高中英语幽默笑话故事五篇
关于英文笑话故事5篇
关于英文笑话故事5篇从文化的角度对英语幽默笑话进行分析,英语教学中对英语幽默笑话的有效利用是培养文化知识的一种重要途径。
下面是店铺带来的关于英文笑话故事，欢迎阅读!关于英文笑话故事篇一a lieMom: "Which banana do you want, Victor?"Victor: "I want that one of the greatest."Mom: "Victor, you should be polite, to have that little one."Victor: "Mom, I must lie to be polite?"妈妈：“你要哪一只香蕉，维克多?”维克多：“我要那只最大的。
”妈妈：“维克多，你应该懂礼貌，要那只小的。
”维克多：“妈妈，难道懂礼貌就必须说谎吗?”关于英文笑话故事篇二Two Birds 两只鸟Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.Teacher: Please tell us.Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。
谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗?学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
关于英文笑话故事篇三Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?Tom: I don't know, father.Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?Tom: Our teacher, father.父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。
高中英语幽默笑话故事五篇
高中英语幽默笑话故事五篇关于高中英语幽默笑话故事<一>the wolf and the fox wanted to eat the rabbit, but it wasn't easy to catch him.one day the wolf said to the fox, "you go home and lie in bed. i'll tell the rabbit that you are dead. when he comes to look at you, you can jump up and catch him." that's a good idea," said the fox.he went home at once. the wolf went to the rabbit's house and knocked at the door. "who is it?" asked the rabbit. "it's the wolf. i've come to tell you that the fox is dead." then the wolf went away.the rabbit went to the fox's house. he looked in through the window and saw the fox lying in bed with his eyes closed. he thought, "is the fox really dead or is he pretending to be dead? if he's not dead, he'll catch me when i go near him." so he said, "the wolf says that the fox is dead. but he doesn't look like a dead fox. the mouth of a dead fox is always open." when the fox heard this, he thought, "i'll show him that i'm dead." so he opened his mouth.the rabbit knew that the fox wasn't dead, and he ran as quickly as he could.狼和狐狸想要吃掉兔子，但是这只兔子太难抓到了。
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话5篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语爆笑笑话一：Hospitality好客The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-piewithout any cheese.由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。
The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returnedwith a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。
过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。
The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You musthave better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?"客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪?”"In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.“在捕鼠夹上，先生。
”那小男孩说。
英语爆笑笑话二：太黑了，看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?”过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
高中英语幽默笑话故事五篇
高中英语幽默笑话故事五篇有时候阅读一些幽默搞笑的英语故事，除了能让人产生兴趣更能提高英语阅读水平。
以下是小编给大家整理的关于高中英语幽默笑话故事，希望可以帮到大家关于高中英语幽默笑话故事<一>the wolf and the fox wanted to eat the rabbit, but it wasn't easy to catch him.one day the wolf said to the fox, "you go home and lie in bed. i'll tell the rabbitthat you are dead. when he comes to look at you, you can jump up and catch him." that's a good idea," said the fox.he went home at once. the wolf went to the rabbit's house and knocked at the door. "who is it?" asked the rabbit. "it's the wolf. i've come to tell you that the fox is dead." then the wolf went away.the rabbit went to the fox's house. he looked in through the window and saw the fox lying in bed with his eyes closed. he thought, "is the fox really dead or is he pretending to be dead? if he's not dead, he'll catch me when i go near him." so he said, "the wolf says that the fox is dead. but he doesn't look like a dead fox. themouth of a dead fox is always open." when the fox heard this, he thought, "i'll show him that i'm dead." so he opened his mouth.the rabbit knew that the fox wasn't dead, and he ran as quickly as he could.狼和狐狸想要吃掉兔子，但是这只兔子太难抓到了。
