关于简单的英语笑话故事

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短的英语笑话故事大全(13篇)

短的英语笑话故事大全(13篇)

短的英语笑话故事大全(13篇)短的英语笑话故事篇6 短的英语笑话故事篇7 短的英语笑话故事篇11I worked as a mailman for a short time. However, I am afraid of dogs and I had a lot of trouble.One day I tried to deliver some letters to a big house.I started to open the gate and all of a sudden a huge dog ran towards me.It growled and barked at me, I threw the letters over the fence. The dog picked them up and carried them into the house. The dog was a better mailman than I was!短的英语笑话故事篇12good news and bad newstheres good news and bad news, the divorce lawyer told his client.i could sure use some good news, sighed the client. whats it?your wife isnt demanding that your future inheritances be included in the settlement.and the bad news?after the divorce, shes marrying your father.短的英语笑话故事篇13After my husband,John,and I moved to Michigan fromNebraska,our new friends,proud of their beautiful tree一lined roads,teased us about the Midwests dull,flat,treeless land. When my parents,Nebraska farmers,visited us,I asked them about their trip.What a boring drive,my father replied.Once you get to Michigan, theres nothing to see but trees.。

最简单的英语笑话关于简单的英语小笑话

最简单的英语笑话关于简单的英语小笑话

最简单的英语笑话关于简单的英语小笑话简单的英语小笑话篇1I Want Her to go Nuts我要让她发疯Mrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, Paint me with diamondearrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。

她告诉那位肖像画家说:“画我带着钻石耳环、钻石项链、祖母绿手镯,还有红宝石垂饰。

”But you're not wearing any of those things.“但你现在没带这其中的任何一样饰品。

”I know, said Mrs. Flinders. It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he'd remarryright away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry.“我知道。

”福林德斯夫人说,“万一我先我丈夫死去,我肯定他会立刻再婚。

我要让那个女人为寻找这些珠宝而发疯。

简单的英语小笑话篇2Friend for Dinner请朋友吃饭Honey, said the husband to his wife, I invited a friend home for supper.“亲爱的,”丈夫对妻子说:“我邀请了一位朋友回家吃晚饭。

”What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I havent been shopping, all the dishes are dirty,and I dont feel like cooking a fancy meal!“什么?你疯了吗?我们的房子乱糟糟的,我很久没有买过东西回来了,所有的碗碟都是脏的,还有,我可不想做一餐累死人的晚饭。

2023英语讲小笑话,3篇

2023英语讲小笑话,3篇

2023英语讲小笑话,3篇(范例推荐)英语讲的小笑话1雇主和雇员Workman: “Mr. Brown, I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages.I have just been married."Employer: "Very sorry, my dear man, but I can"t help you. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside the factory we are not responsible."工人:“布朗先生,我想请您给我加一点工资。

我刚刚结了婚。

”雇主:“非常抱歉,老兄,但是我无能为力。

对工人在厂外发生的`事故我们概不负责。

”英语讲的小笑话2第一次开出租车A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath1, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.The driver said, "Look mate, don"t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn"t realize that a little tap would scare you so much." The driver replied, "Sorry, it"s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I"ve been drivinga funeral van for the last 25 years."乘客轻拍了一下出租车司机的肩膀,想问个问题。

短的英语笑话故事大全(精选10篇)

短的英语笑话故事大全(精选10篇)

