经典趣味英语笑话
经典趣味英语笑话7篇
经典趣味英语笑话7篇下面是店铺整理的经典趣味英语笑话，欢迎大家阅读!经典趣味英语笑话：太黑了，看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
”经典趣味英语笑话：One real manThe ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives. He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely(严格地，严厉地).Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel(劝告，建议) to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.It's good to see, said the king, that we have one real man in the kingdom. Tell these chickenhearted(胆小的) dunces(傻瓜) why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.Your Majesty, came the reply in a squealing voice, it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.一个真正的男子汉古代有一个国王，他想证明他领土内的男人并非像人们传说的那样，受到老婆的管制。
读英文的笑话
读英文的笑话笑话1：Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent!笑话2：Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!笑话3：I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.笑话4：I bought shoes from a drug dealer once. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!笑话5：I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you!"笑话6：Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!笑话7：Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!笑话8：I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.笑话9：I saw a wino eating grapes. I told him, "You have to wait!"笑话10：I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually, it came back to me.笑话11：Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!笑话12：What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!笑话13：My friend told me that I should be more optimistic. I said, "Okay, I'm positive!"笑话14：I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话15：Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them!笑话16：Why don't calculators go to the beach? Because they can't handle the waves!笑话17：What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!笑话18：I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.笑话19：I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.笑话20：Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!笑话21：I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话22：What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!笑话23：Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!笑话24：I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话25：Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!笑话26：What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!笑话27：Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!笑话28：I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话29：What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!笑话30：Why don't calculators go to the beach? Because they can't handle the waves!以上是30个英文笑话的集合，希望你能通过阅读它们，享受一段愉快的时光并大笑一番！笑话的目的是为了带给我们快乐和轻松，让我们忘记生活中的压力和烦恼。
【笑话】关于英语幽默笑话短_幽默笑话短信
关于英语幽默笑话短_幽默笑话短信在这个快节奏的生活中，找点乐子成了我们不可或缺的调味剂。
而英语幽默笑话，就像是那杯午后的咖啡，提神又醒脑，让人在不经意间笑出声。
今天，就让我带你走进那些让人捧腹的英语幽默笑话，一起感受那些简单却充满智慧的快乐瞬间，说不定还能笑出腹肌呢！一、误解也疯狂记得有一次，我在一个国际交友平台上遇到了一个英国朋友，名叫Tom。
我们聊得很投机，直到有一天，他给我发了一条信息：“I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse!” 我一看，心里咯噔一下，心想：“这哥们儿是不是饿疯了？要吃马？”正当我紧张地想要安慰他时，他突然发来一个笑脸符号，解释说：“哈哈，这是句英国俚语，意思是‘我饿得能吃下一头牛’！”我这才恍然大悟，原来英语里的表达有时候这么直接又夸张，让人忍俊不禁。
从那以后，每次我觉得饿极了，就会半开玩笑地说：“I could eat a horse too!”二、单词游戏的乐趣还有一次，我和几个英语爱好者朋友聚在一起玩“单词接龙”。
轮到我的时候，我灵光一闪，说了一个“banana”（香蕉）。
下一个朋友稍作思考，接了个“analyst”（分析师）。
轮到下一位时，他明显卡壳了，眉头紧锁。
我们都以为他要输了，结果他突然眼睛一亮，大喊：“Stop! I’ve got it! Spyglass!”（等等！我想到了！望远镜！）原来，他是把“analyst”倒过来念成了“tsylana”，然后巧妙地加上了“ss”和“pyg”变成了“spyglass”。
那一刻，我们都被他的机智逗乐了，这场游戏也因此变得更加有趣和富有挑战性。
三、短信里的幽默宝藏在手机短信盛行的年代，我也收到过不少让人捧腹的英语幽默短信。
其中一条至今让我记忆犹新：“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”（为什么科学家不信任原子？因为它们总是编造一切！）这句简短却充满讽刺意味的话，用科学的术语包装了一个日常生活中的笑话，让人在会心一笑的同时，也感受到了英语的魅力。
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，另外一个行动(动作)型的笑话是以动作影响人的视觉及观感，而感到好笑。
下面一起来看一下一些爆笑英语笑话吧。
In music class, the teacher asked Jack: “Please answer me what the oldest musical instrument is.”音乐课上，老师问杰克：“请回答，世界上最古老的乐器是什么?”Jack answered unhesitatingly: “It is the accordion.”杰克坚定地回答：“是手风琴。
