新视野大学英语读写教程(第二版)第一册课文原文

新视野大学英语读写教程(第二版)第一册课文原文
Unit 1
Learning a Foreign Language
Learning a foreign language was one of the most difficult yet most rewarding experiences of my life. Although at times, learning a language was frustrating, it was well worth the effort.
My experience with a foreign language began in junior middle school, when I took my first English class. I had a kind and patient teacher who often praised all of the students. Because of this positive method, I eagerly answered all the questions I could, never worrying much about making mistakes. I was at the top of my class for two years.
When I went to senior middle school, I was eager to continue studying English; however, my experience in senior school was very different from before. While my former teacher had been patient with all the students, my new teacher quickly punished those who gave incorrect answers. Whenever we answered incorrectly, she pointed a long stick at us and, shaking it up and down, shouted, "No! No! No!" It didn't take me long to lose my eagerness to answer questions. Not only did I lose my joy in answering questions, but also I totally lost my desire to say anything at all in English.
However, that state didn't last long. When I went to college, I learned that all students were required to take an English course. Unlike my senior middle school teacher, my college English teachers were patient and kind, and none of them carried long, pointed sticks! However, the situation was far from perfect. As our classes were very large, I was only able to answer a couple of questions in each class period. Also, after a few weeks of classes, I noticed there were many students who spoke much better than I did. I began to feel intimidated. So, once again, although for different reasons, I was afraid to speak. It seemed my English was going to stay at the same level forever.
That was the situation until a couple of years later, when I was offered an opportunity to study English through an online course. The communication medium was a computer, phone line, and modem. I soon got access to the necessary equipment, learned the technology from a friend and participated in the virtual classroom 5 to 7 days a week.
Online learning is not easier than regular classroom study; it requires much time, commitment and discipline to keep up with the flow of the course. I worked hard to meet the minimum standards set by the course and to complete assignments on time.
I practiced all the time. I carried a little dictionary with me everywhere I went, as well as a notebook in which I listed any new words I heard. I made many, sometimes embarrassing, mistakes. Once in a while I cried with frustration, and sometimes I felt like giving up. But I didn't feel intimidated by students who spoke faster than I did because I took all the time I needed to think out my ideas and wrote a reply before posting it on the screen. Then, one day I realized I could understand just about everything I came across, and most importantly, I could "say" anything I wanted to in English. Although I still made many mistakes and was continually learning, I had finally reaped the benefits of all that hard work.
Learning a foreign language has been a most trying experience for me, but one that I wouldn't trade for anything. Not only did learning another language teach me the value of hard work, but it also gave me insights into another culture, and my mind was opened to new ways of seeing things. The most wonderful result of having learned a foreign language was that I could communicate with many more people than before. Talking with people is one of my favorite activities, so being able to speak a new language lets me meet new people, participate in conversations, and form new, unforgettable friendships. Now that I speak a foreign language, instead of staring into space when English is being spoken, I can participate and make friends. I am able to reach out to others and bridge the gap between my language and culture and theirs.
学习外语是我一生中最艰苦也是最有意义的经历之一。

