too easy for your husband and don’t need to learn. Wife：Are you sure? let me have a test to you. Listen，read and see!ZhuGeliang：A piece of cake!Wife：Listen, can you spell apple? Desk?ZhuGeliang: Sorry I can’t.Wife：You can’t? Oh, how unfortunate I am! (crying) I'm wrong, I'm really wrong, I'm wrong from the beginning. I shouldn't marry here. If I didn’t marry here, I'll never in this heartrending place now,ZhuGeliang：Don’t cry, don’t cry, stop! I ‘m going to study hard at once.Wife (laugh): That's the spirit! Do you know? We are in the red for your Cet6. I even borrowed money from the gate keeper. What can I do when they dun for debts.ZhuGeliang: Are you pointing to that gatekeeper Liubei?Wife: Oh! Yes! Come on quickly! Boy!Keeper: What is the matter? Madam?Wife: Listen carefully! My husband is too busy doing his homework to welcome any people, so you will tell the people who calls on him that boss has went to study in England. .Keeper: Yes! Madam!Aside: While it is going on, liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have came to the gate of ZhuGeliang’s house.SCENE3 Outside ZhuGeliang’s houseActors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei KeeperZhangfei: Let me strike the door! Open! Open!!!Keeper: (Check from the peep hole) Are these men asking for the debt? (Open the door) Liubei: This is liubei! We are calling on ZhuGeliang and his wife.Keeper: Zhu said he is not in.Liubei: En????Keeper: Oh! No!...I mean …I mean my boss is studying English in England for the exam of CET-6,and he may not be come back this month.Liubei: OK! We are waiting for him here!Guanyu: Nobody knows that when he will come back, thus, let’s go home!Aside: The three men went away with disappointed. After a month, the deeply autumn came! They came here at the second time. Unfortunately, they didn’t see Zhugeliang again. Two month passed, the cold winter is coming! It is heavy snow and very cold outsides. ZhuGeliang knows the reason that why they come here three times, and orders the keeper to let them come in whiles his wife is outside.SCENE4 Outside ZhuGeliang’s houseActors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei KeeperZhangfei: Please tell me in time when you would see him next time, let me bind him up for you. It really should not trouble you to come here time and time again.Liubei: These days, the borrower is the god! Let’s go there again and show our the warmest heart to move them.(Knock the door)Keeper：My boss is at home today, but he is reading books about CET-6. Please wait for a moment!Zhangfei：Xiao Zhu! Come out! Brothers, help me to take care of my seventh uncle and his third niece. Get out, or I will burn your house down!Guanyu: Sunflower press! AI. Litter brother, big brother has said several times, We are intellectuals, understand? Don't be so rude, we are here for debt, not for his life. If you will kill him, where is our money?Liubei: The submortagage crisis is so serious, don’t y ou know that simple reason? If you know, please bat your eyes!Zhangfei (Bat eyes)Guanyu: sunflower press!!!!!Zhangfei: Where did you get this KongFu?Guanyu: Hehe! I get it from a TV program called “My Own Swordsman”, which is so popular with lots of people in China!Zhangfei: Why not say it earlier? We three brother could run a company of Chinese KongFu if we had know that before!Guanyu: Oh!! That is a good idea!!!!Keeper: Don’t interrupt!!!! Boss is reading!!!Liubei: Keep quite!!!Aside: at this time, zhugeliang is exciting, but his wife come back soon.SCENE 5: ZhuGeliang’s HomeActors: ZhuGeliang wife liubei Zhangfei GuanyuZhuGeliang: Thank