英汉翻译评析(附参考译文)

英汉翻译讲解（1）
I.英汉之间的差别：
“对于中国学生最有用的帮助是让他认识英语和汉语的差别。

”------吕叔湘
国内学者的共识是：汉语是综合性的，描写性的，而英语是分析性的，逻辑性的。

在语言学上最重要的区别在于形合和意合的对比（contrast between hypotaxis and parataxis），英语重形合（形式上的融合），汉语重意合（意思或意境的融合）。

在句法方面，有学者形象地把英汉比喻为以下几种：
1．雄孔雀/雄狮-----即英语习惯于把最着重的事物放在句首先说出来，开门见山，一语破的，然后再把各种标志一条条补述，一步步交代，慢条斯理，从容不迫，形成一条头短尾长地线性链，象头小尾大地雄孔雀。

而汉语则相反，其线性序列的展开好比画龙点睛，先把外围的环境与衬托一一交代周到，最后点出话语的信息中心，水到渠成，给人以豁然开朗之感，形成雄狮型头大尾小地局式。

例如：I was all the more delighted when, as a result of the initiative of your Government it proved possible to reinstate the visit so quickly.
译文：由于贵国政府的提议，才得以这样快地重新实现访问。

这使我感到特别高兴。

又如：The assertion that it was difficult, if not impossible, for a people to enjoy its basic rights unless it was able to determine freely its political status and to ensure freely its economic, social and cultural development was now scarcely （不足地，不充分地；一定不，绝不）contested （斗争；比赛）.
译文：如果一个民族不能自由地决定其政治地位，不能自由地保证其经济、社会和文化的发展，要享受其基本权利，即使不是不可能，也是不容易的。

这一论断几乎是无可置辩的了。

2．葡萄/竹竿-----即把英语句子比作“葡萄型”结构，葡萄主干很短，其上附结着丰硕的果实。

而汉语句子则较短，一个短句接一个短句地往下叙述，逐步展开，内容像竹竿一样一节一节展开，常称为“竹竿型”结构。

She was beautiful, with long dark hair and brilliant green eyes.她长得很美，一头乌黑亮丽的长发，一双晶莹明亮的绿色眼睛。

She has smooth akin as pale and iridescent as the moon shining over a snow-covered landscape.她光滑的肌肤白里透红，宛如皎洁的月光洒在茫茫血地上。

3．多枝共干----英语句子中还有两个或几个动词共受一个状语修饰，共有一个主语或宾语，或者两个或几个状语共同修饰一个动词，两个或几个主语或宾语共一个动词，这就好比几根树枝长在同一根树干上，我们称为“多枝共干”式结构。

4．也有学者认为英语是一种弥漫着“男子气”的语言。

逻辑性、组织性和理性是以英语为母语的民族的思维支撑点，从而就形成了英语的“阳刚之美”。

而汉语自有汉语之美。

汉语不注重对客观现实作符合逻辑的形式的描摹，不执着于形式结构的规范，中国人的思维支撑点似乎更具有抽象，深邃和疏放的取向，由此繁衍生出的是显赫的暗示和幽远的意境从而形成汉语的“阴柔之美”。

汉语的魅力在于她的流散和疏放，系于她超凡的暗示力和意境性。

所以汉语的形式机制很弱，主谓宾没有形式标定，主谓间关系松散，宾语无定格，无定位，主语的超句承接功能很强。

如果说汉语是一种“人治”语言，那么，英语则是一种“理性”语言。

汉语能化逻辑为内在，英语则必须将逻辑外化，化作种种行合的标记，化作启转承合的纽带。

英语语法规范森严，理性十足；英语形式逻辑缜密，滴水不漏。

5．汉语是一种意境语言，一种艺术语言。

寥寥数词，就能出意境，出氛围，出画面。

当然，英语表情达意的优势也不能低估。

比如，metaphor比喻就是英语最大的优势。

这个比喻并非狭义上的把A 比作B不使用比喻词如as, like, as if等的隐喻/暗喻，而是广义上英语词汇的比喻义。

换言之，也可以说是英语词汇denotation（本义）之外的connotation（转义）。

试译下面句子，仔细体会汉语在这里给人体现出来的意境的美，英语体现的逻辑很清楚的理性的美。

）
1．She was in a flood of tears. 她泪流如注。

（注意flood（本义是水灾）这个词的转义所表现出来的英语的美：）
The corridors were flooded with girls.走廊里挤满了女孩子。

