英语笑话带翻译简短的
简短的英语笑话带翻译摘抄
简短的英语笑话带翻译摘抄笑话(jokes)往往是指能引人发笑的谈话或故事。
作为文体,篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,取得令人捧腹的艺术效果。
店铺整理了简短的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!简短的英语笑话带翻译篇一Wow!That's a Big One!哇!那个真是大得吓人One day a tourist walked into a Texas tavern and ordered a shot of whiskey. The bartender puta big tumbler full of whiskey in front of him.某一天一位观光客走进一家德州酒店点了一杯威士忌，酒保竞给他一大杯的酒。
"What's this?" asked the tourist.“这是什么呢?”观光客问道。
"Why, it's a shot of whiskey! Don't you know that everything is big in Texas?"“怎么了，那是你点的酒，难道你不知道德州每样东西都大得吓人。
”Then, an armadillo ran past the door.那时刚好有一只穿山甲跑过酒店门口。
“What was that?" asked the tourist.“那是什么东西?’观光客又问。
"Why, that was a Texas cockroach. "“哦，那是只德州蟑螂!”By this time, the whiskey had gone to the tourist's bladder as well as his head,喝了酒，观光客感到腹胀头昏，and he asked the location of the bathroom.他问哪里有洗手间。
有关英语小笑话带翻译简短
有关英语小笑话带翻译简短笑话一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一种民间口头创作形式,在民间文化中以口口相传的形式传播。
店铺整理了简短英语小笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!简短英语小笑话带翻译篇一Two Irish lovers are sitting on a bench, in a park. They are holding hands，but the lady is nervously twisting her hands.一对爱尔兰情侣坐在公园里的长椅上。
他们手牵着手，但是那个女的一直紧张地摆弄她的双手。
Mary: “Patrick. I have something to tell you.”玛丽:“帕特瑞克，我有些事想告诉你。
”Patrick: “Well，what’s on your mind? You know you can tell me everything.”帕特瑞克:“好的，你在想什么?有什么事你尽管可以跟我说。
”Mary: “It’ s so terrible.”玛丽:“这件事简直太难讲出口了。
”Patrick: “You know you can trust me. What is it?”帕克瑞克:“请你相信我，到底是什么事?”Mary: “Well, it was a few years ago. Father lost his job, and no money in sight…”玛丽:“那是好几年前的事了。
我爸爸失业了，当时没有钱。
”Patrick: “So, what is it?”帕特瑞克:“那然后呢?”Mary: “Oh. We were so desperate. For some time I had to turn… prostitute!”玛丽:“哦，当时我们简直是绝望之极。
所以有时候我不得不去做妓女!”Patrick: “WHAT!”帕特瑞克:“你说什么?”Mary: “We needed the money so bad!”玛丽:“我们太需要钱了。
超短的英语笑话带翻译笑死
超短的英语笑话带翻译笑死一直以来民间的笑话、笑料题材，比比皆是，可以汇编成专集。
小编精心收集了超短的英语笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!超短的英语笑话带翻译篇1Two boys are talking with each other.两个孩子正在交谈。
"You see, in the old times there were no electricity, no radios, no televisions. How could ourancestors survive?"“你想，古代没有电，没有收音机，也没有电视。
我们的祖先怎么能活着呢?”"So they all died."“所以他们都死了。
”超短的英语笑话带翻译篇2Jenny's papa bought her a pair of new trousers, but it couldn't be worn as it shrank in the wash. Her mother got angry.詹妮的爸爸给她新买了一条裤子，但刚一下水就缩得不能穿了。
她的妈妈非常生气。
But Jenny said. "Mama, I can wear it if you have me a bath."詹妮却说：“妈妈，你给我洗个澡，我就能穿了。
”超短的英语笑话带翻译篇3The neighbor often borrowed my inflator.邻居经常借我家的打气筒。
One day, my four-year-old daughter suddenly told me:"Papa, what shall we do if the air of our inflator is used up?"有一天，4岁的女儿突然告诉我说：“爸爸，我们的打气筒里面的气用完了怎么办?”超短的英语笑话带翻译篇4"Mama, why does the puppy drink the water in the slot?"“妈妈，小狗为什么要喝水沟里的水?”"Because it's thirsty."“因为它渴了。
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，另外一个行动(动作)型的笑话是以动作影响人的视觉及观感，而感到好笑。
下面一起来看一下一些爆笑英语笑话吧。
In music class, the teacher asked Jack: “Please answer me what the oldest musical instrument is.”音乐课上，老师问杰克：“请回答，世界上最古老的乐器是什么?”Jack answered unhesitatingly: “It is the accordion.”杰克坚定地回答：“是手风琴。
