社交话语幽默句子短句英语

社交话语幽默句子短句英语
1. I'm not antisocial, I'm just not user friendly.
2. Sorry, I can't talk right now. It's cuddle time.
3. I don't need Google, my wife knows everything.
4. I'm not lazy, I'm just motivationally challenged.
5. My fingers are long so I can reach the last Pringle in the can.
6. I'm not weird. I'm limited edition.
7. I don't trip. I do random gravity checks.
8. Better late than ugly.
9. I'm not clumsy. The floor just hates me.
10. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.
11. Skill issue.
12. Swipe left if you don't like corny jokes. I feel we have good chemist-tree.
13. Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother and we should respect her.
14. I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
15. Sometimes I wrestle with my demons, sometimes we just snuggle.
16. My life goal is to become so rich that I can hire someone to Instagram my food for me.
17. I'm a multitasker. I can listen, ignore and forget all at the same time!
18. Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
19. Tripped over my dog in the living room. Told him he's fired from his job as a trip hazard.
20. I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.。