英语幽默笑话带翻译
搞笑英文段子带翻译
下面是一些搞笑的英文段子，附带中文翻译，希望能给大家带来一些欢乐。
1. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
你怎么称呼穿着马甲的鳄鱼？
An investigator.
侦探鱼。
2. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
清洁工从壁橱里跳出来时说了什么？
“Suppliesu get when you cross a snowman and a dog?
如果你把雪人和狗交叉，会得到什么？
Frostbite.
冻伤。
6. What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
青蛙的车出故障会发生什么？
It gets toad away.
它会被拖走。
7. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?
海鸥为什么不飞越海湾？
Because then they’d be bagels!
因为那样它们就会成为贝果！
希望这些段子能给你带来欢乐，不过记得要根据具体情况来使用，要适时适地讲笑话哦！
为什么骷髅不互相打架？
They don’t have the guts.
因为它们没有胆量。
3. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire?
如果你把雪人和吸血鬼交叉，你得到什么？
Frostbite.
冻伤。
4. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
简短英语笑话带翻译大全
简短英语笑话带翻译大全英语要是不好，真的连笑话都看不懂哦!1. A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.程序猿的老婆告诉他：“你去商店给老娘买一条面包。
如果他们有鸡蛋，你就带1打回来。
”结果，程序猿回家的时候，带了12条长面包。
Hint：程序猿都清楚IF语句。
如果条件成立，那么怎么怎么样。
商店里面一定有鸡蛋哈哈哈。
2. A mathematician wanders back home at 3a.m. and proceeds to get an earful from his wife.“You’re late!” she yells. “You said you’d be home by 11:45!”“Actually,” the mathematician replies coolly, “I said I’d be home by a quarter of 12.”一个数学家在晚上3点时徘徊着回家，结果被老婆骂了一顿。
“你特么怎么这么晚!”她大喊道：“你说你会11点45分前回来的!”“事实上……”这位数学家蛋定地回复到：“我说的是在‘12的四分之一’也就是3点回来”Hint：a quarter是四分之一的意思，目测数学家今晚要跪搓衣板。
3. Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.你听说过诵读困难者，不可知论失眠症患者吗?哦知道，他整完不睡觉都在想世界上到底有没有“狗”的存在。
短篇英语笑话10则带翻译
短篇英语笑话10则带翻译①Goldfish金鱼Stan: I won 92 goldfish.Fred: Where are you going to keep them?Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them!===================================================================斯丹：我赢了92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！②The Revenge 欺骗的代价Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"===================================================================老农约翰逊就要死了。
他的家人都站在床边。
他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。
” 妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。
英语笑话带翻译简短的
英语笑话带翻译简短的1. Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!科学家为什么不相信原子？因为它们构成了一切！2. Why did the chicken go to the seance?To talk to the other side!为什么鸡要去参加降灵会？为了和另一边的人交谈！3. What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear!你怎么称呼一只没有牙齿的熊？软糖熊！4. How do you organize a space party?You "planet"!你怎样组织太空派对？你"计划"一下！5. What do you call fake spaghetti?An impasta!你会怎样称呼假的意大利面？冒牌意面！6. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? Because he was outstanding in his field!为什么稻草人会成为一位成功的政治家？因为他在自己的领域很出色！7. How do you make a tissue dance?You put a little boogie in it!你怎样让纸巾跳舞？你给它加点音乐！8. What did one wall say to the other wall?I'll meet you at the corner!一面墙对另一面墙说了什么？我将在拐角处与你相会！9. Why don't skeletons fight each other?They don't have the guts!为什么骷髅不互相打架？因为它们没有勇气！10. How do you catch a squirrel?Climb a tree and act like a nut!你怎么捉住一只松鼠？爬上树然后表现得像颗坚果！以上是一些简短的英语笑话，希望能给您带来些许欢乐。
英语小笑话 带翻译
笑话四中，“home”既可以指家，也可以指“归宿”，所以员工中奖后“去家里了”也可以理解为“找到了自己的归宿”。这个笑话利用了“home”这个词的双重含义，变相映射了中奖后员工的行为。
Because it had too many problems.
为什么数o you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
你怎么称呼一个没有牙齿的熊？
果冻熊。
笑话四：What did the employee do after winning the lottery?