”The teacher asked doubtfully: “Why do you say that it is the accordion, my dear boy?”老师疑惑地问：“为什么是手风琴呢，英语笑话我可爱的孩子?”Jack s aid: “Teacher, don’t you see that the accordion is completely covered by wrinkles.”杰克说：“老师，您没看见手风琴上全是皱纹吗?”最好的解释The Best ExplanationOnce in a physics class, Tom’s teacher asked the students: “When it thunders, why do we see the lightning first, then hear the thunders?”一次物理课上，汤姆的老师问同学们：“当打雷的时候，为什么我们先看到闪电，然后才听到雷声呢?”Tom answered the question very quickly, while his classmates were thinking it hard.当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，英语笑话汤姆很快就答了上来。
英语幽默笑话
英语幽默笑话英语幽默笑话（精选15篇） 在繁忙的学习⼯作中，适时读⼀些幽默笑话，放松⾃⼰，劳逸结合⼗分重要。
下⾯是⼩编为你整理的⼏则英语幽默精彩段⼦，让你笑到停不下来 英语幽默笑话篇1 ⼀、我是单⾝汉 Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt.A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms.Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked."Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor." 杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.⼀位年轻美貌的护⼠拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护⼠问."有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单⾝汉." ⼆、死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭 Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho. Husband:It's okey.To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals. 妻⼦：你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的⼈80%都是喝酒的. 丈夫：那有什么?据我调查,死于肝癌的⼈100%都吃饭的. 三、位置上的冰激凌 "Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine." "Yours?Can you prove it?" "Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it." "请原谅,你占了我的位置." "你的位置?你能征明这点吗?" "能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌." 四、别⽆选择 One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?" Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?" ⼀天,夏娃问亚当："你当真爱我吗?" 亚当⽆可奈何地回答："我还有的选择吗?" 五、两个男孩 Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says,"Why are you arguing?" One boy answers,"We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher,"When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher. 当⽼师⾛进教室时,两个男孩在争论. ⽼师是说：你们在争论什么? ⼀个男孩回答：‘我们捡到⼀张10块,我们决定把它给⼀个说最⼤的谎的⼈.’ ‘你们应该觉得羞耻’⽼师说,‘当我像你们那么⼤的时候,我连什么是说谎都不知道.’ 两个男孩把钱给了那个⽼师. 六、两只鸟 Teacher:Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which? Student:I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher:Please tell us. Student:The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. ⽼师：这⼉有两只鸟,⼀只是⿇雀.谁能指出哪只是燕⼦,哪只是⿇雀吗? 学⽣：我指不出,但我知道答案. ⽼师：请说说看. 学⽣：燕⼦旁边的`就是⿇雀,⿇雀旁边的就是燕⼦. 七、鱼⽹ "Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. "你能告诉我鱼⽹是什么做的吗," ⽼师发问道. "把许多⼩孔⽤绳⼦栓在⼀起就成了鱼⽹了." ⼩⼥孩回答道. ⼋、他赢了 Tommy:How is your little brother,Johnny?Johnny:He is ill in bed.He hurt himself. Tommy:That's too bad.How did that happen? Johnny:We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won. 汤姆：约翰尼,你⼩弟弟好吗? 约翰尼：他害病卧床了.他受了伤. 汤姆：真糟糕,怎么回事⼉? 约翰尼：我们做游戏,看谁能把⾝⼦探出窗外最远,他赢了. 选我吧 英语幽默笑话篇2 ⼼不在焉的⽼师 An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street withone foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said： “Good evening，professor.How are you? “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.” 有⼀天，⼈们看见⼀个有名的⼼不在焉的⽼师在路上⾛，他的⼀只脚⼀直踏在街沟⾥，另⼀只脚踩在⼈⾏道上。
英语幽默小笑话100个
英语幽默小笑话100个笑话是一种能够带给人快乐，平添生活乐趣的文凭形式，以其机智、幽默、搞笑的特点，深受人们喜爱。
英语幽默小笑话就是一种给人带来快乐的黑色幽默渐层，也是美国人的一大特色文化。
以下是100个英语幽默小笑话：1、A: What did the fish say when it hit the wall?B: Dam!2、Q: What did the policeman say to his belly?A: Freeze!3、Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?A: Right where you left it.4、Q: What did the tie say to the hat?A: You go on a head, and I hang around.5、Q: Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?A: He wanted to improve his bite.6、Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?A: Dam!7、Q: What did the tree say to autumn?A: Leaf me alone.8、Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?A: Write on me!9、Q: What did the monster say when he swallowed a clown?A: You taste funny.10、Q: Why don scientists trust atoms?A: Because they make up