搞笑的英语演讲稿
英语演讲稿笑话（精选多篇）
-------------------------------------------------------精选财经经济类资料---------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 英语演讲稿笑话(精选多篇) two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. he doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. the other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. he gasps, “my friend is dead! what can i do?”. th e operator says “calm down. i can help. first, let’s make sure he’s dead.” there is a silence, then a shot is heard. back on the phone, the guy says “ok, now what?”简单翻译: 两个猎人在森林里打猎,突然甲倒下了并且看上去不再呼吸了,眼睛也变得呆滞. 乙赶紧拿起电话打给救护中心,上气-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 不接下气的说:”我的朋友死了,怎么办?.”服务人员说:”淡定,我有办法.首先,我们嘚确保他是死了.” 安静了一会儿,电话里响起了一阵枪声,电话那头乙说道:”好了,那接下来怎么办.”下面是被评选世界第二搞笑的笑话：sherlock holmes and dr watson were going camping. they pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. sometime in the middle of the night holmes woke wat son up and said: “watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”watson replied: “i see millions and millions of stars.”holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”watson replied: “well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it ’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. and if -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”and holmes said: “watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”简单翻译:甲乙一起去野营.他俩在星光下搭好帐篷然后睡去. 半夜的某时,甲叫醒乙:”抬头看看那些星星,然后告诉我你发现了什么”乙:”我看见好多好多的星星.”甲:”如此你能推断出什么结论?”乙回答道:”嗯假如天上有无数的恒星,而且其中一些有自己的行星,那么很有可能就会有像地球一样的星球存在.假如有像地球一样的星球存在,那里还可能存在生物.”甲无语:”你个sb.这说明有人偷了我们的帐篷.”英语笑话笑话一：a woman gets on a bus with her b aby. the bus driver says: “that’s the ugliest baby that i’ve ever seen. ugh!” the woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- down, fuming. she says to a man next to her: “the driver just insulted me!” the man says: “you go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, i’ll hold your monkey for you.”笑话二：sherlock holmes and dr watson were going camping. they pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. sometime in the middle of the night holmes woke watson up and said: “watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see.” watson replied: “i see millions and millions of stars.” holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?” watson replied: “well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it ’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. and if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.” and holmes said: “watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”1.a boy swore to a girl: ‘honey, do -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- please marry me, otherwise i’ll die’the girl refused. sixty years later, the boy died. 一男生向一女生发誓：亲爱的，请你一定要嫁给我，不然我会死掉的女孩拒绝了。
幽默又有意义的英语演讲稿
幽默又有意义的英语演讲稿篇一：幽默的英语演讲稿英语演讲幽默开场白作为一个演讲者，我从观众那只得到过两种抱怨：一种是我讲话声音太大了，他们无法入睡；第二种是我讲得时间太长了，他们无法一直清醒。
作为一个讲演者，他的演讲总拿来和林肯的哥得堡演讲[一个著名的演讲]相比较。
当他演讲结束时，也有悲伤、眼泪和悲痛——特别是计划委员会。
幽默注释：演讲者讲得太糟糕了，组织者哭得很伤心。
演讲结束时，宴会主人感谢你从繁忙的日程中抽出时间来——你泰然自若，优雅地点头微笑着，心里非常清楚你日历上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝点咖啡poise is when youfinish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busyschedule to be a part of their program --- and you nod and smile graciously knowingfull well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast.幽默注释：一些老干部退休后没什么事干，有人请他参加一些活动，他还假装很忙，好象推开了很多事才赶去似的。
过去我演讲时常常会比较紧张，但那时我看到一条信息说如果你想象所有的观众都是裸体会有所帮助。
此时此刻，我站在这里想象着观众都是裸体，真的起作用，我不再紧张了，但眼睛有些疲劳。
i used to get nervous when giving a speech but then i read that it helps to thinkof the entire audience as being naked. and so, at this very moment, i’m standingup here imagining every one in this audience as being naked. and it really works.i no suffer from nervousness. eyestrain. yes幽默注释：把观众想象成裸体，意思是我不怕你们，就不紧张了。
三分钟搞笑英语演讲稿
First, let's talk about the weather. You know, it's a funny thing about the weather. It's like a mischievous friend who always has a surprise up its sleeve. One minute, it's sunshine and rainbows, and the next, it's a blizzard or a heatwave. I remember one time, I was walking to work, and it was so sunny that I actually wore shorts. By the time I got to the office, it was raining cats and dogs, and I was the only one in shorts. I felt like a complete and utter idiot. But hey, at least I had a good laugh about it!
幽默英语演讲稿范文(共6篇)
篇一：幽默英语演讲稿幽默英语演讲稿love your mother爱你的母亲why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom?你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈.because im a woman, she told him.因为我是女人,她告诉他.i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答his mom just hugged him and said,and you never will, but thats o.k........妈妈拥抱了他说,你永远也不会明白,但没关系...later the little boy asked his father,why does mom seem to cry for no reason?.后来小男孩问他的父亲妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣?all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say...... 所有的女人都会常常没有原因地哭泣,这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的...the little boy grew up and became a man,still wondering why women cry.等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候,他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭.finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily?最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣?god answered......上帝回答:when i made woman,i decided she had to be special.i made her shouldersstrong enough to carrythe weight of the world, yet,当我创造女人的时候,我决定把她造的很特别,我让她的双肩强壮的足以能够承担整个世界,但是,却让她的双臂温柔的足够去安慰他人...i gave her the inner strengthto endure childbirthand the rejectioneven from her own children.我给她内在的力量去忍受生产的剧痛,也让她有勇气承受无数的伤害,甚至这些伤害有时会来自于自己的孩子...i gave her a hardnessthat allows herto keep going and take careof her family and friends,even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without 我给她顽强,让她能够不断地前进,并且照顾自己的家人和朋友,甚至当每个人都放弃的时候,她却能够坚强地在疾病和劳累之时毫无怨言...i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. even when her child has hurt her badly....she has the very special power to make a childs boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenagers anxieties and fears....我给她内心的敏感,让她在任何环境下都深爱着自己的孩子.甚至在他们深深伤害她的时候．．．她用那特别的力量，让年幼孩子的在受伤的时候感到安慰，也能够让年轻的子女消除紧张与恐惧．．．i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults and i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....我给她力量关心她的丈夫，尽管他会犯错．我用男人的肋骨创造了女人，使女人可以保护男人的心脏．．．i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....我给她智慧，让她知道一个好丈夫永远不会伤害他的妻子，但有时候会试炼她坚定的永远跟随自己丈夫的能力与决心．for all of this hard work,i also gave her a tear to shed.it is hers to usewhenever needed andit is her only weakness....when you see her cry,tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.因为这些种种的困难，我也同样赐她流下眼泪，这是当她在需要时可以使用的，这是她唯一的软弱之处．．．当你看到她哭泣的时候，告诉她你有多么地爱她，告诉她她为所有人所做的一切，即使这样她可能还是会哭泣，但你会使她的心里得到安慰．she is special!please send this to women you know, and those with mothers, sisters, and special women in their lives.她是独特的！请把这个信息传递给你认识的女人，有母亲，姐妹和特别的女性在他们生命里的人． but, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thing a woman is.each day is a mountain that must be climbed; with courage each stepgets easier.但是，也把这个信息传递给男人，因此他们会明白女人是多么奇妙的被造物．每一天，生活中都会有必须爬的山，但是勇气会使每一步都更轻松．love your mother always永远爱你的母亲，and keep her smiling并且使她微笑常在篇二：幽默英语演讲稿幽默英语演讲稿love your mother爱你的母亲why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom?你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈.because im a woman, she told him.因为我是女人,她告诉他.i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答his mom just hugged him and said,and you never will, but thats o.k........妈妈拥抱了他说,你永远也不会明白,但没关系...later the little boy asked his father,why does mom seem to cry for no reason?.后来小男孩问他的父亲妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣?all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say...... 所有的女人都会常常没有原因地哭泣,这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的... the little boy grew up and became a man,still wondering why women cry.等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候,他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭.finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily?最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣? god answered......上帝回答:when i made woman,i decided she had to be special.i made her shouldersstrong enough to carrythe weight of the world, yet,当我创造女人的时候,我决定把她造的很特别,我让她的双肩强壮的足以能够承担整个世界,但是,却让她的双臂温柔的足够去安慰他人...i gave her the inner strengthto endure childbirthand the rejectioneven from her own children.我给她内在的力量去忍受生产的剧痛,也让她有勇气承受无数的伤害,甚至这些伤害有时会来自于自己的孩子...i gave her a hardnessthat allows herto keep going and take careof her family and friends,even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without 我给她顽强,让她能够不断地前进,并且照顾自己的家人和朋友,甚至当每个人都放弃的时候,她却能够坚强地在疾病和劳累之时毫无怨言...i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. even when her child has hurt her badly....she has the very special power to make a childs boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenagers anxieties and fears....我给她内心的敏感,让她在任何环境下都深爱着自己的孩子.甚至在他们深深伤害她的时候．．．她用那特别的力量，让年幼孩子的在受伤的时候感到安慰，也能够让年轻的子女消除紧张与恐惧．．．i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults and i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....我给她力量关心她的丈夫，尽管他会犯错．我用男人的肋骨创造了女人，使女人可以保护男人的心脏．．．i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....我给她智慧，让她知道一个好丈夫永远不会伤害他的妻子，但有时候会试炼她坚定的永远跟随自己丈夫的能力与决心．for all of this hard work,i also gave her a tear to shed.it is hers to usewhenever needed andit is her only weakness....when you see her cry,tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good. 因为这些种种的困难，我也同样赐她流下眼泪，这是当她在需要时可以使用的，这是她唯一的软弱之处．．．当你看到她哭泣的时候，告诉她你有多么地爱她，告诉她她为所有人所做的一切，即使这样她可能还是会哭泣，但你会使她的心里得到安慰．she is special!please send this to women you know, and those with mothers, sisters, and special women in their lives.她是独特的！请把这个信息传递给你认识的女人，有母亲，姐妹和特别的女性在他们生命里的人． but, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thing a woman is.each day is a mountain that must be climbed; with courage each step gets easier.但是，也把这个信息传递给男人，因此他们会明白女人是多么奇妙的被造物．每一天，生活中都会有必须爬的山，但是勇气会使每一步都更轻松． love your mother always永远爱你的母亲，and keep her smiling并且使她微笑常在篇三：新初中幽默英语演讲稿新初中幽默英语演讲稿love your mother爱你的母亲why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom?你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈.because im a woman, she told him.因为我是女人,她告诉他.i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答his mom just hugged him and said,and you never will, but thats o.k........妈妈拥抱了他说,你永远也不会明白,但没关系...later the little boy asked his father,why does mom seem to cry for no reason?.后来小男孩问他的父亲妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣?all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say......所有的女人都会常常没有原因地哭泣,这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的...the little boy grew up and became a man,still wondering why women cry.等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候,他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭.finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily?最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣?god answered......上帝回答:when i made woman,i decided she had to be special.i made her shouldersstrong enough to carrythe weight of the world, yet,当我创造女人的时候,我决定把她造的很特别,篇四：英语演讲幽默开场白英语演讲幽默开场白作为一个演讲者，我从观众那只得到过两种抱怨：一种是我讲话声音太大了，他们无法入睡；第二种是我讲得时间太长了，他们无法一直清醒。
大学生搞笑英文演讲稿
Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed professors, fellow students,Good morning/afternoon/evening! It is an absolute pleasure to stand before you today to share with you the tale of my college experience. As the saying goes, "College is the best time of your life," and I must admit, it has indeed been an adventure filled with laughter, tears, and a whole lot of fun. So, let's dive into the world of college humor and see what makes us all chuckle!Introduction: The College LifestyleFirst and foremost, let's talk about the college lifestyle. It's a unique blend of freedom and chaos. We have the freedom to choose our classes, hang out with friends, and even stay up all night studying (or partying). However, this freedom comes with a price – the chaos. We often find ourselves in situations that we would never have imagined, and sometimes, we wish we could turn back time.The Great Debate: Coffee or Caffeine Pills?One of the most common debates among college students is the eternal question: "Coffee or caffeine pills?" Let me tell you, there is no right answer. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. Coffee gives you that warm, comforting feeling, but it also makes you jittery and prone to spills. On the other hand, caffeine pills are discreet, but they can leave you feeling like you've swallowed a tiny rocket.The Art of ProcrastinationAh, procrastination – the art form that we all excel in. Whether it's putting off studying for an exam or leaving the laundry until the last possible moment, we are all guilty of this crime. We have countless excuses, from "I'll do it tomorrow" to "I'm on a deadline!" But let's be honest, sometimes we just want to watch another episode of our favorite TV show.The Great Hall of Food JudgmentsWhen it comes to food, college students have a wide range of opinions. Some of us are foodies, exploring every corner of the campus for thebest meal deals. Others are on a constant quest to find the perfect snack that won't break the bank. And let's not forget the infamous "dorm food" – a dish that can either make or break your taste buds.The Magic of TextbooksTextbooks are a college student's best friend and worst enemy. They are the source of our endless complaints and the reason why we often end up with piles of paper. We spend hours flipping through them, searching for the one page that we need, only to realize that we've alreadyhighlighted it. And let's not forget the joy of carrying around a backpack filled with textbooks – it's like a mini gym workout!The Life of a FreshmanBeing a freshman is like being a tourist in a new city. You're excited, nervous, and a little bit lost. You attend countless orientation sessions, meet new people, and try to find your place in this new world. One of the highlights of freshman year is the infamous "study group."It's where you realize that your study habits are not as effective as you thought, and you end up spending more time chatting than actually studying.The Power of All-NightersAll-nighters are a rite of passage in college. They are the times when we pull an all-nighter to finish a paper or prepare for an exam. It's during these moments that we discover our true potential, or at least, our ability to function on minimal sleep. We joke about it, but let's be honest, we wouldn't have it any other way.The Unwritten Rules of FriendshipIn college, friendships are formed in the most unusual ways. Whetherit's sharing a late-night snack, studying together, or surviving a group project, we create bonds that can last a lifetime. There are unwritten rules of friendship in college: "Never borrow money," "Always have a backup plan," and "You're only as funny as your worst joke."Conclusion: The Laughter of College LifeIn conclusion, the life of a college student is filled with laughter, tears, and countless unforgettable moments. We laugh at our own jokes, our friends' mistakes, and the absurdity of college life. It's a time when we learn to appreciate the little things, embrace the chaos, and cherish the friendships that will last a lifetime.So, let's raise our coffee cups (or caffeine pills) to the hilarious life of a college student! Here's to the laughter, the late nights, and the memories that will make us smile for years to come.Thank you for listening, and may your college years be filled with as much fun and laughter as mine have been.[Applause]。
英文三分钟搞笑演讲
英文三分钟搞笑演讲英语演讲，也可以很风趣很幽默的，想知道怎么写好英文的搞笑演讲稿吗?下面是店铺为你整理的几篇英文三分钟搞笑演讲，希望能帮到你哟。
英文三分钟搞笑演讲篇一A helping handA man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put his head out the window to check. As he did so a glass eye fell into his hand.He looked up to see where it came from in time to see a young woman looking down."Is this yours?" he asked.She said, "Yes, could you bring it up?" and the man agreed.On arrival she was profuse in her thanks and offered the man a drink. As she was very attractive he agreed. Shortly afterwards she said, "I'm about to have dinner. There's plenty. Would you like to join me?"He readily accepted her offer and both enjoyed a lovely meal. As the evening was drawing to a close the lady said, "I've had a marvelous evening. Would you like to stay the night?"The man hesitated then said, "Do you act like this with every man you meet?""No," she replied, "Only those who catch my eye."英文三分钟搞笑演讲篇二Good morning teachers and fellow students. Today we would like to introduce a few favorite books to you.My favorite book is (Italian: Cuore). This is a diary written by an Italian boy Enrico. The diary is about his life and study. It included various touching stories that happened around Enrico,the mottos taught by his parents, as well as the wonderful ten "monthly" stories told by his teacher during the class. Every word in the chapter describes the word "love". From patriotism to friendship, and to the love between parents and child -- really touching.This novel taught me how to love, and how to learn from love.I really like this book very much. How about you? What is your favorite book?My favorite book is . Have you read it before?Oh, I haven t read this book before. What is it about?Well, it is a story of a rich girl who maintained her noble character after the bankruptcy of her father. The story is happy ending.Can you tell us why you love this book so much?Sure. It is because the story taught us to be brave and to face the challenges and difficulties with courage. I am deeply impressed by the strength and perseverance of the little princess in the story. I have decided to learn from her from now on.Oh I see, the story sounds very good. I cannot wait to read this book as well.英文三分钟搞笑演讲篇三Matt and his wife lived in the country. Matt was very stingy and hated spending money. One day a fair came to the nearby town."Let’s go to the fair, Matt," his wife said. "We haven’t been anywhere for a long time."Matt thought about this for a while. He knew he would have to spend money at the fair. At last he said, "All right, but I’m not going to spend much money. We’ll look at things, but we won’t buy anything. "They went to the fair and looked at all the things to buy. There were many things Matt’s wife wanted to buy, but he would not let her spend any money.Then, in a nearby field, they saw a small airplane."Fun flights!" the notice said, " $$ 10 for 10 minutes.Matt had never been in an airplane and he wanted to go on a fun flight. However, he didn’t want to have to pay for his wife, as well."I’ve only got $$ 10, " he told the pilot. "Can my wife come with me for free?" The pilot wasn’t selling many tickets, so he said, "I’ll make a bargain with you. If your wife doesn’t scream or shout, she can have a free flight."Matt agreed, and got into the small airplane with his wife.The pilot took off and made his airplane do all kinds of things. At one moment it was flying upside down.When the plane landed, the pilot said, "0. K. your wife didn’t make a sound. She can have her ride free.""Thank you," Matt said. "It wasn’t easy for her, you know, especially when she fell out."。
幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿3分钟
幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿3分钟幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿3分钟范文演讲技能已经变成一种基本技能，英语跟演讲结合加上幽默简直完美。
下面是店铺为你整理的幽默的`英语演讲稿内容，欢迎参考阅读。
幽默的英语演讲稿篇一The romantic love story——The film describes a love story between a harlot and a rich man. It is a fairy story about Cinderella of modern version. Being the he-ro-in-e in a fairy tale seems to be the dream of every girl since very young. All girls are looking forward to romantic love stories descending on them. The more impossible the love is going to happen, the happier the girl to be, which is definitely decided by the nature of girls. The most impressed things came to me in the film were the hero’s (Richard Gere) character. He was charming, a real confident man, so perfect, so charmi ng, however, that didn’t make you think he was conceited or he was pretend to be attractive. As a matter of fact, he is an indeed gentleman, with a natural gentle manner. His charm actually comes from his inner refinement. His personality is a great magnet to me.In the meanwhile, the difference between a rude woman and elegant women are obviously high lightened in this film, which I has paid attention to for a long time. 幽默的英语演讲稿篇二We are going to celebrate the 60th anniversary of our motheland.Being a student in China,I feel very happy and proud.With the teachers' and parents' help ,we make great progress every day.We are growing up together with our motherland.With our knowledge and ability, I am sure we will do great contribution to the country.Thank to the motherland,we are going to be stronger and stronger.The future for us must bebright and hopeful.Let's try hard for ourselves,and for our motherland as well.I hope a kid, hope full eyes jade-green grass, free of mind and happy of heart in the heart, also from had a regrets.Regardless nature of the boon grant still mankind of creation, nature give we abundant of imagination and infinite pure and endless Xia think, although they be small but solidify one heart, they mutually hold to hug to each other, under the nourish of the earth, full exertive solidify one coagulate of heart dint, also give nature one Wen Run4 of green space.幽默的英语演讲稿篇三Hello, everyone, I’m Liu Dongdong. I’m a student. There are three people in my family—my father, mother and I.My father is 40 years old. He is a worker. I think he is a good worker. Because he works very hard. He gets up very early every day and he works for more than 10 hours a day. So he is always busy, he looks very tired when he gets 小学home. He likes reading newspapers. He usually reads it after supper. So he gets lots of news.My mother is 38 years old. She is a worker too. She works in a very small factory. She is not tall and she has two big eyes. She loves me and she is good for me. She always buys some books for me. She wants me to be a top student. She also cares for my diet and life.I’ m 15 years old. I wear glasses. I like reading. I always read books after school. I like singing, too. My favorite singer is Jay Chou. His music is very nice. What do you think of him? I also like making friends. If you want to meet me, please write to me.Oh, my parents love me and I love them, too. My family is a happy family.。
幽默的英语演讲稿3分钟5篇
幽默的英语演讲稿3分钟5篇英语演讲稿幽默主题三分钟1Very happy and we feel we are one together - young teachers heroic feelings， My name is Ling， graduation Yidu teacher.I was crying my choice too， have work for me sad too，because I embarked on a career like I did not do a very poor teacher， I cry many times my choice， they can In countless grief I have been comforted， when I saw both of that is full of naive，but eager to swim in the ocean of knowledge a child， my sinking， floating calm the mind， and slowly I also learn from practice feel the teachers pride，he was like a Spring Silkworms， like the dedication of their own candles no regrets，I have seen it countless teachers no regrets。
