精选爆笑英语段子
搞笑英文段子带翻译
下面是一些搞笑的英文段子，附带中文翻译，希望能给大家带来一些欢乐。
1. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
你怎么称呼穿着马甲的鳄鱼？
An investigator.
侦探鱼。
2. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
清洁工从壁橱里跳出来时说了什么？
“Suppliesu get when you cross a snowman and a dog?
如果你把雪人和狗交叉，会得到什么？
Frostbite.
冻伤。
6. What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
青蛙的车出故障会发生什么？
It gets toad away.
它会被拖走。
7. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?
海鸥为什么不飞越海湾？
Because then they’d be bagels!
因为那样它们就会成为贝果！
希望这些段子能给你带来欢乐，不过记得要根据具体情况来使用，要适时适地讲笑话哦！
为什么骷髅不互相打架？
They don’t have the guts.
因为它们没有胆量。
3. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire?
如果你把雪人和吸血鬼交叉，你得到什么？
Frostbite.
冻伤。
4. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
英语经典爆笑笑话12篇
英语经典爆笑笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语经典爆笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语经典爆笑笑话：Keep feeding him nickelsA mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it. She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes. Frantically, she called to the father outside. "Your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes!What shall I do? "Yelled back the father,"Keep feeding him nickels!"母亲见三岁的儿子将一枚五分镍币放进嘴里吞了下去，她立刻将他抱起，头朝下不停地拍打他的后背，他咳出了两枚一角的硬币，她发狂似的朝正在外面的孩子父亲喊道：“你儿子刚才吞下了一枚五分镍币，可咳出两枚一角的硬币!我该怎么办呢?”孩子他爸大声回答道：“再喂他几枚镍币!”英语经典爆笑笑话：Dumas仲马One day a man was taunting Alexandre Dumas，the greatFrench novelist，with his ancestry. “Why，” snarled the fellow，“you are a quadroon;yourfather was a mulatto，and your grandfather was a negro.” “Yes，” roared Dumas，“and，if you wish to know'mygreatgrandfather was a monkey. In fact，my pedigree beganwhere yours terminates.”有一天，一个人在嘲弄法国大小说家亚历山大·仲马，讥笑他的祖先。
幽默英语段子
幽默英语段子一、校园幽默1.- 英语课上，老师问小明：“How do you spell 'cow'?”（你怎么拼写“奶牛”这个单词？）- 小明回答：“C - O - W.”- 老师又问：“What does a cow give us?”（奶牛给我们提供什么？）- 小明想了想说：“Lies. Because my father always says 'I have a cow' when he is lying.”（谎言。
因为我爸爸说谎的时候总是说‘我有一头奶牛’。
） - 原因：这里利用了“have a cow”这个英语习语，它的意思是“非常生气、激动”，但是小明按照字面理解，把它和真正的奶牛联系起来，制造出了幽默的效果。
2.- 学校组织英语演讲比赛，主题是“Myself”（我自己）。
- 小红上台说：“I'm a very special person. I'm like a dictionary. Everyone comes to me for words, but no one really understands me.”（我是一个非常特别的人。
我就像一本字典。
每个人都来找我要单词，但是没有人真正理解我。
）- 原因：把自己比作字典，形象地表达了在学习英语过程中，可能自己英语比较好，大家都来问单词，但是却感觉别人没有真正理解自己内心的那种微妙情绪，这种独特的比喻带来了幽默的感觉。
二、家庭幽默1.- 儿子问爸爸：“Dad, why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?”（爸爸，为什么“缩写”这个单词这么长呢？）- 爸爸一脸无奈地说：“Well, son, it's a long story.”（儿子，说来话长啊。
）- 原因：单词“abbreviation”本身是“缩写”的意思，但是这个单词却很长，爸爸回答“说来话长”，是一种幽默的双关语，既表示这个问题不好回答，又巧妙地回应了这个单词的矛盾性。
【笑话】关于英语幽默笑话短_幽默笑话短信
关于英语幽默笑话短_幽默笑话短信在这个快节奏的生活中，找点乐子成了我们不可或缺的调味剂。
而英语幽默笑话，就像是那杯午后的咖啡，提神又醒脑，让人在不经意间笑出声。
今天，就让我带你走进那些让人捧腹的英语幽默笑话，一起感受那些简单却充满智慧的快乐瞬间，说不定还能笑出腹肌呢！一、误解也疯狂记得有一次，我在一个国际交友平台上遇到了一个英国朋友，名叫Tom。