everything.11、Q: How do you make a tissue dance?A: You put a little boogie in it.12、Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?A: A gummy bear.13、Q: What did the elephant say to the birthday cake? A: Nothing, it just gave it a big hug.14、Q: Why don vampires like going to parties?A: They don like to get sucked into conversations.15、Q: What did the bee say when it hit the window?A: Oh, buzz off!16、Q: Why did the scarecrow get promoted?A: Because he was outstanding in his field.17、Q: What did the barrel say to the other barrel?A: We can stand each other!18、Q: How do you make a hoodie laugh?A: Tell it a joke hoodie-style.19、Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? A: Put it on my bill.20、Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?A: A gummy bear.21、Q: why don astronauts play cards in space?A: Because they float away!22、Q: How do you make an octopus laugh?A: With ten-tickles.23、Q: What did the sheep say to the shepherd?A: Nothing, it just baa-ed.24、Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the courtroom?A: Odor in the court!25、Q: What did the calculator say to the math book?A: You can count on me!26、Q: What did the helium balloon say to the air?A: Nothing, it just let out a little squeak.27、Q: What did the computer say when it crashed?A: Hey, I having a bad day!28、Q: What did the 0 say to the 8?A: Nice belt!29、Q: What did the paperclip say to the magnet?A: I find you very attractive.30、Q: What did the silverware say to the plate?A: You complete me!31、Q: What did the pirate say when he turned 80?A: Aye matey!32、Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?A: You turn me on!33、Q: What did the big chimney say to the small chimney? A: You too young to smoke!34、Q: What did the clock say to the other clock?A: Don worry, I right behind you.35、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: I here to pollenate!36、Q: What did the teacher say to the pencil?A: You looking sharp!37、Q: What did the hamburger say to the hotdog?A: We make a great pair!38、Q: What did the rain say to the dirt?A: Let go make some mud pies!39、Q: What did the calculator say to the math book?A: You can count on me!40、Q: What did the fish say when it hit the wall?A: Dam!41、Q: What did the elephant say to the birthday cake? A: Nothing, it just gave it a big hug!42、Q: What did the cowboy say when he lost his horse? A: Howdy, saddle-less!43、Q: What did the alien say to the dad?A: Take me to your leader!44、Q: What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?A: Hold on to your leaves!45、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: I here to pollenate!46、Q: What did the carrot say to the rabbit?A: Let go for a hop!47、Q: What did the teacher say to the pencil?A: You looking sharp!48、Q: What did the rock say to the cliff?A: Hang in there!49、Q: What did the letter say to the envelope?A: Let stick together!50、Q: What did the mama bee say to her lazy bee?A: Wake up and Bee productive!51、Q: What did the cowboy say when he lost his horse? A: Howdy, saddle-less!52、Q: What did the egg say to the frying pan?A: You crack me up!53、Q: What did the key say to the lock?A: It so nice to see you again!54、Q: What did the snail say to the turtle?A: Hurry up!55、Q: What did the cowboy say to the cactus?A: How it hanging?56、Q: What did the doctor say to the patient?A: Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.57、Q: What did the bicycle say to the car?A: You may be faster, but I more fun!58、Q: What did the two antennas say to each other? A: You look good, girl!59、Q: What did the octopus say to the philosopher? A: I think, therefore I am eight!60、Q: What did the big hand say to the little hand? A: Let get to work!61、Q: What did the tomato say to the other tomato? A: You looking a little red today.62、Q: What did the duck say to the waiter?A: Put it on my bill.63、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: I here to pollenate!A: Bee yourself!65、Q: What did the bird say