短的英语笑话故事大全(精选10篇)笑话具有篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。

大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象,具有讽刺性和娱乐性。

其趣味有高下之分。

接下来由小编为大家整理出短的英语笑话故事大全(精选10篇),仅供参考,希望能够帮助到大家!短的英语笑话故事1Where is your beard?After many years, a young Jewish Talmud student who had left the old country for America returns to visit the family. "But--where is your beard?" asks his mother upon seeing him. "Mama," he replies, "in America, nobody wears a beard." "But at least you keep the Sabbath?" "Mama, business is business. In America, everybody works on the Sabbath." "But kosher food you still eat?" "Mama, in America, it is very difficult to keep kosher." The old lady ponders this information and then leans over and whispers in his ear, "Isaac, tell me--you’re still circumcised?"短的英语笑话故事2They Didnt Have Nikes In Those DaysA young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "Ill make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the bible a little, and get your hair cut, then well talk about it."A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if he could use the car. His father said, "Son, Im really proud of you. You brought your grades up, studied the bible well, but you didnt get your hair cut!"The young man waited a moment and then replied, "You know dad, Ive been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair."His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went."短的英语笑话故事3Polly Want a WHAT?This lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.""What do they say?" the priest asked."They only know how to say, Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?""Thats terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "But I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two talking female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots who I have taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship.""Thank you," said the lady.The next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priests house. The priests two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we are prostitutes! Do you want to have some fun?"One male parrot looks over to the other male parrot and screams, "Frank! Put the Bibles away--our prayers have been answered!"短的英语笑话故事4Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to Chinafromher visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directlyfromAmerica."短的英语笑话故事5Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".短的'英语笑话故事6Five Months OlderThe Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s p apers, he was surprised."How old are you?" he said."Eighteen, sir," said John."But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?""Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."短的英语笑话故事7West PointMy father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."短的英语笑话故事8Be Careful What You Wish ForA couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then sa id shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.短的英语笑话故事9Napoleon Was IllJack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year."He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.""No, n o, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!""Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."短的英语笑话故事10He Was Only Wrong by TwoJack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren‘t always smart enought to be acce pted by the college.One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I‘d better ask him a few questions first."Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn‘t know any of the answers.At last the dean said, "Well, what‘s five times seven?"The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."。

英语幽默笑话

英语幽默笑话

英语幽默笑话笑话一:一只鸟的英语水平有一只鸟飞到了一家语言学校的窗户上,看到窗户上写着:“免费学习英语,从零开始。

”于是,它翘起了尾巴,挺起了胸脯,然后大声地说道:“Polly wants a cracker!”(小鹦鹉想要个饼干!)这时,里面的老师听到了声音,走过来看窗户,发现了一只鸟。

老师开玩笑说:“你来这里学习英语吗?”鸟点点头。

老师继续说:“那你可以念一句英文的经典名言吗?”鸟听后想了一下,然后顺利地说道:“Early to bed, early to rise, makes abird healthy, wealthy, and wise!”(早睡早起使鸟健康、富有和聪明!)老师忍不住惊讶地说:“哇,你的英语真是棒极了!你是怎么学会的?”鸟笑着回答:“Well, actually I learned English from none other than Polly the Parrot!”(嗯,其实我是从鹦鹉波利那里学的英语!)笑话二:失踪的手机一天晚上,一位英国中学生在回家的路上,不小心将他的手机掉在了路上。

等他发现手机丢了,已经回到家了,于是他告诉他的爸爸发生了什么事情。

爸爸安慰他说:“别担心,我帮你打个电话,看看能不能找到手机。

”于是爸爸打了个电话,手机立刻就响了起来,但是声音却传来的十分奇怪。

爸爸听后说:“嗨,我是XX的爸爸。

你找到了我儿子的手机吗?”手机那头传来一个陌生的声音:“是的,我找到了。

你是他爸爸吗?”爸爸回答:“是的,我是他爸爸。

”手机那头的声音又问:“那你能告诉我他的厕所在哪里吗?我正躲在这儿接你的电话呢!”笑话三:英语课上的问题一天在英语课上,老师问学生们一个问题:“如果今天是过去的昨天,明天是过去的明天,那么今天是星期几?”结果所有的学生都陷入了沉思,似乎没有一个学生能够回答出这个问题。

就在这时,一个学生举手回答道:“老师,今天是星期二。

”老师听后很惊讶地问他:“为什么你认为今天是星期二?”学生回答:“因为我们是星期一上的英语课!”笑话四:一个有趣的对话一位美国人和一位英国人在一家酒吧里坐在一起,开始聊天。