笑话五中，“held up”一词既可以指阻碍、延误，也可以指抢劫。所以这个笑话的双关在于通过皮带的“支撑”和“阻碍”之间的联系，制造了一种幽默效果。
总结来说，这几个笑话利用了英语的语言特点，通过双关的方式，让人在听到笑话的瞬间产生一种意想不到的幽默感。这也正是英语笑话的魅力所在，通过语言的巧妙运用，创造出了一种诙谐的氛围，让人忍俊不禁。希望大家在学习英语的同时，多多接触英语笑话，感受英语语言的魅力。
英语小笑话 带翻译
笑话一：Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
老师：你爸爸有没有帮你做功课？
学生：没有，是他自己全部做的。
笑话二：Why was the math book sad?
笑话一中，学生回答“他自己全部做的”是指他的父亲没有帮助他，但也可以理解为“他”指的是学生的父亲，他自己做了所有的功课。这是一个双关的笑话，利用了英语中的语言特点，呈现了一种幽默的效果。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短【英语翻译笑话】[修改版]
![20个英语笑话爆笑超短【英语翻译笑话】[修改版]](https://img.taocdn.com/s3/m/a8884e71ec3a87c24128c47c.png)
1．we two who and who？咱俩谁跟谁阿2．how are you ? how old are you?怎么是你，怎么老是你？3．you don"t bird me,i don"t bird you你不鸟我，我也不鸟你4．you have seed i will give you some color to see see,pothers ！together up ！你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！5．hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!! 有事起奏，无事退朝6．you me you me彼此彼此7．you give me stop!!你给我站住！8．know is know noknow is noknow知之为知之，不知为不知...9．watch sister表妹10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse" son can make hole!!龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子大地洞11．american chinese not enough美中不足12．one car e one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die车祸现场描述13．heart flower angry open心花怒放14．go past no mistake past走过路过，不要错过15．小明：i am sorry!老外：i am sorry too!小明：i am sorry three!老外：what are you sorry for?小明：i am sorry five!16．if you want money,i have no;if you want life,i have one!要钱没有，要命一条17．i call li old big. toyear 25.我叫李老大，今年25。
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读
英语爆笑笑话6则带翻译双语阅读笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，另外一个行动(动作)型的笑话是以动作影响人的视觉及观感，而感到好笑。
下面一起来看一下一些爆笑英语笑话吧。
In music class, the teacher asked Jack: “Please answer me what the oldest musical instrument is.”音乐课上，老师问杰克：“请回答，世界上最古老的乐器是什么?”Jack answered unhesitatingly: “It is the accordion.”杰克坚定地回答：“是手风琴。
”The teacher asked doubtfully: “Why do you say that it is the accordion, my dear boy?”老师疑惑地问：“为什么是手风琴呢，英语笑话我可爱的孩子?”Jack s aid: “Teacher, don’t you see that the accordion is completely covered by wrinkles.”杰克说：“老师，您没看见手风琴上全是皱纹吗?”最好的解释The Best ExplanationOnce in a physics class, Tom’s teacher asked the students: “When it thunders, why do we see the lightning first, then hear the thunders?”一次物理课上，汤姆的老师问同学们：“当打雷的时候，为什么我们先看到闪电，然后才听到雷声呢?”Tom answered the question very quickly, while his classmates were thinking it hard.当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，英语笑话汤姆很快就答了上来。
英语笑话带翻译总有一个笑死你
英语笑话带翻译总有一个笑死你英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言，笑话是一种艺术方法。
下面是店铺整理的英语笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。
孩子们齐声回答：“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗?”回答还是：“不能!”“好吧，”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行!”英语笑话二：sells the candyLittle Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested inthe old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话5篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语爆笑笑话一：Hospitality好客The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-piewithout any cheese.由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。
The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returnedwith a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。
过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。
The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You musthave better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?"客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪?”"In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.“在捕鼠夹上，先生。
