雅思写作案例分析详解

Some industrialized countries have serious environmental problems. The damage to the environment is an inevitable result when a country tends to improve the standard of living. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

正文：

Nowadays, environmental problems is (are/have been) one of the most serious phenomenon (Chinglish, 改为dangerous issues)that threat almost some(every) industrialized countries are facing. However, whether only countries use the resource in environment to increase the quality of life is a controversial issue. （我觉得应该改为：Thus, it is controversial that many countries have adapted the technics of excessively exploiting natural resources in order to accelerate economic development.）In my opinion, it is unavoidable that countries break the surrounding(破坏环境？不这样搭配) if they want to develop the industry and the level of life. (In my opinion, comparatively damage to the environment in the process of developing comprehensive national strength is an inevitable result.)

Nowadays, environmental problems have been one of the most dangerous issues that threat almost every industrialized countries. Thus, it is controversial that many countries have adapted the technics of excessively exploiting natural resources in order to accelerate economic development. In my opinion, comparatively damage to the environment in the process of developing comprehensive national strength is an inevitable result.

First, it is obvious the purpose of long-term human activity is to make industrial development（make development没有这个用法哦）and improve the quality of life. This means that there are more and more rubbishes when we are working.（为什么用这么多there be 句型呢）Therefore, if we want to promote the economic （promote economy）, we may damage our environment in the daily life.（in the daily life 很生硬, 改为in unconscious ways）

Firstly, the very existence of human beings indeed exerts various influences on the natural environment, such as water pollution, disafforestation and the greenhouse effect. Besides that, human waste pollution has become more and more noteworthy with the fast sprawl of urban districts concerning the unprecedentedly speed of economic development.

Moreover, with the population growing by （没这个搭配哈, with the amount of population growing/increasing 差不多）, we need a loads of resource（resources）to support our life. For example, it is allowed by government that every family can get child more than one since 2014 in China.(普遍二胎政策不是这样翻译的哈，还是自己要多查资料) So it maybe（may）consume more resources than before. (it consume，it指代的是什么？)

Moreover, larger pollution demands greater amounts of resources to support, a phenomenon that consequently adds more man-made pressure to the natural environment. For instance, Chinese government has issued the universal two-child policy which originally aims at optimizing the demographic structure but may simultaneously bring greater demands of natural resources from the environment.