英语搞笑笑话12篇

英语搞笑笑话12篇

英语搞笑笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话:两颗番茄he first tomato has no answer, the second tomato asked again. The tomato has no answer, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally turned slowly, said: "we are not tomatoes? We can talk?"两颗番茄去逛街,第一颗番茄突然走得很快,第二颗番茄就问:“我们要去哪里?” 第一颗番茄没有回答,第二颗番茄又问了一次。

第一颗番茄还没回答,所以第二颗番茄又问了一次。

第一颗番茄终于慢慢转头说:“我们不是番茄吗?我们会说话吗?”英语搞笑笑话:相同的职责The Same DutiesA retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army," the general said. "Nothing to it-you'll catch on again fast." Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, spanked his employer's wife on her bottom and said, "OK, sweetheart, it's back to the village for you."相同的职责一个退休的四星级将军在曼哈顿的一个酒吧偶然地遇到了他以前的勤务兵,勤务兵也退休在家。

简短的英语笑话带翻译

简短的英语笑话带翻译

简短的英语笑话带翻译篇一:短篇英语笑话10则带翻译短篇英语笑话10则带翻译① Goldfish金鱼Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom 。

Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold(蒙眼睛)them! =================================================================== 斯丹:我赢了92 条金鱼。

弗雷德:你想在哪儿养它们?斯丹:浴室。

弗雷德:但是你想洗澡时怎么办?斯丹:蒙住它们的眼睛!② The Revenge 欺骗的代价欺骗的代价Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone a er you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!" =================================================================== 老农约翰逊就要死了。

他的家人都站在床边。

关于英文笑话故事5篇_英语的笑话故事简短

关于英文笑话故事5篇_英语的笑话故事简短

关于英文笑话故事5篇_英语的笑话故事简短关于英文笑话故事5篇关于英文笑话故事篇一alieMom:"Whichbananadoyouwant,Victor"Victor:"Iwantthatoneofthegr eatet."Mom:"Victor,youhouldbepolite,tohavethatlittleone."Victor: "Mom,Imutlietobepolite"妈妈:“你要哪一只香蕉,维克多”维克多:“我要那只最大的。

”妈妈:“维克多,你应该懂礼貌,要那只小的。

”维克多:“妈妈,难道懂礼貌就必须说谎吗”关于英文笑话故事篇二TwoBird两只鸟Teacher:Herearetwobird,oneiawallow,theotheriparrow.Nowwhocantell uwhichiwhichStudent:IcannotpointoutbutIknowtheanwer.Teacher:Plea etellu.Student:Thewallowibeidetheparrowandtheparrowibeidethewall ow.老师:这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。

谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。

老师:请说说看。

学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

关于英文笑话故事篇三WhoItheLaziet谁最懒Father:Well,Tom,Iakedtoyourteachertoday,andnowIwanttoakyouaqueti on.WhoithelazietperoninyourclaTom:Idon"tknow,father.Father:Oh,ye,youdo!Think!Whenotherboyandgirlaredoingandwriting,whoitinthecla andonlywatchehowotherpeopleworkTom:Ourteacher,father.父亲:哎,汤姆,今天我跟你们老师谈过,现在我想问你个问题。

英语笑话故事4篇

英语笑话故事4篇

英语笑话故事4篇下面是店铺整理的英语笑话故事4篇,欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话故事一Jimmy is three years old.吉米3岁了。

One day, he was gazing out of the window when the night fell. He suddenly shouted, "Mum, mum, come close the window!"一天,他正在窗口观望,夜幕降临。

他突然喊道:“妈妈,妈妈,快来关窗!”"Why? It's not cold, sonny."“为什么?天不冷呀,宝贝。

”"Yes, mum, but the night will come inside."“是的,妈妈,可黑夜会进来。

”英语笑话故事二On one occasion when Mark Twain arrived in London from New York,the Star thought the fact worth recording onits evening placard.But there was another piece of news to bementioned:it was about the Ascot Cup being stolen.Theplacard thus ran: MARK TWAIN ARRIVES. ASCOT CUP STOLEN. Mark Twain,we believe,never heard the last of it.有一次,马克·吐温从纽约起程抵达伦敦访问,《星报》认为这个消息值得登在它的晚招贴上。

