新梁祝外传

英语搞笑话剧《梁祝歪传》（搞笑中学生英语小品剧本）
人物：梁山伯祝英台马文才英母英父
第一场景：祝英台依依不舍梁山伯挥泪惜别
背景音乐上海滩梁山伯上场
梁：Where is my Yingtai
(此时，背景音乐少女时代的Gee 祝英台上场彰显笑点英台请注意表演) 梁: Yingtai ，I love you so much and I’ll miss you so much.
祝: I love you, too! Don’t worry.BoBo, I on ly love you in this world. I’ll marry you as soon as I’m back. Wait for me just for two years.
梁: I’ll kiss you across the Pacific Ocean.
祝: I’ll kiss you from the other side. Wait for me. BoBo, this time I really should be going.
(依依不舍背景音乐响起不见不散两人分别逐步后退)
第二场景：英母喜爱马文才英父痛批贪婪心
英母：darling darling。

（拉住英父）
英父：( 怒气转身) No matter what you Say, it is useless. The child's wedding could not be so hasty.
英母：but darling ,Mawencai was so cool and so rich, There is no doubt that this is matched for marriage. An d……..(被英父打断)
英父：I told you many times, we could not decide yingtai’s wedding.
英母：darling….The Furthest Distance in The World Is not between life and death .But when I stand in front of you, yet you do not know he is so handsome. The furthest distance in the world is not between poor and rich, but when he stands in front of you, yet you can not see his love to yingtai.
英父：Oh, honey, you are so knowledgeable, 哼哼，give me a kiss，give me a kiss.
英母：嘘……..look, too many people…作害羞状
英父：easy…拿雨伞挡住然后Kissing
第三场景：马文才志疏学浅舍重金英父母笑纳彩礼嫁爱女
（马文才上，拿折扇）
马：I love yingtai so much. I hope I can make it.
马：aunt……(注意回音效果)
英母：文才……(注意回音效果) 马：哎……
英母：oh，That was you，come in ，sit down please!
马：aunt, I love yingtai so much，you know . here are my gifts，100 bottles of 国窖1573 .
马：喝了1573，腿也不疼了，腰也不酸了，一口气能上三楼了，一瓶顶过去五瓶
马: 他好，我也好（整个广告过程面向观众，突出效果）
母：What else?
马：three Benz and a big house in the seaside and so on .I hope you will like them!
母：there is no doubt that yingtai must be yours , you are so handsome.
父：NO way ! (大怒指着马) 马：that’s why?
英父：I will ask you some questions ,listen ….马：OK
英父：Do you know who is张国荣, who is张曼玉,
马：I don’t know.
英父：do you know who is 科比布莱恩特, who is姚明
马：I don’t know.
英父：Do you know 黄岩岛and 钓鱼岛belong to China
马：I don’t know.
英父：Do you see yourself? you look like a pig who know nothing? （转向英母）You ask me to Take yingtai to marry him how I can trust him ?
英母：I have no words.
马：but aunt have accepted my 3 million dollars and gifts.
父：money ？You think money can buy everything?True love is priceless！Only 3 m illion dollar…. only 3 million dollar…. only 3 million dollar…. （逐渐反应过味来）OK OK You give me 3 million dollar and yingtai belongs to you 把女儿拉过来，推给马文才（注意背景音乐陶喆今天你要嫁给我）
马：Oh,娘子……
第四场景：祝英台越洋提分手梁山伯闻此怒结怨
电话铃声响
梁: Oh, honey, I miss you so much, miss you every minute every second. Oh my dear. Are you listening to me?
祝: Listen, Liang Shanbo. I’m calling to tell you that I loved you. But I think you’d better find a better girl.
梁: What? Pardon?
祝: Because I’ll get married. My parents had taken me to marry Ma Wencai He is so handsome, just like 刘德华. So rich, even richer than比尔盖茨. And he is good at 葵花宝典。

I love his money and I love his body.(此时马文才注意表演)
梁: What are you talking about? You wait and see. I’ll give you some color see see（给你点颜色看看）.
祝：shanbo, If life deceives(欺骗) you, don't be sad, don't be impatient! believe me. everything will pass,and all these things will become a kind of memory.
梁：FUCK you, the sun of beach(脏话). I’ll kill you! I will kill you in America!
祝: America? Shit (脏话), You can come to America? Hahahaha大笑your English is so terrible
第五场景：马文才一副空皮囊梁山伯抱得美人归（梁山伯飞往美国）旁： a year later,liangshanbo found zhuyingtai in American
梁: Zhu Yingtai, long time no see, do you still know that who I am. I’m here to kill you.
祝: Liangshanbo. Oh, Wencai. He is crazy. He will kill me.祝英台拉着马文才马: You! Get out of here.
梁: You! Get out of here! 背景音乐儿歌找朋友梁马二人表演有待商量
马：流氓会武术，谁也挡不住
梁：流氓没文化
马：我可是有大学本科学历的………流氓……
梁：这年头没有博士文凭也敢出来耍流氓（梁扔掉扇子，拿出枪）
马：Oh,wait please,(接电话) Hello ,I am Wencai , OK ,OK , I will get there now
祝: Please don’t go. Just stay, please. He’ll kill me.
马: I know! But if I stay, he’ll kill me by the way..
祝: You told me you were good at 葵花宝典
马: Sorry, I’m not good at 葵花宝典. I’m just good at 新华字典
梁：想走…..It is not so easy（开枪）
马文才搞笑吐血
祝: Oh, you are a big liar. Just get out of here!! (to Liang Shanbo) Oh, darling, will you kill me? 动作声音妩媚些妩媚些眨眼睛
梁: Yes, I have to. Because I hate you more than I can say.
祝: When we were young, you said you will love me for ever. Don’t kill me, ok? BOBO.
梁: No wa y! Wherever you go, whatever you say, I’ll kill you. I only know I was born to love you or to kill you. Now I can’t love you, the only choice is to kill you.
祝: Please believe in me, you know I love you. I love you just like老鼠爱大米. I want to marry you.
梁: Really?
祝: Oh, of course.
梁：Once upon a time, there was a true love in front of me, I didn’t cherish it. If I was to meet her again, I wish to say I love you. If you would ask me how long I would love her, I would say ten thousand years!如果，非要在这份爱上加一个期限，我希望是……一万年！
祝：Oh, honey… 此时两人相拥配合音乐
背景音乐响起爱你一万年全剧终
4人英文小品剧本《新梁祝外传》（梁祝超级搞笑校园小品剧本）
声明：本剧本由网络收集整理，版权归原作者所有！
L:梁山伯Z:祝英台M:马文才旁：旁白
旁：话说梁山伯和祝英台三年前一同来到刚刚成立的武汉新东方书院学习英语。

