英语基础写作-如何润色句子

基础写作 15分 评分标准
Criteria Content（内容） Language（语言）
５ ４ ３
Marks
２ １
(是否包括所有提示要点, 是否用5句话表达全 文）
８ ０
７
６
５
４
３
２
１
(观点表达是否清晰、明确，句子是否得当)
Coherence（连贯） ２ １ ０
•
Mo Yan was born on February, 17th, 1995 in Gaomi County, Shandong Province, China. He published dozens of novels and Red Sorghum is his representative work. Mo Yan has a unique writing style and he combines realism with folk tales, and history with contemporary society. He was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 2012, and became the first Chinese writer to win such prize. Mo Yan pushed Chinese literature forward into the world, and made more people know Chinese culture and Chinese literature.
• With my teacher helping me, my English has greatly improved. Because my English has greatly improved, I'm sure I will go to a better university.
Step 2 Ways of polishing the sentence 1.从句
• 3. 深圳大学坐落在南山区，这是我的 理想大学。 • Shenzhen University is situated in Nanshan District, and it is my ideal university.
• Situated in Nanshan District, Shenzhen University is my ideal university.
• 5．由于老师的帮助，我的英语进步很大。 因为我的英语进步很大，我确信我能考上 更好的大学。 • Because my teacher helps me, my English has greatly improved. Because my Engபைடு நூலகம்ish has greatly improved, I'm sure I will go to a better university.
基础写作--如何润色句子
Learning Objectives
1
To learn to polish sentences in basic writing by using some methods (clauses从句, appositive同位语, and non-finite verb非谓语动词).
• 4.上周，我参观了深圳大学，我希望明年 我能考上深大。 • Last week, I paid a visit to Shenzhen University, and I hope I can be admitted to Shenzhen University next year. • Last week, I paid a visit to Shenzhen University, hoping to be admitted to Shenzhen University next year.
6.倒装句 inverted sentence
clause
润色 5.强调句 句子 emphatic sentence
4.同位语
2.非谓语动词
non-finite verb
appositive
3.with复合 结构
Step 3 Polish the writing
1. Read the following composition from a student.
2
To learn to cooperate with others.
Step 1 Lead-in
• 1.我们班有49人，其中最勤奋好学的是黄耿瑶， 她是我的学习榜样。 • There are 49 students in our class, and the most diligent and studious is Huang Gengyao, and she is my role model. • There are 49 students in our class, of whom the most diligent and studious is Huang Gengyao who is my role model.
• 2. 让我们印象深刻的是，严铭招每天早 上在校园内大声读英语。 • Yan Mingzhao reads English aloud in the school every day, and it impresses us a lot. • What impresses us a lot is that Yan Mingzhao reads English aloud in the school every day.
姓 名：莫言 国 籍：中国 出生日期：1955年2月17日 出 生 地：山东省高密市 作 品：发表了以《红高粱》（Red Sorghum）为代 表* 的数十部小说。 写作特色：将现实主义**与民间故事、历史和当代***社会 相融合。 主要成就：获得2012年度诺贝尔文学奖，成为该奖项的首 位中国籍作家。 影 响：推动中国文学走向世界，让更多的人了解中国