从《老友记》看美国人的友情观和爱情观

American’s Attitudes toward Love and Friendship in
Friends
Applicant: Lin Li
Supervisor: Long Ni
Faculty: English Department
May 10, 2011
University
摘要 (ii)
Abstract (iii)
1. Introduction (1)
1.1 The Significance of Topic (1)
1.2 Research Methods (1)
2. The Main Character of Friends (2)
3. American’s Attitude towards Friendship from Friends (3)
3.1 Inclusive (3)
3.2 Supportive (5)
3.2 Independent (7)
4. American’s Attitude towards Love from Friends (9)
4.1 Free (9)
4.2 Respect (11)
4.3 Loyalty (12)
5. Conclusion (14)
Bibliography (16)
《老友记》是一部美国的情景喜剧，描述六个好朋友在纽约这座大城市发生的一些有趣的事，它从1994年拍到2004年，长达十年的时间。

《老友记》得到了很多好的评论，在同期的情景喜剧里一直是最受观众喜欢的情景喜剧之一。

《老友记》主要讲的是六个单身的好朋友（罗斯，乔伊，钱德勒，莫妮卡，瑞秋，菲比），十年间在他们身上或身边发生的有一些浪漫的感情纠纷，他们事业的起起伏伏，以及友谊的曲曲折折。

期间，他们有结婚了的，有离了婚的，也有有了孩子的，他们总喜欢聚在中央咖啡馆边喝咖啡边聊天。

本论文旨在通过《老友记》让观众看到当代美国年轻人的友谊观,爱情观和人生态度。

在老友记里，我们充分的感受到了友情和爱情这两种感情的伟大，它让我们看到了另一种和我们一样普通的生活,形形色色的人因为情感、原则、利益、地位等问题产生矛盾、闹出笑话,同时,友情、爱情也在这里升华。

关键词：友情爱情老友记情景喜剧
Abstract
Friends is an American sitcom about a group of friends in the Greenwich Village area of Manhattan, New York City. It was originally broadcast from 1994 to 2004. Friends received many positive reviews throughout most of its run, becoming one of the most popular sitcoms of all time. Friends follows the lives of six (initially) single American (Ross, Joey, Chandler, Monica, Rachel and Phoebe) as they navigate romantic relationships, career ambitions and the ups and downs of friendship. Along the way, they get married, get divorced, have kids and drink a lot of coffee at popular hangout Central Perk. This thesis aims to via Friends to tell audience the attitude toward love and life in contemporary young American. In Friends, we fully feel of the friendship and love. Friends lets us see another kind of ordinary life like us, people have problem because of emotion, principles, interests and status. Meanwhile, love and friendship accumulate as time goes by.
Key words: friendship, love, Friends, Sitcom
1. Introduction
1.1 The Significance of Topic
A situation comedy, often shortened to sitcom, is a genre of comedy that features recurring characters in a common environment such as a home or workplace, accompanied with jokes as part of the dialogue. Such programs originated in radio, but today, sitcoms are found almost exclusively on television as one of its dominant narrative forms, and art forms. A situation comedy may be recorded before a studio audience. Another feature is a laugh track. Friends is an American sitcom about a group of friends in the Greenwich Village area of Manhattan, New York City. It was originally broadcast from 1994 to 2004. It was created by David Crane and Marta Kauffman, and produced by Kevin S. Bright, Marta Kauffman and David Crane. The show has been broadcast in more than one hundred countries and still continues to attract good ratings for its episodes in syndication. There are a lot cultural backgrounds behind the scene. You cannot understand their attitudes towards love and friendship in Friends if you are not familiar to the American culture. From this point we need strengthen our understanding of American culture. Only adequate background knowledge does enable us to fully enjoy this serial.
1.2 Research Methods
The main methods for the study are watching Friends to look up different kinds of materials. I'll get more into the way that the research of Friends and analysis of Americans attitude of love and friendship. Through careful reading collected relevant data to understanding the view of American friendship and love of Friends reflect in six friends. Through the comparison and analysis of the Friends, we’ll see the cause and significance of friendship and love, and inductive similarities and differences, exploring, finally concluded.
2. The Main Character of Friends
Rachel Green, a fashion enthusiast and Monica Geller's best friend from high school. Rachel and Ross Geller are involved in an on-again-off-again relationship throughout the series. Rachel's first job is as a waitress at the coffeehouse Central Perk, but she later becomes an assistant buyer at Bloomingdale's and a buyer at Ralph Lauren in season five. At the end of season eight, Rachel and Ross have a daughter named Emma Geller-Green in "The One Where Rachel Has a Baby (2)".
