【英语】九年级上册英语书面表达易错剖析

【英语】九年级上册英语书面表达易错剖析
一、英语书面表达
1．假如你即将在学校英语兴趣小组的活动中发言，请你用英语写一篇发言稿。

要点提示如下:（1）几个月前，奶奶晚饭后去跳广场舞（do square dancing）。

（2）从那时起，奶奶喜欢上了广场舞。

（3）现在，奶奶比以前健康了，有了很多朋友。

（4）有些邻居有意见，认为音乐很吵，无法入睡。

（5）你认为人们可以跳广场舞，但……
要求：（1）开头和结尾已给出，不计入总词数。

（2）要点齐全，行文连贯，可适当发挥。

Boys and girls,
I’m very happy to speak here and I’d like to talk about my grandma.
_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________
That’s all. Thank you!
【答案】Boys and girls,
I’m very happy to speak here and I’d like to talk ab out my grandma.
A few months ago, my grandma went to do square dancing after supper. Since then, she has been in love with square dancing. Now, she is much healthier than before. What’smore, she has a lot of friends. However, some neighbors have a complaint against the people who do square dancing. They think that the music is so loud that they can’t fall asleep at night.
In my opinion, people can do square dancing because it is a good way to keep healthy. But they should think about the feelings of others and they shouldn’t make a lot of noise.
That’s all. Thank you!
【解析】
这是一篇给材料作文，根据要点提示写一篇学校英语兴趣小组的活动中的发言稿。

要注意随着文章推进时态的变化，一开始应该选择一般过去时，而后面应该选用一般现在时，最后表达自己观点的时候也应该使用一般现在时。

人称为第一，三人称，注意主谓一致关系，构思文章框架，列举出可能会用到的好词好句，记住千万不能漏写信息要点。

参考词汇就是必用词汇，一定要运用到文章当中。

在写作中注意运用恰当的连词，使文章更加顺畅，自然。

2．书面表达
假如你是Amy，德国的交换生Sara下周即将来你家寄宿，昨天你收到她的来信，在信中，她询问如下信息：1．你家情况；2.有关餐桌礼仪；3. 她要承担的家务劳动；4. …现在，你就她提出的问题给她回信，也预祝她在你家过得开心！
要求：1. 文章必须包括图片中主要内容，可适当发挥；
2. 文中不得出现真实的人名、校名等相关信息；
3. 字数约110词。

Dear Sara，
I’m glad to hear from you yesterday._____________________________________________ Love，
Amy
【答案】Dear Sara，
I’m glad to hear from you yesterday. Welcome to my family next week.
I have a small family. There are three people in my family, my parents and me. In China, unlike in the West, plates are placed on the table and shared by everyone. And sometimes the Chinese hosts use their chopsticks to put food in your bowl or plate. This is a sign of politeness. The appropriate thing to do would be to eat the whatever-it-is and say how delicious it is. If you feel uncomfortable with this, you can just say "thank you |"in politely and leave the food there.
As for housework, I think it's our duty to help our parents do some housework. So you can help my parents wash the dishes, clean the room and make the bed. I hope you can take care of yourself and your family by doing housework.
Of course, if you like, I will teach you how to cook delicious dishes.
Love,
Amy
【解析】
【详解】
这篇短文使用了大量的固定句式和短语，为文章增色不少，如be glad to，hear from，unlike in the West，on the table，a sign of，help sb. do，do some housework，wash the dishes，clean the room，make the bed，take care of，how to do等。

而复杂并列结构In China, unlike in the West, plates are placed on the table and shared by everyone.和If you feel uncomfortable with this, you can just say a polite thank you and leave the food there./ I hope you can take care of yourself and your family by doing housework./ if you like, I will teach you how to cook delicious dishes.等复杂从句结构的运用，丰富了短文内容，使表达多样化，是本文的亮点。

