西游记三打白骨精英语搞笑剧本

Three Times’ Beating Monster
人物：T唐僧 S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒 J：沙僧
B：白骨精 B1：B变成的村姑 B2：B变成的太婆 B3：B变化成的老头

once upon a time,there was a story about The Tang Priest (San zang) and his three disciples were on their way to the Western Heaven to obtain Buddhist scriptures.It is said that they had had 81 struggles and finally got the books.They were known for their persistent .
But in fact the thing is that......

J: Here we are!With green mountains around us and bright river along the mountains .What a lovely day!
T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?
S: Bajie,map!
E: (摸出，递给S)
S: Look,boss (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）
T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls!
E: Oh, boss!Forgive me(伸手拿回)
T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west
E: But……
T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?
E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.
S: Fat Pig!
E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….
S: You will what(凶相)?
E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).
S: Hm!
T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?
E: You see , boss is hungry,too!
T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!
J: But boss,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away…..
T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?
S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）
J: This is…..?
S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!
T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!
S: Bye!(走)
T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》
B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)That poor thing can never stop me from having delicious dinner. Now I've changed into a girl.
B1: (接近三人，望着)Hey,guys!Can I join you?
J: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.
B1: All right I'll watch you then.(在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!
T: Bomb?(打出)
B1: Double King!
T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a boss-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)
S: (回来，看见B1)Dai!You ugly monster!(上前就打)
B1: （倒)Ah……help!
T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!
S: She is a monster!
T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)
S: Oh,please don’t……
T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)
S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)
T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!
B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)
B2:Hello,have

you seen my daughter?
T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)
S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)
E&J: Are you Ok, boss?(扶T)
J: Look,(伸食指)how many?
T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)
B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊)
S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)
T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives!
S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!
T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!
S: (悲，离去)（音乐，营造 “假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》
J: boss, brother Monkey is.......
T: Don't mention that guy any more!
B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)
T: （惊）You are......
B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)
B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......
S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.
T: Wukong?
E: Oh,Brother Monkey!
J: Our hero is back!
T: I,I can't understand......What happened?
S: Boss,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!
T: How,how did you find out?
S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)
T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)
S: What?
T: I'm sorry.
S: Em? Louder,please?
T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏）
(谢幕)