Monica Geller, the mother hen of the group and a chef, known for her obsessive-compulsive and competitive nature. Monica is often jokingly teased by the others for having been extremely overweight as a child, especially by her brother Ross. Monica changes jobs often throughout the show and marries Chandler Bing in season seven.
Phoebe Buffay, an eccentric masseuse and self-taught musician. Phoebe is ditsy but street smart and writes and sings (badly) her own quirky songs, accompanying herself on the guitar. She has an "evil" identical twin named Ursula. In the last season, she marries Mike Hannigan.
Joey Tribbiani, a struggling actor and food lover who becomes famous for his role on Days of our Lives as Dr. Drake Ramoray. Joey is a womanizer with many short-term girlfriends throughout the series, and falls in love with Rachel in season eight.
Chandler Bing, an executive in statistical analysis and data reconfiguration for a large multi-national corporation. Chandler quits his job and becomes a junior copywriter at an advertising agency during season nine. Chandler is known for his sarcastic sense of humor and bad luck in relationships. Chandler marries Monica in season seven and adopts twins.
Ross Geller, Monica Geller's older brother, a paleontologist working at the Museum of Natural History, and later a professor of paleontology at New York University. Ross is involved in an on-again-off-again relationship with Rachel throughout the series. Ross has three failed marriages during the series: Rachel, Emily,
and Carol, a lesbian who is also the mother of his son, Ben (Cole Sprouse). He and Rachel have a daughter at the end of season eight.
3. American’s Attitude towards Friendship in Friends
3.1 Inclusive
The six friends are all have their problems. Monica suffers from OCD. She likes controlling all the things. Phoebe lives a miserable life in her childhood. Because of her miserable life, she becomes weird. Although her singing is hard to stand, her friends always give her courage to singing. Sometimes, Phoebe is a little crazy with his hot temper, the other friends still contain her shortcomings. At the first few seasons, Rachel cannot live by herself, lacking of ability, and hard to deal with. And she is extremely selfish with the bad temper. She even do not know how to empty the trash .But the other friends still help her a lot. They help her how to live by herself, and they forgive her bad temper. From finally several seasons, we may see Rachel have become a strong-minded and concise office lady. Ross is too pedantic, and always saying some inappropriate jokes make everyone lull. He is often chatting with friends about his academic research, and makes you sleepy. And sometimes, Ross is a little mean, for instance if he stay in the hotel, he will leave in final five minutes. Sometimes speaks too clear, and also likes correcting others’ grammar, regarding of these, other friends sometimes making fun of him, but they have never angry with him. Chandler reflects agile, he never let go of any chances to making fun of other people by the mean jokes. In fact, because miserable memory of his childhood, Chandler is extremely need for the security, so he like to making jokes with others and himself to protect himself. Joey is a playboy and greedy for food, and he always lacking of money, so he always borrow money from Chandler. Nevertheless, we can learn a lot from their friendship. The solid friendship among them doesn’t just result f rom the demand of plots. The real reason is they know the greatest principles of friendship: inclusive. They trust each other and tolerant others’ shortcoming and mistakes. The most impressive part in my heart is Chandler and Joey. In my opinion, the deepest
friendship in Friends is Chandler and Joey. Although the two of them have been close friends ever since they knew, but even good friend also have the contradiction. In the third season Chandler has fall in love with Joey's girlfriend Kathy, and Kathy also love Chandler, Chandler kissed Kathy under the hormone intense, but they had not have sex. Chandler decided to tell Joey, but after Joey knew Chandler had kissed Kathy, he felt angry and sad, and he thought it was unable to forgive Chandler. Then Joey decided to move out of their apartment. Chandler asked Joey what did he do that he can forgive him, Joey Said that if he can lock himself in the box for six hours and cannot speak, then he can forgive him, Chandler promised. But later Kathy says good-bye with Chandler before leaving New York, Chandler wanted to detain Kathy, but in order to making up with Joey, he did not speak anything in the box. Their conversation goes as follows：
……
“Joey: (starting to cry) Open the box!! (Run over to do so.)
Rachel: What?!
Joey: He can still catch her! Come on, get out of there! (He opens the box) Get out of there!
Chandler: So?
Joey: Yeah, we’re gonna be fine! Get out!
Chandler: Yeah?
Joey: Yeah, you did some real good thinking in there.
Chandler: Man, this is…
(Joey says something unintelligible and they hug.)