但是,还有一条消息也要登上:关于爱斯科杯被盗的消息。

招贴是这样写的:马克·吐温光临爱斯科杯被盗我们相信,马克·吐温从来也没听说过这件事。

简单搞笑的英语小故事

简单搞笑的英语小故事

简单搞笑的英语小故事(经典版)编制人:__________________审核人:__________________审批人:__________________编制单位:__________________编制时间:____年____月____日序言下载提示:该文档是本店铺精心编制而成的,希望大家下载后,能够帮助大家解决实际问题。

文档下载后可定制修改,请根据实际需要进行调整和使用,谢谢!并且,本店铺为大家提供各种类型的经典范文,如职场文书、合同协议、总结报告、演讲致辞、规章制度、自我鉴定、应急预案、教学资料、作文大全、其他范文等等,想了解不同范文格式和写法,敬请关注!Download tips: This document is carefully compiled by this editor. I hope that after you download it, it can help you solve practical problems. The document can be customized and modified after downloading, please adjust and use it according to actual needs, thank you!Moreover, our store provides various types of classic sample essays for everyone, such as workplace documents, contract agreements, summary reports, speeches, rules and regulations, self-assessment, emergency plans, teaching materials, essay summaries, other sample essays, etc. If you want to learn about different sample essay formats and writing methods, please stay tuned!简单搞笑的英语小故事简单搞笑的英语小故事(通用9篇)有很多孩子都喜欢听英语故事,特别是一些简单又很搞笑的小故事是很受欢迎的。

简单幽默英语小笑话 (细选3篇)

简单幽默英语小笑话 (细选3篇)

简单幽默英语小笑话(细选3篇)简单幽默英语小笑话1There once was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors' houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog.So one day the wife went to the pet store and said, “I need a good guard dog.”And the clerk replied, “Sorry, we're all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But he knows karate.”The wife didn't believe him so he said to the dog, "Karate that chair.”The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces, then he said to the dog, “Karate that table.” The dog went up to the table and broke it in half.So the wife bought the dog and took it home to her husband who was expecting a big guard dog. But then she told her husband that it knew karate, and he said “Karate my ass!”简单幽默英语小笑话2Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze!"The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"The first kid says, "A circumcision."And the second kid says, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!"简单幽默英语小笑话3Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with thesenew, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too-muumuus with tummy-support panels are included.Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheer-leader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.Mid-life Cr Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer)is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B别睡在庙里,因为跑得了和尚跑不了庙!初恋防震最佳,因为爱情像雨像雾又像风。

关于比较经典的英语笑话10条最短的英语笑话

关于比较经典的英语笑话10条最短的英语笑话

关于比较经典的英语笑话10条最短的英语笑话关于比较经典的英语笑话篇1Patient:Doctor,IthinkIneedglae.Teller:Youcertainlydo!Thiiabank.病人:“医生,我想我得配副眼镜。

”银行职员:“你当然需要!这里是银行。

”关于比较经典的英语笑话篇2AnArmybratwaboatingabouthifathertoaNavybrat."Mydadianengineer.Hecandoeverything.DoyouknowtheAlp""Ye,"aidtheNavybrat."Mydadhabuiltthem."Thenthenavalkidpoke:"AnddoyouknowtheDeadSea""Ye.""It'mydadwho'killedit!"一个年轻的陆军士兵跟一个海军士兵吹牛,说他爸多么了不起。

“我爸是个工程师。

他什么都会。

你知道阿尔卑斯山么”“知道,”海军说“我爸建的。

”年轻的海军说:“那你知道死海么”“知道。

”“那可是我爸弄死的”关于比较经典的英语笑话篇3ThingHaveBeenOkay一切都正常一对年轻夫妇有个儿子,已经四岁了,还没有开口说话,他们对此深感焦虑。

Theytookhimtopecialit,butthedoctorfoundnothingwrongwithhim.他们带他去找专家诊治,但医生们总觉得他没有毛病。

