教你说地道的英语笑话
20个英语笑话爆笑超短【英语翻译笑话】[修改版]
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1．we two who and who？咱俩谁跟谁阿2．how are you ? how old are you?怎么是你，怎么老是你？3．you don"t bird me,i don"t bird you你不鸟我，我也不鸟你4．you have seed i will give you some color to see see,pothers ！together up ！你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！5．hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!! 有事起奏，无事退朝6．you me you me彼此彼此7．you give me stop!!你给我站住！8．know is know noknow is noknow知之为知之，不知为不知...9．watch sister表妹10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse" son can make hole!!龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子大地洞11．american chinese not enough美中不足12．one car e one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die车祸现场描述13．heart flower angry open心花怒放14．go past no mistake past走过路过，不要错过15．小明：i am sorry!老外：i am sorry too!小明：i am sorry three!老外：what are you sorry for?小明：i am sorry five!16．if you want money,i have no;if you want life,i have one!要钱没有，要命一条17．i call li old big. toyear 25.我叫李老大，今年25。
英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)
英语幽默笑话（优秀10篇）英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑，今天，小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话，希望大家能开心开心，一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：吠狗不咬人。
;”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
教你说地道的英语笑话
At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.
一谈到爱，每个人都变成了一位诗人。
11
Sometimes the perfect person for you is the one you least expect.
有时候，最适合你的人恰恰是你最没有想到的人。
唯一想叫她结婚的人就是她母亲。
I think- therefore I'm single.
我思考--所以我单身
A wallflower is a man whose phone doesn't ring- even when he's in the bath.
所谓局外人就是那些电话从不响的男人--即使当他们在洗澡的时候。
珍爱一切的好办法是：意识到你可能会失去它。
7
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away.
爱就像是握在手里的水银，把手指张开，它好好的呆在那里，要是你紧紧抓着，它反而溜走了。
不要等明天交不上差再找借口, 今天就要找好.
Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.
爱情就象照片,需要大量的暗房时间来培养.
Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.
5
I love a hand that meets my own with a grasp that causes some sensation.
学习简单的英文笑话
学习简单的英文笑话英语作为一门国际语言，对于日常交流和职场发展都有着重要的作用。
除了学习英文的正式语言和用法，学习一些简单的英文笑话也是很有趣和有助于提高英语水平的方式。
下面将分享一些简单的英文笑话，希望能给大家带来欢乐和学习的动力。
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!为什么稻草人获得了奖项？因为他在自己的领域表现出色！2. I used to play piano by ear.Now I use my hands.以前我靠听力弹钢琴。
现在我靠双手弹。
3. Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!为什么科学家不相信原子？因为它们构成了一切！4. How do you organize a space party?You just planet!怎样才能办一个太空派对？你只要把行星安排好！5. What did one wall say to the other wall?I'll meet you at the corner!一堵墙对另一堵墙说什么？我将在拐角处与你会面！6. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?It was two-tired!自行车为什么不能独立站立？因为它累了！7. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!被踩到的葡萄说了什么？什么都没有，它只是流出了一点葡萄酒！8. What did one ocean say to the other ocean?Nothing, they just waved!一个海洋对另一个海洋说什么？什么都没有，它们只是挥手示意！这些简单的英文笑话不仅语言简洁幽默，而且可以帮助我们理解英语中的双关语和幽默元素。
5个浅显易懂的英语小笑话
5个浅显易懂的英语小笑话1. "I have a terrible secret to confess," said the nervous man. "I don't know how to drive.""That's okay," the friend replied, "Neither do I."一个男人紧张地说：“我得向你坦白一个可怕的秘密，我不会开车。
”朋友回答说：“没关系，我也不会。
”2. "Do you want to hear a joke?" the man asked his friend."Sure," said the friend."Knock, knock," the man began."Who's there?" the friend asked."You are," said the man. "And you're drunk again!"“你想听笑话吗？”男人问他的朋友。
“当然，”朋友说。
“敲，敲，”男人开始讲。
“谁在那儿？”朋友问。
“你，”男人说。
