Sex and City 第一季a003

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103 Bay of married pigs
One of the best things about living in a city like New York is leaving it.
My friend, Patience and her husband invited me to the Hamptons for the weekend.
Patience and Peter were the perfect married couple.
They were fun, smart and looked like they fell out of a J. Crew catalogue.
If their house wasn't on the beach, I would've hated them.
So, he gets in the cab and slides up next to me. Yes? And it is hot.
It is hot from Houston and West Broadway to 72nd and Madison.
Hampton houseguests have to sing for their supper.
Brokers give investment advice, archi-tects, design advice, single people give married friends tidbits from their sex-ual escapades.
The next morning I woke up feeling rested and fabulous.
I wanted to go out and take in the spectacular view.
Morning. Patience went out to get juice and muffins.
She'll be right back.
There he was, full frontal... friend.
Good! He just stood there, casual, hap-py, hanging out.
I didn't know what to say.
I only knew that was too much Peter before coffee. Good morning.Hey.
I've got some fresh juice and the good muffins.
How good Of a friend was she?
What's the difference?
When someone gets married, all bets are off. We become the enemy.
As the only single lawyer at her law firm, Miranda had given this topic some thought.
Married women know we can have sex any time, with anyone.
We can?
And they're afraid we're gonna have it
with their husbands.
I'd never sleep with a married man.
Are you sure you haven't?
Wedding rings come off, you know.
If you're single, you can't be trusted.
Not all married women feel that way.
Charlotte treated marriage as a sorori-ty she was hoping to pledge.
You're right, not all.
The ones who don't fear you, pity you.
That's not true.
Are you telling me you haven't gotten those 'poor single you' looks?
I hate those.
OK, Yes, I have.
When you're the only single person at a party, they look at you like you're a loser?
Leper.
Whore.
Exactly.
Married people are the enemy!
Was Miranda right?
Were we enemies?
Is there a secret cold war between mar-rieds and singles?
I love my single friends, but now that I'm married, I don't see them as much as I used to.
It's too painful. They remind me of how desperate I used to be.
When women get married, they forget who they are. ''I'' becomes ''we''.
''We loved the movie.''
''We hate that restaurant.''
We, we, we, we, we.
My best buddy and I did everything together.
Then he married this girl who doesn't like me.
Now I only see him on Super Bowl Sunday.
It's all about what you want. Some people, like me, choose to grow up, face reality and get married, and oth-ers choose to, what?
Live an empty, haunted life of stunted adolescence.
No, it's not a cold war.
It's an out and out battle.
And it isn't just straight people.
Every gay guy I know is running off to Hawaii, putting on a caftan, reciting vows, and feeling superior to me.
Caftans?
Yes, with orchid leis.
Aloha.
I miss the old times when everyone was alone.
I'm starting to feel like I'm an outcast in the...
Carrie?
Oh, my God!
Joe! Hi! Wow!
Jeez, it's been years.
I haven't seen you since you were...
Straight?
I was gonna say in Miss Saigon.
Still am.
I love Miss Saigon.
This is my friend, Stanford.
This is My life partner, Lou.
Look at that. Congratulations.
Where are you registered?
Barney's.
I was kidding.
So, how about you?
Are you married?
Not really, I mean, no!
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Perfect!
What?
Lou and I want to have a child.
We already have a surrogate, but we need a top-notch egg.
What are your feelings about donating one?
Listen, here's our card.
Think about it and give us a call.
We'll pay.
Great seeing you.
I had just experienced single bashing for the new millennium.
I was no longer considered a person.
I was now an egg farm.
Meanwhile, downtown, another single
woman was about to be humiliated.
Miranda had to attend her firm's an-nual softball game.
A law firm softball game is like any other, but when a lawyer steals a base, he gets promoted.
Miranda!
I thought you wouldn't come.
Alright, let's get it over with.
Panicked at the idea of spending an-other firm function as a leper, Miranda had agreed to be fixed up on a blind date.
Miranda, this is Syd.
Syd, Miranda.
Look at you two, perfect match.
Well, I'm gonna excuse myself.
Nice to meet you.
you too.
I'm gonna get a soda.
You want a soda?