Thenonemorningatbreakfattheboyuddenlyblurted,Mom,thetoatibur ned.后来有一天早上吃早餐时,那孩子突然开口了:妈妈,面包烤焦了。

Youtalked!Youtalked!Shoutedhimother.你说话了!你说话了!他母亲叫了起来。

英语小笑话带翻译

英语小笑话带翻译

英语小笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译(精选12篇)笑话具有篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。

下面是店铺为大家整理的关于英语的小笑话带翻译,欢迎大家的阅读。

英语小笑话带翻译篇1He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。

-- 他真是一个大人物。

干什么的?-- 墓地守墓人。

英语小笑话带翻译篇2Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久,到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。

在银行柜台,银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票,看是否有假。

20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏

20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏

20个英语笑话爆笑超短的欣赏一些幽默的英语笑话,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天店铺在这里为大家分享20个英语笑话爆笑超短,希望大家喜欢这些英语笑话!20个英语笑话爆笑超短篇一1.Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.在期末考试之前,汤姆告诉他的母亲:“妈妈,我昨天晚上做了一个梦,梦见我通过了今天的考试。

”“不要相信梦,亲爱的。

据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。

”妈妈答道。

“那么,我真希望在今晚的梦中,我的其他功课都不及格。

”汤姆说。

2.On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上,幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。

经典英语笑话6篇

经典英语笑话6篇

经典英语笑话6篇英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。

下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一:我要做的一切就是付钱!All I do is pay"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "Mywife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,and my daughter is foreign secretary.""Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is yourposition?""I’m the people. All I do is pay."布朗先生告诉同事说:“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。

我妻子是财政部长。

我岳母是作战部长,我女儿是外交秘书。

”“听上去挺有意思的,”他的同事说,“那你的职务是什么呢?”“我就是老百姓。

我要做的一切就是付钱。

”英语笑话二:喂狗 For the DogThe family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter."My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?""Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"一家人在饭馆里吃过晚饭,父亲把服务生叫了过来。

关于英文小笑话故事大全英语的笑话故事简短

关于英文小笑话故事大全英语的笑话故事简短

关于英文小笑话故事大全英语的笑话故事简短关于英文小笑话故事大全关于英文小笑话故事大全关于英文小笑话故事篇一瞎子的判断Once there was a blind. One day when he was walking, he stepped the head of the dog who was sleeping. The dog barked for a while. The blind man went on for miles, this time he stepped the other dog“s tail, so this dog barked. The blind man had thought that it was the first dog, so he said in surprise, It“s a wonder that the dog is so long. 从前有个瞎子。

一天,他正在行路时踩着了一只正在睡觉的狗的脑袋,狗汪汪汪地叫了一阵。

这人又往前走,这回踩着的是另外一只狗的尾巴,狗又汪汪汪地叫起来。

瞎子以为还是那条狗,惊诧地说:奇怪,这只狗可真够长的。

关于英文小笑话故事篇二我没有看到另外一块Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain thatJohnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn’t notice the other. 妈妈:约翰尼,我今天早上在橱子里放了两块点心。

现在就剩下一块了。

你能解释一下吗约翰尼:嗯,我想是因为里面太黑我没看到另外那块。

关于英文小笑话故事篇三铅笔he Astronaut Pen During the heat of the space race in the 1960s, the U.S. National Aeronautics and Space Administration decided it needed a ball point pen to write in the zero gravity confines of its space capsules. After considerable research and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of approximately $$1 million U.S. The pen worked and also enjoyed some modest success as a novelty item back here on earth. The Soviet Union, faced with the same problem, used a pencil. 在二十世纪六十年代,美国和苏联正处于太空竞赛的白热化阶段,美国航空航天局决定研制一种圆珠笔,以便在太空舱重力为零的环境下仍然可以书写。

