闹笑话、得罪人的十个英文句子
英语短笑话带翻译
英语短笑话带翻译笑话是实际生活中客观存在的，作为文学式样，它的特征是戏谑、讽刺，其功能是启迪、警示。
小编精心收集了英语短笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!英语短笑话带翻译篇1Mother: Mary, why do you yell and scream so much? Play quietly like Eddie. See, he doesn't make a sound.Mary: Of course he doesn't. Mom, it's part of the game we are playing. He is Daddy coming home late, and I'm you.妈妈：玛丽，你为什么这样大喊大叫的? 为什么不能像艾迪那样安安静静的玩儿呢?你看艾迪一声儿都不出。
玛丽：妈妈，艾迪当然不会出声了，因为我们俩正在玩爸爸回家迟到的游戏呢，他扮演爸爸，我扮演你。
英语短笑话带翻译篇2On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。
班上最小的女孩说，她希望舞蹈演员可以长得更高一点儿，那么他们就不用整天踮着脚尖了。
英语短笑话带翻译篇3Half or Five Tenths?Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut theorange into five tenths.半个还是十分之五老师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是十分之五个柑橘?杰拉得：我宁可要半个。
英文口语脏话
英文粗语脏话一.优雅骂人1. Stop complaining! 别发牢骚！2. You make me sick! 你真让我恶心！3. What’s wrong with you? 你怎么回事？4. You shouldn’t have done that! 你真不应该那样做!5. You’re a jerk! 你是个废物/混球！6. Don’t talk to me like that! 别那样和我说话!7. Who do you think you are? 你以为你是谁？8. What’s your problem? 你怎么回事啊？9. I hate you! 我讨厌你！10. I don’t want to see your face! 我不愿再见到你！11. You’re crazy! 你疯了!12. Are you insane/crazy/out of your mind? 你疯了吗？（美国人绝对常用！）13. Don’t bother me. 别烦我。
14. Knock it off. 少来这一套。
15. Get out of my face. 从我面前消失！16. Leave me alone. 走开。
17. Get lost.滚开！18. Take a hike! 哪儿凉快哪儿歇着去吧。
19. You piss me off. 你气死我了。
20. It’s none of your business. 关你屁事！21. What’s the meaning of this? 这是什么意思？22. How dare you! 你敢！23. Cut it out. 省省吧。
24. You stupid jerk! 你这蠢猪！25. You have a lot of nerve. 脸皮真厚。
26. I’m fed up. 我厌倦了。
27. I can’t take it anymore. 我受不了了！（李阳老师常用）28. I’ve had enough of your garbage. 我听腻了你的废话。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短【英语翻译笑话】[修改版]
![20个英语笑话爆笑超短【英语翻译笑话】[修改版]](https://img.taocdn.com/s3/m/a8884e71ec3a87c24128c47c.png)
1．we two who and who？咱俩谁跟谁阿2．how are you ? how old are you?怎么是你，怎么老是你？3．you don"t bird me,i don"t bird you你不鸟我，我也不鸟你4．you have seed i will give you some color to see see,pothers ！together up ！你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！5．hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!! 有事起奏，无事退朝6．you me you me彼此彼此7．you give me stop!!你给我站住！8．know is know noknow is noknow知之为知之，不知为不知...9．watch sister表妹10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse" son can make hole!!龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子大地洞11．american chinese not enough美中不足12．one car e one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die车祸现场描述13．heart flower angry open心花怒放14．go past no mistake past走过路过，不要错过15．小明：i am sorry!老外：i am sorry too!小明：i am sorry three!老外：what are you sorry for?小明：i am sorry five!16．if you want money,i have no;if you want life,i have one!要钱没有，要命一条17．i call li old big. toyear 25.我叫李老大，今年25。
简短的英语笑话带翻译
简短的英语笑话带翻译篇一：短篇英语笑话10则带翻译短篇英语笑话10则带翻译① Goldfish金鱼Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them! =================================================================== 斯丹：我赢了92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！② The Revenge 欺骗的代价欺骗的代价Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone a er you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!" =================================================================== 老农约翰逊就要死了。
他的家人都站在床边。
英文不好闹的笑话
1. 有次房东问我did u eat anyting yet? 我说no.她听后重复了一遍so u didn’t eat anyting. 我说yes…房东老太太犹豫了下又问did u eat？我说no. 她接着说s o u didn’t eat.我说yes ……估计她当时要崩溃了2. 刚上班不久，有个公司的A/R打电话来催支票，我循例问了一下他是哪间公司打来的，那男的很有礼貌的说：“Thi s is xxx calling from Beach Brother.” 听懂了很开心，不过由于对公司名字还不熟，心想先用笔记下来公司名，省得等下忘记了，正得意忘形之间，顺嘴开始拼写人家公司的名字，还说得一本正经：”b.i.t.c.h……bitch, correc t?”。
那男的终于还是没能忍住怒火，近似于怒吼似的对我喊道：”NO!!! B.E.A.C.H…..BEACH!!!!!!”接下来的一年里，没再跟这间公司有过任何生意往来……汗3. 读语言学校的时候，一哥们很爱讲，和ESL老师聊天练习英语，口沫横飞了半天，那老师很生气的说dont speak chinese to me.4. 我男朋友以前在温哥华乘skytrain的时候，一个白人女人说：I am sorry. 他直接说: you are welcome. 对方都呆了。
5. 我一个朋友,想在家做饭,家里没有油,就去超市买了一瓶回来,开火,放油,然后锅里开始出现大量泡沫,接着烧了起来。
回头一问房东,他买的是洗洁精。
6. 第一次跟老外去打painball，玩的是抢旗的那种。
由于第一次玩，一直跟着个看起来很专业的队友跑，一路上躲着子弹跑到对方的base. 我们人都挂了，对方就剩一个人在看老家。
