初中英语笑话--最新版

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中学生爆笑英文小笑话大全

中学生爆笑英文小笑话大全

中学生爆笑英文小笑话大全笑话(анекдот)是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。

透过笑话我们可以看到一个民族的生存环境、生活方式、社会关系和心理特征等等。

小编精心收集了中学生爆笑英文小笑话,供大家欣赏学习!中学生爆笑英文小笑话篇1The teacher told the class the story of a man who swam a river three times beforebreakfast.Johnny laughed."Do you doubt that a good swimmer could do that?" asked theteacher."No, sir," answered Johnny, "but I wonder why he did not swim it four times and getback to the side where his clothes were."老师给同学们讲了一个小故事,说有一个人早饭前要在河里游泳,横渡三趟。

约翰尼笑了。

老师问道:“你不相信一个游泳很好的人可以做到么?”约翰尼回答说:“不是的,先生,我是不明白他为什么不游四次,好回到他放衣服的那边。

”中学生爆笑英文小笑话篇2Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Everyday, thousands of people passed his door,and a lot of them stopped and asked him, "What's the time, please?"丹在一个大城市的某个俱乐部当守门人。

每天都有数千人经过他的门口,而且许多人都会停下来问他:“请问现在几点?”After a few months, Dan said to himself, "I'm not going to answer all those stupid people anymore. I'm going to buy a big clock and put it upon the wall here." Then he did so.几个月后,丹想:“我不想再回答这些蠢人提出的问题了,我要去买一只大钟,把它挂在这儿的墙上。

7年级英文小笑话精选

7年级英文小笑话精选

7年级英文小笑话精选民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。

本文是7年级英文小笑话,希望对大家有帮助!7年级英文小笑话:My Wife Will Exchange ThemA gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.″Cloth or leather?″ asked the salesperson.″Makes no difference? ″replied customer.″What color?″ asked the clerk.″Any?″ he responded.″Size?″″Give me whatever you prefer?″ the gentleman said? slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″反正我太太明天会来换的一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。

“您是要布的还是皮的?”售货员问。

“没什么区别。

”这位顾客回答。

“那您要什么颜色的呢?”售货员又问。

“什么颜色都成。

”他回答。

“号码呢?”“您就随便给我拿一副吧,”这位顾客有点不耐烦了,“反正我太太明天都会来换的。

”7年级英文小笑话:老板和秘书It was her first job as a secretary. Her short hand wasn’t bad, and her typing was quite good. But the boss noticed that she never answered the telephone. It rang and rang, and she never touched it.“why don’t you answer it?” he called at last.She came to the door of his office. “because it’s always for you,” she daid.她的第一个工作是做秘书。

2023英语讲小笑话,3篇

2023英语讲小笑话,3篇

2023英语讲小笑话,3篇(范例推荐)英语讲的小笑话1雇主和雇员Workman: “Mr. Brown, I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages.I have just been married."Employer: "Very sorry, my dear man, but I can"t help you. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside the factory we are not responsible."工人:“布朗先生,我想请您给我加一点工资。

我刚刚结了婚。

”雇主:“非常抱歉,老兄,但是我无能为力。

对工人在厂外发生的`事故我们概不负责。

”英语讲的小笑话2第一次开出租车A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath1, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.The driver said, "Look mate, don"t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn"t realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver replied, "Sorry, it"s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I"ve been drivinga funeral van for the last 25 years."乘客轻拍了一下出租车司机的肩膀,想问个问题。

英语小笑话适合初一的

英语小笑话适合初一的

英语小笑话适合初一的笑话是一种用来逗笑取乐的文体。

笑话,不仅能让同学们在日常生活和学习中不时地会心一笑,还能从中学习到不少的英语知识。

小编精心收集了适合初一的英语小笑话,供大家欣赏学习!适合初一的英语小笑话篇1白痴老师If there are any idiots in the room,will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher .喜爱挖苦人的老师说:“如果在这间教室里面有白痴,就请站起来好吗?”。

After a long silence,one rreshman rose to his feet,沉默了很久之后,有一名新生就站起来了。

"Now then mister ,why do you consider yourself an idiot? "enquired the teacher with a sneer.老师就以讥笑的口气问他:“喂,先生,你为什么认为你自己是个白痴呀?”"Well ,actually I don't,"said the student ,"but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."这名学生说:“ 唉呀,实际上我才不认为我是个白痴呢,而是我很讨厌看着你一个人站在那里啦。

