英语小话剧搞笑唐伯虎点秋香

（江南四大才子结伴出游）
一女子：你们看，你们看，江南四大才子在那边哎.(look,look! here comes the four handsome boys! )
（众女子兴奋观看）
（四大才子摆ＰＯＳＥ，众女子倾倒逃散）
（一女子被四人拦住，被迫跳河）
唐伯虎：想跑？你飞不出我的五指山的。

（欲跳下河被拦住） (don’t go ,you can’t fly out of my five fingers! )
祝枝山：伯虎兄，有人在看。

(keep calm brother tang, someone watching )
祝枝山：今天我们江南四大才子到这里游山玩水，难怪那些女子要疯狂了。

(Today we four handsome boys here, it's no wonder that those women are crazy !)
文斌：说得是，(that’s true )
文征明：各位各位，既然大家今天兴致这么好，不如来吟首诗如何？（hey,boys ,how about singing poems since we are exicted 祝枝山：哎，征明兄提议的好啊。

文斌兄你先来。

That sounds great !so ,brother wenbing ,you singing first!）
文斌：来呀！(OK),山下一群鹅。

文征明：嘘声赶落河。

祝枝山：落河捉鹅一肚饿。

唐伯虎：吃完回家玩老婆。

三人：哎呀，对得妙呀，真是绝句！( Oh my gad ,this poem is really cool!)
唐伯虎：啊哈哈~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` (hahahahaha)
三人：真的那么好笑？！(oh,what he laughed at? and What’so fanny!)
文征明：为什么唐兄每次出游，都那么豪情奔放呢？ (why brother tang can keep happy everytime when we go out?)
文斌：乐而忘形，实在令人（三人）羡慕羡慕啊。

(Joy but driven, really make we three envy )
祝枝山：不过老实说，在江南论文章，唐兄他才高八斗，论丹青，妙笔生花，真是不折不
扣的才子啊。

（but to be honest ,brother tang’s article and his painting are the most famous ,he is a real talent!）文斌：不错，最令人羡慕的就是他在音律方面
也有很高的造诣。

(yes,and he is also good at music )
唐伯虎：那倒是，古今中外各种乐器我样样都玩得都出神入化。

最近我还在研究一种西洋
打击乐器，很带劲儿哦。

有机会可以研究一下，大家。

Thanks! There is no doubt that
I can play all kids of instrument ,and recently I was studying a western instrument ,it’s perfect ,we can discuss someday!)
文斌：对，研究一下！no problem!
文征明：我觉得唐兄最令人羡慕之处，莫过于他的艳福啊。

人人都知道，唐兄家中有八位
夫人，各个都貌美如花，国色天香。

做人能象唐兄这样，夫复何求啊？ But I think what most envy us is his 8 beautiful wifes ,if I have the same lift,there is no regret 唐伯虎：啊哈哈~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (ahahahah)
祝枝山：有马子可以上啊。

Look, there is a beauty !
祝枝山：哎，唐兄，你看桥头上有个婀娜多姿的女子，孤孤单单的。

这样好了，你就当场
示范一下你的泡妞大法，让我们兄弟几个好好地学一学。

Brother tang ,look at the lonely girl ,how about you to show us how can we get a girl’s love !
唐伯虎：这个嘛…… let me see …
文斌：事关大家的福利，你没问题吧？！ Hey ,go ahead ,we are waiting ,do you have something trouble!
唐伯虎：义不容辞。

No,my pleasure
祝枝山：去呀。

Come on!
唐伯虎：小姐。

Hai ,miss
女子：公子何事？（一回头，竟是如花！） yes?
三人：上！上！go go go
唐伯虎：没什么，我想借小姐的肩膀搭一下，不知道可不可以？ Nothing, I just want
to use your shouler ,so could you give me the chance ?
如花：这怎么行呢，我可是黄花大闺女啊。