to the worm?A: Worm your way out!66、Q: What did the fish say to the whale?A: You a big fish in a small pond.67、Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?A: Write on me!68、Q: What did the teapot say to the cup?A: Time for a cup of tea!69、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Buzz off!70、Q: What did the noodle say to the other noodle? A: Let have a pasta party!71、Q: What did the alarm clock say to the bed?A: Time to wake up!72、Q: What did the tree say to the wind?A: Leaf me alone!73、Q: What did the tree say to the other tree?A: What a re-leaf!74、Q: What did the fish say when it hit the wall? A: Dam!A: You looking sharp!76、Q: What did the calculator say to the math book?A: Let work it out!77、Q: What did the bird say to the worm?A: Wanna come out and play?78、Q: What did the elephant say to the mouse?A: You so tiny!79、Q: What did the bee say to the other bee?A: Let make honey!80、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Smell me!81、Q: What did the frog say to the fly?A: Time for dinner!82、Q: What did the pizza say to the oven?A: Let get cooking!83、Q: What did the fish say when it saw a boat?A: That a big hook!84、Q: What did the elephant say when he saw the mouse? A: That tiny!85、Q: What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? A: We have a lot in common!86、Q: What did the ball say to the other ball?A: Let play catch!87、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Bee mine!88、Q: What did the ice cream cone say to the other ice cream cone?A: Let have a scoop!89、Q: What did the tree say to the axe?A: Chop chop!90、Q: What did the pencil say to the eraser?A: Let work it out!91、Q: What did the horse say when it tripped?A: Neigh!92、Q: What did the scarecrow say when it got promoted? A: I outstanding in my field!93、Q: What did the pelican say to the other pelican? A: Let go for a dive!94、Q: What did the bee say to the other bee?A: Hey, bee-friend!95、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Let make honey!96、Q: What did the lightbulb say to the switch?A: You turn me on!97、Q: What did the firefly say to the other firefly? A: Let light up the night!98、Q: What did the bee say to the flower?A: Smell me!99、Q: What did the spider say to the fly?A: You in my web now!100、Q: What did the bee say to the beekeeper?A: Let me out of this hive!从上述100个英语幽默小笑话可以看出，英语幽默小笑话涵盖了生活中的各种场景，不论是小动物、植物、机械还是自然现象，都能以机智、幽默、搞笑的方式进行描述。
爆笑的英文小笑话大全笑死人
爆笑的英文小笑话大全笑死人笑话一般是短小精悍、句子结构紧凑、运用艺术手段造成巨大的夸张和想象,使矛盾发展到最尖锐的地步,然后突然得到意外的解决,从而生成强烈的喜剧效果。
小编精心收集了爆笑的英文小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!爆笑的英文小笑话篇1骗子，骗子A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband wasmissing.老婆与隔壁邻居到警察局报案说她的老公失踪了。
The policeman asked her for a description.警察要求，她形容一下。
She said,"He is 35 years old,6 feet 4 inches,has dark eyes,dark wavy hair,an athleticbuild,weighs 185 pounds,is soft-spoken ,and is good to the children."她说：“他三十五岁，六尺四寸，黑眼睛，波浪状的深色头发;体格健壮，体重185磅，说话很轻，而且对小孩子很好。
”The next-door neighbor protested,隔壁邻居期提出反驳说："Your husband is 5 feet 4 inches,chubby,bald,has a big mouth,and is mean to your children."“你老公五尺四寸，胖嘟嘟的，秃头，有一个太嘴巴，而且对你的小孩很刻薄。
”The wife replied,"Yes,but who wants"THIS KIND OF STUFF"back?"老婆回答说：“你说对了，可是谁会要这种没用的废物回来呀?”爆笑的英文小笑话篇2怕老婆的老公A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to asserthimself.有一位怕老婆的老公接受心理治疗师的建议要坚持自己的主见。
英语搞笑笑话6篇
英语搞笑笑话6篇幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。
笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古。
下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话一：How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。
孩子们齐声回答：“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗?”回答还是：“不能!”“好吧，”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行!”英语搞笑笑话二：I Want Her to go NutsMrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.""But you're not wearing any of those things.""I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die beforemy husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。
20篇简短英语笑话
