Be-good-to-yourself therapy

Trust yourself. You know what you want and need.
Put yourself first. Your can't be anything for anybody else unless you take care of yourself.
Let your feelings be known. They are important.
Express your opinions. It's good to hear yourself talk.
Value your thinking. You do it well.
Take the time and space you need - even if other people are wanting something from you.
When you need something, don't talk yourself out of it. Even if you can't have it, it's OK to need.
When you're scared, let someone know. Isolationg yourself when you're scared, makes it worse.
When you feel like running away, let yourself fell the scare. Think about waht you fear will happen and decide what you need to do.
When you're angry, let yourself feel the anger. Decide waht you want to do: just feel it, express it, or take some action.
When you're sad, think about what would be comforting.
When you're hurt, tell the person who hurt you. Keeping it inside makes it grow.
When you see someone else's hurt face, breathe. You are not responsible for making other people happy.
When you have work to do and you don't want to do it, decide what really needs to be done and what can wait.
When you want someting from someone else, ask. You'll be OK if they say no. Asking is being true to yourself.
When you need help, ask. Trust people to say no if they don't want to give.
When people turn you down, it usually has to do with them and not with you. Ask someone else for what you need.
When you feel alone, know there are people who want to be with you. Fantansize what it would be like to be with each of them. Decide if you want to make that happen.
When you feel anxious, let yourself know that in your head you've moved into the future to something scary and your body has gotten up the energy for it. Come back to the present.
When you want to say something loving to someone, go ahead. Expressing your feelings is not a commitment.
When someone yells at you, physically support yourself by relaxing into your chair or putting your feel firmly on the floor. Remember to breathe. Think about the message they are trying to get across to you.
When you're harassing yourself, stop. You do it when you need something. Figure out what you need and get it.
When everything seems wrong, you are overwhelmed and need some comforting. Ask for it. Afterwards, you can think about what you need to do.
When you want to talk to someone new and are scared, breathe. Don't start rehearsing, just plunge in. If it doesn't go well, you can stop.
If you're doing something you don't like to do (such as smoking or overeating), stop. Think about what you really want. If you're stuck and can't think clearly, talk out loud to someone.
When you can't think straight, stop thinking. Feel.
When you're in need of love, reach out. There are people who love you.
When you're confused, it's usually because you think you should do one thing and you want to do another. Dialogue with yourself out loud or on paper, or present both sides to a friend.
When you feel harried, slow down. Deliberately slow your breathing, your speech and your movements.
When you have tears, cry.
When you feel like crying and it's not a safe place to cry, acknowledge your pain and promise yourself a good cry later. Keep your promise.
When somebody does you wrong, be actively angry with them.
When everything seems gray, llok for colour.
When you feel like a baby, take care of the baby in you.
When somebody gives you a gift, say "thank you". That's all you need to do. A gift is not an obligation.
When somebody loves you, just accept and be glad. Love is not an obligation. You don't have to do anything in return.
If one of these rules seems wrong for you, talk about it with someone. Then rewrite it so it fits you.
More be good to yourself therapy
8月25日
More Be-good-to-yourself Therapy
Every day, recommit yourself to being good the new person you are that day. If u r not for yourself , who will be?
每一天，重新托付你自己善待这一天全新的你。

如果你不善待自己还有谁会善待你呢？
（早上醒来好好装扮自己，以靓丽的自我迎接新的每一天）
When u r depressed, know that depression is made up of sad &angry feelings. Identify what is making u sad or angry so that u can act on those feelings.
在你沮丧气馁时，要知道沮丧是由悲伤和愤怒的情绪带来得。

找出令你愤怒或悲伤的原因，然后，对症下药。

（不要一个人生闷气，采取行动，走出阴霾）
When the world seems cold, hostile,& uninviting, go to a peaceful place inside u.
当世界天寒地冻、充满敌意、枯燥乏味时，回归内心宁静的家园。

（大隐隐于市，以内心的宁静抵挡外界的喧嚷。

）
When you feel trapped, try drawing, dreaming, or writing about some creative options. Just knowing u have alternatives will help.
如果你觉得身陷凡俗，不能自拔，试着画画、做做梦，或是写下充满创意的见解。