梁山伯酷爱口语师从口语老师邓大付学习美国口语，尤其擅长模仿马丁•路德•金的演讲。

（旁白暂停，邓英文“I have a dream ”）。

祝英台一心梦想出国，梦想有朝一日成为BBC主持人（旁白暂停，祝英文“this is BBC….）最终祝英台以托福和GRE高分的成绩被哥伦比亚大学录取。

在祝英台临走的那一天，梁山伯十八里相送在天河机场与祝英台缠绵告别。

L: Yingtai ，I love you so much and I’ll miss you so much.！
Z: I love you, too! Don’t worry.Shanbo I only love you in this wild world. I’ll marry you as soon as I’m back. Wait for me just for two years.
L: I’ll kiss you across the Pacific Ocean.
Z: I’ll kiss you from the other side. Wait for me. BoBo
旁：一周以后，祝英台从美国打来越洋电话。

L: Oh, Sweetie, Yintai I miss you so much, miss you every minute every second. Oh my dear. Are you listening to me?
Z: Listen, Liang Shanbo. I’m calling to tell you that I loved you. But I think you’d better find a better girl.
L: What? Pardon?
Z: Because I’ll get married.L: Married ? to who?
Z: To 英俊潇洒风流倜傥玉树临风的Ma Wencai.. He is so handsome. So rich, even richer than Yu Minhong. And he is good at 葵花宝典。

I love his money and I love his body.
L: What are you talking about? You wait and see. I’ll give you some color to see see. I’ll kill you! I will kil l you in America!
Z: America? You can come to America? Hahahaha
旁：祝英台的无端背叛深深伤害了梁山伯脆弱的心灵，他发下毒誓：不杀祝英台誓不为人。

于是重新来到新东方书院学习托福和ＧＲＥ。

当然他没有忘记用老生证可以优惠20块钱。

为了能飞越重洋去杀掉祝英台，他每天提醒自己有一个梦想。

I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and lives out the true meaning of its creed:We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all men are created equal. I have a dream that one day I will kill Zhu Yingtai right in America. It is a dream that deeply rooted in my heart. In my heart.
旁：一年之后，梁山伯也来到了美国，四处寻找祝英台的下落。

终于在纽约街头找到他当年的爱人祝英台，而她正和马文才卿卿我我。

L: Zhu Yingtai, long time no see, huh? Who am I ? I’m Liang Shanbo. I’m here to kill you.
Z: Liang….shanbo. Oh, Wencai. He is crazy. He will kill me.
M: You! Get out of here.
L: You! Get out of here!
M: 电话来了。

Hello, I’m in wuhan. Ok ok I’ll come right now
Z: Please don’t go. Just stay, please. He’ll kill me.
M: I know! But if I stay, he’ll kill me by the way..
Z: You told me you were good at 葵花宝典?
M: Sorry, I’m not good at 葵花宝典. I’m just good at 新华字典。

Z: Oh, you liar. Just get out of here!! (to Liang Shanbo) Oh, darling, you must kill
me?
L: Yes, I have to. Because I hate you more than I can say.
Z: (sing)When we were young, we listened to the MP3, you said you’d love me forever. Don’t kill me, ok? Shanbo. I qiu qiu ni..
L: No door! (sing) Where you go, whatever you say, I’ll be right here killing you. I only know I was born to love you or to kill you. Now I can’t love you, the only choice is to kill you.
Z: 曾经Once upon a time, there was a true love in front of me, I didn’t cherish it. If I was to meet him again, I wish to say I love you. If you would ask me how long I would love him, I should say ten thousand years. That man is you The only man I love in this wild world is you. Only you.(sing)
L: The only woman I want to kill is on-ly you!!
Z: Please, you know I love you. I love you just like laoshu ai dami. I want to marry you.
L: hehehe Really?
Z: Oh, of course. Please don’t kill me!!!!
L: To kill or not to kill is a question. I don’t know. Who can tell me? I put her life in your hands. Everybody here, please tell me kill or not kill?
(to kill)
L: You hear this. I ‘m sorry. But don’t worry , I’ll go to heaven together with you. Z: All right kill me, then we’ll become two butterflies in the beautiful garden(sing) (sing)
Z: 亲爱的你别杀我，杀了我你也没有好结果
L：亲爱的我也不想杀可是大家非得要我杀。