虽然时常遭遇挫折，但却非常有价值。

我学外语的经历始于初中的第一堂英语课。

老师很慈祥耐心，时常表扬学生。

由于这种积极的教学方法，我踊跃回答各种问题，从不怕答错。

两年中，我的成绩一直名列前茅。

到了高中后，我渴望继续学习英语。

然而，高中时的经历与以前大不相同。

以前，老师对所有的学生都很耐心，而新老师则总是惩罚答错的学生。

每当有谁回答错了，她就会用长教鞭指着我们，上下挥舞大喊：“错！错！错！”没有多久，我便不再渴望回答问题了。

我不仅失去了回答问题的乐趣，而且根本就不想再用英语说半个字。

好在这种情况没持续多久。

到了大学，我了解到所有学生必须上英语课。

与高中老师不同，大学英语老师非常耐心和蔼，而且从来不带教鞭！不过情况却远不尽如人意。

由于班大，每堂课能轮到我回答的问题寥寥无几。

上了几周课后，我还发现许多同学的英语说得比我要好得多。

我开始产生一种畏惧感。

虽然原因与高中时不同，但我却又一次不敢开口了。

看来我的英语水平要永远停步不前了。

直到几年后我有机会参加远程英语课程，情况才有所改善。

这种课程的媒介是一台电脑、一条电话线和一个调制解调器。

我很快配齐了必要的设备并跟一个朋友学会了电脑操作技术，于是我每周用5到7天在网上的虚拟课堂里学习英语。

网上学习并不比普通的课堂学习容易。

它需要花许多的时间，需要学习者专心自律，以跟上课程进度。

我尽力达到课程的最低要求，并按时完成作业。

我随时随地都在学习。

不管去哪里，我都随身携带一本袖珍字典和笔记本，笔记本上记着我遇到的生词。

我学习中出过许多错，有时是令人尴尬的错误。

有时我会因挫折而哭泣，有时甚至想放弃。

但我从未因别的同学英语说得比我快而感到畏惧，因为在电脑屏幕上作出回答之前，我可以根据自己的需要花时间去琢磨自己的想法。

突然有一天我发现自己什么都懂了，更重要的是，我说起英语来灵活自如。

尽管我还是常常出错，还有很多东西要学，但我已尝到了刻苦学习的甜头。

学习外语对我来说是非常艰辛的经历，但它又无比珍贵。

它不仅使我懂得了艰苦努力的意义，而且让我了解了不同的文化，让我以一种全新的思维去看待事物。

学习一门外语最令人兴奋的收获是我能与更多的人交流。

与人交谈是我最喜欢的一项活动，新的语言使我能与陌生人交往，参与他们的谈话，并建立新的难以忘怀的友谊。

由于我已能说英语，别人讲英语时我不再茫然不解了。

我能够参与其中，并结交朋友。

我能与人交流，并能够弥合我所说的语言和所处的文化与他们的语言和文化之间的鸿沟。

Keys to Successful Online Learning
While regular schools still exist, the virtual classroom plays an important role in today's learning community. Job opportunities for students are expanding rapidly and more people of all ages are becoming aware of online learning that allows them to study at home. Online students, however, require unique qualities to be successful. The following list discusses some ideal qualities of successful online students.
1. Be open-minded about sharing life, work, and learning experiences as part of online learning.
Many different people find that the online method requires them to use their experiences and that online learning offers them a place to communicate with each other. This forum for communication removes the visual barriers that hinder some students from expressing themselves. In addition, students are given time to reflect on the information before replying. In this way, students can help to keep the online environment open and friendly.
2. Be able to communicate through writing.
In the virtual classroom nearly all communication is written, so it is critical that students feel comfortable expressing themselves in writing. Some students have limited writing abilities which need to be improved before or as part of the online experience. This usually requires extra commitment by these students. Whether working alone or in a group, students share ideas, perspectives and discussions on the subject being studied, and read about those of their classmates. In this way, students gain great insight from their peers, learning from each other as well as the instructor.
3. Be willing to "speak up" if problems arise.
Remember that instructors cannot see their students in an online course. This means students must be absolutely explicit with their comments and requests. If they experience technical difficulties, or problems in
understanding something about the course, they MUST speak up; otherwise there is no way anyone can know something is wrong. If one person does not understand something, possibly several others have the same problem. If another student is able to help, she/he probably will. While explaining something to others, students reinforce their own knowledge about the subject.
4. Take the program seriously.
Online learning is not easier than study in regular classrooms. In fact, many students say it requires much more time and effort. Requirements for online courses are not less than those of any quality program. Successful students, however, see online learning as a convenient way to receive their education — not an easier way. Many online students sit at computers for hours at a time during evenings and on weekends in order to complete their assignments. When other people are finished and having fun is most likely the time when online students do their course work. Online students need to commit 4 to 15 hours a week for each course.
5. Accept critical thinking and decision making as part of online learning.
Online courses require students to make decisions based on facts as well as experience. It is absolutely necessary for students to assimilate information and make the right decisions based on critical thinking. In a positive online environment, students feel valued by the instructor, by their classmates and by their own work.
6. Be able to think ideas through before replying.
Providing meaningful and quality input into the virtual classroom is an essential part of online learning. Time is given to allow for careful development of answers. Testing and challenging of ideas is encouraged. Many times online students will not always be right; they just need to be prepared to accept a challenge.
7. Keep up with the progress of the course.
Online learning is normally sequential and requires commitment on the students' part. Keeping up with the face-to-face class and completing all work on time is vital. Once students get behind, it is almost impossible to catch up. Students need to want to be there and need to want the experience. The instructor may have to communicate with students personally to offer help and remind them of the need to keep up.
Just as many excellent instructors may not be effective online facilitators, not all students have the necessary qualities to perform well online. People who have the qualities discussed above usually make very successful online students. If you have these qualities, learning online may be one of the best discoveries you will ever make.
虽然常规的学校依然存在，但虚拟课堂在今天的教学领域中起着重要的作用。