就听那老外跟我说了一大堆术语，我也没听懂。
他看我没听懂就跟我说：it’s easy just cover me when i go out. 说完了就喊了一声cover me! 然后跑了出去，我也不懂他是让我掩护他，没等我想清楚他就跑了。
英文怼人的句子
英文怼人的句子
1. You're such a moron! 就像你连一加一等于二都不知道一样！
2. What the hell are you doing? 你到底在搞什么鬼啊，就像只无头苍蝇乱撞！
3. Shut up, you idiot! 闭上你的嘴，你个蠢货，就像个不停呱呱叫的鸭子！
4. You're a pain in the ass! 你真是个讨厌鬼，就像那怎么赶都赶不走的苍蝇！
5. Get out of my face! 从我面前消失，像那令人厌恶的臭味一样滚开！
6. You're so annoying! 你太烦人了，跟那一直嗡嗡响的蚊子有啥区别！
7. Don't be such a jerk! 别这么混球，就像个无理取闹的小孩！
8. You're a loser! 你就是个失败者，就像那扶不起的阿斗！
9. Are you crazy? 你疯了吗，像那失去理智的野兽！
10. Leave me alone! 别烦我，就像我需要远离那糟糕的噪音！
结论：这些英文怼人的句子简单直接，在需要表达不满和愤怒的时候可以派上用场，但也要注意使用场合，不要过度伤人。
表达厌恶别人的英语句子
表达厌恶别人的英语句子1. 讽刺别人的英语句子有哪些1. Stop complaining！别发牢骚！2. You make me sick！你真让我恶心！3. You shouldn't have done that！你真不应该那样做！4. You're a jerk！你是个废物/混球！5. Don't talk to me like that！别那样和我说话！6. Who do you think you are？你以为你是谁？7. What's your problem？你怎么回事啊？8. I hate you！我讨厌你！9. I don't want to see your face！我不愿再见到你！10. You're crazy！你疯了！11. Don't bother me. 别烦我。
12. Knock it off. 少来这一套。
13. What's the meaning of this？这是什么意思？14. How dare you！你敢！15. Cut it out. 省省吧。
16. You have a lot of nerve. 脸皮真厚。
2. 关于表达喜欢别人的英语口语句子或短语我喜欢你。
I like you.你好棒。
Your attagirl.你很可爱。
You are very lovable很高兴见到你。
Sees you very happily.你很漂亮。
You are very attractive认识你是我的荣幸。
Knew you are my being honored你真是一个好人。
You really are a good person你让我觉得你们国家的博大精深。
You let me think your country broad and profound3. 经典的骂人的英文句子有哪些已解决问题收藏转载到QQ空间美国俚语中骂人的句子..？10 [ 标签：俚语，美国俚语，骂人 ] 有那些美国俚语中经典的骂人句子？？简短一点..越经典越好。
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全（带翻译）
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全（带翻译）下面是编辑整理的英语小笑话，希望能让您捧腹大笑!英语小笑话【一】1、The Fish NetCan you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.翻译：鱼网你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。
把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
小女孩回答道。
2、律师和胳膊、宝马A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer", he whined."You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off"翻译：一个律师打开他的宝马车门，突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了，警察赶到现场，律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。
“警察同志，看看他们把我的车弄的”律师哀怨地说。
经典英语冷笑话
经典英语冷笑话下面是店铺整理的经典英语冷笑话，欢迎大家阅读!经典英语冷笑话一:1、Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。
One boy throws his bag out the window.一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。
Teacher: who just threw that?!老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?Boy: Me! I’m going home now.男孩：我!我现在要回家了。
经典英语冷笑话二：2、What dog can jump higher than a building?什么狗比大楼跳的还高?Anydog, buildings can't jump!任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来!经典英语冷笑话三：3、What has a head, a tail, and no body?什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体?A coin!硬币。
经典英语冷笑话四：4、What has one eye but cannot see?什么有一只眼睛，却看不见?A needle.针。
经典英语冷笑话五：5、Wife: "How would you describe me?"妻子：你会怎么形容我呢?Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK.Wife: "What does that mean?"妻子：那是什么意思?Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable,gorgeous, and hot."丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?Husband: "I'm just kidding!"丈夫：开个玩笑!经典英语冷笑话六：The newlyweds entered the elevator of their Miami Beach hotel.一对新婚夫妇走进位于迈阿密海滩旅馆的电梯。
讽刺的英语句子
63. I never want to see your face again!
我再也不要见到你！
64. That’s terrible.
真糟糕。
65. Just look at what you’ve done!
看看你都做了些什么！
66. I wish I had never met you.
你脑子进水啊？
33. How can you say that?
ห้องสมุดไป่ตู้你怎么可以这样说？
34. Who says?
谁说的？
35. That’s what you think!
那才是你脑子里想的！
36. Don’t look at me like that.
别那样看着我。
37. What did you say?
reservation预定预约roomreservation可修改可编辑精选文档go
1. You make me sick!
你真让我恶心！
2. What’s wrong with you?
你怎么回事？
3. I’m very disappointed.
真让我失望。
4. Go to hell.
去死吧。
5. You’re a jerk!
你对我来说什么都不是。
49. It’s not my fault.
不是我的错。
50. You look guilty.
你看上去心虚。
51. I can’t help it.
我没办法。
52. That’s your problem.
那是你的问题。
53. I don’t want to hear it.
让你吐血的超级搞笑英文翻译