and with their youth and lives to defend the sanctity of the teaching profession， but also what they use their own actions， with traces of life， inspired by those of us who come after，I have reluctantly enamel reluctantly，by the reluctance to wholeheartedly love this job，because I have seen that life will go beyond the utilitarian， although meals for life， But the living is not for eating， living in the possession of many small minded，short-term birth in eternity， while the teachers are such a career.I know that a teacher tired， bitter， but to their own ideal， I still would like to pursue， to the surging waves of fighting， to sinister mountain climbing， there may be storms，a storm， the road may be bumpy， but I still would use laughter，with songs to fill ups and downs， I will meet with the merry laughter of the rising sun， I will be flying the heart to face my work and life.Yes ah!英语演讲稿幽默主题三分钟2How to Be PopularMost people would like to be popular with others, but not everyone can achieve this goal. What is the secret to popularity? In fact, it is very simple. The first step is to improve our appearance. We should always make sure that we stay in good shape and dress well. When we are healthy and well-groomed, we will not only look better but also feel better. In addition, we should smile and appear friendly. After all, our facial e_pression is an important part of our appearance. If we can do this, people will be attracted to our good looks and impressed by our confidence.Another important step is developing more consideration for others. We should always put others first and place their interests before our own. Its also important to be good listeners; in this way people will feel comfortable enough to confide in us. However, no matter what we do, we must not gossip. Above all, we must remember to be ourselves, not phonies. Only by being sincere and respectful of others can we earn their respect. If we can do all of the above, I am sure popularity will come our way.英语演讲稿幽默主题三分钟3Good morning/evening/afternoon, ladies and gentlemen : Today, my speech is about talents,in my opionion, talents are indispensable in nowadays society. as is known to all that the fight among countries is actually the fight among talents. First, id like to define the wordtalent in my idea, a talent is one person who is good at or e_pertised in some or multiple areas. nowadays, as the world developing goes on , if one country want to rank top or do a good job in the world, the country must have many talents.for e_ample, china, the biggest developing country in the world, in the past 100 years, is always invaded by other countries, why ,the reason is that china at that time had not so many talents. if they had anti-intrusionleader talents in the war, needless to say,they would have beat those big powers.if they had talents in weapons manufacturing, nodody dares to provoke us.however, nowadays, its a totally different situation, china has become powerfulin all over the world, why ? because there are many talents serving the country, the civilians become more and more literated.more and more people go to university,more and more people come to receive further education. so what is that in return,talents in army protect our country from invasion, talents in commerce help make our economy keep in improving, talents in aerospace make the world see chinese manned spacecraft flying. talents in sports make china rank the first in the olympic games……To sum up, talents will play a more and more impoetant role in the world, if one country intends to flourish, he must foster talents as many as they can ,thats all,thank you.英语演讲稿幽默主题三分钟4Good afternoon,ladies and gentlemen!I’m very honored to stand here and give you a short speech! To begin with ,I want to ask a question .Does everybody dream a good dream last night? Actually ,today I want to talk about dream with you. Of course, What I want to talk is not a dream you have last night,but a dream—— about life.Everyone has dreams about life, different dreams at different life stage,and we need dreams to support us. Dreams are like the stars we never reach in the sky,but like most mariners,we can chart our course by them. With the dream,we have a direction,with a direction, we were no longer confused.With the dream, there is hope,With hope, we have the strength to fight.I have a dream: To be a doctor.，because doctor may relieve the pain of patients. May let the human change the health. At the same time, I believed that, those who help others may be able to obtain joyfully. Therefore, I hoped in the near future ,I might be a doctor.But I know，life is tough,and there are always ups and downs, maybe we fail in the way to our aims,and we may feel depressed ,whenever at this time, the dream in our heart can always comfort us, encourage us ,and support us to move ahead . Young!Fortunately, I am young now. Just due to it, I know that nothing is impossible.I firmly believe that nothing can stand in my way. If I cant realize my dream,it result from that I havent work harder enough and I wont find other e_cuses. If no people believe you, you can make it to prove that you are right. If you think the god haventblessed you and there is no truth here, you can become the god and create the truth. My breath swallows the sky and make the yellow river overflow, my sword is famous in Kyushu and it can collapse the five sacred mountains. At some time in the past I also had am bitious words and I had some achievements. Each achievement results from my hard work. I always believe that If you want to have more achievements than others, you must work harder. In some e_tent, the dream is the hope. If you can insist on doing something, the victory will come.Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. Hold fast to dreams, for when dreams go, life is a barren field frozen with snow. So my dear friends, think of your old and maybe dead dreams. Whatever it is, pick it up and make it alive from today. Lets--- move ----out!Thank you for your listening!英语演讲稿幽默主题三分钟5change ourselvesgood evening, honorable judges, ladies and gentlemen.it’s my greatpleasure to stand here to present my speech —change the world, change ourselves.it’s noticable that western holidays are becomingincreasingly popular day by day, while chinese traditional festivals are being somewhat neglected. not long before about 10 doctors in beijing university and qinghua unversity announced that we should reject the invasion of western holidays ,because they regard western holidays as an challenge against our traditional festivals and culture.frankly speaking, i don’t quite agree with them.indeed, we should never neglect or even discard our traditonal festivals as china boasts a brilliant history and splendid traditions. (e_amples).but why can’t we absorb the meaningful western holidays and culture.there are obvious reasons why some western holidays are so popular in china. on the one hand, some of the western holidays which we chinese don’t have are reasonable and meaningful, such as father’s day and april fool’s day etc. on the other hand,the prevalence of globalization enables western culture to prevail in china. overwhelmed by such a trend,chinese unconsiciously get involved in western holidays and culture.with the further development of the whole world, the cultural communication between different countries and nations becomes faster and more and more important. we are indeed from different nations, but we are the citizens of the same world,so the outstanding culture of different nations is the commom wealth of everyone on the earth.the only way for us to protect our traditional culture is to reject the foreign culture? the answer is definitely no. what we ought to do is to spare no effort to educate chinese to get to know and treasure our splendid traditions instead of rejecting foreign culture. only by educating can we set our confidence and belief towards our culture. only by educating can we preserve and promote the wealth that our ancesters left for us.at last i’d like to share a famouse saying of gandhi with all of you ,that is:if you want to change the world, then you must change yourself first.”。
英语演讲稿笑话(精选多篇)
英语演讲稿笑话(精选多篇)第一篇：英语笑话two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. he doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. the other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. he gasps, "my friend is dead! what can i do?". the operator says "calm down. i can help. first, let's make sure he's dead." there is a silence, then a shot is heard. back on the phone, the guy says "ok, now what?"简单翻译:两个猎人在森林里打猎,突然甲倒下了.并且看上去不再呼吸了,眼睛也变得呆滞.乙赶紧拿起电话打给救护中心,上气不接下气的说:"我的朋友死了,怎么办?."服务人员说:"淡定,我有办法.首先,我们嘚确保他是死了." 安静了一会儿,电话里响起了一阵枪声,电话那头乙说道:"好了,那接下来怎么办."下面是被评选世界第二搞笑的笑话：sherlock holmes and dr watson were going camping. they pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. sometime in the middle of the night holmes woke watson up and s aid: “watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”watson replied: “i see millions and millions of stars.”holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”watson replied: “well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. and if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”and holmes said: “watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”简单翻译:甲乙一起去野营.他俩在星光下搭好帐篷然后睡去. 半夜的某时,甲叫醒乙:"抬头看看那些星星,然后告诉我你发现了什么?"乙:"我看见好多好多的星星."甲:"如此你能推断出什么结论?"乙回答道:"嗯...假如天上有无数的恒星,而且其中一些有自己的行星,那么很有可能就会有像地球一样的星球存在.假如有像地球一样的星球存在,那里还可能存在生物."甲无语:"你个sb.这说明有人偷了我们的帐篷."第二篇：英语笑话英语笑话笑话一：a woman gets on a bus with her baby. the bus driver says: "that's the ugliest baby that i've ever seen. ugh!" the woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. she says to a man next to her: "the driver just insulted me!" the man says: "you go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, i'll hold your monkey for you."(某女士带着宝宝坐公交车。
幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿范文（通用6篇）
幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿范文（通用6篇）演讲稿是一种实用性比较强的文稿，是为演讲准备的书面材料。
在现在的社会生活中，演讲稿对我们的作用越来越大，那么你有了解过演讲稿吗？以下是小编收集整理的幽默搞笑的.英语演讲稿范文（通用6篇），希望能够帮助到大家。
幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿1Dear teachers and schoolmates:I’m very happy to give a lecture in English here today. The title of speech is I Love English. As everyone knows,English is very important today.It has been used everywhere in the world.It has become the most common language on Internet and for international trade. If we can speak English well,we will have more chance to succeed.Because more and more people have taken notice of it,the number of the people who go to learn English has increased at a high speed. But for myself,I learn English not only because of its importance and its usefulness,but also because of my love for it.When I learn English, I can feel a different way of thinking which gives me more room to touch the world.When I read English novels,I can feel the pleasure from the book which is different from reading the translation.When I speak English, I can feel the confident from my words.When I write English,I can see the beauty which is not the same as our Chinese… I love English,it gives me a colorful dream.I hope I can travel around the world one day. With my good English, I can make friends with many people from different contries.I can see many places of great intrests.I dream that I can go to London,because it is the birth place of English. I also want to use my good English to introduce our great places to the English spoken people,I hopethat they can love our country like us.I know, Rome was not built in a day. I believe that after continuous hard study, one day I can speak English very well. If you want to be loved, you should learn to love and be lovable. So I believe as I love English everyday , it will love me too. I am sure that I will realize my dream one day! Thank you!幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿2Good morning/afternoon!First thing first, I gotta say,wow,its funny thing to be given a chance like that.Trurh be told,I really got a little bit nervous before I stand right here ,so called stage fright.If you look specifically on me .You may find my hands shaking,pretty assembles the guy who suffered from Pakinsons disease,and legs wobbling ,like I caught so-called ball leg. Okay,lets stop going around the bush and get back to my topic today.I really like to talk a funny story I have just heard.A lady called Lucy emigrated to United States several years ago.Her spoken English is not that fluent .And one day,she is just sitting on the couch with his U.S friends Mandy watching Sit-Com.A noise of bump had the attention of Mandy,which led her to go out of the house trying to figure out what had happened.Can you imagine that Mandy go straight out with merely a sweater.So Lucy shouted at her,"Lucy ,turn your clothes on." What suprised her most,beyond her wildest imagination, is that almost all the male in this country took their head out of the window.Admittedly,Lucy made a mistake here .The word spitted means Mandy is totally naked to the reason that male looked out of the window.The right sentence shall be,"put your clothing on."The story inspires you to take a careful look on the vast difference between eastern and western culture.Thats full of it,thank you for your time!幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿3Good evening ,Ladies and Gentlemen:Thank you very much for choosing to come in such a cold night.Today my topic is about choice and process.A research shows that a man has to make 73 choices one day.With so many choices one day, people easily get so confused and afraid of making wrong choice that they hesitate and finally miss the true part of life. In my opinion, the following part is of much more importance than the choice. There is no absolute right or wrong choice but wonderful or boring life, which the process makes the difference.Life is a box of chocolate,you never know what you will get. Forrest Gump made no decision by and for himself but he accomplished great success with his strong will in the process. The process is not the road itself but the attitudes and feelings ,the caution, courage and persistance we have as we encounter new experience and unexpected obstacles. Take myself as an example, I changed my major when I became a postgraduate. After the choice,days have been harsh for me.I cannot understand the new lessons at all. For they are closely related to mathmatics which I learned nothing about before. However wuth the belief that this is the great chance for me to experience new ideas and challenge myself,I persisted. I asked for help from every channel and reorgonized my life. Gradually I could understand some parts and even found maths interesting.Moreover, I learned to act instead of complaining. In retrospect,the choice left no trace in my mind but the happiness and bitterness of the past four months becomes an unforgetable experience in my life.No matter what the choice is, enjoy the process. In the process, your potential will be inspired and new discoveries,improvement and progress will come to you. These are the most beautiful sceneries and only on the way can you see it.These make your life colorful.There is no need and I donnot want to judge whether it right or wrong for me to be here,but I congratulate to myself for I gain and enjoy this fantastic experience. So my dear friends,never worry about your choice and enjoy the process. I am sure you will get something new and intersting tonight after you chose to come here.Thank you!幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿4Mary was an English girl, but she lived in Rome. She was six years old. Last year her mother said to her, “You’re six years old now, Mary, and you’re going to begin going to a school here. You’re going to like it very much, because it’s a nice school.”“Is it an English school” Mary asked.” Yes, it is,” her mother said. Mary went to the school, and enjoyed her lessons. Her mother always took her to school in the morning and brought her home in the afternoon. Last Monday her mother went to the school at 4 o’clock, and Mary ran out of her class. “We’ve got a new girl in our class today, Mummy,” she said. “She’s six years old too, and she’s very nice, but she isn’t English. She’s German.” “Does she speak English” Mary’s mother asked.” No, but she laughs in English,” Mary said happily.幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿5Ladies and Gentlemen , Good afternoon! I68m very glad tostand here and give you a short speech. today my topic is “youth”. I hope you will like it , and found the importance in your youth so that more cherish it.First I want to ask you some questions: 1、Do you know what is youth? 2、 How do you master your youth?YouthYouth is not a time of life, it is a state of mind it is not rosy cheeks , red lips and supple knees, it is a matter of the emotions : it is the freshness it is the freshness of the deep springs of life .Youth means a temperamental predominance of courage over timidity of the appetite , for adventure over the love of ease. This often exists in a man of 60 more than a boy of 20 . Nobody grows old merely by a number of years . We grow old by deserting our ideals.Years wrinkle the skin , but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul . Worry , fear , self –distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit back to dust .Whether 60 of 16 , there is in every human being 67s heart the lure of wonders, the unfailing childlike appetite of what68s next and the joy of the game of living . In the center of your heart and my heart there68s a wireless station : so long as it receives messages of beauty , hope ,cheer, courage and power from men and from the infinite, so long as you are young .When the aerials are down , and your spirit is covered with snows of cynicism and the ice of pessimism, then you are grown old ,even at 20 , but as long as your aerials are up ,to catch waves of optimism , there is hope you may die young at 80.That68s all ! Thank you!幽默搞笑的英语演讲稿6Earn english not only because of its importance and itsusefulness,but also because of my love for it.when i learn english, i can feel a different way of thinking which gives me more room to touch the world.when i read english novels,i can feel the pleasure from the book which is different from reading the translation.when i speak english, i can feel the confident from my words.when i write english,i can see the beauty which is not the same as our chinese...I love english,it gives me a colorful dream.i hope i can travel around the world one day. with my good english, i can make friends with many people from different contries.i can see many places of great intrests.i dream that i can go to london,because it is the birth place of english.I also want to use my good english to introduce our great places to the english spoken people,i hope that they can love our country like us.I know, rome was not built in a day. i believe that after continuous hard study, one day i can speak english very well. if you want to be loved, you should learn to love and be lovable. so i believe as i love english everyday , it will love me too.I am sure that i will realize my dream one day!Thank you!。
幽默演讲稿2分钟英语作文
幽默演讲稿2分钟英语作文Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen,。
Today, I am honored to stand here and share some humorous moments with all of you. Humor is an essential part of our lives, and it has the power to bring people together, lighten the mood, and even relieve stress. Therefore, I would like to present to you a few humorous anecdotes and jokes that will hopefully bring a smile to your faces.Firstly, let me start with a classic joke about a man who goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes." The doctor replies, "Have you seen an ophthalmologist?" The man responds, "No, just spots."This joke is a great example of how humor can be simple yet effective. It plays on the double meaning of the word "spots" and brings a lighthearted touch to a common situation.Next, I would like to share a funny story about a little boy who was asked by his teacher to spell the word "farm." The boy confidently spells, "F-A-R-M." The teacher then asks him to use the word in a sentence. The boy thinks for a moment and says, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him farm."This story illustrates how humor can arise from innocent misunderstandings and the unexpected responses of children. It reminds us to appreciate the simple and humorous moments in life.Finally, I want to leave you with a humorous quote from the famous comedian, George Carlin. He once said, "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." This quote may seem a bit cynical, but it serves as a reminder not to take ourselves too seriously and to find humor in the quirks and absurdities of human nature.In conclusion, humor is a powerful tool that can bring joy, laughter, and a sense of connection to our lives. Whether it's through jokes, stories, or witty observations, humorhas the ability to uplift our spirits and bring us closer together. I hope that these humorous moments have brought a smile to your faces and brightened your day. Thank you for listening, and may laughter always be a part of your lives.。
搞笑英语演讲稿大全
搞笑英语演讲稿大全演讲稿是在较为隆重的仪式上和某些公众场合发表讲话的文稿。
它是进行演讲的依据，也是对演讲内容和形式的规范和提示。
下面是小编整理的搞笑英语演讲稿，欢迎大家阅读分享借鉴，希望大家能够喜欢。
搞笑英语演讲稿1There is a wonderful word which expresses the most original motions and desires among human-beings. With solving any kind of imperfections, our world has moved ahead. This is the word “innovation” that we cannot afford to lose.We chicaned every detail of the innovation. Thousands years before, we created fire when we took a stone to knock another one. Since Han Dynasty, four great inventions had been created and it is one of the greatest signs that China become to the ancient civilized country. And nowadays, thousands of software, products, architectures and public facilities have upgraded more than that about 100 years ago. So how did these happen? What will you do if you are not satisfied with your tools anymore? What will you do if old mode cannot afford to develop in a company? There is no doubt that we should innovate no matter where we are and what we do. Not because of the design itself, but actually for its intended purpose.If there was no Apple, everyone could not imagine how to contact others easily and enjoy a better Internet surfing.If there was no Microsoft, perhaps we still worked in a dim office and duplicate some troublesome documents. If there was no Newton, and no theory of gravity, maybe I will win the Nobel Prize like Newton rather than just standing here. I have heard that three apple changed the world. The first one seduced Eve. Thesecond one awakened Newton. The third one was in the hands of Steve Jobs. We sort of think the innovation of the world began with apple. I imagine lots of people want to become another Newton or Jobs right now with just one hand to change the world, right? Have the innovation to follow your heart. It somehow already reflects what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.Via questioning, we can start to innovate. Via innovating, we can start to create better lives. No innovation, no improvement. No improvement, no success. And no success, no civilization. Now, our time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life! Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice! Don't let yourself down! It is the innovation that we cannot afford to lose!