英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)
英语幽默笑话（优秀10篇）英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑，今天，小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话，希望大家能开心开心，一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：吠狗不咬人。
;”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
高中英语好笑笑话带翻译
高中英语好笑笑话带翻译篇一：英语幽默笑话带翻译英语幽默笑话带翻译1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: “I think that he is very ill.”“I am afraid that he is dead.”said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: “I’m not dead. I’m still alive.”“Be quiet, “said the wife. “the doctor knows better than you!”医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:”我想他伤得很厉害.”医生说:”我怕他已经死了.”听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:”我没死,我还活着.”妻子说:”安静,医生比你懂得多.”2:You can’t go without meThe bus is very tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. “Hey,let me get on the bus.”the man shouts.”It’s too ‘d better take the next bus.”a passenger says to him.”But you can’t go withou ‘m the driver.”the man says.没有我你们走不了公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路.”喂,让我上车!”那位男士喊道.”车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆”车上的一位乘客对他说.”但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!”那位男士说道.3:DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, “What’s the meaning of the word ‘Drunk’, dad?”“Well, my son,” his father replied, “look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.””But, dad,”the boy said, “there’s only ONE policeman!”醉酒一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。
英语搞笑笑话6篇
英语搞笑笑话6篇幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。
笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古。
下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话一：How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。
孩子们齐声回答：“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗?”回答还是：“不能!”“好吧，”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行!”英语搞笑笑话二：I Want Her to go NutsMrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.""But you're not wearing any of those things.""I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die beforemy husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。
适合高一的英文幽默故事
1、一个女生前一天晚上得到男朋友的订婚戒指,但竟没有一个同学注意到,令她忿忿不平.到下午大家坐着谈天的时候,她突然站起来大声说：“哎呀,这里真热呀,我看我还是把戒指脱下来吧.”1.the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.2、女主人把女佣叫到面前问她：“你是否怀孕了?”“是啊!”女佣回道.“亏你还说得出口,你还没有结婚,难道不觉得害羞吗?”女主人再次训.“我为什么要害羞,女主人你自己不也怀孕了吗?”“可是我怀的是我丈夫的!”女主人生气地反驳.“我也是啊!”女佣高兴地附和.2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \"are you pregnant?\" \"Yes!\" The maid answered. Export \"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training again. \"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\" \"But I conceive is my husband!\" The hostess retorted angrily. \"Me too!\" The maid happy to echo.3、一个人骑摩托车喜欢反穿衣服,就是把口子在后面扣上,可以挡风.一天他酒后驾驶, 翻了,一头栽在路旁.警察赶到：警察甲：好严重的车祸.警察乙：是啊,脑袋都撞到后面去了.警察甲：嗯,还有呼吸,我们帮他把头转回来吧.警察乙：好.一、二使劲,转回来了.警察甲：嗯,没有呼吸了.3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing...4、在一条七拐八拐的乡村公路上,因为时常发生车祸,所以常常有一些鬼故事发生,有一天晚上,有一个出租车司机看见路边有一个长发披肩,身着白衣的女人向他招手,因为这个司机没有见过鬼,所以大胆的停下来让她上车了,这一路上,司机虽然不信有鬼,心里也毛毛的,所以时常从后视镜看后面的女人,开着开着,突然司机发现那个女人不见了!司机吓了一大跳,赶紧踩了一个刹车!只见那个女人满脸是血,表情狰狞.司机吓的牙直打颤.突然那女人开口了：“你会不会开车啊!我低头系个鞋带你突然一刹车我把鼻子都撞破了……”4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mindalso maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nose...\"5、一个病人去看病,医生检查了他,皱着眉头说：“您病得太严重了,恐怕不会活多久了.” 病人：“求您告诉我我还能活多久?” 医生：“十……” 病人着急地问：“十什么?十年?十个月?十天?” 医生：“十,九,八,七,六,五……”5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \"you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much longer.\" Patient: \"please tell me how long will I live?