20篇简短英语笑话1. Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!2. Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!3. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!4. Why don't skeletons fight each other?They don't have the guts!5. Why did the tomato turn red?Because it saw the salad dressing!6. What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear!7. Why don't oysters donate to charity?Because they are shellfish!8. What did one wall say to the other wall?I'll meet you at the corner!9. Why don't scientists trust stairs?Because they're always up to something!10. What kind of shoes do thieves wear?Sneakers!11. Why don't skeletons fight each other?They don't have the guts!12. Why did the bicycle fall over?Because it was two-tired!13. What do you call fake spaghetti?An impasta!14. How do you organize a space party?You planet!15. Why did the math book look sad?Because it had too many problems!16. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!17. Why did the stadium get hot after the game?All of the fans left!18. What do you call a fish wearing a crown?King Cod!19. Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!20. How do you catch a squirrel?Climb a tree and act like a nut!总结：以上是20个简短的英语笑话，每个笑话都是一个独立的小故事，通过幽默诙谐的句子展示出逗人发笑的效果。
十个英语笑话爆笑超短
十个英语笑话爆笑超短1、What is the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home2、"What is the thinnest book in the world? ""What men know about women."""3、"苦命的salesman An insect repellent salesman tried to sell his product to a farmer. He said he wasn""t interested because he hadn""t seen any bugs or insects on his farm for years. The salesman indicated he had a wife and four kids and really needed the money. The......"4、"运动世家A German, Englishman and American are traveling ona train. They get bored and start telling each other about their families. The German says I have 4 kids, one more and they""ll make a basketball team. The Englishman says huh!Thats nothing, I have 10 boys,&nbs......"5、"FLOWERS It means that... You love the beauty of nature, the scent of flowers and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture. OR You get some twisted joy out of watching vegetation wither and die."6、"Revealing Gift Test Which gift would you like? To determine your personality, pick the gift you""d most like to receive."7、"A SWEET POEM It means that... You""re a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the writtenword. OR You""re used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the w......"8、"A married couple on the farm are visited by an alien couple. The alien couple asked the human couple if they would like to swap partners for sex.They agree, the human woman and alien man are together. She says, ""You have a small penis!""The alien man replies, ""pull my ears!""......A man enters a barber shop for a shave.While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problem he has getting a close shave around his cheeks.""I have just the thing,"" says the barber, taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. ""Just place this between your cheek and gum.""......"9、"A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached a cloud, upon which sat a rather plump and very ugly woman. ""Screw me or climb the ladder to success,"" she said......."10、"同学是某偏远地区的，英语发音一直不标准，老师英文也是发不准，所以学生更是一口地道的土腔英语。
英语幽默笑话集锦
英语幽默笑话集锦笑话1：鸡蛋的问题小明问小华：“你怎么知道一个鸡蛋是生的还是熟的？”小华：“很简单，我把鸡蛋放进水里，如果浮起来就是生的，如果沉下去就是熟的。
”小明：“那如果鸡蛋半浮半沉呢？”小华：“那就是半生不熟。
”笑话2：打电话小明用英语给外国朋友打电话：“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友说：“I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.”小明再打一次：“Hello! Is it Mrs. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友愤怒地说：“No, I told you already, you have the wrong number!”小明再打一次：“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友非常生气：“I can’t believe you called me again! This is not Mr. Brown’s residence!”小明笑着说：“I know, but I just love hearing you say it!”笑话3：父亲的损失小明的父亲对他说：“小明，你知道我为什么戴假发吗？”小明好奇地问：“为什么呢？”父亲严肃地回答：“因为我是个有发言权的人。