在学习中注意总结牢记一些固定句式及短语，写作时就可以适当引用，使文章表达更有逻辑性，也更富有条理。

【点睛】
书面表达题既不是汉译英，也不是可任意发挥的作文。

它要求将所规定的材料内容经整理后展开思维，考查运用所学英语知识准确表达意思的能力。

所以，考生不能遗漏要点，要尽量使用自己熟悉的单词、短语和句式，尽可能使用高级词汇和较复杂的句式结构以便得到较高的分数。

3．随着社会的发展，通讯的方式从远古时代的书信到当今的互联网，经历着巨大的变化。

请你写一篇短文，谈谈你对现代通讯工具的使用及看法。

内容包括：
1. 你喜欢使用的通讯方式有哪些？
2. 它们的优点和缺点是什么？
3. 你认为使用现代通讯工具要注意什么？
要求：1. 不能照抄原文，不得在作文中出现真实的学校名称和姓名；2. 语意连贯，词数80左右。

开头已给出，不计入总词数。

As time goes by, there are many different kinds of communication methods now. As for me,
【答案】As time goes by, there are many different kinds of communication methods now. As for me, I prefer to chat with others by mobile phone, but sometimes I chat by communication software, such as WeChat and QQ.
Mobile phones bring great convenience to people, but people can only hear the sound by phones. By using net software, we can easily see the people we talk to on the Internet. However, sometimes we concern more about mobile phones instead of the people around.
In my opinion, we should pay more attention to the face to face communication and try not to waste too much time on mobile phones.
【解析】
【分析】
这是一篇给材料作文，谈谈我对现代通讯工具的使用及看法。

【详解】
结合所给材料，可知本文主要考查一般现在时，人称为第一，三人称，注意主谓一致问题，句子结构主要为系表结构和动宾结构，注意一些常见句式的应用，比如：there are……，I prefer to……，Mobile phones bring……，we can……，we should……，So let’s……等句式的应用。

写作中注意运用代词，注意多种句式交替运用。

写作中注意叙述顺序，符合逻辑关系。

【点睛】
本文结构紧凑，语言简练。

开头介绍了我喜欢使用的通讯方式有哪些；接下来介绍它们的优点和缺点是什么，以及使用现代通讯工具要注意什么；最后呼吁号召大家合理使用现代通讯工具。

此处prefer to do sth, by phones, on the Internet, concern about, in one’s opinion, try one’ s best等这些词组的运用也让文章增色不少。

4．书面表达
李华所在的国际学校正在开展“My Favourite Traditional Festival”交流活动，假定你是李华，请你向来自不同国家的同学介绍中国传统节日——端午节，内容包括：
1. 今年庆祝时间（6月18日）
2. 节日由来：纪念（be in memory of）屈原
3. 吃粽子，赛龙舟，挂菖蒲和艾草（calamus and Ay Tsao）……
4. 欢迎大家一起体验这个传统节日
注意：1. 词数80~100；
2.可适当增加细节，以使行文连贯；
3.文中不能出现与本人相关的信息；
4.开头已写好，不计入总词数。

Dear fellows,
The Dragon Boat Festival, also called the Duanwu Festival, is celebrated on the fifth day of the fifth month according to the Chinese calendar.
_____________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________.
【答案】Dear fellows,
The Dragon Boat Festival, also called the Duanwu Festival, is celebrated on the fifth day of the fifth month according to the Chinese calendar.People celebrate the holiday on June18 this year . People hold the dragon-boat races in memory of Qu Yuan,one of the greatest poets in China. We can watch the dragon-boat races and eat a kind of Chinese food named Zongzi during the Dragon boat Festival. People always hang Calamus and Moxa on the day.We welcome to experience this traditional festival with friends from all over the world.
【解析】
这是一篇给材料作文，向来自不同国家的同学介绍中国传统节日——端午节。

结合所给材料，可知本文主要考查一般现在时态，人称为第一，三人称，注意主谓一致问题，句子结构主要为系表结构和动宾结构，注意一些常见句式的应用，比如：People celebrate……，People hold……，We can watch……，We welcome to……等句式的应用。

写作中注意运用代词，注意多种句式交替运用。

写作中注意叙述顺序，符合逻辑关系。

点睛：本文结构紧凑，语言简练。

开头介绍了今年端午节庆祝时间，接下来介绍端午节的由来以及庆祝活动，最后欢迎大家一起体验这个传统节日。

此处according to, in memory of, a kind of, on the day, welcome to do sth, all over the world等这些词组的运用也让文章增色不少。