Joey: Now go!”
……
From above, we know Joey has forgiven Chandler finally. Therefore, towards the friend, containing your friends is very important, because, People are not sages, who can be without faults?
3.2 Supportive
A friend is not just someone to whom you say "hello". A friend is a tender shoulder on which you can softly cry. A friend is a well into which you can pour all your troubles down. A friend is a hand which pulls you up from darkness and despair when all your other "so-called friends" have helped to put you there. In Friends, the six friends always help each other a lot. When friends need our help, it is bounden that we should give the support, this also reflects in Friends many times. For instance, In fifth season, Chandler decided to move to Monica’s apartment, then Joey had to pay for rents by himself. Because Joey is an extra and he earn less profitable. Chandler is a manager, and his salary is higher than Joey, therefore Chandler always helping Joey to pay for rents by. Even Joey’s actor class's training fee is also Chandler salary. If Chandler moved out, Joey did not have money to afford varieties of bills, Chandler wants to help Joey to pay the house rent as well as other bills, but he is afraid of hurting his pride, so he decided to playing game to lose money, but on the contrary he won Joey's money. Finally Chandler had another idea. Their conversation goes as follows：
……
“Chandler: Still broken?
Joey: This sucks man! The last night you’re here and I lose the two most important things in my life, the foosball table and $500.
Chandler: Well, there are other ways of winning back your money, how about a little uh, a little Blackjack? (Hold up a deck of cards.)
Joey: Nah, not my game.
Chandler: Okay, uh, how about, how about—you’ve know what? We could play a new game. A new game, it’s fun.
Joey: Well, what’s it called?
Chandler: Cups.
Joey: I don’t know how to play C ups.
Chandler: I’ll teach ya! Come on, come on, it’s really easy and really, really fun.
Joey: All right.
Chandler: Okay, here you go. (He deals out two cards each.) I have two queens, what do you have?
Joey: A two and a five.
Chandler: Ho-ho, you win! 50 dollars!
Joey: Really?!
Chandler: Oh yeah! Okay, let’s play again. (He deals out two cards each again.) What do you got?
Joey: A four and a nine.
Chandler: You’re kidding right?
Joey: No. Why?
Chandler: Well that’s a full cup! (Pays him again.)
Joey: Damn! I am good at Cups!”
……
Finally, Chandler created the Cups to lose money for Joey, and he has not hurting Joe y’s self-respect. I feel friend is not accompany you and sharing your happiness, but also the people who help you when you are in difficulty. Therefore, supporting your friend is one of important property towards friendship. Certainly support is not only Chandler helps Joey to pay the house rent, but also reflects in many aspects. When you were down, a friend will dip you out of sadness, this is also a kind of support. The human all have their difficulties, the friend is a person stand in your side when you are in trouble. For example, Joey don’t have a stable job, he can’t afford the demonstration lesson and rents, bills. Chandler always helps him afford different kind of bills. As the friend, Chandler always stands by Joey, but he was afraid he may be hurt his pride, so he loses the contest on purpose to give Joey money. From what has been listed above, we can know the attitude of American towards friendship.
3.3 Independent
The six friends are all have their works and they have different habit, but they respect each other's life habit, everybody has his own life, they never interfere in other people's life. They are very independent, when they are in trouble, they like solve it by themselves. But, when friend needs help, they will give a support. Towards friends, but also intimacy to have personal space and respect each other's privacy. Friends should have economic independence has personality independence. This reflects in Friends many times. The most independent people in Friends is Phoebe. In this drama, there are multiple scenes that six friends have dinner, they often have dispute several times because of dinner. We can easily find that almost every time dinner they insist
in their AA system, though Phoebe, Joey and Rachel poor in the first few seasons. But they insist on pay their share of the bills. Though others are willing to help other friends and mind to pay for the costs, but they know friends must economic independence, everyone can't always rely on friends, such ability get friends’ respect. For instance, in second season, Phoebe and Rachel, Joey 's wages are low compared to other several person's, but they still persisted the AA system, even in order to economize, they chose the cheapest vegetable. So in the soap, Phoebe, Joey and Rachel are reluctant to point vegetables, because the rest of the three choice of restaurant too expensive. Their conversation goes as follows：
……
"Ross: (using calculator) Plus tip, divided by six. Ok, everyone owes 28 bucks.
Rachel: Um, everyone?
Ross: Oh, you're right, I'm sorry.
Joey: Thank you.
Ross: Monica's big night, she shouldn't pay.
Monica: Oh, thank you!