我们聊得很投机，直到有一天，他给我发了一条信息：“I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse!” 我一看，心里咯噔一下，心想：“这哥们儿是不是饿疯了？要吃马？”正当我紧张地想要安慰他时，他突然发来一个笑脸符号，解释说：“哈哈，这是句英国俚语，意思是‘我饿得能吃下一头牛’！”我这才恍然大悟，原来英语里的表达有时候这么直接又夸张，让人忍俊不禁。
从那以后，每次我觉得饿极了，就会半开玩笑地说：“I could eat a horse too!”二、单词游戏的乐趣还有一次，我和几个英语爱好者朋友聚在一起玩“单词接龙”。
轮到我的时候，我灵光一闪，说了一个“banana”（香蕉）。
下一个朋友稍作思考，接了个“analyst”（分析师）。
轮到下一位时，他明显卡壳了，眉头紧锁。
我们都以为他要输了，结果他突然眼睛一亮，大喊：“Stop! I’ve got it! Spyglass!”（等等！我想到了！望远镜！）原来，他是把“analyst”倒过来念成了“tsylana”，然后巧妙地加上了“ss”和“pyg”变成了“spyglass”。
那一刻，我们都被他的机智逗乐了，这场游戏也因此变得更加有趣和富有挑战性。
三、短信里的幽默宝藏在手机短信盛行的年代，我也收到过不少让人捧腹的英语幽默短信。
其中一条至今让我记忆犹新：“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”（为什么科学家不信任原子？因为它们总是编造一切！）这句简短却充满讽刺意味的话，用科学的术语包装了一个日常生活中的笑话，让人在会心一笑的同时，也感受到了英语的魅力。
超级搞笑的英文文案
超级搞笑的英文文案1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right." 我不是在争论，我只是在解释为什么我是对的。
2. "I have a photographic memory, but I always forget to charge my camera." 我有过目不忘的记忆力，但我总是忘记给相机充电。
3. "I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it." 我正在进行海鲜饮食法。
我看到食物就吃。
4. "I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure." 我以前很犹豫不决，但现在我不确定了。
5. "I want to be like a caterpillar and eat leaves all day. But then I remember I'm not a caterpillar." 我想像毛毛虫一样整天吃叶子。
但我又想起我不是毛毛虫。
6. "I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed." 我太擅长睡觉了，我可以闭着眼睛做。
7. "My doctor told me to stop having香辣鸡翅 for breakfast. But I said,'Doc, it's the only thing that keeps me going in the morning!'" 我的医生告诉我不要再把香辣鸡翅当早餐吃了。
但我说，“医生，这是早上唯一能让我有动力的东西！”8. "I've been told I have a good sense of humor, but I don't get the joke." 有人告诉我我很有幽默感，但我不明白这个笑话。
英语幽默笑话
英语幽默笑话英语幽默笑话（精选15篇） 在繁忙的学习⼯作中，适时读⼀些幽默笑话，放松⾃⼰，劳逸结合⼗分重要。
下⾯是⼩编为你整理的⼏则英语幽默精彩段⼦，让你笑到停不下来 英语幽默笑话篇1 ⼀、我是单⾝汉 Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt.A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms.Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked."Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor." 杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.⼀位年轻美貌的护⼠拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护⼠问."有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单⾝汉." ⼆、死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭 Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho. Husband:It's okey.To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals. 妻⼦：你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的⼈80%都是喝酒的. 丈夫：那有什么?据我调查,死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭的. 三、位置上的冰激凌 "Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine." "Yours?Can you prove it?" "Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it." "请原谅,你占了我的位置." "你的位置?你能征明这点吗?" "能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌." 四、别⽆选择 One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?" Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?" ⼀天,夏娃问亚当："你当真爱我吗?" 亚当⽆可奈何地回答："我还有的选择吗?" 