”那小男孩说。
英语爆笑笑话二：太黑了，看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?”过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
【爆笑英语小笑话带翻译】 英语小笑话带翻译
【爆笑英语小笑话带翻译】英语小笑话带翻译冷笑话是幽默的一种特殊的表现形式，它与传统的笑话不同，有其独特的产生和理解方式。
小编整理了爆笑英语小笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!爆笑英语小笑话带翻译篇一Late one night at the insane asylum ,one inmate shouted, “I am Napoleon!”Another one said, “How do you know?”The first inmate said, “God told me!”Jus t then, a voice from another roomshouted, “I did not!”一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：”我是拿破仑!”另一个说：”你怎么知道?”第一个人说：”上帝对我说的!”一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来：”我没说!”爆笑英语小笑话带翻译篇二One day after school the teacher said to his students, “Tomorrow morning, if any one of you can answer my first question, I will permit him or her to go homeearlier.” The next day, when the teacher came into the classroom, he found the blackboard daubed. He was very angry and asked, “Who did it? Please stand up!” “It’s me,” said Bob, “Now, I can go home. Good-bye, Sir.”我可以回家了一天，放学以后，老师对他的学生们说：”明天上午，如果你们当中的任何一个同学能首先回答我的问题，我就准许他或她最先回家。
关于英语的幽默笑话大全带翻译
关于英语的幽默笑话大全带翻译1.一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，TOKOTA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”又有一辆经过，他又说：“oh，NISSAN！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，HONDA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”后来到了机场，那个日本人就问：“How Much？”出租车司机说：“1000！”日本人惊奇的问司机：“为什么那么贵？”出租车司机回答说：“oh，mileometer（计程表）！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”2.话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。
A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「I AM后羿！」B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM 丘比特！」轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。
就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」3.某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。
一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：I am sorry.老外应道：I am sorry too.某人听后又道：I am sorry three.老外不解，问：What are you sorry for?某人无奈，道：I am sorry five.4.某男，粗通英文，至使馆，有表要填，有一栏是sex。
该男思之久已，毅然下笔：“Once a week“。
签证官观后暴笑，曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female.“该男顿时赧颜，思之，填下“female“，官楞之，曰：“shouldn’t it be male?“男急释曰：“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.”。
英语小笑话带翻译
英语小笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译（精选12篇）笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
下面是店铺为大家整理的关于英语的小笑话带翻译，欢迎大家的阅读。
英语小笑话带翻译篇1He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。
干什么的？-- 墓地守墓人。
英语小笑话带翻译篇2Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。
在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
英语笑话带翻译爆笑
你怎么称运用了音近字的幽默效果，让人在语言的玩味中得到欢乐。
通过学习这些英语笑话，不仅可以轻松缓解学习压力，还能够提升我们对英语语言的敏感度、培养我们的幽默感。因此，学习英语笑话是非常有趣的一种学习方式。希望大家在学习英语的过程中可以多多尝试，感受不一样的英语魅力。
英语笑话带翻译爆笑
笑话是人们生活中不可或缺的一部分，它可以让人放松心情，快乐心情。而在学习英语的过程中，学习一些英语笑话不仅可以帮助我们更好地理解语言，还能增加学习的乐趣。下面就给大家介绍一些经典的英语笑话，以及它们的中文翻译，一起来感受一下英语幽默的魅力吧！
1. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
4. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
为什么骷髅不互相打架？
它们没有胆量。
这个笑话利用了“guts”（胆量）和“guts”（内脏）的双关语，十分巧妙地将内脏和勇气联系在了一起，给人一种突如其来的幽默感。
5. What do you call fake spaghetti?
Because it was two-tired!
为什么自行车站不起来？
因为它两个轮胎都平了！
这个笑话使用了双关语，将“tired”（疲倦的）和“tired”（轮胎瘪了）进行了巧妙的结合。这样的笑话不仅能够让人忍俊不禁，还能让学习者在欣赏笑话的同时加深对于英语语言的理解。
2. What did one wall say to the other wall?
“I’ll meet you at the corner.”
