英语趣味小短文(带翻译)

英语趣味小短文（带翻译）

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says："God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says： "A penny", then the man says： "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says： "a second", then the man says： "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问："主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答："一便士."男子又问："那一百万年呢?"上帝说："一秒钟."最后男子请求道："上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答："过一秒钟."

Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly："First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking："What should I do next?"

两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”

Cat and Mice

Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top.

" What's in your box?" asked the friend.

"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them."

"But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.

"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.

布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。

“盒子里装的是什么？”朋友问道。“一只小猫，”布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。这只猫能够抓住那些

老鼠。”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友说。“小猫也是假想的。”

布朗夫人小声说道。

I think that I'm a chicken

Psychiatrist： What's your problem?

Patient： I think I'm a chicken.

Psychiatrist： How long has this been going on?

Patient： Ever since I was an egg!

精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？

病人：我认为我是一只鸡。

精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？

病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。

我要表现得象位女士

I Am Acting Like a Lady

One day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get

his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.

He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed.

"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"

"Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."

我要表现得象位女士

一天，远东百货公司的女装大减价，一位高贵的中年男士想给太太买一件。不过，没过多久，他发现自己已被疯狂的女人冲得踉踉跄跄。

他竭力忍耐着。后来，他低下头，挥动双臂，挤过人群。

“你干嘛？”有人尖声叫道，“你难道不能表现得象位绅士吗？”

“听着，”他说，“我已经象绅士一样表现了一个小时。从现在起，我要表现得象个女士。”

The Broom Seller and the Barber

A man who sold brooms went into a barber's shop to get shaved. The barber bought one of his brooms, and, when he had shaved him, asked for the price of it.

"Two pence," said the man.

"No, no, " said the barber, "I will give you a penny, and if you do not think that enough, you may take your broom again."

The man took it, and asked what he had to pay for his shave.

"A penny." said the barber.