1．we two who and who？咱俩谁跟谁阿2．how are you ? how old are you?怎么是你，怎么老是你？3．you don't bird me,I don't bird you你不鸟我，我也不鸟你4．you have seed I will give you some color to see see,brothers！together up ！你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！5．hello everybody!if you have something to say,they say! if you have nothing to say,go home!!有事起奏，无事退朝6．you me you me彼此彼此7．You Give Me Stop!!你给我站住！8．know is know noknow is noknow知之为知之，不知为不知…9．WATCH SISTER表妹10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse's sons can make hole!!龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子会打洞！11．American Chinese not enough美中不足12．one car come one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die车祸现场描述13．heart flower angry open心花怒放14．go past no mistake past走过路过，不要错过15．小明：I am sorry!老外：I am sorry too!小明：I am sorry three!老外：What are you sorry for?小明：I am sorry five!16.If you want money,I have no; if you want life,I have one!要钱没有，要命一条17．I call Li old big. toyear 25.我叫李老大，今年25。
闹笑话、得罪人的十个英文句子
闹笑话、得罪人的十个英文句子我们讲英文犯错难免，有时就算是说自己的母语中文，也未必就一定全对。
但语法上小错其实不打紧，真正会带来麻烦、失去商机的往往是不礼貌、让人会错意、闹笑话的说法。
我们帮读者整理会引起误解的英文，其中很多案例，你看了会大喊“哎呀，我真的会这样讲！”因为这真的exactly来自真实的例子，办公室里、教室里的实际对话和经验。
1、Don't forget to carry your thing.（请不要忘记你的私人物品。
）如果原句被老外听见会闹笑话喔，"your thing" 经常是老外指某些器官而不明言时用语...应该这样说才对：Don't forget (about) your personal belongings.2、Can I see your proposal?（我可以看你的案子吗？）Can是指一种能力，这样问等于是在问：我眼睛看不看得见你的报告。
别人会想，我怎么知道你眼睛看不看得见？应该这样说才对：May I see your proposal?3、I will call your telephone.（我打你的电话。
）Call your telephone是打给你的「电话」，不合理。
应该这样说才对：I will call your number./I will call you.4、I cooked my grandma.（我做饭给祖母吃。
）cooked my grandma变成把祖母煮来吃。
应该这样说才对：I cooked for my grandma.5、How do you feel about me?（你觉得我表现得怎么样？）原句会让人以为你对他有意思。
应该这样说才对：How do you think I did?6、I will remember you forever.（我会永远记住你。
）不必夸张，中肯一点可信度会更高。
英语幽默笑话句子
英语幽默笑话句子1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.2. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!3. Why don't skeletons fight? They don't have the guts.4. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.5. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.6. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!7. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.8. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!9. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.10. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!11. How do you organize a space party? You "planet"!12. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.13. What did the big flower say to the little flower? "Hi, bud!"14. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.15. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!16. Why don't skeletons fight? They don't have the guts.17. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.18. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.19. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.20. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!21. I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.22. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.23. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.24. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? Because all the fans left.25. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!26. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crumby.27. What do you call a snobbish criminal going downstairs? A condescending con descending.28. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.29. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!30. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!31. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.32. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.33. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!34. Why don't skeletons fight? They don't have the guts.35. How do you fix a broken tomato? Tomato paste.36. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.37. What did one wall say to the other? "I'll meet you at the corner."38. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.39. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!40. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.41. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!42. What do cows do for fun? They go to the moooo-vies.43. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!44. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.45. How do you organize a space party? You "planet"!46. What did the big flower say to the little flower? "Hi, bud!"47. Why don't ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies.48. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.49. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!50. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!总结：以上提供了50个英语幽默笑话句子，希望能给你带来一些欢乐和轻松的时刻。
100句损人的经典英语口语
100句损人的经典英语口语都说损人不利己，但是生气起来还是会想要说一些英文句子来骂人呢。
下面是店铺带来骂人损人的经典英语口语，以供大家学习参考。
100句损人的经典英语口语11. Enough is enough! 够了够了!2. Don't waste my time anymore. 别再浪费我的时间了!3. Don't make so much noise. I'm working. 别吵，我在干活。
4. It's unfair. 太不公平了。
5. I'm very disappointed. 真让我失望。
6. I don't want to see you* **ce! 我不愿再见到你!7. What do you think you are doing? 你知道你在做什么吗?8. Don't you dare come back again! 你敢再回来!9. You asked for it. 你自找的。
10. Nonsense! 鬼话!11. You're crazy! 你疯了!12. Are you insane/crazy/out of your mind? 你疯了吗?(美国人绝对常用!) Don't bother me. 别烦我。
13. Knock it off. 少来这一套。
14. Get out of my face. 从我面前消失!15. Leave me alone. 走开。
16. Get lost.滚开!17. Take a hike! 哪儿凉快哪儿歇着去吧。
18. You piss me off. 你气死我了。
19. It's none of your business. 关你屁事!20. What's the meaning of this? 这是什么意思?21. How dare you! 你敢!22. Cut it out. 省省吧。
100句教你用英语怼人
100句教你用英语怼人As the global language, English has become the primary tool for communication and expression across diverse cultures and backgrounds. While it is often used to convey ideas, emotions, and information in a polite and constructive manner, the English language can also be leveraged to deliver scathing insults and put-downs. In this essay, we will explore 100 sentences that can be used to insult people in the English language.1. You are dumber than a box of rocks.2. Your intelligence is about as sharp as a ball of butter.3. I've seen more intelligent life forms in my toilet bowl.4. The elevator in your brain doesn't go all the way to the top floor.5. If I wanted a bitch, I would have bought a dog.6. You're not pretty enough to be this stupid.7. Your face is like a roadmap of stupid.8. The last time I saw a face like yours, I paid a admission.9. You're not pretty, but at least your personality is also ugly.10. You are the human version of a participation trophy.11. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.12. I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.13. You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.14. If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless.15. You're not the sharpest tool in the shed, are you?16. I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.17. I'm jealous of all the people who haven't met you.18. You're so dense, light bends around you.19. I'm not saying you're stupid, but I'm also not saying you won't win a Nobel Prize.20. You're not pretty, but your ugly personality more than makes up for it.21. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.22. You're the reason Benadryl comes with a child-proof cap.23. If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents.24. You're not pretty enough to be this much of an asshole.25. I bet your brain works as fast as a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.26. If I wanted a bitch, I would have bought a dog.27. You're not just a piece of shit, you're the whole turd.28. I would agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.29. I'm not saying you're a gold digger, but it has nothing to do with the fact that you're poor.30. You're so fake, Barbie is jealous.31. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.32. The problem with your gene pool is that there's no lifeguard.33. I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.34. You're not just a piece of shit, you're the whole turd.35. I'd slap you, but I don't want to make your face look better.36. You have the perfect face for radio.37. If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents.38. You're so fake, Barbie is jealous.39. I'm not saying you're stupid, but I'm also not saying you'll win a Nobel Prize.40. You're not pretty, but your ugly personality more than makes up for it.41. You're so dense, light bends around you.42. You're the reason Benadryl comes with a child-proof cap.43. I'm jealous of all the people who haven't met you.44. You're the human version of a participation trophy.45. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.46. I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support tocharge my phone.47. You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.48. If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless.49. You're not the sharpest tool in the shed, are you?50. I bet your brain works as fast as a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.51. You're so fake, Barbie is jealous.52. I'd slap you, but I don't want to make your face look better.53. You have the perfect face for radio.54. If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents.55. You're not just a piece of shit, you're the whole turd.56. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.57. The problem with your gene pool is that there's no lifeguard.58. I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.59. I'm not saying you're a gold digger, but it has nothing to do with the fact that you're poor.60. You're not pretty enough to be this much of an asshole.61. You're the human version of a participation trophy.62. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.63. I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.64. You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.65. If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless.66. You're not the sharpest tool in the shed, are you?67. I bet your brain works as fast as a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.68. You're so fake, Barbie is jealous.69. I'd slap you, but I don't want to make your face look better.70. You have the perfect face for radio.71. If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents.72. You're not just a piece of shit, you're the whole turd.73. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.74. The problem with your gene pool is that there's no lifeguard.75. I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.76. I'm not saying you're a gold digger, but it has nothing to do with the fact that you're poor.77. You're not pretty enough to be this much of an asshole.78. You're the human version of a participation trophy.79. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.80. I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.81. You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.82. If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless.83. You're not the sharpest tool in the shed, are you?84. I bet your brain works as fast as a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.85. You're so fake, Barbie is jealous.86. I'd slap you, but I don't want to make your face look better.87. You have the perfect face for radio.88. If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents.89. You're not just a piece of shit, you're the whole turd.90. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.91. The problem with your gene pool is that there's no lifeguard.92. I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.93. I'm not saying you're a gold digger, but it has nothing to do with the fact that you're poor.94. You're not pretty enough to be this much of an asshole.95. You're the human version of a participation trophy.96. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.97. I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.98. You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.99. If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless.100. You're not the sharpest tool in the shed, are you?。