有趣的英语笑话及翻译
有趣的英语笑话及翻译冷笑话是近几年新兴的一种语言现象,它轻松诙谐、别具一格,给我们紧张的生活增添了几分轻松的情趣,它一出现便受到了大多数人的喜爱。
下面是店铺带来的有趣的英语笑话及翻译，欢迎阅读!有趣的英语笑话及翻译篇一A Question 一个问题Professor: Before we begin the examination are there any question? Student: What's the name of this course?教授：在开始考试之前，还有什么问题吗? 学生：考试科目的名称是什么?有趣的英语笑话及翻译篇二I also have Bania blood in my bodyA rich Sardarji needed blood for his heart surgery. He got it from a poor short Bania. Sardarji gave him 5 million dollars.Once again the Sardar needed blood for surgery. Bania was more than happy to donatedblood again. This time, Sardar just gave him a Chocolate. Bania asked the reason.Sardar: Now I also have Bania blood in my body.富有的萨达尔需要血液来完成他的心脏手术，他从贫穷的巴尼亚那里得到了血液。
萨达尔给了他5000000美元作为报酬。
当萨达尔再次需要手术的时候，巴尼亚更是愿意捐献血液。
这个时候，萨达只是给了他一个巧克力。
巴尼亚问原因。
萨达尔：我身体现在也有巴尼亚的血液了。
有趣的英语笑话及翻译篇三Alexander the Great 亚历山大大帝Landon had made an unsuccessful attempt at the recitation(背诵，朗诵) , and the doctor, somewhat nettled(刺激，惹恼) , said: Landon, you don't seem to be getting on very fast in this subject. You seem to lack ambition. Why, at your ageAlexander the Great had conquered half the world.Yes, said Landon, he couldn't help it, for you will recall the fact, doctor, that Alexander the Great had Aristotle for a teacher.兰登作了一次不成功的朗诵。
搞笑的英语笑话带翻译
笑话四：What do you get vampire? Frostbite! 当你把雪人和吸血鬼混合在一起，得到什么？冻伤！
这个笑话利用了两个不相干的元素进行组合，形成了一个令人忍俊不禁的效果。
通过学习和理解这些搞笑的英语笑话带翻译，我们不仅能够提高英语水平，还能更好地了解英语国家的文化和幽默传统。同时，也能够在日常生活中运用这些幽默的表达方式，增进与人的交流，营造轻松愉快的氛围。笑话不仅给人带来快乐，还能够增进人与人之间的情感交流，是一种很好的社交工具。所以，多多学习和分享笑话，让幽默成为我们生活中的一部分。
这些英语笑话不仅仅是用语言表达幽默，还是一种思维的创新，是一种跨文化交流的方式。这些笑话在英语国家以及全球广泛传播，无论是孩子还是成年人，都能从中获得快乐。笑话的翻译也是一项挑战，需要保持原意的幽默，同时还要符合另一种语言的表达习惯和文化背景。所以，将这些笑话翻译成其他语言需要一定的语言功底和文化素养。
笑话二：What do you call a bear with no teeth? Gummy bear! 没有牙齿的熊叫什么？软糖熊！
这个笑话利用了音近字的幽默，gummy bear在英语中有两个意思，一个是指一种软糖，另一个是指没有牙齿的熊。所以这个笑话的答案就是双关，又引人发笑。
笑话三：Why don't skeletons fight each other? Because they don't have the guts! 为什么骷髅不互相打架？因为它们没有内脏！
搞笑的英语笑话带翻译
笑话一：Why did the bicycle fall over? 因为它们两轮中的一个。
英语小笑话短文带翻译(3篇)
英语小笑话短文带翻译（3篇）小学英语小笑话带翻译篇一'Isn't the head teacher a bit of a twit?' said a boy to a girl.一个小男孩跟小女孩说：“你有没有觉得班主任有点傻？”'Well, do you know who I am?' inquired the girl.小女孩回答到：“啊哈，你知道我是谁吗？”'No.' replied the boy.小男孩回答道：“不知道。
”'I'm the head teacher's daughter'， replied the girl.小女孩说：“我就是你口中所说的傻班主任的女儿。
”'And do you know who I am?' asked the boy.小男孩（面不改色心里惊恐地）问：“那你知道我是谁吗？”'No,' she uttered.小女孩说：“不知道。
”'Thank goodness!' said the boy with a sigh of relief.小男孩大大的松了口气，说道“真是谢天谢地啊。
”带翻译的英语小笑话篇二A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention,passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the threewe have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result."Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We justlost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive inLondon three hours late."At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose anotherengine, we'll be up here all night!"一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。
英文笑话带翻译爆笑
2. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
怎么让纸巾跳舞呢？你往上放点音乐
3. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
英文笑话带翻译爆笑
笑话是生活中的调剂品，能够给人带来欢乐和放松。而英文笑话更是不同国家和地区都能理解的笑话形式，让人们在跨国交流中也能共享欢乐。下面就给大家带来一些经典的英文笑话，并附上中文翻译，一起来欣赏一下吧！
1. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
你怎样称呼不是你的奶酪呢？墨西哥煎玉米饼奶酪。
6. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
我告诉我妻子她应该接受自己的错误，她给了我一个拥抱。
以上是一些笑话不仅仅能给我们带来快乐，还能锻炼我们的英语听力和理解能力。希望大家在学习英语的道路上能够轻松愉快，充满笑声！
听说游乐场有绑架事件吗？他们醒来了。
4. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
为什么骷髅不打架呢？因为他们没有胆量。
5. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.