”适合初一的英语小笑话篇2交换三明治Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks.有两位律师走进一家小餐厅。

点了两份饮料。

Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.然后他们就从他们的公文包当中拿出三明治开始吃。

The waiter became quite concerned服务生感到相当不妥,and marched over and told them,"You can't eat your own sandeiches in here!"就走过去告诉他们:“你们不可以在这里吃你们自己的三明治!”The attorneys looked each other ,这两位律师彼此。

英语小笑话 带翻译

英语小笑话 带翻译
笑话三中,“gummy bear”一词既可以指果冻熊(一种美国产的以果胶为胶体基质凝固制成的糖果),也可以表示没有牙齿的熊。这个笑话也是通过双关的方式,将不同的词语联系在一起,形成了幽默效果。
笑话四中,“home”既可以指家,也可以指“归宿”,所以员工中奖后“去家里了”也可以理解为“找到了自己的归宿”。这个笑话利用了“home”这个词的双重含义,变相映射了中奖后员工的行为。
Because it had too many problems.
为什么数o you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
你怎么称呼一个没有牙齿的熊?
果冻熊。
笑话四:What did the employee do after winning the lottery?
笑话五中,“held up”一词既可以指阻碍、延误,也可以指抢劫。所以这个笑话的双关在于通过皮带的“支撑”和“阻碍”之间的联系,制造了一种幽默效果。
总结来说,这几个笑话利用了英语的语言特点,通过双关的方式,让人在听到笑话的瞬间产生一种意想不到的幽默感。这也正是英语笑话的魅力所在,通过语言的巧妙运用,创造出了一种诙谐的氛围,让人忍俊不禁。希望大家在学习英语的同时,多多接触英语笑话,感受英语语言的魅力。
英语小笑话 带翻译
笑话一:Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
老师:你爸爸有没有帮你做功课?
学生:没有,是他自己全部做的。
笑话二:Why was the math book sad?
笑话一中,学生回答“他自己全部做的”是指他的父亲没有帮助他,但也可以理解为“他”指的是学生的父亲,他自己做了所有的功课。这是一个双关的笑话,利用了英语中的语言特点,呈现了一种幽默的效果。

八年级好笑的英语笑话_10条最短的英语笑话

八年级好笑的英语笑话_10条最短的英语笑话

八年级好笑的英语笑话_10条最短的英语笑话笑话是一种用来逗笑取乐的文体。

笑话,不仅能让同学们在日常生活和学习中不时地会心一笑,还能从中学习到不少的知识。

下面是小编整理的八年级好笑的英语笑话,欢迎阅读!八年级好笑的英语笑话篇一The Mean Man’s PartyThe notorious(声名狼藉的,臭名昭著的) cheap skate(小气鬼) finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow(肘部,扶手) . When the door open, push with your foot.Why use my elbow and foot?Well, gosh, was the reply, You’re not coming empty-handed, are you?吝啬鬼的聚会一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。

他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说:你上到五楼,用你的胳膊肘按门铃。

门开了后,再用你的脚把门推开。

为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢?天哪!吝啬鬼说,难道你还能空着手来吗?能吗?八年级好笑的英语笑话篇二Mr. Brown was reading his evening paper when there came a tremendous banging down the stairs. He jumped up, ran to the hall, and discovered his schoolboy son sprawled on the floor.Did you miss a step? asked his dad.No, I caught every blessed one! came the bitter answered.布朗先生在看晚报,忽然传来一阵什么东西从楼上摔下来的响声。

适合初中学生的英语笑话

适合初中学生的英语笑话

适合初中学生的英语笑话从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的调剂品,它使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松。