5．安全对每个人都很重要。

请根据以下信息内容提示，写一篇关于校园安全的英语小短文。

提示：1. 体育锻炼
2. 上下楼梯
3. 交朋结友
4. 食品卫生
要求： 1. 语句通顺，表达准确，内容连贯；
2．短文可以适当发挥；但要包含以上要点。

3．词数：80—100词。

短文开头已给出，不计入总词数。

Safety has become the focus to us all. How to be safe at school is especially important to us students.___________ _____________________________________________
【答案】Safety has become the focus to us all. How to be safe at school is especially important to us students. First, we should take care not to get ourselves injured while we are having sports. Second, There are too many students at school, and our hallways are too narrow. So don’t crowd with each other especially when we go upstairs or downstairs. Or there may be an accident.
Besides, we should be friendly and get on well with others, don’t quarrel or even fight. Last but not least , We should be careful to eat healthy food and keep away from junk food, which is harmful to our health.
In a word, it's important to remember these for us all.
【解析】
这是一篇给材料作文。

结合要点提示，可知本文主要从三个方面进行叙述，注意围绕要点组织材料，适当发挥。

根据材料内容确定主要句子的时态，及句式等重要内容。

写作中注意语义通顺，符合逻辑关系。

上下文之间可以适当使用连接词。

6．马上要初中毕业了，大家都是依依不舍的。

班主任决定在下周举办一场“My Life At School” 主题班会 , 邀请全班同学参加。

请你根据以下提示，写一篇发言稿。

My Life At School
How time flies! It's unbelievable that I'm going to graduate from my beloved school.
【答案】My Life At School
How time flies! It’s unbelievable that I’m going to graduate from my beloved school. There are many things to remember.
In the junior school, I got along well with my classmates. The teachers are very friendly and they are ready to help me. The most unforgettable thing is that I got a chance of becoming an exchange students and spent two months in Australia. I learned a lot from the experience. I also remember I served as volunteer to help others. Certainly, there were also unhappy things. My good friend Li Hua went to another school. I was very sad. Luckily, we kept in touch with each
other through emails. Besides, I was not good at Chinese writing.
I hope I can go to a dream school and make more new friends. I also wish I can do better in all subjects when I am in high school and can go to a good college.
【解析】
【详解】
这篇作文要求我们以My Life At School为题，写一篇发言稿。

题目中利用表格的形式，展示了文章的具体内容，学生们可以此为提纲进行写作。

审题可知，这篇短文应主要使用一般现在时和一般过去时，注意根据表达需要使用正确时态，并注意谓语动词的正确形式。

内容应主要包括三部分：首先是初中三年里的美好回忆；然后是不开心的事情；最后展望自己未来的高中生活。

表格中有非常具体的提示，但不能逐词翻译表格中的短语，应把他们变成自己的话，并用英语表达出来。

写作时应注意：文章中应包括表格中的所有信息，不能遗漏要点；第三部分的内容中还需要自己发挥想象力进行补充，注意应合情合理，与上文很好地衔接。

另外注意句式结构要符合英语的表达习惯，用完整的句子表达。

句式结构可以简单句为基础，穿插并列句、复合句以及其他复杂句式的使用，提升作文档次。

同时语句之间使用适当的连接成分，使文意连贯、自然。

【点睛】
这是一篇优秀的作文，短文作者根据题目要求，回忆了自己的初中生活，并展望了未来。

短文有以下几个特点：首先文章内容完整，结构清晰。

短文分三段，第一段基本是题目中给出的开头，作者使用一句话引出下文；第二段是主体，介绍了过去美好的回忆以及不开心的事情；最后一段对未来进行了展望。

各部分内容安排合理，有层次、有条理。

其次短文中使用了正确的时态和人称，语法规范，用词准确，注意了动词正确形式的变化。

句式结构完整，符合英语的表达习惯。

语言准确、得体，表达自然、流畅。

短文中使用了丰富的句型和短语，如The teachers are very friendly and they are ready to help me. The most unforgettable thing is that I got a chance of becoming an exchange students and spent two months in Australia.Luckily, we kept in touch with each other through emails. Besides, I was not good at Chinese writing.I also wish I can do better in all subjects when I am in high school and can go to a good college.等。