Strawberries flooded the market and prices dropped down.草莓充斥市场，价格下跌。

Beer flooded from the glass.啤酒从杯中溢出。

2．她就是这样风里来，雨里去，成年累月地工作着。

This is how she carries on her work, rain or shine, all the year round.
3. 人言鼎沸：Many people talk together and the noise they make is like the bubbling of water boiling in a cauldron.
4. 面如菜色：hungry looking; look famished
5．西湖如明镜，千峰凝翠，洞壑幽深，风光奇丽。

（这里的汉语只有17个字，却勾勒出西湖的意境的美，而英语则要把这里的逻辑弄清楚，再把汉语内在的逻辑完全外化出来）The West Lake is like a mirror, embellished all around with green hills and deep caves of enchanting beauty.
6．The stage of mental comfort to which they had arrived at this hour was one wherein their souls expanded beyond their skins, and spread their personalities warmly through the room.
他们那时所达到的欢畅阶段是：神游身外，脱却形骸，满眼生花，满室生春。

7．《红楼梦》袭人说：一百年还记得呢？比不得你，拿着我的话当耳边风，夜里说了，早起就忘了。

（汉语具有的超凡的暗示力，英语则要把暗示的逻辑外化出来。

）“I will remember if I live to be a hundred” said Aroma. “I am not like you, letting what I say go in at one ear and out at the other forgetting what’s said at night by the next morning.”
8. We had plenty of company in the way of wagon-loads and mule-loads of tourists---and dust. 同路的有许多旅客，有乘旅游马车的，也有骑骡子的---一路尘土飞扬。

9. Clearly, when it comes to marriage, practicing beforehand doesn’t make perfect.
显然，在婚姻问题上，婚前同居并不能令婚姻生活趋于完美。

10. Change is part of life and the making of character. When things happen that you do not like, you have two choices: You get bitter or better.
变化是生活的一部分，而且也塑造了人的意志品德。

当你不喜欢的事情发生了，你有两种选择：要么痛苦不堪，要么痛快达观。

试翻译以下短文：SV(student version), RV(revised version)
Commentaries on the Version of “一个女人是这样衰老的”
一个女人是这样衰老的
题目的翻译
SV：How a Woman Ages/A Woman’s Aging/A Woman Fades Thus/What causes a Woman to Grow Old/The Way in Which a woman is Aging/How a Woman Gets Old
RV: The Way Woman Withers
点评：Rhetorical Device: distillation and aesthetic hightlights of language, either Chinese or English/The successful employment of alliteration(头韵)
1．二十岁的时候，我穿着一条背心式牛仔裙在校园里走来走去，一说话就脸红。

三十岁的我穿着名牌套装，坐在办公桌前，满脸冷酷地对下属说：“这么愚蠢的问题你也敢问？也不先打个草稿。

”
SV: At the age of twenty, I walked about on the campus, wearing a vestlike jean skirt. My face would turn red whenever I speak. After I have turned thirty, I am seated in front of a bureau, in a suit of famous brand, reproaching a subordinate coldly “ How dare you ask such a stupid question? Why didn’t you make a draft first?”
RV: At the age of twenty, wearing a jeans jumper, I moved about on the campus, my face blushing the moment I had the inclination to make an utterance. At the age of thirty, I, wearing a famous-brand suit and a cold look, reproach my subordinate bluntly, “How can you go so far as to raise such a silly, mindless question?”
点评：Zeugma (轭式修饰法)：a figure of speech in which a single word, usually a verb or adjective, is syntactically related to two or more words, though having a different sense in relation to each. More examples:
The senator picked up his hat and his courage/She possessed two false teeth and a sympathetic heart/ He lost the game and his temper.
2．二十岁的时候，从图书馆借的是《莎士比亚全集》、《一个青年艺术家的自画像》和《尤里西斯》。