”The teacher asked doubtfully: “Why do you say that it is the accordion, my dear boy?”老师疑惑地问：“为什么是手风琴呢，英语笑话我可爱的孩子?”Jack s aid: “Teacher, don’t you see that the accordion is completely covered by wrinkles.”杰克说：“老师，您没看见手风琴上全是皱纹吗?”最好的解释The Best ExplanationOnce in a physics class, Tom’s teacher asked the students: “When it thunders, why do we see the lightning first, then hear the thunders?”一次物理课上，汤姆的老师问同学们：“当打雷的时候，为什么我们先看到闪电，然后才听到雷声呢?”Tom answered the question very quickly, while his classmates were thinking it hard.当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，英语笑话汤姆很快就答了上来。
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话5篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语爆笑笑话一：Hospitality好客The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-piewithout any cheese.由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。
The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returnedwith a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。
过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。
The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You musthave better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?"客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪?”"In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.“在捕鼠夹上，先生。
”那小男孩说。
英语爆笑笑话二：太黑了，看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?”过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
英语小笑话短文带翻译
英语小笑话短文带翻译冷笑话是近年来颇为流行的一种语言现象,主要以机智、幽默著称。
小编精心收集了英语小笑话短文带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!英语小笑话短文带翻译篇1Failure in a Test考试不及格Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?妈妈:这次测试你为什么得这么低的分?Kid: Because of absence.孩子:因为缺考。
Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?妈妈：你的意思是考试那天你没去?Kid: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.孩子:不是，是坐在我旁边的孩子没来。
英语小笑话短文带翻译篇2The Thinker《思想者》Two boys were admiring the famous statue by Rodin entitled The Thinker.两个男孩正在欣赏罗丹的著名雕塑《思想者》。
"What do you suppose he's thinking about?"asked one.“你猜他在想什么”其中一个问道。
"I guess he's thinking about where he put his clothes." replied the other.“我猜他是在想他把衣服放在哪里了，”另一个回答说。
英语小笑话短文带翻译篇3Where It Should Be Plugged插在何处A mother is very good at using every chance to educate hisson, who was only three years old.一位母亲十分擅长利用每一个机会教育孩子。
她的儿子中有3岁。
关于英语的幽默笑话大全带翻译
关于英语的幽默笑话大全带翻译本文是关于关于英语的幽默笑话大全带翻译，仅供参考，希望对您有所帮助，感谢阅读。
1.一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，TOKOTA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”又有一辆经过，他又说：“oh，NISSAN！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，HONDA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”后来到了机场，那个日本人就问：“How Much？”出租车司机说：“1000！”日本人惊奇的问司机：“为什么那么贵？”出租车司机回答说：“oh，mileometer（计程表）！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”2.话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。
A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「I AM后羿！」B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM丘比特！」轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。
就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」3.某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。
一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：I am sorry.老外应道：I am sorry too.某人听后又道：I am sorry three.老外不解，问：What are you sorry for?某人无奈，道：I am sorry five.4.某男，粗通英文，至使馆，有表要填，有一栏是sex。
该男思之久已，毅然下笔：“Once a week“。
签证官观后暴笑，曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female.“该男顿时赧颜，思之，填下“female“，官楞之，曰：“shouldn’t it be male?“男急释曰：“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.”。
