多人搞笑英文话剧 Wu song fought the tiger武松打虎(精品)

武松打虎剧本Wu song fought the tiger

旁白一：Water Margin is a well-known Chinese novel. It’s famous for the 108 chivalrous robbers in Song Dynasty. Wu song is one of the most popular among them. Now please enjoy the short play Wu Song fought the tiger.

（播放搞笑英文版好汉歌，武松大摇大摆拿棍子挥舞进场。）

第一幕：喝酒

武松：Hello! I am Wu Song. The most handsome, famous and clever man in Liang Shan. I am going home to kill my sister in law Pan jinlian! She poisoned my brother. I told my brother Pan jinlian was dangerous. But My brother still married her. (叹气，唉….跟音乐一起唱且跳舞)Dangerous, dangerous! The girl is dangerous.

(舞蹈dangerous…)

武松(见到酒店一家)：A restaurant! Good. I am hungry. (进屋坐下)Waiter! Wine! Wine! The best wine!

小二1：Hi, sir. Sit down please. Would you like XO, Er Guo Tou, Mao Tai, or Qing Dao beer?

武松：（晕晕乎乎地）How much is the XO?

小二1：1880 yuan . ( 展示大瓶酒，醒目的标价)

武松：Open…Open…..(喷嚏)（小二将酒瓶起开）

武松：（面怒，片刻无语）Open the window please！Not the wine. I want some er guo tou!

It’s strong enough.

小二1：You….You…..(敢怒不敢言, 转身倒碗二锅头)，Ok. Here you are.

武松：Anything to eat?

小二1：Would you like sandwiches, hamburgers, bread, or pizza?

武松：Ten pizzas, please.

小二1: Here you are!

武松：(喝一口酒）Good wine, very good wine!

（小二上了两碗酒，武松喝了，却是不再倒了）

武松：Waiter! I want more wine.

小二2：Sir, More pizzas OK, more wine no way! 客官，要比萨饼就给您，这酒就不添了。武松：(生气) Why? I have money! (扔钱倒桌上)

小二2：Look! (指着“三碗不过冈”牌子)。This wine is very strong. One bowl, comfortable.

Two bowls, can’t walk. Three bowls, drunk and fall!，(叫店小二示范) 喝一碗神清气爽，喝两碗保你浑身无力，喝三碗就立刻醉倒，最多喝保证你酒精中毒，命都没有了…… 武松：（喝一口，挤笑）Who am I? Wu Song! Even 18 bowls is nothing for me. Give me wine!(咆哮，敲桌子) 不是我狂妄，这酒劲虽大，可我绝对是应付得了，就是喝上十八碗也只是漱口而已，倒酒！

小二2：But you must call this number and buy one coffin first.(掏出手机，出示电话号码7474774，旁边注明棺材预订)，Then I will serve you more wine.

武松：（勉强同意，做打电话状）Hello! My name is Wusong. I need one coffin .......

小二2：Here is your wine. But your last meal, I think.你的酒来了！慢慢喝，估计是你最后一顿了。

（武松冷哼一声。一次次举起大碗，眨眼间十八碗酒就下了肚吃完了，扔下银两，拎着他的棍子就走）

掌柜：Where are you going, sir？

武松：Jing yang gang去景阳冈。

掌柜：Oh, my god. You want to die? There is a tiger there. It has eaten 30 People.客官万万去不得！如今景阳冈上有只华南虎，已经害了三十几个人,你不要命就去吧。

武松：(醉醺醺地) A tiger? I’ll kill it! Look ! I am so strong. I am good at Kong Fu!(秀肌肉，舞弄棍子，踢腿。)老虎？我要杀了它！看我有多壮！我的功夫多棒！

店内顾客1：You’d better not go today. It’s dark.我看你今天还是别去了。天已经黑了！

店内顾客2：Yes! You are drunk. Don’t go. 对啊，你喝多了，可万万去不得！

武松：(生气摆手) Go away! (摇摇晃晃走了)

店内顾客3：（摇头叹气）e mi tuo fo! God bless him! A men! （阿弥陀佛，上帝保佑，阿门）第二幕：打虎

旁白二：（武松提着短棍，大着步，径向景阳冈走去摇摇晃晃地走了一段路，有一只老虎跳出来）Wu song was on his way to Jing yang gang. Suddenly, a tiger jumped out.

路人甲：(担惊受怕) A Tiger! Run away!

路人乙：Go, go, go! (拐杖丢一边，都能跑了。)

路人丙: (慌乱，撞到武松) Oh my god…Help!

武松：Where is the tiger? You cowards ! Oh！My god! It’s a real mother tiger! ( 跪地求饶) Miss tiger. let me go! My mother is 80 years old. My son is only 2 years old. Please.

Please! 老虎在哪？你们这群胆小鬼！噢，天哪！一只母老虎！求求你让我走吧！我上有八十岁老母，下有两岁儿子。求你了！