五、两个男孩 Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says,"Why are you arguing?" One boy answers,"We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher,"When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher. 当⽼师⾛进教室时,两个男孩在争论. ⽼师是说：你们在争论什么? ⼀个男孩回答：‘我们捡到⼀张10块,我们决定把它给⼀个说最⼤的谎的⼈.’ ‘你们应该觉得羞耻’⽼师说,‘当我像你们那么⼤的时候,我连什么是说谎都不知道.’ 两个男孩把钱给了那个⽼师. 六、两只鸟 Teacher:Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which? Student:I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher:Please tell us. Student:The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. ⽼师：这⼉有两只鸟,⼀只是⿇雀.谁能指出哪只是燕⼦,哪只是⿇雀吗? 学⽣：我指不出,但我知道答案. ⽼师：请说说看. 学⽣：燕⼦旁边的`就是⿇雀,⿇雀旁边的就是燕⼦. 七、鱼⽹ "Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. "你能告诉我鱼⽹是什么做的吗," ⽼师发问道. "把许多⼩孔⽤绳⼦栓在⼀起就成了鱼⽹了." ⼩⼥孩回答道. ⼋、他赢了 Tommy:How is your little brother,Johnny?Johnny:He is ill in bed.He hurt himself. Tommy:That's too bad.How did that happen? Johnny:We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won. 汤姆：约翰尼,你⼩弟弟好吗? 约翰尼：他害病卧床了.他受了伤. 汤姆：真糟糕,怎么回事⼉? 约翰尼：我们做游戏,看谁能把⾝⼦探出窗外最远,他赢了. 选我吧 英语幽默笑话篇2 ⼼不在焉的⽼师 An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street withone foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said： “Good evening，professor.How are you? “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.” 有⼀天，⼈们看见⼀个有名的⼼不在焉的⽼师在路上⾛，他的⼀只脚⼀直踏在街沟⾥，另⼀只脚踩在⼈⾏道上。
超级搞笑的英语幽默笑话_英语诗歌
超级搞笑的英语幽默笑话除了民间口头流传的笑话外,成书的笑话集也是读书人经史子集之外不可或缺的闲趣。
下面是店铺带来的超级搞笑的英语幽默笑话，欢迎阅读!超级搞笑的英语幽默笑话篇一Put Yourself in My place 设身处地替人想一想Down on the farm, Mom told Dad to fix the outhouse. Dad took a look at the shitter and returned to Mom.某一农场上，老妈要老爸去修理茅房。
老爸只瞧了茅房一眼就回来了。
“There ain’t nothin’ wrong with that shithouse, Mom.”“那个茅房什么问题也没有啊，孩子的娘。
”Mom took Dad back to the outhouse and stuck his head down in the hole.老妈将老爸带回茅房，把他的头塞进茅坑当中。
“Hey,” said Dad, “my beard is stuck!”“嘿!”老爸说道“，我的胡子粘住了!”“Aggravatin’, ain’t it?”“问题严重了，是不是呢?”超级搞笑的英语幽默笑话篇二A Satisfied Customer 一位心满意足的客户A rough-looking fellow strolled into the bank and walked up to the teller.“I wanna open a god-damned checking account.”有一位相貌粗鲁的家伙走进银行对柜台职员说：“我想开个你他妈的活期存款账户。
”“Certainly, sir,” replied the young lady, “but there’s no need to use that kind of language.”“当然可以啦，先生，”年轻的小姐回答说“，但没有必要使用那种字眼。
2024年英语爆笑小笑话带翻译
They always give the bigger piece to the other person. answered his aunt at once.
Oh said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,Cut this cake in half, Catherine..
迪克年龄七岁，他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁。一天，妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩，自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服。
孩子们玩了个把小时，在四点半的.时候，姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房。她交给迪克一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子，并对他说：喏，迪克，给你刀子，把这块蛋糕一切为二，给你妹妹一块。不过，你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样。
迪克问：像一个绅士?绅士怎样做呢?
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗?
