荷塘月色 (朱自清) 的三个译本(朱纯深 译;杨宪益、戴乃迭 译;李明 译)的对比
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荷塘月色 朱自清
Moonlight over the Lotus Pond 朱纯深 译 Moonlight over the Lotus Pond 杨宪益、戴乃迭 译 Moonlight over the Lotus Pond 李明 译
第一段
①这几天心里颇不宁静。
[朱译] ①I have felt quite upset recently. [杨戴译] ①The last few days have found me very restless. [李明译]①These days have found me quite in turmoil.
②今晚在院子里坐着乘凉，忽然想起日日走过的 荷塘，在这满月的光里，总该另有一番样子吧。
[朱译] ②Tonight, when I was sitting in the yard enjoying the cool, it occurred to me that the Lotus Pond, which I pass by everyday, must assume quite a different look in such moonlit night. [杨戴译] ②This evening as I sat in the yard to enjoy the cool, it struck me how different the lotus pool [I pass every day] must look under a full moon. [李明译] ②Tonight as I was sitting in my yard enjoying the cool, I suddenly thought of the lotus pond I pass by every day: on such a fully-moonlit night, it must assume a different outlook.
注：在这两个译本中，“披了大衫”、“带上门” 和“出去”等三个动作[专业上被称作“语义范 畴”]有不同的语言处理，有的被处理成谓语，有 的被处理成状语。
第二段
①沿着荷塘，是一条曲折的小煤屑路。 [朱译] ①Alongside the Lotus Pond runs a small cinder footpath. [杨戴译] ①A cinder-path winds along by the side of the pool. [李明译]①Along the pond winds a narrow cinder footpath.
第三段
①路上只我一个人，背着手踱着。②这一片天地好像是我 的；我也像超出了平常的自己，到了另一世界里。 [朱译] ①I am on my own, strolling, hands behind my back. ②This bit of the universe seems in my possession now; and I myself seem to have been uplifted from my ordinary self into another world. [杨戴译] ①Strolling alone down the path, hands behind my back, I felt as if the whole earth and sky were mine and I had stepped outside my usual self into another world.
Hale Waihona Puke ⑤白天里一定要做的事，一定要说的话，现在都 可不理。 [朱译]⑤All [that one is obliged to do，or to say, in the daytime], can be very well cast aside now. [杨戴译] ③All daytime duties could be disregarded. [李明译] ⑥Also, all that I have to do, or to say, in the daytime, can be totally cast aside at the moment.
[李明译]①Strolling along the path I am, all alone, with my hands behind my back. ②I seem to have this bit of the universe all in my possession. ③What’s more, it seems that I have overreached my usual self to such an extent as to have entered another world.
②这是一条幽僻的路；白天也少人走，夜晚更加寂寞。③荷塘四面， 长着许多树，蓊蓊郁郁的。④路的一旁，是些杨柳，和一些不知道名 字的树。 [朱译] ②It is peaceful and secluded here, a place not frequented by pedestrians even in the daytime; now at night, it looks more solitary, in a lush, shady ambience of trees all around the pond.③On the side where the path is, there are willows, interlaced with some others whose names I do not know. [杨戴译] ②It is off the beaten track and few pass this way even by day, so at night it is still more quiet. ③Trees grow thick and bosky all around the pool, with willows and other trees [I cannot name by the path]. [李明译]②The footpath, peaceful and secluded, is not much frequented by pedestrians in the daytime and at night, it is even more solitary. ③Around the pond grows s huge profusion of trees, exuberant and luxuriant. ④On one side of the path are willows and some other trees whose names are unknown to me.
③月亮渐渐地升高了，墙外马路上孩子们的欢笑，已经听 不见了；妻在屋里拍着闰儿，迷迷糊糊地哼着眠歌。 [朱译]③A full moon was rising high in the sky; the laughter of children playing outside had died away; in the room, my wife was patting the son, Run-er, sleepily humming a cradle song. [杨戴译]③The moon was sailing higher and higher up the heavens, the sound of childish laughter had died away from the lane beyond our wall, and my wife was in the house patting Juner and humming a lullaby to him. [李明译]③As, the moon was rising higher and higher up in the sky, the laughter of children playing had died away from the alleys beyond our wall. ④Inside our home, my wife was patting om son—Ran’er, sleepily humming a cradle song.
