英语搞笑短剧剧本[1]
英语短剧剧本.doc
英语短剧剧本（一）角色：小兔、小狗、小猴、山羊characters: hare、dog、monkey、goat画外音：小兔子肚子饿了，她想找些东西吃。
找呀，找了半天。
忽然发现小路边的地里长着一根萝卜。
兔：啊，一个萝卜！一个大萝卜！我把它拔出来。
H:Oh,a radish!A big radish!I’ll pull it out.哎——嗨——呦！哎——嗨——呦！Ai-----Hay---Yo! Ai---Hay---Yo!这萝卜太重了。
我拔不出来。
The radish is too heavy. I can’t pull it out.狗：我是小狗。
我饿了。
哦，兔小姐，你在干什么？D: I’m a dog. I’m hungry. Oh, Miss hare,What are you doing.兔：你好，狗先生。
一个萝卜，一个大萝卜。
它太重了。
我拔不出来。
H:Hello,Mr.Dog.A radish,a big radish.It’s too heavy.I can’t pull it out.狗：我帮你。
咱们一起拔。
D:I’ll help you.Let’s pull it together.兔：谢谢你。
咱们一起拔。
H:Thank you .Let’s pull it together.兔和狗：一、二、开始！哎----嗨----呦！哎---嗨---呦！哦，这萝卜太重了。
我们拔不出来。
H&D:One,two,begin!Ai---Hay—Yo!Ai—Hay—Yo!Oh,the radish is too heavy.We can’t pull it out.（小猴走了过来）猴：我是小猴。
我饿了。
哦，你们在干什么？M:I’m a monkey. I’m hungry.Oh, What are you doing? 兔和狗：你好，猴先生。
一个萝卜，一个大箩卜。
它太重了。
我们拔不出来。
H&D:Hello,Mr. Monkey. A radish, a big radish. It’s too heauy. We can’t pull it out.猴：我帮你们。
英语三人短剧--搞笑
顾客: 小心, 你的大拇指在我汤里了服务员: 别担心, 先生, 不是很烫！A : Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup!B: Don't worry Sir it's not that hot!一个服务员给顾客拿来了牛排，大拇指在牛肉上。
“你疯了吗？”顾客喊到，“你的手在我的牛排上！”“什么？”服务员说，“你想让它再掉地上？”A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.A:Are you crazy?( yelled the customer ),with your hand on my steak? (What answers the waiter) You want it to fall on the floor again?服务员：茶或咖啡？先生。
第一个顾客：我要茶第二个顾客：我也是茶——杯子要干净的！服务员：两杯茶，哪个要干净的杯子？B:(Waiter:) Tea or coffee gentlemen?A:I'll have tea.C:(2nd customer:) Me too - and be sure the glass is clean!(Waiter exits returns)B:(Waiter:) Two teas.Which one asked for the clean glass?创新句子：我坚持用干净杯子喝茶。
服务员，这只苍蝇在我汤里干什么？看起来象是在仰泳，A:Waiter what's this fly doing in my soup?Um looks to me to be backstroke sir...服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！别担心，先生，面包里的蜘蛛会干掉它。
A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!B:Don't worry sir the spider on the breadroll will get 'em.服务员，我汤里有只苍蝇！不是，先生，那是蟑螂，苍蝇在你牛排里。
英文搞笑小话剧短篇带翻译
丹尼斯：好吧，神秘解开了！我猜我们现在都可以回到自己的宁静晚上了。
(They all chuckle and head back downstairs)
第三幕：神秘的噪音案
Characters:
角色：
Emma - a curious woman who can't stand strange noises
艾玛 - 一个好奇的女子，无法忍受奇怪的噪音
Dennis - Emma's nosy neighbor who loves to investigate
（他们一起上了楼，敲响了吵闹邻居的门）
Jane: (opening the door) Oh, hi there! Sorry about the noise. We were just doing some home workout videos. Jumping jacks can be quite loud, huh?
艾玛：太荒谬了！每次我洗衣服，我的几只袜子就神秘失踪了。就好像它们长了腿一样走了。
(Just then, their cat, Whiskers, enters the room with a sock in its mouth)
（就在这时，他们的猫，威克斯，带着一只袜子进了房间）
Tom: Well, I think we've found the culprit. Looks like Whiskers has been hoarding our socks!
