英文,三顾茅庐)

第一幕
屋子中，诸葛亮在屋里走着，
诸葛亮：Buliang，this classroom is so dirty，猪不亮扫地，送水（营养快线）
三兄弟上场，关羽（头巾），刘备（墨镜），张飞（不停打嗝）
刘：饭后一支烟，赛过活神仙
A cigerate after dinner plays an important role in my life.（伸手，张飞点烟，刘深吸一口，长舒一口气）
刘：嗯？没点着
En? It dosen’t burn on.
张飞：凑合着吧，老师不让抽烟
Sorry，we can only has this.We can’t smoke in the classroom!
关羽：此番前来，定要邀请的卧龙先生
We must invite Mr.Zhu Geliang!
张飞：必须的，老曹太欺负人了
Certainly,Mr.Cao bully us too much.
三人来到门前，石头剪子布
刘备：According to our custom？
关羽：OK.
张飞：No problem.
刘备三人进行石头剪子布，刘备输了，其余两人把刘备推到前面。

刘备作出一幅英勇就义的姿态，（上海滩响起）
刘备作按门铃状，（门铃声响起）。

诸葛亮：Bu liang（不亮）, go to open the door.
仆人：Heng!(哼)
仆人板着个脸到了门口，做了一个甩头的动作，并呼啦呼啦头发，然后深呼吸，放平稳，保持微笑。

然后打开门，举了个躬。

仆人：안녕하세요(发音a ni ha sai yao~~~，中文意思：你好)
刘备：Can you speak English?
关羽：（紧接着刘备）Can you speak Chinese?
张飞：（紧接着）Can you speak Japanese?
刘备：（紧接着）Spanish?
关羽：（紧接着）Congolese?
张飞：（紧接着）Egyptian?
仆人：（紧接着）Shut up! Who are you people?
刘备：(摆个pose)I’m Liubei.
关羽：(也摆个pose)I’m Guanyu.
张飞：(同样摆个pose，把关羽碰倒了)I’m Sorry.
刘备三人赶紧把仆人扶起来。

猪不亮：你们怎么来的啊
What do you three take to come here?
张飞：骑马来的啊，做骑马状
Riding a horse ,of course.
猪不亮：那你们怎么骑马来的啊？
So,How do you riding a horse?
三人面面相觑，猪不亮关门
刘备突然明白了，“money！！”
张飞关羽耸肩都没带钱，下台
第二幕
三兄弟上台，张飞关羽手提礼品
关羽猥琐的说:这次应该可以了吧，上次也怨我们
I think we’ll manage it this time.
张飞：啥啊，如果你不是拉着我，老子一嗓子吼死他（做咆哮状，老虎声音）
What? If you don’t pull me,I will easily kill him with my strong throat!
刘备：行了，行了，我们来干啥来了
稍息。

立正。

（张飞关羽照做）
Stop,stop,What are we doing here? At ease!—Attention!
刘备：都给我机灵点（张飞关羽点头答应）
You three! Be clever this time!
屋子中……
（英文歌，诸葛亮和猪不亮正喝酒，猪不亮哼着英语歌，他两个喝醉了）
诸葛亮：MY GOD！！上天你为什么这么惩罚我
My God!! Why do you punish me?!
猪不亮：老大别难过，班长杨超不也没过吗
Don’t be sad,my boss. As I know,our monitor does’t pass the examination.
诸葛亮：我的四级考试啊，开始哭．．．
What？our monitor does’t pass the examination？But，My English cet band 4 also losed···
（换背景音乐，猪不亮跟着哭，门铃响，猪不亮醉醺醺的摇摇晃晃去开门）
猪不亮：谁啊
Who’s this?
张飞：收水费的
I come here to charge the bill of electricity
（开门，三人一脸嬉笑）
刘备：我们又来了，麻烦小弟通报一下
We are here again,bother to notice your boss.
（猪不亮四下环顾，把礼品接过来了）
（屋子里传来悲伤的气息，张飞和关羽抹眼泪）
张飞：怎么突然一阵感伤涌上心头（自言自语）
I just feel some feeling of sorrow in my heart..
关羽：请问卧龙先生在家吗，我们想见一下（SEE）
Is Mr Zhu Ge home? We want to have a talk with him ,please.
猪不亮：吟诗，见与不见。