本文是适合初中学生的英语笑话,希望对大家有帮助!适合初中学生的英语笑话篇一WomenA Sikh, an Italian & a Frenchman were drinking in a pub when the subject ofWOMAN came up in their conversation.The Italian said, in Italy we treat the woman like a guitar. We press the top & tickle the bottom.The Frenchman said, in France, we treat the woman like cognac. We smell first & then lick slowly. What about the woman in your country,Mr Singh?The Italian asked.In our country, we treat the woman like a record. First we play the front &/when we finish, we flip it over & play the back.适合初中学生的英语笑话篇二Bill GatesBill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by God"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do somethingI've never done before; in your case, I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."Bill replied, " Well, what's the difference between the two?"God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision.""Fine, but where should I go first?""I'll leave that up to you.""Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first."So Bill went to Hell.It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining, the temperature perfect. He was very pleased."This is great!" he told God. "If this is hell, I REALLY want to see heaven!""Fine," said God, and off they went. Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision."Hmmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told God. "Fine," retorted God, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, God decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons."How's everything going?" he asked Bill.Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment,"this is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beaches, the beautiful women playing in the water "That was the SCREENSAVER," replied God.适合初中学生的英语笑话篇三CoincidenceA man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a triple martini. The bartender says "What a coincidence, the only other person at the bar is that beautiful woman at the other end. She is also drinking triple martinis".After a few sips of his drink, the man walks up to the woman and says, "Isn't it a coincidence that we are both having the same drink".She replies "Yes! I am here because I am celebrating. After 20 years of trying I am finally pregnant!""What a coincidence" the man replied. "I am also celebrating.After years of experimenting, I have invented a multicolored chicken. At this, the woman asked "How did you ever accomplish that!?"."I had to try a lot of different cocks" he said. The woman replied"What a coincidence"适合初中学生的英语笑话篇四son-in-lawA 60 year old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her bedroom. She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter playing with a vibrator. "What are you doing?" asked the mother."Mom, I'm 40 years old, and look at me. I'm ugly. I'll never get married so this is pretty much my husband." The mother walked out of the room shaking her head.The next day, the father came home and heard noises in the bedroom. Upon entering the room, he found his daughter using the vibrator."What the hell are you doing he asked.His daughter replied, "I already told mom. I'm 40 years old now and I'm ugly. I will never get married so this is as close as I'll ever get to a husband." The father walked out of the room shaking his head.The next day, the mother came home and found her husband with a beer in one hand and the vibrator in the other watching the football game onTV. "What on Earth are you doing?" she cried.The husband replied, "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm having a beer and watching the football game with my son-in-law!!"。

关于初中的英语笑话带翻译

关于初中的英语笑话带翻译

关于初中的英语笑话带翻译笑话是幽默的一个属概念,具有幽默的一切特征。

笑话是民族特有幽默的一种形式。

本文是关于初中的英语笑话带翻译,希望对大家有帮助!关于初中的英语笑话带翻译篇一How Did You Ever Get HereOne winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?""I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."你是怎样来的?一个冬天的早晨,一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。

“外面太滑了,我每向前迈一步,就要向后退两步。

”老板狐疑地看着他。

“噢,是吗?那你是怎样到这里来的?”“后来我决定放弃,”他说,“然后我就往家里走。

”关于初中的英语笑话带翻译篇二Three SurgeonsThree famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. "A man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one. "Today that man is a concert violinist.""That's nothing," said another. "A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner.""I can top both of you," said the third. "One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. There was nothing left but a horse's posterior - and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in United States Senate."三个外科医生三个有名的外科医生正在吹嘘他们的技术。

【笑话】关于英语幽默笑话短_幽默笑话短信

【笑话】关于英语幽默笑话短_幽默笑话短信

关于英语幽默笑话短_幽默笑话短信在这个快节奏的生活中,找点乐子成了我们不可或缺的调味剂。

而英语幽默笑话,就像是那杯午后的咖啡,提神又醒脑,让人在不经意间笑出声。

今天,就让我带你走进那些让人捧腹的英语幽默笑话,一起感受那些简单却充满智慧的快乐瞬间,说不定还能笑出腹肌呢!一、误解也疯狂记得有一次,我在一个国际交友平台上遇到了一个英国朋友,名叫Tom。

我们聊得很投机,直到有一天,他给我发了一条信息:“I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse!” 我一看,心里咯噔一下,心想:“这哥们儿是不是饿疯了?要吃马?”正当我紧张地想要安慰他时,他突然发来一个笑脸符号,解释说:“哈哈,这是句英国俚语,意思是‘我饿得能吃下一头牛’!”我这才恍然大悟,原来英语里的表达有时候这么直接又夸张,让人忍俊不禁。