“你又喝醉了！”3. "Did you hear about the restaurant that's all-you-can-eat?" asked the man."No," said the woman. "Is it good?""It's indescribable," said the man. "You'll just have to try it.""Well, I don't know," said the woman. "I'm trying to lose weight.""That's okay," said the man. "You can lose weight after you eat."一个男人问一个女人：“你有没有听说过有一家自助餐厅？”“没有，”女人说，“好吃吗？”“好吃得无法形容，”男人说，“你只有亲自去尝尝才行。
英语笑话带翻译爆笑
你怎么称运用了音近字的幽默效果，让人在语言的玩味中得到欢乐。
通过学习这些英语笑话，不仅可以轻松缓解学习压力，还能够提升我们对英语语言的敏感度、培养我们的幽默感。因此，学习英语笑话是非常有趣的一种学习方式。希望大家在学习英语的过程中可以多多尝试，感受不一样的英语魅力。
英语笑话带翻译爆笑
笑话是人们生活中不可或缺的一部分，它可以让人放松心情，快乐心情。而在学习英语的过程中，学习一些英语笑话不仅可以帮助我们更好地理解语言，还能增加学习的乐趣。下面就给大家介绍一些经典的英语笑话，以及它们的中文翻译，一起来感受一下英语幽默的魅力吧！
1. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
4. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
为什么骷髅不互相打架？
它们没有胆量。
这个笑话利用了“guts”（胆量）和“guts”（内脏）的双关语，十分巧妙地将内脏和勇气联系在了一起，给人一种突如其来的幽默感。
5. What do you call fake spaghetti?
Because it was two-tired!
为什么自行车站不起来？
因为它两个轮胎都平了！
这个笑话使用了双关语，将“tired”（疲倦的）和“tired”（轮胎瘪了）进行了巧妙的结合。这样的笑话不仅能够让人忍俊不禁，还能让学习者在欣赏笑话的同时加深对于英语语言的理解。
2. What did one wall say to the other wall?
“I’ll meet you at the corner.”
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全（带翻译）
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全（带翻译）下面是编辑整理的英语小笑话，希望能让您捧腹大笑!英语小笑话【一】1、The Fish NetCan you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.翻译：鱼网你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。
把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
小女孩回答道。
2、律师和胳膊、宝马A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer", he whined."You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off"翻译：一个律师打开他的宝马车门，突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了，警察赶到现场，律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。
“警察同志，看看他们把我的车弄的”律师哀怨地说。
幽默的英语笑话
幽默的英语笑话以下是六个幽默的英语笑话及翻译：1. Why is the doctor so angry? （为什么医生那么生气？）Because he has no patience.（因为他没有耐心呀。
）笑点：耐心=patience，病人（复数形式）=patients，两个词读音相似，一语双关。
2. What is the longest word in the English language?（英语里最长的单词是？)Smiles. Because there is a mile between its first and last letters.（Smiles，因为它的首尾字母之间隔了一英里那么长。
)笑点：翻译时需要保留smiles，因为中文不分单复数，这里规避了字面意义上的最长，而是利用了单词mile 的含义。
3. What do you call a deer with no eyes?（你把没有眼睛的鹿叫做什么？）No idea.（不知道。
）笑点：deer 和idea 读音相似，这里是谐音梗。
4. Two cats are on a roof. Which one slides off first?（两只猫在屋顶上，哪只先滑下来？）The one with the smaller mew!（叫声更小的那只！）笑点：mew 是猫叫的拟声词，这里也可以理解为mu（摩擦系数），根据物理定律，摩擦系数越小，物体越容易滑动。
5. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?（当你把一个雪人跟一个吸血鬼结合起来，会得到什么？）Frostbite.（霜冻。
）笑点：frostbite 有霜冻和冻伤的意思，这里是双关。
6. What's the best thing to put into a pie?（什么东西放在馅饼里最好？）Your teeth.（你的牙齿。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短
20个英语笑话爆笑超短1.Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!2.I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.3.What did the grape say after the elephant sat on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.4.How does a penguin build its house?Igloos it together!5.Why don’t skeletons fight each other?They don’t have the guts!6.Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!7.Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!8.Why don’t eggs tell jokes?Because they might crack up!9.Why was the math book sad?Because it had too many problems!10.What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?An abdominal snowman!11.Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?It was two-tired!12.How does a cucumber become a pickle?It goes through a jarring experience!13.What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear!14.Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?Because he was always spotted!15.Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negativenumbers?He will stop at nothing to avoid them!16.Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?Because then they would be bagels!17.What kind of tree fits in your hand?A palm tree!18.Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?Because they taste funny!19.How do you organize a space party?You planet!20.Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!以上是20个英语笑话爆笑超短的集合。
正宗英语笑话5篇总有一篇你会笑
正宗英语笑话5篇总有一篇你会笑下面是店铺整理的英语笑话大全，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：The doctor lives downstairs医生住在楼下"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。
“我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病。
”他从头到脚打量打量她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对你说。
第一，您的体重需要减少大约50磅;第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的美貌将会改变。
第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。
”英语笑话二：它们是从美国直接带来的Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。
英语小笑话带翻译
英语小笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译25则英语小笑话带翻译（一）：1。
Dad: Tom， please tell me， which month has 28 days?Tom: Every month。
爸爸：告诉我汤姆，哪个月有28天呢？汤姆：每个月都有啊！2。
Boy: Is this seat empty?Girl: Yes， and this one will be if you sit down。
男孩：这个座位是空的么？女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。
3。
Boy: "I'd like to call you。
What's your number?"girl: "It's in the phone book。
" Boy: "But I don't know your name。
" girl: "That's in the phone book too。
"男：我想给你打电话。
你的电话号码是多少？女：在电话本上呢。
男：可是我不明白你的名字呀。
女：也在电话本上呢。
4。
Palmist: The life line in your hand tells that you will die in a year。
Customer: Good gracious! In a year? Palmist: Yes， but I can't say in which。
手相大师：你手上的生命线显示出你还有一年将会死去。
顾客：天哪，一年后？手相大师：是的，可是我不能说是哪一年。
5。
A cop spotted a woman driving and knitting at the same time。
Coming up beside her， he said， "Pull over!" "No，" she replied， "a pair of socks!"巡警发现一名妇女边开车边织毛衣，便开车上前，说："靠边停车(套头衫)！" "不，" 她回答，"是一双袜子！"6。
英语经典笑话8篇
英语经典笑话8篇店铺给大家带来了英语经典笑话，让你开心快乐每一天!英语经典笑话一：1.What dog can jump higher than a building?什么狗比大楼跳的还高?Anydog, buildings can't jump!任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。
英语经典笑话二：2.Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. 老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。
One boy throws his bag out the window.一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。
Teacher: who just threw that?!老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?Boy: Me! I’m going home now.男孩：我!我现在要回家了。
英语经典笑话三：3.What has a head, a tail, and no body?什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体?A coin!硬币。
英语经典笑话四：4.What has one eye but cannot see?什么有一只眼睛，却看不见?A needle.针。
英语经典笑话五：5.Wife: "How would you describe me?"妻子：你会怎么形容我呢?Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK.Wife: "What does that mean?"妻子：那是什么意思?Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?Husband: "I'm just kidding!"丈夫：开个玩笑!英语经典笑话六：Lawyer and EngineerA lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and the insurance company paid for everything.""That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?" he asked.一个律师与一个工程师在加勒比海边钓鱼。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短 关于爆笑易懂的英语笑话
20个英语笑话爆笑超短关于爆笑易懂的英语笑话笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。