（你见，或者不见我
It’s doesn’t matter if you see me or not
我就在那里
I am standing right there
不悲不喜
With no emotion
你念，或者不念我
It’s doesn’t matter if you miss me or not
情就在那里
The feeling is right there
不来不去
And it isn’t going anywhere
你爱或者不爱我
It’s doesn’t matter）
（猪不亮转身关门，站不稳）
刘：What?！！
张飞：是不是家里死人了，下次再来吧
I’m afraid some-one important of him died here.
Let’s go. Maybe we should come next time.
关羽：希望死的不是诸葛亮
Oh, I wish Zhu Geliang does’t die…
（关羽，刘备打张飞，下台。

）
第三幕
（诸葛亮和猪不亮玩三国杀，背景音乐，术语）
（诸葛亮又赢了）
猪不亮：老大你真NB
You are the man !
诸葛亮：那是，你不想想我是干什么的，我打算过了年就去找刘备，找份工作
Hum！That’s a piece of cake. And I think I should go to Liu Bei’s corporation to find a job after Spring Festival.
猪不亮：你想去刘备那里？？
What? You said you wanna to go to Liu Bei’s company?
诸葛亮：嗯，那里用不着英语
En...That’s a good place in which I need not speak English.
猪不亮：前几天他来过了，让我赶跑了
But...uh, I drove him away a few days ago.
门铃响。

猪不亮：说来就来了
Speak of the devil and he doth appear.
（三兄弟，大跨步的走进来，诸葛亮一见到很激动）
诸葛亮：大哥，想死我了（拥抱）你带我走吧
Boss! I ached for you so much, please help me!
刘备：镇定镇定，既然兄弟这么看得起我，那咱们就一起大干一场吧
Be calm. Since you trust me so much, let’s go and do it!
（出发。

）
诸葛亮：大哥等等，那。

那，一月多少钱啊
Wait,wait...My boss, uh, how much will.. I get.. from you then.
张飞：（恐吓状）兄弟之间不谈钱，谈钱多伤感情，（拎着诸葛亮就走）
It hurts feelings when it comes to money!
（猪不亮在后面拿着包袱，大喊）
猪不亮：带上我吧，（走路（小沈阳状））
Oh, Please take me away.
闭幕。