goodness, here's Liubei at last. Ha ha ha ……….Wife: Wof! Darling! He may come here to ask me to rep ay his money. We can’t let him in. ZhuGeliang: My darling, please don’t worry. I can make liubei go back with nothing by my sliver tongue.Liubei: Mr. ZhuGeliang. I have hunted you for a long time!Zhu: Oh! You are Liubei. What can I do for you ?Liu: my brother, you have borrowed me $500, when you repay it for me? I have starved for several days.ZhuGeliang: I owe you $500? who can testify? Please give me a chance, I want to be an honest man.Liubei: How can I give you a chance? Speak it to the judge.Zhu: Please look, although having ambition , you are just a guarder .We can enlarge our power from this base, and then attack Caocao. At last I believe that we can reign the whole country. Liubei: I’m so surprised! I don’t know you are so ideal.ZhuGeliang: If I give you a map, could I not repay your money?Liubei: En…….you know so much about affairs, are you willing to create a new country together with us?ZhuGeliang: But I can’t help you, I have accustom the life at present.Liubei: If you don’t help me , the citizen will live a harder life , please don’t refuse. ZhuGeliang: En……sorry, I can’t. Because my wife forces me to pass the CET-6 recently. If you can help me to resolve the problem, I will help you.Liu: En…..Zhangfei: (Pull) Brother, come here. Everything is fake now such as the milk. Why can’t we find somebody help us do the test or buy a key ?Guanyu: Yes! We can overdraft our salary from Caocao to buy the key at first.SCENE 6: ZhuGeliang’s HomeActors: Wife KeeperAside: Because the salary has been given to zhugeliang to buy the key, Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have been starving for one month.Keeper：（Happy）Sir , you are really a god . CET6 has got 600 scores. Be really to startle the universe and move the gods.Wife：What happened? 600 scores? Oh! Do not shoulder your several years studying at a cold window; Do not shoulder my night holding candle accompanying you. After your Master graduates, happy life will approach. Cars, house, money!SCENE 7: Outside ZhuGeliang’s houseAside: After receiving the master degree, ZhuGeliang will go to work with Liubei to establish a new Kingdom.So the couples apart.Actors: ZhuGeliang Wife Liubei Guanyu ZhangfeiWife：Honey!ZhuGeliang：Darling!Wife：Excellent man have a long-range ambition. You should put cause above everything else , are sure not to miss me.ZhuGeliang：I will have a long journey .Please take care of yourself.(Turn around) Don’t worried, never miss you!!(Run)ZhuGeliang：(To Liubei)Your Majesty, I will never forget your favour. I should be loyal and devoted to the last.Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei: Let' go!!!!!Aside: The three men go down to the hill. That is the end of the whole story. Thank you for your attention.本文来自: 教客网剧本大全(/xiaopin/index.html) 详细出处参考：/xiaopin/xiaopin_269965.html。
唐伯虎点秋香英文剧本改编版
Flirting Scholar〔唐伯虎点秋香〕Act 1地点：A river side, on the street人物：两女子、四大才子、如花、华夫人、四香、两家丁、两狗仔队迈克尔杰克逊音乐响起，四大才子身着西装，舞蹈上场。
舞蹈完毕：一女子：Go and have a look.(两女子小跑到四大才子斜侧痴情的看着〕四大才子：Ladys and gentlemen,we are the 'Four Scholars' .〔从左到右：祝掐腰叼烟样，文抱手样，唐扇子遮脸坏笑样，周拿枪耍酷样，众女子倾倒〕祝枝山：〔从后背掏出扇子〕We come here for a tour.That’s why thegirls are thatcrazy.文征明：Pals,why not has a poem competition?〔走出来邀请三人〕祝：Very good idea!Why don't you start first? Brother Wen bin.〔做请他人样〕周文斌：l am the best in this field.'There are many geese under the mountain.'〔顺手指河〕文征明：'They rushed down to the river.'〔顺手指河〕祝：'Let's roast a goose.'〔顺手指河〕唐：'After roasting, you'd better go home for a screw.'三人：Good, very good. Very good!