避免汉英翻译中的CHINGLISH

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汉英翻译中的CHINGLISH(上)
汉英翻译中有两种倾向:一种是一味追求译文流畅、文辞优美,忽略乃至偏离了原意;另一种是过于拘泥原文字句,机械地从字面上"对号入座",译文不顺而且难懂。

这两种倾向都不符合"信、达、雅"标准。

提高译文质量需要多方面的努力,对于母语是汉语的译者,最需要也是最难解决的问题之一,就是如何克服"中式英文",即"Chinglish"问题。

"Chinglish"往往导致某些译文生硬晦涩,使讲英语的读者敬而远之。

由于中国与英语国家的历史背景、政治、经济、社会、文化以及价值观等不同,汉译英容易产生中式英文,就像英译汉容易出现欧式中文一样。

因此,要求译者不仅精通汉语和英语,而且熟悉英语国家人们的生活背景、思维方式和语言习惯,时刻关注英语发展动态,多听外电,多读英文原著和原文,逐渐克服"Chinglish",使英译文读起来比较地道。

现就有关"Chinglish"几个问题与同学们探讨一下。

I、产生Chinglish的主要原因及其表现形式
一、带有中国特色的词汇不断出现。

改革开放以来,产生了不少新词汇、新提法,它们都是中国特有的,在英文里没有或一时找不到相应的译法,即使译出来也需要一定的磨合的过程。

译文往往是解释性的,解释不了,就字对字译出,因而容易出现Chinglish。

例如:
(1)"三讲"(讲学习、讲政治、讲正气)
初译:emphasize the need to study, to have political awareness and to be honest and upright
改译:emphasis on three things: study, politics and integrity
初译是解释性的,显然没有原文简洁。

改译简单明了,但也没完全摆脱中式英文的味道。

另外,politics一字有时含贬意。

(2)"经济法制化"manage economic affairs according to law或put economic operation
on a legal hasis or within a legal framework
"科研成果产业化"apply scientific research results to industrial production "国民经济信息化"build an information-based national economy
"社会知识化"build a knowledge-driven society
"国际关系民主化"Democracy should be practised in intemational relations
汉语中经常出现"化"字,有的可直译,譬如:"经济全球化",现译成:economic globalization。

但不能一律简单译成"ize",譬如把上句译成:International relations should be democratized。

意思就走样了。

上述便句均为解释性的译文,免不了中式英文的味道。

二、搭配不当。

由于受到汉语字面的影响,翻译中往往不是犯语法错误而是更深层次的搭配不当的问题。

例如:
(3)"我们将……在新的世纪里不断谱写建设有中国特色的社会主义的新篇章。


We will go on achieving fresh successes in building socialism with Chinese cha racteristics in the new century。

Note: "谱写新篇章"在有的上下文可以译成write a new chapter,例如:
"在中泰友好交往的历史中,谱写了新的篇章。

"可译为:we have written a new chapter in the annals of Sino-Thai friendship。

而在例句(3)中就不能这样译,因为write a chapter与building socialism是不能搭配在一起的。

(4)若干一般常见的搭配不当的例句:
"来信写道"译为the letter writes属搭配不当,应为:the letter reads
"取得成就"make achievements应为:score或"attain achievements
"革命接班人"successors to the revolution 应为:revolutionary successors
"革命事业接班人"successors to the revolutionary cause应为:successors in the revolutionary cause
三、重复和累赘。

汉语和英语对名词、动词、形容词和副词的用法不同,所以对重复强调的用法也不一样。

汉语中经常出现重复使用名词的现象,而英语则较多地用代词、短语或省略来表达。

例如:
(5)"为了开好本次大会,邮联大会中国组委会全力以赴做了大量的准备工作。

中国政府和北京市政府均对本次大会的筹备给予了大力支持。

很多国家政府和邮政主管部门也为中国筹备本次大会提供了有益的帮助。

在此,我谨向所有支持本次大会筹备工作的国家、部门和朋友们表示最衷心的感谢!"
初译:The Chinese Organizing Committee of the Postal Union Congress has gone all out to make preparations in order to make the Congress a success. The Central Government and the Beijing Municipal Government of China have rendered unfailing support to the preparatory work of the Congress. The Governments and competent postal departments of many countries have furnished kind assistance to China's preparatory work for the Congress. Here I'd like
to express my most sincere thanks to all countries, departments and friends that have given us support to the preparatory work for the Congress.
在这句话中,"大会",出现了五次,初译在英文中也出现五次。

"筹备"一词在汉语中出现三次,在英译文中出现了四次。

译文句子非常累赘,有Chinglish的味道。

改译:The COC has gone all out and done a lot of preparatory work for the Postal Union Congress to make it a success. Both the Central Government
and the Beijing Municipal Government of China have rendered unfailing support to its preparations. The Governments and competent postal departments of
many countries have provided China with kind help in the work. Here I wish
to express most sincere thanks to all the countries, departments and friends
that have given us support in this regard.
改译后,"大会"和"筹备"都只出现过一次,句子简练一些。