④我悄悄地披了大衫，带上门出去。 [朱译]④Shrugging on an overcoat, quietly, I made my way out, closing the door behind me. [杨戴译]④I quietly slipped on a long gown, and walked out leaving the door on the latch. [李明译]⑤And quite quietly, I put on my long gown, left the door on me latch and made my way towards the pond.
⑤没有月光的晚上，这路上阴森森的，有些怕人。 ⑥今晚却很好，虽然月光也还是淡淡的。 [朱译]④The foliage, which, in a moon-less night, would loom somewhat frighteningly dark, looks very nice tonight, although the moonlight is not more than a thin, greyish veil. [杨戴译]④On nights [when there is no moon] the track is almost terrifyingly dark, but tonight it was quite clear, though the moonlight was pale. [李明译]⑤On a moonless night, it is somewhat somber here, looking rather forbidding. ⑥But it has a cheerful outlook tonight, though the moonlight is in a thin, whitish veil.
③我爱热闹，也爱冷静；爱群居，也爱独处。④像今晚上， 一个人在这苍茫的月下，什么都可以想，什么都可以不想， 便觉是个自由的人。 [朱译] ③I like a serene and peaceful life, as much as a busy and active one; I like being in solitude, as much as in company. ④As it is tonight, basking in a misty moonshine all by myself, I feel I am a free man, free to think of anything, or of nothing. [杨戴译] ②I like both excitement and stillness, under the full moon, I could think of whatever I pleased or of nothing at all, and that gave me a sense of freedom. [李明译]④I enjoy a tranquil life as well as a bustling one; I enjoy being in solitude as well as being in company. ⑤On such a night as this, bathing in the mist-like moonlight, I can think of anything or nothing, which makes me feel that I have complete freedom.
Moonlight over the Lotus Pond 朱纯深 译 Moonlight over the Lotus Pond 杨宪益、戴乃迭 译 Moonlight over the Lotus Pond 李明 译
第一段
①这几天心里颇不宁静。
[朱译] ①I have felt quite upset recently. [杨戴译] ①The last few days have found me very restless. [李明译]①These days have found me quite in turmoil.
②今晚在院子里坐着乘凉，忽然想起日日走过的 荷塘，在这满月的光里，总该另有一番样子吧。
[朱译] ②Tonight, when I was sitting in the yard enjoying the cool, it occurred to me that the Lotus Pond, which I pass by everyday, must assume quite a different look in such moonlit night. [杨戴译] ②This evening as I sat in the yard to enjoy the cool, it struck me how different the lotus pool [I pass every day] must look under a full moon. [李明译] ②Tonight as I was sitting in my yard enjoying the cool, I suddenly thought of the lotus pond I pass by every day: on such a fully-moonlit night, it must assume a different outlook.
注：在这两个译本中，“披了大衫”、“带上门” 和“出去”等三个动作[专业上被称作“语义范 畴”]有不同的语言处理，有的被处理成谓语，有 的被处理成状语。
第二段
①沿着荷塘，是一条曲折的小煤屑路。 [朱译] ①Alongside the Lotus Pond runs a small cinder footpath. [杨戴译] ①A cinder-path winds along by the side of the pool. [李明译]①Along the pond winds a narrow cinder footpath.
第三段
①路上只我一个人，背着手踱着。②这一片天地好像是我 的；我也像超出了平常的自己，到了另一世界里。 [朱译] ①I am on my own, strolling, hands behind my back. ②This bit of the universe seems in my possession now; and I myself seem to have been uplifted from my ordinary self into another world. [杨戴译] ①Strolling alone down the path, hands behind my back, I felt as if the whole earth and sky were mine and I had stepped outside my usual self into another world.