\" Doctor: \"ten...\" Patient anxiously asked: \"what? Ten years? Ten months? Ten days?\" Doctor: \"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\"6、老师：“你能说一些18世纪科学家共同特点吗?”学生：“能,他们都死了.”6, teacher: \"can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\" Student: \"yes, they are all dead.\"7、犀粪蜣和蚊子谈恋爱,蜣问蚊子是做什么工作的,蚊子说：“护士,打针的.”蜣一拍大腿：“缘分呐,我是中药局搓药丸的…”7. rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquitois to do what work, the mosquito said: \"nurse, give or take an injection.\" Qiang a clap a thigh: \"the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\"8、一非洲人住在某一宾馆.夜半,起火,不明原因.非洲人见状顾不了那么许多,光着身子就跑出去了.消防员见状惊呼：“我的妈呀!都烧的糊了吧区的了还能跑那么快!”8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed: \"my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\"9、一个人想出国考察,但必须得到老总批准.于是他向老总请示,老总给了他一张字条,上面写着：“Go ahead”. 那人想：“Go ahead=前进,老总是批准了.”于是他开始打点行李. 一个同事见到了他问：“你在做什啊?”他说：“我准备出国考察,老总批准了,给我写了‘Go ahead’.” 同事一见条就乐了：“咱们老总根本就没批准!咱老总的英语水平你还不知道,他这是在说去个头!”9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \"Go ahead\". The man thought, \"Go ahead = progress, boss is approved.\" So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked: \"what are you doing?\" He said: \"I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me 'Go ahead'.\" Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \"let's boss haven't approved! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\"10、牧师对买了他马和马车的农夫说：“这匹马只能听懂教会的语言,叫"感谢上帝"它就跑;叫"赞美上帝"它才停下.”农夫将信将疑,他试着喊了一声感谢上帝,那匹马立刻飞奔起来,越跑越快.一只跑到悬崖边上惊恐的农夫才想起让它停下来的口令“赞美上帝”.果然,马停下来了.死里逃生的农夫长出一口气：“感谢上帝………”10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \"this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\" thank god \"it ran; called\" praise god \"it didn't stop.\" Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password \"praise god\". Sure enough, the horse stopped. Close the farmer grows a sigh: \"thank god.\"。
高中英语好笑笑话带翻译
高中英语好笑笑话带翻译篇一：英语幽默笑话带翻译英语幽默笑话带翻译1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."2:You can't go without meThe bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts."It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him."But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.没有我你们走不了公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路."喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道."车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说."但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.3:DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.""But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"醉酒一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。
3分钟高中英语笑话大全
3分钟高中英语笑话大全3分钟高中英语笑话篇一Charge for Bread and ButterSome years ago, my dad, an attorney, took me to a fancy restaurant in Now York City. When the bill arrived, there was a $1.50 charge for bread and butter. Dad paid the bill, including the charge for bread and butter. However, the ne某t day, he sent a letter to the resturant stating that the charge was uncalled for. Enclosed in the same envelope was a bill for $500 in legal services.Someone from the restaurant called immediately and asked, "Whatis this $500 bill for? We never ordered any legal services."Dad replied, "I never ordered any bread and butter."The $1.50 was returned without delay.面包和黄油费几年前，我当律师的爸爸带我去纽约的一家高档餐馆。
帐单上来时，上面有1.5美元的面包和黄油费。
爸爸付了帐，连同面包和黄油的收费一齐付了。
但是第二天，他给餐馆寄了一封信，说那项收费是没有道理的。
随信还寄上了一张500美元的法律服务机构的收费单。
餐馆马上打来电话，问道：“这500美元的收费单是怎么回事?我们从来没有要什么法律机构的服务。
英语幽默笑话7篇
英语幽默笑话7篇笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言，笑话是一种艺术方法，用这种方法造成以笑为艺术手段的文学艺术作品。
下面是店铺整理的英语幽默笑话6篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：Is he dying?A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face.A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.一个男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流泪。