知道自己还可以拥有其他的选择，就可以帮助你走出困境。

（山穷水尽疑无路，柳岸花明又一村。

不要拿己的头去撞墙。

）
When u have to do something that makes u anxious-----like giving a speech or confronting
someone------close your eyes, breathe deeply, & relax. Then imagine acting with calm & quiet confidence.如果你必须做一件让自己烦心焦虑的事情--------例如演讲或对抗某人----闭上眼睛，深呼吸，然后放松。

想象自己镇定而自信的展开行动。

（放松心情，舒展身躯，抚平脸上的焦虑，天下没有过不去的难关。

）
When others criticize u, listen carefully. Determine whether they r giving u useful information or speaking from their own fears & neediness. Act accordingly.
注意倾听别人对你的批评，仔细分辨他们是在提供对你有用的信息，还是暴露自己内心的恐惧与匮乏，然后采取正确的行动。

（批评和苛刻的冷箭攻克不了内心坚实的城堡，但是要小心阿谀谄媚的罗网。

）
When u don’t get the credit u deserve, speak up. Although every contribution u make need not be acknowledged, u honor your own worth by correcting a significant oversight.
如果你没有获得应有的荣誉，大声的争取，虽然你的每一分贡献不一定要得到认可。

奖赏自己最好的方式是改正自己重大的疏失。

（认错、补过正是你尽责的表现，好老板会欣赏这样的部下。

）
When u can’t get others to understand your point of view, try to understand theirs, Maybe what you are saying & what they are hearing r not the same. Understanding can begin from either side.
如果你无法让别人了解你的观点，试着去了解他们的观点，或许你所说的和他们知道的并不一致。

互相了解总得有一方主动。

（许多言辞上的争执，可能只是定义不同的问题，不必争的面红耳赤，退一步海阔天空。

）
When u feel like a failure, do something you are good at: sew or knit, weed the garden, fly a kite, finish a crossword puzzle.
如果你觉得自己是个失败者，去做一件你拿手的事情：缝纫或编织，也可以除除草，放放风筝，去解开一个字谜。

（谁都有跌倒的时候，爬起来，拍拍屁股，继续向前进。

）
When you make a mistake, do what u can to correct it. If another person has been affected, apologize &, when appropriate, make amends. Think about what you have learned, then let it go.
犯了错就尽力去弥补。

如果连累了别人，向他道歉，在情况适宜时，补偿他。

想想学到的教训，然后将错误抛诸脑后。

（人是从错误中学习的，你应该牢记于心的是教训，而非错误本身。

）
If you are trying to motivate yourself by harassing yourself, stop. It doesn’t work; it just makes u feel bad. Instead, remind yourself of your strengths & abilities.
如果你要用折磨自己的方式来鞭策自己，停止吧！除了让自己难过、不舒服之外，这个方法行不通。

你应该反其道而行之，提醒自己你所拥有的力量和才干。

（用正向积极的思考代替负面的思考，你的潜能才能充分发挥。

）
When u have too much to do, don’t drain your energy by worrying about all that’s unfinished. Set priorities & give yourself credit for what you accomplish.
当你忙不过来时，别浪费精力去担忧那些未完成的事。

分出事情的先后，同时为自己完成的事鼓鼓掌。

（事有轻重缓急，别慌别忙，即使今天没洗完碗，明天太阳依然会升起。

）
When you are bored, make a list of things u like to do. Double the list with things you are dreamed of doing, Then do one thing from each category.
如果你觉得乏味无聊时，列出一张你喜欢做的事的清单，再加上一直梦想去做的事。

然后各选一样，就去做吧！
（梦想并非遥不可及，鼓起勇气去追求。

）
When you are impatient for something to happen, consider the time of waiting as a gift. Use it to savor the anticipation & experience the present moment.
当你的等待已失去耐心时，把着段等待的时间当作是上苍馈赠的礼物。