从那以后,每次我觉得饿极了,就会半开玩笑地说:“I could eat a horse too!”二、单词游戏的乐趣还有一次,我和几个英语爱好者朋友聚在一起玩“单词接龙”。

轮到我的时候,我灵光一闪,说了一个“banana”(香蕉)。

下一个朋友稍作思考,接了个“analyst”(分析师)。

轮到下一位时,他明显卡壳了,眉头紧锁。

我们都以为他要输了,结果他突然眼睛一亮,大喊:“Stop! I’ve got it! Spyglass!”(等等!我想到了!望远镜!)原来,他是把“analyst”倒过来念成了“tsylana”,然后巧妙地加上了“ss”和“pyg”变成了“spyglass”。

那一刻,我们都被他的机智逗乐了,这场游戏也因此变得更加有趣和富有挑战性。

三、短信里的幽默宝藏在手机短信盛行的年代,我也收到过不少让人捧腹的英语幽默短信。

其中一条至今让我记忆犹新:“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”(为什么科学家不信任原子?因为它们总是编造一切!)这句简短却充满讽刺意味的话,用科学的术语包装了一个日常生活中的笑话,让人在会心一笑的同时,也感受到了英语的魅力。

[英语笑话带翻译简短的]英语短笑话带翻译初中

[英语笑话带翻译简短的]英语短笑话带翻译初中

[英语笑话带翻译简短的]英语短笑话带翻译初中简短的英语笑话带翻译篇1A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice:有一名男子正走在街上的时候听到一个声音:“Stop!Stand still!If you take one more step,a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."“停!站住不要动瞅口果你再走一步,就会有一个砖块掉到你的头上砸死你。

”The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.这名男子停住了,一个大砖块就掉在他的面前。

The man was astonished .这名男子非常惊讶。

He went on,and after a while he was going to cross the road.他继续向前走:不久后,他要穿越马路。

Once again the voice shouted;那个声音再次叫说:Stop!Stand still!If you take one more step a car will over you and you will die."“停!站住不要动,如果你再走一步,就会有一辆汽车辗过你,你就会死掉。

”The man did as he was instructed,这名男子因为曾被指示过,所以就照着做,just as a car came careening around the corner,barely missing him.此时正好有一辆汽车左摇右晃地冲过转角处,差一点撞上他。

"Where are you? " the man asked,"Who are you? "这名男子问说:“你在哪里?你是谁?”"I am your guardian angle," the voice answered.这个声音回答说:“我是你的守护天使。

逗乐英语笑话通用一篇

逗乐英语笑话通用一篇

逗乐英语笑话通用一篇逗乐英语笑话 1逗乐英语笑话集锦(一)宁愿给你买一件礼物While on a trip, Mom realized that she had forgotten a present for Dad's birthday.旅途中,妈妈想起她忘记给爸爸买一件生日礼物。

“That's okay," he said, "The only thing I want is for you to love, honor and obey."“没关系”,他说,“我最想要的东西是你的爱、忠贞和温顺”。

Mom pondered that idea and then replied "I'd rather buy you a gift."妈妈沉思片刻后回答说,“我宁愿给你买一件礼物”。

逗乐英语笑话集锦(二)There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow.曾经有只蜗牛,它对自己动作慢的名声感到了厌恶和疲倦。

Hedecided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference.他决心去弄些跑得飞快的轮子来改变这种境况。

After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get.逛了一圈之后,它决定买Datson 240-Z。

So the snail goes to the nearest Datsundealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S".去了最近的Datsun经销店,去买Datson 240-Z,但是它想把这辆车重新刷漆,改称240-S。

英语搞笑笑话6篇

英语搞笑笑话6篇

英语搞笑笑话6篇幽默寓于笑话之中,它是笑话的精料,智慧之所在。

笑话是幽默的载体,一个成功的笑话能流传千古。

下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话一:How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了,在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人,我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。

孩子们齐声回答:“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂,给院子的草坪割草,并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁,我会上天堂吗?”回答还是:“不能!”“好吧,”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道:“你得死了才行!”英语搞笑笑话二:I Want Her to go NutsMrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.""But you're not wearing any of those things.""I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die beforemy husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。