幽默讽刺的英文句子
幽默讽刺的英文句子1. I'm sorry, did my sarcasm get lost in text translation?2. I called my bank's customer service and I had to press 1 for English. I can only assume that means their default language is "confusion".3. Some people say I'm too sarcastic. Like that's a bad thing...4. If I had a dollar for every time someone called me lazy, I'd probably hire someone to spend it for me.5. My hobbies include overthinking, sarcasm, and taking naps.6. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I'm pretty close to being a limited edition.7. I may not be funny, but at least my life is a joke.8. I'm not saying I'm a genius, but I do get the occasional "oh really?" from my microwave when it finishes cooking.9. Humor is just sarcasm wrapped up in sunshine and rainbows.10. Success is just a sarcastic way of saying "I fooled them all".11. I don't need Twitter to tell me I'm hilarious, my mirror does it every morning.12. I tried being normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.13. The best way to escape a problem is to mock it while running away.14. My brain is like an internet browser, with 19 tabs open and at least 3 of them are frozen.15. My level of sarcasm has reached the point that I don't even know ifI'm joking or not anymore.16. Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.17. I always carry a pen in my pocket, because you never know when you might come across someone who needs a signature for a restraining order.18. I didn't trip, I was just testing gravity. It still works.19. I don't need anger management, I need people to stop pissing me off.20. My life is like a romantic comedy, minus the romance and just full of comedy.21. My bed is my happy place. It understands me when no one else does.22. I speak fluent sarcasm, it's my second language.23. Life's too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can't laugh at yourself, call me. I'll laugh at you.24. I don't need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.25. I'm not lazy, I just have a strong aversion to unnecessary movement.26. I'm not awkward, I'm just limited edition.27. If sarcasm was a superpower, I would be invincible.28. I can't read minds, but I can definitely judge you based on your Instagram captions.29. Reality called, but I sent it to voicemail because it was being toounrealistic.30. Don't worry if you don't have a sense of humor, I'm sure someone out there will find you charmingly boring.。
职场怼人文案英文句子
职场怼人文案英文句子1. In the professional world, I am the queen/king of burnout, and I won't let anyone steal my crown.2. Don't bring a knife to a corporate gunfight, darling.3. My skills are sharper than your gossiping tongue.4. I may smile, but behind this facade lies the ultimate badass.5. Oh sweetie, you're playing checkers while I'm playing chess - and winning.6. The only thing bigger than my ambition is my perfectly crafted comeback.7. I eat negative feedback for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and I'm still hungry for success.8. In this cutthroat corporate jungle, I'm the lioness that strikes fear into the hearts of feeble souls like you.9. Your criticism is insignificant compared to the fire that burns within me.10. I've faced rejection more times than you've had cups of coffee, and I'm still standing.11. While you're busy talking behind my back, don't forget to bow down to my achievements.12. My accomplishments are louder than your empty words.13. I may stumble, but I'll always rise - and leave you in my dust.14. Don't mistake my silence for weakness; it's the calm before the storm.15. I've got 99 problems, but your opinion isn't one of them.16. Behind every successful person is a crowd of haters who can't keep up.17. In the art of professional warfare, I am the undefeated champion.18. The only thing threatened by my brilliance is