丹尼斯：好吧，神秘解开了！我猜我们现在都可以回到自己的宁静晚上了。
英语搞笑改编短剧剧本-孙悟空三打白骨精
英语搞笑改编短剧剧本-孙悟空三打白骨精第一篇：英语搞笑改编短剧剧本-孙悟空三打白骨精Beat it!人物：T:唐僧M:孙悟空P:猪八戒S:沙僧X:白骨精原型B1:白骨精变成的村姑B2:白骨精变成的漂亮的女人B3: 白骨精变成男人T: Emitofo, Wow…,boys,this place looks beautiful.where we are now?......Does any one of you know what this place is? 众徒弟们摇头，除了八戒在看书。
T: bajie, give me the map(不回头，懒洋洋的问)T:bajie? Give the map to me!（严肃的问）八戒依旧看书，不理睬。
M: Idiot, What are you looking at?孙悟空用棍子打了一下八戒，八戒才注意，赶忙藏书。
但为时已晚，M一把抢过。
M: Look，monster…..(把书抢走交给师傅)T:(很吃惊)（转身训斥八戒）Bajie!How Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls!P: Oh, master!Forgive me。
I will never do this again(伸手拿回)T:(缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west.P: Master, we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow so.我这肚子饿了。
M: Fat Pig!P: Monkey, if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….M: You will what(凶相)? P: I will help you catch fleas 跳蚤。
英语搞笑话剧剧本
二人用版本Scene1（At Salesman’s home）N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming!S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll b e a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表)First, put the flour on the table.Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)Now press, press……Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情)Press, press……Oh, my god!Never mind! Just do it!Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe……Now let me cut it into pieces加旁白1人属于4人用）白雪公主与七个小矮人 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 英文短剧本旁白：Once upon a time, there was a queen. She had a pretty daughter named Snow White. Soon after the child was born, the queen died. The queen married another queen. The stepmother was very jealous. She dressed Snow White in rags and forced her to do the housework all day and all night, such as sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.白雪：( Sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.)皇后：I’m the new queen. I’m very beautiful. you see. If anyone is more beautiful than me, I’ll kill her. I have a magic mirror. If I want to know something, It will tell me surely.Now, mirror, mirror, come here!魔镜：Yes, I’m coming. Your Majesty! What do you want to know?皇后：Mirror, mirror, on the wall.Who is the fairest of the all?魔镜：Yes. Your Majesty! You are the fairest of all, I think.But there is a young lady. She is as white as snow, as red as rose and as black as ebony.She is much more beautiful than you.皇后：She is much more beautiful than me?Who is she? Tell me quickly.四人用版本Global warmingA．Class begins, good afternoon everyone.B．C. D ：Good afternoon, teacher.A. First, I will ask you a question: What is the serious problem nowadays ?B. I think it’s the problem of environment pollution.A. It’s related to our correct answer. But it isn’t correct one.B. Is it the problem of population increasing?A. No.C. Oh. I got it. It’s global warming.A. Right! Global warming is one of the serious problems nowadays. Because……B. Teacher. I have a question. It was very cold indeed this winter. I think it’s global cooling!A. You got the wrong concept. Global warming doesn’t only mean that the weather is getting hot, but also mean that the weather is out of control. So it will be sometimes very cold.B. Teacher. What causes “ global warming”?C. I know. Now people drive too many cars and the exhaust gases discharged by the cars and lorries pollute the air and also destroy the nature. It causes global warming.A. You are right. Do you know what will happen with the global warming?B. Yes. The ices in South Pole are going to be melted and at the time, many islands will be gradually flooded with water. Human will have no places to live.C. Surely, we don’t want that will happen.A. What sould we do to stop “Global warming”?B. I think we can protect the environment from ourselves. We can plant treesC. When we are protecting the environment, we are saving ourselves.A. Ok. Students, we can’t only speak but not do later . Let us go planting tre es.D. Oh, teacher! Tomorrow is March the twelfth, it’s tree-planting day!A. Yes! Now all of you know the importance of protecting the environment. B．C．D．Let us do our best to stop “Global warming” and make our earth a lovely homeland!A. That is good . I hope you all will be succeeded in protecting the environment. Now the class is over bye-bye students!B.C.D. good bye. Teacher.（4人版本）Narration: Carrie, Cici and Wing are co-worker of a company. This day they are talking in the office.Ca: Bingo! I finally finish this case. It is really tough! I have not slept well for almost a week.Wing:Me too .I always get so busy in this season. I have drunk three cups of coffee in order to keep awake.Ci: Our boss must be enjoying his holiday in Fiji very much. What do you think he will feel when he comes back to see our case?Ca:Of course he will feel surprised and give each of us a promotion. Wing: Come on, he is a devil, how could he do this to us? Anyway, we should award ourselves for these days hard work!Ca: You are right. Let’s pig out on junk food!Wing: I have stayed in China for a whole year and I miss my hometown. I miss German food!Ca: so do I .how much I love French food!Ci: I have not eaten German or French food before. Do you have any recommendation?Ca: If you visit France or go to a French restaurant, snails, cheese, and goose liver and red wine are the best choices.Wing: You also can’t miss the famous German sausage, ham and blue checse Ci: They all sound yummy. But do you know what Chinese eat when they miss their families?Wing&Ca: NoCi: The answer is dumplings!Ca:Well ,I heard that before though I haven’t tasted .Wing: Can you make dumplings, CiCi? Would you make some for us? I have been longing for dumplings for a long time.Ci: Aha, it