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
2024年英语爆笑小笑话带翻译
英语爆笑小笑话带翻译一：How to be like a gentleman
Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话5篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语爆笑笑话一：Hospitality好客The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-piewithout any cheese.由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。
The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returnedwith a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。
过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。
The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You musthave better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?"客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪?”"In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.“在捕鼠夹上，先生。
”那小男孩说。
英语爆笑笑话二：太黑了，看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?”过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
英语搞笑笑话6篇
英语搞笑笑话6篇幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。
笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古。
下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话一：How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。
孩子们齐声回答：“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗?”回答还是：“不能!”“好吧，”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行!”英语搞笑笑话二：I Want Her to go NutsMrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.""But you're not wearing any of those things.""I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die beforemy husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。
英语笑话带翻译爆笑
你怎么称运用了音近字的幽默效果，让人在语言的玩味中得到欢乐。
通过学习这些英语笑话，不仅可以轻松缓解学习压力，还能够提升我们对英语语言的敏感度、培养我们的幽默感。因此，学习英语笑话是非常有趣的一种学习方式。希望大家在学习英语的过程中可以多多尝试，感受不一样的英语魅力。
英语笑话带翻译爆笑
笑话是人们生活中不可或缺的一部分，它可以让人放松心情，快乐心情。而在学习英语的过程中，学习一些英语笑话不仅可以帮助我们更好地理解语言，还能增加学习的乐趣。下面就给大家介绍一些经典的英语笑话，以及它们的中文翻译，一起来感受一下英语幽默的魅力吧！
1. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
4. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
为什么骷髅不互相打架？
它们没有胆量。
这个笑话利用了“guts”（胆量）和“guts”（内脏）的双关语，十分巧妙地将内脏和勇气联系在了一起，给人一种突如其来的幽默感。
5. What do you call fake spaghetti?
Because it was two-tired!
为什么自行车站不起来？
因为它两个轮胎都平了！
这个笑话使用了双关语，将“tired”（疲倦的）和“tired”（轮胎瘪了）进行了巧妙的结合。这样的笑话不仅能够让人忍俊不禁，还能让学习者在欣赏笑话的同时加深对于英语语言的理解。
2. What did one wall say to the other wall?
“I’ll meet you at the corner.”
20个英语笑话爆笑超短
20个英语笑话爆笑超短1.Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!2.I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.3.What did the grape say after the elephant sat on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.4.How does a penguin build its house?Igloos it together!5.Why don’t skeletons fight each other?They don’t have the guts!6.Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!7.Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!8.Why don’t eggs tell jokes?Because they might crack up!9.Why was the math book sad?Because it had too many problems!10.What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?An abdominal snowman!11.Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?It was two-tired!12.How does a cucumber become a pickle?It goes through a jarring experience!13.What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear!14.Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?Because he was always spotted!15.Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negativenumbers?He will stop at nothing to avoid them!16.Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?Because then they would be bagels!17.What kind of tree fits in your hand?A palm tree!18.Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?Because they taste funny!19.How do you organize a space party?You planet!20.Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!以上是20个英语笑话爆笑超短的集合。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏
20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏一些幽默的英语笑话，能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣，从而提高英语的阅读能力，今天店铺在这里为大家分享20个英语笑话爆笑超短，希望大家喜欢这些英语笑话!20个英语笑话爆笑超短篇一1.Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。
”“不要相信梦，亲爱的。
据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。
”妈妈答道。
“那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。
”汤姆说。
2.On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。
带英文的笑话
带英文的笑话在这个快节奏的现代社会，幽默和轻松的笑话成为人们日常生活中减压的良药。
而带有英文元素的笑话则给人们带来了一种跨文化的娱乐享受。
下面我将分享几个带有英文的笑话，让大家一起愉快地笑一笑。
1.美食烦恼Two friends were chatting about their favorite food.Friend 1: "I love Italian food!"Friend 2: "Oh, me too! Pizza, pasta, tiramisu...they are all so delicious!"Friend 1: "Agreed! But you know what's even harder? Trying to lose weight while loving Italian food!"Friend 2: "Haha, that's true! Italian food is a carb-enigma!"这个笑话描绘了两个朋友在讨论美食的时候的对话。
他们都喜欢意大利菜，但同时又面临着减肥的困扰。
其中的“carb-enigma”（碳水化合物之谜）一词将意大利美食的高碳水化合物含量与减肥的矛盾巧妙地结合在一起，让人忍俊不禁。
2.熊猫的英语A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air."Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it overhis shoulder."I'm a panda," he says, at the door. "Look it up."The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. "Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."这个笑话讲述了一只熊猫走进咖啡馆，吃完三明治后拔枪朝天开了两枪，然后辞别离开。
英语幽默笑话句子