three visits to the cottage
————by friends
three visits to the cottage（中文名三顾茅庐）is a story from one of the four great classical chinese novels——the three kingdoms. zhugeliang is one of the main characters in the original. also, he is an outstanding militarist, politician and the symbol of the wisdom in chinese history. another main actors——liubei, who visited zhugeliang's thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to be his military adviser. finally, zhugeliang was moved by liubei' sincerity, helped the three brothers——liubei, guanyu and zhangfei to establish the shu kindom. he devoted his whole life to the cause and died in harness.
our script is revised from this story and writed by my classmates of group friends. in this play, we add many modern and funny elements. for example, there are some spoken lines and actions which were copied from some classical movies like infernal affairs(中文名无间道), my own swordsman（中文名武林外传）,the flirting scholar （中文名唐伯虎点秋香）were combined in our play. also, we added some interesting pictures and audio to our slide.
maybe there are some mistakes in our dialogue. but this play is the result of painstaking efforts of our group. so we present our script to you and wish you will like it.
three visits to the cottage
aside: after their swearing brotherhood to heaven and earth in a peach garden, the three persons——liubei, guanyu and zhangfei-had to be janitors in caocao's corporation to make a living for they could not find jobs. meanwhile the legendary and mysterious character zhugeliang who had been forced to attend cet-6 test by his wife was reviewing examination contents.
scene 1: liubei's home
actors: liubei guanyu zhangfei
guanyu: brother! we three have been hungry for days and when will this tragic life end? it's so terrible!
liubei: yu, it's impossible that i don't feel painful, isn't it? but as the proverb says it
is hard to sit in rome and strive against the pope. now we come down to caocao's corporation as gatekeeper, anyhow we can fill our stomachs between whiles. it's very hard to get work now. no diplomas and no job offers, what are you dreaming about? zhangfei: oh, brother! zhugeliang's wife borrowed us 500yuan to cope with his husband’s cet-6 fees last month, it seems that it's time for us to be debt collectors now. guanyu: yeah, brother! or we'll be as poor as church mouse.
liubei: alas! how did i forget this? let's go! go~~ go~! hurry up! follow me and go to the mountain for dunning!
aside: and then the three brothers climb the mountain to find zhugeliang.
scene 2: zhugeliang’s house
actors: zhugeliang wife
zhugeliang: good morning! i am the genius zhugeliang. but i feel so morose recently. because my wife forced me to pass the cet-6. what’s cet-6? do you know? you?(ask the audience) i’ve never heart about that. and she obliged me to read so heavy books and do so many te xts. it’s ridiculous. my major is military advice, not english. why should i read this?
wife: darling!
zhugeliang：my wife is coming，she is so long-winded that i can never bear her. wife：my dear, how about your study?
zhugeliang：these books make me want to doze. i’m dizzy.
wife：darling! now, competition is so serious. if you can’t pass cet6 to get your master’s degree, it is difficult to find a job. i have stayed here for half of a lifetime. but never visit a bigger place like yangling.
zhugeliang：don’t worry, these books are too easy for your husband and don’t need to learn.
wife：are you sure? let me have a test to you. listen，read and see!
zhugeliang：a piece of cake!
wife：listen, can you spell apple? desk?
zhugeliang: sorry i can’t.
wife：you can’t? oh, how unfortunate i am! (crying) I’m wrong, I’m really wrong, I’m wrong from the beginning. i shouldn't marry here. if i didn’t marry here, i'll never in this heartrending place now,
zhugeliang：don’t cry, don’t cry, stop! i ‘m going to study hard at once.
wife (laugh): that's the spirit! do you know? we are in the red for your cet6. i even borrowed money from the gate keeper. what can i do when they dun for debts. zhugeliang: are you pointing to that gatekeeper liubei?
wife: oh! yes! come on quickly! boy!
keeper: what is the matter? madam?
wife: listen carefully! my husband is too busy doing his homework to welcome any people, so you will tell the people who calls on him that boss has went to study in england. .
keeper: yes! madam!
aside: while it is going on, liubei guanyu zhangfei have come to the gate of zhugeliang’s house.
scene3 outside zhugeliang’s house
actors: liubei guanyu zhangfei keeper
zhangfei: let me strike the door! open! open!!!
keeper: (check from the peep hole) are these men asking for the debt? (open the door) liubei: this is liubei! we are calling on zhugeliang and his wife.
keeper: zhu said he is not in.
liubei: en????
keeper: oh! no!...i mean …i mean my boss is studying english in england for the exam of cet-6,and he may not be come back this month.