三十岁之后，床头摆的是《跟庄密笈》、《ELLE》和《经理人的个人魅力》.
SV: At the age of twenty, The Collected Works of Shakespeare, The Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man, and Ulysses were borrowed from the library. After thirty, Strategy of Speculation on Stocks, ELLE and Manager’s Personal Charm were put on the bedside.
RV: At the age of twenty, I borrowed books from the library like Shakespeare’s Complete Works, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, Ulysses. After thirty, on my bedside, lie such books and magazines as The Recipe on Stocks, Elle and Manager’s Charm.
点评：Syntactically（依照句法地）, aesthetic value goes to Eng-Weightness in English, which is not the case with Chinese. For example:
Gone are the days when I was young. VS. The days when I was young are gone. Word came that bribery行贿has sent him to prison. VS. Word that bribery has sent him to prison came.
3．二十岁的暑假，在家乡的大街上偶遇自己的暗恋对象，听说他考上了研究生，被他的进步所打击，心如刀绞，想到这辈子终于不能出色得让他看我一眼，不禁怅然泪下。

三十岁之后，到处打听那里可以花钱买个MBA.
SV: At 20, during a summer holiday I encountered my beloved one on the street of my hometown. I heard he was admitted to be a graduate. I was struck by his advance. I couldn’t help shedding tears in my extreme grief. I thought that for this life I could never achieve much to let him see me in a new light. After 30, I inquire everywhere where to purchase an MBA certificate.
RV: At the age of twenty, I ran into the young man whom I loved in private in the
street of my hometown. Upon hearing that he had been enrolled as a graduate, I was virtually dealt a heavy blow believing reluctantly so painful a fact that I could never do well enough to win his favor, bitter tears streaming down my cheeks. After thirty, I busy myself here and there, inquiring where I could by an MBA diploma.
点评：Aesthetically（审美地）speaking, English appreciates sentence possessing a short main clause, with many words, phrases and clauses attached to it, something like a cluster of grapes, while Chinese favors sentence structure resembling bamboo, on segment after another.
4．二十岁的时候，随时随地向人透露我的年龄，答得比问的还快。

三十岁之后，最恨别人问年龄，你要是非问不可，你猜啊。

SV: At the age of twenty, I was always ready to disclose my age on all occasions and could not wait to speak out the answer until the inquirer finished his words. After I have turned thirty, I hate any inquiry about my age. If you insist, have a guess.
RV: At the age of twenty, I was so ready to reveal my age, telling people about my age frequently before they inquired. After thirty, age became almost a taboo to me. If somebody is so nosy, I respond, “Guess.”
点评：English is a language of metaphor, leaving no stone unturned in exploiting the metaphorical meaning, or rather the connotative (转义的) meaning, of very single word, while Chinese language is heavily denotation（本义）-dependent.
5．二十岁的时候，一心想和体育系、美术系的男生约会。

三十岁后，我简直认为自己当年是白痴。

SV: When in my twenties, I was only willing to date boys from sports or art department. After thirty, I even thought I had been an idiot before.
RV: At the age of twenty, I did long to date with the boys from either physical education, or the art department. After thirty, it seems so unbelievable that I once idiotically possessed that thought.
点评：Lexically（词汇地）speaking, part of the aesthetic value goes to flexible word formation in English which dwarfs Chinese
6．二十岁的时候，有书店必须逛，有书必买。

三十岁之后，对书店视而不见，直接去了隔壁的美容院。

SV: At the age of twenty, I frequented the bookstores and bought whatever I found. After thirty, I ignored them and went ahead into the nearby beauty parlor（店营业室）. RV: At the age of twenty, the bookstore was a must for me, and I was a big book buyer. While after thirty, paying no attention to the bookstore, I breeze into the beauty parlor next door.
点评：It is universally acknowledged that obscurity and abstract, occasionally creates more aesthetic value, which can accomplish more accuracy and gracefulness.
7．二十岁的时候，老妈打电话，不等说完三句就恨不能挂了电话。