〔三人笑，唐伯虎逛笑〕祝：There is something attractive.See, there is a beauty on the bridge.〔指向原不远处，泰坦尼克号音乐响起，如花缓缓走过〕She seems to be lonely.Why not show us your talent about how to court a girl.To let us learn from you!唐：Well...周文斌：lt's the welfare for your friends, so?唐：l am glad to demonstrate it.三人：Go.唐：Miss.如花：What's the matter?〔一回头，竟是如花！唐伯虎吃惊样并伴随呕吐感，苦笑回头看其他三人〕三人：Go, go...唐：May l put my head on your shoulder?如花：ls it OK?No,l am a girl, a decent girl.〔大惊小怪的说出〕唐：l know, l want to make my friends happy, that's all.ln fact,l am Tong Pak-Fu.〔正经样〕如花：So what?l don't know you.l will shout for help if you don't leaveme alone.唐：How about paying you 1 tael?〔掏出一块钱〕如花： 1 tael?Who do you think l a.m.?Make it ten.〔伸手不屑样〕唐：That's too expensive, why don't you rob?如花：Right, l am robber.Give me all your money.〔两人乱打，最后如花被唐伯虎打落河中〕三人：What's wrong?〔赶到桥上〕What’s the matter?文征明：No need to punch her like that?唐：Robber! lt's a ladyboy!三人：Ladyboy?祝：l love it. Hold it.〔眼睛往上挑一下，祝枝山将折扇递给文斌，跳入河中〕文征明：Damn it. He is being the first to!〔华夫人带众人去拜神〕春香：Look, so many people!〔四香排队而出〕夏香：Yes, it's crowded.〔春夏香左顾右盼，其后再跟两个男家丁身着西装戴墨镜〕华夫人：Chun-xiang, Xia-xiang, shut up.唐：Heave yourselves.What's going on?文征明：Madam Hua and her 4 pretty maids have come for worshipping.〔用头指向华，狗仔队两人上拍照〕周文斌：The maids are all pretty,especially Qiu-xiang.唐：Who is she? Who is Qiu-xiang?文斌,征明：Look! That way.三人：Qiu-xiang.〔秋香回首一笑〕唐：Damn, she is not pretty at all.周文斌：You know,pretty woman is like flowers.You'll be all eyes forits beauty if some leaves are around.Look once more.三人：Pretty woman!〔其他三香回首皆成丑女衬托〕唐：Woo, she is really pretty!Let's go in the temple together.To look for fun!〔醉样〕Act 2地点：West Gate of Hua’s house人物：唐伯虎、春香、惨人、秋香唐：Cheap man!A brand new cheap man for e and have a look!I’m so poor!〔身挂一小招牌，哭喊状〕〔春香和秋香出门〕春香：Are you selling yourself to bury your dad?But it's not lucky to see a dead body early in the morning.(嫌弃样〕唐：l don't want, too.Why don't you be merciful, buy me please.春香：What a pity?We need a workman indeed, why not...〔这时又来了一个人，身挂一大招牌，这人还口吐血，极其悲惨〕惨人：l am poor, l want to sell myself to bury my whole family!唐：Kidding?!惨人：Be merciful,my family died last night.l am sick with tuberculosis too, why not buy me?May be, I’ll cut half price!〔伸手乞求样〕秋香：He is miserable;why not buy him to be our workman?春香：〔哭〕So, buy him.唐：Lady, first come first serve, l come first.秋香：lt's not a matter of priority.春香：Leave It to me. He has to bury his whole family and you have to bury your dad only.l do want to help you, but it's difficult for me to buy two.唐：But, l am miserable too.〔哭〕春香：Then show me how miserable you are.唐：Well, l...See how dirty are my fingernails?lt's miserable, right?惨人：〔惨人从背后掏出一只狗〕〔痛哭〕Wong Cai, don't die! Don't die.You have followed me for a long time,you're so good to me.But lhave never given you sufficient food.l am damn sorry.唐：〔唐伯虎看见一只蟑螂〕Watch out!〔春香一退，将蟑螂踩死了。
英语版话剧剧本三顾茅庐
Three visits to the cottage————By FRIENDSThree visits to the cottage（中文名三顾茅庐）is a story from one of the Four Great classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms. ZhuGeliang is one of the main characters in the original. Also, he is an outstanding militarist, politician and the symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history. Another main actors——Liubei, who visited ZhuGeliang's thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to be his military adviser. Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity, helped the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom. He devoted his whole life to the cause and died in harness.Our script is revised from this story and writed by my classmates of group FRIENDS. In this play, we add many modern and funny elements. For example, there are some spoken lines and actions which were copied from some classical movies like Infernal Affairs(中文名无间道), My Own S Word sman（中文名武林外传）,The Flirting Scholar（中文名唐伯虎点秋香）were combined in our play. Also, we added some interesting pictures and audio to our slide.Maybe there are some mistakes in our dialogue. But this play is the result of painstaking efforts of our group. So we present our script to you and wish you will like it.Three visits to the cottageLiubeiGuanyuZhangfeiZhuGeliangAside: After their swearing brotherhood to heaven and earth in a peach garden, the three persons——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei-had to be janitors in Caocao's corporation to make a living for they could not find jobs. Meanwhile the legendary and mysterious character ZhuGeliang who had been forced to attend CET-6 test by his wife was reviewing examination contents.SCENE 1: Liubei's homeActors: Liubei Guanyu ZhangfeiGuanyu : Brother! We three have been hungry for days and when will this tragic life end? It's so terrible!Liubei :Yu, it's impossible that I don't feel painful, isn't it?But as the proverb(谚语) says it is hard to sit in Rome and strive(抗争) against the Pope(教皇).Now we come down to Caocao's corporation(公司) as gatekeeper , anyhow we can fill our stomachs(胃) between whiles.It's very hard to get work now. No diplomas(学位证书) and no job offers, what are you dreaming about?Zhangfei: Oh, Brother! ZhuGeliang's wife borrowed us 500yuan to cope with his husband‟s CET-6 fees last month, it seems that it's time for us to be debt collectors now.Guanyu : Yeah, Brother! Or we'll be as poor as church(教堂) mouse.Liubei :Alas! How did I forget this? Let's go! Go~~ go~! Hurry up! Follow me and go to the mountain for dunning(催债)!Aside : And then the three brothers climb the mountain to find ZhuGeliang.SCENE 2: ZhuGeliang‟s hous eActors: ZhuGeliang WifeZhuGeliang : Good morning! I am the genius ZhuGeliang. But I feel so morose recently. Because my wife forced me to pass the CET-6. What‟s CET-6? Do you k now? Y ou?(Ask the audience) I‟ve never heart about that. And she obliged me to read so heavy books and do so many texts. It‟s ridiculous. My major is military advice, not English. Why should I read this? Wife: Darling!ZhuGeliang ：My wife is coming，she is so long-winded that I can never bear her.Wife ：My dear, how about your study?ZhuGeliang ：These books make me want to doze. I‟m dizzy.Wife ：Darling! Now, competition is so serious. If you can‟t pass cet6 to get your master‟s degree, it is difficult to fi nd a job.I have stayed here for half of a lifetime. But never visit a bigger place like Y angling.ZhuGeliang ：Don‟t worry, these books are too easy for your husband and don‟t need to learn.Wife ：Are you sure? let me have a test to you. Listen，read and see!ZhuGeliang ：A piece of cake!Wife ：Listen, can you spell apple? Desk?ZhuGeliang: Sorry I can‟t.Wife ：Y ou can‟t? Oh, how unfortunate I am! (crying) I'm wrong, I'm really wrong, I'm wrong from the beginning. I shouldn't marry here. If I didn‟t marry her e, I'll never in this heartrending place now,ZhuGeliang ：Don‟t cry, don‟t cry, stop! I …m going to study hard at once.Wife (laugh) : That's the spirit! Do you know? We are in the red for your Cet6. I even borrowed money from the gate keeper. What can I do when they dun for debts.ZhuGeliang : Are you pointing to that gatekeeper Liubei?Wife : Oh! Y es! Come on quickly! Boy!Keeper : What is the matter? Madam?Wife : Listen carefully! My husband is too busy doing his homework to welcome any