随着学生就业机会的迅速增多，越来越多不同年龄层的人开始意识到这种在家就学的网上学习方式。

然而，网络学生需要具备一些特别的素质才能取得成功。

以下是网上学生要取得成功必备的一些理想素质。

1.与人分享生活、工作及学习经验，这些是网上学习的一部分。

许多人发现网上学习需要他们运用各自的经验，同时又为他们提供了相互交流的场所。

这一交流场所消除了一些学生自我表达的视觉障碍。

此外，学生在答题之前有时间进行思考，这就使得网上环境开放而友好。

2. 能通过书写进行交流。

虚拟课堂的交流几乎都是书面形式。

因而很重要的一点是学生要具有书面表达能力。

有些学生书面表达能力差，有待提高，可以在网上学习之前提高或将其作为网上学习的一部分。

这常常需要他们加倍努力。

不管是单独学习还是小组学习，学生们就学习内容交流观点和见解，并展开讨论，同时了解其他同学的意见。

这样，学生可以从同龄人那里得到启发，既跟老师学，又互相学习。

3. 说出你的困难。

记住，虚拟课堂里老师看不见学生。

这就意味学生必须直接明了地表达自己的看法和要求。

如果碰到技术方面的问题，或在理解课程中遇到困难，必须大胆说出来，否则任何人都无从知晓问题所在。

如果某人不理解某个问题，或许别人也有同样的问题。

如果有哪个学生能解决，他(她)也许就会帮助你。

学生在给他人解释问题时，自己对该问题的认识也加深了。

4. 认真对待课程。

网上学习并不比课堂学习容易。

事实上，许多学生说它需要花更多的时间和努力。

网络课程的要求不低于其他任何一种优质课程。

然而，取得成功的学生认为网上学习是一种便捷的受教育方式，但并不容易。

晚上或周末，为了完成作业，许多网络学生在电脑前一坐就是几个小时。

别人已完成作业和学习，开始玩耍，而此时网络学生却很可能还在上课。

他们每门课程每周要上4到15小时。

5. 把批判性思维和决策作为网上学习的一部分。

网络课程要求学生根据事实和经验做出决定。

对学生来讲，理解并消化信息，并通过批判性思维做出正确的决定是十分必要的。

在积极的网络环境中，学生从老师、同学那里感受到自己的价值，对自己的学习也感到满意。

6. 三思而后答。

在虚拟课堂上做出有意义、高质量的回答是网上学习的重要部分。

要花时间斟酌并仔细作答，提倡对不同观点进行验证和质疑。

网络学生往往并不总是对的；他们应做好准备，迎接挑战。

7. 跟上课程进度。

网上学习通常是循序渐进的，要求学生专心投入。

与网络课程保持同步，并按时完成所有功课至关重要。

一旦落后就很难赶上。

学生要有成功的欲望，而且也要渴望这种经历。

老师可能会与学生面对面交流，提供帮助并提醒他们跟上进度的必要性。

正如许多优秀教师并不能有效地用网络辅助教学一样，并不是所有学生都具备在网上学习中取得成功所需的素质。

具备上述素质的人通常能够成为优秀的网络学生。

一旦拥有这些素质，网上学习说不定将是你最有价值的发现之一。

Unit 2
Deep Concern
The radio clicked on. Rock music blasted forth. Like a shot, the music woke Sandy. She looked at the clock; it was 6:15 A.M. Sandy sang along with the words as she lay listening to her favorite radio station.
"Sandy," shouted her father. "Sandy, turn that music off!" Steve Finch burst into her room. "Why do you have to listen to such horrible stuff? It's the same thing over and over. I'm not sure it is really music, though it does have rhythm."
"I like that music, Dad; it's my favorite. Listen for a minute; I'm sure you'll like it." Sandy reached for the radio to turn it up louder.
"No, no, don't do that. I can't stand it. Turn that radio down so your mother and I can't hear it. I'm sure that music is hurting your ears as well as your brain."
Sandy walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Then she grabbed the soap and washed thoroughly, including her hair.
After her shower, Sandy brushed her hair, put on her old, green T-shirt and some jeans. Then she put on her makeup and went to the kitchen. As usual, she didn't know what to have for breakfast, so she grabbed a glass of milk and ate a piece of toast while standing by the sink. Just then, her mother, Jane, entered the kitchen.
"Sandy, why don't you sit down and eat your breakfast? It isn't healthy to eat standing up."
"I know, Mom, but I don't have time to sit down and eat."
