第三讲 翻译症(1)

Their speeches were dressed up with as much care as though they were parliamentary harangues fashioned to the columns of the daily press. (讨论译文)他们的演说被那么小心翼翼地装扮得像 是适合于每日报刊专栏新闻上刊登的议会高谈阔论 似的。 改译：他们的演说被小心翼翼地装扮，就像是议会 里的高谈阔论，适合于刊登在每日报刊专栏新闻上 似的。

少壮离家老大回，乡音无改鬓毛衰
When
I was young, I left my hometown, now I’m old, I return. My accent is unchanged while my hair turns grey. You clean the window, while I sweep the floor. (讨论译文)当我扫地时，你擦窗户。
4.【讨论译文】
这是他名噪一时的一个秘密， 但这种名声如同波涛一样起伏不定：一时间 奔腾高涨，汹涌澎拜，转瞬间又一落千丈， 终于在原来享有这种声望的人身上荡然无存。 改译：这是他名噪一时的秘密，但这种名声 如同潮水一样起伏不定：波浪涨起，水泡涌 出，泡沫翻现，然后潮水退去，名声又回归 前一任主人。
3.译文的隐含信息没有外化而导致欠 额翻译


They parted enemies. (讨论译文)他们与敌人分手了。 改译：他们分手了，成为了敌人。 We bombed the Axis Europe. (讨论译文)我们轰炸了轴心国的欧洲。 改译：我们轰炸了轴心国在欧洲的占领区。
was one of the secrets of his great popularity, but it was a popularity which was as unsettled as the waves. It swelled, and bubbled, and foamed for a while, only to recede, and be lost to its former possessor. 5.I walked to the ticket counter. When the ticket-seller saw me, her otherwise attractive face turned sour, violently so. 6.The expectation of collision informed British frontier policy in this period.
4.过度发挥而导致超额翻译



Some men have been virtuous blindly , others have speculated fantastically , and others have been shrewed to bad purposes. 讨论译文：有些人非常正直，但却瞎做事情，败 事有余；有些人考虑周到，但却充满幻想，处处 染指；还有些人非常狡猾，时时想着坑害别人， 达到不可告人的目的。 参考译文：有些人品行端正，但对周遭不闻不问； 有些人深思熟虑，但却流于脱离现实；有些人非 常精明，但却把精明用到邪道上去。
The
European Empires in Africa have disappeared. (讨论译文)在非洲的欧洲帝国已经消失了。 改译：欧洲在非洲建立的帝国消失了。 This is the official kind of strike. 译文：这是一种官方的罢工。 修改：这是工会组织的罢工。
我们过了江，进了车站。我买票，他忙着照看行李。 （朱自清《背影》） We entered the railway station after crossing the River. While I was at the booking office buying a ticket, father saw to my luggage. （张培基） We crossed the Yangtze and arrived at the station, where I bought a ticket while he saw to my luggage. （杨宪益）
1、句子过长（特别是定语过长）
I surprised the company by refusing to drink the dark red beverage poured out of a fat bellied bottled neatly dressed in a tight-fitting straw jacket. (讨论译文)当我拒绝喝从一个密封草套精致地装饰 的大肚子瓶子里倒出来的深红色饮料时，大家吃了 一惊。 改译：这大肚子瓶子是用密封草套精致地装饰着的。 当深红色饮料从里面倒出来时，我拒绝喝它，这让 大家着实吃了一惊。

When I told him what I had just done and why, his weathered face slowly changed. (讨论译文)我把刚才做的事情高告诉他并解释原 因，他那饱经风霜的脸可慢慢地变了。 修改：我把刚才做的事情告诉他并作了解释，他 饱经风霜的脸上，脸色慢慢地变了。 Improve Your Study Habits (title) 译文：改进你的学习习惯。 修改：改进你的学习方法。 修改：养成良好的学习习惯。
百度文库
Those
who judged of his ultimate success by the failure of his first attempt were agreeably disappointed. (讨论译文)那些从他初次尝试遭到失败便断定 他的最后结局的人，高兴地失望了。 改译：他初次尝试失败了。但是那些人却据 此判断，他最终会取得胜利。因此他们虽然 失望，却也有几分高兴。