三十岁之后，一听到妈的声音就禁不住哭出声来：“妈呀，您老的所有担心现在都应验了……”
SV: At the age of twenty, when mother phones me, I am anxious to hang up immediately. After the age of thirty, on hearing mother’s voice on the phone, I cannot help crying out, “Mom, all that you worry about have come true.”
RV: At the age of twenty, while talking with my mother over the phone, I wanted to
hang up before my mother had finished a few words. After thirty, the voice of Mom invariably triggers my crying, “Mom, your worries about my marriage have all come true.”
点评：Chinese expressions involve more obscurity, a sign of lavishly artistically-conceived （持有艺术的）language, while English pins（紧扣）more aesthetic value on clarity and legibility（易辨认, 易理解）, a manifestation of a language largely governed by logic.
傅雷：东方人和西方人的思想方式有基本分歧，我人重综合、重归纳重暗示、重含蓄；西方人则重分析，细微曲折、挖掘惟恐不尽，描写惟恐不周。

王力：西洋语法是硬的，没有弹性；中国语法是软的，富有弹性。

中国语法以达意为主。

杨振宁：中国的文化是模糊、朦胧及总体的方向走，而西方的文化是向准确而具体的方向走。

汉语，写诗却是一个优点。

8．二十岁的时候，我真想往前冲，谁也别挡我。

三十岁之后，我真想赖着不走啊，又快过年了。

SV: At the age of twenty, I dashed forward without any apprehension. In my thirties, I strive to hang on to the moment: another New Year is looming.
RV: At the age of twenty, I dashed forward without any concern for the passing days and years. In my thirties, I strive to hang on to every moment: Unfortunately, another New Year looms on the horizon.
点评：The Chinese text seems to be vague and implicit; the literal version done by my student goes like this: At the age of twenty, I dashed forward without any apprehension. In my thirties, I strive to hang on to the moment: another New Year is looming. Could you understand this literal version?// Answer: The literal version is ok. But I would make a few changes: “At the age of twenty, I dashed forward without any concern for the passing days and years. In my thirties, I strive to hang on to every moment: Unfortunately, another New Year looms on the horizon.”
9．二十岁的时候，我想出名要趁早，一个人到了三十岁还籍籍无名那还活个什么劲呀？三十岁之后，名是不指望了，只希望在四十岁的时候能象我老板一样有钱。

SV: At the age of twenty, I said, to gain fame, the earlier the better. How dull it should be one is still infamous in her thirties! In my thirties, reputation is no longer my desire.
I only have a wish to be as rich as my boss in my forties.
RV: At the age of twenty, it’s better to be famous before it’s too late, I believed. What would be the spice of life for a person deserted (放弃) by fame when approaching thirty? After thirty, fame seems still beyond reach, yet being as rich as my boss at forty becomes my new dream.
点评：One of the important criteria in aesthetic judgement for English is hypotaxis(形合), while Chinese is a language of parataxis (意合); the logic syntactical relationship is self-evident. Make a comparison:
燕子去了，有再来的时候；杨柳枯了，有再青的时候；桃花谢了，有再开的时候。

但是，聪明的，你告诉我，我们的日子为什么一去不复返呢？
Swallows may have gone, but there is a time of return; willow trees may have died back, but there is a time of regreening; peach blossoms may have fallen, but they
will bloom again. Now, you the wise, tell me, why should our days leave us, never to return?
10．二十岁的时候，拥挤在人头攒动的公共大巴上，吃着甜筒，挺开心。

三十岁之后，看见破旧肮脏的的士都心烦，拜托！油价一跌，就去买车吧，一路开往小康。

10．SV: At the age of twenty, I felt happy squeezed in a crammed bus eating an ice-cream. After I have turned thirty, I hate to look at the dirty, worn-out taxis.
Thank goddess! Once the oil price declines, I’’ll buy a car to myself and drive all the way to a comfortable life.
RV: At the age of twenty, I felt so contented sandwiched in a jammed bus, eating ice cream. After thirty, even the sight of a shabby and sordid (肮脏的) taxi may sicken me. Ok! When the oil price goes down, I will buy a car, drive along the road of Well-To-Do(小康的).
点评：Impersonal Subject Sentence is the pride of English language, inviting much aesthetic value, while Chinese, syntactically neglecting the employment of subject, employ few impersonal subjects.
11．二十岁的时候，打赌说我这辈子不可能土到死守在一个地方，生活在别处嘛。