英语小笑话带翻译
英语小笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译（精选12篇）笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
下面是店铺为大家整理的关于英语的小笑话带翻译，欢迎大家的阅读。
英语小笑话带翻译篇1He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。
干什么的？-- 墓地守墓人。
英语小笑话带翻译篇2Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。
在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
英语小笑话带翻译
英语小笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译25则英语小笑话带翻译（一）：1。
Dad: Tom， please tell me， which month has 28 days?Tom: Every month。
爸爸：告诉我汤姆，哪个月有28天呢？汤姆：每个月都有啊！2。
Boy: Is this seat empty?Girl: Yes， and this one will be if you sit down。
男孩：这个座位是空的么？女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。
3。
Boy: "I'd like to call you。
What's your number?"girl: "It's in the phone book。
" Boy: "But I don't know your name。
" girl: "That's in the phone book too。
"男：我想给你打电话。
你的电话号码是多少？女：在电话本上呢。
男：可是我不明白你的名字呀。
女：也在电话本上呢。
4。
Palmist: The life line in your hand tells that you will die in a year。
Customer: Good gracious! In a year? Palmist: Yes， but I can't say in which。
手相大师：你手上的生命线显示出你还有一年将会死去。
顾客：天哪，一年后？手相大师：是的，可是我不能说是哪一年。
5。
A cop spotted a woman driving and knitting at the same time。
Coming up beside her， he said， "Pull over!" "No，" she replied， "a pair of socks!"巡警发现一名妇女边开车边织毛衣，便开车上前，说："靠边停车(套头衫)！" "不，" 她回答，"是一双袜子！"6。
英语笑话带翻译简单的
英语笑话带翻译简单的笑话是幽默的一个属概念,具有幽默的一切特征。
笑话是民族特有幽默的一种形式。
小编精心收集了简单的英语笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!简单的英语笑话带翻译篇1Beef Sandwich牛肉三明治A man went into a deli shop and took a seat at the lunch counter.有一名男子走近一家熟食店，在吃午餐的柜台旁选了一个位置。
"Give me corned beef sandwich,"he ordered.他点餐时说：“给我来个腌牛肉三明治。
”"Corned beef sandwich is not on the menu,but I can give you a sandwich with corned beef in it ,like our midnight Special.""菜单上没有腌牛肉三明治，但是我可以给你一个里面有腌牛肉的三明治，像是我们的午夜特餐。
”"What's a Midnight Special?"“午夜特餐是什么?”"A triple decker with corned beef,tongue,bologna,tomato,lettuce,onion,pockle and mayonnaise,on toasted raisin bread."“有三层，里面是腌牛肉、牛舌、熏香肠、蕃茄、莴苣、洋葱、腌泡菜，还有美乃滋的三层烤葡萄干面包。
…"Could you just place a piece of corned beef between two slices of white bread and serve it to me on a plate?""你可不可以在两片白面包中间只放一片腌牛肉，装在一个盘子上端给我吃?”"Why,sure!"Then,turning to the sandwich man ,“哦，当然可以。
关于超短的英语笑话带翻译
关于超短的英语笑话带翻译笑话对人有非常多的好处，看笑话变得快乐使生活变得更加的舒心哦。
店铺整理了关于超短的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!关于超短的英语笑话带翻译篇一服务员，汤里有只死苍蝇!1美元你想要什么——活的?aiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!What do you expect for $1 - a live one?关于超短的英语笑话带翻译篇二服务员，来杯咖啡，不加奶油。
对不起，先生，奶油没了，不加奶怎么样?Waiter, I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.I'm sorry, sir, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk? 关于超短的英语笑话带翻译篇三服务员，汤里有只蜜蜂!是的，先生，今天苍蝇放假。
Waiter, waiter, there's a bee in my soup.Yes Sir, it's the fly's day off.关于超短的英语笑话带翻译篇四Two Pieces of CakeTom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!两块蛋糕汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!关于超短的英语笑话带翻译篇五服务员，你的领带在我的汤里了。
没关系，先生，它不缩水。
Waiter, your tie is in my soup!That's all right, sir, it's not shrinkable.。
英语小笑话短文带翻译(3篇)
英语小笑话短文带翻译（3篇）小学英语小笑话带翻译篇一'Isn't the head teacher a bit of a twit?' said a boy to a girl.一个小男孩跟小女孩说：“你有没有觉得班主任有点傻？”'Well, do you know who I am?' inquired the girl.小女孩回答到：“啊哈，你知道我是谁吗？”'No.' replied the boy.小男孩回答道：“不知道。