你可以细细品味期待的滋味，以及当时的体验。

（现象的滋味往往胜过得到的滋味，延长期盼的时间就是延长快乐。

）
When u realize you are doing unreasonable, excuse yourself. Take a walk or go to another room. Try to sort out what you are feeling. Then see if u can begin again.
发现自己不可理喻时，找个理由告退吧！去散散步或者躲到另一个房间。

试着理清自己的情绪，看看是否找得出办法，重新开始。

（成功的人找方法，失败的人找理由。

不过，有时我们需要一些托词，以便重整旗鼓。

）
When you feel pressure from yourself to “improve” or when you are telli ng yourself that u “should” do something, ask yourself what’s really going on.Are u being true to your own needs or r u repeating others’ expectations?
如果你感受到有来自自身要求“改进”的压力，或者你总是告诉自己“应该”如何，问问自己到底怎么了。

你真的忠实于自己的需求吗？还是只是复述别人的期望？
（你的身体会忠实的反映你的心理，你的心理是否也真实的反映了你的内在需求？）
When u find yourself working too hard or too long, consider whether it’s really necessary. There may be some feelings-----sad, angry, hurt, scared-----that you are trying to avoid.
如果你发现自己工作的太辛苦或太久时，想想看，真的有此必要吗？你是否在逃避某些情感呢？――悲伤、愤怒、伤痛或恐惧？
（正视自己的感情，深夜人静时，不要只顾着工作，与自我对话。

）
When someone wants your attention & u don’t feel u can respond at that moment,it’s OK to say no. You can be caring while maintaining your own limits.”No” may be a loving response.
如果有人需要你的关注，而你无法回应时，安心的说“不”，你可以在保有自己界限的同时，也去关怀别人。

说“不”，也可以是满怀情爱的回应。

（不要把自己当成机器人，别人一按钮，自己就的行动。

）
When others expect too much from you, talk about it . Tell them what u can do. Then problem-solve together to determine how they can get their other needs met.
如果别人对你期待过高，告诉他们你力所能及的事情，然后，共同寻找方法，满足他们其他的需求。

（集思广益，不要把所有事情都揽于一身。

）
When you want to take care of someone else in an inappropriate or excessive way, you probably want to be taken care of yourself. Use that energy to figure out how to meet your own needs.
如果你对别人的照顾不能恰如其分，或过度了，或许你是希望得到别人的眷顾。

把这份精力用于思考如何满足自己的需求。

（将别人伺候成老大爷，自己就沦为奴隶了，这岂不成了大傻瓜？）
When you are apprehensive, respect that feeling. It’s telling u of a threat -------real or imagined. That deserves your attention.
如果你常常忧心忡忡，正视这样的感觉；这是在提醒你眼前的威胁――无论是真实的或想象的，都值得你的注意。

（不要让自己的心情整天座在诊疗台上，烂牙早该拔除了。

）
When you are feeling scared & can’t change the situation, imagine a white, protective light surrounding your body & keeping u safe from harm, You can “send” this light to others too.
如果你感到恐惧却又无法扭转情势时，想象一道保护你的白光围绕着你，什么也伤害不了你；当然，你也可以将这道白光“传送”给别人。

（放大胆走吧，阿福在保佑你呢！）
When u experience a loss, let yourself grieve. Don’t shut down your feelings; be sad & angry & cry if u want. And don’t let anyone tell u that your loss is no important or that u should be over it already.
如果你有所失，允许自己悲伤。

不要禁锢自己的感情，尽可以悲伤、愤怒、甚至哭泣。

不要让别人告诉你，你所失去的微不足道，或是该停止悲伤了。

（悲伤也是一种力量，但是不能沉溺其中。

）
When u feel empty, allow a space for experiencing whatever is there: sadness, hurt, loneliness. Then fill up by remembering good feelings: the things you are accomplished, the contributions you have made, the ways people have loved u.
如果你感觉空虚，那就去体验那份空洞的感觉：悲伤、哀痛与寂寞。

然后，用美好的感觉来填补空虚：你的成就、贡献、以及别人对你的爱。

（心空了，才能让美好的事物进来。

）
When you have to do something you don’t want to, be gentle & sympathetic with yourself. If it’s the right thing to do, do it -------then reward yourself in a special & simple way.
如果你必须去做不想做的事情，给予自己温柔与同情。