is as easy as a pie for me .what about coming to my house tonight? We can make dumplings together. I will teach you how to cook it.Ca: Great! That is fantastic. Then it will be the first time to make and eat dumplingsWing: Very good idea! We could busy some basic ingredient at the suppermarket after work.Ci: Sure.We need flour, yeast, pork, cabbages, vinegar, sauce and ginger. (The three colleagues had their shopping and now they are in CiCi’s house)CiCiours some pour on the table and sai d:”Carrie, can you fetch some water here?”Ca: sure, here you are .what s next?Ci:Ci:we have to mix the flour yeast and water together .be careful ,don’t add too much water.Ca: Okay, I’m kneeing the dough repentedly.it is becoming and softer Wing: Yeah, I am cutting the pork into many small pieces, and then I will add several spoons of oil in it .shall I blend them?CiCi: Yes, make sure they blend well. A bit salt and a spoon of vinegar are needed, too.(an hour later)Ca: Yes, the dumplings are prepared .lets start!CiCi: Wait! I remember well that you all miss the food from your hometown.Look, what are these?Ca: Wow! Cheese! Where did you get it? And my favorite red wine. Wing: God. Those are sausage and ham, I can’t believe it!CiCi: Haha, it is a big surprise, isn’t it? Now ,we are got all three countries’ food ready.Ca: So it is a complete big meal.Wing: An unforgettable banquet in my life. Let’s cheers!Ca, Ci, Wing: Cheers!。
搞笑英文话剧剧本
搞笑英文话剧剧本演话剧咱们也可以少了剧本呢？为了方便大家表演，带来了搞笑英文话剧剧本，请看：搞笑英文话剧剧本英语幽默短剧剧本The Pocket MoneyScene1（At Salesman’s home）N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming!S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表)First, put the flour on the table.Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)Now press, press……Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情)Press, press……Oh, my god!Never mind! Just do it!Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe……Now let me cut it into pieces!另一个白雪公主与七个小矮人Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 英文短剧本旁白：Once upon a time, there was a queen. She had a pretty daughter named Snow White. Soon after the child was born, the queen died. The queen married another queen. The stepmother was very jealous. She dressed Snow White in rags and forced her to do the housework all day and all night, such as sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.白雪：( Sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.)皇后：I’m the new queen. I’m very beautiful. you see. If anyone is more beautiful than me, I’ll kill her. I have a magic mirror. If I want to know something, It will tell me surely.Now, mirror, mirror, come here!魔镜：Yes, I’m coming. Your Majesty! What do you want to know?皇后：Mirror, mirror, on the wall.Who is the fairest of the all?魔镜：Yes. Your Majesty! You are the fairest of all, I think.But there is a young lady. She is as white as snow, as red as rose and as black as ebony.She is much more beautiful than you.皇后：She is much more beautiful than me?Who is she? Tell me quickly.搞笑英文话剧剧本Characters: Narrator(N), Salesman(S), Dad(D), Maggie(M), Alice(A), Candy(C), Policeman(P)Preparation: 学校布景，做糖果用桌及相关材料，小贩家布景Scene1（At Salesman’s home）N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming!S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表)First, put the flour on the table.Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)Now press, press……Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情)Press, press……Oh, my god!(鼻涕)Never mind! Just do it!Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe……Now let me cut it into pieces!One, two, three, four, five……（用脏菜刀）Wow, everything is ready!糖果钻出来（跳舞），跳完后，非常难过地说：Oh, I’m so dirty and ugly! What can I do? The students will eat me! And they will be ill! Wuwuwu…S: Mmmm…It looks dirty, let me give you a nice coat! (给它穿上) Wow! Now it’s so beautiful! Haha……C: Oh, no! Don’t sell me! I’m dirty!(拖糖果下场)Scene2（At the school gate）N: The next day, when the class is over, all the students come out happily and the salesman goes to the school gate as usual. （Maggie和Alice 欢快地跑出校门，看到小贩）(小贩拉着糖上场，吆喝)：Candies! Candies! Sweet candies! ……M: Oh, Alice! Look! Candies!A: Yeah! I think they are yummy!M: Let’s ask him.A: OK!C: Don’t buy me！（非常焦急）MA: Why?C: I’m dirty！M: No, you look nice!C: What can I do? (面对观众) Wuwuwu…(小贩将她拉在后面)S: Candies! Candies!（引诱两个女孩）MA: How much are they?S: Do you have money?（轻蔑）MA: Money?(对视)M:Oh, I’ve no money!（失落之极）A: Me too.S: No money? So sorry!(吆喝着走开，下场)M: What can we do now?A: Let’s ask dad for money.M: But how to ask?A: How?…Oh,I know ,let’s make him happy ,and he will give us money.（自信）M: Good idea!(全部下场)Scene 3:（At Maggie’s home）N: The children have to go home and ask dad for some money, and they know their father is good at playing guitar, so they will do something clever. (爸爸看报)M: Dad,dad,let’s sing a song ,OK? (同时Alice去取吉他准备拿给爸爸)A: And play the guitar for us!M: We know you play so well!(爸爸惊诧地看着孩子)D: Oh? What a bright day today!MA: Please, dad!(哀求)D:OKOK! Let’s.(取吉他，开始准备)D: Which song do you like? How about Edelweiss?MA: Of course!(开始弹，第一段孩子随节奏起舞，第二段孩子开始轻声讨论起来“you first”之类的话，爸爸停止弹琴。
搞笑英语话剧剧本带翻译
《The Unlucky Day》
角色：汤姆、丽莎、布朗先生（汤姆的老板）、詹姆斯（汤姆的朋友）
场景1
（汤姆准备上班。他不小心把咖啡洒在衬衫上。）
汤姆：哎呀！今天真是倒霉！首先，我把脚趾碰在桌子上，现在又把衬衫弄脏了。
场景2
（汤姆到达办公室。布朗先生走了进来。）
布朗先生：汤姆，我需要那些报告在今天中午之前交上来。它们非常重要。
Scene 5
(Tom finally finishes the reports and hands them to Mr. Brown.)
Mr. Brown: Tom, these reports are full of mistakes. You need to redo them immediately.
Mr. Brown: Tom, I need those reports by noon today. They're very important.
Tom: Yes, Mr. Brown. I'll get them to you as soon as possible.
Scene 3
(Tom goes to the copy machine to make copies of the reports. The machine suddenly breaks down.)