三十岁之后，我为了在这座城市买个满意又便宜的房子跑断了双腿。

SV: At the age of twenty, I bet there was fat chance that I should rustically live my lifetime in one place, as the saying goes, a beautiful life occurs elsewhere. In my thirties, I spare no strength running for a decent and inexpensive house in the local city.
RV: At the age of twenty, I bet that I would never reside in one city the rest of my life. I’d choose to live in different places. After thirty, I ran my feet off searching for an apartment, satisfying and cheap.
点评：A way to achieve end-weight: after-position adjectives
For example: He comes into the light of every-day like a great leviathan(《圣经》中象征邪恶的)海中怪兽, 巨物) of the deep, breaking the smooth surface of accepted things, gay, serious, and sportive.
12．二十岁的时候，看小说专挑和爱情有关的情节看。

三十岁之后，我在聊天室里的代号叫“不谈爱情”。

SV: At the age of twenty, I only read paragraphs about live in reading novels. At the age of 30, my name was “no speaking love” in chat-room on the Internet.
RV: At the age of twenty, while reading a novel, I abandoned my self to the chapters exclusively devoted to romance. After thirty, I dubbed myself as “No Mention of Love.”in the Internet chat-room
点评：Careful handling of register recruit invites more aesthetic appreciation. 13．二十岁的时候，一听到名人就激动不已，就欢呼雀跃，就奋不顾身往前冲。

三十岁之后，一听到名人就若有所失，就心烦意乱，就怒火中烧，就……不知道什么滋味，特别是年轻的，漂亮的，女的名人。

SV: When I was twenty, hearing the name of the famous man, I would be so exited that I could almost jump up with cheer and dashed ahead regardless of my safety. After thirty, I was indifferent, annoyed, flew into a temper and I had no feeling to hear the name of the famous man, particularly of those famous, young and pretty females
who were young and pretty.
RV: At the age of twenty, upon hearing a celebrity, I would rush forward, hot-blooded, jumping for joy. After thirty, upon hearing the names of celebrities, I feel lost, vexed (恼怒) and burning with anger, especially the names of those famous females, who are young and pretty.
点评：汉语：暗示/含蓄/以达意为主/文化：模糊朦胧—》以神驭形—》衔生出写意、意境、联想、意合和文采。

而英语：分析/语法是硬的/准确而具体—》以形摄神，衔生出写实、逻辑、形合、推理和归纳
14．二十岁的时候，和某个人晚上一起去看了场电影，不经意中拉了一次手，结果幸福了整整一个夏天。

三十岁之后，坐在香格里拉酒店的旋转餐厅陪客户吃自主助餐，在缓缓的转动之中，莫名其妙地一阵空虚，突然间对一切感到索然无味……
SV: At the age of twenty, I went to see a film on a night with someone who casually took my hand in his palm, and this sweet happiness lingered for the whole summer. After I have turned thirty, I feel an aching void in the slow movement of the rotating restaurant, where I dine with my clients upon a buffet meal, in Shangri-La Hotel and all of a sudden I lost interest in everything.
RV: At the age of twenty, one evening, I went to see a film. In the darkness, an incidental touch of hands filled me with joy all that summer. I am thirty, sitting the rotating restaurant of Shangri-La Hotel, accompanying clients having a buffet. In the slow rotating, an indescribable emptiness, all of a sudden, seizes me, and I find everything dull and dry.
点评：Aesthetic judgement, aesthetic appreciation alone contributes little to the elegance, gracefulness and readability (可读性) of the versions, aesthetics-based application, with the macro linguistic differentiation consciousness, can accomplish much.。