一个朋友走进来问他为何如此伤心。
那人哭着说：刚才医生告诉我，在我的余生里都要吃这些药片。
他的朋友很轻松地指出，许多人一辈子每天都要吃药。
当然，男人回答说：但是他只给了我十片。
英语笑话二：The blonde and the farmerThere was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to take&n......。
关于高中生的英语笑话
关于高中生的英语笑话作为一种独特的娱乐方式，英语笑话能够帮助人们减轻压力、放松心情、缓解疲劳，有利于身体健康。
下面是店铺带来的关于高中生的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!关于高中生的英语笑话篇一There was a perfect man and a perfect woman. They met each other at a perfect party. They dated for two perfect years. They had the perfect wedding and the perfect honeymoon. They had two perfect children.One day the perfect man and the perfect woman were driving in there perfect car, they saw an elf by the side of the road, being the perfect people they were they picked him up.Well as the perfect man and the perfect woman were driving with the elf, somehow they got into an accident. Two people died and one lived.Who died and who lived?The perfect woman, because the perfect man and elves aren't real.曾经有一个完美男人和一个完美女人，它们邂逅于一个完美的聚会。
完美的约会持续了两年，然后他们举行了完美的婚礼，并度过了完美的蜜月。
之后他们有了两个完美的孩子。
一天，完美男人和完美女人驾着他们那完美的轿车出行。
他们在路边看到一个精灵，由于他们是完美男女，于是他们载了精灵一程。
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全（带翻译）
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全（带翻译）下面是编辑整理的英语小笑话，希望能让您捧腹大笑!英语小笑话【一】1、The Fish NetCan you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.翻译：鱼网你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。
把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
小女孩回答道。
2、律师和胳膊、宝马A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer", he whined."You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off"翻译：一个律师打开他的宝马车门，突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了，警察赶到现场，律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。
“警察同志，看看他们把我的车弄的”律师哀怨地说。
适合高一的英语笑话大全
适合高一的英语笑话大全笑话是一种十分常见的语言现象，在日常生活中，它无处不在，起着十分重要的作用。
下面是店铺带来的适合高一的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!适合高一的英语笑话篇一One day, while Sue was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollars. A little bit suspicious, she confronted her husband of twenty years about it."Oh, that," Frank said. "Every time I cheated on you, I put an egg in this box." Sue was a bit unhappy about this, but figured that 3 affairs over twenty years wasn't so bad."But what about the 10,000 dollars?""Every time I got a dozen, I sold them."一天，妻子Sue 在整理床铺时，偶然发现了一个小盒子。
出于好奇心，她小心翼翼的打开了盒子，发现里面放了三枚鸡蛋和10000美元钞票。
对于相处了20余年丈夫居然对自己隐瞒了此事，她开始感到有些疑惑不安。
“哦，是这样的，”丈夫Frank 解释道，“每次我做了对你不忠的事，我就会在这个盒子里放一枚鸡蛋。
” Sue 虽然对此感到不很高兴，但是转念又一想20多年的丈夫背着她有婚外情也不过只有三次，想想也不算太坏。
“那么另外的那10000美元是怎么回事?”“每当鸡蛋凑够一打，我就卖了换成现金。
英语搞笑笑话10篇_幽默笑话带翻译阅读
英语搞笑笑话10篇_幽默笑话带翻译阅读多阅读一些有趣的英语笑话，能激起我们阅读英语的兴趣，从而提高英语的阅读能力，今天店铺在这里为大家分享英语搞笑笑话10篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话篇一An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street with one foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said：“Good evening，professor.How are you? “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.”有一天，人们看见一个有名的心不在焉的老师在路上走，他的一只脚一直踏在街沟里，另一只脚踩在人行道上。
一个碰见他的学生说：“晚安，老师。
您怎么了?” “啊，”这位老师回答说：“我想我离开家的时候还挺好的，可是现在我不知道出了什么毛病。
我已经一瘸一拐走了半个小时了。
”英语搞笑笑话篇二It's His FaultBilly and Bobby were small boys.They were brothers，and they often had fights with each other. Last Saturday their mother said to them，“I'm going to cook our lunch now.Go out and play in the garden—and be goo d.” “Yes，Mummy，” the two boys answered，and they went out. They played in the garden for half an hour，and then Billy ran into the kitchen.“Mummy，” he said，“Bobby's broken a window in Mrs.Allen's house.” Mrs.Allen was one of their neighbors. “He's a bad boy，”his mother said.“How did he break it?” “I threw a stone at him，” Billy answered，“and he quickly moved down.”比利和波比都是小男孩。
高中英语小笑话大全爆笑
高中英语小笑话大全爆笑笑话(jokes)往往是指能引人发笑的谈话或故事。
作为文体,篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,取得令人捧腹的艺术效果。