”笑话4：天堂和地狱有一天，人们来到上帝面前询问天堂和地狱的存在。
他们问上帝：“天堂和地狱是什么样子的？”上帝微笑着回答：“我带你们去看一看。
”首先，上帝打开了通向地狱的门。
门一打开，他们看到里面是一个宴会厅，摆满了美食和饮料，但每个人手中都拿着又长又粗的筷子，无法把食物送入嘴中。
接着，上帝带着他们去了天堂。
天堂的门打开后，他们看到了和地狱一样的情景，宴会厅里也是美食和饮料满满，每个人同样手中拿着又长又粗的筷子。
但人们却高兴地吃得很满足，因为在天堂里，他们都学会了相互喂食。
笑话5：自动售货机小明走到一个自动售货机前，看见上面写着：“请用英语选择您要购买的商品。
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全（带翻译）
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全（带翻译）下面是编辑整理的英语小笑话，希望能让您捧腹大笑!英语小笑话【一】1、The Fish NetCan you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.翻译：鱼网你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。
把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
小女孩回答道。
2、律师和胳膊、宝马A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer", he whined."You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off"翻译：一个律师打开他的宝马车门，突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了，警察赶到现场，律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。
“警察同志，看看他们把我的车弄的”律师哀怨地说。
关于比较经典的英语笑话10条最短的英语笑话
关于比较经典的英语笑话10条最短的英语笑话关于比较经典的英语笑话篇1Patient:Doctor,IthinkIneedglae.Teller:Youcertainlydo!Thiiabank.病人：“医生，我想我得配副眼镜。
”银行职员：“你当然需要!这里是银行。
”关于比较经典的英语笑话篇2AnArmybratwaboatingabouthifathertoaNavybrat."Mydadianengineer.Hecandoeverything.DoyouknowtheAlp""Ye,"aidtheNavybrat."Mydadhabuiltthem."Thenthenavalkidpoke:"AnddoyouknowtheDeadSea""Ye.""It'mydadwho'killedit!"一个年轻的陆军士兵跟一个海军士兵吹牛，说他爸多么了不起。
“我爸是个工程师。
他什么都会。
你知道阿尔卑斯山么”“知道，”海军说“我爸建的。
”年轻的海军说：“那你知道死海么”“知道。
”“那可是我爸弄死的”关于比较经典的英语笑话篇3ThingHaveBeenOkay一切都正常一对年轻夫妇有个儿子，已经四岁了，还没有开口说话，他们对此深感焦虑。
Theytookhimtopecialit,butthedoctorfoundnothingwrongwithhim.他们带他去找专家诊治，但医生们总觉得他没有毛病。
Thenonemorningatbreakfattheboyuddenlyblurted,Mom,thetoatibur ned.后来有一天早上吃早餐时，那孩子突然开口了：妈妈，面包烤焦了。
Youtalked!Youtalked!Shoutedhimother.你说话了!你说话了!他母亲叫了起来。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短
20个英语笑话爆笑超短1.Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!2.I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.3.What did the grape say after the elephant sat on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.4.How does a penguin build its house?Igloos it together!5.Why don’t skeletons fight each other?They don’t have the guts!6.Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!7.Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!8.Why don’t eggs tell jokes?Because they might crack up!9.Why was the math book sad?Because it had too many problems!10.What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?An abdominal snowman!11.Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?It was two-tired!12.How does a cucumber become a pickle?It goes through a jarring experience!13.What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear!14.Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?Because he was always spotted!15.Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negativenumbers?He will stop at nothing to avoid them!16.Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?Because then they would be bagels!17.What kind of tree fits in your hand?A palm tree!18.Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?Because they taste funny!19.How do you organize a space party?You planet!20.Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!以上是20个英语笑话爆笑超短的集合。
英语搞笑笑话10篇_幽默笑话带翻译阅读
英语搞笑笑话10篇_幽默笑话带翻译阅读多阅读一些有趣的英语笑话，能激起我们阅读英语的兴趣，从而提高英语的阅读能力，今天店铺在这里为大家分享英语搞笑笑话10篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话篇一An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street with one foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said：“Good evening，professor.How are you? “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.”有一天，人们看见一个有名的心不在焉的老师在路上走，他的一只脚一直踏在街沟里，另一只脚踩在人行道上。
一个碰见他的学生说：“晚安，老师。
您怎么了?” “啊，”这位老师回答说：“我想我离开家的时候还挺好的，可是现在我不知道出了什么毛病。
我已经一瘸一拐走了半个小时了。