搞笑英语演讲稿2Dear teachers, dear students:hello everyone!The topic of my speech is "the hardness of life"!The vast desert, a tree stand, the show is a monument to the image.Towering mountains, thousands of tree stand up, as is a magnificent the Great Wall.The long river, all the trees stood up into a dragon of glory.We are a symbol of too much, and too much. But I believe that my image is not "the gentlest hands, skin, such as Diorskin" Lin Daiyu, nor is the modern "unkempt and shabby", "Su Qier". We are a symbol of hope and vitality. So we show in front of others should be inserted without pleats, face without scale, modest and polite gestures exudes a stream of heroic spirit, the image of the vigor and vitality of the modern new youth, a intothe embodiment of the spirit of nature.Someone once said, life is a kind of hardness, integrity and dignity of life is propped up the hardness of bone. "Better life" and "the Kui back in the day, and not ashamed on the ground", which is always the traditional virtue of the China. Li Bai's "the eyebrow nengcui Zheyaoshan powerful thing, so that I may not be happy Yan" this awe inspiring atmosphere of the verse and whether it will make those no self-esteem people to shame? Loss of self-esteem is a worthless person, and we as the vanguard of the times, if drown in the darkness forever, or to do a dauntless hero, a flower in the wind and rain sonorous rose. The answer is self-evident.Desert desolate also has the monument stands, Castle Peak again proud, but also have the great wall around, the river again quiet, also there is a dragon in the recumbent. But the time can be changed, our image, our glory remains the same. Because we pride, because we are confident, because we have a fresh life. And because of this, it is a vast desert riparian long, Qingshan was evergreen, the hardness of life is forever.搞笑英语演讲稿3Good morning everybody, I’m very glad to stand here and give you a short speech. We all know that Bingxin has a famous saying “we always admire the beauty of flowers but its sprout was watered by tears of struggle and rained by blood of sacrifice”. So for the majority, behind their success, are filled of sweat and tears. Eagle flying in the vast firmament, must be experienced the pain of countless times fall under the cliff, then hammered out a pair of volley wings. A shinning of pearls, inevitably suffered countless body friction and numerous waves’ shock. In this view, a real successful people, and he mustexperienced numerous times to stand up again and agin after failed, because without sweat and tears on the life road ,no one can casually get the beautiful flowers. Alfter a heavy fall Shi Tiesheng lost his legs, it must be a heavy blow for anyone. But he didn't lose faith in life, but use his brain and hands to show the infinite love of life;Beethoven was blind and deaf, but he still had written the "Hero""Destiny"nd so on a large number of music works, in his unfortunately life, he doggedly gripped the "fate of the throat. They all had a fall, but they are strong enough to stand up, fight against fate and misfortune, finally they succeed. So for each of us, wrestling is not terrible, lose confidence and courage in life is the most terribe thing. In my opionion, the sweat and tears during the life’ journey are very important for us, they hone our will, and enrich our experience. As the saying goes, how can you see the rainbow without a rainy day, while you don't work hard and not struggle, how can you gain the successful flowers. All in all, the sweat and tears on the struggling road is inevitable, don’t look for shortcuts anymore, steadfast walk every step, we will succeed in the end. So belief yourself, nothing is impossile, just do it. Thank you for taking your time to listen to my speech, I hope in the near future we all can be successful.搞笑英语演讲稿4What we cannot afford to lose?We cannot lose innovation?There is a wonderful word which expresses the most original motions and desires among human-beings. With solving any kind of imperfections, our world has moved ahead. This is the word “innovation” that we cannot afford to lose.We chicaned every detail of the innovation. Thousands yearsbefore, we created fire when we took a stone to knock another one. Since Han Dynasty, four great inventions had been created and it is one of the greatest signs that China become to the ancient civilized country. And nowadays, thousands of software, products, architectures and public facilities have upgraded more than that about 100 years ago. So how did these happen? What will you do if you are not satisfied with your tools anymore? What will you do if old mode cannot afford to develop in a company? There is no doubt that we should innovate no matter where we are and what we do. Not because of the design itself, but actually for its intended purpose.If there was no Apple, everyone could not imagine how to contact others easily and enjoy a better Internet surfing.If there was no Microsoft, perhaps we still worked in a dim office and duplicate some troublesome documents. If there was no Newton, and no theory of gravity, maybe I will win the Nobel Prize like Newton rather than just standing here. I have heard that three apple changed the world. The first one seduced Eve. The second one awakened Newton. The third one was in the hands of Steve Jobs. We sort of think the innovation of the world began with apple. I imagine lots of people want to become another Newton or Jobs right now with just one hand to change the world, right? Have the innovation to follow your heart. It somehow already reflects what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.Via questioning, we can start to innovate. Via innovating, we can start to create better lives. No innovation, no improvement. No improvement, no success. And no success, no civilization. Now, our time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life! Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your owninner voice! Don't let yourself down! It is the innovation that we cannot afford to lose!搞笑英语演讲稿5Often listen to other people singing, and she is often the first hummed jiang yuheng look back again, but the "once in the faint repeatedly to pursue, just know plain takes is the most true" this sentence would not agree. Prince "lonely" sings too detached - repeatedly to pursue all his life, just the plain is true conclusions.Plain is the most true, at the end of the day is not unwilling to mediocrity, since GanWuWei? Once upon a time, we have these in with the secondary color dream university students who are Shouting: plain is the most true. And some people think that as long as "otherwise, serene life" can be free to live, have to zhuang zi's "inaction" thoughts to carry on the general trend. What makes us rich campus life fade color? What makes us real magma solidification, not blood from heart? Because we don't have entered the dream of the ivory tower? Because we did not get out of the confused myself strip? Or because our hearts are really not young, is to see everything in the flat? No! All is not! Dominate the world is you, give up the world is still you.The best life, not life expectancy of the people, but most can feel the life of the people. Besides you don't have entered the ideal university, in addition to you didn't hold an almost successful love, in addition to the vanity in the air, in your heart you feel how much right to life? Life on earth gave you how many real burden on uneven? No! Because only in contemporary China, in our country where illiteracy and semiliterate hundreds of millions of, college students had been high social expectation, also looking forward to the society too much, just because we cannot properly estimate oneself, also can't correctly understandsociety. The flat state of mind, that is still a bad excuse. Then, you ever also want to do something, but don't know where to start, follow, in front of the temptation away from the natural state, is the era of mud and sand flow together tide carrying floating around. When you are tired to walk three hundred and sixty miles, you only to find that behind in addition to the flat, what also have no.Here some people would say: I'm really very ordinary, unskilled and won't sing can't jump, is not to poetry painting, destined to this four years so insipid. In the world but only one of Beethoven's genius, but also is only a child prodigy Mozart, more and more people is through the attempt, through perseverance is as brilliant. Perseverance can sometimes equal genius in its results. There is an old saying, can surmount the pyramids of creatures have only two: the eagle and the snail. Although we can't soar like an eagle, everyone but we can at least be marching silently like a snail with his endurance.Don't be saddened leaves, as the spring rain tears; Don't careless swing back the sun of summer, make till winter snow to decorate their veil; Years may wrinkle the skin, and lose enthusiasm wrinkle the soul.With new confidence, we try to take out our youth enthusiasm, graduated from university four years, looking back, we don't have flat, regret the youth. Let our youth float in the sky.。
三分钟幽默搞笑英语演讲稿范文
三分钟幽默搞笑英语演讲稿范文在中国英语作为一门外语拥有最多的外语学习者，英语演讲已成为我们生活中必不可少的一部分,并且能有效地帮助我们发展语言应用及交际能力。
下面是店铺为你整理的几篇三分钟搞笑英语演讲稿范文，希望能帮到你哟。
三分钟搞笑英语演讲稿范文篇一once upon a time, a weenie ant was walking on his way. as he was walking, suddenly he felt the ground shaking terribly. he looked around with his paranoid eyes and saw an elephant walking right behind him. quickly, the little ant covered himself with dirt, but one leg was unfortunately left out. a sparrow saw everything, so she flew down with the purpose of teasing the ant: “hey, chicken! watch out your leg, it’s out!” the ant felt embarrassed at first but then calmly responded: “ shi…i am going to trip that elephant.”right now, i’m standing on this glamorous stage. but everything here reminds me of is a not so fun memory. around this time last year i was in nanjing competing in another speech contest. that was the first time for me to be in such a large event. of course the pressure i was under was immense too. after a sleepless and stressful night, i went onto that stage without the feeling in my legs. that speech turned out to be horrible. i don’t remember how i get down from there, but i do remember afterwards i just wanted to find a hole to hide in just like the ant in the story. back at my school, it took a long time for me to recover. thanks to all the help i got from my special friends. my confidence was restored. after rounds of giving speeches and answering tough questions, i am here today. from all tha t i’ve been through i’ve learned that a good future is based on aforgotten past, if i want my life to go on well i have to let go of my past failure. so today, with out fear, i am tripping my elephant again.