英语幽默笑话句子1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.2. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!3. Why don't skeletons fight? They don't have the guts.4. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.5. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.6. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!7. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.8. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!9. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.10. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!11. How do you organize a space party? You "planet"!12. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.13. What did the big flower say to the little flower? "Hi, bud!"14. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.15. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!16. Why don't skeletons fight? They don't have the guts.17. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.18. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.19. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.20. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!21. I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.22. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.23. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.24. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? Because all the fans left.25. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!26. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crumby.27. What do you call a snobbish criminal going downstairs? A condescending con descending.28. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.29. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!30. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!31. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.32. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.33. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!34. Why don't skeletons fight? They don't have the guts.35. How do you fix a broken tomato? Tomato paste.36. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.37. What did one wall say to the other? "I'll meet you at the corner."38. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.39. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!40. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.41. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!42. What do cows do for fun? They go to the moooo-vies.43. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!44. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.45. How do you organize a space party? You "planet"!46. What did the big flower say to the little flower? "Hi, bud!"47. Why don't ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies.48. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.49. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!50. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!总结：以上提供了50个英语幽默笑话句子，希望能给你带来一些欢乐和轻松的时刻。
英语笑话大全爆笑
英语笑话大全爆笑笑话一：Doctor's AdviceA man visited his doctor and complained about feeling tired all the time. The doctor asked, "Do you exercise regularly?" The man replied, "Well, I do shake my legs when I'm watching TV!" The doctor chuckled and said, "That's not exactly what I meant. You should try some physical activities like jogging or swimming." The man hesitated for a moment and then replied, "Doctor, do you think I should take up jogging or just sign up for the Olympics?"笑话二：Lost in TranslationA Chinese tourist was traveling in America and decided to visit a fast food restaurant. He approached the counter and asked the cashier, "Do you serve Chinese food here?" The cashier replied, "No, we only serve American food." The tourist looked puzzled and asked, "But isn't this America? Shouldn't all the food be American?" The cashier burst into laughter and explained, "Well, Chinese food is popular here, but it's still considered Chinese!"笑话三：The Smart ParrotA man bought a parrot and bragged to his friends about how intelligent it was. He claimed that the parrot could answer any question. Intrigued, his friends decided to test the parrot. One of them asked, "What's 2 + 2?" The parrot remained silent. The man laughed nervously and said, "He's just a bit shy, let me try again." He asked, "What's the capital of France?" Again, theparrot didn't respond. Frustrated, the man exclaimed, "See? He's probably just tired!" Suddenly, the parrot turned to him and said, "Or maybe you're just asking stupid questions!"笑话四：The Forgetful ProfessorA professor was giving a lecture to his students and asked a question. He waited for a response but received none. Puzzled, he asked again, "Come on, anyone?" One brave student finally raised his hand and said, "Sorry, professor, we can't answer because you haven't asked a question yet." The professor burst into laughter, realizing his mistake. He replied, "Well, that explains why I haven't received any correct answers all semester!"笑话五：The Talking DogA man walked into a bar with a dog and claimed that it can talk. Skeptical, the bartender said, "If your dog can really talk, I'll give you free drinks for a week." The man agreed and turned to the dog, asking, "What's on top of a house?" The dog barked, "Roof!" The man continued, "What's the opposite of smooth?" The dog barked again, "Rough!" The bartender was amazed but wanted to test further. He asked, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog quickly replied, "Ruth!" The bartender was astounded and immediately poured free drinks for the man. As they enjoyed their drinks, the man turned to the dog and said, "You know, I should have taught you to say 'Babe Ruth.'"这里提供了五个英语笑话，希望能给你带来欢乐。
英文爆笑笑话6篇
英文爆笑笑话6篇下面小编给大家整理的英文爆笑笑话六篇，希望大家会喜欢。
英文爆笑笑话一：Lose One Pound减掉一磅I complimented one of my co-workers on having lost ten pounds. However, I couldn't resist bragging that when I was 17, 1 weighed 225 pounds and today I tip the scales at 224. 1 added, "That's not bad for a man of my age."Overhearing this, a woman remarked, "You mean to say it took you all this time to lose one pound?"我称赞我的一个同事减肥10磅。
可是，我禁不住夸耀说我17岁时，体重225磅，而目前体重是224磅。
我还说：“这对我这样年龄的男子来说，是不错的。
”一个女子听到了这些话，她说道：“你是说你花了这么长时间才减了1磅?”英文爆笑笑话二：The doctor lives downstairs医生住在楼下"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。
英文笑话带翻译爆笑
2. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
怎么让纸巾跳舞呢？你往上放点音乐
3. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
英文笑话带翻译爆笑
笑话是生活中的调剂品，能够给人带来欢乐和放松。而英文笑话更是不同国家和地区都能理解的笑话形式，让人们在跨国交流中也能共享欢乐。下面就给大家带来一些经典的英文笑话，并附上中文翻译，一起来欣赏一下吧！
1. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
你怎样称呼不是你的奶酪呢？墨西哥煎玉米饼奶酪。
6. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
我告诉我妻子她应该接受自己的错误，她给了我一个拥抱。
以上是一些笑话不仅仅能给我们带来快乐，还能锻炼我们的英语听力和理解能力。希望大家在学习英语的道路上能够轻松愉快，充满笑声！
听说游乐场有绑架事件吗？他们醒来了。
4. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
为什么骷髅不打架呢？因为他们没有胆量。
5. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.