"Did you finish your homework, dear?"
"Yes."
"Did you brush your teeth?"
"Mom, I haven't finished eating breakfast yet. I'll brush my teeth when I'm done."
"Sandy, why are you wearing that old T-shirt? It's disgusting."
"Mom, please stop."
"Stop what, dear?"
"Stop bugging me."
"Sandy, are you wearing eyeliner?"
"Yes, Mom, I've been wearing eyeliner for months. Isn't it pretty? "
"Sandy Finch, you're too young to wear that much makeup."
"Mom, I'm fifteen. I'm old enough to wear makeup. Believe me, all the girls at school wear makeup. Some have tattoos and pierced ears, and noses and tongues, too. Mom, I don't have time to talk about this now—I'm late. I've got to go. See you later." Sandy kissed her mother quickly on the cheek, picked up her books, and bolted out of the house.
After Sandy had left for school, Jane Finch sat down in peace and quiet to drink her coffee. Soon her husband joined her.
"Would you like some coffee, Steve?" asked Jane.
"No, thanks, honey. My stomach feels upset—like it's full of knots. It's probably that awful music that wakes me up every morning. I don't think I'm old-fashioned, but hearing those tuneless, offensive lyrics repeatedly makes my blood boil."
"You know, honey, different music appeals to different generations," reasoned Jane. "Remember some of the music we listened to?"
Steve smiled. "You're right. Maybe eating breakfast will help me get rid of some of the knots in my stomach."
"Did you notice how much makeup our fifteen-year-old daughter was wearing this morning? I can't believe I didn't notice. I suppose we should feel lucky because makeup is our biggest problem with her. I've seen other teenagers walking around town with tattoos and piercings all over their bodies."
"What worries me," said Steve, "is that music could have a negative influence on Sandy. I don't know what's happening to our little girl. She's changing and I'm concerned about her. Makeup, terrible music—who knows what will be next? We need to have a talk with her. The news is full of stories about teenagers in trouble whose parents hardly know anything about their problems."
"Oh, I don't think her music is so terrible. But in any case, you're right. We need to have a talk with Sandy," said Jane.
As Jane Finch drove to work, she thought about her Sandy. She knew what she wanted to say, what she had to say to Sandy. She was so glad that she and Sandy could still talk things over. She knew she had to have patience and keep the lines of communication with her daughter open. She wanted to be there as an anchor for her, but at the same time she would give her freedom to find her own identity.
收音机“咔嗒”一声，摇滚乐就大声地响开了。