笑话可能只是文字游戏,但有时它在人们解决生活中的困惑时起着重要作用。
本文是关于爆笑易懂的英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助!关于爆笑易懂的英语笑话：The Clever Dog 聪明的小狗A little boy was practicing his violin, while his father sat reading the newspaper.The family dog began to howl along dismally.Finally, the father could endure the combination no more and said, “Can't you play something the dog doesn't know?”一个小男孩在练习小提琴，他的父亲在读报纸。
随着小男孩的琴声，家里养的狗也开始高一声低一声的叫起来。
最后，小男孩的父亲实在忍不下去了，说，“难道你就不能拉一些狗听不懂的曲子吗?”关于爆笑易懂的英语笑话：A smart horse 聪明的马There was a farmer who fell and broke his hipwhile he was plowing(耕地) , and his horse immediately galloped(疾驰，飞奔) five miles to the nearest town and returned, carrying a doctor on his back.“That’s a pretty smart horse,” thefarmer’s friend later observed.“Well, he’s not really so smart,” the farmer said.“The doctor he brought back was a veterinarian!”一位农夫在犁田时，不慎跌倒摔伤了屁股，他的马立即飞奔到五哩外最近的小镇，载了一位医生回来。
搞笑的英语笑话带翻译
笑话四：What do you get vampire? Frostbite! 当你把雪人和吸血鬼混合在一起，得到什么？冻伤！
这个笑话利用了两个不相干的元素进行组合，形成了一个令人忍俊不禁的效果。
通过学习和理解这些搞笑的英语笑话带翻译，我们不仅能够提高英语水平，还能更好地了解英语国家的文化和幽默传统。同时，也能够在日常生活中运用这些幽默的表达方式，增进与人的交流，营造轻松愉快的氛围。笑话不仅给人带来快乐，还能够增进人与人之间的情感交流，是一种很好的社交工具。所以，多多学习和分享笑话，让幽默成为我们生活中的一部分。
这些英语笑话不仅仅是用语言表达幽默，还是一种思维的创新，是一种跨文化交流的方式。这些笑话在英语国家以及全球广泛传播，无论是孩子还是成年人，都能从中获得快乐。笑话的翻译也是一项挑战，需要保持原意的幽默，同时还要符合另一种语言的表达习惯和文化背景。所以，将这些笑话翻译成其他语言需要一定的语言功底和文化素养。
笑话二：What do you call a bear with no teeth? Gummy bear! 没有牙齿的熊叫什么？软糖熊！
这个笑话利用了音近字的幽默，gummy bear在英语中有两个意思，一个是指一种软糖，另一个是指没有牙齿的熊。所以这个笑话的答案就是双关，又引人发笑。
笑话三：Why don't skeletons fight each other? Because they don't have the guts! 为什么骷髅不互相打架？因为它们没有内脏！
搞笑的英语笑话带翻译
笑话一：Why did the bicycle fall over? 因为它们两轮中的一个。
关于英语的笑话_经典四则_英语笑话
关于英语的笑话-经典四则1.一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，TOKOTA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”又有一辆经过，他又说：“oh，NISSAN！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，HONDA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”后来到了机场，那个日本人就问：“How Much？”出租车司机说：“1000！”日本人惊奇的问司机：“为什么那么贵？”出租车司机回答说：“oh，mileometer （计程表）！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”2.话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。
A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「I AM后羿！」B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM丘比特！」轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。
就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」3.某人刻苦学xi英语，终有小成。
一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：I am sorry. 老外应道：I am sorry too.某人听后又道：I am sorry three.老外不解，问：What are you sorry for?某人无奈，道：I am sorry five.4.某男，粗通英文，至使馆，有表要填，有一栏是sex。
该男思之久已，毅然下笔：“Once a week“。
签证官观后暴笑，曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female.“该男顿时赧颜，思之，填下“female“，官楞之，曰：“shouldn’t it be male?“男急释曰：“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.”。
英文笑话带翻译爆笑
2. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
怎么让纸巾跳舞呢？你往上放点音乐
3. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
英文笑话带翻译爆笑
笑话是生活中的调剂品，能够给人带来欢乐和放松。而英文笑话更是不同国家和地区都能理解的笑话形式，让人们在跨国交流中也能共享欢乐。下面就给大家带来一些经典的英文笑话，并附上中文翻译，一起来欣赏一下吧！
1. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
你怎样称呼不是你的奶酪呢？墨西哥煎玉米饼奶酪。
6. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
我告诉我妻子她应该接受自己的错误，她给了我一个拥抱。
以上是一些笑话不仅仅能给我们带来快乐，还能锻炼我们的英语听力和理解能力。希望大家在学习英语的道路上能够轻松愉快，充满笑声！
听说游乐场有绑架事件吗？他们醒来了。
4. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
为什么骷髅不打架呢？因为他们没有胆量。
5. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.