英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译
英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，以供大家学习参考。
英语搞笑笑话：传教士买鹦鹉A preacher is buying a parrotA preacher is buying a parrot.一个传教士在买鹦鹉。
"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。
"Oh absolutely. He's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.“噢，绝对不会。
它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。
”店主向他保证。
"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."“你看见它腿上的那些细绳了吗?当你拉动右边这根，它会背诵天主经;当你拉动左边那根，它会背诵赞美诗。
”"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"“太棒了!”传教士说，“但是如果我同时拉动两根绳子，会发生什么呢?”"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.“我会从树干上掉下去，你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。
英语搞笑笑话：谁才是有色人种Dear white, something you got to know亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。
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I want a nightmare想做坏梦
Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passedtoday's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns outtobetheopposite."Motherreplied."ThenIdohopeI'llfailtheothersubjectsinmydream tonight," Tom said.
在期末考试之前，xx告诉他的母亲：
“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。
”“不要相信梦，亲爱的。
据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。
”妈妈答道。
“那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。
”汤姆说。
Littlebrother:
Isawyoukissmyeldersister,andifyoudon'tgivemeanickelI'lltellmyfather.Sister's boyfriend:
No, don't do that. Here's a nickel.Little brother:
That makes a buck and aquarter I've made this month.
弟弟：
我看见你亲我姐姐了，如果你不给我五分钱，我就告诉我爸。
姐姐的男朋友：
不要那样做。
给你五分钱。
弟弟：
我这个月已经赚了一块两毛五了。
Lucky Mother幸运的母亲
一位年轻的母亲认为，世界上还有许多受饥饿的人，浪费食物真不应该。
有天晚上，在安排幼小的女儿睡觉之前，她给女儿喂夜宵。
她先给她一片新鲜的黑面包和黄油，但孩子说她不喜欢这样吃。
她还要一些果酱涂在面包上。
母
亲看了女儿几秒钟，随即说道，露茜，当我象你一样小的时候，总是吃面包加黄油，或者面包加果酱，从来没有面包既加黄油又加果酱。
露茜看了母亲一会儿，眼中露出怜悯的神情，然后她柔声说：
您现在能跟我们生活在一起难道不感到高兴吗？
A Gentle Reminder委婉提醒
Havingbeenmarriedalongtime,myhusbandsometimesneedsagentlereminderofas pecialoccasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when
Ihinted,"Honey,doyourealizethatwe'vebeensittinginthesametwoseatsforexactly35yea rs?"
Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"婚后已久，我丈夫往往在一个特别事情上需要委婉的提醒。
在我们结婚35周年纪念的早上，我们正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：
“亲爱的，你意识到我们在这两个相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了吗？”
他放下报纸，眼睛直直地望着我：
“因此，你想交换座位吗？”
一分一块钱A dollar per point
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and wentback to his desk to wait.
Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one ofthe students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."Thenextclasstheprofessorhandedthetestsbackout.Thisstudentgotbackhistesta nd$64change.
一天，教授正在给学生们监考。
他发下试卷，然后回到讲台前等待。
考试结束了，学生们纷纷交回试卷。
教授发现一张试卷上别着一张百元钞票，还有一张纸条写着：
“一分一块钱。
”
第二堂课，教授把试卷都发回学生们手中。
其中一个学生不但得到了试卷还得到64块钱的找零。
（派乐多英语提供，更多感兴趣的内容，请访问：
派乐多英语）。