”英语搞笑笑话篇二It's His FaultBilly and Bobby were small boys.They were brothers，and they often had fights with each other. Last Saturday their mother said to them，“I'm going to cook our lunch now.Go out and play in the garden—and be goo d.” “Yes，Mummy，” the two boys answered，and they went out. They played in the garden for half an hour，and then Billy ran into the kitchen.“Mummy，” he said，“Bobby's broken a window in Mrs.Allen's house.” Mrs.Allen was one of their neighbors. “He's a bad boy，”his mother said.“How did he break it?” “I threw a stone at him，” Billy answered，“and he quickly moved down.”比利和波比都是小男孩。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏
20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏一些幽默的英语笑话，能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣，从而提高英语的阅读能力，今天店铺在这里为大家分享20个英语笑话爆笑超短，希望大家喜欢这些英语笑话!20个英语笑话爆笑超短篇一1.Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。
”“不要相信梦，亲爱的。
据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。
”妈妈答道。
“那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。
”汤姆说。
2.On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。
趣味英语笑话7篇
趣味英语笑话7篇下面是店铺整理的趣味英语笑话，欢迎大家阅读!趣味英语笑话：Coins in American Currency 美国的硬币There are 100 cents in a dollar. Coins come in the following denominations: $.01 or 1 cent (a penny,a cent, one cent), $.05 or 5 cents (a nickel, five cents),$.1 or 10 cents (a dime, ten cents), $.25 or 25 cents(a quarter, two bits, twenty-five cents), and $.50 or50 cents (a fifty-cent piece).Coins are called "change", "small change", or"silver" though they aren’t made of silver anymore.Coins are generally recognized by their size, butsomebody "goofed" on the dime, which is smaller than either a nickel or a penny. All the others are in size order.One more word for you: don’t hold out your hand with either bills or coins and expect someone to take the correct change from you. That cannot be done in any Western country.一美元中有一百美分。
英文爆笑笑话6篇
英文爆笑笑话6篇下面小编给大家整理的英文爆笑笑话六篇，希望大家会喜欢。
英文爆笑笑话一：Lose One Pound减掉一磅I complimented one of my co-workers on having lost ten pounds. However, I couldn't resist bragging that when I was 17, 1 weighed 225 pounds and today I tip the scales at 224. 1 added, "That's not bad for a man of my age."Overhearing this, a woman remarked, "You mean to say it took you all this time to lose one pound?"我称赞我的一个同事减肥10磅。
可是，我禁不住夸耀说我17岁时，体重225磅，而目前体重是224磅。
我还说：“这对我这样年龄的男子来说，是不错的。
”一个女子听到了这些话，她说道：“你是说你花了这么长时间才减了1磅?”英文爆笑笑话二：The doctor lives downstairs医生住在楼下"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。
经典英语笑话8篇
经典英语笑话8篇下面是店铺整理的一些经典英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助。
经典英语笑话：A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。
他喝了一口放下。
当他环视酒吧时，发现一只猴子荡下来，在他阻止之前，偷走了啤酒。
该男子问酒吧招待，这只猴子是谁的。
服务员回答说是钢琴手的。
男子走到钢琴手面前问：“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒吗?”钢琴手回答说：“没有，但是如果你能哼唱，我会为你演奏的。
”经典英语笑话：Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. "Don't you ever look at the speedometer?" the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. "As fast as I was going," I admitted, "I was afraid to take my eyes off the road."因为旅行推销员为了谋生需要拜访尽量多的客户，所以超速飞车赶场对于他们来说也不是没有过的事情。
英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译
英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，以供大家学习参考。
英语搞笑笑话：传教士买鹦鹉A preacher is buying a parrotA preacher is buying a parrot.一个传教士在买鹦鹉。
"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。
"Oh absolutely. He's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.“噢，绝对不会。
它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。
”店主向他保证。
"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."“你看见它腿上的那些细绳了吗?当你拉动右边这根，它会背诵天主经;当你拉动左边那根，它会背诵赞美诗。
”"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"“太棒了!”传教士说，“但是如果我同时拉动两根绳子，会发生什么呢?”"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.“我会从树干上掉下去，你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。
英语搞笑笑话：谁才是有色人种Dear white, something you got to know亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。
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经典趣味英语笑话
太黑了，看不见
After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if
the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is
so dark that I cannot see it at all."
晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
”
经典趣味英语：One real man
The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives. He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely(严格地，
严厉地).
Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel(劝告，建议) to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.
It's good to see, said the king, that we have one real man in the kingdom. Tell these chickenhearted(胆小的) dunces(傻瓜) why you alone among them stand on the right side
of the hall.
Your Majesty, came the reply in a squealing voice, it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.
一个真正的男子汉
古代有一个国王，他想证明他领土内的男人并非像人们传说的那样，受到老婆的管制。
他把王国里所有的男人都召到跟前，警告说，哪个男人胆敢不说实话，就会受到严厉的惩罚。
然后，他叫所有听从妻子的命令和意见的男人都走向大厅的左侧。
所有的男人都站到了左侧，只有一个小个子男人站到了右侧。
国王说：看到我们国家里还有一个真正的男子汉，真是令人高兴。
告诉这些胆小的笨蛋，为什么在他们当中只有你一个人站在大厅的右侧。
陛下，那人尖声地回答：因为在我出门之前，我老婆告诉我不要扎堆。
经典趣味英语笑话：万能的圣诞老人并非啥都知道
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
一个女孩爬到圣诞老人的膝盖上，圣诞老人例行公事的问：“今年圣诞节你想要什么呢?”
孩子瞪大眼睛惊讶的望着圣诞老人一分钟都没讲话，然后喘着气说到：“你没收到我
的电子邮件吗?(我想要什么都写上面了，万能的圣诞老人咋能不知道捏)”
借公牛一用
Once upon a time, there lived a rich man, but he didn't know any words.
One day, one of his friends wanted to borrow an ox from him, so he wrote a note and asked his servant to take it to this rich man.
After the servant gave the note to the rich man, he pretended to be reading it and after a while, he said, "OK, I know. Go and tell your master, I'll go myself shortly.
从前，有个人很富有，但他不识字。
一天，他的一位朋友想向他借一头公牛，便写了个条，让仆人送到富人那里。
仆人
把条子给了富人。
富人便假装看了一会儿，然后说道：“好啦，我知道了。
回去告诉你的
主人，我马上自己过去。
”
What Color什么颜色
An impoverished graduate student at Clemson University in South Carolina, I was excited when my father informed me that he had bought me a car. Hardly able to contain my enthusiasm, I asked Dad the typical questions: "What kind is it? Does it have a stick shift? Does it have a tape deck?"
"It's a 1982 Toyota," he replied. "It's a four speed, and, yes, it has a tape deck . " Pleased, I asked what color it was.
"Well, " he said uncomfortably, " which part?"
作为南卡罗莱那州克莱姆森大学的一个本科生，我囊中羞涩，当我父亲告诉我他为我买了辆车时，我甚是激动。
我几乎控制不住我的热情，问了爸爸几个关键问题：“什么车?有没有手排挡?有没有磁带舱?”
“是1982年产丰田车，”他回答说，“四速，还有，是的，有磁带舱。
”我甚是高兴，又问是什么颜色的。
“哦，”他很不舒服地说，“你指哪一部分?”。