汤姆：谢谢你邀请我，丽莎。这绝对改变了我的今天。
丽莎：我很高兴你玩得开心。也许你的运气正在改变呢！
结局
以上剧本是一部简短的搞笑英语话剧，通过汤姆一系列倒霉的事情和最后的转机，向观众传递了积极的情绪。学生们可以通过这样的戏剧形式，轻松愉快地学习英语，提高他们的表演能力和口语表达能力。希望这个剧本能够为英语教学和学生表演活动提供一些启发和帮助。
搞笑七分钟英语短剧剧本
搞笑七分钟英语短剧剧本陈:Hello, everyone, have you ever seen the movie? Yeah, you are right, I'm the director--R Z. Recently, I will direct a new movie, today, there will be an audition and I will select three actors to perform in this film. OK, let's begin. The first part, talent show, let's welcome actor number one.陈:大家好，你们看过吗？是的，我是这部电影的导演R Z。
最近我要导演一部新的电影。
今天在这里将举行一场面试，我要选出三位演员来拍摄这部电影。
好的，接下来就开始面试的第一个环节，才艺表演，让我们欢迎第一位面试者。
杨: I t’s so easy for me to get this character. (面朝观众说) Nice to meet you, my dear director. 杨:我一定能轻而易举地拿到这个角色。
(边走边朝观众说)很高兴见到你，亲爱的导演。
陈:Nice to meet you too, so, introduce yourself.陈:很高兴见到你，那么请介绍一下你自己吧。
杨:I'm CK Yang, you know. I don't have too many achievements, I just won six World Music Awards, eight American Music Awards, and…(做沉思状) oh, I forgot, two Oscar Awards, it's just a piece of cake for me, you know, I...杨:我是CK 杨，你知道的，我也没有太多的成就，我仅仅拿了6次世界音乐奖，8次全美音乐奖，对了，差点忘了这个，还有二次奥斯卡奖，这对我来说不过是小意思，你们知道的，我。
英语搞笑话剧剧本
英语搞笑话剧剧本篇一：搞笑小学英语小品剧本搞笑小学英语小品剧本人物：农夫，兔子A，兔子B，大树。
农夫：I’m a farmer.（稍停顿）[走两步]A cool farmer.（掏出墨镜戴上）[冷酷地走两步，突然被绊了一跤，继续保持冷酷]Eh...When I was yong,I studied in Xu~~~~chuan Middle , I’m rich now！[开始展示名牌，边说边掏]Look！This is my modern mobile——Nokia WC 250！This is my watch!This is my MP3!These are my shoes——(夸张低沉地)ADIDAS!This is… [不经意地掏出一个苹果]Oh,sorry.[扔掉苹果]It’s this![从怀里掏出痒痒挠] Do you know what’s this？痒痒挠？No no no~~You are out!!It’s my modern——锄头~！！[看下表] It is time to do some farming！[开始弯下腰做出锄地的动作]树：I’m a tree!I can do many things!I can sing![做出疯狂摇滚歌手的动作，哼哼哈西！！！]I can dance![跳四小天鹅] Oh?There comes a rabbit! [引导观众看兔子A)。
树站回后台] 兔子A：OK,I’m a rabbit. Now I’m just walking around here.[农夫继续锄地，边锄边上场，突然看见前面有个兔子]农夫：（惊喜地）Lunch！[扔掉痒痒挠]I will catch it！ [偷偷摸摸地跟到兔子后面走][农夫跟在兔子后面。
两个人走啊走。
兔子突然回头。
农夫假装看手表。
两人继续走。
兔子回头。
农夫假装看天气。
两人继续走。
兔子回头。
英语话剧搞笑版灰姑娘1
白:Long ago, there lived a girl. Her mother had died and her father had married again,His new wife had two daugters. They are so bad as their mother. The poor girl had to work day and night. She must sleep in the kitchen. She wore dirty clothes. All of them called her cinders for Cinderella. However, we’ll show you a different play today.(灰姑娘昂首挺胸帅气十足地上场)旁白：She is so strong, and smart. Especially she is good at sport. Now, she is running for the 100 meter race.(灰姑娘冲刺,旁边老师读秒:11’9)Now, she is playing basketball.(灰姑娘以一敌众,轻松灌篮)Now,she is practicing Chinese kungfu(灰姑娘打拳,对手倒)This is her----Cinderella灰姑娘(怒,看旁白) :Do you finish?旁白:Ok(结巴)continue, even she is perfect, she still can’t escape the poor life, Why? That is-----继母(假装洗衣服) :How cold the w ater! I’m too old to do anything, My leg is so painful.(灰姑娘默,从继母手中拿过洗衣盆)Ah!They’re so dirty that I can’t stand them!(一姐将盆碗碰得乱响.灰姑娘默,从姐手中拿过盆碗)Oh,no!My finger!Cinderella!(二姐手持针线缝衣,刺手,尖叫—灰姑娘默,从二姐手中拿过衣服) THE FIRST ACT(第一幕)(灰姑娘在帮后母按摩肩膀)二姐(奔入,扬动手中传单) :Mom, Mom, Look! There are some leaflets. I got them on the street. The King is having a party. The Prince will look for a wife.一姐(托腮) :I must be chosen, I am the most beautiful girl in the world.二姐(凭空跳舞) :No, Not you. I have the charming shape, I am the Queen.(两姐争吵起来,继母从女儿手中拿过传单,亲吻)继母:Oh, girls,stop. You two are the most beautiful girls in our country. He will probably choose one of you. Come on , make up yourself. We haven’t enough time!(瞪灰姑娘)Cinderella, what are you doing? Come here, help your sisters!灰姑娘:OK, I will. But, mom, can I go to the party tonight? I want to ------(三人敛神)一姐:Oh, my God! I forgot Tim’s homework. He gave us a lot of homework.. I can’t finish, what should I do ?二姐(拿书,指,附和) :Oh, Yes, Yes. Look, exercise A, exercise B, exercise C, exercise D, exercise E, Oh, planning tree, essay, studyplan------(偷瞄灰姑娘,哭)Oh, my God! Oh, my party! My Prince! My happyness! and the country’s future!灰姑娘(慌乱,安慰) :My sisters, don't cry! I always do the homework for you, of course tonight!(母女三人一通忙乱后) : Goodbye, our lively girl!THE SECOND ACT(第二幕)(魔女骑着一把几乎掉光了的扫把登场)旁白:Oh, Harry Potter!(魔女撞到灰姑娘)灰姑娘(怒) :Who are you ?魔女(得意) :I am the best witch, and the most beautiful witch. I can give you all the thing you wish.灰姑娘: Really? Do you know King’s party? I want to go,but------(低头看自己的破衣服)魔女(大笑) :Don’t worry. It is easy for me! Look, clothes,shose,car-----灰姑娘(面露欣喜,扑向鞋子) :Oh, how beautiful glass shoses!魔女:Wear it, and go !THE THIRD ACT(第三幕)(富丽堂皇的大厅里,音乐飘扬,人声鼎沸.女士们翘首以待) (交响曲) 侍卫(击杖) :Welcome the Prince.(鼓掌,欢呼)国王(严肃) : Please be quiet! As everybody knows, today I will chooes a beautiful, slim, homorous, and long hair girl for myson----(转身,指向王子),handsome, strong, tall, and brave!(王子做害羞状)众女士:How lively! How handsome! (做陶醉状,冲向前,将王子团团围住)(此时,飞出一女,持扇“杀出一条血路”)(王子与灰姑娘共舞,突然手机铃声响起)王子:Whoes phone?灰姑娘:Oh, it’s my phone!(掏手机边跳舞,边接电话,甩葱歌）This is Cinderella, spea !魔女:It 12’clock, game will be over, come back quickly!Or you’ll change back!(开始敲钟)灰姑娘:Oh, I must go!(慌忙中跑,掉了一只鞋)王子(检起鞋,追) :Wait! You forget give me you name, and you phone number! (举起手机，深情大喊)王子(注视姑娘远去,悲情) :I’ve lost her! （手捂胸口，跪下）THE FORTH ACT(第四幕)旁白: Since the party, Prince fall in love with Cinderella, the Prince decided to look for the mysterious girl. He is sued a proclamation, “Who ever the glass shoe fits, shall be wife to the Prince!”(王子带着士兵到处找人试鞋)士兵:Please try the shoe!(女士甲试鞋) Oh, your foot is too big!旁白:At las t, the Prince come to Cinderella ‘s home.(两姐站在门口,花痴状) :Oh, the Prince is coming, he is so handsome! He is so cool!士兵(拿着鞋) :Please try the galss shoe.(两姐妹正抢): Oh, it is my shoe! ------Oh, it is my shoe!(士兵夺过鞋,递给大姐): You first!(大姐拿过鞋,却怎么也穿不进去)士兵: Stop doing that. You foot is too long, you will break the shoe! 二姐(得意) :I said, it is my shoe.(抢过鞋,试穿,费了九牛二虎之力终于穿上,走开来)(走几步，绊倒)二姐: ****, too small!(甩掉鞋,蹲下揉脚,鞋飞到灰姑娘身上)继母(怒吼) : Why are you here? Back to kitchen! Wash the dishes! 士兵: Wait! Every girl must try !继母: She is drity! It is couldn’t be her!(灰姑娘默,轻松的穿上了鞋)（同时）王子(欢呼) :Oh, it fits! I found you !(王子和灰姑娘拥在一起，转圈，舞曲响起，两人共舞)旁白 :The Prince was delighted to find her, and on a bright sunny day, he and Cinderella were married. They lived happily ever after!。
