哈佛幸福课课件07-perfection
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Outline
• What is Perfectionism? • Characteristics • Consequences • Success and Happiness • Sources of Perfectionism • Overcoming Perfectionism
Learn to fail or fail to learn
(Csikszentmihalyi, 1991)
Source of Perfectionism
• Conditioning
Destination = Reward = Acceptance Journey = Unrewarded = Means Only
• Social environment • Permission to be human?
“Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err.”
Mohandas Gandhi
“The important work of moving the world forward does not wait to be done by perfect men.”
Crisis (Wei Ji)
Danger and
Opportunity
“The greatest mistake a man can make is to be afraid of making one.”
Elbert Hubbard
The Path of Failure
• Age 22: Lost job • Age 23: Defeated for state legislature • Age 24: Failed in business • Age 27: Nervous breakdown • Age 34: Ran for congress and defeated • Age 39: Defeated again • Age 46: Ran for senate and defeated • Age 47: Defeated for nomination for vice president • Age 50: Defeated again for senate • Age 51: 16th US President
Lasting Satisfaction Possibility of Success Appropriate Time Allocation Healthy Approach Continuous Improvement Allows for Growth Creative Tension Less Pain More Gain
It is an approach, a cognitive and emotional schema, that we hold toward the journey of our lives, toward the process of getting from point A to point B.
Open to Suggestions
Half Full Realistic Unconditional Acceptance Dynamic Failure as feedback Journey and Destination
Perfection Vs. Excellence Consequences
Perfection
Excellence
Temporary Relief Inevitable Failure Wastes time Prone to disorders Hurts Self-Esteem Harms Relationships Anxiety/Stress Performance?
Harmful Praise? (Dweck, 2005)
• Intelligence versus Effort
Perfection Vs. Excellence Characteristics
PHale Waihona Puke Baidurfection
Excellence
Defensive
Half Empty Over Generalize No Self-Acceptance Static Fear of failure Focus on Destination
Less Pain More Gain ??*@#!!#??
• Sustainable approach to growth • Procrastination • Higher levels of self-confidence • Learn to fail or fail to learn • ‘The Luck Factor’ (Wiseman, 2003) • Creativity (Simonton, 1999) • 80/20 Rule (Pareto’s Principle) • Increase in flow experiences
Thomas Watson Sr.
• “Origins of Genius” (Simonton, 1999) • Fail your way to success (Klem, 1997)
Perfectionism is an incapacitating fear of failure that permeates our lives, especially those areas that we care about most.
George Eliot
Amy Edmondson (1999) “Psychological Safety”
Thomas Watson Sr. IBM
“If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.”
• What is Perfectionism? • Characteristics • Consequences • Success and Happiness • Sources of Perfectionism • Overcoming Perfectionism
Learn to fail or fail to learn
(Csikszentmihalyi, 1991)
Source of Perfectionism
• Conditioning
Destination = Reward = Acceptance Journey = Unrewarded = Means Only
• Social environment • Permission to be human?
“Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err.”
Mohandas Gandhi
“The important work of moving the world forward does not wait to be done by perfect men.”
Crisis (Wei Ji)
Danger and
Opportunity
“The greatest mistake a man can make is to be afraid of making one.”
Elbert Hubbard
The Path of Failure
• Age 22: Lost job • Age 23: Defeated for state legislature • Age 24: Failed in business • Age 27: Nervous breakdown • Age 34: Ran for congress and defeated • Age 39: Defeated again • Age 46: Ran for senate and defeated • Age 47: Defeated for nomination for vice president • Age 50: Defeated again for senate • Age 51: 16th US President
Lasting Satisfaction Possibility of Success Appropriate Time Allocation Healthy Approach Continuous Improvement Allows for Growth Creative Tension Less Pain More Gain
It is an approach, a cognitive and emotional schema, that we hold toward the journey of our lives, toward the process of getting from point A to point B.
Open to Suggestions
Half Full Realistic Unconditional Acceptance Dynamic Failure as feedback Journey and Destination
Perfection Vs. Excellence Consequences
Perfection
Excellence
Temporary Relief Inevitable Failure Wastes time Prone to disorders Hurts Self-Esteem Harms Relationships Anxiety/Stress Performance?
Harmful Praise? (Dweck, 2005)
• Intelligence versus Effort
Perfection Vs. Excellence Characteristics
PHale Waihona Puke Baidurfection
Excellence
Defensive
Half Empty Over Generalize No Self-Acceptance Static Fear of failure Focus on Destination
Less Pain More Gain ??*@#!!#??
• Sustainable approach to growth • Procrastination • Higher levels of self-confidence • Learn to fail or fail to learn • ‘The Luck Factor’ (Wiseman, 2003) • Creativity (Simonton, 1999) • 80/20 Rule (Pareto’s Principle) • Increase in flow experiences
Thomas Watson Sr.
• “Origins of Genius” (Simonton, 1999) • Fail your way to success (Klem, 1997)
Perfectionism is an incapacitating fear of failure that permeates our lives, especially those areas that we care about most.
George Eliot
Amy Edmondson (1999) “Psychological Safety”
Thomas Watson Sr. IBM
“If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.”