江苏省徐州市第三中学高三年级英语午练18

徐州三中2018届高三年级英语午练18
We all need to feel understood，recognized and affirmed(证实)by our friends，family and romantic partners.We all need to find our tribe.
Research has shown that among the benefits that come with being in a relationship or group，feeling accepted is regarded as the most important driver of meaning.When other people think you matter and treat you as if you matter，you believe you matter，too.
Though we all share a need to belong，in the first decades of the 20th century，many influential psychologists and physicians did not acknowledge this fundamental aspect of human nature.The idea that children needed parental love and care to live a full and meaningful life was not only considered medically dangerous，but it was dismissed as immoral and disgusting.
As behavioural psychology came into fashion and academic psychologists turned their attention to child­raising，this view shifted and they began to examine and affirm the vital importance of attachment in early life.They discovered that people，whatever their age，needed more than food and shelter to live full and healthy lives.
But，sadly，many of us lack close ties.At a time when we are more connected digitally than ever before，rates of social isolation(孤立)are rising.The results of an Age UK poll published recently suggest that half a million people over the age of 60 usually spend each day alone，and it's not unusual for another half a million people to go five or six days without seeing or speaking to someone.
All these figures reveal more than a rise in loneliness—they reveal a lack of meaning in people's lives.In surveys，we list our close relationships as our most important sources of meaning.Research shows that people who are lonely and isolated feel their lives are less meaningful.
While close relationships are critical for living a meaningful life，they are not the only important social bonds we need to cultivate(培养)．Psychologists have also discovered the value of small moments of intimacy(亲昵行为)．“High-quality connections”，as one researcher calls them，are positive，short­term interactions between two people when a couple holds hands on a walk or when two strangers have
an empathetic(移情作用的)conversation on a plane.High-quality connections have the potential to unlock meaning in our interactions with acquaintances，colleagues and strangers.
We can't control whether someone will make a high­quality connection with us，but we can all choose to start one.We can say hello to a stranger on the street rather than look away.We can choose to value people rather than devalue them.We can invite people to belong.
How to Be Wiser?
Wisdom is something that's hard to define and yet somehow we know it when we see it.The wise people can be thoughtful and self­reflective.They can recognize the limits of their own knowledge，consider alternative perspectives，and remember that the world is always changing.The wise people tolerate uncertainty and remain
optimistic that even tricky problems do have solutions.They can judge what is true or right.
Wisdom isn't an innate quality—we can be wise and unwise in different situations.Igor Grossman of the University of Waterloo in Canada found that some people appeared to be wise in one situation，but not in another.So why are there differences in different situations? People were wiser when they were with their friends.It made them more likely to have the bigger picture，to think of other perspectives and to recognize the limits of their own knowledge.When people were alone they seemed to get so involved in a situation that they didn't even think about alternatives.This means wisdom might be more common than we think.
Some people still displayed more wisdom than others and some were more foolish，but not across every situation.This provides hope.If we can be wise sometimes，maybe we can learn to be wise more often.The question is how to do it.For Cornell University psychologist Robert Sternberg，wisdom is all about balance.Following Sternberg's model，what you need to do is to remember to work out what all the different interests are in a given dilemma，both in the short and long term and to pay attention to the changing environment and how it might be shaped.Talking about yourself with another person can help.In a kind of school of wisdom，Grossman has experimented with different strategies in the lab.People were taught to take a different perspective by imagining they were taking a bird's-eye-view of the situation.The idea is to try to distance yourself from the immediate experience.So when I have a dilemma，I should be asking what others would do?
So can you set out to be wise? Yes，but there are lots of factors to remember.You need to take into account that people will have different goals，priorities and responses to your own.If you can juggle all that，you probably are showing wisdom.But the complexity shouldn't stop us from trying.As Grossman told me，“It's not that you suddenly become the next Buddha，but you do become a little bit wiser.”。