your ego.19. Your inability to comprehend my greatness is not my concern.20. Keep your excuses to yourself; I'm saving them for a rainy day.21. I thrive on the tears of my critics - so keep them coming.22. While you play it safe, I'm breaking down barriers and soaring to new heights.23. Your negativity is like fuel to my fire; it only makes me burn brighter.24. I didn't climb the corporate ladder; I built it from scratch.25. Behind my sweet smile is a mind that's calculated, strategic, and unstoppable.26. Your attempts to bring me down only serve as a reminder of your own insignificance.27. There's a special place in my heart for those who doubted me; it's called motivation.28. The only thing more beautiful than my success is the perplexed expression on your face.29. Mistaking my kindness for weakness is your biggest mistake yet.30. I'm not afraid of failure because I'm too busy dominating the game.。
各种英语版冷笑话大全
各种英语版冷笑话大全Keep Your Head头脑要保持冷静!A young man was working in the produce section of a grocery store when a customer asked him for half a head of cabbage.有一个年轻人在一家杂货店的农产部门工作，一天一位顾客要向他买半颗包心菜"Sir, we don't sell half heads of anything. "“先生，我们东西都没有卖半颗的。
”"Well, I insist; 1 0nly want half a head. "“哎呀，我就买半颗，我只要半颗。
”"I'll ask the manager. "“我要问问经理才行。
”The young man walked to the manager's office and, not realizing that the customer had followed him, said to the manager,那名年轻人走到经理的办公室，不知道那位顾客尾随着他，他对经理说道："Sir, some asshole wants to buy just half a head of cabbage. "“经理，有个浑蛋只要买半颗包心菜。
”Turning and noticing the customer, he quickly added,他转身发现那名顾客，立刻又补充说："And this gentleman wants the other half. "“而这位先生要买另一半。
”Later, the manager took the young man aside and said,稍后，经理把他拉到一旁说道："That was quick thinking, young fellow. We can use bright lads like you. If I hear of a higher position opening up, I'll keep you in mind. "“年轻人，你反应真快。
[戒掉烂英文] 闹笑话、得罪人的十大「英文金句」
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鬧笑話、得罪人的十大「英文金句」 撰文者：世界公民文化中心我們講英文犯錯難免，有時就算是說自己的母語中文，也未必就一定全對。
但文法上小錯其實不打緊，真正會帶來麻煩、失去商機的往往是不禮貌、讓人會錯意、鬧笑話的說法。
我們將陸續幫讀者整理會引起誤解的英文，其中很多案例，你看了會大喊「哎呀，我真的會這樣講！」因為這真的exactly來自真實的例子，辦公室裡、教室裡的實際對話和經驗。
1、Don't forget to carry your thing.（請不要忘記你的私人物品。
）如果原句被老外聽見會鬧笑話喔，"your thing" 經常是老外指性器官而不明言時用語...應該這樣說才對：Don't forget (about) your personal belongings.2、Can I see your proposal?（我可以看你的案子嗎？）Can是指一種能力，這樣問等於是在問：我眼睛看不看得見你的報告。
別人會想，我怎麼知道你眼睛看不看得見？應該這樣說才對：May I see your proposal?3、I will call your telephone.（我打你的電話。
）Call your telephone是打給你的「電話」，不合理。
應該這樣說才對：I will call your number./I will call you.4、I cooked my grandma.（我做飯給祖母吃。
）cooked my grandma變成把祖母煮來吃。
應該這樣說才對：I cooked for my grandma.5、How do you feel about me?（你覺得我表現得怎麼樣？）原句會讓人以為你對他有意思。
應該這樣說才對：How do you think I did?6、I will remember you forever.（我會永遠記住你。
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闹笑话、得罪人的十个英文句子
我们讲英文犯错难免，有时就算是说自己的母语中文，也未必就一定全对。
但语法上小错其实不打紧，真正会带来麻烦、失去商机的往往是不礼貌、让人会错意、闹笑话的说法。
我们帮读者整理会引起误解的英文，其中很多案例，你看了会大喊“哎呀，我真的会这样讲！”因为这真的exactly来自真实的例子，办公室里、教室里的实际对话和经验。
1、Don't forget to carry your thing.
（请不要忘记你的私人物品。
）
如果原句被老外听见会闹笑话喔，"your thing" 经常是老外指某些器官而不明言时用语...
应该这样说才对：Don't forget (about) your personal belongings.
2、Can I see your proposal?
（我可以看你的案子吗？）
Can是指一种能力，这样问等于是在问：我眼睛看不看得见你的报告。
别人会想，我怎么知道你眼睛看不看得见？
应该这样说才对：May I see your proposal?
3、I will call your telephone.
（我打你的电话。
）
Call your telephone是打给你的「电话」，不合理。
应该这样说才对：I will call your number./I will call you.
4、I cooked my grandma.
（我做饭给祖母吃。
）
cooked my grandma变成把祖母煮来吃。
应该这样说才对：I cooked for my grandma.
5、How do you feel about me?
（你觉得我表现得怎么样？）
原句会让人以为你对他有意思。
应该这样说才对：How do you think I did?
6、I will remember you forever.
（我会永远记住你。
）
不必夸张，中肯一点可信度会更高。
没有人能活到forever。
应该这样说才对：I'll always remember you.
7、Give you.
（给你。
）
我们把东西递给人时，中文有时会说「给你」或「拿去吧」，相当于英文里的Here you are.。
不要直翻成take it或give you。
8、I'm boring.
（我觉得很无聊。
）
这句话会变成我这个人很无聊。
应该这样说才对：I'm bored.
9、What is your meaning?
（你的意思为何？）
这句话会变成「你的人生有何意义」，似乎对方没有存在的必要，不礼貌。
应该这样说才对：What do you mean?
10、You go first.
（您先请）
中文说您先请，但在英文里好像命令人叫他先走，礼貌一点的说法是，我会走在你后面"After you."。