Ross: So five of us is, $33.50 apiece.
Phoebe: No, huh uh, no way, I'm sorry, not gonna happen.
Chandler: Whoa, whoa, prom night flashback.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, Monica, I'm really happy you got promoted, but cold cucumber mush for thirty-something bucks? No! Rachel just had that, that, that salad, and, and Joey with his like teeny pizza! It's just...
Ross: Ok, Phoebe! How 'bout we'll each just pay for what we had. It's no big deal.
Phoebe: Not for you.
Monica: All right, what's going on?
Rachel: Ok, look, you guys, I really don't want to get into this right now. I think it'll just make everyone uncomfortable.
Phoebe: Fine. All right, fine.
Joey: Yeah.”
……
Although finally they even had the dispute because of paying money, but Phoebe and Rachel, Joey still persists to pay money by themselves, from here, we can know they are independent towards money. In the entire ten seasons, they are all making money by themselves. And they never ask their parents for money.
4. American’s Attitude towards Love
4.1 Free
In China, many parents like to interfere in their children’s marriage. Therefore, love is not so free in China. But in America, love is free. In Friends, the six friends have many lovers. From the beginning, the six friends change their lover frequently. Male and female friend possible become lover. If you had not determined serious, both of you are free, even if you are not married, love is still free. For instance, Ross and Rachel fall in love with each other, and break up. At last, they get together. If you are enough careful, you find that it hasn’t involve in parents. Americans are very focused on their inner feelings, if they are in love, they will love each other very much, once no longer love, can separate. Chinese couples are not so free, if they are married,
and have a baby, it can be difficult to separate. For example, Ross's first wife is gay, she fell in love with Susan, then Ross and his wife split up. Later, Ross also pursue his Rachel. And when Rachel and Ross have children later, they are not married because of children, because they won't bound his own heart. The free of love also displays in the age. In the American the age of lover is not limit. For instance, Monica and Richard falling love with each other, Richard is big enough to become Monica’s daddy, and Richard and Monica’s parents were good friends, if in China, this kind of affection possibly could only conceal the truth, but Monica was very earnest to Richard, at the birthday party of Monica’s father, Monica finally had the courage to tell the parents the truth. Their conversation goes as follows：
……
“Monica: Well, actually, I'm already seeing someone.
Mrs. Geller: Oh?
Richard: Oh?
Ross: Oh.
Mrs. Geller: She never tells us anything. Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone?
Ross: Mom, there are so many people in my life. Some of them are seeing people and some of them aren't. Is that crystal?
Mrs. Geller: So, who's the mystery man?
Monica: Well, uh, he's a doctor.
Mrs. Geller: A real doctor?
Monica: No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome, and he's sweet, and knows you'd like him. She puts her arm around Richard.
Mrs. Geller: Well that's wonderful. . . ”
……
Although Monica’s parents do not support Monica and Richard, but they has not made excessively interferences. From the attitudes of their and their parents towards love, we can see that love is free, and love don’t influenced by the outside world. Free is also the request between themselves, they do not like fettering their lover, and they also don’t want to fettered by their lover.
4.2 Respect
The mutual respect is very important to American. In Friends, mutual respect manifests in many aspects. For instance, Monica and Richard, Monica love Chandler most except Chandler in the play, but they had to break up at last, because Richard did not want to have child, but Monica loved child very much. Therefore, when Monica knew Richard’s idea, she was very sad, because in her mind, couples who do not have children is not complete. Even if Richard finally expresses the compromise, but Monica understood Richard only want to satisfy her, but this kind of life wronged Richard, so it is not actually what she wants, she hopes the choice which is two people is willing. When American couples is unable to agreed with each other in significant choice, they would respect one another, and they do not force their lover to agree with himself or herself, once they discover they are no longer has the future, they will leave decisively. Another example is Rachel and Ross, when Ross are ready to marry Emily, Rachel discovered herself is still loving Ross, therefore she decided flies London to save her love, she decide to tell Ross her feeling, then lets Ross choose. But, when Rachel saw church candle and Ross's happiness with Emily, her heart melted, she congratulates Ross instead of telling Ross what she wants. Their conversation goes as follows：
“Emily: What was all that about?
Ross: (Sighing.) It was...This disagreement over...(She sighs. Ross notices her in her wedding dress.) My god. You...you look beautiful.
Emily: (Giggles.) Ohh...(She realizes that she’s in her gown.) Oh! You were not meant to see me before the wedding. It’s bad luck.
Ross: You know what, I think we’ve had all the bad luck we’re going to have. (He hugs her.)