people, so yo u will tell the people who calls on him that boss has went to study in England. .Keeper : Y es! Madam!Aside : While it is going on, liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have came to the gate of ZhuGeliang‟s house.SCENE3 Outside ZhuGeliang‟s houseActors : Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei KeeperZhangfei : Let me strike the door! Open! Open!!!Keeper: (Check from the peep hole) Are these men asking for the debt? (Open the door)Liubei: This is liubei! We are calling on ZhuGeliang and his wife.Keeper: Zhu said he is not in.Liubei: En????Keeper: Oh! No!...I mean …I mean my boss is studying English in England for the exam of CET-6,and he may not be come back this month.Liubei: OK! We are waiting for him here!Guanyu: Nobody knows that when he will come back, thus, let‟s go home!Aside: The three men went away with disappointed. After a month, the deeply autumn came! They came here at the second time. Unfortunately, they didn‟t see Zhugeliang again. Two mo nth passed, the cold winter is coming! It is heavy snowand very cold outsides. ZhuGeliang knows the reason that why they come here three times, and orders the keeper to let them come in whiles his wife is outside.SCENE4 Outside ZhuGeliang‟s houseActors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei KeeperZhangfei: Please tell me in time when you would see him next time, let me bind him up for you. It really should not trouble you to come here time and time again.Liubei: These days, the borrower is the god! Let‟s go there again and show our the warmest heart to move them.(Knock the door)Keeper：My boss is at home today, but he is reading books about CET-6. Please wait for a moment!Zhangfei：Xiao Zhu! Come out! Brothers, help me to take care of my seventh uncle and his third niece. Get out, or I will burn your house down!Guanyu: Sunflower press! AI. Litter brother, big brother has said several times, We are intellectuals, understand? Don't be so rude, we are here for debt, not for his life. If you will kill him, where is our money?Liubei: The submortgage(再按揭) crisis(危机) is so serious, don‟t you know that simple reason? If you know, please bat your eyesZhangfei (Bat eyes)Guanyu: sunflower press!!!!!Zhangfei: Where did you get this KongFu?Guanyu: Hehe! I get it from a TV program called “My Own S Words man”, which is so popular with lots of people in China!Zhangfei: Why not say it earlier? We three brother could run a company of Chinese KongFu if we had know that before! Guanyu: Oh!! That is a good idea!!!!Keeper: Don‟t interrupt!!!! Boss is reading!!!Liubei: Keep quite!!!Aside: at this time, zhugeliang is exciting, but his wife come back soon.SCENE 5: ZhuGeliang‟s HomeActors: ZhuGeliang wife liubei Zhangfei GuanyuZhuGeliang: Thank goodness, here's Liubei at last. Ha ha ha ……….Wife: Wof! Darling! He may come here to ask me to repay his money. We can‟t let him in.ZhuGeliang: My darling, please don‟t worry. I can make liubei go back with nothing by my sliver tongue.Liubei: Mr. ZhuGeliang. I have hunted (狩猎)you for a long time!Zhu: Oh! You are Liubei. What can I do for you ?Liu: my brother, you have borrowed me $500, when you repay it for me? I have starved(饥饿) for several days. ZhuGeliang: I owe you $500? who can testify? Please give me a chance, I want to be an honest man.Liubei: How can I give you a chance? Speak it to the judge.Zhu: Please look, although having ambition , you are just a guarder .We can enlarge our power from this base, and then attack Caocao. At last I believe that we can reign the whole country.Liubei: I‟m so surprised! I don‟t know