初中英文小笑话及翻译

初中英文小笑话及翻译

初中英文小笑话及翻译前苏联著名作家高尔基说过,“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。

”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。

小编精心收集了初中英文小笑话及翻译,供大家欣赏学习!初中英文小笑话及翻译篇1相同的投资相同的结果A couple of hunters chartered a small plane to fly them to a forest, and made an appointment with the pilot to come back and fetch them in about two weeks. At the end of the two weeks, they had shot a lot of animals that they wanted to load onto the plane. But the pilot said, "This plane won't be able to take more than one wild buffalo. You'll have to leave the others behind." Then the hunters protested, saying, "But last year, another pilot with the same airplane let us take two buffalos and some other animals in the plane as well."有两个猎人包机前往一座森林,到了以后,他们和飞行员约定好两周后来接。

两周后,他们射了许多动物,而且打算把这些动物全部搬上那架小飞机,可是飞行员说:“这架飞机除了一头野牛外,没办法再多载了。

你们必须把其他的猎物都留下。

” 猎人说:“但是去年另一个飞行员开一样的飞机,就让我们带两只水牛,还有一些其他的动物上机!”So the new pilot thought about it. He was a little bit skeptical, but finally he said, "OK, since you did it last year, I guess this year we can do it again." Then he loaded the two buffalos and a few other animals in, and the plane took off. Five minutes later, it crashed in a neighboring area. The three men climbed out and looked around, and one hunter said to the other, "Where do you think we are now?" The second one surveyed the area and said, "I think we're about one mile to the left of the place we crashedlast year." 因为他们这样抗议,所以那个新飞行员想了一想后,尽管还是有点存疑,最后还是妥协说:“好吧!如果去年可以做到,今年应该也可以。

英语幽默笑话集锦

英语幽默笑话集锦

英语幽默笑话集锦笑话1:鸡蛋的问题小明问小华:“你怎么知道一个鸡蛋是生的还是熟的?”小华:“很简单,我把鸡蛋放进水里,如果浮起来就是生的,如果沉下去就是熟的。

”小明:“那如果鸡蛋半浮半沉呢?”小华:“那就是半生不熟。

”笑话2:打电话小明用英语给外国朋友打电话:“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友说:“I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.”小明再打一次:“Hello! Is it Mrs. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友愤怒地说:“No, I told you already, you have the wrong number!”小明再打一次:“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友非常生气:“I can’t believe you called me again! This is not Mr. Brown’s residence!”小明笑着说:“I know, but I just love hearing you say it!”笑话3:父亲的损失小明的父亲对他说:“小明,你知道我为什么戴假发吗?”小明好奇地问:“为什么呢?”父亲严肃地回答:“因为我是个有发言权的人。

”笑话4:天堂和地狱有一天,人们来到上帝面前询问天堂和地狱的存在。

他们问上帝:“天堂和地狱是什么样子的?”上帝微笑着回答:“我带你们去看一看。

”首先,上帝打开了通向地狱的门。

门一打开,他们看到里面是一个宴会厅,摆满了美食和饮料,但每个人手中都拿着又长又粗的筷子,无法把食物送入嘴中。

接着,上帝带着他们去了天堂。

天堂的门打开后,他们看到了和地狱一样的情景,宴会厅里也是美食和饮料满满,每个人同样手中拿着又长又粗的筷子。

但人们却高兴地吃得很满足,因为在天堂里,他们都学会了相互喂食。

笑话5:自动售货机小明走到一个自动售货机前,看见上面写着:“请用英语选择您要购买的商品。

有关英语小笑话带翻译初中生可以理解

有关英语小笑话带翻译初中生可以理解

有关英语小笑话带翻译初中生可以理解在交际场合,能恰到好处地讲个笑话或自创一个幽默,不仅可以体现自己的语言水平,还可以提升个人魅力。

小编精心收集了有关英语小笑话带翻译,供大家欣赏学习!有关英语小笑话带翻译篇1Son: Mum ,if someone broke your best. vase what would you do?儿子:妈妈,如果有人打碎了你最好的花瓶,你会怎么办?Mum:I'd spank him and send him to bed without any supper!妈妈:我要揍他,还不让他吃晚饭就去睡觉!Son: Well,you' d better get the slipper. Dad's just broken it !儿子:好了,你准备好拖鞋吧,爸爸刚把那只花瓶摔碎了。