英文情景喜剧
英语小品剧本 -- 英文小短剧人物：A:衣衫褴褛Begger B:衣着光鲜Gentleman C: 小花 Flower D: 小草 G rass E: 椅子Chair F: 新闻记者Journalist（B坐在E上吃东西，A一乞丐上前）A：先生，先生，请给我些面包，谢谢，我饿得不行了。
A:sir,sir,please give me a piece of bread.thank you,sir.I'm hungry to d ie.B：（厌恶）让开，让开。
（然后便起身离开，这时他的钱包掉到E上头了）B:get away,get away,dirty man.A：先生，先生（A看见后，立即拾起，追上了走远的B）A：sir，sir！B：让开，让开啊，我没吃的了，也没钱了（看也不看A，仍自顾自地走了）B:run away,please run away.I have no food,and I don't have money,eit her.C：他真愚蠢啊C:hey,xiao D,he is so foolish,isn't he?D：是啊是啊（D点头附和）D:yes,yes.A：可……先生……您听我说……（仍拉着B衣服的后摆）A:but....sir....please listen to me.....B：挖，你这人怎么这么讨厌！（还是没有回头看A一眼）B:wa,why are you so disgusting!!C：椅子啊，你会不会觉得刚刚坐在你身上的人特愚蠢？C:hey,chair,do you feel the man sat on you a moment ago is very stup id.E：唉，人总是这么愚蠢啊~~~~E:ai,pretty flower,do you know,men are always very silly.D：是啊是啊D:yes,yes!!与此同时A与B还在纠缠，这时E终于隐忍不住爆发了。
初中英语短剧剧本《Thefunnytalking》[推荐5篇]
![初中英语短剧剧本《Thefunnytalking》[推荐5篇]](https://img.taocdn.com/s3/m/75cabd4703768e9951e79b89680203d8ce2f6aad.png)
初中英语短剧剧本《Thefunnytalking》[推荐5篇]第一篇：初中英语短剧剧本《The funny talking》郑 Aside [əˈsaid]：（Class will start soon）旁白：马上要上课了方 Tom:Joe,could I see your composition[ˈkɒmpəˈzɪʃn] ?Tom:Joe,我可以看看你的作文吗？杰 Joe：OK。
Joe：好吧。
Aside：（Tom copies the composition and hand in it.In a short time,the teacher come in with a book.）旁白：T om抄袭了作文并交了上去。
不一会儿，老师拿着一本书进来了然 Teacher: Class begin!老师：上课！肖 class monitor['mɒnɪtə(r)] ：Stand up!班长：起立！All the students:Good afternoon,Ms.Green.全体同学：下午好，格莱恩女士。
Teacher:Good afternoon,class.Sit down,please.老师：下午好，同学们。
请坐。
Teacher：Before class, I want to ask you a question: Did you do your homework by yourselves?If you do,please put up your hands.老师：在上课之前，我想问你们一个问题：你们是独立完成家庭作业吗？如果你这样做，请举手。
Aside：(All the students put up their hands.)旁白：（所有学生都举起了手。
）Teacher: But Tom, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother，Joe’s.Did you copy his? 老师: 但是Tom, 你的作文“我的狗狗”里写的东西和你哥哥Joe写得一模一样.你是不是抄袭了他的? Tom: No Ms.Green, it’s th e same dog.Tom: 不是这样的,老师!我们俩养的是同一只狗狗.Aside：(The teacher is angry.At the same time,Frank coming.)旁白：（老师有一些生气。
英语搞笑话剧剧本
英语搞笑话剧剧本英语搞笑话剧剧本英语搞笑话剧剧本（一）从前，一个巫婆有一双臭脚，人们都很讨厌。
所以，她想找一个人换掉她的双脚。
有一天她来到"香国" .她发现，人人都有双香脚。
一天王子午睡，巫婆用自己的臭脚换了王子的香脚。
有一位公主，她总是失眠。
虽然国王和王后在尝试了很多方法，她还不能睡觉。
国王和王后陛下非常担心自己的女儿。
最后，他们就发现了一个方法：每当公主无法入睡，她只需要嗅觉王子的臭脚，然后她将睡得很好。
最后王子和公主很幸福的生活在一起。
人物Ada: Little girlCandy: QueenEvander: KingEvelynJoel: PrinceRita: Singer /WomanYilina: WitchSummaryOnce upon a time…A witch had a pair of stink y feet. They were very disgusting. So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet.And one day she flied to "Fragrance Country". She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet. And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet. The prince took a nap and snored under the tree. At that time, the witch exchanged her own stinky feet with the prince’s fragrant feet.There was a princess who couldn’t sleep in "Beauty Country". Although the king and the queen tried many methods, she still couldn’t sleep.The king and the queen were very worried about their daughter.And then, they discovered a perfect method for the princess to fall asleep: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, she only had to smell the prince’s stinky feet, and then she would sleep very well. In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together.SCENE I（One afternoon, a girl, Ada, is reading a book）Ada: Oh~ what an interesting story! Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet. They smelt worse than stinky tofu. They were very disgusting. So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet.Ada: And one day she flied to "Fragrance country". She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet. And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet. The prince took a nap and snored under the tree.Witch: （screaming and laughing and dancing）I’m the most perfect witch who has both beauty and intelligence. More and more people fall for my…my … feet! Oh no, my feet! I’m such a charming witch, but why do my feet stink so much? Everyone faints when they smell my feet. The smell of my feet can kill mice. Oh, I don’t want to live. I want to fly away!（Flying to the Fragrance country）Witch: （Crying） I hate my feet! I hate my feet! （in a low voice） Ha-ha, what’s the smell? It smells so sw eet. （Searching）Oh. What a handsome boy. （Come closer and take a deep breath）Oh, oh, oh, why do his feet have such a sweet smell? It’s just notfair! （Angrily）Not fair! Look, he’s sleeping and snoring. Let me exchange my feet with his! （Doing magic and laughing loudly）Oh, my feet. You smell so sweet! Now I’m really the most charming witch. （Fly away）Prince: （Asleep and dreaming） Oh! What a beautiful girl you are! You are my only one – my dear princess.Prince: （Wake up!）Oh~ what’s wrong? What a bad sm ell!! The room smells of stinky tofu. Is it my table? My hand? My chair? My head? Or my window? Oh no! It’s my feet. I have a pair of stinky feet. How did it happen? （Hold on to his head.）（Run away）I can’t believe it!