笑破肚皮的英语笑话
笑破肚皮的英语笑话
1
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?
妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!
2
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
小男孩问他的父亲：“爸爸，结婚要花多少钱?”
His father replied, "I don't know, son, because I'm
still paying for it now."
他的父亲答复说：“儿子，我不知道，因为我现在还在为它付账呢。
”
3
“闺女，香蕉用英语怎么说? ”“banana!”
“苹果呢?” “iPhone!”
“那大苹果呢?” “iPad!”
4
Student A: When do people talk least?
Student B: In February.
Student A: Why?
Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.
学生甲：人们在什么时候说话最少?学生乙：在二月。
学生甲：为什么呢?学生乙：因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。
DreamABC国际英语教你用英文讲笑话
DreamABC国际英语教你用英文讲笑话现在人受欢迎的类型有很多，比如帅气的、有文化的、会跳舞的、会唱歌的、幽默风趣的……就比如说幽默风趣的，DreamABC国际英语相信很多人都喜欢幽默的人，现在都流行讲冷笑话，那么如何显得与众不同呢？不如让DreamABC国际英语教你用英语讲个笑话吧！一：My little dog can’t reandMrs.Brown: oh my dear I have lost my precious little dog !Mrs.Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers !Mrs.Brown: It’s no use . My little dog can’t read .一：我的狗不识字布朗夫人：哦！亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！史密斯夫人：可是你应该在报纸上登广告啊！布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不识字。
二：He is really somebody-My uncle has 1000 men under him .-He is really somebody . What does he do ?-A maintenance man in a cemetery .二：他真是一个大人物-我叔叔下面有1000个人-他真是一个大人物。
干什么的？-墓地守墓人三：Good boy- Little Robert asked his mother for two cent .-“What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”-“I gave it to a poor old woman.”he answered.-“You’re a good boy.”said the mother proudly. “Here are two cents more. But why are you sointerested in the old woman?”-“She is the one who sells the candy”三：好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
简单英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子
简单英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子下面，就和一起来看一看简单大全笑破你的肚子，希望对大家有帮助!Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee.三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。
Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。
The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“你回家去取伞吧。
”The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。
”"We won't," the other two promised.“我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟容许说。
Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't ing back, so we might as well drink his coffee."两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。
”Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，“你们要是喝了，我就不去。
”Teacher: What is the plural of man,Tom?老师: 汤姆，“男人”这个词的复数形式是什么?Tom: Men.汤姆:男人们。
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洛基提醒：英语学习已经进入互联网时代
第一章幽默小火花
Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa.
钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡。
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚。
Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。
"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep.
“现在的梦想决定着你的将来”，所以还是再睡一会吧！
第二章英语笑话
1.Two Birds
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。
谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
2.The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
鱼网
“你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？”老师发问道。
“把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
”小女孩回答道。
3.The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."
新老师
9月1日，乔治放学回到家里。
“乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？”妈妈问。
“妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。
”
4.A physics Examination
Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls? Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
一次物理考试
在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。
这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？
尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。