I'm gonna get us a soda.
Jeff!
Pretty great, huh?
Can I pick 'em or what?
Yeah, I'm not gay.
Seriously?
in eight months, I've never seen you with a guy.
Circumstantial, Jeff, I'm single.
Christ, when did being single translate into being gay?
Shit. Do you want me to go over there and...
No, I'll do it.
Brave Miranda marched right over and told Syd she wasn't.
They had a good laugh and decided to stay and play ball.
Miranda and Syd's last inning double play got the attention of everyone, even the firm's senior partner. Quite a play, ladies.
It's all about teamwork, Charles.
Chip.
Chip.
My wife and I are having a dinner par-ty on the 12th, just some couples, noth-ing fancy.
We'd love it if you both came.
We'd love to.
That night, Miranda gave me the low-down on her day.
You think it's because they think that you're in a couple?
in two years he's barely spoken to me, all of a sudden, it's ''Chip''.
A lawyer named Chip, gotta love that.
They seemed relieved to have finally figured me out.
You're actually going to dinner?
Yup.
I want to make partner in this firm, even if I have to be a lesbian.
After Miranda left, I had a thought.
Maybe the cold war isn't about hate, maybe it's about fear, fear of the un-known.
Married people don't hate singles, they just want us ''figured out''.
It was time to stop all this speculation and infiltrate the enemy camp.
Lunch with my favorite couple, David and Lisa.
I don't think of us as married so much as together.
Are we married?
Remember when you wore the white dress and we got all the flatware?
Yeah. I guess I should stop seeing oth-er men.
And you? You like being single?
Most Of The time, yeah.
Then there are the other times, like family functions when they sit you at the kid's table.
Or when you two eat off the same fork, I just...
Man, that's so sweet.
Don't start crying.
He's such a pussy.
But you do want to get married, right?
I don't know. I'm beginning to think I may not be the marrying kind.
Really?
As soon as the words came out, I won-dered if they were true.
Hey!
Hey, Sean!
What a surprise. this is Carrie.
Hi.
We're about to have dessert, wanna join us?
Sure. This is such a surprise.
Another time I hate being single is when married friends ''surprise'' fix you up.
Two espressos and a tiramisu later, I had learned that Sean was the youngest of three brothers, had his own investment firm and was about to move into an apartment he had just purchased.
you know this was a fix-up, right?
Please, I could smell it before you walked in the door.
My parents met on a fix-up, and they'll be married 41 years next month.
That's great.
It was then I realized, I was having coffee with the marrying guy.
That illusive and rare Manhattan man whose sights were set on marriage.
Can I see you again?
Sure.
Over the next week and a half, I met Sean for a movie...
I met him for another movie.
I helped him pick out a top of the line cheese grater at Williams-Sonoma.
My house-warming is on the 12th.
Come, and bring your friends.
Sounds like fun.
Thanks for a great day.
He was like the flesh and blood equiv-alent of a DKNY dress.
You know it's not you're style, but it's there, so you try it on anyway.
It was the night of the 12th.
On the East Side, a pseudo lesbian couple went to a Republican dinner.
Hey!
On the West Side, a trio of single gals went to a single guy's house-warming.
Are his friends cute?
I don't know, I haven't met them.
How did you get a new boyfriend in a week?
He's not my boyfriend.
I'm just trying him on.
All right, ready?
Everywhere people were standing in twos.
It was like Noah's Upper West Side rent controlled ark.
It's all married couples.
Samantha gave me a look like I had sold her to the enemy for chocolate bars and nylons.
This is for you. Hi.
You must be Charlotte.
Hi.
You must be Samantha.
Yeah, where's the bar?
Kitchen, you can't miss it, room with the stove.
This place is amazing.
I've been planning it for years.
I'll give you guys the grand tour.
Moving through the married couples, I noticed something was different...
No fear, no pity, no pointing.
Were Sean's friends cold war conscien-tious objectors?
Or was it just that I was ''figured out''?
My accountant says it's best to go with low risk stocks.
It depends.
What are your expectations?
I'm not sure.
Honey, I need you to meet someone.
sure.
Ihis is Samantha, Samantha, Elaine.
His wife.