That’s why I did it, for good, cold, pragmatic reasons. I want our employees and suppliers to be thinking: I can follow a guy who sets that kind of examples. (讨论译文)我之所以这样做是因为有正当的、冷酷 的和实用主义的理由的。我想要是我们的职工和我 们的供应商认为：“我们可以追随一个树立了这样 的榜样的人。” 改译：我之所以这样做，是出于正当的、冷静的、 实际的理由。
This
is a dangerous and violent city. In some parts of it, the only law is the law of the jungle. 译文：这是一个危险的充满暴力的城市。在 有些地方，唯一的原则就是森林法则。 修改：这是一个危险的充满暴力的城市。在 有些地方，唯一的法则就是弱肉强食。
5.搭配不当
The
fierce light of the burning house lighted Kino’s face. (讨论译文)燃烧中的房子的熊熊火光强烈地照 亮了基诺的脸。 改译：房子燃烧的熊熊火光将基诺的脸照得 通亮。
Despite being in an initially unfavorable position as regards availability of capital, cheap and skilled labor ，sails and iron fittings, the American shipbuilding industry forged ahead. (讨论译文)尽管对于可用资本、廉价的技术工人、 船员和铁制零件处于初期的不利地位，美国造船锻 造工业在向前进。 改译：尽管在美国造船业初期可用资本捉襟见肘、 廉价的技术工人短缺、船帆和铁制零件数量不足， 美国造船业（它）仍在向前发展。


The report noted proposals that eating less fat and more food with whole grains and other fibers can protect against cancer.
译文：这份报告特别提到了少食脂肪，多吃含全面 粉和其他纤维素的食物能预防癌症的那些建议。 修改：该报告提到一些建议，主张人们少吃脂肪， 多吃全粮食品和其他含纤维素的食物，能预防癌症。

2.过多地使用介词、连词等功能词 （汉语中能省就省）


Return if Undelivered. 无法投递请退回原处。 Because it is late, I must go now. If you go to my home tomorrow, I will give you a surprise. The inside is so dark that we have to open our eyes wider.
练习
1.Jobs
and work do much more than most of us realize to provide happiness and contentment. 2.She couldn't have come at a better time. 3.But the next century we'll be able to alter our DNA radically, encoding our visions and vanities while concocting new life-forms.

I
am sure that it would change the situation if you are kind enough to lend support to me. ×我相信如果你有足够的好心支持我的 话，它将会改变形势。 【译文】 我相信如果你非常好心能撑我 一把的话，情况就不一样了。
The study found that non-smoking wives of men who smoke cigarettes face a much greater than normal danger of developing lung cancer. The more cigarettes smoked by the husband, the greater threat faced by his non-smoking wife. (讨论译文)这项研究发现抽烟男子的不抽烟妻子患 肺癌的危险比一般人大的多，丈夫抽烟越多，其不 抽烟妻子面临的威胁越大。 修改：这项研究表明，妻子不抽烟丈夫抽烟，妻子 得肺癌的危险性比一般人大的多。丈夫抽的烟越多， 妻子受到的威胁也就越大。
1.（讨论译文）职业和工作能提供必我们大
多数人认识多得多的幸福和满足。 改译：工作能给与人们很大的幸福和满足， 大多数人对此认识不足。

2.来得正是时候。
但下个世纪我们将能很大程度上改变
DNA，能在构建新的生命时把我们的种 种想象、种种出于虚荣的要求，都编入 遗传密码。
4.This
第三讲 翻译症（1）
Translationses / translatorese 翻译症/翻译体/翻译腔
翻译症的表现是译笔拙劣(clumsy)，译者过
分受原文的语言形式束缚，结果是，轻则译 文不自然、不流畅、生硬(stiff; inflexible)，读 者要花费较多的时间才能理解；重则以文晦 涩难懂、读者不知所云(inscrutable)。 造成的原因：1、没有理解原文；2、死译， 对号入座；3、表述不符合译入语的习惯。 下面我们来具体分析。