7．“美丽的琼海我的家，人人都要保护她”。

自双创以来，我们的生活环境得到了很大的改观，人人积极参与双创活动，让人点赞的文明行为随处可见。

作为一名中学生，请你写一篇短文号召大家加入到双创活动中来。

要求：
1.语句通顺，意思连贯，语法正确，书写规范；
2.必须包含所给提示，并做适当的拓展；
3. 行文中不得出现真实人名、校名或地名；
4. 词数80左右，（短文的开头和结尾已给出，不计入总词数）；
Since the government created the civilized and healthy city, our living environment has improved a lot. Everyone plays an important role in building our city, so good behaviors can be seen everywhere.
As junior high students,
_______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________
Let’s take action now. Our actions can make a difference and lead to a more beautiful city.
【答案】Since the government created civilized and healthy city, our living environment has improved a lot. Everyone plays an important role in building our city, so good behaviors can be seen everywhere.
As junior high students, on the one hand, there are a lot of things we can do. We should be polite to others and try to behave well. It’s kind of you to help people in need. Meanwhile, We can help clean up our city in order to make it clearer and tidier. Also, we can plant more trees and keep off grass. On the other hand, there are many things we s houldn’t do. We shouldn’t make a lot of noise loudly in the public. We can’t spit anywhere and we shouldn’t throw rubbish everywhere. At the same time, we shouldn’t break traffic rules.
Let’s take action now. Our actions can make a difference and lead to a more beautiful city.
【解析】
【详解】
琼海正在进行“双创”活动，即创建文明城市、创建健康城市，城市的生活环境有了很大的改变。

这篇作文要求我们用英语写一篇短文，号召中学生们都参加到“双创”活动中来。

题目中并没有规定具体的写作内容，而是用图表的形式，列出了写作的提纲。

通过审题可
知，这篇短文我们应从两个方面来叙述：即应该做什么；不应该做什么。

根据这个内容，写作时，把短文分成两个层次，这样可以使文章结构清晰、条理。

整篇短文应使用一般现在时态，第一人称we来叙述。

写作时应注意：首先英语的表达习惯和汉语是不同的，不能逐词翻译，写汉语式的英语，而应从句子的整体结构考虑，使用恰当的词汇、短语和句型，以常见的主谓宾或者主系表构成的简单句为主，穿插使用并列句或者复合句，改变文章节奏，提升文章档次。

语句之间使用恰当的连接成分，使文意连贯、流畅。

【点睛】
这是一篇优秀的作文，短文作者根据题目要求，向中学生们发出号召，共同参与到城市“双创”活动中来。

首先短文的内容完整，文章根据题目中列出的图表，补充了具体的写作内容，从应该做的和不应该做的两个方面，对中学生的日常行为提出了要求。

文章条理清晰，有层次。

其次短文中使用了正确的时态和人称，语法规范，语言准确，语句通顺，符合英语的表达习惯。

短文中句子结构以简单句为主，也使用了并列句和复合句以及一些较复杂的高级句式，语句之间也使用了较好的连接成分，如We should be polite to others and try to behave well. 、It’s kind of you to help people in need. 、Meanwhile, We can help clean up our city in order to make it clearer and tidier.、We can’t spit anywhere and we shouldn’t throw rubbish everywhere. At the same time, we shouldn’t break traffic rules.等等。

8．自信赋予人力量，带给人快乐。

拥有自信，人生处处是舞台，生活越来越精彩。

假如你是李华，请你为校刊英语园地“自信助我成长”专栏写一篇短文，谈谈自信的重要性，分享一次使你更加自信的经历，并说说我们如何更加自信。

提示词语：powerful，happy，believe in，keep doing
提示问题：
Why is it important to be confident?
What experience made you more confident?
How can we become more confident?
It's very important to be confident
【答案】It’s very important to be confident. Self-confidence can bring us courage to stick to what we do. So it’s valuable to us.
When I was in Grade 7, once my teacher asked me to make a speech in class. Although I practiced it for many times at home, I still felt nervous and forgot thewords at the beginning of it. Then I breathed deeply and relaxed myself. You can’t believe how happy I was when I recalled the speech and finished it successfully.My teacher thought highly of my performance and I got much encouragement from my classmates. From then on, I have become more and more confident.
To build confidence, firstly we need to clearly know about our own advantages and try to develop them. It is the most important that we should put in enough effort to what we do. Then we can finally make it and gain more confidence.
【解析】
本文内容应包含表格中所提供的所有信息。