三分钟搞笑英语演讲稿范文篇二good morning,dear teacher and my friends.it’s a very intresting topic today.i think my dad was a hero for me when i was a young child. we'd go fishing, walks, and other fun things for a kid.every child has a good and great father, and so do i. my dad played a very important role in my daily life`````exactly speaking, in my past 16 years.my father always stands in the center of my life， from past till now and possibly in the future.my family was rather poor when i was in my childhood. we didn't have our own house and had to live in a shabby， small room rented from my father's factory. the room was so small that there was little space for people to walk. i didn't have my own bed and had to sleep with my parents. this is terrible both for my parents and me.but father made this all different!he works very hard on his own business, now we have our own 2 housese,surly,i have my own room.and he take our family so much happiness, richer and richer.when i was little, i did everything with my dad. you could always find me sitting on his knee or walking and doing everything with him. every night he would read me a bed time story and make the voices of each character.i learnt a lot from my daddy. i learnt to never take things to seriously and to always smile.like many other fathers, my dad and i also has generationgap. he is not good at or even can’t work the computer. so when i sitting at the computer desk,he will say something like ‘you should pay more attention to your study’, ‘don’t waste time on the computer games’ , ‘it will be bad for your eyes’ and so on. how can i- a computer fan – reduce time on computer? so i continue studying and playing on ityears pasted, my father is over 45 now. it is time for me to look after him and i am sure i will do and we will live an even better life. and i will say,i really love you dad,cause you are the hero in my mind.thank you so much!三分钟搞笑英语演讲稿范文篇三the footsteps of the XX world expo is getting closer and closer to us, civilized and harmonious call is still ringing in my ears. shanghai, china obtained the right to host the world expo XX, expo XX shanghai china will be a world event, the development of shanghai's new round of golden opportunity, as it is an important embodiment of our national spirit.world expo is a great influence and a long history of international activities, is the largest gathering of human beings. people from around the world gathered in one place display their products and skills, boast of their hometown and motherland. expo set the culmination of human civilization, which has a unique appeal, make you feel surging.world expo is a platform, we are the masters. she put up a platform for us to let the world know us; she built a bridge for us, so we better communicate with the world. this platform may let us display self wantonly. we are the masters here, we have to landlord, let guest experience enthusiasm and happiness.everyone to contribute for the expo, we are no exception, asa living piece of fertile land in pudong's teachers, we are proud and pride. in the vision of a better tomorrow, we have to do for the world expo will own a wonderful ability, we have through our hands, warm heart and sincerity to practical action to achieve the commitment of shanghai to the world. we should educate the many students: do not throw garbage anywhere, no spitting, no jaywalking ... ..., hello, thank you frequently mention, let the material on this city with the new york comparable to the spiritual civilization. educate our students to exciting XX, willing to shanghai's future by copies of power, if only planted a small tree, participants in the shanghai world expo foreign guests feel: this is a forest city, pollution-free city, ancient and civilized city. better city, better life! until the time of the XX expo, then, we want to become a glorious volunteers, to changing our foreign friends in shanghai and china's long history, about our education for the world expo will contribute their efforts.we expect the majority of teachers will be great enthusiasm for the world expo into practical action to meet the world expo, the expo will be a total growth, and the city of development, the development of shanghai devote their efforts to advance hand in hand with shanghai.。
简短搞笑英文演讲稿带翻译
1. 时光如箭
你有没有听说过时光如箭的笑话？那不仅仅是一个笑话，它还是一个双关语。短语“时光如箭”可以有两种解释。它可能意味着时间过得很快，就像箭一样迅速穿过空气。然而，它也可以被理解为“时间，这只昆虫，喜欢投掷箭。”这种言语游戏为简单的短语增添了额外的幽默层次，让它变得更加有趣。
二. 有趣的故事和笑话
1. 魔镜
从前，一个人走进一家酒吧，看到一个又高又壮的男人坐在镜子前，对镜子说道：“你很强壮，你是个好战士，每个人都爱你。”被这个情景吸引的这个人向酒保询问了关于这面镜子的情况。酒保回答说：“那是一面魔镜，它非常适合提升一个人的自信。”于是，这个人决定试试看。他站在镜子前，说：“我是一个成功的商人，我很有吸引力。”接下来发生的事情是，他在工作上得到了晋升，开始得到更多异性的关注。原来，这面镜子反映的是一个人最需要听到的东西。
大家好，很高兴今天能站在这里和大家分享一些搞笑有趣的英语演讲。笑声是最好的良药，我相信幽默可以拉近我们的距离，让我们的生活更加开心。所以，让我们来到幽默和快乐的世界吧！
I. The Power of Laughter
1. Laughter is Contagious
Have you ever noticed that when someone starts laughing, it's hard not to join in? Laughter is contagious, and it has the incredible power to bring people together. Just a simple joke or funny story can break the ice and create a sense of unity among people. When we laugh together, we bond and form connections that can last a lifetime.
简单搞笑的英语演讲稿
简单搞笑的英语演讲稿（经典版）编制人：__________________审核人：__________________审批人：__________________编制单位：__________________编制时间：____年____月____日序言下载提示：该文档是本店铺精心编制而成的，希望大家下载后，能够帮助大家解决实际问题。
文档下载后可定制修改，请根据实际需要进行调整和使用，谢谢!并且，本店铺为大家提供各种类型的经典范文，如职场文书、合同协议、总结报告、演讲致辞、规章制度、自我鉴定、应急预案、教学资料、作文大全、其他范文等等，想了解不同范文格式和写法，敬请关注!Download tips: This document is carefully compiled by this editor. I hope that after you download it, it can help you solve practical problems. The document can be customized and modified after downloading, please adjust and use it according to actual needs, thank you!Moreover, our store provides various types of classic sample essays for everyone, such as workplace documents, contract agreements, summary reports, speeches, rules and regulations, self-assessment, emergency plans, teaching materials, essay summaries, other sample essays, etc. If you want to learn about different sample essay formats and writing methods, please stay tuned!简单搞笑的英语演讲稿简单搞笑的英语演讲稿简单的英语演讲稿一、ladies and gentlemen ，good afternoon！ i?m very glad to stand here and give you a short speech.today my topic is youth.i hope you will like it ，and found the importance in your youth so that more cherish it。
幽默英文演讲稿范文5篇
幽默英文演讲稿范文5篇演讲稿可以用来沟通思想和感情，表达主见和见解;也可以用来介绍自己的学习、工作状况和阅历等，具有宣扬、鼓动、教育和观赏等作用。
下面是我整理的幽默英文演讲稿，欢迎大家阅读共享借鉴。
幽默英文演讲稿1Good morning everybody, I’m very glad to stand here and give you a short speech. We all know that Bingxin has a famous saying “we always admire the beauty of flowers but its sprout was watered by tears of struggle and rained by blood of sacrifice”. So fo r the majority, behind their success, are filled of sweat and tears. Eagle flying in the vast firmament, must be experienced the pain of countless times fall under the cliff, then hammered out a pair of volley wings. A shinning of pearls, inevitably suffer ed countless body friction and numerous waves’ shock. In this view, a real successful people, and he must experienced numerous times to stand up again and agin after failed, because without sweat and tears on the life road ,no one can casually get the beautiful flowers. Alfter a heavy fall Shi Tiesheng lost his legs, it must be a heavy blow for anyone. But he didnt lose faith in life, but use his brain and hands to show the infinite love of life;Beethoven was blind and deaf, but he still had written theHeroDestinynd so on a large number of music works, in his unfortunately life, he doggedly gripped the fate of the throat. They all had a fall, but they are strong enough to stand up, fight against fate and misfortune, finally they succeed. So for each of us, wrestling is not terrible, lose confidence and courage in life is the most terribe thing. In my opionion, the sweat and tears during the life’ journey are very important for us, they hone our will, and enrich our experience. As the saying goes, how can you see the rainbow without a rainy day, while you dont work hard and not struggle, how can you gain the successful flowers. All in all, the sweat and tears on the struggling road is inevitable, don’t look for shortcuts anymore, steadfast walk every step, we will succeed in the end. So belief yourself, nothing is impossile, just do it. Thank you for taking your time to listen to my speech, I hope in the near future we all can be successful.幽默英文演讲稿2The hours of a wise man are lengthened by his ideas as those of a fool are by his passions. The time of the one is long, because he does not know what to do with it; as is that of the other, because he distinguishes every moment of it with useful or amusing thoughts, or in other words, because the one is always wishing it away, and the other always enjoying it.How different is the view of past life, in the man who is grown old inknowledge and wisdom, from that of him who is grown in ignorance and folly? The latter is like the owner of a barren country, that fills his eye with the [1] prospect of naked hills and plains, which produce nothing either profitable or [2] ornamental; the other [3] beholds a beautiful and spacious landscape, divided into delightful gardens, green meadows, fruitful fields, and can scarce [4] cast his eye upon a single spot of his possessions, that is not covered with some beautiful plant or flower.幽默英文演讲稿3Matt and his wife lived in the country. Matt was very stingy and hated spending money. One day a fair came to the nearby town.Let’s go to the fair, Matt, his wife said. We haven’t been anywhere for a long time.Matt thought about this for a while. He knew he would have to spend money at the fair. At last he said, All right, but I’m not going to spend much money. We’ll look at things, but we won’t buy anything.They went to the fair and looked at all the things to buy. There were many things Matt’s wife wanted to buy, but he would not let her spend any money.Then, in a nearby field, they saw a small airplane.Fun flights! the notice said, $$ 10 for 10 minutes.Matt had never been in an airplane and he wanted to go on a fun flight. However, he didn’t want to have to pay for his wife, as well.I’ve only got $$ 10, he told the pilot. Can my wife come w ith me for free? The pilot wasn’t selling many tickets, so he said, I’ll make a bargain with you. If your wife doesn’t scream or shout, she can have a free flight. Matt agreed, and got into the small airplane with his wife.The pilot took off and made his airplane do all kinds of things. At one moment it was flying upside down.When the plane landed, the pilot said, 0. K. your wife didn’t make a sound. She can have her ride free.Thank you, Matt said. It wasn’t easy for her, you know, especially when she fell out.幽默英文演讲稿4There is a wonderful word which expresses the most original motions and desires among human-beings. With solving any kind of imperfections, our world has moved ahead. This is the word “innovation” that we cannot afford to lose.We chicaned every detail of the innovation. Thousands years before, we created fire when we took a stone to knock another one. Since Han Dynasty, four great inventions had been created and it is one of the greatest signs that China become to the ancient civilized country. And nowadays, thousands of software, products, architectures and public facilities have upgraded more than that about 100 years ago. So how did these happen? What will you do if you are not satisfied with your toolsanymore? What will you do if old mode cannot afford to develop in a company? There is no doubt that we should innovate no matter where we are and what we do. Not because of the design itself, but actually for its intended purpose.If there was no Apple, everyone could not imagine how to contact others easily and enjoy a better Internet surfing.If there was no Microsoft, perhaps we still worked in a dim office and duplicate some troublesome documents. If there was no Newton, and no theory of gravity, maybe I will win the Nobel Prize like Newton rather than just standing here. I have heard that three apple changed the world. The first one seduced Eve. The second one awakened Newton. The third one was in the hands of Steve Jobs. We sort of think the innovation of the world began with apple. I imagine lots of people want to become another Newton or Jobs right now with just one hand to change the world, right? Have the innovation to follow your heart. It somehow already reflects what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.Via questioning, we can start to innovate. Via innovating, we can start to create better lives. No innovation, no improvement. No improvement, no success. And no success, no civilization. Now, our time is limited, so dont waste it living someone elses life! Dont let the noise of others opinions drown out your own inner voice! Dont let yourself down! It isthe innovation that we cannot afford to lose!幽默英文演讲稿5Good morning teachers and fellow students. Today we would like to introduce a few favorite books to you.My favorite book is (Italian: Cuore). This is a diary written by an Italian boy Enrico. The diary is about his life and study. It included various touching stories that happened around Enrico, the mottos taught by his parents, as well as the wonderful ten monthly stories told by his teacher during the class. Every word in the chapter describes the word love. From patriotism to friendship, and to the love between parents and child -- really touching.This novel taught me how to love, and how to learn from love. I really like this book very much. How about you? What is your favorite book? My favorite book is . Have you read it before?Oh, I haven’t read this book before. What is it about?Well, it is a story of a rich girl who maintained her noble character after the bankruptcy of her father. The story is happy ending.Can you tell us why you love this book so much?Sure. It is because the story taught us to be brave and to face the challenges and difficulties with courage. I am deeply impressed by the strength and perseverance of the little princess in the story. I have decided to learn from her from now on.Oh I see, the story sounds very good. I cannot wait to read this book as well.幽默英文演讲稿范文。