you are so ideal.ZhuGeliang: If I give you a map, could I not repay your money?Liubei: En…….you know so much about affairs, are you willing to create a new country together with us? ZhuGeliang: But I can‟t help you, I have accustom the life at p resent.Liubei: If you don‟t help me , the citizen will live a harder life , please don‟t refuse.ZhuGeliang: En……sorry, I can‟t. Because my wife forces me to pass the CET-6 recently. If you can help me to resolve the problem, I will help you.Liu: En…..Z hangfei: (Pull) Brother, come here. Everything is fake now such as the milk. Why can‟t we find somebody help us do the test or buy a key ?Guanyu: Yes! We can overdraft our salary from Caocao to buy the key at first.SCENE 6: ZhuGeliang‟s HomeActors: Wife KeeperAside: Because the salary has been given to zhugeliang to buy the key, Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have been starving for one month.Keeper：（Happy）Sir , you are really a god . CET6 has got 600 scores. Be really to startle the universe and move the gods. Wife：What happened? 600 scores? Oh! Do not shoulder your several years studying at a cold window; Do not shoulder my night holding candle accompanying you. After your Master graduates, happy life will approach. Cars, house, money! SCENE 7: Outside ZhuGeliang‟s houseAside: After receiving the master degree, ZhuGeliang will go to work with Liubei to establish a new Kingdom.So the couples apart.Actors: ZhuGeliang Wife Liubei Guanyu ZhangfeiWife：Honey!ZhuGeliang：Darling!Wife：Excellent man have a long-range ambition. Y ou should put cause above everything else , are sure not to miss me. ZhuGeliang：I wi ll have a long journey .Please take care of yourself.(Turn around) Don‟t worried, never miss you!!(Run) ZhuGeliang：(To Liubei)Y our Majesty, I will never forget your favour. I should be loyal and devoted to the last.Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei: Let' go!!!!!Aside: The three men go down to the hill. That is the end of the whole story. Thank you for your attention.。
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Flirting Scholar（唐伯虎点秋香）Act 1地点：A river side, on the street人物：两女子、四大才子、如花、华夫人、四香、两家丁、两狗仔队迈克尔杰克逊音乐响起，四大才子身着西装，舞蹈上场。
舞蹈结束：一女子：Go and have a look.(两女子小跑到四大才子斜侧痴情的看着）四大才子：Ladys and gentlemen, we are the 'Four Scholars' .（从左到右：祝掐腰叼烟样，文抱手样，唐扇子遮脸坏笑样，周拿枪耍酷样，众女子倾倒）祝枝山：（从后背掏出扇子）We come here for a tour.That’s why thegirls are that crazy.文征明：Pals, why not has a poem competition?（走出来邀请三人）祝：Very good idea!Why don't you start first? Brother Wen bin.（做请他人样）周文斌：l am the best in this field.'There are many geese under the mountain.'（顺手指河）文征明：'They rushed down to the river.'（顺手指河）祝：'Let's roast a goose.'（顺手指河）唐：'After roasting, you'd better go home for a screw.'三人：Good, very good. Very good!（三人笑，唐伯虎逛笑）祝：There is something attractive. See, there is a beauty on the bridge.（指向原不远处，泰坦尼克号音乐响起，如花缓缓走过）She seemsto be lonely.Why not show us your talent about how to court a girl.To let us learn from you!唐：Well...周文斌：lt's the welfare for your friends, so?唐：l am glad to demonstrate it.三人：Go.唐：Miss.如花：What's the matter? （一回头，竟是如花！唐伯虎吃惊样并伴随呕吐感，苦笑回头看其他三人）三人：Go, go...唐：May l put my head on your shoulder?如花：ls it OK? No, l am a girl, a decent girl.（大惊小怪的说出）唐：l know, l want to make my friends happy, that's all.ln fact,l am Tong Pak-Fu.（正经样）如花：So what?l don't know you.l will shout for help if you don't leave me alone.唐：How about paying you 1 tael?（掏出一块钱）如花： 1 tael? Who do you think l a.m.?Make it ten.（伸手不屑样）唐：That's too expensive, why don't you rob?如花：Right, l am robber.Give me all your money.（两人乱打，最后如花被唐伯虎打落河中）三人：What's wrong?