英语小笑话故事精选

英语小笑话故事精选

英语小笑话故事精选笑话能反映出一个民族的价值系统及其对周围世界肯定和否定的态度。

小编精心收集了英语小笑话故事,供大家欣赏学习!英语小笑话故事篇1Twin Lobsters孪生龙虾Once I had achieved success as an entertainer, I wanted to impress my Mom. I brought her to Las Vegas for dinner at Caesar's Palace. Among other items, the menu listed "Twin Lobsters - $45."我当演员取得成功后,想在妈妈面前炫耀一番。

于是,我带着她到拉斯维加斯的凯撒宫去吃饭。

在菜谱中有道菜是“孪生龙虾--45美元。

”"Why don't you order that, Mom?" I asked. "I know how much you like lobster."“你为什么不点那个呢,妈?”我问道:“我知道你很喜欢吃龙虾了。

”She looked at me with the eyes of a skeptic and shook her head. "How do they know they're really twins?"她满眼狐疑地看着我,然后摇了摇头。

“他们怎么知道它们确实是孪生的呢?”英语小笑话故事篇2A Fine Match势均力敌One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap. The shopkeeper said to her, "Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse."有一天某位女士看到一只老鼠在自家的厨房地板上窜过。

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关于简单的英语笑话故事
导读:我根据大家的需要整理了一份关于《关于简单的英语笑话故事》的内容,具体内容:笑话一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一种民间口头创作形式,在民间文化中以口口相传的形式传播。

我分享,希望可以帮助大家!:A poor man 可怜的人"Oh, ...
笑话一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一种民间口头创作形式,在民间文化中以口口相传的形式传播。

我分享,希望可以帮助大家!
:A poor man 可怜的人
"Oh, my poor man," exclaimed the kind old lady, "It must be dreadful to be lame. But it would be much worse if you were blind." "Youre absolutely right," said the beggar, obviously an old hand at the game." When I was blind, people kept giving me foreign coins." "啊,可怜的人,"善良的老妇人惊叹道。

"脚瘸就够惨的了,要是眼瞎就更糟了。

"
"你说的一点儿没错,"那乞丐说,他显然是乞讨老手。

"我眼瞎的时候,人们老是给我外币。

"
:I Am Acting Like a Lady
One day when womens dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, adignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered(连续猛击,磨损) by frantic(狂乱的,疯狂的) women.
He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing(打,用连枷打) , he plowed through the crowed.
"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Cant you act like a gentleman?"
"Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."
:A Good Solution
A gentleman was sitting quietly in a first-class compartment. Two ladies got in. One of them saw that the window was open and she shut it before sitting down.
"Open it again," said the second lady, "Ill die of suffocation(窒息,闷死) if there is no fresh air."
"I wont open it," said the first lady, "Ill die of cold if the window is open."
A querrel started, and it continued until the gentleman spoke: "Lets have the window shut until this lady has died of suffocation, and then we can have it open until this lady has died of cold. After that it will be nice and quiet in here again."
:六还是十二
A blonde went into a pizza parlor(客厅,会客室) . When she said that shed like a medium pizza, the clerk asked her how many pieces shed like to have it cut into: six or twelve. Oh, goodness, six please,
said the blonde. I dont think I could ever eat twelve.
一位金发女郎走进一家比萨店,她说想要一个中比萨,店员问她希望把比萨切成六块还是十二块。

噢,天啊,请帮我切成六块。

女郎说,我可不认为我可以吃得下十二块。

:Wood Fire 森林之火
Wood Fire One woman lectured her best friend on the nature of the male animal. "Husbands are like wood fires; they go out if left unattened." "Does that mean," asked the other, "that they make ashes of themselves?"
森林之火一名妇女向她最好的朋友大谈雄性动物的特性:"丈夫们就像是森林里的火,一不注意,他们就会燃烧起来。

" "那是不是意味着,"另一个问道,"他们将自己烧成灰烬?"。

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