三分钟幽默搞笑英语演讲稿范文
三分钟幽默搞笑英语演讲稿范文导读：本文是关于三分钟幽默搞笑英语演讲稿范文，希望能帮助到您！三分钟搞笑英语演讲稿范文篇一once upon a time, a weenie ant was walking on his way. as he was walking, suddenly he felt the ground shaking terribly. he looked around with his paranoid eyes and saw an elephant walking right behind him. quickly, the little ant covered himself with dirt, but one leg was unfortunately left out. a sparrow saw everything, so she flew down with the purpose of teasing the ant: “hey, chicken! watch out your leg, it’s out!” the ant felt embarrassed at first but then calmly responded: “ shi…i am going to trip that elephant.”right now, i’m standing on this glamorous stage. but everything here reminds me of is a not so fun memory. around this time last year i was in nanjing competing in another speech contest. that was the first time for me to be in such a large event. of course the pressure i was under was immense too. after a sleepless and stressful night, i went onto that stage without the feeling in my legs. that speech turned out to be horrible. i don’t remember how i get down from there, but i do remember afterwards i just wanted to find a hole to hide in just like the ant in the story. back at my school, it took a long time for me to recover. thanks to all the help i got from my special friends. my confidence was restored. after rounds of giving speechesand answering tough questions, i am here today. from all that i’ve been through i’ve learned that a good future is based on a forgotten past, if i want my life to go on well i have to let go of my past failure. so today, with out fear, i am tripping my elephant again.三分钟搞笑英语演讲稿范文篇二good morning,dear teacher and my friends.it’s a very intresting topic today.i think my dad was a hero for me when i was a young child. we'd go fishing, walks, and other fun things for a kid.every child has a good and great father, and so do i. my dad played a very important role in my daily life`````exactly speaking, in my past 16 years.my father always stands in the center of my life， from past till now and possibly in the future.my family was rather poor when i was in my childhood. we didn't have our own house and had to live in a shabby， small room rented from my father's factory. the room was so small that there was little space for people to walk. i didn't have my own bed and had to sleep with my parents. this is terrible both for my parents and me.but father made this all different!he works very hard on his own business, now we have our own 2 housese,surly,i have my own room.and he take our family so much happiness, richer and richer.when i was little, i did everything with my dad. you could always find me sitting on his knee or walking and doing everything with him.every night he would read me a bed time story and make the voices of each character.i learnt a lot from my daddy. i learnt to never take things to seriously and to always smile.like many other fathers, my dad and i also has generation gap. he is not good at or even can’t work the computer. so when i sitting at the computer desk,he will say something like ‘you should pay more attention to your study’, ‘don’t waste time on the computer games’ , ‘it will be bad for your eyes’ and so on. how can i- a computer fan – reduce time on computer? so i continue studying and playing on ityears pasted, my father is over 45 now. it is time for me to look after him and i am sure i will do and we will live an even better life. and i will say,i really love you dad,cause you are the hero in my mind.thank you so much!三分钟搞笑英语演讲稿范文篇三the footsteps of the XX world expo is getting closer and closer to us, civilized and harmonious call is still ringing in my ears. shanghai, china obtained the right to host the world expo XX, expo XX shanghai china will be a world event, the development of shanghai's new round of golden opportunity, as it is an important embodiment of our national spirit.world expo is a great influence and a long history ofinternational activities, is the largest gathering of human beings. people from around the world gathered in one place display their products and skills, boast of their hometown and motherland. expo set the culmination of human civilization, which has a unique appeal, make you feel surging.world expo is a platform, we are the masters. she put up a platform for us to let the world know us; she built a bridge for us, so we better communicate with the world. this platform may let us display self wantonly. we are the masters here, we have to landlord, let guest experience enthusiasm and happiness.everyone to contribute for the expo, we are no exception, as a living piece of fertile land in pudong's teachers, we are proud and pride. in the vision of a better tomorrow, we have to do for the world expo will own a wonderful ability, we have through our hands, warm heart and sincerity to practical action to achieve the commitment of shanghai to the world. we should educate the many students: do not throw garbage anywhere, no spitting, no jaywalking ... ..., hello, thank you frequently mention, let the material on this city with the new york comparable to the spiritual civilization. educate our students to exciting XX, willing to shanghai's future by copies of power, if only planted a small tree, participants in the shanghai world expo foreign guests feel: this is a forest city, pollution-free city, ancient and civilized city. better city, better life! until the time of the XX expo, then, wewant to become a glorious volunteers, to changing our foreign friends in shanghai and china's long history, about our education for the world expo will contribute their efforts.we expect the majority of teachers will be great enthusiasm for the world expo into practical action to meet the world expo, the expo will be a total growth, and the city of development, the development of shanghai devote their efforts to advance hand in hand with shanghai.三分钟搞笑英语演讲稿篇四good afternoon ，ladies and gentlemen!i’m very honored to stand here and give you a short speech! to begin with ,i want to ask a question .does everybody dream a good dream last night? actually ,today i want to talk about dream with you. of course, what i want to talk is not a dream you have last night,but a dream—— about life.everyone has dreams about life, different dreams at different life stage,and we need dreams to support us. dreams are like the stars we never reach in the sky,but like most mariners(水手),we can chart our course by them. with the dream,we have a direction,with a direction, we were no longer confused.with the dream, there is hope,with hope, we have the strength to fight.i have a dream: to be a doctor.，because doctor may relieve the pain of patients. may let the human change the health. at the same time, i believed that, those who help others may be able to obtainjoyfully. therefore, i hoped in the near future ,i might be a doctor.but i know，life is tough,and there are always ups and downs, maybe we fail in the way to our aims,and we may feel depressed ,whenever at this time, the dream in our heart can always comfort us, encourage us ,and support us to move ahead .young!fortunately, i am young now. just due to it, i know that nothing is impossible.i firmly believe that nothing can stand in my way. if i can't realize my dream,it result from that i haven't work harder enough and i won't find other excuses. if no people believe you, you can make it to prove that you are right. if you think the god haven't blessed you and there is no truth here, you can become the god and create the truth."my breath swallows the sky and make the yellow river overflow, my sword is famous in kyushu and it can collapse the five sacred mountains." at some time in the past i also had am bitious words and i had some achievements. each achievement results from my hard work.i always believe that "if you want to have more achievements than others, you must work harder." in some extent, the dream is the hope. if you can insist on doing something, the victory will come.hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. hold fast to dreams, for when dreams go, life is a barren field frozen with snow. so my dear friends, think of your old and maybe dead dreams. whatever it is, pick it up and make it alive from today. let's--- move ----out!thank you for your listening!三分钟搞笑英语演讲稿篇五good afternoon!recently, ther is a heated debate in our society. the college students are the beneficiaries of a rare privilege, who receive exceptional education at extraordinary places. but will we be able to face the challenge and support ourselves against all odds? will we be able to better the lives of others? will we be able to accept the responsibility of building the future of our country?the cynics say the college students are the pampered lost generation, which would cringe at the slightest discomfort. but the cynics are wrong. the college students i see are eagerly learning about how to live independently. we help each other clean the dormitory, go shopping and bargain together, and take part time jobs to supplement our pocket money.the cynics say we care for nothing other than grades; and we neglect the need for character cultivation. but again, the cynics are wrong. we care deeply for each other, we cherish freedom, we treasure justice, and we seek truth. last week, thousands of my fellow students had their blood type tested in order to make a contribution for the children who suffer from blood cancer.as college students, we are adolescents at the critical turning point in our lives. we all face a fundamental choice: cynicism or faith, each will profoundly impact our future, or even the futureof our country. i believe in all my fellow classmates. though we are still inexperienced and even a little bit childish. i believe that we have the courage and faith to meet any challenge and take on our responsibilities. we are preparing to assume new responsibilities and tasks, and to use the education we have received to make our world a better place. i believe in our future.三分钟搞笑英语演讲稿篇六love your motherwhy are you crying, a young boy asked his mom?"because i'm a woman," she told him."i don't understand," he said.his mom just hugged him and said,"and you never will, but that's o.k.".......later the little boy asked his father,"why does mom seem to cry for no reason?"."all women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say......the little boy grew up and became a man,still wondering why women cry.finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked "god, why do women cry so easily?"god answered......"when i made woman,i decided she had to be special.i made her shouldersstrong enough to carrythe weight of the world, yet,made her arms gentle enough to give comfort...i gave her the inner strengthto endure childbirthand the rejectionthat many times will comeeven from her own children.i gave her a hardnessthat allows herto keep going and take careof her family and friends,even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue withoutcomplaining....i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. even when her child has hurt her badly....she has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager's anxieties and fears....i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faultsand i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....。