当事情是正确的就去做吧！然后以特殊、简单的方式奖赏自己一番。

（走累了就歇歇脚，懂得呵护自己才能走更远的路。

）
When you are embarrassed, say no. Being embarrassed is human; you don’t have to hide that fact.
如果你发窘了，就说出来。

发窘是人性，你不必隐瞒事实。

（人生有许多难堪发窘的时刻，就当是娱乐别人的招数吧！）
When others r trying to make u feel guilty, identify what it is they really want & whether it’s appropriate for u to meet that need.
如果别人想要让你感到内疚，弄清对方真正的想法，看是否真的是对你的责任。

（罪恶感不是好东西，赶快将他放逐吧！）
When your anger seems too big for the situation, it’s probably about s omething old. Consider when u felt this way before & whether your feelings were ignored or unrecognized then. Acknowledge those feelings now.
如果你的愤怒在当下的情境被放大了，或许是陈年往事在作祟。

想想你过去有这种感觉是什么时候，当时年的感觉是不是被忽视了，或者是不被承认？现在，该坦诚面对那些情绪了。

（不要积压怒气，它一定会找到出口的；与其忍到火山爆发，不如让自己常常冒些烟。

）
When someone calls u names, leave the situation. There is not enough good will & respect to produce a good outcome.
当别人恶言相向时，离开现场。

缺乏善意与尊重，不会带来好结果。

（懂得抽身而退是莫大的智慧，不要让情况恶化到两人再也无法见面。

）
If you are angry with someone with whom u can’t talk it through -------because that person isn’t safe or can’t be located or has died------write a letter to that person (just for yourself ) saying all the things u feel.如果你对一个人生气，又不能跟他说明白――因为他不能承受，或是找不到他的下落，甚至他已经死了，写封信给他（只是给自己看的），说出你所有的感受。

（不能说的就用写的，然后付之一炬。

）
When you are restless & discontent, change your routine. Get up earlier or later, rearrange the living room, start walking every day.
如果你焦躁不安，而且浑身不对劲，改变一下日常生活方式。

起早一点或睡晚一点，重新布置客厅，每天开始散步。

（生活需要变化，每天给自己一点惊喜。

）
When u want something from others, let them know. What they give u won’t be less valuable if u have to ask. Their love isn’t proven by their ability to read your mind.
如果你对别人有所求，让他们知道。

即便是你先开口提出的，也不会因此减损他们付出的价值。

别人对你的爱，并不是靠他们读懂你的心来证明的。

（直接开口省了大家许多麻烦，何必遮遮掩掩徒生闷气。

）
When you are irritable, be your own friend. Take some time alone. And try taking life less seriously by doing something playful & lighthearted.
当你暴躁易怒时，做自己的好朋友，花一点时间独处。

试着不要把人生看的太严肃，找一些乐子玩玩。

（人生并非不可承受之重，让自己的心轻盈飞舞。

）
If someone’s success makes u silent, uneasy, or critical, examine what’s behind your reaction. You r not diminished when others succeed. Your life is not a competition with them.
如果别人的成功令你沉默、不安或是变的吹毛求疵，检视自己背后的动机，别人的成功并不会遮蔽你的光芒，你的人生不是一场和他人的竞赛。

（时时观照自己的内心，不要让恶念生根、滋长。

）
If your dreams fall apart, sweep up the pieces & save them. Slivers of hope can be found in the debris of shattered dreams.
如果你的梦想破灭了，把这些碎片扫起来收藏好。

碎梦的残屑中可以找到发亮的希望。

（以破灭的梦想为土壤，栽种希望的花朵，人生是永不止息的追求。

）
If one of these rules seems wrong for you, talk about it with someone. Then rewrite it so it fits u.
如果这本书所写的哪一条法则，在你身上似乎行不通，找个人谈谈，然后将它改写成适合你的法则。

（帅呆了，自己写一本独家的“疼惜自我疗法”吧。