有关英语小笑话带翻译篇2Nurse: Don't you like your new baby sister, Johnny?保姆: 约翰尼,你难道不喜欢你新生的小妹妹?Johnny: She's all right, but I wish she had been a boy. Willie Smith had got a new sister, and now he'll think I'm trying to copy him.约翰尼: 她还可以,但要是个男孩就好了。

威利·史密斯有一个新生的小妹妹。

现在他该认为我又在跟他学了。

有关英语小笑话带翻译篇3Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johmmy,and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain that?妈妈: 约翰尼,我今天早上在橱子里放了两块点心。

带翻译的英语笑话

带翻译的英语笑话

带翻译的英语笑话笑话一:Coffee OrderA man walks into a coffee shop and says to the barista, "Can I have a coffee, but please make it very strong?"The barista nods and replies, "Sure, I can make it strong. How many coffee beans would you like me to use?"The man thinks for a moment and says, "Well, how about you just wave the coffee beans over the cup and I'll drink the air?"【翻译】一个男人走进咖啡店对咖啡师说:“我可以要一杯咖啡,但是请做得很浓吗?”咖啡师点点头回答:“当然,我可以做得很浓。

你希望我使用多少颗咖啡豆?”男人想了一会儿说:“嗯,你可以只是在杯子上面晃一下咖啡豆,然后我就喝空气好了。

”笑话二:Lost WalletA man walks into a police station and says, "Excuse me, I've lost my wallet."The police officer asks, "Okay, can you give me a description of your wallet?"The man replies, "Yes, it's black, rectangular, and it has my face on it."【翻译】一个男人走进警察局说:“对不起,我丢失了我的钱包。

20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏

20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏

20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏一些幽默的英语笑话,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天店铺在这里为大家分享20个英语笑话爆笑超短,希望大家喜欢这些英语笑话!20个英语笑话爆笑超短篇一1.Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.在期末考试之前,汤姆告诉他的母亲:“妈妈,我昨天晚上做了一个梦,梦见我通过了今天的考试。

”“不要相信梦,亲爱的。

据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。

”妈妈答道。

“那么,我真希望在今晚的梦中,我的其他功课都不及格。

”汤姆说。

2.On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上,幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。

初二好笑的英语笑话带翻译英语笑话100篇带翻译

初二好笑的英语笑话带翻译英语笑话100篇带翻译

初二好笑的英语笑话带翻译英语笑话100篇带翻译初二好笑的英语笑话带翻译篇一A man went into a deli shop and took a seat at the lunch counter.有一名男子走近一家熟食店,在吃午餐的柜台旁选了一个位置。

“Give me corned beef sandwich,”he ordered.他点餐时说:“给我来个腌牛肉三明治。

”“Corned beef sandwich is not on the menu,but I can give you a sandwich with corned beef in it,like our midnight Special.”“菜单上没有腌牛肉三明治,但是我可以给你一个里面有腌牛肉的三明治,像是我们的午夜特餐。

”;”What's a Midnight Special?““午夜特餐是什么?””A triple decker with cornedbeef,tongue,bologna,tomato,lettuce,onion,pockle andmayonnaise,on toaste d raisin bread.““有三层,里面是腌牛肉、牛舌、熏香肠、蕃茄、莴苣、洋葱、腌泡菜,还有美乃滋的三层烤葡萄干面包。

...”Could you just place a piece of corned beef between two slices of white bread and serve it tome on a plate?“”你可不可以在两片白面包中间只放一片腌牛肉,装在一个盘子上端给我吃?”“Why,sure!”Then,turning to the sandwich man ,“哦,当然可以。

啦!”接着他就转向制作三明治的人,he sang out:“One Midnighet Special.Make it one deck,hold thetongue,bolgna,tomato,lettuce,onion,pickle and mayonnaise,and make the raisinbreadwhite,untoasted!”大声喊出:“一个午夜特餐。