大学英语演讲稿幽默5篇
大学英语演讲稿幽默5篇Good afternoon ，ladies and gentlemen!I’m very honored to stand here and give you a short speech! To begin with ，I want to ask a question everybody dream a good dream last night? Actually ，today I want to talk about dreamwith you. Of course， What I want to talk is not a dream youhave last night，but a dream， about life.Everyone has dreams about life， different dreams atdifferent life stage，and we need dreams to support us. Dreamsare like the stars we never reach in the sky，but like most mariners(水手)，we can chart our course by them. With the dream，we have a direction，with a direction， we were no longer the dream， there is hope，With hope， we have the strength to fight.I have a dream： To be a doctor.，because doctor may relieve the pain of patients. May let the human change the health. Atthe\overflow， my sword is famous in Kyushu and it can collapse the five sacred mountains.\bitious words and I had some achievements. Each achievement results from my hard work. I always believe that \have more achievements than others， you must work harder.\Hold fast to dreams， for if dreams die， life is abroken-winged bird that cannot fly. Hold fast to dreams，for when dreams go， life is a barren field frozen with snow. So my dear friends， think of your old and maybe dead dreams. Whatever it is， pick it up and make it alive from today. Lets--- move ----out! Thank you for your listening! 大学英语演讲稿幽默(2)A poet said “To see a world in a grain of sand， and a heaven in a wild flower， hold infinity in the palm of your hand，and eternity in an hour. Several days ago， I had a chance to listen to a lecture. I learnt a lot there. I’d like to share it with all of you. Let’s show our right palms. We can see three lines that show how our er and life is. I have a short line of life. What about yours? I wondered whether we could see ourfuture in this way. Well，let’s make a fist. Where is our future? Where is our love， career， and life? Tell ， it is in our hands. It is held in ourselves.We all want the future to be better than the past. But the future can go better itself. Don’t cry because it is over，smile because it happened. From the past，we’ve learnt thatthe life is tough，but we are tougher. We’ve learnt that we can’t choose how we feel， but we can choose what about it. Failure doesn’t mean you don’t have it， it does mean you should do it in a different way. Failure doesn’t mean youshould give up， it does mean you must try harder.As what I said at the beginning，“we are reading the first verse of the first chapter of a book， whose pages are infinite”. The past has gone. Nothing we do will change it. But the future is in front of us. Believe that what we give to the world， the world will。
搞笑英语演讲稿范文
Ladies and gentlemen,Good [morning/afternoon/evening]. Today, I stand before you not as a seasoned philosopher, nor as a renowned psychologist, but as a mere mortal who has survived countless misadventures in the realm of life. And what better way to share these experiences than through humor, right? So, without further ado, let me introduce you to my very own, "The Unofficial Guide to Life: A Comical Take on Everyday Adventures."First and foremost, let's talk about the art of time management. We all know that life is a race against time, and we are all running indifferent lanes, trying to catch up with the ever-elusive "I Have to Do Everything Right Now" train. But here's the kicker: the train never stops, and we keep running, exhausted and laughing at our own foolishness.For instance, have you ever tried to wake up early to get a head starton your day, only to realize that you've set your alarm for 3 AM instead of 7 AM? I have! It's like your body is playing a cruel joke on you, saying, "Oh, you think you're smart? Let's see you get out of bed now!" And so, you lie there, half-asleep, cursing your half-witted self, while your internal clock starts ticking like a bomb.Moving on to the next chapter in our lives – the quest for fashion perfection. We've all had that one outfit that we thought was the pinnacle of coolness, only to walk into a room and have someone ask, "Are you trying to start a fashion revolution, or are you just confused about your style?" I mean, come on, people! It's not that hard to match your socks!Now, let's delve into the world of cooking. Ah, cooking – a delightful blend of love, patience, and a dash of chaos. Have you ever tried to bake a cake, only to find out that your oven decided to take a nap at350 degrees? And the worst part? You don't even have the heart to tellit that you were counting on it to be awake. So, you end up with a cake that's more of a science experiment than a dessert.But fear not, my fellow adventurers, for there is always a silver lining. When your cake fails, you can always pretend it's a "rustic" dessert,and voilà! You've just become a master chef of accidental cuisine.And let's not forget the age-old battle of willpower versus temptation. We all know that one moment of weakness when we decide to go for that extra slice of pizza, even though we promised ourselves we wouldn't. And then, of course, we have the inevitable regret. But here's the funny part: the next day, we find ourselves back at the same crossroads, pondering the same question: "Should I or shouldn't I?"In conclusion, my dear friends, life is a rollercoaster of misadventures, but it's the laughter and the joy we find in our failures that make it worthwhile. So, let's embrace our inner klutzes, fashion disasters, and accidental chefs, and celebrate the fact that we are all just trying to make sense of this wonderful, bewildering world.Thank you for listening, and remember: life is too short to take ourselves too seriously. So, let's keep laughing, keep learning, and keep living our unscripted adventures.[Applause]。
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幽默英语演讲稿love your mother 爱你的母亲why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom?你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈. because im a woman, she told him.因为我是女人,她告诉他.i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k........妈妈拥抱了他说,你永远也不会明白,但没关系... later the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no reason?.后来小男孩问他的父亲妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣? all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say...... 所有的女人都会常常没有原因地哭泣,这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的... the little boy grew up andbecame a man,still wondering why women cry.等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候, 他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭.finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, whydo women cry so easily?最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣? god answered......上帝回答:when i made woman,i decided she had to be special.i made her shouldersstrong enough to carrythe weight of the world, yet, 当我创造女人的时候,我决定把她造的很特别,我让她的双肩强壮的足以能够承担整个世界,但是, 却让她的双臂温柔的足够去安慰他人...i gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejectioneven from her own children.我给她内在的力量去忍受生产的剧痛, 也让她有勇气承受无数的伤害, 甚至这些伤害有时会来自于自己的孩子...i gave her a hardnessthat allows herto keep going and take careof her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without 我给她顽强,让她能够不断地前进, 并且照顾自己的家人和朋友, 甚至当每个人都放弃的时候, 她却能够坚强地在疾病和劳累之时毫无怨言...i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances.even when her child has hurt her badly.... she has the very special power to make a childs boo-boo feel better and to quella teenagers anxieties and fears....我给她内心的敏感,让她在任何环境下都深爱着自己的孩子.甚至在他们深深伤害她的时候．．．她用那特别的力量，让年幼孩子的在受伤的时候感到安慰，也能够让年轻的子女消除紧张与恐惧．．．i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults and i fashionedher from his rib to protect his heart....我给她力量关心她的丈夫，尽管他会犯错．我用男人的肋骨创造了女人，使女人可以保护男人的心脏．．．i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimestests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....我给她智慧，让她知道一个好丈夫永远不会伤害他的妻子，但有时候会试炼她坚定的永远跟随自己丈夫的能力与决心．for all of this hard work, i also gave her a tear to shed. it is hers to usewhenever needed andit is her only weakness.... when you see her cry, tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good. 因为这些种种的困难，我也同样赐她流下眼泪，这是当她在需要时可以使用的，这是她唯一的软弱之处．．．当你看到她哭泣的时候，告诉她你有多么地爱她，告诉她她为所有人所做的一切，即使这样她可能还是会哭泣，但你会使她的心里得到安慰．she is special!please send this to women you know, and those with mothers, sisters, and specialwomen in their lives.她是独特的！请把这个信息传递给你认识的女人，有母亲，姐妹和特别的女性在他们生命里的人．but, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thinga woman is.篇二：中英文幽默演讲幽默演讲——调侃自己（中英对照）演讲者如何调侃自己创新句子：你们或者睡觉，或者不睡，只要不打呼噜，我就接着讲。
幽默注释：演讲者讲得太糟糕了，组织者哭得很伤心。
演讲结束时，宴会主人感谢你从繁忙的日程中抽出时间来——你泰然自若，优雅地点头微笑着，心里非常清楚你日历上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝点咖啡。
poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for takingtime out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program --- and you nod and smilegraciously knowing full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffeefrom breakfast.幽默注释：一些老干部退休后没什么事干，有人请他参加一些活动，他还假装很忙，好象推开了很多事才赶去似的。
过去我演讲时常常会比较紧张，但那时我看到一条信息说如果你想象所有的观众都是裸体会有所帮助。
此时此刻，我站在这里想象着观众都是裸体，真的起作用，我不再紧张了，但眼睛有些疲劳。
i used to get nervous when giving a speech but then i read that it helps to thinkof the entire audience as being naked. and so, at this very moment, i’m standing up here imagining every one in this audience as being naked. and it reallyworks. i no suffer from nervousness. eyestrain. yes.幽默注释：把观众想象成裸体，意思是我不怕你们，就不紧张了。
创新句子：大部分人站在讲台上都会有点儿紧张，我属于少部分人，我非常紧张。
我本人不自负——我简直不能告诉你们我是多么钦佩我这一点。
personally, i havenever been conceited --- and i can’t tell you how much i admire myself for that.幽默句子：他因为自己不自负，所以变得非常骄傲。
创新句子：我一点儿都不自负，我希望别人也这么看我。
我先用简单明了的英语演讲，以后我再翻译给律师听。
let me put this into plain english. i’ll translate it for the lawyers later.幽默注释：律师总喜欢用复杂的语言，简单的话都听不懂了。
创新句子：我的讲话有三个版本，小学生版本，中学生版本，大学生版本，你是听小学一年纪版的，还是小学二年纪版的？如果你听过这个故事，请不要打断我，我就知道这一个故事。
if you’ve already heard this story, please don’t stop me because it’s the onlyone i know.幽默注释：就是你知道两个故事，讲故事前也可以这么说。
创新句子：我讲个笑话，如果你们听过，也希望装做没听过，我也这样照顾你们。
演讲就象给草坪浇水，如果有四分之一的水渗下去你就满意了。
making a speech is like watering a lawn. you’re satisfied if just a quarter ofit sinks in.幽默注释：有人打呼噜，有人说话，都是正常的，有四分之一观众听就不错了。
幽默句子：即兴演讲的开场白。
创新句子：我不知道你们会不会喜欢我的演讲，我不知道我要讲点儿什么。
开始前我想告诉你们下面的演讲已经编辑成了电视节目，我现在少讲20分钟，我们能够及时赶回家看2台的节目。
before i begin, i want you to know that the following speech has been edited fortelevision. i cut 20 minutes out of it so we could all get home in time for the gameon channel 2.幽默注释：放着现场不看，偏要回家在电视上看。