音乐像枪声似的将桑迪吵醒。

她看了一下钟，早上6点一刻。

她躺在床上，听着她喜欢的电台广播，嘴里哼着歌词。

“桑迪，” 她父亲喊道，“桑迪，把音乐关了！”史蒂夫·芬奇冲进她的卧室。

“你为什么一定要听这么糟糕的音乐？还听了一遍又一遍。

虽然有节奏，可恐怕不是真正的音乐。

”
“我喜欢这种音乐，爸爸。

这是我最喜欢的。

您听一下吧，您肯定会喜欢的。

” 桑迪伸手把音乐开得更响。

“别，别开那么响，我受不了。

把收音机音量调低点，这样我和你妈妈就听不到了。

我敢肯定，那音乐既伤你的耳朵，又伤你的大脑。

”
桑迪走进浴室，打开淋浴喷头。

然后她抓起香皂，浑身上下洗个遍，连头发也洗了。

淋浴后，桑迪梳了梳头发，穿上一件旧的绿色圆领衫和一条牛仔裤。

接着她化好妆，走进了厨房。

和往常一样，她不知道早餐该吃什么，便抓了杯牛奶，站在洗涤槽旁吃烤面包。

就在此时，她妈妈简走进了厨房。

“桑迪，你怎么不坐下吃饭？站着吃饭对身体不好。

”“我知道，妈妈，可我没时间坐着吃。

”“昨天做作业了吧，宝贝？”
“做了。

”
“刷过牙了？”
“妈妈，我还没吃完饭呢。

吃完了再刷。

”
“桑迪，你怎么穿那件旧圆领衫呢？难看死了。

”
“妈妈，请别这样。

”
“别怎么样？”
“别这样烦我。

”
“桑迪，你怎么描起眼线来了？”
“我是描了，妈妈。

我都描了几个月了。

难道不漂亮？”
“桑迪·芬奇，你还小，不能化这么浓的妆。

”
“妈妈，我都15岁了，到了可以化妆的年龄了。

给您说实话吧，学校的女孩子都化妆，有些还文身，有的还戴耳环、鼻环、舌环呢。

妈妈，我现在没时间给您说，我快迟到了，得走了。

再见。

”
桑迪匆匆吻了一下妈妈的脸颊，拿起书冲出了屋子。

桑迪离家上学后，简·芬奇平静地坐下来喝咖啡。

没过一会儿，她丈夫走了进来。

“史蒂夫，喝点咖啡吧？”简问道。

“不，谢谢，亲爱的。

我胃不舒服，心乱如麻。

可能是因为那讨厌的音乐每天早上把我吵醒。

我想我还不至于老得落伍吧，可没完没了地听那毫无韵律、令人讨厌的歌曲实在让我生气。

”
“你知道，亲爱的，不同年龄的人喜欢不同的音乐，” 简劝说道。

“还记得我们听过的一些音乐吗？”
史蒂夫笑了，“你说得有道理。

也许吃点早饭能让我感觉好一点。

”
“你注意到了吗，今天早晨我们15岁的女儿都化了什么样的妆？我真不敢相信自己以前没有注意到。

我想我们应该感到幸运，因为我们女儿的最大问题还只是化妆。

我看到其他年轻人在镇上游手好闲，还文身，浑身穿了许多洞。

”
“令我担心的是，”史蒂夫说，“那种音乐对桑迪可能有负面的影响。

我不知道我们的女儿到底怎么回事。

她在变，我很担心她。

化妆品，糟糕的音乐，谁知道以后还会有什么花样？我们得和她谈谈。

新闻里报道的尽是惹上麻烦的青少年，可他们的父母却不知道自己的孩子有什么问题。

”
“哦，我倒不认为她的音乐如此糟糕。

但不管怎么说，你还是说得对，我们需要和桑迪谈谈，” 简说道。

去上班的路上，简·芬奇一面开着车，一面想着她的桑迪。

她知道自己想说什么，得对桑迪说什么。

她和桑迪之间还可以进行交流，这令她很高兴。

她知道自己得有耐心，得保持自己和桑迪之间沟通的渠道畅通。

她想在桑迪的身边，做她的保护人，同时又给她寻找自我的自由。

Is There a Generation Gap?
The term "generation gap" was coined in the 1960s. One concept of the generation gap is that parents and children have different values and beliefs. As a result, many parents fear that peer opinions will become more highly valued and that they in turn will lose influence. Although the term continues to be used often, some people are beginning to ask the question, "Is there a generation gap in today's society?"
One study compared four generations, aged 18-30, 31-48, 49-62, and 63 and over. Several questions were asked to tap into basic beliefs and values, such as "Hard work is the key to getting ahead" and "America is the very best place in the world to live in". Across the generations, there was great consistency in the responses.
Many studies on youth also refute the concept of a generation gap. These studies show that while young people tend to value their peers' evaluations over parents' on things like music, clothing and what's "cool", they continue to look to parents for basic values and guidance in the more important areas of life, such as career and lifetime goals.
Of course, general trends can't always be applied to individual cases. It is natural to feel like there is an uncomfortable "gap" between our teens and us and that there is a need to bridge it. Perhaps, though, the problem does not lie in a difference of opinions or values, but in the way we relate to and communicate with each other. Here are some tips from an article entitled "Bridging the Generation Gap" that might help.
Show respect. An attitude of respect and trust can be contagious. Young people tend to see themselves the way their parents see them. In turn, they gain self-confidence and respect for themselves when you show that you respect their ability to make decisions and learn from their mistakes.