初二英语笑话

初二英语笑话

初⼆英语笑话初⼆英语笑话 初⼆英语笑话⼀: A middle aged couple is watching TV when a TVEvangelist(福⾳传教⼠) comes on and promises to heal the sick."If only you would pray with Him, place your right hand in the air, and place your left hand on the afflicted(折磨的)area, the Almighty Lord will heal you."So the man places his right hand in the air and his left hand on his crotch(胯部) and his wife says "Gee honey he said heal the sick, not raise the dead!" 初⼆英语笑话⼆: "I am in desperate need of help -- or I'll go crazy. We're living in a single room -- my wife, my children and my in-laws. So our nerves are on edge, we yell and scream at one another. The room is a hell.""Do you promise to do whatever I tell you?" said the Master gravely."I swear I shall do anything.""Very well. How many animals do you have?""A cow, a goat and six chickens.""Take them all into the room with you. Then come back after a week."Thedisciple(门徒,信徒) was appalled(惊骇的). But he had promised to obey! So he took the animals in. A week later he came back, apitiable(可怜的) figure, moaning(呻吟) , "I'm a nervous wreck. The dirt! Thestench(恶臭) ! The noise! We're all on the verge of madness!""Go back," said the Master, "and put the animals out."The man ran all the way home. And came back the following day, his eyes sparkling with joy. "How sweet life is! The animals are out. The home is a Paradise, so quiet and clean and roomy! 初⼆英语笑话三: A jackal(豺,⾛狗) who was going to be eaten by a lion. The jackal said to the lion: "No, please, you can't eat me! You can't eat me! This will be a great mistake. If you eat me, that'll be terrible, that will be a disaster, that will be the end of the world!"The lion was very puzzled and said: "How come? How come if I eat you, the world will end?"The jackal said:"Because if you eat me, that will be the end of the world for me!"【初⼆英语笑话】相关⽂章:11-2306-0110-0109-2009-1507-2807-2807-2707-2411-04。

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初中英语--精选笑话大全(实用篇)1. Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"两个猎人进森林里打猎,其中一个猎人不慎跌倒,两眼翻白,似已停止呼吸。

另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。

接线员沉着地说:“第一步,要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。

”于是,接线员在电话里听到一声枪响,然后听到那猎人接着问:“第二步怎办?”2.Let me take it downAn elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen .""Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."为我所用一头大象对一只小老鼠说:“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。

”“请再说一遍,让我把它记下来。

”老鼠说。

“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。

3.Watering Flower In RainTom:Why doyou have that watering can?Dan:I'm going to water the flowers.Tom:But it'd raining.Dan:That's OK.I'm wear-ing my raincoat.雨天浇花汤姆:你拿喷壶做什么?丹:我要去浇花。

汤姆:可是,在下雨呀!丹:没关系,我穿着雨衣呢!4. Two birlsTeacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.Teacher: Please tell us.Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.两只鸟老师:这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。

谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。

老师:请说说看。

学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

5、he Fish Net"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?""A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.鱼网"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安?" 老师发问道。

"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。

" 小女孩回答道。

6、T he New TeacherGeorge comes from school on the first of September."George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother."I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."新老师9月1日,乔治放学回到家里。

"乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗?" 妈妈问。

"妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。

"7、A physics ExaminationOnce in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.一次物理考试在一次物理考试时,当同学们都还在苦思冥想时,尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。

这个问题是:为什么在打雷时,我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声?尼克的回答是:因为眼睛在前,耳朵在后。

8.T oo Fast or Too SlowA man was driving at 130 miles an hour when a policeman overtook him."Was I driving too fast,officer?"the man asked."NO,"the policeman answered,"You were flying too slow."太慢或太快一个男人正在以130英里每小时的速度行驶,当一个警察看见他时,他问:“我开的太快了吗?警官。

”“不”,警察说,“你飞的太慢了。

”9.G ood BoyLittle Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。

“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。

“再给你两分钱。

可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”“她是个卖糖果的。

”10. Nest and HairMy sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. "What kind of bird?" my sister asked."I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child. "Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her ."Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "Notes:(1) inform v.告诉(2) nest n.窝;巢(3) description n.描述(4) encourage v.鼓励(5) resemble v. 相似;类似鸟窝与头发我姐姐是一位小学老师。

一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外的树上垒了个窝。

“是什么鸟呢?”我姐姐问她。

“我没看到鸟儿,老师,只看到鸟窝。

”那孩子回答说。

“那么,你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗?”我姐姐鼓励她道。

“哦,老师,就像你的头发一样。

”11.He WonTommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.他赢了汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?约翰尼:他害病卧床了。

他受了伤。

汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿?约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。

12.I Have His Ear in My PocketIvan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?""A kid bit me," replied Ivan."Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."他的耳朵在我衣兜里伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。

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