店铺整理了高中爆笑英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!高中爆笑英语小笑话篇一"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?""No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other ,so I am trying to stop it."把它堵在里面“孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了吗?”“没有，老师。
可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，一个耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。
”高中爆笑英语小笑话篇二A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel bag onto theplane. Helped by the flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin.'Doyou always carry such heavy luggage?' she sighed.'No more,'the man said.'Next time, I'm hiding in the bag, and my parter can buy the ticket!'行李一个商人拖着他那鼓鼓囊囊的特大号旅行袋登上飞机，真够费劲的。
在一位机务乘员的帮助下，他终于设法将旅行袋进了头顶上的行李箱。
幽默的英语笑话短文
幽默的英语笑话短文幽默的英语笑话短文（精选11篇）在繁忙的学习工作中，适时读一些幽默笑话，放松自己，劳逸结合十分重要。
下面是小编整理的幽默的英语笑话短文（精选11篇），希望大家喜欢！幽默的英语笑话短文篇1The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant."You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient,"For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist,or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price."Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.The Brain Surgeon replied,"No,it’s not better,just unused."一个外科医生正要作一个脑移植手术。
“你可以从两个脑子中选一个给你。
”医生告诉病人，“一个心理学家的大脑1000美元，一个政治家的大脑10000美元。
病人很惊讶二者之间这样大的.差别，“政治家的大脑好一些吗?”他问。
医生说：“不是好一些，只是没有用过。
”幽默的英语笑话短文篇2Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.Mum:There is no electricity tonight.Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.迈克：妈妈，我想看电视。
妈妈：今晚停电了。
迈克：那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。
有关高中英语小笑话大全
有关高中英语小笑话篇一Whose Dog Was the SmartestFour friends were arguing over whose dog was the smartest. The first man, an engineer, calledto his dog, "T Square, show your stuff. " The dog trotted over to a desk, pulled out a paperand pencil, and drew a perfect triangle.The next guy, an accountant, called to his dog, "Slide Rule, go ahead. " The dog went tothe kitchen, nibbled opened a bag of cookies and pided the contents into four equal piles.The next man, a chemist, beckoned his dog, Beaker, to show what he could do. The dogwent to the fridge, took out a quart of milk and poured out exactly eighty ounces into ameasuring cup.The last man was a government worker. "Coffee Break," he hollered to his dog, "go to it. "With that, the dog jumped to his feet, soiled the paper, ate the cookies and drank the milk.谁的狗最聪明四个朋友在为谁的狗最聪明而争吵。
英文小笑话高中作文大全
英文小笑话高中作文大全冷笑话是近年来颇为流行的一种语言现象,主要以机智、幽默著称。
店铺整理了高中英文小笑话，欢迎阅读!高中英文小笑话篇一a young couple were becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. they took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him. then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, mom, the toast is burned.一对年轻夫妇有个儿子，已经四岁了，还没有开口说话，他们对此深感焦虑。
他们带他去找专家诊治，但医生们总觉得他没有毛病。
后来有一天早上吃早餐时，那孩子突然开口了：妈妈，面包烤焦了。
you talked! you talked! shouted his mother. i'm so happy! but why has it taked this long?你说话了!你说话了!他母亲叫了起来。
我太高兴了!但为什么花了这么长的时间呢?well, up till now, said the boy, things have been okay.哦，在这之前，那男孩说，一切都很正常。
高中英文小笑话篇二it's not my fault不是我的错mother (reprimanding训斥，谴责her small daughter): you mustn't pull the cat's tail.妈妈(正教训她的女儿)：你不该拽猫的尾巴。
daughter: i'm only holding it, mom. the cat's doing the pulling.女儿：妈，我只是握着猫尾巴，它自己在拽。
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高中英语幽默笑话故事五篇有时候阅读一些幽默搞笑的英语故事，除了能让人产生兴趣更能提高英语阅读水平。