liubei: ok! we are waiting for him here!
guanyu: nobody knows that when he will come back, thus, let’s go home!
aside: the three men went away with disappointed. after a month, the deeply autumn came! they came here at the second time. unfort unately, they didn’t see zhugeliang again. two month passed, the cold winter is coming! it is heavy snow and very cold outsides. zhugeliang knows the reason that why they come here three times, and orders the keeper to let them come in whiles his wife is outside.
scene4 outside zhugeliang’s house
actors: liubei guanyu zhangfei keeper
zhangfei: please tell me in time when you would see him next time, let me bind him up for you. it really should not trouble you to come here time and time again. liubei: these days, the borrower is the god! let’s go there again and show our the warmest heart to move them.(knock the door)
keeper：my boss is at home today, but he is reading books about cet-6. please wait for a moment!
zhangfei：xiao zhu! come out! brothers, help me to take care of my seventh uncle and his third niece. get out, or i will burn your house down!
guanyu: sunflower press! ai. litter brother, big brother has said several times, we are intellectuals, understand? don't be so rude, we are here for debt, not for his life. if you will kill him, where is our money?
liubei: the submortagage crisis is so serious, don’t you know that simple reason? if you know, please bat your eyes!
zhangfei (bat eyes)
guanyu: sunflower press!!!!!
zhangfei: where did you get this kongfu?
guanyu: hehe! i get it from a tv program called “my own swordsman”, which is so popular with lots of people in china!
zhangfei: why not say it earlier? we three brother could run a company of chinese kongfu if we had know that before!
guanyu: oh!! that is a good idea!!!!
keeper: don’t interrupt!!!! boss is reading!!!
liubei: keep quite!!!
aside: at this time, zhugeliang is exciting, but his wife come back soon.
scene 5: zhugeliang’s home
actors: zhugeliang wife liubei zhangfei guanyu
zhugeliang: thank goodness, here's liubei at last. ha ha ha ……….
wife: wof! darling! he may come here to ask me to repay his money. we can’t let him in.
zhugeliang: my darling, please don’t worry. i can make liubei go back with nothing by my sliver tongue.
liubei: Mr. zhugeliang. i have hunted you for a long time!
zhu: oh! you are liubei. what can i do for you ?
liu: my brother, you have borrowed me $500, when you repay it for me? i have starved for several days.
zhugeliang: i owe you $500? who can testify? please give me a chance, i want to be an honest man.
liubei: how can i give you a chance? speak it to the judge.
zhu: please look, although having ambition , you are just a guarder .we can enlarge our power from this base, and then attack caocao. at last i believe that we can reign the whole country.
liubei: I’m so surprised! i don’t know you are so ideal.
zhugeliang: if i give you a map, could i not repay your money?
liubei: en…….you know so much about affairs, are you willing to create a new country together with us?
zhugeliang: but i can’t help you, i have accustom the life at present.
liubei: if you don’t help me , the citizen will live a harder life , please don’t refuse. zhugeliang: en……sorry, i can’t. because my wife forces me to pass the ce t-6 recently. if you can help me to resolve the problem, i will help you.
liu: en…..
zhangfei: (pull) brother, come here. everything is fake now such as the milk. why can’t we find somebody help us do the test or buy a key ?
guanyu: yes! we can overdraft our salary from caocao to buy the key at first.
scene 6: zhugeliang’s home
actors: wife keeper
aside: because the salary has been given to zhugeliang to buy the key, liubei guanyu zhangfei have been starving for one month.
keeper：（happy）sir , you are really a god . cet6 has got 600 scores. be really to startle the universe and move the gods.
wife：what happened? 600 scores? oh! do not shoulder your several years studying at a cold window; do not shoulder my night holding candle accompanying you. after your master graduates, happy life will approach. cars, house, money!
scene 7: outside zhugeliang’s house
aside: after receiving the master degree, zhugeliang will go to work with liubei to establish a new kingdom.so the couples apart.
actors: zhugeliang wife liubei guanyu zhangfei
wife：honey!
zhugeliang：darling!
wife：excellent man have a long-range ambition. you should put cause above everything else , are sure not to miss me.
zhugeliang：i will have a long journey .please take care of yourself.(turn around) don’t worried, never miss you!!(run)
zhugeliang：(to liubei)your majesty, i will never forget your favour. i should be loyal and devoted to the last.
liubei guanyu zhangfei: let' go!!!!!
aside: the three men go down to the hill. that is the end of the whole story. thank you for your attention.。