Honey, I need you in The other room.
Sure. Nice talking to you Samantha.
This is The den.
A leather club chair! I love them.
Thanks. I'm using this room as an of-fice now, but someday... this is gonna be the kid's room. Look.
I got this three years ago in Aspen.
What do you think?
I owe you. I didn't know all his bud-dies were married.
My God, you're doing tequila shots?
see That buddy over there?
I fucked him.
see That buddy over there?
I fucked him too.
I never thought I'd see them again.
We should tag your married men so you can keep track of them.
He's gonna ask you to marry him.
He's not. We've been dating a week.
No guy buys a classic six on the Upper West Side unless they're seriously thinking about marriage. Some people read palms, Charlotte read real estate.
If you turn into one of those married assholes, I'll kill you.
Sean is the greatest guy and he loves kids.
Plus, he owns his own business, We both slept with him and he's great in bed.
An hour and a half into this house-warming, I had gone from party guest to prisoner of war. Samantha is totally drunk.
I've got to get her out of here.
You're not going without me.
Carrie!
Oh God, more friends.
Surprise!
It certainly was.
Last time I saw Patience she was shov-ing me on a bus.
When Sean told us you two were dat-ing, we were thrilled.
About what happened at your house the other day...
Don't mention it.
I'm not sure...
I said don't mention it.
This party is terrible.
Who are you?
This is my friend Patience and her husband Peter.
I heard about you.
Big pepper mill dick!
We gotta go!
And suddenly our little cease-fire was over.
Meanwhile, across town, things were winding down.
Thank you so much, we really had a great time.
As did we all.
She is a real find.
We'll do it again soon.
I'll meet you at the elevator, OK?
We can't do it again soon.
Syd and I aren't really a couple.
We're not even really lesbians.
Well, Syd is, I'm not.
I just wanted to bend your ear about my work at the firm.
Shrewd move, counselor.
No harm done.
Thank you, sir.
My wife will be disappointed.
She wanted to add a lesbian couple to our circle.
As they rode between floors, Miranda considered how much easier life would be if she were in a couple, any couple.
Yup, definitely straight.
Yeah, you are.
Sorry.
While she cursed her heterosexuality wondering how much longer she could fight the war, Charlotte cursed tequila and forced Samantha into a cab.
She thought Samantha was too drunk
and insisted she slept on her couch.
We're home.
We're home. Oh, boy.
Let me get that door for you.
hi.
Alright.
I like him!
bye.
She got Samantha upstairs and safely to bed, or so she thought.
A few hours later, Samantha woke up still drunk and single.
And single to Samantha meant one thing.
Can I have a cigarette?
Sure.
Can I have a kiss?
Jesus...
I really shouldn't, somebody might see.
Why don't you come upstairs for a minute?
Samantha?
Don't be scared, miss.
It's me, Tommy, I'm just leaving.
Your friend invited me up.
I know it was wrong, but I've just been so lonely since I left home.
I wanted the feel of a woman's touch on me.
I'm going into the bathroom now and when I come out you won't be here.
I never want this mentioned again.
Let me get the door for you, miss.
I was hoping you'd stay over.
Look, Sean, I don't think this is gonna work.
We want different things.
You want to get married and...
I don't know what I want.
you Can smell My desperation, right?
No, it's just...
I was trying you on, you know?
To see if it fits.
It doesn't.I'm sorry.
I don't understand you women.
All I hear is, ''I want to get married, I want to get married'', and none of you says yes.
What the fuck?
I'm so tired of going through women.
I just want to get married.
I may know someone who's perfect for you.Who?
They started out casual, a brunch here, a concert there.
But pretty soon they were visiting chi-na.
I always wanted this pattern for for-mal dining.
Are you serious?
Charlotte broke it off then and there.
It would never work.
He was American classic, she was French country.
Your friend never called like she promised. Why?
I don't know.
As I sifted through the rubble of my marriage skirmish, I had a thought.
The war between marrieds and singles
is like the war in Northern Ireland.
We're basically the same, but we wound up on different sides.
it'd be great to have that one special person to walk home with, but some-times there's nothing better than meet-ing your single girlfriends for a night at the movies.。

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