-SCENE II（The prince is walking and sees some crows on the way.）Prince: Oh~ there are many crows.Crow A: Please go away…Crow B: Quickly! It’s full of bad smell here.Crows: We are going to die, because your feet are too disgusting.Prince: Oh! I am so sorry…My feet cause you much trouble…Sorry~!（Prince continues to walk. He sees some flowers.）Prince: Hum~ I like the perfume of flowers.Flower A: Oh! I can’t live without fresh air.Flower B: Keep your feet far away from us, please.Flowers: Your feet are too disgusting.Prince: Why does everyone dislike me? I am so sad and I am sorry for making you feel bad.（Prince continues to walk.）Prince: What can I do? I want my sweet-smelling feet back.（Many strangers are buying from vendors on the road.）Stranger A: Did you step in something? Check your shoes.Stranger B: Oh! Don’t talk nonsense.Stranger C: I know where that bad smell comes from. It’s him.Strangers: Just get lost! Dirty man!Prince: Oh I’m sorry. I’m not a dirty man. My feet are really disgusting.（Prince continues to walk.）-SCENE IIIAda: There was a princess who couldn’t sleep in "Beauty country."Although king and queen tried many methods, she still couldn’t sleep.Ada: The king and the queen are very worried about their daughter. Then, they finally found a perfect solution after several trials and failures…（In the palace.）Queen: I am the queen!King: Of course I am the king!Queen: You never care about your daughterKing: So…what happened to our baby?Queen: My dear daughter can’t sleep!King: So…what can we do?（Queen brings many kinds of pills to her daughter.）King: Oh~my dear, just take them all.Princess: Take them all? Are you sure?King: Yes!Princess: （Take medicine）I still can’t sleep me still can’tsleep!（Try another method.）King: Hey my dear! Dad teaches you a good way to fall sleep: Counting Sheep.Princess: 1 sheep 2 sheep 3 sheep ……（Try a third method.）Queen: I know a girl with a beautiful voice. Maybe she can make our daughter sleep.King: Yes yes! （Open the door） Is she the one? （See Ada）Queen: Oh~no!King: Is she the one?Queen: Of course! Please start singing!Rita: I am a magic singer. （Clean the throat.） Can I start to sing?Rita: Baby sleep. Baby sleep. Baby hurry to sleep. Everybody sing with me…Princess: Shut up! Get out of here!!King: I think these methods are not good ideas. We’ll think of better ideas.Queen: Hum…I have an idea…maybe we can……King: You can say that again.Queen: Let’s get ready.（King and queen are preparing …）Princess: Daddy! Mommy! It’s time to sleep! Don’t forget to take medicine.（King and queen are disguised as ghosts in order to scare the princess to sleep.）King: Oh, no! It didn’t work. Maybe we should get help from people.Queen: OK! （Point to Ada） You just do it. Go out on thestreets and find some help.-SCENE IV（Prince walks in the Beauty Country and looks at a crowd of people. Some people try to make the princess sleep.）Prince: （To himself.）A woman among the crowd: I’ve tried several ways and still they didn’t work! I think I can make the princess sleep! Can I try?King & Queen: Yes! It’s our pleasure. Please try.Prince: Thank you! （Take his shoes off and put his feet in front of the princess’s face.） Sorry! My dear princess!Princess: Oh! Your feet smell so awful. I can’t breathe and I want to sleep.King & Queen: Oh no! My dear~ What happened to you? Don’t scare us!（King touches her nose to check if the princess breathes.）King: She’s still breathing. She just fell asleep.（Queen hugs the Princess.）Queen: Thank you! Oh, thank God! My dear baby finally fell asleep.King: （To the prince.） Oh! Thank you! We are very lucky to meet you.Prince: I can’t believe it! My disgusting feet have magic power!!Queen: Oh! Don’t say that! They are not disgusting at all. Congratulations! You are going to marry my dear daughter.King: Yes! This is a happy ending.Ada: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, all she had to do was to smell the prince’s stinky feet. And then, she would sleep very well. In the end, the prince and the princess livedhappily together.英语搞笑话剧剧本（二）旁白：话说梁山伯和祝英台59年前一同来到刚刚成立的吉林农业大学学习英语。
英语戏剧有趣英语小短剧
英语短剧六() 班刘靖怡开场前四人在幕前介绍自己：A ：乞丐 A : Hello, I am a beggar .【乞丐：你好，我是一个乞丐。
】B ：商人 B : Hello, I am a businessman .【商人：你好，我是一个商人。
】E ：椅子 E : Hello, I am a chair .【椅子：你好，我是一把椅子。
】F ：记者 F : Hello, I am a reporter .【记者：你好，我是个记者。
】剧本正文：A:Sir ,sir ！Please give me a piece of bread .I am hungry to die .【 A ：先生，先生！请给我一片面包。
我快饿死了。
】B:Get away,get away,dirty man .【 B ：走开，走开，肮脏的人。
】A:But…sir…Please listen to me！【 A ：但是…先生的…请听我说！】E:Oh，Man are always very tired .【 E ：唉，男人总是很烦。
】E:Sir!You lost your wallet!You can be a little smarter?【 E ：先生！你丢了钱包！你能聪明一点吗？】F : Good morning, everybody . I saw a very weird thing—— a chair opens its mouth .Now,I will interview the two Witness .【 F：早上好，各位。
我看到了一个非常奇怪的事情——一把椅子说话了。
现在，我将采访两个目击者。
】B :The chair can speak !Strange happenings！Strange happenings! (胡言乱语)【 B ：这椅子能说话！怪事！怪事！】F:I'm sorry to tell you this man has been mad . We needn't take notice of him .Let me interview the other man .“Hello,sir .Can you tell man why didn't you tell him he lost his wallet?【 F：我很抱歉的告诉你，这个男人已经疯了。
大学生英语幽默短剧剧本_0