That’s crazy! I am not married !
唐伯虎：我知道，我只不过是想整整我的朋友而己。

其实在下正是唐伯虎。

I know ,I just play a joke with my friends ,and you know what ,I am tang bo hu如花：什么糖
做的老虎，我不认识你。

你再不走，我可要叫了。

What? A tiger made by suger？infact
I don’t know you ,if you don’t go ,I will shout!
唐伯虎：这样好了，我给你公子何事？意思意思。

Ok,keep calm ,how about I give you ten yuan
如花：一两银子？你当我什么，最起码十两！ Ten yuan? No way ,at least one hundred yuan
唐伯虎：哇！你这德性还要十两？！干脆去抢了！wa! Look at you face ,it worth one hundred yuan ? you are really killing me ! you are a robber!
如花：不错，我就是抢！把钱拿出来！ Right, I am a robber,give me your money
（两人乱打）
唐伯虎：你……你…… you
如花：去死！ To death you !
唐伯虎：打你！ Beat you!
如花：捅你！ Fight you !
（最后如花被唐伯虎打落河中）
三人：哎？搞什么鬼啊？（赶到桥上）怎么搞的？怎么啦？ Oh, what are they doing ! what’s wrong!
文征明：你出手也太重了吧？！ You are too hard
唐伯虎：他想抢钱，这个死人妖！ He want to rob my money,hey,you stupid ladyboy! 三人：啊？！人妖？ what? ladyboy?
祝枝山：我喜欢！拿着。

（祝枝山将折扇递给文斌，跳入河中）I like!
文征明：真可惜！让他抢先一步！ What a pity ,he robbed first
路人：just do what I tell you
唐伯虎：are you sure this can help me !
路人：thrust me !and remember, you have give all the money that you sale yourself 唐伯虎：no problem!
路人：you are not kidding me ?
唐伯虎：don’t worry ,I never cheat a fool man
路人：ok.good boy!
街坊邻居们，快来啊，刚出炉的孝子大怕卖，不卖也来看一看啊！
（秋香和华府婢女石榴姐出门） hay ,sister and brother ,mother and father, look look ,look look,there is a good son to sale ,if you don’t buy also can have a look!
石榴姐：这位小哥，一大清早就来这里卖身葬父，太不吉利了吧？
Hey ,little brother , it’s too bad to sale yourself at the monrning ,that’s unlucky
唐伯虎：我也不想啊。

I know .but just sorry
秋香：我们好像在哪儿见过吧？你看起来好面善。

You, I think I have see you before ,you look so familiar
唐伯虎：所谓相逢曾相识，求求两位姐姐可怜可怜我吧！ Really, that’s doesn’t matter at all ,I beg you can buy me
石榴姐：真是好惨啊！我们正好缺个下人，我看就－－
that’s great .we just want to buy one
（这时又来一个，推着木车，车上六个死人，这人还口吐鲜血，极其悲惨！）
惨人：我好惨啊，卖身葬全家！good ladys, please mercy on me ,I have to sale myself to bury all of my family
唐伯虎：不会吧？！ Oh god ,I can’t believe it
惨人：两位姑娘，可怜可怜我吧，我一家六口一晚上全死光了。

我身染十级肺痨，半卖半送，你就买了我吧。

Ladys, please buy me ,all of my family were died last night ,and I was illness ,you know how hard I am….
秋香：哎呀，石榴，你看他可怜多了，我们就把他买回华府，好不好？ Oh,that’s too bad ,石榴 ,let’s buy him ok!
石榴姐：（哭）那就买他吧。

All right,
唐伯虎：姐姐，我先来的哎。

Hey, sister ,I come first !
秋香：这不是先后到的问题嘛。

There is no wander who come first1
石榴姐：对呀，人家家里死了六个，你家才死一个。

我也很想帮你，可是我真的很为难啊。

yes, he havelose six family ,but you just lose one ,I really want to help you ,but I can’t
唐伯虎：可是我也很惨啊but I also hard
石榴姐：你有什么比他更惨的，快说出来啊。