（赶到桥上）What’s the matter?文征明：No need to punch her like that?唐：Robber! lt's a ladyboy!三人：Ladyboy?祝：l love it. Hold it.（眼睛往上挑一下，祝枝山将折扇递给文斌，跳入河中）文征明：Damn it. He is being the first to!（华夫人带众人去拜神）春香：Look, so many people!（四香排队而出）夏香：Yes, it's crowded.（春夏香左顾右盼，其后再跟两个男家丁身着西装戴墨镜）华夫人：Chun-xiang, Xia-xiang, shut up.唐：Heave yourselves.What's going on?文征明：Madam Hua and her 4 pretty maids have come for worshipping.（用头指向华，狗仔队两人上拍照）周文斌：The maids are all pretty, especially Qiu-xiang.唐：Who is she? Who is Qiu-xiang?文斌,征明：Look! That way.三人：Qiu-xiang.（秋香回首一笑）唐：Damn, she is not pretty at all.周文斌：You know, pretty woman is like flowers.You'll be all eyes for its beauty if some leaves are around.Look once more.三人：Pretty woman!（其他三香回首皆成丑女衬托）唐：Woo, she is really pretty!Let's go in the temple together.To look for fun!（陶醉样）Act 2地点：West Gate of Hua’s house人物：唐伯虎、春香、惨人、秋香唐：Cheap man! A brand new cheap man for e and have a look!I’m so poor!（身挂一小招牌，哭喊状）（春香和秋香出门）春香：Are you selling yourself to bury your dad?But it's not lucky to see a dead body early in the morning.(嫌弃样）唐：l don't want, too.Why don't you be merciful, buy me please.春香：What a pity? We need a workman indeed, why not...（这时又来了一个人，身挂一大招牌，这人还口吐血，极其悲惨）惨人：l am poor, l want to sell myself to bury my whole family!唐：Kidding?!惨人：Be merciful, my family died last night.l am sick with tuberculosis too, why not buy me? May be, I’ll cut half price!（伸手乞求样）秋香：He is miserable; why not buy him to be our workman?春香：（哭）So, buy him.唐：Lady, first come first serve, l come first.秋香：lt's not a matter of priority.春香：Leave It to me. He has to bury his whole family and you have to bury your dad only.l do want to help you, but it's difficult for me to buy two. 唐：But, l am miserable too.（哭）春香：Then show me how miserable you are.唐：Well, l... See how dirty are my fingernails?lt's miserable, right?惨人：（惨人从背后掏出一只狗）（痛哭）Wong Cai, don't die! Don't die.You have followed me for a long time, you're so good to me.But lhave never given you sufficient food.l am damn sorry.唐：（唐伯虎看见一只蟑螂）Watch out!（春香一退，将蟑螂踩死了。
）（悲痛欲绝）Xiao qiang, how are you?Don't die, Xiao qiang, don't die.We have suffered for such a long time,l treated you as my relative.How can you leave me like this…春香：Sister Qiu-xiang, they are both miserable, what'll we do?秋香：Let's wait and see.惨人：（走到唐伯虎跟前，两人对峙）Damn! Brother! Wait.（大喊苦样）Look at you, you look rich. Why not go home and make a poorlook.first? Look at me, l am thin, and see the abscess on my hand!（对自己身体比划）l am really miserable than you.唐：Pal, don't challenge me. l hate to be challenged.惨人：So what?唐：Are you pushing me?惨人：l am miserable than you, so what?唐：Damn! Go to hell! （唐伯虎拿起一根木棒将自己的胳膊打断）唐：See, my whole hand is broken.Who is miserable now?惨人：Don't go too far!唐：lt's show-hand, so what?惨人：l'll play with you.OK, l will show-hand too.（拿起棍子砸自己的头，血流如注）Are you playing tricks with me?l don't want my life either,let's see how you can compete with me.Who is miserable? （说完，倒地身亡）唐：Bravo! You are really great. See you next time!春香：Hey, he is dead, l can buy you now.唐：Really?春香：Yes.唐： 5 taels more please.春香：How can you raise your price suddenly?唐：l want to bury him, too.春香：What a good heart you have! Let's buy him.（拿出银子）秋香：Come early tomorrow morning.唐：Thank you, Miss Qiu-xiang.（秋香进门时对唐伯虎一笑）唐：Such a tempting smile!Mom, l have got it.（兴奋）Act 3地点：The backyard of Hua’s house人物：唐、秋、宁王、对穿肠、夺命、华二老、仆人（华府，秋香窗外，唐伯虎身着西装）唐（独白）：Oh, Qiuxian,your smile is so beautiful,You let me yearn,you let me crazy,you are the ideal wife in my heart!(陶醉样）秋香：Hua an, why you are here?唐：I (Hua an) want to appreciate Q iuxiang’s appearance.秋香：Boring! Why are there so many nonsense rubbishes in this world? 