bec 商务报告例题5

例题 5
You work for PJT Ltd, a manufacturing company. You need more staff in your department and your line manager has asked you to write a report explaining why. Look at the information below, on which you have already made some handwritten notes.
Then, using all your handwritten notes, write your report. Write 120-140 words.
Number of staff Average number
in department of units ordered
2008 2009 201050
53
55
200,000
280,000
400,000
not enough compare figures
February 2011
Staff Newsletter
Our sales department has announced a big
order from an international company. Annual holiday increased to 5 weeks per year. new say what
effect this
will have
explain what problem could be
To: Customer Accounts Manager, PJT Ltd. Subject: Late order The last order we placed with PLT was six weeks late in arriving. I’m sure you appreciate …
fewer delays if had more staff!
Sample 1
The purpose of this report is that we need more staff. Indeed if we compare the number of people who work in this department between 2008 and 2010, it only increased from five people but the orders are twice more numerous.
Furthermore, our sales department has announced an important order from a company. It will be very difficult to satisfy this demand if we don't increase our staff. Since a few time, the annual holiday is five weeks per year. That's means that every person will miss it work one week more per year and during this time the work won't be done.
Finally, we received a mail from a customer to informe us that he became his order six weeks late. However, if w e had more staff the order should be on time.
Band 3
All the content points have been covered and the report is appropriate in terms of register and format. There is clear evidence of organisation and good use is made of discourse markers. There are a number of language errors, but these are relatively minor and do not impede communication of the message.
Sample 2
Report on: More staff in our department
Date: 27.03.2011
Introduction
This report aims to explain why our department needs more staff.
Facts (Findings)
The latest statistic comparing the number of staff in our department and the average number of units ordered points out the main reason for more staff. While the number of ordered units grow up from only 200,000 to 400,000 within 2 years the number of staff grew only by 5 people. The Staff Newsletter of February 2011 is about the big new order from an international company. But because of the increase of annual holiday to 5 weeks per year there will be not enough staff for all the work. Another reason for more staff is that we will have fewer delays.
Conclusion
There are many reasons which explain the importance of more staff. It is especially important for reducing the number of delays in delivery and to optimise the
workflow.
Recommendations
More staff does not only mean more costs, it also means satisfied customers.
Band 4
All the content points have been addressed with reasonable attempts at development. The report is generally well organised and it is cohesive and concise. Overall, the language used is accurate and includes a good range of grammar and vocabulary.。