(The front entrance. Joey and the bridesmaid are up against the wall kissing. Rachel comes in the door and walks by Joey unnoticed. She walks into the chapel and sees Ross and Emily kissing. She looks as though she wants to cry. Emily walks away and Ross turns and sees Rachel standing there.)
Ross: My God. Rachel! (He walks towards her, grasps her hands and kisses her on the cheek.) Your here. I can’t believe it. (She giggles.) What happen? Why are you here?
Rachel: Well I just came...(She touches him near his heart. She’s almos t in tears.)
I just needed to tell you...(Looking into his eyes. She takes a deep breath.) Congratulations. (He hugs her. She can barely hold back the tears.)”
Even if Ross spoke incorrectly the name cause the bride ran away, she did not rub salt in the wound when he is down, she feel sorry for Ross sincerely. From what has been listed above, we can know that love is not the possession, but respect and love each other.
4.3 Loyalty
Many people thought the sexual relationship in Friends is quite to be casual, for instance their sex partner each person experienced more than 10 people, in the play
the opinion of American towards porn is open, the man and woman have been able together to watch porn freely. The American think sex is the nature, and sex is quite common, so as long as you are not married, then it has the possibility to have the sexual relationship with others. The screenwriter Li Yinhe holds the same opinion. If you are adults, and you are willing to do, and you do not injure other people, sex should not condemn, porn is not the obscene goods, it is adult's vulgar culture, the adult has the right to appreciatie vulgar culture. On the other hand, they regarding love and the marital manner are extremely serious, if one betrayed the other one, it is cannot forgive absolutely.This is also the reason that Rachel split up with Ross in the third season. In the third season, Ross misunderstood Rachel betrayed him, so he has had the relations with a spicy younger girl, finally Rachel can not forgive Ross, then Rachel insisted breaking up with Ross.Many people thought the American are stamen, they always change companions, actually they are very loyal to the marriage. For instance，In the ninth season, when Wendy seduce Chandler, Chandler refused. Their conversation goes as follows：
……
“Chandler: Whoa-ho, back off, Missy! (He takes a step back, but she still keeps her grip on his tie.)
Wendy:(laughs) ...Missy?
Chandler: I don't know; I'm not used to girls making passes at me! ... (She lets go of his tie) Wait a minute... am I sexy in Oklahoma?
Wendy: You are to me... (She gets closer again, putting her arms around his torso.)
Chandler:(flattered) No,... no... (realizing) NO! (He quickly gets several steps away from her.) Look, I'm, I'm married!
Wendy: So? I'm married. (Showing him the ring on her finger.)
Chandler: I'm happily married.
Wendy: Oh. - What's that like?
Chandler: Right. So, I'm sorry...
Wendy: Seriously? Happy married. So that is her phone call, happy?
Chandler: Well look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. She's entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case: right on money! ... You know, she's amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and if she were here right now, ...she'd kick your ass. Look, you're a really nice person... ham stealing and adultery aside. But, what I have with my wife is pretty great, so nothing is ever gonna happen between us.
Wendy: Okay, let me ask you something: if what you and your wife have is so great, then why are you spending Christmas with me?”
……
Wendy once won the championship in the beauty contest, she is very beautiful and charming, under the so beautiful woman's enticement, Chandler has not been enticed, in this moment, what he wants all is his wife Monika, we can know he is really love his wife, we also see Chandler is very faithful to his marriage. Therefore, loyalty is very important to American, once one betrayed, the other one will split up immediately, he or she thinks it is unable to forgive.
5. Conclusion
In conclusion, this TV serial is a masterpiece that influences numerous people. It tells us what is love and friendship. Besides, I learned a lot, especially Chinese young students draw from it? In my view, we can learn three important views. First, youth is
invaluable. As a college student, I see many college students idle away on campus all days and don’t cherish youth days. We should always maintain a state of young mind. We should make good use of youth time to develop our strengths and to make contribution to our country. Second, respect parents and cherish friendship. Chinese parents are well known for their dedication for children. However, we children need dedicate more time and effort to accompanying parents. Friendship is also precious that can lead us to a meaningful life. We should trust friends and cooperate with friends. Third, Positive attitude is everything. We face a more fierce competitive society in which we must develop a positive attitude for the rest of our life. Every year, we heard a lot of college students commit suicide because of unbearable stress from study or something else. What a pity they don’t have a positive attitude. Admittedly, they are stressed. I believe that only if you are alive and you have hope, then your future is bright.
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