Listen more than you talk. Questioning can sound like interrogation. Instead, adopt an attitude of curiosity rather than control. Ask questions like "How so?" "What do you think now?" "Were you surprised?" "What will you do now?" "What's your plan?" "Is this something you want help with?" If your object is only to listen, you should be careful not to be preparing your response while your teen is still talking. You'll hear better that way, and they will be encouraged to talk more.
Ask whether your child wants to hear it before sharing your point of view. Only go on if they say "yes". Then be brief. Don't lecture, and don't expect them to agree with you. If you state your case with a "This is what makes sense to me" attitude as opposed to "This is the right way to see things", he or she can listen more openly instead of planning rebellion.
Think "we" instead of "you". "We have chores to do before we leave the house; how can we take care of what needs to be done?" Any way you can get across the message "We're in this together" can help bridge gaps that conflicts might otherwise create.
Keep calm. You can easily destroy your credibility by getting angry or too excited during a conversation. Instead of "You're ruining your life!", say "I'm concerned about what might happen if..." "What do you think you might do in a situation like that?"
Don't apply double standards. Teenagers pay close attention to double standards. Don't expect them to follow rules you don't follow yourself. Whether it's about checking in by the phone, putting things away or drinking out of the milk carton, "Do as I say and not as I do" will not improve the relationship.
Admit your own mistakes and talk about what you are learning from them. Showing self-acceptance and tolerance for imperfection is very encouraging to teenagers (as well as other people around you) and tends to make you easier to approach with questions, regrets and challenges. Apologize when you think you had done or said something differently, like losing your cool or saying something hurtful during an argument.
Enjoy them. The humor, energy and sense of possibility teenagers often have can awaken parents to positive sides of themselves they had forgotten or neglected. When teens experience being liked, they usually act more likeable.
“代沟”这一术语出现于20世纪60年代。

代沟的概念之一是指父母和孩子有不同的价值观和信仰。

因此，很多父母害怕孩子赞成伙伴的观点，父母转而失去影响力。

虽然这个术语还是常常被使用，有人却开始问这个问题：“今天的社会还有代沟吗？”
有一项研究比较了四代人：18-30岁的人，31-48岁的人，49-62岁的人，63岁和63岁以上的人，
问了几个问题以了解人们对一些问题的基本信仰和价值观，如“努力工作是成功之道”，“美国是世界上最佳的生活地”。

四代人给出的答案非常接近。

许多对年轻人的研究驳斥了代沟这一观念的存在。

这些研究显示，较之父母对音乐、服装和何为“酷”的评价，年轻人更趋于赞同伙伴的见解，与此同时，在生活中更重要的方面，如职业生涯、终身目标等，他们还是继续依赖父母的基本价值观和指导。

当然，总趋势是不能时时用于个例的。

觉得在我们和我们的十多岁孩子之间好像存在令人不快的“代沟”，需要弥合它，这是自然的。

然而，问题也许不在于见解和价值观的不同，而在于我们相互理解和沟通的方式。

下面的建议摘自于一篇题为“弥合代沟”的文章，也许对弥合代沟有所帮助。

尊重他人。

尊重与信任是能感染人的。

年轻人往往以父母看待他们的方式看待自己。

反过来，当你表示你尊重他们有能力决策和从错误中学习时，他们会因此而获得自信和自尊。

多听少说。

询问听起来可能像审问，不要这样。

应该抱有好奇的态度而不是控制之心。

问些这样的问题：“怎么会这样？你现在怎么看？当时吃惊吗？现在打算怎么做？你有什么计划？这事你是不是需要帮助？”如果你的目的只是听，在孩子说话时，你就需小心别在心里琢磨怎么回答。