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英语幽默笑话带翻译1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: I think that he is very ill. I am afraid that he is dead.said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: I'm not dead. I'm still alive. Be quiet, said the wife. he doctor knows better than you! 医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说尺我想他伤得很厉害尮医生说尺我怕他已经死了尮听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说尺我没死,我还活着尮妻子说尺安静,医生比你懂得多.2:You can't go without meThe bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. Hey,let me get on the bus. he man shouts.It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus.a passenger saysto him.But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver. he man says.没有我你们走不了公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路.尠喂,让我上车尡那位男士喊道.尠车太挤了, 你最好坐下一辆车上的一位乘客对他说.尠但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机尡那位男士说道.3:DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad? Well, my son, his father replied, look, there are standing two policemen. IfI regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.But, dad, the boy said, there's only ONE policeman!醉酒一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。
这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。
他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉'字是什么意思？”“唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。
如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。
”“可是，爸爸，”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”1 / 104:HospitalityThe hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on theguest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese? In the rat-trap, sir, replied the boy.好客由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。
这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。
过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。
客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪？”“在捕鼠夹上，先生。
”那小男孩说。
5:Dear white, something you got to know .When I was born, I was black.When I grow up, I am blackWhen I'm under the sun, I'm blackWhen I'm cold, I'm blackWhen I'm afraid, I'm black.When I'm sick, I'm black.When I die, I'm still black.you---white people,When you were born, you were pink.When you grow up, you become white.You're red under the sun.You're blue when you're cold.You are yellow when you're afraid.You're green when you're sick.You're gray when you die.And you, call me color?亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。
当我出生时，我是黑色的我长大了，我是黑色的我在阳光下，我是黑色的我寒冷时，我是黑色的我害怕时，我是黑色的我生病了，我是黑色的当我死了，我仍是黑色的。
你---白种人，当你出生时，你是粉红色的。
你长大了，变成白色的。
你在阳光下，你是红色的。
你寒冷时，你是青色的。
你害怕时，你是黄色的。
你生病时，你是绿色的。
当你死时，你是灰色的。
而你，却叫我「有色人种」？6：Where is the father?Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.Look, said the elder brother. How nice these paintings are!Yes, said the younger, ut in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, Obviously 敨眠獡瀠楡瑮湩?桴?楰瑣牵獥尮兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。
那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。
”2 / 107：How Many Rabbits?Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have? Jonathan: Nine, sir.Teacher: Nine?Jonathan: I've got one already, sir.多少只兔子？老师：好，乔纳森，假如我给你三只兔子，第二天我又给你五只，你一共有多少只兔子？乔纳森：一共有九只，先生。
老师：九只？乔纳森：先生，我本来就有一只。
8：These Are My JeansAfter going on a diet，a woman felt really good aboutherself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago．“Look，look．” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband．“I can wear my old jeans again．”Her husband looked at her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love you，but these are my jeans．”那是我的裤子!一个妇女在减肥一段时间后自我感觉特别好——特别是当她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔裤时。
她跑下楼冲她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。
我又能穿上以前的裤子了。
”她丈夫看了她好一会儿，然后说：“亲爱的，我爱你。
但那是我的裤子。
”9：The mean man's partyThe notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot. Why use my elbow and foot?Well, gosh, was the reply, You're not coming empty-hangded, are 潹?吝啬鬼请客一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。
他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。
门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。
”“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”“你的双手得拿礼物啊。
天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。
10：All I do is payMy family is just like a nation, Mr. Brown told his colleague. My wife3 / 10is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary.Sounds interesting, his colleague replied. And what is yourposition?I'm the people. All I do is pay.我要做的一切就是付钱布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。