(6)"为了推动中美关系的发展,中国需要进一步了解美国,美国也需要进一步了解中国。

"
初译:To promote the development of China-US relations, China needs to know the US better and the US also needs to know China better.
改译:To promote China-US relations, China needs to know the US better and vice versa.
改后译文避免了重复,英文较顺。

(7)"依法治国……建立社会主义的法制国家"
初译:govern the country by law…and build the socialist country ruled by law 累赘且费解。

改译:exercise the rule of law…and turn China into a socialist country with an adequate legal system
这样避免出现两个"country",层次比较清楚。

四、过多使用修饰词。

汉语中经常用很强的副词修饰动词和形容词,用形容词修饰名词,以加重语气。

而译成英语时需要斟酌,不能一字一字地照译,否则往往强调过头,效果相反,削弱了原文的力量。

例如:
(8)"我们要继续坚定不移地坚持以经济建设为中心。

我们要继续坚定不移地推进改革开放。

我们要继续坚定不移地保持社会稳定。

我们要继续坚定不移地贯彻执行独立自主的和平外交政策。

"
a. We will continue to unswervingly focus on economic development.
We will continue to unswervingly press ahead with reform and opening-up.
We will continue to unswervingly carry out the independent foreign policy
of peace.
b. We will steadfastly focus on economic development, resolutely press
ahead with reform and opening-up, persistently maintain social stability
and unswervingly pursue the independent foreign policy of peace.
c. We will unswervingly focus on economic development, press ahead with
reform and opening-up, maintain social stability and pursue the independent foreign policy of peace.
第一个译文中,四个"坚定不移地"全译成unswervingly,这样的英译文不仅不能加重语气,反而弱化并显得累赘。

如果译成不同的副词也不可取,给人以副词堆砌的感觉。

只用一个副词修饰四个动词应该就可以了。

再如:"彻底粉碎"completely smash, "smash"本意就是break completely,已经包含了"彻底"的意思,加上completely语气反而弱化。

"完全征服"completely conquer, "conquer"不可能是partly。

"极为可耻"extremely shameless,"shameless"已是最高级。

"伟大的历史性转变"This is a great historic change。

在英语里,historic已经包含了great的意思。

五、不适当的省略。

有时汉语简洁,但译成英文必须补缺。

(9)"农业搞好了,农民能自给,五亿人口就稳定了。

"
初译:if agriculture is in good shape and the peasants self-supporting, then the 500million people will feel secure。

改译:If agriculture is in good shape and the peasants are self-supporting,… 前半句主语和动词都是单数,后半句主语是多数,因而必须据此加一复数动词而不能省略。

(10)"人的意志想要避免,也不可能。

"
初译:It cannot be avoided even if people want to.
改译:It cannot be avoided even if people want to avoid it.
必须加avoid it。

前半句avoided是被动,而后半句avoid是主动,因而不能省略。

六、拟人法。

这种现象在汉语中经常出现。

而在译成英语时,往往因受汉语字面影响使译文有Chinglish的味道。

(11)"中国社会主义建设的航船将乘风破浪地驶向现代化的光辉彼岸。

"
a.The ship of China's socialist construction will brave the wind and waves and sail to the glorious destination of modernization。

"ship"没有生命,而搞modernization的主语应当是人。

b. China will stride forward in building socialism, like a ship braving
the wind and the waves, towards the glorious destination of modernization. (b)例译文并不理想,但克服了拟人化,比(a)略有改进。

(12)"世纪之交,中国外交空前活跃。

"
初译: At the turn of the century, China's diplomacy is most active.
因为diplomacy 是没有生命的,active 的主语应当是人。

改译:The turn of the century finds China
most active on the diplomatic arena.就解决了拟人化的问题。

(13)"创新是一个民族进步的灵魂"
初译:……innovation is the soul of a nation's progress.
改译:……inno vation sustains the progress of a nation.
Soul是有生命的,而innovation则没有,两者在一起是拟人化,改译纠正了这一点。

七、没有注意词类转换。

汉译英有时不能完全按照原文是什么词类就译成什么词类,而需要根据情况对词类进行调整和转换。

(14)"我们之间关系的发展使我们不仅成为亲密的朋友而且成为兄弟。

"
a. The development of our relations has made us not only close friends
but also brothers.
b. Our relations have so grown that they bind us not only as close friends
but also as brothers.
例句b吃透了原文的精神,转换了词类,使用了英语的表达方法,英语味道比前一例句要强。

(15)"轻纺工业产品的花色品种增多,质量继续有所提高。

"
a. The designs and variety of light industrial and textile products have increased and their quality has continued to improve。

翻译时词类完全按照中文,因而有Chinglish的味道。

b. Light industry and textile products are now available in better designs
and quality and in richer variety。

b比a 例有明显的改进。

(16)"中国的富强和发展不会对任何国家构成威胁。

"
a. The strength, prosperity and development of China will pose no threat
to any countries.
b. A strong, prosperous and developed China will pose no threat to any countries.
例a是字对字翻译,例b比较自然。