以下是小编给大家整理的关于高中英语幽默笑话故事，希望可以帮到大家关于高中英语幽默笑话故事the wolf and the fox wanted to eat the rabbit, but it wasn't easy to catch him.one day the wolf said to the fox, "you go home and lie in bed. i'll tell the rabbit that you are dead. when he comes to look at you, you can jump up and catch him." that's a good idea," said the fox.he went home at once. the wolf went to the rabbit's house and knocked at the door. "who is it?" asked the rabbit. "it's the wolf. i've come to tell you that the fox is dead." then the wolf went away.the rabbit went to the fox's house. he looked in through the window and saw the fox lying in bed with his eyes closed. he thought, "is the fox really dead or is he pretending to be dead? if he's not dead, he'll catch me when i go near him." so he said, "the wolf says that the fox is dead. but he doesn't look like a dead fox. the mouth of a dead fox is always open." when the fox heard this, he thought, "i'll show him that i'm dead." so he opened his mouth.the rabbit knew that the fox wasn't dead, and he ran as quickly as he could.狼和狐狸想要吃掉兔子，但是这只兔子太难抓到了。
一天，狼对狐狸说：“你回家假装躺在床上。
我去告诉兔子你已经死了。
当他来看你的时候，你就可以跳起来抓住他了。
”“真是个好主意!”狐狸说。
于是他立刻回到家。
狼去兔子的房前敲了敲门，“是谁啊?”兔子问道。
“狼，我是来告诉你狐狸已经死了。
”说完狼就走开了。
兔子去狐狸家看情况。
他通过狐狸家的窗户看到闭着眼睛的狐狸躺在床上。
他想，狐狸是真的死了，还是在假装呢?如果他没有死，那么我走近他就会被他抓住。
于是他说：“狼说狐狸死了。
但是他看起来并不像死掉了呀。
死去的狐狸通常都是张着嘴的。
”狐狸听到这些话就想：我得证明自己是真的死了。
于是他张开了嘴巴。
这时兔子知道狐狸并没有死，他就以最快的速度跑开啦关于高中英语幽默笑话故事there was a little old lady who was nearly blind, and she had three sons who wanted to prove which one was the best to her.从前有一个近乎失明的小老太，她有三个儿子，每一个都想向母亲证明自己对她最好。
son 1 bought her a 15-room mansion, thinking this would surely be the best that any of them could offer her.第一个儿子为她买下一栋有15个房间的大屋，他觉得这是对母亲最好的孝顺方式，其他兄弟都比不上。
son 2 bought her a beautiful mercedes with a chauffeur included, thinking this would surely win her approval.二儿子为她买了一辆漂亮的奔驰，还配了个司机。
他也觉得他一定会赢了。
son 3 had to do something even better, so he bought her a parrot that he had been training for 15 years to memorize the entire bible. you could ask the parrot any verse in the bible, and he could quote it word for word. what a gift that would be.老三为母亲买了一只鹦鹉。
这只鹦鹉接受了15年的训练，能一字不落地背诵整部圣经，并且不论你问他什么，他都能从圣经里原句引出。
well, the old lady went to the first son and said, "son, the house is just gorgeous, but it's really much too big for me. i only live in one room, and it's too large to clean and take care of. i really don't need the house, but thank you anyway." then she confronted her second son with, "son, the car is beautiful. it has everything you could ever want on it,but i don't drive and really don't like the chauffeur, so please return the car."这位老太太对他的第一个儿子说：“孩子，你买的房子很棒。
但是它太大了，我只能睡一间屋，还要花时间去打理剩下的房间，谢谢你，但我实在不需要它。
”接着她对二儿子说：“你的车也很好，再不能找到比那更棒的车了，但我不会开车，也不喜欢那个司机，所以你把它拿去推了吧!”next, she went to son 3 and said, "son, i just want to thank you for your most thoughtful gift. that chicken was delicious."最后，她对她的小儿子说：“孩子，我要感谢你最棒的礼物!那只鸡实在是美味啊!”关于高中英语幽默笑话故事a farmer and his son, traveling by horse and buggy up a narrow lane, met a motorist going the other way. there was no room to pass for two miles in either direction. the motorist, in hurry, honked his horn ."if you don't back up," said the farmer, rolling up his sleeves, i won't like what i'm going to have to do." the surprised driver put his car in reverse and backed up two miles, allowing the horse and buggy to go by. "what was it you wouldn't have liked to have done back there?" asked the farmer's son."back up two miles," replied the farmer.一位农夫和他的儿子乘坐轻便马车来到一段窄路，他们遇到一个开车的人向相反的方向去。
两个方向的两英里以内都没有地方可以使他们相擦而过。
驾车人甚是着急，按响了喇叭。
“如果你不后退，”农夫说着撸起了袖子，“我可不喜欢我将不得不做的事。
”司机吃惊不小，挂上倒挡，向后退了两英里，让轻便马车先过去。
“刚才在那儿你说过的你不喜欢要做的事是什么?”农夫的儿子问道。
“退后两英里，”农夫回答道。
关于高中英语幽默笑话故事graveyard scare140.墓地惊魂one dark night two guys were walking home after aparty and decided to take a shortcut through thecemetery.一个漆黑的夜晚，两个小伙子参加完聚会，决定抄近路穿过一片坟地走回家。
when they got to about the middle of the graveyard they were startled and stopped moving.there was this terrifying noise, "tap-tap-tap" coming from the shadows.走到坟地的中间，从阴暗处传出来恐怖的“嗒、嗒、嗒”声音，吓得他们再也走不动了。
trembling with fear, they spotted an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at oneof the headstones.浑身颤抖着，他们发现有个老人正拿着榔头和凿子凿一块墓碑。