Hale Waihona Puke ⑤白天里一定要做的事，一定要说的话，现在都 可不理。 [朱译]⑤All [that one is obliged to do，or to say, in the daytime], can be very well cast aside now. [杨戴译] ③All daytime duties could be disregarded. [李明译] ⑥Also, all that I have to do, or to say, in the daytime, can be totally cast aside at the moment.
[李明译]①Strolling along the path I am, all alone, with my hands behind my back. ②I seem to have this bit of the universe all in my possession. ③What’s more, it seems that I have overreached my usual self to such an extent as to have entered another world.
②这是一条幽僻的路；白天也少人走，夜晚更加寂寞。③荷塘四面， 长着许多树，蓊蓊郁郁的。④路的一旁，是些杨柳，和一些不知道名 字的树。 [朱译] ②It is peaceful and secluded here, a place not frequented by pedestrians even in the daytime; now at night, it looks more solitary, in a lush, shady ambience of trees all around the pond.③On the side where the path is, there are willows, interlaced with some others whose names I do not know. [杨戴译] ②It is off the beaten track and few pass this way even by day, so at night it is still more quiet. ③Trees grow thick and bosky all around the pool, with willows and other trees [I cannot name by the path]. [李明译]②The footpath, peaceful and secluded, is not much frequented by pedestrians in the daytime and at night, it is even more solitary. ③Around the pond grows s huge profusion of trees, exuberant and luxuriant. ④On one side of the path are willows and some other trees whose names are unknown to me.
③月亮渐渐地升高了，墙外马路上孩子们的欢笑，已经听 不见了；妻在屋里拍着闰儿，迷迷糊糊地哼着眠歌。 [朱译]③A full moon was rising high in the sky; the laughter of children playing outside had died away; in the room, my wife was patting the son, Run-er, sleepily humming a cradle song. [杨戴译]③The moon was sailing higher and higher up the heavens, the sound of childish laughter had died away from the lane beyond our wall, and my wife was in the house patting Juner and humming a lullaby to him. [李明译]③As, the moon was rising higher and higher up in the sky, the laughter of children playing had died away from the alleys beyond our wall. ④Inside our home, my wife was patting om son—Ran’er, sleepily humming a cradle song.
④我悄悄地披了大衫，带上门出去。 [朱译]④Shrugging on an overcoat, quietly, I made my way out, closing the door behind me. [杨戴译]④I quietly slipped on a long gown, and walked out leaving the door on the latch. [李明译]⑤And quite quietly, I put on my long gown, left the door on me latch and made my way towards the pond.
⑤没有月光的晚上，这路上阴森森的，有些怕人。 ⑥今晚却很好，虽然月光也还是淡淡的。 [朱译]④The foliage, which, in a moon-less night, would loom somewhat frighteningly dark, looks very nice tonight, although the moonlight is not more than a thin, greyish veil. [杨戴译]④On nights [when there is no moon] the track is almost terrifyingly dark, but tonight it was quite clear, though the moonlight was pale. [李明译]⑤On a moonless night, it is somewhat somber here, looking rather forbidding. ⑥But it has a cheerful outlook tonight, though the moonlight is in a thin, whitish veil.
③我爱热闹，也爱冷静；爱群居，也爱独处。④像今晚上， 一个人在这苍茫的月下，什么都可以想，什么都可以不想， 便觉是个自由的人。 [朱译] ③I like a serene and peaceful life, as much as a busy and active one; I like being in solitude, as much as in company. ④As it is tonight, basking in a misty moonshine all by myself, I feel I am a free man, free to think of anything, or of nothing. [杨戴译] ②I like both excitement and stillness, under the full moon, I could think of whatever I pleased or of nothing at all, and that gave me a sense of freedom. [李明译]④I enjoy a tranquil life as well as a bustling one; I enjoy being in solitude as well as being in company. ⑤On such a night as this, bathing in the mist-like moonlight, I can think of anything or nothing, which makes me feel that I have complete freedom.