唐：Mybe you misunderstand me.(东成西就“i love you”音乐响起，唐舞蹈）秋：（一盆水泼下）Where is cold,where are you going.（唐伯虎下，换古装）（独白）l wonder, is Tong Pak-Fu，the only ideal man in this world！Only a romantic man...can write such romantic poem!'The temple is located inside the peach blossom garden.''There is a fairy of peach blossom.''The fairy of peach blossom planted the peach blossom trees.''She traded the flowers for sweet wine.'唐：（唐才子模样出场，寂寞沙洲冷过门）'The furthest distance in the word''Is not between life and death''But wen I stand in front of you''Yet you don't know that I love you'(秋香把一物砸下来)秋香：You know I don't like Taigeer.唐:(唐一手插腰，一手伸开）Stop,kao please don't throw the things at me,it's not a big thing I do it again. （寂寞沙洲冷接着响起)'The people thought l was insane.''But they don't really understand me.''Can't you see the graves of the heroes?'‘No flowers, no wine, but who cares?'（秋香与才子模样的唐伯虎含情相望）唐：l love this poem!I love you more.秋香：You recited the poem of Tong Pak-Fu.ln fact, it's a kind of insult.唐：l couldn't help telling you the truth...Listen to me, l am Tong... Bo... Hu!(眼睛一下比一下亮)秋香：Tong Bo-Hu?（吃惊、心喜样）唐：So?秋香：You are really Tangbohu？唐：Qiuxiang, it’s me.（秋香走过来，含情默默相对，然后相拥一起，宁王来提亲）某家丁（幕后）：Milord,Madam,Ningwang is conming.(慌张，音乐停)秋香：Oh terrible,what should we do,quickly,come into my room.(唐、秋下，宁王、对穿肠、夺命书生上、华二老上）宁王：(拱手向华二老作揖)Ha-ha-ha，Milord Hua and Madam Hua,how's it Going?华夫人：No things no come,what will you do today come here,Milord Ning?（不怀好口气）宁王：My son will be engaged to Qiuxiang,are you ok？华夫人：It's not I disagree,but Qiuxiang had her lover.宁王：(生气样)Heng,however she thought,you must agree with me today.华夫人：After all,there is Huafu,you must do it as the rules of us.We can compete,if you win ,I would give Qiuxiang to you.宁王：Good,very good!（坏笑）对穿肠：（双截棍音乐响起，对穿肠手持扇子胡乱比划，音乐停，众人目瞪口呆，不知如何是好）（一丫鬟上把四个碗一双筷子摆上桌子，忐忑响起）唐：（唐潇洒上场，用筷子敲碗，音乐结束，对穿肠往后坐倒在地，抹抹袖子爬起来）对：What a small potato!唐：What a big potato!对：you...you...you...(手捂胸口指向唐)唐：Damn...damn...damn.shame on you!(一声比一声大，带戏耍口气，对穿肠再次坐倒在地，吐血)夺命书生：hi,baby,give me your life(对穿肠让开，说完跳出来，唐假装被吓往后一跳)华夫人：Look out(一拍桌子，站了起来,跳出来推开唐）ha-ha-ha,What a big tone!Good!As your wish, today is the time of your death!(音乐响起最后的抉择，华夺二人舞蹈，败下阵)（音乐beautiful响起，唐夺二人斗舞，结束二人做亲吻状，唐顺势捂嘴坏笑，夺呕吐）宁王：Oh,no,no,you had win today,remember,I will come back someday.(气急败坏的下)唐华：See you...!(做再见样)Act 4地点：Hua’s house人物：四香、唐、华夫人、仆人、众人三香：（跳起，相当兴奋）Hua an, you are so great !（对望）Tang bohu is so great！秋香：Bohu, are you alright?唐：l am fine, how about you?华夫人：Tong Pak-Fu, l have to thank you for saving our whole family.How can l reward you?唐：Madam, you are welcome, l have only one request.华夫人：l know it, you love Qiu xiang, right?l will marry her to you.唐：Bravo!（唐秋二人相拥，高兴，秋香下）华夫人：Tong bohu, although l promise to marry Qiu xiang to you,but on one condition.Choose Qiu xiang among 4 brides.某家丁：（读条款）You should find her out before the incense is extinguished.On the following conditions:1st: Stand behind the yellow line to find out.2nd: The brides can't produce any noise. Otherwise, she'll be fouled.3rd: Don't use anything...to touch the brides.That's all.（速度快）华夫人：lf you can't find Qiu xiang in time, then you'll lose.Then, Qiu xiang will marry my sons.唐：Madam, please don't fool me.Be frank, l can swear! l love Qiu xiang whole-heartedly.Why do you fool me again and agian?华夫人：Nonsense, choose it!唐：Oh, my god. （做出挑选新娘的动作,一准新娘身子动了动）l know it.（飞身将准新娘抱住）唐：On time. Qiu xiang（掀开准新娘的面具）.You are so beautifulI love you!秋香：I love you ,too!(亲嘴样)众人：（做恭喜状）congratulations...congratulations!唐：Qiuxiang,can you follow with me?秋香：Of course,it's what I think for a long time.(刘海砍樵英文版众人边唱边下，唐秋最后)唐：（唱）walk...秋：（唱）go...。