”'I'm the head teacher's daughter'， replied the girl.小女孩说：“我就是你口中所说的傻班主任的女儿。
”'And do you know who I am?' asked the boy.小男孩（面不改色心里惊恐地）问：“那你知道我是谁吗？”'No,' she uttered.小女孩说：“不知道。
”'Thank goodness!' said the boy with a sigh of relief.小男孩大大的松了口气，说道“真是谢天谢地啊。
”带翻译的英语小笑话篇二A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention,passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the threewe have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result."Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We justlost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive inLondon three hours late."At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose anotherengine, we'll be up here all night!"一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。
英文笑话带翻译爆笑
2. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
怎么让纸巾跳舞呢？你往上放点音乐
3. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
英文笑话带翻译爆笑
笑话是生活中的调剂品，能够给人带来欢乐和放松。而英文笑话更是不同国家和地区都能理解的笑话形式，让人们在跨国交流中也能共享欢乐。下面就给大家带来一些经典的英文笑话，并附上中文翻译，一起来欣赏一下吧！
1. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
你怎样称呼不是你的奶酪呢？墨西哥煎玉米饼奶酪。
6. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
我告诉我妻子她应该接受自己的错误，她给了我一个拥抱。
以上是一些笑话不仅仅能给我们带来快乐，还能锻炼我们的英语听力和理解能力。希望大家在学习英语的道路上能够轻松愉快，充满笑声！
听说游乐场有绑架事件吗？他们醒来了。
4. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
为什么骷髅不打架呢？因为他们没有胆量。
5. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.
英语笑话6篇带翻译超级搞笑
英语笑话6篇带翻译超级搞笑下面是店铺整理的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么?What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么?答案：锄地。
(英文里Hoe 和ho同音。
hoe是锄草之意，ho则是圣诞老人的笑声。
)英语笑话二：Entering Heaven 进天堂Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates。
三名男子都死于平安夜，而后分别在天堂之门被圣彼得召见。
"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."圣彼得说：“因为这个神圣的节日，你们每个人都必须有象征圣诞节的物品才能进入天堂”。
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said。
第一名男子从他得口袋里掏出了个打火机，他打燃打火机说：“它代表蜡烛”。
于是圣彼得就让他进入了天堂。
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."第二个男子从口袋里掏出一串钥匙，他把钥匙在手里摇了摇说：“它们是铃铛”圣诞老人也让他上了天堂。
英语短笑话带翻译
英语短笑话带翻译笑话是实际生活中客观存在的，作为文学式样，它的特征是戏谑、讽刺，其功能是启迪、警示。
小编精心收集了英语短笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!英语短笑话带翻译篇1Mother: Mary, why do you yell and scream so much? Play quietly like Eddie. See, he doesn't make a sound.Mary: Of course he doesn't. Mom, it's part of the game we are playing. He is Daddy coming home late, and I'm you.妈妈：玛丽，你为什么这样大喊大叫的? 为什么不能像艾迪那样安安静静的玩儿呢?你看艾迪一声儿都不出。
玛丽：妈妈，艾迪当然不会出声了，因为我们俩正在玩爸爸回家迟到的游戏呢，他扮演爸爸，我扮演你。
英语短笑话带翻译篇2On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。
班上最小的女孩说，她希望舞蹈演员可以长得更高一点儿，那么他们就不用整天踮着脚尖了。
英语短笑话带翻译篇3Half or Five Tenths?Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut theorange into five tenths.半个还是十分之五老师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是十分之五个柑橘?杰拉得：我宁可要半个。
关于短小的英文小笑话带翻译
关于短小的英文小笑话带翻译冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象，越来越受到大家的关注，尤其在网络、杂志、微博、电影上十分盛行。
小编精心收集了关于短小的英文小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!关于短小的英文小笑话带翻译篇1Pig or WitchA man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road.As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!" The manimmediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!" They each continue on theirway, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. Ifonly men would listen.一个男人在一条陡峭狭窄的山路上驾车，一个女人相向驾车而来。