灵活运用各种句式，采用不同的表达方式将各个要点完整地表述出来，注意主次分明，详略得当。

语言力求准确，简洁。

最后必须认真查验是否有漏写，有无拼写错误及标点误用等。

点睛：这篇短文使用了大量的固定句式和短语，为文章增色不少，如at the beginning of；know about；make a speech等；When ；Although ；Then ；From then on,等的运用，使文章的表达更有逻辑性，更富有条理；同时语言流畅，内容完整，是一篇不错的范文。

9．李华的英国笔友Jessica来信说, 她想了解中国的传统节日中秋节。

假如你是李华, 请你给Jessica写一封信, 介绍该节日。

内容须包含以下所有要点：
1. 中秋节的时间；
2. 中秋节的传统习俗及庆祝方式：全家人一起吃饭, 赏月, 吃月饼等；
3, 我最期待的活动。

要求：1.80--100词〔开头和结尾已给出, 不计入总词数）；2.语句通顺, 意思连贯, 书写工整。

Dear Jessica,
I'm glad to hear from you. Now let me introduce the Mid-Autumn Festival to
you.___________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________
Yours,
Li Hua 【答案】Dear Jessica,
I'm glad to hear from you. Now let me introduce the Mid-Autumn Festival to you. The Mid-Autumn Festival falls on the 15th of the 8th lunar month. It’s a big day for us Chinese people. All the family members get together to celebrate the festival. In the evening, we usually have a big dinner. And then we go outside and enjoy the full moon. The moon that night looks the brightest. With the beautiful moon up in the sky, we sit together to eat mooncakes, and share our stories. For me, the best part is to enjoy the moon and eat mooncakes. Mooncakes taste very delicious. They look like the moon, big and round.
Yours,
Li Hua 【解析】
【详解】
本篇写作是以书信的方式向笔友介绍中国的传统节日中秋节，要用一般现在时来写。

全文
可分两大部分，第一部分写中秋节的时间、传统习俗及庆祝方式，第二部分写我最期待的活动。

亮点说明：这是一篇优秀的作文，很好地完成了试题规定的任务，语言表达符合英语习惯，准确运用时态，主谓一致，特别使用一些亮点词句，如get together，enjoy the full moon， share our stories等。

增强逻辑关系，增加上下文意思连贯，句子通顺，行文连贯。

10．上周，你们班就初中生能否骑电动自行车上学进行了一次讨论。

现在，请你根据下表用英语写一篇介绍讨论情况的短文。

注意：
1.短文须包括写作提示和表格中所列的全部内容；
2.时态运用正确，书写工整、规范；
3.80-100词。

生词提示：electric adj.电
【答案】Last week， our class had a discussion about whether junior students could ride electric bicycles to go to
school.25 students of our class agreed with it， because they said it was convenient for them and it could take
them less time to go to school. But the other 35 students didn’t agree with them. They said it was not safe for
the junior students to get to school by electric bicycles， for they were too young. They also said in the morning
the traffic was busy and the students couldn’t ride electric bicycles quickl y.
【解析】
试题分析：本题要求以初中生能否骑电动自行车上学进行了一次讨论。

根据所给要点写一篇80-100词左右的英语短文，而且要做到表达清楚，语句通顺，意思连贯。

根据所给要点可知，本文主要以一般过去时态书写。

要注意把每一个要点都表达出来，不要遗漏任何一个，书写时一定注意时态的正确使用。

观点分明，谈及理由按照要求至少要各写两点。

并注意上下文要语句贯通。

并且要围绕主题适当发挥。

写作亮点：短文中作者按照题目的要求，给我们介绍了持不同观点的学生各自的理由，结构清晰，要点全面。

时态运用正确，书写工整规范。

该文中以下几个句子用得很好。

Because they said it was convenient for them and it could take them less time to go to school. They also said in the morningthe traffic was busy and the students couldn’t ride electric bicycles quickly.阐述各自观点时，理由也很充分。

考点：提纲类作文。