大学生英语幽默短剧剧本篇一：英语搞笑短剧剧本三打白骨精Three Times’ Beating Monster人物：T唐僧S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒J：沙僧B：白骨精（何平） B1：B变成的村姑 B2：B变成的太婆B3：B 变化成的老头 T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?S: Bajie,map!E: (摸出，递给S)S: Look,boss (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls!E: Oh, boss!Forgive me(伸手拿回)T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west E: But……T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?E: (递)…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.S: Fat Pig!E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,Iwill ,I will………. S: You will what(凶相)?E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).S: Hm!T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?E: You see , boss is hungry,too!T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!J: But boss,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away….. T: Em…….It is a ,do you have any idea?S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）J: This is…..?S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!S: Bye!(走)T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?J: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!T: Bomb?(打出)B1: Double King!T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a boss-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)B1: （倒)Ah……T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!S: She is a monster!T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)S: Oh,please don’t……T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆) B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡) S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)E&J: Are you Ok, boss?(扶T)J: Look,(伸食指)how many?T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it(哭喊) S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives! S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster! T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!S: (悲，离去)（音乐，营造“假”悲伤气氛）J: boss, brother Monkey is.......T: Don’t mention that guy any more!B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走) T: （惊）You are......B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)B: (抓住T)I’ll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.T: Wukong?E: Oh,Brother Monkey!J: Our hero is back!T: I,I can’t understand......What happened?S: Boss,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!T: How,how did you find out?S: (沉默).......Monkey’s intuition(直觉)T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I’m sorry(小声) S: What?T: I’m sorry.S: Em? Louder,please?T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音乐响）（这个放伴奏） (谢幕)篇二：孔雀东南飞--英语搞笑短剧剧本焦仲卿johnny(j for short)刘兰芝lunch(l for short)焦母johnny’s mother(jm for short)刘母lunch’s mother(lm for short)太守之子mayor’s son(ms for short)强盗burglars(a b and c)prologue 序幕(j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪)j:everybody says that i’m hen pecked, but in fact,i’m a strong tiger,(小声)while my wife is wusong.译：人人都说我怕老婆，实际上我是老虎，（小声）我妻子是武松。
英语小品6人搞笑简短
英语小品6人搞笑简短Scene: A living room. Six people are sitting around, talking.Person 1: So, I was thinking, we should do something fun this weekend.Person 2: Like what?Person 3: I know! We can go to the movies.Person 4: That's a great idea. What movie do you want to see?Person 5: I don't know. I'm not really in the mood for anything too serious.Person 6: Me neither. Let's see if there's anything funny playing.Person 1: Okay, I'll check the listings.(Person 1 gets up and goes to the computer.)。
Person 2: So, what do you think we should do after the movie?Person 3: We could go out to dinner.Person 4: That sounds good to me.Person 5: Me too.Person 6: Where should we go?Person 1: (Comes back from the computer.) There's a new comedy playing at the theater down the street. It looks pretty good.Person 2: That sounds like fun.Person 3: I'm in.Person 4: Me too.Person 5: Let's do it.Person 6: Great. I'll buy the tickets.(Everyone gets up and starts to leave.)。
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三打白骨精Three Times’ Beating Monster人物：T唐僧S：孙悟空E：猪八戒J：沙僧B：白骨精（何平）B1：B变成的村姑B2：B变成的太婆B3：B变化成的老头T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?S: Bajie,map!E: (摸出，递给S)S: Look,boss (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls!E: Oh, boss!Forgive me(伸手拿回)T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the westE: But……T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So. S: Fat Pig!E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….S: You will what(凶相)?E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).S: Hm!T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?E: You see , boss is hungry,too!T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!J: But boss,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away…..T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）J: This is…..?S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!S: Bye!(走)T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?J: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!T: Bomb?(打出)B1: Double King!T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,y ou are a boss-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)B1: （倒)Ah……T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)S: Oh,please don’t……T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2) E&J: Are you Ok, boss?(扶T)J: Look,(伸食指)how many?T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊)S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住)You have killed three lives!S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!S: (悲，离去)（音乐，营造“假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》J: boss, brother Monkey is.......T: Don't mention that guy any more!B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)T: （惊）You are......B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.T: Wukong?E: Oh,Brother Monkey!J: Our hero is back!T: I,I can't understand......What happened?S: Boss,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!T: How,how did you find out?S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)S: What?T: I'm sorry.S: Em? Louder,please?T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏）(谢幕)《孔雀东南飞》Wanderseveryfivemiles焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort)太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC)Prologue(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemy wifeisWuSong.