他们相遇时，那个女的从窗中伸出头来叫到：“猪!!”那个男的立即从窗中伸出头来回敬道：“女巫!!”他们继续前行。
这个男的在下一个路口转弯时，撞上了路中间的一头猪。
要是这个男的能听懂那个女人的意思就好了。
关于短小的英文小笑话带翻译篇2We Left NothingMrs Brown was going out for the day. She locked the house and tacked a note for the milkmanon the door: "NOBODY HOME. DON’T LEAVE ANYTHING." When she got back that night, shefound her door broken open and her house ransacked. On the note she had left, she found thefollowing message added: "THANKS! WE HAVEN’T LEFT ANYTHING!"布朗太太要外出一天。
英语笑话带翻译最短
英语笑话带翻译最短笑话是民族文化及社会生活中不可缺少的一环,从古至今都拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱。
小编精心收集了最短的英语笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!最短的英语笑话带翻译篇1George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked, “can Albert come out to play? ”“ No,” said the mother, “it's too cold. ”“ Well, then, ” said George, “ can his football come out to play ? ”乔冶敲着他朋友家的门。
当朋友的妈妈来应门时，他问：“阿尔伯特可以出来玩吗? ”“ 不行，” 那位妈妈说，“ 天气太冷了。
”“ 噢，那么，” 乔冶，“ 他的足球可以出来玩吗?最短的英语笑话带翻译篇2Q: What's the difference between a monk ey and a flea?A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea ca n't have monkeys.猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢?你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。
但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。
最短的英语笑话带翻译篇3Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?A: By treading on his corn?如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的;而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。
Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。
最短的英语笑话带翻译篇4Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。
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英语笑话带翻译简短的篇一：短篇英语笑话10则带翻译短篇英语笑话10则带翻译①goldfish金鱼stan:Iwon92goldfish.Fred:whereareyougoingtokeepthem?stan:Inthebathroom。
Fred:butwhatwillyoudowhenyouwanttotakeabath?stan:blindfold（蒙眼睛）them!==================================================== ===============斯丹：我赢了92条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！②TheRevenge欺骗的代价oldFarmerJohnsonwasdying.Thefamilywasstandingaroundhisbed.withalo wvoicehesaidtohiswife:"whenI'mdeadIwantyoutomarryfarmerJones."wife :"no,Ican'tmarryanyoneafteryou."Johnson:"butIwantyouto."wife:"butwhy ?"Johnson:"Jonesoncecheatedmeinahorsedeal!"==================================================== ===============老农约翰逊就要死了。
他的家人都站在床边。
他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。
”妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。
”约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。
”妻子：“为什么？”约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。
”③IthinkthatI'machicken我想我是一只鸡psychiatrist:what'syourproblem?patient:IthinkI'machicken.psychiatrist:howlonghasthisbeengoingon?patient:eversinceIwasanegg!==================================================== ===============精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？病人：我认为我是一只鸡。
精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。
④howdoIgetthegumout我怎么把口香糖取出来Distributingchewinggumtothepassengers,thestewardessexplaineditwastok eeptheirearsfrompopping.whentheplanelanded,oneofthepassengersrushed uptoherandsaid,"I'mmeetingmywiferightaway.howdoIgetthegumoutfrom myears?"==================================================== ===============当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。
飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前，说道：“我马上就要见到我妻子了。
我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？”⑤whereAmI我在哪儿Anenglishmanlosthiswaywhilehewasdrivinginthecountryside.hesawafarm erworkinginthefieldnearby,sohewentnearerinhiscarandaskedthefarmer,"ex cuseme,canyoutellmewhereIam?""Yes,"thefarmerlookedathimstrangelyan dsaid,"youareinyourcar,sir."================================ =================================一个英国人在乡下开车时迷了路，他看见一个农民正在附近的地里干活。
于是他就把车开过去问那位农民：“劳驾，您能告诉我我现在这是在哪儿吗？”“可以。
”农夫奇怪地看了看他，然后说道：“你现在在你的车子里，先生。
”⑥whydoyouneverphoneme?你为什么不给我打电话？mrsharrislivesinasmallvillage.herhusbandisdead,butshehasoneson.heistwe nty-oneandhisnameisgeoff.heworkedintheshopinthevillageandlivedwithhi smother,butthenhegotworkinatownandwentantlivedthere.Itsnamewasgree nsea.Itwasquitealongwayfromhismother'svillage,andshewasnothappyabou tthis,butgeoffsaid,"Thereisn'tanygoodworkformeinthecountry,mother,andI cangetalotofmoneyingreenseaandsendyousomeeveryweek."mrsharriswasv eryangrylastsunday.shegotinatrainandwenttoherson'shouseingreensea.Thenshesaidtohim,"geoff,whydoyouneverphoneme?"geofflaughed."but,moth er",hesaid,"youhaven'tgotaphone.""no,"sheanswered,"Ihaven't,butYou'Ve gotone!"==================================================== ==================我会告诉你这篇没有中文翻译吗。
⑦ThesameActionYieldsthesameResult相同的投资相同的结果Acoupleofhunterscharteredasmallplanetoflythemtoaforest,andmadeanapp ointmentwiththepilottocomebackandfetchtheminabouttwoweeks.Attheend ofthetwoweeks,theyhadshotalotofanimalsthattheywantedtoloadontothepla ne.butthepilotsaid,"Thisplanewon'tbeabletotakemorethanonewildbuffalo. You'llhavetoleavetheothersbehind."Thenthehuntersprotested,saying,"butla styear,anotherpilotwiththesameairplaneletustaketwobuffalosandsomeother animalsintheplaneaswell."sothenewpilotthoughtaboutit.hewasalittlebitske ptical,butfinallyhesaid,"oK,sinceyoudiditlastyear,Iguessthisyearwecandoit again."Thenheloadedthetwobuffalosandafewotheranimalsin,andtheplaneto okoff.Fiveminuteslater,itcrashedinaneighboringarea.Thethreemenclimbed outandlookedaround,andonehuntersaidtotheother,"wheredoyouthinkweare now?"Thesecondonesurveyedtheareaandsaid,"Ithinkwe'reaboutonemiletot heleftoftheplacewecrashedlastyear."==================================================== ==================有两个猎人包机前往一座森林，到了以后，他们和飞行员约定好两周后来接。
两周后，他们射了许多动物，而且打算把这些动物全部搬上那架小飞机，可是飞行员说：“这架飞机除了一头野牛外，没办法再多载了。
你们必须把其他的猎物都留下。
”猎人说：“但是去年另一个飞行员开一样的飞机，就让我们带两只水牛，还有一些其他的动物上机！”因为他们这样抗议，所以那个新飞行员想了一想后，尽管还是有点存疑，最后还是妥协说：“好吧！如果去年可以做到，今年应该也可以。
”所以他装了两头水牛和一些其他的动物。
结果飞机起飞五分钟后，就坠落在邻近的地方。
这3个人从飞机爬出来看了看四周，其中一个猎人对另一个说：“你认为我们现在在哪儿？”那个人瞧了一下，说：“我想大概距离去年坠机的地方西边一英哩远！”⑧chiefisatthewedding长官在婚礼上Apolicestoppedamotoristwhowasspeedingonthestreet. "butofficer,"themansaid,"Icanexplain." "Justbequiet,"snappedtheofficer."I'mgoingtoputyouinjailuntilthechiefgetsb ack.""but,officer,I….""Isaidtokeepquiet!Youaregoingtojail!"Afewhourslater,theofficerlookedinonhisprisonerandsaid,"Youareluckybec ausethechiefisathisdaughter'swedding.he'llbeinagoodmoodwhenhegetsbac k.""Areyousure?"answeredthemaninthecell."I'mthegroom."==================================================== ==================大街上的一个超速驾驶者被警察拦住了。