这样你会听得更好，
而孩子也会受到鼓励说得更多。

先问孩子是否想听，然后才说你的观点。

只有当孩子说“是”时才继续说下去，而且要简洁。

不要说教，不要期待孩子同意你的观点。

说话时，如果你的态度是“我是这样理解的”，而不是“这样看问题才对”，孩子就可能更愿意听，而不会有逆反心理。

用“我们”而不用“你”。

“离开家之前我们要做家务，我们怎么料理必须做的事呢？”不论你用什么方式，只要能将“这是我们共同的事”这一信息传达给孩子，就有助于弥合本可能由冲突带来的鸿沟。

保持冷静。

交谈时生气或者太激动，你就可能轻易地毁了自己的可信度。

不要说“你毁了你的一生！”而要说“我担心如果......会怎么样。

在这种情况下，你想你可能怎么办？”
不要使用双重标准。

青少年非常警惕双重标准。

别指望他们遵守你自己都不遵守的规则。

无论是打电话报平安，还是叫他们收拾东西，或用奶盒喝牛奶，“照我说的做”而不是“照我做的做”是不会改善关系的。

承认自己的错误，说说你从他们身上学到了什么。

表现出自我接受和对不完美的容忍能很好地鼓励青少年（以及你身边的其他人），也往往能让他们更容易接近你，向你提出问题、表达遗憾甚至对你提出挑战。

当你认为自己做错了事或说错了话，比如发了脾气或争论时说了令人伤心的话，就道歉。

有欣赏之心。

青少年常有幽默感，充满活力，看什么事都觉得可能，这些能使父母意识到自己身上已被忘记或忽略的好的方面。

当十多岁的孩子体验到被人爱时，他们通常表现得更可爱。

Unit 3
A Good Heart to Lean on
More than I realized, Dad has helped me keep my balance.
When I was growing up, I was embarrassed to be seen with my father. He was severely crippled and very short, and when we walked together, his hand on my arm for balance, people would stare. I would inwardly struggle at the unwanted attention. If he ever noticed or was bothered, he never let on.
It was difficult to coordinate our steps—his halting, mine impatient—and because of that, we didn't say much as we went along. But as we started out, he always said, "You set the pace. I will try to adjust to you."
Our usual walk was to or from the subway on which he traveled to work. He went to work sick, and despite nasty weather. He almost never missed a day, and would make it to the office even if others could not. It was a matter of pride.
When snow or ice was on the ground, it was impossible for him to walk, even with help. At such times my sisters or I would pull him through the streets of Brooklyn, N.Y., on a child's wagon with steel runners to the subway entrance. Once there, he would cling to the handrail until he reached the lower steps that the warmer tunnel air kept free of ice. In Manhattan the subway station was in the basement of his office building, and he would not have to go outside again until we met him in Brooklyn on his way home.
When I think of it now, I am amazed at how much courage it must have taken for a grown man to subject himself to such shame and stress. And at how he did it—without bitterness or complaint.
He never talked about himself as an object of pity, nor did he show any envy of the more fortunate or able. What he looked for in others was a "good heart", and if he found one, the owner was good enough for him.
Now that I am older, I believe that is a proper standard by which to judge people, even though I still don't know precisely what a "good heart" is. But I know at times I don't have one myself.
Unable to engage in many activities, my father still tried to participate in some way. When a local baseball team found itself without a manager, he kept it going. He was a knowledgeable baseball fan and often took me to Ebbets Field to see the Brooklyn Dodgers play. He liked to go to dances and parties, where he could have a good time just sitting and watching.
On one occasion a fight broke out at a beach party, with everyone punching and shoving. He wasn't content to sit and watch, but he couldn't stand unaided on the soft sand. In frustration he began to shout, "I'll fight anyone who will sit down with me! I'll fight anyone who will sit down with me!"。