So ,tell us what else can made you more hard than him
唐伯虎：我……我……这……这……，你看我这几天没有剪指甲了，里面全是黑泥，难道这还不够惨吗？ I …i…i…look at my hands ,I haven’t wash my fingers for a long time ,and all of them are full of dirty dusty isn’t hard than him?
（惨人的小狗突然死去）
惨人：（痛哭）旺财……旺财……旺财你不能死啊，旺财，你跟了我这么多年，对我有情有义，肝胆相照，但是到了现在我连一顿饱饭都没让你吃过，我对不起你啊，旺财！ You can not die ,you and me live together for so many years ,wo just like brothers, but I can not give you a full lunch, I am so sorry
（唐伯虎看见一只蟑螂，喊“小心啊！”，石榴姐一退，将蟑螂踩死了。

） watch out ! 唐伯虎：（悲痛欲绝）小强！小强你怎么了小强？小强，你不能死啊！我跟你相依为命，同甘共苦了这么多年，一直把你当亲生骨肉一样教你养你，想不到今天，白发人送黑发人！small stronger …….what’s wrong with you, small stronger ,you can not die ,I with you for so many years ,and I threat you as my only child ,can’t believe it, today ,white hair people send off black hair peple
石榴姐：秋香姐，他们两个都这么惨，怎么办？秋香， The tow are really hard ,and what should we do
秋香：看看再说。

Let’s watching on
石榴姐：噢。

ok
惨人：妈的！（走到唐伯虎跟前，两人对峙）大哥，你别闹了。

你看看你那么干净，进去化个妆再来吧。

你看看我，烂命一条，满手烂疮，你怎么惨得过我啊？ Bad ,don’t play me anymore ,look at your clean face , you are not a good actor ! and look at me ,I have the skin cancer, and will die soon
唐伯虎：你不要跟我比啊，我最受不了人家跟我比了！ Kao ,don’t compare with me ,i hate this game!
惨人：跟你比又怎么样？ So what!
唐伯虎：你这不是在逼我吗？ You said it!
惨人：你能比我惨吗？yes, Can you do more things than me !
（唐伯虎拾起一根棍，将自己的胳膊打断）
唐伯虎：你说你满手烂疮，我现在整条手都断了，谁比谁惨呀！
How about this time ,I lose one of my leg ,
惨人：你玩得太绝了吧？！you are cary!
唐伯虎：你老子我今天跟你卯上了！ Yes,I just decided to win you today
惨人：老子陪你玩到底！妈的，来呀！（拿棍子砸破自己的头，血流如注）想跟我玩？我连命都不要了，看你怎么跟我比！谁－敢－比－我－惨－啊？！（倒地身亡） ok, I’ll play with you! … Bad guy ,I put my lift, and you? Hahaha,who can hard than me !!! 唐伯虎：好小子，算你惨，我们后会有期了！ Good job! You win ,ok, see you then…石榴姐：那个人死了，只有买你了！ Stop, that man was die ,and I‘ll buy you
唐伯虎：是吗？really?
石榴姐：是呀！ Yes!
唐伯虎：那你再加五两。

But I want to get five dollars
石榴姐：你这是坐地起价！ You’re robbing me!
唐伯虎：不是，我是想把这位老兄埋了。

No no no ,I just want to bury the man
石榴姐：真是个好人，就买他吧。

（拿出银子） you are really a good person ,let’s buy him
秋香：哎，石榴，你说买就买呀！我们得先进去问问夫人才能决定呀。

你明天再来吧。

Ai ..石榴，you can’t do this, we have to ask for the madom ,so come here tomorrow! 石榴姐：我去问。

I ask now
唐伯虎：秋香姐，辛苦你了！ Sister 秋香，thank you !
（秋香进门时回首对唐伯虎三笑）
唐伯虎：现在就开始挑逗我了。

老娘！我得手了~~~~~~~~~~~~~~yes, I am so happy!。