II.如何避免Chinglish,使译文读起来像地道的英文
一、吃透原文,遵循译语。

首先要吃透中文的精神,摆脱中文字面的束缚,从英语读者的角度出发,按照英语习惯,对句子进行重组,以清晰的文字表达原文的意思。

(17)"维护世界和平是大有希望的。

"
a. To maintain world peace is very hopeful.
b. There are great hopes for the maintenance of world peace.这两句基本上是字对字翻译。

c. The prospect for world peace is very bright.
d. The prospects for world peace are very encouraging indeed.后两句英文比较通顺。

(18)"同时,也从一个角度反映了他们心怀祖国,放眼世界的精神面貌和文化生活。

"
初译:In addition, their pictures reflect, from a certain angle, their mental outlook of having the whole country in mind and the whole world in view
as well s their cultural life.
改译:In addition, their pictures reflect, from a certain angle, their mental outlook, their love for the motherland and wide-ranging interest in the
world as well as their cultural life.
初译句子用了套语,比较臃肿,不好懂。

改译后比较通顺易懂。

二、在工作中有意识地记录常用语和老大难的译例。

多听外电、大量阅读英文原著原文,尤其是关于中国的文章,看看外国人对同一个词、同一个事物以及成语如何表达,进行比较研究后"择优录取"较贴切的用法,为我所用。

(但在借用这些词汇和表达方法时,一定要注意其政治倾向和不同的上下文)例如:
(19)"新世纪即将到来之际",外报、外电中有很多说法,搜集起来,用时就方便了。

As the new century approaches
On the verge of the new century
At the dawn of the new century
At the threshold of the new century
As the new century is just round the corner
(2)"……增长百分之几十,有的成倍增长"
increase by double-digit percentages or in some cases several-fold
如果有具体数字,譬如:增长了百分之7.4,翻译不会有任何困难。

但"百分之几十"则不好表达,既然外报有这种表达法,而且与中文也恰好吻合,我们拿来用就是了。

(21)bring out the best in people,"人尽其才"通常译为:put people's talents to the best use,而现英文句型更生动地表达了"充分发挥人的能力"的意思
再有:
(Tichets, priced from…to…)are far out of the reach of the ordinary workers,"望尘莫及"
If…, all the other problems would melt away."迎刃而解"
A special one-time case"下不为例"
Downsizing for efficiency or cut payroll to increase efficiency "减员增效"
上述这些英文说法用的都是小字、短字、简单字,都比较形象,均可为我所用。

二、注重积累。

阅读英译汉文章时,注意搜集常用的词、短语、句子,查阅英语原文是如何表达,利用reverse or back translation的办法,不断积累地道的英语词汇和句型,也就是:英-汉-英。

(22)"我最近常常想到你和贵国"
You and your country have been much in my thoughts recently。

这个用法比have often thought of you地道。

(23)"你目睹了中国和世界在本世纪走过的非凡历程"
You have witnessed the sweep of a remarkable century, both in China and abroad.这里sweep即是"历程",它比course更为形象,而且有"走过"的动作。

(24)"大力继承这些遗产并发扬光大"
…are dramatically building on this legacy
比inheriting and carrying forward this legacy简练贴切。

(25)"经济改革改变了中国的面貌和人民的日常生活"
Economic reform…has transformed China's landscape and its people's daily lives. Landscape的用法可以效仿。

(26)"美籍华人独特的文化和……勤奋观念加强了我们社会的凝聚力。

"
Chinese Americans' unique culture and values of … hard work have strengthened the fabric of our society.
Fabric的用法值得学习。

(27)"每个国家都得根据自己的传统寻找发展方案。

"
Each country has to look for development approaches within its own traditions. "Within"可以译成"根据",那么在类似情况下,"根据"也可译成within。

(28)"在零售和烹调行业方面,家办企业的买卖完全超过了国家办的。

"
In the retail and catering sectors, household operations have completely outmarketed the state.
"household operations"和"outmarket"都可拿来为我所用。

四、随时随地学习。

天下无难事,只怕有心人。

培训对语言的浓厚兴趣,随时随地学习以英语为母语的人在不同场合对不同事物的表达方式。

从中吸收对我有用的东西。

(29)我们在许多不同的场合都用"辛苦了"一词,而英语国家的人则随着情况的变化而变换说法。

譬如,
客人刚抵达时,主人可以说:
Did you have a good trip?
某人辛勤工作后,就可以表扬他:
Thank you for your hard work.或You've been working hard!
但江主席在检阅部队时说,"同志们辛苦了!"(还有"同志们好!")怎样翻译?
至于"同志们好!"显然不能译成Hello或How are you之类。

是否可以译成:Salute!
也许需要问问外国朋友。

再如:客人们抵达后,外国主人问道,"Would you like to make yourself comfortable?"我想,这正是我们平时所说"想方便一下么?"
(30)会谈对英方人员说,
We have to consult the opinions of a wide cross-section of people。

这正是我们所说的"我们必须广泛听取各界人士的意见。

"
如果要从根本上来解决,还需要提高译者的综合素质,尤其是语言素质和修养,不仅汉语要好,英语尤要精通,而且知识面要广。

一般说来,译者英语的造诣越深,其译文中的Chinglish就越少。

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