(指着上台处的门大声道)I’mnotafraidofyou!(内砸出一脸盆,Ｊ接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’mafraidofwhom? MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.Sheisbraverthanme, smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender thanme.Butsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J)MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下)Act1(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!(对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’mhere!What’supmum?JM:I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuland dearestmother-in-law”.L:OK.Mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup?JM:Sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so lazy……L:But……JM:Neverinterruptme!L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall daylong,cookingandwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken and……JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)Goandaskyour son.I’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)Act2(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)L:Mum,I’mback!LM:Youareback?Why?Whathappened?L:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law.LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!Whenyouinsistedon marryingthatterribleJohnny,Itoldyouthatheisuglystupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlisten tome.Lookatyourself……L:But,mum……L:Mum,I’mnotinterruptingyou.IjustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightOK?AndI’llmarrywhom everyouwantmeto.LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor’ssoninthemarket.Hesaid:“Ifyoudaughter Haven’tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”Nowyouarefreeagain,I’llgo andtellhim.(下)L(惊愕):What?Themayor’sson?Themostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood?(手中的锅铲掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下)Act3(J睡眼惺忪上)J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks?(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Heretheyare!(闻一下)Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty! (突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself.(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’msohungry!Butthere’snobreakfast!(捡起地上的围裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Now shehasgone.Ihavetocookformymotherandmyself.JM(上):Where’smybreakfast?Where’sLunch?Hasn’tshegotupyet?J:Mum,can’tyouremember?Lunchhasgone!JM(沉吟片刻):Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.Lunchisanice girl,goandtakeherback!J(立正敬礼):Yesmadam!Act4(J开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!Theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)B:AndIplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚)AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney!J(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出１角硬币):Is1maoenough?(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken!B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight!C:Iheardthatthemayor’ssonisgoingtomarryMissLiuLanzhinextmonth.WEcangoand robthewedding!A&B:Goodidea!J(惊讶):What?What?Lunchisgoingtogetmarried?It’simpossible!AB&C:Why?Aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven’tgotdivorcedyet!(突然有了主意)I’vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyou?I’llgo withyou.YoutakethemoneyandItakethebride.B:Haveyougotanyexperience?J:No.ButI’vegotthis!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄１，０００，０００)Act5(转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)(J和三强盗跃至台中)ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!B:AndIplantedonetree.C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---J:Giveusallyourmoney!(L听到J的声音，掀起了盖头)L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后)(MS大怒，挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身后的L，L晕倒)J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（挥拳向MS冲去）(J与MS混战，JM上，以拐杖击晕MS)(J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)J(扶起L，关切地问):Honey,howareyou?L(哭状):Ihurtalot!J:Don’tcrybaby.I’llgoandfetchthemedicine.(下)L(起身去追):Waitforme!(跑下)(音乐起CanYouCelebrate)Big words of western tour （大话西游）Chapter 1Site：The weddingCharacters:牛魔王、至尊宝、紫霞、小妖Aside: The story begins with a wedding. The Bull King is going to have a concubine.牛：Today is my wedding. I am going to have a concubine. Ha ha ha …….妖：Concubine? Dose your wife agree to it?牛：Oh! She is not lovely anymore. She’s right now at the Flame Mountain. She can do nothing about it! (至尊宝从后台走入人群中)牛：Let me introduce my brother to you! My bro!Come here! This is my brother.(牛深情地转向紫霞)牛：Zixia, listen to me. I think I ‘ve fallen in love with you once I know you. I want to show my sincerity. So I request you to marry me in front of my bros. This Pandora’s Box is my gift to you. I hope you would say yes.妖：I object!牛：What?妖：Zixia has a means to test her lover. If you can pass it, I will shout up!至：What’s this? Really?妖：This test is that she would marry the guy who can make her Magic Sword go out of the scabbard.(剑从至的怀中落下)妖：Magic Sword?牛：Let me do this!(紫跑出，拾剑)紫：It’s not true! It’s just a joke. It is still meaningless even if you can put it out!(紫跑下)妖：King, Iron Fan Princess has come.牛：Aaa……(牛惊慌地跑下)Aside: The monkey king leaves the front hall, running to back garden……Chapter 2Si te: Bull King’s back gardenCharacters: 至尊宝、紫霞（至跑过来，突然看到紫独自坐在台阶上，于是走过来）(紫抽剑，指向至。